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  • 2 days ago
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00:00Typhoon number two will be making landfall in the Kanto region this afternoon and remain for the next month, sustaining its intensity. Exercise caution when after all...
00:10You're telling me if Santa falls in love with a girl he has a heart attack? Hell of a way to go if you ask me. Does he croak when he realizes he's in love? Or when they kiss for the first time? Or when they bone?
00:24Thanks for the imagery. Real tacky. Look, I heard talk. I don't know details.
00:30I learned he's pretty much immortal from that fight I had with him. If he can only die under certain conditions, that explains a lot.
00:38Are you sure you don't have any more intel on him, Yagi-Yuda? Because next time, if we don't catch him, we're all going to get fired for sure.
00:46And this ain't the time to be looking for work in Japan.
00:50Swear, if I knew anything, I'd tell you. I'm the only one who knows about Santa's alter ego, and I'm not letting that intel go for free.
01:00Man, this typhoon's a big one.
01:04Heads up, kid.
01:07I'm coming.
01:08No once in a while.
01:25I'll see you next time.
01:55I'll see you next time.
02:25I'll see you next time.
02:55Okay, that's it. I'm going on a diet.
02:58What was that all about? Are you nuts?
03:02I'm not, but I figured something out.
03:05Santa's not allowed to have a sex drive!
03:07Okay, let me guess. Something happened with Fuyumura.
03:11As if. But, like, it'll be bad if something does.
03:15I'll start to feel like I'm falling for her, then I get disgusted with myself.
03:19It's because my Santa senses are taking over.
03:23Problem is, the more I get to know her, the cuter she gets.
03:27Fuyumura? You're kidding.
03:29That sounds like you already fell for her.
03:31No, I haven't.
03:32All I have is the urge to protect her like all kids.
03:36Santa can't fall in love or get married.
03:38Uh, if that's true, then what about you-know-who?
03:43Huh? Who-know-who?
03:45Dang it. I almost forgot.
03:54My fiancée.
03:59Nico Cuzzle.
04:01Hey.
04:08Gee, where'd that broom go?
04:09With no broom, I can't sweep up.
04:11I guess we'll have to bail on cleaning duty today.
04:15That right there is the reason I avoid her at all costs.
04:18Nico, wait!
04:19There's something I need to talk to you about!
04:22Seriously?
04:23We don't have anything in common enough to talk about, Kazi.
04:27Do we?
04:28Nope.
04:29Definitely not.
04:31I mean, we're in a relationship because we're state-mandated marriage partners.
04:36To fight the ultra-low birth rate in this country,
04:38we're required to get married and have kids.
04:41Which means there's absolutely, positively nothing romantic between us.
04:45At all.
04:47No, I just remembered something to talk about.
04:50Here you go.
04:51There's the 500 yen I borrowed from ya.
04:54Gum!
04:55Gross!
04:56You could totally sell it for ten times that much.
04:59You ought to thank me.
05:00I'm dropping a fat deuce, then heading for my room.
05:03Later.
05:04Hey, wait!
05:06It's not like either of us are into this marriage.
05:09Might as well make a clean break and be done with it.
05:11The thing is...
05:14This isn't right!
05:16I can't marry you!
05:20Huh?
05:20Say what?
05:21Huh?
05:22Typhoon's so loud I can't hear ya!
05:24Who's a girl supposed to take a dump in peace with all this racket?
05:26Sounds like the wind's gonna tear the building apart the way it's howlin'.
05:32Bet they'll want us to stay put.
05:34Why can't we leave if we wanna?
05:36What?
05:36Why?
05:38Well, cause it's dangerous?
05:41I'm Santa and everyone else here's a kid.
05:43I'm not allowed to fall in love, much less get married.
05:46What are you talking about?
05:49Both of us are fourteen.
05:51If we don't flirt with danger now, we won't grow up to be well-adjusted adults.
05:57Our whole lives are totally sheltered and micromanaged.
06:00But we're still young, so we're supposed to take chances, run wild, and get the grown-ups pissed at us.
06:06We'll both regret it if we don't, won't we?
06:09Come on.
06:13Niko!
06:14Cut it out!
06:15Niko's the only one who calls me Kazi.
06:29That's only cause engaged couples have to get comfortable being on a first-name basis and stuff.
06:35Come on, Kazi!
06:37Over here!
06:39My feet moved by themselves.
06:42Like I was drawn by a roar loud enough to rip Santa out of me.
06:49Niko!
06:51Both of us are fourteen.
06:53If we don't flirt with danger now, we won't grow up to be well-adjusted adults.
06:57If she only knew, I can't ever go back to being a normal fourteen-year-old.
07:02Niko!
07:04There's no way I can marry her!
07:06Here I am!
07:08Money fun!
07:08Ah!
07:15Ah!
07:17Ah, yeah!
07:19You saw it now!
07:20This is so friggin' fun!
07:21We need to go back!
07:23Only a dumbass would stay inside when there's a huge typhoon blowing!
07:27There's this rumor going around the school about how this particular typhoon's being caused by God Pop!
07:34I think that's a load of bull, though.
07:36Cause I don't believe in fantastical creatures!
07:39My reality's better than any fantasy!
07:43What?
07:44Uh-oh!
07:45I bet you were thinking what a super awesome wifey I'd be, weren't you?
07:51Huh?
07:53No!
07:54Honestly, I never would have expected you to follow me out into this weather.
07:59I love being with someone I can have fun with.
08:02I changed my mind about you.
08:05This typhoon...
08:07I think you and me are gonna make an awesome couple.
08:12It's driving Santa bonkers.
08:13Bonkers.
08:16I couldn't tell her.
08:18I can't fall in love with a kid.
08:20I'm Santa now.
08:27Still, what's the harm in this?
08:29It's fun being a kid and acting like a little turd sometimes.
08:35Just when I'd given up and thought I couldn't have her go back to being a normal kid...
08:39This stuff?
08:43This stuff makes me happy!
08:46She just threw another turd and threw it at me!
08:50This time I'm gonna get her back for it!
08:52Alright class, I'd like to introduce you to a new teacher.
08:55So, come on up!
08:57Introduce yourself.
08:57I'm Saburo Yagi-Uda.
09:05Huh?
09:06Today I joined the faculty as the Academy's new PE teacher.
09:10Really nice to meet y'all.
09:15It's him!
09:16From what I've been told, there's a shady character who's been lurking around class recently.
09:22So, I think I ought to start by focusing on teaching you self-defense.
09:27I expected him to come back for another fight.
09:31But I didn't expect this!
09:32You're a sender, one of the class reps, aren't ya?
09:35Could you stick around after school so I can run a few things by ya?
09:39Um...
09:40Sure.
09:42How in the heck did this happen?
09:45This curious object is my heart, Yagi-Uda.
09:51I'm currently using an artificial heart to stay alive and maintain my glorious youth.
09:57My heart was removed on my 90th birthday, and now I keep it preserved there.
10:02If you should fail to capture Santa one more time, this heart will be implanted into you.
10:09He's still somewhere on our campus, I presume?
10:13Yeah, most likely.
10:15I want you to work undercover in the school.
10:18And then, you will capture him before the typhoon passes.
10:24That's just a little under a month.
10:27Don't you worry.
10:28You won't die if your next attempt fails.
10:30You'll just age to a ripe 90 years.
10:36I doubt I need to tell you what's going on.
10:39I'm sure you know why I'm here.
10:41Yeah, I do.
10:43So tell me.
10:45Mr. Santa, what's the difference between young you and old you?
10:50Um, well, compared to when I'm in my younger body, I guess the biggest difference is...
10:57I learned how to put up a fight.
11:01And I'm going to put up one hell of a fight.
11:04Oh, you want to try me?
11:07All right, Jingle Boy.
11:09Let's do this!
11:10He sucked his moochie.
11:23Hey, bring the old guy back here.
11:25Great.
11:25I just decked a kid.
11:27Now I feel like such a butthole.
11:30This is the guy who shot me the other day.
11:32Yeah, but hitting kids is wrong.
11:37Wait.
11:38What the...
11:40This never happened before.
11:45The jacket's on, but I can't change.
11:48If I can't prove he's Santa, I'll get nailed to the wall for hitting a kid.
11:53I'm sorry, but your cheek.
11:56I can't fight him now.
11:57It's okay.
11:59Does this mean I'm starting to lose my Santa powers?
12:02Kazo, you got a visitor.
12:10Hey, Fuyu.
12:12What's up?
12:14From now on, you better keep your hands off my Santa.
12:19So...
12:20Plenty what?
12:23I'm curious.
12:24Have you been in love with Kazi Wong?
12:27It's Santa.
12:28Yo, I never said I was in love with anyone.
12:31Besides, a cold fish like me'd never fall for a dork like that.
12:35You like my impression?
12:36Because that's totes what you sound like.
12:41From now on, you better keep your hands off my Santa.
12:47Why did I ever tell her that?
12:50Does this mean I'm even more dependent on Santa than I thought?
12:54It's cool, girl.
12:55Kazi and I can date whoever we want till we're married.
12:58If you want to make a move, knock yourself out.
13:01The fact is...
13:03The more folks there are who are jealous of us, the hotter our relationship will be.
13:10Huh?
13:10Why'd you get up?
13:11I'm intimidating you.
13:13Oh, do people get freaked out by your height when you do that?
13:17Here's a tip.
13:18You shouldn't use that tactic when it comes to romance.
13:21You know what works?
13:22To land your average 14-year-old boy, just let him touch your boobies.
13:25Or at least see him!
13:26That's all you gotta do!
13:28And that's advice from his fiancée, for what it's worth.
13:31What I keep trying to tell you, that's not what I'm saying.
13:35There's a thing Santa and I swore we'd deal with together!
13:38Oh, you mean finding Ono, don't you?
13:43You had that dumb meeting about it and everything.
13:45I just wanted it to end so I could leave.
13:48The she's dead thing was a lie I pulled out of my ass.
13:51This butt-munch lied about that?
13:55There goes that lead.
13:57You sure did love Ono, didn't ya?
14:00Are you one of those folks who swings both ways, Fuyu?
14:03Who turns you on more?
14:05Kazi or Ono?
14:07Hard to answer that one, when I look like this.
14:12I see my reflection in the mirror, and I have no idea who I am.
14:17Kazo's body's starting to get curvy.
14:19She's got a high voice, too.
14:22I'm skinny as a rail, flat-chested, and 5-11.
14:26I got a deep voice.
14:28I spent my whole life wondering,
14:30am I a boy or a girl?
14:33A kid or a grown-up?
14:35It was only when I was with Ono that I felt like I could be myself.
14:42I miss her.
14:44I have to find her soon.
14:49Man, why can't I turn into Santa anymore?
15:07Even though you're Santa, your mind and this body are still going through puberty.
15:12You're gonna go through lots of sudden changes.
15:15Why do you think you were able to turn into Santa before?
15:19Well, I'm a descendant of Santa, and I kinda got roped into this by Fuyamura and Amaya,
15:25cause both of them need something for me as Santa Claus.
15:29The more I tried to help, the more I realized I can't handle this.
15:35He's just an ordinary kid.
15:37Watching him beat himself up makes me wanna help him.
15:41My first day working undercover, and already it's got me acting like some teacher.
15:45I tell ya, the power kids have is scary.
15:56Oh no! Are you real?
16:02Fuyamura, thank goodness.
16:05I'm never letting you go.
16:06How are you here?
16:10What happened?
16:11I'm so glad to see you.
16:13You always like to do your laundry alone at night around this time.
16:17So I knew I'd find you here.
16:20What?
16:21Something wrong?
16:23Nothing.
16:24I think...
16:25I don't know.
16:26You seem sort of different somehow.
16:31Yeah?
16:32Did something happen?
16:34You look.
16:42Fuyamura.
16:44I can see you haven't changed one bit.
16:47It's almost as if time only stood still around you.
16:51You're not an adult.
16:52And you're not a child.
16:54Like you've been set free from time and space.
16:58I wanted that endlessly free body of yours.
17:01I wanted it for so long.
17:04You could have kissed me that day, but you didn't.
17:07Why didn't you?
17:09I wanted your body, your soul, all of you.
17:12You know, I never wanted to become an adult.
17:15So what if we could make time stand still for us?
17:21I don't want to grow up in this country with how things are.
17:23So how about this instead?
17:25We can stop time for us right now.
17:28It wouldn't be hard.
17:30Please, don't be rash.
17:31Calm down.
17:33Everything's gonna be okay.
17:35Talk to me.
17:35I'll listen.
17:38Don't be rash.
17:41That's weird.
17:43What an adult thing to say.
17:45You were perfect when I left.
17:47When did you grow up?
17:49Don't you go acting all mature now.
17:52Go back to being wild and rebellious like you were.
17:55That's what I liked.
17:56That's what I loved about you.
17:58If every night you slept so peacefully, you weren't afraid of what would happen.
18:05To be honest, before you, I'd never seen a child sleep.
18:11Ever.
18:12She's still asleep.
18:18Morning.
18:20Crap.
18:21Guess I crashed hard after school yesterday.
18:24G-good morning.
18:27Um, listen.
18:28It's not healthy for a child to be passing out like that.
18:31I was a nervous wreck watching you.
18:33But I can't help it.
18:34I love sleeping.
18:36Don't worry about me.
18:37I'm okay.
18:39In this day and age, kids don't get much sleep.
18:42And they shouldn't.
18:44Since we were babies, we've gotten vaccines and were put on a special diet.
18:48So we don't really need to sleep anymore.
18:50Sleeping is a dreadful, vile habit because it speeds up a child's physical and mental development.
18:56So instead of sleep, we've been trained to just lie awake in bed and rest.
19:00If you fall asleep, it's over.
19:02From what I've heard, it only takes a single night.
19:04You could have puberty and be flooded with growth hormones.
19:07Doesn't that scare you?
19:08I've been a giant since I was just a little kid.
19:11I doubt puberty will change me much now.
19:13Besides, being this tall has a few perks.
19:17Like not having to stand on tiptoe to pat your head.
19:20What I couldn't tell you was I didn't want you to sleep.
19:27Because every night I was lonely.
19:29I wanted to spend every night talking.
19:32But when you fell asleep, it felt like I was all alone.
19:35The Academy's uniform for girls and boys is slacks.
19:40That's so we don't develop certain feelings toward the opposite sex.
19:44That didn't matter to me.
19:46Because the only gender I was crazy about was the Fuyumura gender.
19:50Gosh, you really like to sleep, don't you?
19:55I bet the reason your hair grows so fast is because you sleep every night.
20:00I wish you could stay like this forever.
20:03And not leave me behind.
20:05What's it like to sleep?
20:08I love you.
20:11You were awake?
20:13I was flabbering.
20:14Never mind.
20:20Fuyumura.
20:23Oh no.
20:24I love you too.
20:26I've loved you.
20:28Always.
20:29And I always will.
20:34Fuyumura.
20:35Wait.
20:38Yeah, Fuyumura.
20:39Touch me more.
20:41Please.
20:42Touch me more.
20:43Where?
20:44Right there?
20:44Does that feel good?
20:47Yeah.
20:47Yeah, right there.
20:48That feels good.
20:52Oh no.
20:53Let me look at your face.
20:56This is real love, isn't it?
20:58Real true love?
20:59Yeah.
21:00It is.
21:01Don't let me go.
21:03Let's stay together forever.
21:05Fuyumura!
21:09When I woke up that morning, my body changed.
21:12I'd gone through puberty.
21:13Not only had I fallen fast asleep, I had a wet dream about my friend.
21:21It's like I committed a sin and now my body took on the weight of it.
21:27A student undergoing puberty in my school before graduating is unacceptable.
21:33You will be dealt with harshly.
21:35Therefore, I advise you not to sleep under any circumstances.
21:38So I ran.
21:43Isn't it funny?
21:45I knew grown-ups sucked, but I never thought they'd be this pathetic.
21:50Ono's gotten so beautiful.
21:52Right now, she needs to hear the same thing he told me.
21:57You don't have to be scared of growing up.
22:01Ono.
22:03Don't be afraid.
22:05We're allowed to become adults.
22:07Don't be afraid.
22:07Don't be afraid.
22:10You don't have to be afraid.
22:15You don't have to be afraid.
22:24Oh.
22:55I got an old feeling and I loved my job
23:00I walked up or shouted at me
23:07I'm not able to get a great day
23:13I'm not a kid, I'm not going to take it
23:19I don't have a day now
23:21I don't know what to do
23:24If you like it, you'll really love it.
23:29Come on now, what's up every day?
23:34I'm calling you every day.
23:54I'm calling you every day.
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