00:21so I don't know the difference between trucks
00:23and sedans and whatever.
00:24Might I interest you in this monster sedan?
00:27Maybe that's how he would say it.
00:29And by the way, I would wear his outfit.
00:31What is it called?
00:32Like the, it's not AARP,
00:34it's like what's that car talk?
00:35APR financing?
00:38Okay, so I don't know how people talk about cars
00:40because I live in New York and I take the train like a hero.
00:43So I said 0% down on the APR financing
00:47of this monster sedan.
00:51Genius.
00:52So yeah.
00:58So this image is extremely powerful.
01:00So right now we have just someone kind of minding
01:03their beeswax in their apartment.
01:05When a parade comes in,
01:08maybe if one of my friends was taking the piss,
01:11they would be like,
01:12oh, Sarah and her freak circus are here?
01:14The door to Sarah's dressing room just opened.
01:17Yeah, okay.
01:22Okay, so this caption is in two parts
01:27because I'm not afraid to admit I've made mistakes.
01:28Like my first one is that feel
01:30when you invite the bisexual circus over.
01:33Or I think it's look who's coming to dinner.
01:37It's the bisexual circus.
01:39You know, as a straight woman with a queer haircut,
01:42I do recognize that when I show up,
01:44I kind of look like every single person in this image.
01:53This man has simply just been interred
01:56and he's realizing his eternal neighbor
02:00is his friend from college
02:02whose texts he's been ignoring.
02:05That's like the term I'm thinking of, neighborly.
02:07he's been worried about.
02:10Uh.
02:11Ah.
02:17Okay.
02:19I thought we all died alone.
02:20Now I have a roommate?
02:28Yeah.
02:29That's nice.
02:30Sounds good.
02:31Great.
02:33A clown has taken his car to the mechanic.
02:38The mechanic pops the hood and it's a clown car
02:40so obviously it's full of clowns.
02:43I just feel like this is a direct attack on me.
02:48But there's a normal guy in there.
02:51So the mechanic's like, ah, I found your problem.
02:53There's a normal guy in there.
02:55Or maybe what could be interesting is
02:58maybe he's the real clown
03:01because he works in Washington.
03:04Yeah.
03:06Hmm, this is actually deeper than I thought.
03:08Catalytic convert, catalytic accountant.
03:13Ah, there's your problem.
03:14One of your fellow clowns catalytic converted
03:18into a normal guy.
03:19Well, so we have a lit cannon, there's like a woman inside of it and she's making small talk with a guy holding wine at a party.
03:39It's a sort of a soiree.
03:41My first instinct is like, well I heard there was going to be a stripper popping out of a cake and I didn't realize she was going to be shot out of a cannon.
03:48But the party and his expression and the wine is giving me like dating's kind of weird vibes.
03:55So it's like meet cute, more like explode cute.
03:59Eh, I'll just do the stripper one, let's be real.
04:09Obviously he's saying, I thought the stripper was going to come out of a cake, not shot out of a cannon, but hey, either way, I'm hard.
04:16I know it doesn't, it's a mouthful and I know you can't tell that he's hard, but he is.
04:29You can also do the New Yorker caption contest at newyorker.com forward slash contest.
04:37And I've never said forward slash out loud in my life.
Be the first to comment