Amelia Dimoldenberg Enters the New Yorker Caption Contest

The New Yorker

The comedian Amelia Dimoldenberg, the creator and star of “Chicken Shop Date,” tackles The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest.

Transcript

00:00Hello, I'm Amelia de Moldenburg,

00:02and today I'm here to caption some New Yorker cartoons.

00:07So here I see a waiter carrying a pizza.

00:09It looks like he's either in a hurry

00:11or he's being chased by paparazzi.

00:14And the diners look pretty chill, actually,

00:17compared to the waiter.

00:19Like, why would all these paparazzi be, like,

00:21after the pizza and the waiter?

00:24Is he, is he, like, it's a famous pizza?

00:28Oh, okay, or, right, something to do with the couple,

00:32and she's saying, like,

00:33I, like, want my pizza to have, like,

00:35star quality or something.

00:37He's like, I like my pizza with extra cheese,

00:39and she's like, I like my pizza hounded by the press.

00:44Every time I say pepperoni, they think I say paparazzi.

00:49Right, we're just going with, we go, that's not good.

00:53We're going with.

00:58Personally, I like my pizza hounded by the press.

01:08Honestly, it looks like a father and a woman,

01:11or it could be a child.

01:12And then I'm seeing a cat with a crown lounging

01:16on a, on what looks like a throne.

01:18So it's like a king cat.

01:20Okay, so they look as if they're having to have

01:23a stern word with the cat.

01:25Something around catnip.

01:26Like, he's in rehab for catnip abuse.

01:31And there, like, we found the catnip again,

01:35and you said you wouldn't be taking it anymore.

01:40Why is he a king?

01:42This is, I think this is the thing.

01:44Pussy palace.

01:45The pussy palace.

01:51The pussy palace has to end.

01:53The pussy pal, with bad news,

01:55the pussy palace is being bulldozed.

02:04I can't even read my handwriting.

02:06Bad news, the lease on the pussy palace is up.

02:09So here I can see what looks like some kind of board meeting

02:18in an office building.

02:20Maybe in New York, maybe in the World Trade Center,

02:23where we are right now.

02:24There are all these employees,

02:26and they're looking at the fish.

02:29It looks as if the fish in the bowl is in charge somehow.

02:34Is he the new creative director?

02:37What kind of work could they be doing?

02:40They're like, are they working in a magazine?

02:42Maybe they are at the new, maybe this is the New Yorker.

02:44Okay, maybe this is the New Yorker offices.

02:50We're going to need to make some changes around here.

02:57It's a chicken, of course.

02:58Okay, so I'm looking at what looks like

03:01some kind of reception area.

03:04And there's a, I think a giant chicken,

03:06and a man behind the desk,

03:08and a man in front of the desk.

03:10Why the hell would there be such a massive chicken there?

03:13Welcome to KFC.

03:16You got to kill your own chicken.

03:22It's actually quite sad.

03:24It's actually quite a sad image.

03:26Because this chicken, something's happened to it.

03:30And it's got giant, like they fed it.

03:32They fed it so much.

03:36It's actually a comment on the American chicken industry

03:41and how it's messed up, guys.

03:45It is, and I'm saying that from someone who eats a lot of it.

03:49But don't look into it too much,

03:51because it will scare you, honestly.

03:53Yes, you do have to kill the chicken yourself.

04:00I feel like when I leave,

04:02I'll have like so many more other ideas for the caption,

04:06but it's actually really fun.

04:07I actually would recommend it as an exercise,

04:10if you want to like,

04:12if you want your brain to hurt for some reason.

04:15You can play this yourself at newyorker.com forward slash contest.

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