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00:00You don't want Bailen to go communicate for you every time there's a concern.
00:06How do you feel about having a conversation with Alan?
00:12Your mom and I want to celebrate your engagement.
00:15Like an engagement party?
00:16Absolutely.
00:17So where is this party going to be?
00:19We're in the backyard.
00:21This is definitely Alan's way of saying,
00:24hey, the backyard could definitely be a wedding spot for you guys.
00:27So how was your trip to Roanoke?
00:30We went and saw a wedding venue close to them.
00:33Yeah.
00:34Okay.
00:35Colin invited them.
00:36I wish my parents were a little bit more involved because I feel like Colin inviting his family
00:41to the wedding venue that they toured stripped them of it a little bit,
00:44of experiencing that with their daughter.
00:50Hi.
00:51Hi.
00:53Today's Van Collins' engagement party.
00:55You're bald, Chuck.
00:57Just in case you weren't aware already.
00:59And it's looking pretty amazing.
01:00This is so beautiful.
01:02And if they want to have a wedding in the backyard,
01:04I would build ten times better than this to have these guys have an amazing day.
01:08I mean, I could really picture the wedding back here.
01:11Could you?
01:12Yeah.
01:13We have to announce our wedding venue,
01:15and I'm second-guessing it.
01:18Where we will be having our wedding
01:20will be at...
01:23JV does crystal meth with Joe Biden.
01:38Okay, keep talking.
01:39I'm just...
01:39Where we will be having our wedding
01:43will be at...
01:45An amazing, beautiful venue on top of a mountain,
01:57and it's a place where Balin feels the most comfortable to take freely.
02:03It's beautiful.
02:04I have Tourette's Syndrome, stupid.
02:06What mountain?
02:06Well, we'll be there.
02:07What mountain will we be on?
02:08It's close to Roanoke.
02:10Okay.
02:10Near my family.
02:12We're happy that we found the right one.
02:14We have finally decided where we're going to get married.
02:17The seclusion.
02:20Holy crap.
02:21Oh, this is phenomenal.
02:23This venue is a gorgeous private wedding venue
02:27on top of a flipping mountain.
02:30We did consider the backyard today as an option.
02:32I didn't know that it could look like that.
02:34It transformed overnight.
02:37But we just couldn't deny the views.
02:40It's so opened,
02:41and I feel really comfortable taking freely there.
02:45As excited as we are,
02:46I'm still a little bit worried
02:47that I might have disappointed my dad.
02:50Thank you guys for coming.
02:54Okay, thank God.
02:56How's your dad doing?
02:57Is your dad holding it together?
02:58No, mom.
02:59We're out of here in there.
03:00Hey, congratulations.
03:02I'm finally picking one.
03:03Yep, thank you.
03:04I think they made a perfect choice for this venue
03:07because they picked one in Roanoke,
03:09closer to Colin's family, our family.
03:11Congratulations, dear.
03:14I'm not losing a son.
03:16I'm gaining a dog.
03:17And so, um,
03:19I'm just so, so blessed
03:20to have both of them in my life.
03:24I do think Al must be a little bit disappointed
03:27that they didn't choose this as their venue.
03:31And ironically,
03:32I was kind of coming around a little bit myself,
03:36especially after seeing his idea
03:39of the engagement party come to fruition.
03:42I need to know more.
03:43But definitely more questions than answers
03:46in terms of the venue announcement.
03:49Hey, Dad.
03:55How you doing, bae?
03:56I just came to tell you that
03:57it meant a lot to me today.
03:59Everything that you did.
04:00The alpacas.
04:01Oh, my gosh.
04:01I didn't expect the alpacas.
04:03Like, I mean,
04:04you put me in full-blown happiness tears.
04:06What means more to me
04:07is...
04:07Dick of a bitch.
04:09You set up for yourself
04:11and you're brave enough to say,
04:12I made my own decision
04:15and this is what I want.
04:16Right?
04:17And that you didn't worry about my feelings.
04:19You worry about your own.
04:20Right?
04:21Well, I do worry about yours.
04:23Well, listen,
04:24mine are in the background.
04:26Think of it like this, okay?
04:32As a dad or as a parent,
04:36I've walked beside you
04:39and I've watched you
04:40grow into your own person.
04:43That is far more important to me
04:45than being something
04:48that I want you to be.
04:49I want you to be you.
04:51I want you to be
04:52all the things
04:54that you dream about.
04:55Don't be the things
04:56that I want you to be.
04:57You be the things for you, okay?
05:00I am very excited
05:01that you guys picked
05:03an amazing spot.
05:04Me too.
05:05And I'm looking forward
05:06to being there, okay?
05:08I'm excited to show you guys pictures
05:10because it's really beautiful.
05:12Honey, honey,
05:13you mean the world to me, okay?
05:15Enjoy the rest of your day.
05:16Stop crying, all right?
05:17Stop crying.
05:20It's a huge relief
05:21feeling my dad's reassurance.
05:24All right, let's go back
05:24and see all your buddies
05:25that travel a long way, okay?
05:27Come on.
05:27Even though today went well,
05:29me and Colin are still trying
05:31to talk to my dad
05:31about boundaries going forward.
05:33It's an uncomfortable conversation
05:34to be had,
05:36but it's something
05:36that needs to happen
05:37for me and Colin
05:37to start building
05:38our relationship
05:39and life together.
05:40We just need to
05:41find the right time.
05:43Okay, thank you for having us.
05:45Congrats once again.
05:46Thank you for coming.
05:48So now that we have
05:52the wedding venue
05:53out of the way,
05:55really it's pedal to the floor
05:58and we are...
05:59Pedal to the middle, bitch.
06:00...going full speed
06:02into this wedding planning.
06:04See you, Travis.
06:04Thank you for coming.
06:05We only have 11 months
06:06until our wedding
06:07and there's a lot of stuff
06:09to do in a short amount of time.
06:10We've got a lot of vendors
06:11to find out.
06:12Hi, Sunny T.
06:13So are you ready for this?
06:16Are you ready for this?
06:17Are you ready for this?
06:25Yeah?
06:26Take a up the ass.
06:29I'd rather not.
06:30I love you.
06:47Throw that in the laundry room, please.
06:51Nah.
06:52And then come stand over here.
06:53I'm going to have you dry these.
06:57Maybe Burke will dry the dishes.
06:59Or a party, huh?
07:00I think yesterday's party
07:02was a major success.
07:03When I went to bed,
07:04there were still things going on.
07:05Like, the bonfire is still
07:07smoldering outside.
07:08And since the party went so late,
07:10we didn't get a chance
07:11to discuss the wedding venue
07:12with Bay and Colin.
07:14But we're hoping
07:14that we get more information soon.
07:17Dad, how do you feel
07:18about the wedding
07:18not being in the backyard?
07:21I feel a little bit of relief
07:22that I don't have
07:23six months' worth of projects
07:24to work on.
07:25Like, just to do this
07:25was a lot of work.
07:26It's a big commitment.
07:27That doesn't mean
07:28that you didn't want to do it,
07:29but now you can be like,
07:30okay, they found something
07:31that's better.
07:32I mean, we still need to, like,
07:33look more into it or whatever.
07:35She sent me the link
07:36to the venue.
07:37Do you want to see it?
07:38Oh, so she gave you the name.
07:39I was waiting for the text.
07:41I was like,
07:42are we going to get a name
07:43to this place?
07:44Mountain Top.
07:45Mountain Top Venues.
07:45I'm not scared to listen.
07:47Okay.
07:48To me, time frame.
07:49That would give me an idea,
07:50like, what month
07:51or to be picked a day.
07:53Let's kind of start at that.
07:55We know nothing about budget.
07:57We know nothing
07:58if this is a five-course meal
07:59or if this is a buffet.
08:00We don't know
08:01if we're inviting the great aunts
08:02or if we're cutting the line
08:03at brothers and sisters.
08:05We really know nothing.
08:09My God.
08:10This is, like,
08:11where she'd, like,
08:11get ready and hang out afterwards.
08:14Is this where the ceremony happens?
08:15It has to be.
08:16Is this the ceremony?
08:18Wait, is this where Colin
08:19would write in on the stallion?
08:21Okay.
08:22I'm going to bet you
08:23that price tag right there
08:24is gigantic.
08:25I am kind of taken back,
08:27like, wow.
08:28Oh, my gosh.
08:30That's nice.
08:31It's pivotal
08:32in their pending marriage
08:33that they learn
08:35how to budget
08:36and save money now.
08:37The venue is stunning,
08:39but I'm thinking,
08:40cha-ching.
08:42Yeah.
08:43So now that the venue's
08:44finally been revealed,
08:46and obviously,
08:47you and Balen
08:47have already talked about,
08:48like, you being made of honor
08:49and whatever,
08:50how much do you feel
08:51like you can do
08:52being there?
08:53I can't just drive down the road
08:55and see you, you know?
08:55So it's kind of like,
08:56I feel bad
08:57that I can't be here sometimes.
08:58I don't want to miss
08:59dress shopping with Bae,
09:01and I don't want to miss
09:01picking her veil out
09:03in a pair of shoes,
09:04and I don't want to miss that.
09:06So it's like...
09:07I would never want to miss
09:08Balen's pivotal moments
09:11in her life.
09:11Never.
09:11But with my schedule
09:14and anxiety and OCD
09:15and traveling
09:16and coming back here
09:17and unpacking
09:17and doing all the things
09:19and then going back
09:20and getting back
09:20into my real life,
09:22I don't know.
09:22It's 500 things.
09:24Like, I just can't
09:25shut my mind off.
09:26You shouldn't have
09:27to miss it.
09:27Yeah, I wouldn't...
09:28As far as I'm concerned,
09:29that's not an option.
09:30You missing it
09:31is not an option.
09:32But the reality is
09:33that this is really
09:34difficult for you.
09:36I'm super thankful
09:37that Sammy was able
09:39to make it here
09:40for the engagement party.
09:41Although, I feel like
09:44it's going to be
09:45a minute before
09:46we see her again.
09:47Even though she wants
09:48to be here,
09:49she's a little bit
09:50into kind of like
09:52a dark place
09:52with some of her
09:54anxious thoughts
09:55and OCD,
09:56and I think that
09:57she really needs
09:58to work on herself
09:59right now.
10:00Maybe for a little while
10:02the ends won't
10:03justify the means.
10:05Seeing the venue,
10:06though, made me...
10:06made me excited
10:07because I at least
10:08have a blueprint
10:09for sakes.
10:10Oh, my gosh.
10:11I know
10:12we're all just
10:13grateful to hear
10:14a location
10:15and a place.
10:17I don't want
10:18to overwhelm
10:18Balen.
10:19I do know
10:20how quickly
10:21Balen can get
10:22overstressed
10:23and overwhelmed
10:24and all the overs,
10:26and that can lead
10:27down a slippery slope
10:28of not good.
10:30But the clock
10:30is ticking.
10:31It's really time
10:32that we start
10:33to talk through
10:34a few things,
10:35wetting,
10:36so that we can
10:37get a jump
10:37on some stuff.
10:43We're in therapy
10:44right now
10:45discussing Dad.
10:46Oh, gosh.
10:47Colin really
10:48wants a relationship
10:49with Dad,
10:50and he's scared.
10:53I know they have
10:55the best intentions
10:56for us.
10:57However,
10:58I'm gonna make
10:59whatever decision
11:00I'm gonna make,
11:00and I don't care
11:01what anybody
11:02else has to say.
11:17Come to me.
11:24The engagement party
11:26at my parents' house
11:26yesterday
11:27was genuinely
11:27so incredible.
11:29The alpaca surprise
11:30Sammy
11:31and all my friends
11:32making it,
11:33the excitement
11:33I got from my dad
11:35with our wedding venue.
11:37However,
11:38yesterday's high
11:38has been tanked
11:39after reading
11:40some comments
11:41on social media.
11:42I got a couple,
11:43and what I mean
11:44by a couple,
11:45a lot of couple,
11:46of not nice comments
11:48towards my body.
11:52Social media is hard,
11:53especially when you're
11:53reading comments
11:54and those type of things,
11:55and it's like,
11:56oh, my God,
11:56I had no idea
11:57you're pregnant.
11:58Congratulations.
11:59What?
11:59I'm sorry.
12:00There was never
12:01an announcement.
12:03That's not happening.
12:06Hey, what are you doing?
12:08Laundry.
12:08Fun.
12:09Yeah, fun times.
12:12Loved these shorts,
12:14but it just won't fit,
12:15and neither will those.
12:18What's going on?
12:20Nothing fits.
12:22My jeans don't fit.
12:23My jean shorts don't fit.
12:25Is it from the new medication
12:26you've been trying out?
12:27Is weight gain one of the side effects?
12:30Yep.
12:31The number one side effect.
12:33On top of, like,
12:34being, like,
12:35scared to go to the gym
12:36because of my germs.
12:37I've gained 18 pounds
12:41that I cannot lose.
12:43It's definitely frustrating
12:44because I really do like this medication.
12:48Just throw them away.
12:48I'm never going to fit in them.
12:50This medication is intended
12:52to treat my mood.
12:53I feel better.
12:55I sleep better.
12:57But at the end of the day,
12:58with the weight gain,
12:58it's definitely affecting
12:59my self-confidence.
13:01Do I keep these?
13:02Yes.
13:03So how do you think
13:04yesterday was
13:05with the whole engagement party
13:06and everything?
13:07I think it went lovely.
13:09I'm just really excited
13:10that your parents were there.
13:11Speaking of my parents,
13:13my mom told me
13:14that my dad had about
13:16four or five glasses
13:17of the spiked lemonade.
13:20That's hilarious
13:20because he probably
13:21hasn't had that amount
13:24of alcohol in his life
13:26since he was probably 18.
13:28Them explosions!
13:31So, yeah.
13:33He had no idea.
13:34He didn't feel anything
13:35or anything.
13:37What comes next?
13:39Like, with steps
13:39in wedding planning.
13:41Save the dates,
13:43RSVPs.
13:44When do we pick out the cake?
13:45I don't know.
13:47I am very stressed
13:49between wedding planning
13:51budgeting
13:53and pretty much everything
13:54that comes with it
13:56and with that
13:57makes my OCD worse.
13:59I'm seeing my mom later
14:00so it's probably a good time
14:01to gauge her thoughts
14:02because I'm already overwhelmed.
14:07I really want to get in shape
14:08before the wedding.
14:09And I know that I want to get in shape
14:11before the wedding as well.
14:12Why don't we find an avenue
14:16or a way that we can work out together
14:18without you touching gym equipment?
14:21You suck.
14:22If you do some research
14:23and find a class
14:25that you want to do,
14:26I'll do it with you.
14:29Okay.
14:29And that's a scary statement
14:30because I don't know
14:32what the hell you're going to find.
14:34I have a great idea
14:36for a workout we can do together.
14:37Yeah, that means
14:38it's probably going to be
14:39something like Pilates
14:40or...
14:41Something more exciting.
14:42I'm sure.
14:43Dick.
14:45Nowhere we're waterboarding
14:47in a pool.
14:48I don't know if I want to get punky
15:03a black tux.
15:04No, we got to get him pink.
15:08Oh my God.
15:09Hi.
15:09Thanks for inviting me
15:10to shop with you.
15:13Look at the sock burglar.
15:14Okay, what are we doing?
15:15I'm shopping for Tootie,
15:16Punky, and for life.
15:17I'm definitely craving
15:18a little bit more involvement
15:20in the wedding planning preparations
15:22and this is not exactly
15:25what I had in mind.
15:27We're getting a lot of dog clothes.
15:29No, you're on a budget.
15:30You're getting married
15:31so you're on a budget.
15:33Do they have shopping carts?
15:35Oh, yes, of course.
15:36Do you not have
15:37a wedding budget?
15:38I have a toy list.
15:41Bailen.
15:41Okay, do I put the llamas back?
15:43You're worrying me.
15:44I know you want
15:45the most expensive wedding
15:46in the whole world
15:47and we're filling our cart
15:47with dog toys.
15:49Fluff's going to love that.
15:50What do you think I need to do?
15:52Mom, I don't know.
15:53I don't know either.
15:54I'm this way.
15:55I don't comfort.
15:55What about a wedding coordinator?
15:57I know it's like an extra cost
15:58for a wedding coordinator
15:59but somebody that knows
16:01what they're doing.
16:01What are you doing?
16:02This truly is not
16:04the best place
16:05to discuss the wedding.
16:06Nothing wedding
16:07is going to be accomplished
16:08here today.
16:09I think either one,
16:11she's completely clueless
16:12or two,
16:15she would just rather
16:16not think about it.
16:18Oh my God, they spin!
16:19What do you think the reality
16:22is of Sammy coming back
16:24to helping me plan
16:25my wedding in person?
16:26Oh, it's not happening
16:27anytime soon.
16:28No, she's not in a good spot
16:30with traveling
16:31because her anxiety
16:32is a little bit ediped.
16:33that and I don't want
16:34to stress her out.
16:35I think what's important
16:36is for you to decide.
16:40Marlene Dooley.
16:42Them explosions.
16:42How you want to utilize people.
16:44Like sending out
16:46and making save the dates.
16:47There's so much.
16:48Like I know that that's next
16:49and I know that I'm going
16:50to need help writing down
16:51everyone's addresses.
16:53Yes, I can help you with that.
16:54But you can't do save the dates,
16:56Bela, until you have a guest list.
16:57Until the guest list is 100% final?
16:59Picking out dog dresses.
17:01You need to have the numbers.
17:03We'll back away.
17:03You need to have like
17:04the numbers situated.
17:07It's super, super important
17:08that I have my mom help me
17:10with all the ins and outs
17:12of wedding planning
17:13because it can get stressful
17:15and overwhelming
17:16and those type of things
17:17make my tics worse.
17:18I could see fluffing on
17:20on this for like six years.
17:21Put that back.
17:22What the?
17:22Is this a leg?
17:24So to be able to have her time
17:26means the world to me.
17:28Can you just start
17:29with one?
17:30No.
17:31So what's the latest
17:32with couples counseling?
17:34What?
17:35Nothing.
17:35Wait, bad?
17:36Nothing.
17:37What's going on?
17:38We're just having
17:39some conversations.
17:41I'm confused.
17:42Are you acting weird?
17:44Um.
17:46I'm reluctant to tell my mom
17:48that dad's been brought up
17:49in therapy because
17:50I just don't know
17:51what she's going to say
17:52or what she's going to think.
17:54Are you acting weird?
17:56Because we're in therapy
17:58right now discussing dad.
17:59Oh gosh.
18:00Why are you discussing dad?
18:02We're working on
18:04coming up with a way
18:05to bring up to dad
18:08that me and Colin
18:12kind of want to like
18:14take things our own way
18:16if that makes any sense.
18:17No, it doesn't.
18:19Help your mom out.
18:20I've been putting off
18:26talking to my parents
18:27because things were so good
18:28at the engagement party.
18:30But I know it's better
18:30to rip that band-aid off now
18:32and tell my mom first
18:34to see what she thinks.
18:36I just hope I'm not
18:37making things worse for Colin
18:38by sharing this with my mom.
18:39Me and Colin
18:48kind of want to like
18:49take things our own way
18:52if that makes any sense.
18:53No, it doesn't.
18:54Help your mom out.
18:55We had initially
18:59presented the idea
19:01of premarital counseling
19:02to Bay and Colin
19:03to work on their relationship.
19:05So it has been
19:05a little bit surprising
19:06to find out
19:07that they have been talking
19:08about Colin
19:09and Alan's relationship.
19:12Colin really
19:13wants a relationship
19:14with dad,
19:15like that bond
19:16and that relationship
19:17with him.
19:18And he's scared.
19:19He's scared.
19:20He's scared
19:21after the initial...
19:23I mean,
19:23who wouldn't be...
19:25I do feel kind of bad
19:26that Colin
19:27still feels that way.
19:28And I don't want him to...
19:29And your dad does not
19:30want him to feel
19:30any kind of way.
19:32Do you think that
19:33we should even bring it up?
19:35Honestly.
19:36I don't know
19:36that it necessarily
19:37has to be
19:38my dad, dad, dad.
19:40I think it needs to be
19:42boundaries in general.
19:44And I think that
19:45we want to do
19:45everything that we can do
19:46to make him feel
19:47comfortable.
19:48You and Colin
19:49come to the house.
19:51Barbecue.
19:52It'll just be
19:53one more step
19:54of showing him.
19:55You're done.
19:56You know?
19:56Like, okay,
19:57I don't want to get hurt.
19:59I don't think my dad's
20:00overstepping by chiming in.
20:01He just wants
20:02what's best for his kids
20:03and wants to make sure
20:05that we're all
20:06taken care of.
20:07However,
20:08I love Colin
20:08and I want to support Colin
20:10and I understand
20:11where he's coming from
20:12with my dad.
20:14Thanks for taking
20:15those from me.
20:16Do you want me
20:17to take this?
20:18No.
20:18Your dad can have
20:19a lighthearted conversation
20:21and be like,
20:22Colin, like,
20:24we're good.
20:24You're loved.
20:25Knowing the ways
20:26that Colin and my dad
20:27have clashed before,
20:28I would just like it
20:29to be less intense
20:32and have to just
20:34two people
20:35having a conversation.
20:37But I have no idea
20:38how the conversation
20:38is going to go.
20:40This is making me
20:41really anxious
20:41to think about.
20:42Yeah.
20:44Tip, tip, tip, tip,
20:44don't open your tap
20:45or just reach out.
20:45Are we ready to go?
20:46Okay, yes.
20:47Jeez, then.
20:48Okay, where do we go?
20:50Happy hell in that day.
20:51Yeehaw!
20:52okay this is it turn left okay we're here where are we yes you're just gonna have to find out
21:12when we get inside sweetheart i have no idea where balen's taking me today
21:19dickville it's supposed it's a god colin dickville okay your mom goes to dickville i'm sorry marlene
21:30balen and i both want to get in better shape for the wedding this is supposed to be a workout class
21:36but knowing her it's not something like pole dancing or something right
21:41i'm not bowl dancing so absolutely not i just saw a sign that said yoga please no
21:49don't worry it's a sport you've already done and i'm sure you're really good at it
21:54somehow that doesn't make me feel any better at all
21:58ride the horse like dude we're already late let's go
22:03ride the horse
22:05what the is this
22:09ride the horse
22:11okay everyone so we're gonna start with a warm-up get our body loose
22:18we're riding horse heads on a stick how is this a workout oh it's a legit sport it's a sport i don't
22:25saw it on social media there is a u.s championship for this think about it horseback riding is like the
22:32same thing but we are the horse so instead of the horse jumping over the barrels we are jumping over
22:37the barrels so technically it's a great exercise for us instead of horsies
22:40going to a hobby horse class is different than going to the gym with my ocd because when i go to
22:57the gym i have a specific fear of germs but germs on the equipment germs not being wiped down we all have
23:03our own horse so compared going to the gym it's one thing you're touching versus 20 things you're touching
23:09what exactly is this so you know doing fitness a long time we're gonna have a cardio workout but
23:15it's inspired by the hobby horse so i learned about colin riding a hobby horse around his house naked
23:23actually from his mom she showed me a photo i just did it butt ass naked before every shower i just
23:31thought you would like it and it would bring back memories
23:33everybody if we can line up in rows please you get in the middle okay i'm getting in the middle
23:40ride the horse today we're gonna have a fitness class inspired by hobby horses we're gonna go over
23:47some movements the walk the trot dick moo bitch as we raise our knee up our toes are pointed downward
23:55keep going couple more times bag of dicks i'm watching did i mention i have tourettes anybody
24:01i feel really comfortable in the hobby horse class just really nice to be able to tick and not be judged
24:12or looked at or stared at or talked about i mean we're all standing here holding horse heads so i feel
24:17like these people are willing to go with anything right here boom toes pointed downward
24:23try to look up right don't look at the horse this horse yeah keep going six four four yeah it's
24:31pretty humiliating to be in the front row with a stick between your legs and a horse on the other end
24:40yeehaw all right next we're gonna go from a canter to a flying change similar to a skip
24:45got it got it yeah ride the horse
24:50i was taking it serious it's called a workout class it's called you work out in the workout class
24:56i was worked out how many laps are you doing i'm having a flashback
25:00we're gonna go to gallop jump jump jump jump
25:08ooh
25:11grace look at that
25:13oh i don't know sweet
25:18all right everyone that is class let me collect the horses
25:22i don't think that going to hobby horse classes on a consistent basis is going to help you lose weight
25:34i guarantee i probably burned less than 100 calories in that class did everyone have fun
25:39yeah
25:42i'm gonna catch my breath for a second
25:44so what'd you think
25:47ride the horse yeah i mean it was something that i'll never forget i can tell you that uh-huh
25:55i would probably not take this class again just because there's a lot of running all past but it's
26:03fine i'll think long and hard next time before we pick another sport so speaking of things that we
26:11don't want to do we still need to have that conversation with your father so are we still
26:17gonna have that conversation or no i don't know
26:23i have a feeling it's not gonna end well but my mom has asked me how couples therapy is going
26:30and i told her that dad has come up how'd that conversation go just about as well as i thought
26:39it would be i mean i think it's okay to discuss something about what happens in couples counseling
26:48but when it's something like this that we've kind of went back and forth on and it's kind of a big
26:54deal and it involves her parents i just wish she would have like brought it up to me first or
26:59something i know they have the best intentions for us however you just don't want to hear you
27:08should do this job i'm just saying it's hard to hear from somebody that you should do the same thing
27:14over and over again no that i like if i get a job offer that doesn't have health care don't take it
27:20even if that's something that i want to do so that's hard to hear as the person that is now trying
27:26to take over the reins from him and i don't care who it upsets i'm going to do what's best for me
27:31and what i think is best for the both of us that's it i'm headed into a completely different career
27:38path for me outside of the military and i wish i had like their trust more and to be able to make
27:46these types of decisions so i think that it's important that we all sit down and have a
27:53conversation together just so we can talk through this at their house okay i mean i'm fine with
28:02having a low-key conversation all right but i'm gonna make whatever decision i'm gonna make
28:08and i don't care what anybody else has to say
28:10they've got to figure out finance budget and i think that we need to like confront that head
28:17on and i know that he still has some feelings about yours and his relationship i'm not surprised
28:24that i've come up in their therapy sessions but i am curious to know why
28:40you're almost done oh you're done yeah it looks good stuff they should be here any moment i think
28:47did you just talk to her do you get a text yeah they're on their way yeah she was like who's all
28:51going to be there and i was like uh just your dad and i because the boys are golfing and beck's
28:55had a sleepover holla balen and colin are coming over tonight to talk about the wedding planning
29:01and also some things that have come up in therapy it's kind of actually nice that the boys aren't here
29:06because like you can talk we can talk i mean i know obviously the intention is to talk about
29:13wedding stuff a lot because we've got we got to start this i mean this is pathetic they've got to
29:18figure out finance budget like i don't even know there's just a lot so i'm excited you really think
29:23there's a budget well i think that's the point to ask some questions and find you already said words
29:27that probably if they've never heard before plan budget talking with balen at the pet shop made me
29:36realize that she definitely is in a little bit over her head with this wedding planning we know that
29:43they decided on a venue and therefore they picked a date which is next year and that is only 11 months
29:48away that's not a lot of time they are going to need a little more help planning this event
29:55somebody like me but help us money too yeah that's true so there add that to the list
30:02i'm excited but i'm nervous too because it's like let's not be unrealistic like let's really like
30:08buckle down with all this and make sure that you're in the right realm with everything if maybe
30:14you're not now's a good time to pivot you know and be like okay well maybe that won't work thank
30:19you for bringing that up kind of a thing yeah and i know that they've even had some things brought
30:27up you know since they started the premarital counseling so i know they even have some stuff
30:34like if we even make it to that topic i know that he still has some feelings about yours and his
30:41relationship and whatever and i think that we need to like confront that head on
30:49i hadn't told alan until now that he had came up in their therapy session because i don't want his
30:56feelings to be prematurely hurt when maybe it's not as big of a deal as it would come across as being
31:05it's kind of unsettling but i'm not surprised that i've come up in their therapy sessions
31:11but i am curious to know why nobody's here like we can we can have a private conversation because
31:17the kids are not around willing to talk about okay are you nervous at all to go to my parents
31:28this is a conversation that's needed to been had for a long time we've needed to have this conversation
31:36i think it's really important for there to be boundaries we're about to get married and you don't
31:46want to wait and put it off and the next thing you know we have kids and it gets to a point where it's
31:54too late to be able to set those boundaries
31:56i'm gonna just say that there's been a decision that's been made regarding my career choice and i
32:07want to go into real estate so let's be honest here let's be honest i'm choosing a career field that
32:14your dad told me not to choose when we take that chance we just want you guys to be with us i wouldn't
32:21even call it a chance what would you call it i would just call it a career a decision it's not a chance
32:30when you go into something with that kind of a mindset you're going to fail every single time
32:34so how do you go into it saying that you're not going to fail
32:41so what happens if you fail it's not a chance
32:44i don't know we're taking a chance exactly we can fail at this conversation i know we can
32:58it's really important to me that colin feels heard and seen and understood it just feels like
33:03an impossible balance to deal with right now though between him and my parents it feels very
33:08overwhelming to always be in the middle you got what you're going to say figured out sure all right
33:15here we go we're finally here my god
33:19are they bringing their dogs i have no idea hi hi hi it is quiet here where's two we didn't bring them
33:37because we have to go all the way back no doggies where i'm not trying to say your dad loves toot more
33:43than he loves you but your dad loves you no i'll just i made her made her a hamburger alan and i don't
33:54always see eye to eye we have different approaches different opinions on things every decision that i
34:00make it's hey you shouldn't do that or hey that's risky or hey like this ultimately at the end of the
34:06day like i'm gonna make whatever decision that i think is best for my life regardless of what anybody
34:12else has to say about it so i'm glad you came because we all four of us haven't had the
34:20opportunity to talk more about the wedding-ish plans this is so good what are some of the things
34:27that you guys have discussed or do you like i mean you have like notepads for the wedding yeah
34:33you're bald the only thing that we have we need to like 100 finish before the save the dates which
34:40would be like our next steps is the guest list because we've nailed in the coffin at least 120
34:47people 120 people that's a bad term to use we nailed in the coffin yeah nailed 120 people in the coffin
34:56dick do you have a budget have you looked at each other and said yeah hey this is this is the amount
35:02of money that we want to spend and how can we find a way to stay within that budget whatever it is
35:08double it and then double that that's that's probably what it'll be i'm not surprised at all
35:13that my parents are hitting us with a bunch of wedding questions we're still in the dark about a
35:17lot of this so they're great questions but we have no idea how to answer them we have sat down and talked
35:25about how much we want to put in okay we haven't sat down and thought about how much we want to
35:29individually spend on like florists and makeup and hair because i've thought about getting one of my
35:33friends to do my makeup like if it comes down to getting my makeup done and getting all my bridesmaids
35:38done is fifteen thousand dollars i'm not going to pay for that when all of us can do our by all
35:42means we'll get their five thousand dollars what is this reconstructive surgery well that would be
35:48your god that you would pay how the that would be the part you guys pay and then the horse for colin
35:55would come out of your loan i feel like we're kind of like working like backwards like we're
36:02figuring out all like the small stuff okay we don't have any of like the major stuff like the guest list
36:07or we probably do we've been discussing on whether we should get a wedding planner or not oh and we
36:12were kind of waiting i think after tonight you probably should be on a yes checkbox okay because
36:18i'm feeling the help us for you guys like this i'm not feeling no stress yet if you just don't
36:24think about it if you just don't think about it i love that technique yeah i'm learning in therapy
36:28it's called procrastinating no no no it doesn't go away it just gets bigger something i'm very good at
36:36you are yup yeah yeah oh my gosh speaking of therapy speaking of therapy hold your dad
36:46a little bit of what you said to me in the yeah where am i at in therapy
36:54i don't want to tell my dad that my dad's been brought up in therapy
36:59i'm honestly freaking out because i have no idea what my parents are going to think when we finally
37:04put our feet down about boundaries especially with colin's career i'm worried that this might go
37:10really really bad what's the deal what am i doing uh so
37:23in therapy we were talking about stressors and knowing that like whatever decision that i make
37:28is not only affecting me but her it's a long road to that dead end this is why i hate confrontation
37:35because it feels like there's so much to lose if this doesn't work out what are you going to do
37:46we're really hoping that the wedding planner can help us with one
37:49everything i want alpacas alpacas a horse have you guys ever done a queso fountain a queso fountain
37:57part of our job is educating them so that we can be like okay this is what reality is in thinking
38:05about your budget you're not going to love what i have to tell you
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