Daffy Duck Christmas full

RetroRare

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Transcript

00:00Transcription by CastingWords

00:30CastingWords

01:00CastingWords

01:30CastingWords

01:59CastingWords

02:29I told that pig to be here.

02:59What do I look like, an ATM?

03:03Geez, why is it around the holidays?

03:06Every vagrant thinks they're entitled to hit up hard-working businessmen.

03:13Hey, Doc, that's no way to scream those lists fortunate.

03:17Where's your sense of holiday spirit?

03:19Who asked you to butt in, long ears?

03:29Happy holidays, Mr. Duck. We're collecting donations for needy families.

03:37Well, that's an interesting spin on trespassing, pandering, and illegal solicitation.

03:43Scrab before I send you all to health prison!

03:54Now, that's the kind of holiday jingle I like to hear.

03:59Talk about easy money.

04:01It's a reason to get wealthy.

04:03Ooh-la-la-la-la-la, like greenbacks catch.

04:06Money in a shiny bucket.

04:08I will add it to my growing stock.

04:11Will?

04:13Yeah.

04:14He got a burning plant

04:18and he has a lot of stability.

04:20You know, it's always a good point, but he, he got a little bit of a drought in the plant.

04:23He's been a little bit, but he wanted to succeed.

04:25There's only a couple of them in a pot.

04:27I love to be alive.

04:29I love to be alive.

04:30And he's still alive.

04:31Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

04:32Stop.

04:33I love to be alive.

04:34What?

04:36Thank you for watching my bucket, Mr. Duck.

04:52Security! Security! I've been robbed!

04:55Security! Get over here and stomp on it!

05:06Eww!

05:23Note to self. Choose words carefully when berating the security guy.

05:36Attention, everybody! It's supposed to be a day of the year!

05:58No easy on my job, Coyote!

06:06Wait, you can smell the coffee, Spud!

06:17What do you think this is? A holiday?

06:27Home sweet home. How I miss you at the holidays.

06:33Yeah? Stop daydreaming, Spud!

06:36You have no need for the perfume, my Christmas kitty.

07:03You smell of the sweetest garden in the blue of the spring.

07:11Hey, Casanova, that's not what I meant when I said woo the customers.

07:15Watch the master.

07:16Take my advice, Tone of breath.

07:20Buy a quarter of the expensive stuff and gargle with it.

07:23Hello, my sweet. You are new, Bob.

07:35Oh, hey, Christmas in the dark. Or if they say in my country, Feliz Navidad.

07:51Tonto.

07:52What?

07:52What did you call me?

07:54Tonto.

07:55It means genius in Spanish.

07:59Well, in that case, I guess I'm the biggest Tonto in the world.

08:06Finally, a little respect.

08:08Now, where's that assistant manager gone this time?

08:11Mr. Assistant Manager!

08:13Move it, lazybones!

08:14Mr. Assistant Manager, you're a corky pig reporting for service, sir.

08:23Nice footwork, twinkle hooves.

08:24Mr. Assistant Manager, your boss wants to see your butt this instant.

08:48Mr. Assistant Manager, your boss wants to see your ass.

09:04Come here.

09:06Hi-ya!

09:09Wow, wow, wow, wow.

09:12Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

09:13Oh, wow, wow.

09:18Eh, what's up, duck?

09:35Here for a candy cane?

09:37Stop snacking on store merchandise, mister, or I'll see to it that you're arrested for stealing.

09:42You might want to stay away from the S-Words until you work through that little spitting problem of yours.

09:51And maybe you could see a speech specialist.

09:57You are devoted to assistant assistant manager.

10:02And you are messing with the wrong duck, mister.

10:06Well, I guess I could just take my last minute shopping list elsewhere.

10:12We, uh, rabbits are very political when it comes to having big families.

10:23I've never liked families, but I do love money.

10:26So shop till you drop, and don't forget to pay for the candy cane.

10:29Oh, I intend to, duck.

10:31Before I make my final purchases, I'm going to need a second opinion on a few items.

10:35I don't have the time to...

10:37What about a second month for my Aunt Bunny?

10:39And a second month for my cousin Franz?

10:40Ooh, how about this magic fairy dresser costume for my niece, Baby?

10:44And how about this pacifier for Baby Bunny and his bowling ball for my Uncle Peter?

10:50Ooh!

10:51Okay, fun's over.

10:59Ew, ew!

11:01Customer or no customer, get out of my sight!

11:03Ow, ow, ow!

11:05For shame, for shame.

11:08Has your holiday spirit flown south for the winter?

11:11In case you haven't noticed.

11:14I hate the holidays!

11:17You don't say.

11:18Well, bah, humduck.

11:22Bah, humduck?

11:23I like that.

11:25Bah, humduck.

11:27Yeah.

11:27If I were you, I'd be careful, duck.

11:30Bad things happen to people who mess with Christmas.

11:34Oh, yeah?

11:34Like what?

11:36Well, if they're really bad, and I think you fit the bill, they get visited by the ghosts of Christmas.

11:44I'm not afraid of ghosts.

11:47In fact, I'm not afraid of anything.

11:49Except perhaps low quarterly profit projections and personal intimacy.

11:53So again I say, bah, humduck!

11:55Ah!

11:59Ah!

12:11Sir, now that you've finished with your daily inspection, inspection, abuse, I was wondering how could that be a favor?

12:18Do I know you?

12:20Yes, sir.

12:21I'm your assistant assistant manager.

12:24Do I like you?

12:26You don't really like anyone, sir.

12:33I remember you now.

12:35And you're right.

12:35I don't like you.

12:38That said, sir, I won't deal with you very hard for you, are you long?

12:41And, well, my daughter, Priscilla, really, really wants that pretty pudgy piggy belt for Christmas.

12:47It's all she talks about, sir.

12:48She's my only daughter, and I love her so much.

12:50I really would like to buy it for her.

12:52But since you couldn't afford it, I can't afford it.

12:56Can't afford it, huh?

12:58What if you stopped eating?

12:59I don't eat much as it is, sir.

13:01I can't afford my salary.

13:03Then how do you explain the big pink gut pork chop?

13:06Oh, I'm a pig, sir.

13:09You said it.

13:10I didn't...

13:11Oh, yeah, please, sir.

13:12It's the holiday, the holiday, the holiday, the...

13:14It's Christmas, and...

13:15Hold that up.

13:17But it's Christmas.

13:31Prophets are good, but we can do better.

13:35What do you say, covering cap guy?

13:42Yikes!

13:43Do my eyes deceive me, or am I being visited by...

13:48Sylvester the Cat, alias Sylvester the Investor.

13:53Unscrupulous CEO of the super-successful catch-me-out super-stores.

13:57You...

13:58You were my idol.

14:00My inspiration.

14:01Hey, you're...

14:03Deceased?

14:04A spirit?

14:05A ghost?

14:06Why, yes, I am.

14:08I have been so since last Christmas Eve,

14:11when a disgruntled employee squashed me with a forklift.

14:16Nine times.

14:18Yes.

14:19That's what I said.

14:21But it was a fitting end for me, Doc.

14:23You see, I was like you.

14:26Small-minded, selfish, and seriously greedy.

14:30And if you don't change your ways,

14:32you'll end up just like yours, truly.

14:35Not a chance.

14:38I'd never be stupid enough to buy my employees a forklift.

14:41You're missing the point.

14:43You need to start putting other people's needs in front of the almighty dollar.

14:47Huh?

14:47Yes, it's going to hurt at first.

15:00But it's your only hope.

15:02Before the night is through,

15:04you'll be visited by three more ghosts.

15:07Each more terrifying than the last.

15:10Each on a quest for your very soul.

15:13Change, Lassie, before it's too late.

15:18Wait a minute.

15:19This is some kind of trick.

15:20Who puts you up to this?

15:22Was it the rabbit?

15:22Or did my subordinates hire you to scare me into treating them with some dignity?

15:27You're doomed.

15:28You're doomed.

15:30You're doomed.

15:38What's up, Doc?

15:39You look like you've seen a ghost.

15:47What are you doing here?

15:48I asked the little guy in the helmet downstairs if he knew of any cheapskates,

15:52and he sent me up here.

15:54Ow, ow, ow!

15:55Ow!

15:56Ow!

15:57Ow!

15:58Ow!

15:59Ow!

16:00Ow!

16:01Ow!

16:02Ow!

16:03Ow!

16:04Ow!

16:05Ow!

16:06Ow!

16:07Ow!

16:08Ow!

16:09Ow!

16:10Ow!

16:11Ow!

16:12Ow!

16:13Ow!

16:14Ow!

16:15I'm okay.

16:16I'm alright.

16:17I'm alright.

16:19Meese!

16:20There's something about that sound you make.

16:22It's just plain jangles right under.

16:23Get it.

16:24Get it.

16:25Get it.

16:26Get it.

16:27Get it.

16:28Get it.

16:29Get it.

16:30Get it.

16:31Get it.

16:32Get it.

16:33Get it.

16:34Get it.

16:35Get it.

16:36Get it.

16:37Get it.

16:38Well, looky here.

16:52It's a Christmas present just for me.

16:55And it's from my favorite person, me.

16:59Oh, my very own Taskmaster 7,000 Smart Office remote.

17:10Thank you, me.

17:29What is it, Fudd?

17:59Well, what is it, Fudd?

18:08Sorry to bother you, sir, but I've worked 37 straight little shifts, Mr. Duck.

18:18Yeah, yeah, get on with it.

18:21I'm delirious, sir.

18:22I can't keep my eyes open.

18:26Yeesh.

18:27Drink espresso.

18:29Pinch yourself.

18:30Just get back to work.

18:36Oh, who is he thinking?

18:44I am so very homesick, Mr. Duck.

18:52Well, get back to work.

18:53But it's Christmas Eve, and I miss my family.

18:57I long to hang on and on a laser annihilator cannon.

19:02Okay.

19:03I think I can arrange it.

19:05Oh, goody, goody.

19:06Good boy, I'm straight boy.

19:09Oh, you make me so very angry.

19:14I need to speak with you, Mr. Duck.

19:22I need to speak with you, Mr. Duck.

19:24I'm a local manager.

19:25I feel it's my responsibility, responsibility, to speak on behalf of all the ironically named

19:30people, people, people, people, motherfucking employees.

19:32I've already, quote, unquote, taken care of the others.

19:39So, if there isn't anything else...

19:40Well, sir, I'd like to take tomorrow off, so I can spend a Christmas day with my daughter,

19:46Priscilla.

19:50What is it with you and your daughter?

19:52You act like you're her father or something.

19:54She's my little girl, sir.

19:56And, well, with her mother gone, I'm all the family she has.

20:01At least, sir, just show a little Christmas.

20:04I'd like to, pig.

20:06I really would.

20:08But how would it look to the other employees?

20:11You can't always be thinking of yourself.

20:15Now stop your sniveling and go assistant-assistant-manage something.

20:19We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:22But, sir, what do I tell my little Priscilla?

20:27Tell her my humduck!

20:52We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:53We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:54We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:55We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:56We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:57We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:58We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

20:59We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:00We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:01We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:02We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:03We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:04We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:05We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:06We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:07We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:08We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.

21:09Who needs a white Christmas

21:31when you can have a green one instead?

21:35Whoa, time flies when you're getting rich.

21:39It's a good thing I don't pay overtime.

21:53Attention, Lucky Duck shoppers!

21:55For your convenience, our store will reopen at 5 a.m. on Christmas morning

22:00and will remain open until midnight.

22:02You owe your thanks to the dedicated Lucky Duck employees who live to serve me.

22:09No, no, no, no, you.

22:15Hey, fun space, don't forget to punch out!

22:18I asked for that.

22:32Oh, and Merry Christmas, Mr. Duck.

22:34See you in a few hours.

22:36Three more ghosts!

22:53Three more ghosts!

22:55You thought I was there.

23:18Why are you still here?

23:20I'm still here because there's this big snowdrift blocking the exit.

23:25That means I'm locked in here with you till 5 in the morning.

23:29Look on the bright side.

23:31We can sink arrows, make hot cider, and string popcorn on the tree.

23:34I thought you said there was a bright side.

23:37Hey, come on.

23:39Don't you want some company?

23:40What, will the ghosts lurking around?

23:42Oh, what is it with you and this ghost thing, anyway?

23:45How do you know so much?

23:46I'm a holiday expert.

23:48I love them so much that I've made it a point to learn everything there is to know about them.

23:52For instance, did you know that poinsettias were originally imported from Mexico?

23:56Hmm?

23:59Or that Santa Claus was born in Tyche?

24:01Which, of course, is normally associated with Thanksgiving.

24:04Stop!

24:04Say one more word and I start spitting hairs.

24:07I'm going to lock myself in my office for the night and roll around in my money.

24:15Don't let anyone pass you who floats or says, boo.

24:19Boo.

24:22Stupid morning, funny Santa Claus originators from Turkey.

24:26Coins that are imported from Mexico.

24:28Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

24:37A silver-haired septuagenarian and a sparrow.

25:01How scary can they be?

25:03You with a big, big booty.

25:06You should be ashamed.

25:08Oh, please, if that's the best you've got.

25:11Hey!

25:12How's it?

25:13Dead!

25:15Dead!

25:16Whoa there, silver box.

25:19It's time for you to examine your life, Mr. Duck.

25:22Stuffing from the beginning.

25:24Why don't you take us to bone down anyway?

25:27What if I refuse?

25:31Lead on.

25:35The Lucky Duck Orphanage?

25:42This is my unhappy childhood.

25:45Am I a ghost, too?

25:47Not yet, but you're walking on it.

25:49Okay, little ones, it's time to meet your prospective parents, so be on your best behavior.

26:08Oh, oh, pick me!

26:10My name is Daffy, and I'm special and colorful.

26:13I'm multi-talented, and I'm honey-trained.

26:21Well, for the most part.

26:22And I'm smart and loving and I'm honest and I'm trustworthy and I'm...

26:28I'm...

26:31Alone, just like every Christmas.

26:33I'm sorry, Daffy, but at least you'll get to spend another year here at the Lucky Duck Orphanage.

26:46I don't want to stay here.

26:54I just want a family.

26:56Now I see how you came up with the pathetically ironic name of your store.

27:09I can also see how you became the nasty, selfish, cold-hearted, pathetically narcissistic beauty thing that you are today.

27:17Thanks.

27:18I think.

27:18That doesn't excuse you for ruining Christmas for Pocky's little daughter and all of your employees.

27:27Now, what have you learned from your visit to Christmas Eve?

27:31That life is cruel and the only way to survive is to be as selfish as possible?

27:36Try again!

27:38Before anyone gives me another slot on the market, I have a proposition to make.

27:43We're listening.

27:44What say we use this time-travel gimmick of yours to hit last night's ninth race at the track?

27:49We put a boatload of money on a long shot named Limpin' Larry and walk away rich!

27:53Huh?

27:56He'll never change the money.

28:02Yeah!

28:05That was disrespectful.

28:07I hate to ruffle your ventures, Mr. Duck, but your 2 a.m. appointment is here.

28:12A Mr. Ghost of Christmas Present?

28:14Well, no!

28:15Not again!

28:16Not for food!

28:27I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, you greedy little holiday wrecked varmint!

28:33That's only part of who I am.

28:35I'm actually quite complex.

28:37I'm just supposed to take you on a little tour.

28:40But you're so low down, I'm gonna whomp you first!

28:43No!

28:44Thanks for making me feel special!

28:50Just for future reference, I'm not capable of passing through solid objects!

29:00You're just not trying hard enough!

29:03Grab onto my robe, varmint!

29:05Just don't let go!

29:07This is gonna hurt!

29:13No!

29:17I told you not to let go!

29:24Now look what your actions has caused!

29:26Ah!

29:27A fun cycle!

29:28There's a lot more to see, you mangy varmint!

29:32Cheap holiday sentiment!

29:53Cheap holiday sentiment!

29:55Drag through a toilet, the final indignity!

30:18Oh, begs to differ, Critter!

30:21This is the final indignity!

30:27So, hey, tomorrow's Christmas.

30:31I'm so excited!

30:33Do you think I'll get the pretty pudgy poogie doll I asked for?

30:36Gee, Priscilla, I...

30:39It's the only thing on my list, and I've been really good all year long!

30:44Yes, you have.

30:45You've been the best daughter ever.

30:49Daddy, why do you think Mr. Duck is so mean?

30:51Uh, I think it's because he doesn't have a family to spend Christmas with.

30:56They're like you and me.

31:04Yeah, look, that's the Christmas star!

31:07And make a wish before you go to sleep.

31:09I wish for my pretty pudgy piggy doll.

31:12Even more, I wish my daddy didn't have to go to work tomorrow so we could spend a Christmas day together.

31:20You think you're there now?

31:21Why can't you just give the sweet little figure dolly?

31:40You don't need the money!

31:42You have a firm grasp of guilt, Mr. Ghost, but you just don't understand the first thing about greed.

31:49What are you?

31:50How'd you like to ride back to your office on the end of my foot?

31:54A lovely offer, but I think I'll pass.

31:59Meow!

32:07Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, my candles shine out right me.

32:14Meow!

32:20You look terrible.

32:21If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd been beating about the head with a candy cane, dragged through the toilet, and kicked in the tail feathers with a size 10 boot.

32:29That's not the half of it.

32:31I'm starting to crack at it.

32:33Just a few minutes ago, I was watching this little kid wishing on the Christmas star, and I almost felt...

32:39Something?

32:41No.

32:42You?

32:42Does that mean you're willing to mends your greedy ways?

32:45I said I felt something, not insanity.

32:48Well, that's a shame, because I hear the last ghost is a real doozy.

32:53Wait!

32:53There's another ghost!

32:54Well, that's my cue to leave.

33:03Good luck in the afterworld.

33:06No, please!

33:07No, no, hide me!

33:09Please, hide me!

33:11How can I possibly resist?

33:14Quick, in here!

33:18In here!

33:19Too obvious!

33:25In here!

33:32This is just too easy.

33:34Right now, over here!

33:47No!

33:49Mommy?

33:52Woo!

33:52We get it!

33:55Listen, Mr. Ghost, I'm not sure exactly what you're after.

33:59You!

34:01I don't know what they're paying you down at the ghost company, but whatever it is, our triple

34:04is...

34:06Where are we?

34:18Who is my future?

34:22Try that again, and this time, enunciate.

34:26Well, it's my first daughter!

34:29Oh, that's not her!

34:32Boom!

34:32Well, I don't mean to tell you your business, Momof, but I think you've got the wrong holiday.

34:39This place has a distinctly Halloween-y vibe to it.

34:42Who's the stiff taking a dirt nap?

34:50Oh, Mr. Dappy, that never had a family, or friends for that matter.

35:00But maybe now he'll finally get what he always wanted, even if to be alone with his money, forever.

35:08Surely I did some good for others!

35:10I know!

35:11I provided him with gainful employment!

35:13Dappy tried to leave his store to himself and his will, which of course is illegal.

35:18As a result, we believe that Lucky Duck has been closed, and we're all out of jobs.

35:24But for the first time in years, we can all spend Christmas with our families.

35:28Okay, goodbye, Mr. Duck.

35:32Or, as you like to say, you'll be able to enter the home, Duck.

35:43Please, do something!

35:48I don't want to end up probably!

35:51And go home!

35:54Now, that was just plain room.

35:58Mr. Dappy, I know everybody hated you, but I never hated you.

36:04Because I know as much as anyone how sad and angry it can make a person to be without family at the holidays.

36:12So, if you're up there watching, or down there in your case,

36:17I want you to know that you don't have to be alone anymore.

36:20Because from now on, every Christmas, I'll come visit you.

36:24In case you don't know, it's the one day of the year when everyone is family.

36:28I made you some Christmas cookies.

36:31Merry Christmas, Mr. Duck.

36:33You know, Mumbles, I said I was sorry before, but now I really am.

36:51Can I please have a second chance?

36:56Go!

36:57Go!

36:58Go!

36:59Go!

37:00Go!

37:01Go!

37:02Go!

37:04Go!

37:05Go!

37:06Go!

37:07Go!

37:08Go!

37:09I'm alive!

37:10I'm okay!

37:11More importantly, I'm a changed duck filled with a spirit of giving!

37:15Go!

37:16Go!

37:17Go!

37:18Go!

37:19Go!

37:20Go!

37:21Go!

37:22Go!

37:23Go!

37:24Go!

37:25Go!

37:26Go!

37:27Go!

37:28Go!

37:29Go!

37:30But I haven't missed it. I'm giving you a raise on a once-long vacation in sunny Hawaii.

37:37But first, we've got work to do. Come on. It's time to save breakfast.

38:00Oh, Merry Christmas. Marvin, I bought you a rocket so you can fly home for the holidays.

38:06If you travel at the speed of light, you should make it by yesterday.

38:10Oh, you make me very happy.

38:14You'll never be hungry again, Coyote. I'm hiring you your own personal chef.

38:22Hey, sweetie, Merry Christmas.

38:26Or as they say in your country, sweet and eggnog.

38:30Oh, it's quite enough.

38:31A pretty pudgy piggy doll for the pretty, pretty piggy.

38:36And pretty pudgy piggy doll accessories complete with pretty pudgy piggy doll pony and pretty pudgy piggy doll dream house.

38:44And that's not all. I'm giving your dad, I mean my new store manager, and all my other loyal employees a raise and a paid vacation.

38:53Are you okay, sir?

38:55I'm better than okay. After all these years of greed and selfishness, I finally feel like a lucky duck.

39:04It's a miracle, Daddy.

39:05Daddy?

39:06Yes, Dad.

39:14Come on.

39:18Sir, I know you don't have a regular family, but today, we'd like you to be a part of ours.

39:35In case you don't know, that's what Christmas is all about, Mr. Duck.

39:48Oh!

40:04Presents, cash bonuses, improved health coverage, I'm gonna go broke!

40:10I gotta think of a strategy to reverse the situation.

40:14Should I steal back all the presents?

40:16Should I cut everyone's salaries?

40:18I gotta concentrate.

40:20Excuse me, sir.

40:22Would you like a cookie?

40:29Merry Christmas, Uncle Daffy.

40:32Uncle? Well, that may be pushing him a little.

40:36Okay, Uncle Daffy it is.

40:38The farmer did it!

40:40The farmer turned himself around!

40:42Ghost of Christmas!

40:44Get to come! Happy!

40:46Everyone, can I have your attention?

40:48I want to propose a toast to Mr. Daffy.

40:58He will be back at the greatest boss ever!

41:02Merry Christmas!

41:10Don't you just love the holidays?

41:12You are so happy!

41:14The farmer would be so happy!

41:15I'm so happy!

41:16I'll leave it!

41:18I'll leave it!

41:19I'll leave it!

41:20I'll leave it!

41:21You are so happy!

41:22You are so happy!

41:23I'll leave it!

41:24Yes, all you love me!

41:25Ho!

41:26Always!

41:27The farmer would be so happy!

41:29The farmer is!

41:31Once a guest is,

41:33the farmer!

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