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00:00Please welcome Jordan Gray, Jazzy Mew, and Flo and Joan.
00:09It's the black of light in the storm of the night.
00:13It's the tingle in your spine.
00:16It's the rummaring sense of something immense
00:20that's about to blow your mind.
00:23When it comes through the mist, a punchline with a fist
00:27where the war of wits gets through.
00:30Jokers risking the odds to go from weaners to gods
00:34in a ring of hardened steel.
00:37It's the clash, the clash of the commons.
00:41It's the clash, the clash of the commons.
00:44It's out of control, no, you're never gonna stop it.
00:47It's the clash, the clash of the commons.
00:51The clash, the clash of the commons.
00:55Causing through your system like a copycatonic.
00:58And every time you hear a crack or a thug,
01:01what means a comedian just spilled blood?
01:04What's the curse?
01:06Legally, we have to acknowledge
01:08that there won't be any actual blood in this show.
01:11But also, while you never know, there could be some blood.
01:14And at the very least, those leotards can certainly chafe.
01:18Clash, clack, clack, clack, clack.
01:22Stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp.
01:25Cop, cop, cop, cop.
01:28Put your hands over your mouths, you filthy, sick fox.
01:32It's the clash.
01:33It's the clash.
01:34The clash of the commons.
01:35The clash.
01:36It's the clash.
01:37The clash of the commons.
01:39It's the drive-in movie where you walk on the planet.
01:42It's the clash.
01:43It's the clash of the commons.
01:46It's the clash.
01:47It's the clash of the commons.
01:49So scream till you're covered in this shit and my head.
01:54Is that too far?
01:55Yeah, too far.
01:56No, no, no.
01:57It's the clash, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack of the commons.
02:03Here we go!
02:09I said no!
02:13Give it up for Jazzy, New Jordan, Graham Floyd!
02:21Keep it in the Apollo.
02:22Are you ready for the grand finale?
02:25I'd ideally like to be told in my ear exactly how to introduce this
02:28because I've run out of cue cards.
02:30So it's really coming together here.
02:32That guy's just come from giving Dioralite to Adam Hills.
02:44That man is called Harry, and it's a long story, but we're wearing each other's pants.
02:48So...
02:55I guess it's a classic case of drafted in for the gig at the last minute,
02:59I lent a tuxedo by the producer.
03:01The trousers had a slight rip in the side.
03:02I was wearing orange pants.
03:04It made it more obvious that the trousers had a rip in the side.
03:06Swapped pants with Harry, who was wearing black pants.
03:08I've got an answer.
03:09Yeah.
03:10Hi, Mo.
03:11I've got an answer.
03:12It's a step down.
03:13Audience, are you ready for the main events?
03:14Yes.
03:15Yes.
03:16Sarah Nish, Greg, what are your thoughts running through your mind as we head into Ed
03:26Gamble against Phil Wang.
03:27Is there any universe where this ends peacefully?
03:28Well, no.
03:29We need a happy ending.
03:30We need Phil Wang to come out on top.
03:31Yeah.
03:32Well, Phil is the rightful owner of the belt, and it was stolen by Ed Gamble.
03:36So we need a victory from Phil Wang this evening that would be fair, I think.
03:37That's fair.
03:38Not for me, man.
03:39I'm a villain all the way.
03:40Gamble has always been a friend to the Asian community.
03:41He's nice to my mum.
03:42He's got diabetes.
03:43That's all it takes.
03:44Gamble's a friend of Asians.
03:45Well, I'd be absolutely astonished.
03:46Ed's diabetes wasn't referenced in the forthcoming VT.
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04:43after but if you need any sort of loans before now just let me know I can probably do like a five or
04:48something. Gamble's Anonymous is going from strength to strength even though they've decided
04:52to not stay anonymous because they're fame-hungry little b****. I've got something you'll never have.
04:58Everyone is my best friend. I've got the people behind me. Ed Gamble, this isn't even my final
05:10form. You've awoken the lion in me. You can do it Phil. Time to cash out Phil. The house always wins.
05:25People of the Apollo get on your feet one final time and we prepare to welcome
05:31our main event. Entering the ring accompanied by bullets. It's Ed the Gambler. Gamble!
05:43Yes! Big booze from the crowd for Ed Gamble. He stole that belt from the actual champion.
05:52It's not his belt. He appears to be remontraining with individual audience members.
05:56Yeah, they're not happy to see him. This is something he normally only has to do when he's at one of my gigs.
06:03He's an awful man. He's done awful things. And let's hope that Phil Wang can actually write the
06:09bonds today. Wang is the, Wang was the champion. Gamble took the belt. He set up Gamble as Anonymous.
06:14We've seen elements of that organisation throughout the evening and now what we're seeing is the ultimate
06:20final matchup. Will Phil the Wang wanger manage to defeat Gamble. Oh, there's money falling on the
06:27ceiling. Oh my god. This is gross. Ed Gamble Pounds. It's Gamble Pounds. This is not legal tender.
06:35He's put his face on money. I cannot stress this enough. This is not legal tender.
06:39Oh my god. Ed Gamble is dropping money all over people in the middle of a cost of living crisis. It feels
06:48arrogant to the max, which is why we love it. He's getting booed by the crowd, but he's getting
06:53cheered by me. Gamble, Gamble, Gamble, Gamble, Gamble, Gamble. Holding the belt that isn't his is
07:00disgusting, that's what it is. Without any further ado, please welcome his opponent. It's the Clash of the
07:06the Comics Champion. It's Phil Kilwang.
07:10Great ovation for Phil Kilwang and what an entrance this is.
07:19That's how you be friends to Asians, Nish. It's not just having diabetes, it's knowing about the culture.
07:26Wow, this is absolutely amazing.
07:32The Dragons are going out into the crowd now. This is a fantastic celebration. Oh, there's a reveal!
07:42It's Wang all along!
07:44Yes!
07:46I've got to say the suit looks good.
07:52It's an astonishing combination of gold lame and a homage to the iconic Game of Death Bruce Lee suit.
08:02Wowee!
08:04Wang and Bullitt have already looked eyes on each other.
08:06It looks like an absolute human.
08:08The Bullitt is heading down to Phil Wang.
08:10There's already a swing.
08:12Phil Wang takes out Bullitt in the front row.
08:14Wang's taking out Bullitt.
08:16He means business.
08:18We're locked in for a good one at the Apollo.
08:20You have to feel like Gamble was banking on Bullitt to protect him.
08:24Wang sparing up the W's.
08:26Gamble looks concerned.
08:28Henchman down.
08:30Only Gamble left.
08:32Wang slides into the ring.
08:34And Gamble's already on him.
08:36Ring that bell!
08:37Ring that bell or the baking tray, you choose.
08:39So ring the bell.
08:41Oh, we're into this.
08:42Okay, right.
08:43Gamble's into his business.
08:45Phil Wang in that yellow, shiny jumpsuit, looking like Bruce Lee on Route 1.
08:50Lovely start, Phil Wang.
08:51Oh, Phil Wang.
08:52A big slam from Wang.
08:53Can someone call it for a reference to Steve?
08:55There's a bullet in the floor.
08:56There's a bullet in the floor.
09:00Really pumped crowd here at the Apollo for our main event.
09:04Gamble's struggling harder than he was in the Robert De Niro off-menu.
09:09You can tell Phil wants this.
09:11Look at his face.
09:12That's steamy determination.
09:13Double clothesline from Phil Wang.
09:14He's been thinking about this for over a year.
09:16Ooh!
09:17Gamble's airborne!
09:18Oh, Gamble is up!
09:20Gamble is down!
09:22Oh!
09:25Like he weighed nothing.
09:26We all know he used to be quite a big guy.
09:28Fell Wang on the ropes as Bullet looks on.
09:31Throwing up the Ws.
09:32Come on, Ed!
09:33Everyone in here wants Phil to win.
09:35Bullet trying to cheer him.
09:37Everyone enjoying Ed getting a bit of this.
09:39Of the ropes from Wang.
09:40That medicine over the top of Rose Gamble.
09:44Straight into the arms of Bullet.
09:46That's not the medicine Gamble needs.
09:48We all know it's insulin.
09:49Shut up!
09:50Crowd shouting Wang, I think.
09:51Unless they are shouting Wang.
09:52Wang's now just to do.
09:53Wang's now!
09:54Takes the belt out!
09:55Bullet to the floor!
09:56He passed it off and turned intellect through those Wangs.
09:57Bullet!
09:58Bullet!
09:59Bullet, please help me!
10:00Shut up!
10:01Shut up!
10:02Shut up!
10:03I got it, my hair!
10:04Oh, no!
10:05Eyes!
10:06Ed Gamble pathetically asking Bullet to help him.
10:07Oh, they're here to together!
10:08That was absolutely brutal.
10:09Goodness me.
10:10Phil Wang all over Gamble here.
10:12Wang is having such a good time, we can see his nipples.
10:14Oh, right in the tit.
10:15Oh, an eye rake to Phil Wang.
10:16And it's reversing.
10:17It's time for those nipples.
10:18oh they're here to together that was absolutely brutal goodness me
10:25phil wang all over gamble here wang is having such a good time we can see his nipples
10:36right in the tit oh an eye rake to phil wang and it's reversal it's time for those nipples
10:45to be squeezed oh who's telling us to shush the erect nipples had presented too easy a target oh
10:53that was clumsy that was careless you've got to say once again the refereeing standard has
10:58been a bit i sort of forget the referees here that's what they say about the best referees
11:05they don't do anything let's put it on the outside of the ring referee sort this out
11:15uh-oh gamble's gone to the top what are you talking about and i wonder if he's oh he's removed
11:20it shut up he's taking it out yeah you stay back here it's distracting oh my goodness
11:30wang doesn't know that the belt's removed back in the ring and gamble seizes an opportunity
11:39sidewalk slam if you carry a baby like that social services will have it off you
11:45gamble stamping on wang this is absolutely brutal
11:51come on ed come on phil oh i can tell he's weak he's been hurt
11:56yes now they're shouting but it seems to be energizing him
12:03phil wang is our little baby and we need him to survive
12:05it's to the tune of gold labubu which i love it's to the tune of gold labubu this crowd really has
12:17one melodic gear but what a great song it is it's a fantastic song i'm not going to dispute that with
12:22them coming up total chaos in the ring he's gone down the refs out cold the rules have vanished and
12:30ed and phil are tearing each other apart
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