- 7 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The moments we have, we can't give back.
00:09The memories made are bound to last.
00:12Down the line, you know we have.
00:15It takes time.
00:17All right, we're good?
00:19Yeah.
00:20Oh, wine.
00:21Put the wine over there.
00:24Hi, baby cakes.
00:26You're going to get all the food because Nana and Derek are here.
00:29I'm actually really excited to tell your parents about the baby.
00:33Yes, me too.
00:35All right, we're good?
00:37It looks nice.
00:39See you.
00:40Come in.
00:42Hey, pumpkin.
00:43Who's that, Zoe?
00:44Hey.
00:45How are you doing?
00:46Hi.
00:47How are you?
00:48Good to see you.
00:49You look really nice.
00:51How are you doing?
00:52Very pretty.
00:53That's what Heidi said.
00:54Oh, by the way.
00:56So you see that sofa?
00:57Yes.
00:58She likes to jump on the top.
00:59God, here we go.
01:00Zoe or Megan?
01:01Uh, both.
01:02No.
01:03Zoe, you can't let her get on that top level.
01:06Okay.
01:07Okay.
01:08Y'all want to take a seat?
01:09Yeah.
01:10Sure.
01:11So what else is new with y'all?
01:13Hmm?
01:14Well, so we told you about how we maybe would one day get a puppy.
01:18Y'all got an animal?
01:20Well, we...
01:21You got an animal?
01:22Oh, no way.
01:23All right.
01:24Oh, my God.
01:25Well, you didn't surprise me with a baby on the way.
01:28So an animal works.
01:29Wow.
01:30So...
01:31Okay.
01:35Okay.
01:36It's not moving.
01:37Yeah, be gentle.
01:38No.
01:39No.
01:40No.
01:41No.
01:42No.
01:43No.
01:51Yeah, real funny, Meg.
01:52I knew...
01:53I knew...
01:54Wait a minute.
01:55I knew this was gonna happen.
01:56I knew this was a joke, and y'all were gonna do this, because we were gonna be on camera
01:58to see...
01:59I don't know what's in here.
02:00It's a pregnancy test.
02:01Over it.
02:02Oh, God.
02:03Now, if it was real, I'd be excited about it.
02:06But you do this.
02:07You're like this giant prankster.
02:09I'm a little confused here now.
02:11We're pregnant.
02:12Mom doesn't get it.
02:13This is real.
02:15If you're gonna come out with this, you gotta be serious.
02:18We're serious.
02:19God, and so this is real.
02:20It's real.
02:21Okay.
02:22I am excited.
02:23Yeah.
02:24I am.
02:25I'm very excited.
02:26My whole demeanor has changed, and I will handle it differently.
02:28It's not a prank, okay?
02:29So, when are you due?
02:32November 29th to December 3rd.
02:34God, y'all gonna make beautiful babies.
02:36Well, I can say one thing.
02:38It didn't take y'all long.
02:39I mean, for this to happen is, like, unheard of.
02:42Yeah.
02:43How do you feel about it?
02:44I'm excited.
02:45When I got into this process, like, I wanted to get married and start a family.
02:49And you're ready for it, right?
02:50For sure.
02:51I think...
02:52You're sure?
02:53You're committed, right?
02:54Oh, yeah.
02:55I think we're feeling pretty good about it.
02:56Well, we're excited for y'all.
02:57You're fixing to get a crash course in your family.
03:00Yeah, and everything.
03:01I'm telling you, life changes.
03:02Nobody has a clue until you do it.
03:04Yeah.
03:05And y'all haven't had a lot of time together to really get to know each other.
03:08You know, you got hormones that play into this, and bad moods, and all different kind
03:13of changes that y'all gonna go through very rapidly.
03:16Your whole life's fixing to change.
03:18Yeah.
03:19Didn't think it would happen this soon, but I am happy about it.
03:23Yeah.
03:24And I can't wait to do it with Megan.
03:27I think Megan will make a great mom.
03:29Did you hear from Adrian?
03:30He landed safely, I presume?
03:31I was texting with him when he was in Dallas, but I didn't hear from him.
03:47I'm sure he made it home.
03:48So, as I've been thinking about it, one of the things that's really kind of just threw
03:57me when we were at lunch, Adrian's like, Pat, you just need to be yourself.
04:02And it looked like you were starting to get overwhelmed.
04:05I'm not...
04:06And I guess I'm just curious, like, why do you feel like...
04:08I'm just curious, like, why do you feel like you can't be yourself around me?
04:12It's not just around you.
04:15It's not unique to you, right?
04:17Okay.
04:18I think...
04:19That's helpful for me.
04:20There are a lot of components of it.
04:22You know, there were a lot of expectations of me growing up.
04:26There was a lot of pressure I put on myself to, you know, meet those expectations.
04:31Be.
04:32Yeah.
04:33We have this rich family history.
04:36And, you know, to some extent, we were kind of an Air Force poster family.
04:41You know, my grandfather was a colonel in the Air Force, and my dad was a general.
04:46So, I felt a need at a certain point in my life to go to the Air Force Academy.
04:51Because I really, really wanted to make my dad proud.
04:56That was in my home life.
04:58And then in relationships, I was trying to be, you know, the best husband, the best father, the best, you know, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to do that.
05:11So, in some ways, that's where I lost myself before.
05:17And it feels like it's happening again.
05:19And I will say I felt a lot of pain in this experience.
05:23I felt a lot of anxiety.
05:25I felt a lot of emotions in this experience.
05:27And those are not myself.
05:31You know?
05:32Those are stressors on the core of myself.
05:34Well, but that is.
05:35That is life.
05:36Pain is part of, like, who we are and what we have to experience.
05:40I get it.
05:41There are times when I feel completely open to being myself.
05:46And I was in those moments.
05:48And certainly, there were good times.
05:50But at other times, I started to go into protect mode.
05:53Well, if I feel like someone's attacking me, I'm gonna go into protect mode.
05:58So, um...
06:00Do you feel like you're being yourself right now?
06:04Yeah, I do.
06:05I feel like you are, too.
06:07But I have kind of a big question for you.
06:12And I don't think you have to answer it now, but I think it's something you really need to think about.
06:18But can you be confident and sure that you want to and can work in parallel
06:27on processing what's happening with us and working on coming together, building that friendship and trust,
06:36and, like, be your authentic self all the time?
06:40I don't know.
06:42It's a very complex question that I don't...
06:47I don't have an answer for, you know?
06:52But I want to get there.
06:54So sick of losing sleep, trying to wrink your, wrink your mind.
07:04When will I truly see all the colors?
07:11After Chad and I had our argument about his issues with production, we came home and we didn't talk about it at all.
07:21And then he slept at his house the following day.
07:24So we haven't seen each other since, and we haven't really discussed anything.
07:28Did you get a napkin?
07:30About one.
07:33So where do we go from here?
07:35I have no idea.
07:36But I feel like maybe talking with the experts will help us, you know, figure things out.
07:43Hello?
07:44Hi.
07:45You got Chad with you, too?
07:47Yes, ma'am.
07:48Yeah, he's here.
07:49So what is going on, guys?
07:51Uh, we had a couple hard days after we left the retreat.
07:57And the other night when we had sushi, he said he's upset about a schedule.
08:04This environment we're in with all of the production and all the cameras and all of the schedules, that doesn't exist in normal life.
08:12And it just over, it bubbled over.
08:16And it's...
08:17Sure.
08:20I mean, I love Belinda.
08:21And I think given more time and a more natural and normal situation, things would be better.
08:27It's just, I'm just not comfortable with the process.
08:31I do want to emphasize with how frustrating it is to not have, like, a solid set in stone schedule.
08:37And I promise that I can speak for everyone when I'm saying, like, they're not trying to be disrespectful of your schedule.
08:42There's just many, many, many moving parts.
08:44So I hope that you can not personalize it as though this is some sort of, like, dismissal of Chad's particular schedule.
08:52Can you believe that?
08:54Yeah, I do believe that.
08:56But he also said he feels that there's wedges that are trying to be put in between Josh and Jalen.
09:02And I just, I don't see that.
09:05And, I mean, I went straight to the source.
09:08And those were things that weren't true.
09:11I don't believe that I said things that weren't true.
09:13I talked to Josh about the way things were getting wedged, I guess, is how I learned.
09:19Yeah, you said you sent a text and that Josh, that that's how Josh responded, that he agreed with you.
09:24You have it in your mind that I'm not telling you the truth.
09:27So, I mean, there's no point in me sitting here arguing with you.
09:31I know who I've talked to.
09:32That's where I'm going with this.
09:34You see, like, that's why I'm struggling.
09:37I do believe that I've been honest.
09:39And I'm sorry that she feels like I lied to her.
09:42So could this be a difference of perspective, that it wasn't about him trying to lie to you?
09:47That's what he's saying right now. I'm just playing devil's ear.
09:50For sure.
09:52It is a difference in perspective.
09:54Yeah, right. Right, 100%, right?
09:57And, like, can that, can, if you're operating from that, like, you've got a different perspective on what happened, and he has a different perspective on what happened.
10:05Though what he's saying to you is, well, from my memory it happened this way. It wasn't me trying to lie to you.
10:10But I think that's, that's what's more important to you, Belinda, is if he is trying to lie to you or manipulate you or just not be honest with you.
10:19Yeah, because he keeps saying, like, when we're not here, and we're not in this situation, and we move out, and we're at home, like his home, that it'll be different.
10:30And I just feel like now I hear him say things that aren't true.
10:34And now I'm thinking, if he's saying things to me that are not true, then how true is that, that things are going to be better when we leave here?
10:41And I just feel like I'm at a place where I don't trust at all. And I was thinking decision day was a yes. Every day, decision day is a yes. And right now I'm thinking decision day is not a yes.
10:56I am at a place where I'm just frustrated because I definitely don't want to be lied to.
11:12So, going forward, can you both be in agreement to be as honest and direct with one another as possible?
11:25Yes?
11:27Yes.
11:28Is your relationship, is your marriage, is your experience with Chad worth you taking the risk of choosing to believe him?
11:40I think that's what I'm trying to figure out. Am I willing to put myself and take that chance? Because I keep putting myself aside to make him feel comfortable.
11:54What does that look like?
11:56I feel like I don't really have, like, intimacy with my partner because his wind down is to drink and that helps him sleep. And so for me, I'm just in my bed on my phone.
12:12Well, I mean, there's a fairly large puppy dog that likes to sleep in between us. Just like you said, you're trying to protect my feelings and not hurt my feelings. I know how much you love that dog. And I'm not going to go in there and say you need to kick lovey out of bed. I mean, that's just, I'm not going to do that.
12:32No, but you could have said, I want to spend time with you.
12:36I do want to spend time with you. You know that.
12:38I want to interject here because I think we're starting to move towards a level of communication that I don't know that's going to be productive.
12:44So what I do want to remind both of you of is that marriage takes work. It takes hard-ass work.
12:50Yeah. Period.
12:51And so what I would encourage you to do is to keep having these conversations.
12:56Mm-hmm.
12:57Chad, are you willing to work through this with her?
13:00Absolutely.
13:01Okay.
13:02Do you feel, Melinda, that this is something that can be worked on?
13:06I am willing to do the work with him, but I feel like, I still feel like I took a step back and it's going to take time.
13:16I think that's absolutely reasonable for that to be where you are.
13:20So take some time because this is a lot. This is a lot that we just unpacked today.
13:24And this may not be the end of the conversation.
13:27So if there's something when you're processing everything that we spoke about today, and a thought comes up, write it down.
13:33And if you all want to, like, revisit this, I'm very available. Okay?
13:38Okay.
13:40I don't know what the future looks like between me and Melinda.
13:43All I know is that in a relatively short period of time, we have to make a decision whether we're going to stay together or we're going to divorce.
13:49Bye-bye.
13:50I need to take a walk.
14:00What I've learned from previous marriages is that I can't be the only one trying to make it work.
14:05And I do believe that if we're both willing to just fight through it, there's an absolute chance that this could be a success.
14:12I just don't, I don't know what she wants.
14:25I think I'm just going to go home for the night and then, I don't know, give ourselves time.
14:33It's really pretty. I'm happy to be here with you. Thank you for bringing me.
14:52You're welcome. Thank you for enjoying this romantic outing with me.
14:59Is this the charcucci?
15:03Yeah.
15:04Oh.
15:06That's not how you pronounce it?
15:10How are you supposed to say it?
15:13I don't think it's a coochie, honey.
15:15Is that what they call it now?
15:16You know what a coochie is?
15:17That.
15:18There's ain't no coochie.
15:19I thought they started calling the charcuterie boards, charcucci boards.
15:22No? Okay.
15:24Oh, this is our first time on a boat since the catamaran.
15:27Oh my gosh, yeah.
15:28The first time we were on a boat, we didn't know what we were doing, where we were, how to communicate or anything.
15:32This just feels like a complete 180. It just feels so different.
15:37What was your moment where you thought that things changed or shifted?
15:42The conversation with Cal and Pia.
15:44I think in that moment, I really realized that like, yeah, I was guarded.
15:51And I wasn't able to just let myself feel the things that I wanted to feel.
15:56And I was just like, if there's anything that I feel like we need to talk about, I'm going to address it.
16:01And we'll see what happens.
16:06And all good things have happened.
16:09Even though we've had conflict, it's good because we've been able to get through them.
16:13Yeah.
16:14I don't know if I've asked this since things are starting to get better, but do you feel like the emotional connection has grown?
16:24Oh, that's a trick question.
16:26How is that a trick question?
16:27Well, a trick question. Hold on.
16:29Because during the retreat, you asked me that.
16:31And I didn't say it the right way. I got chewed out at the dinner.
16:34She asked me earlier, do we feel like we're connected?
16:36My response was, I think we could be more connected.
16:38To me, that made sense. And that was an appropriate answer.
16:42But for her, she needed more.
16:44I would have taken that personally.
16:46Myself, I would have completely shut down.
16:49That's right. Yeah.
16:50That's what happened.
16:51I definitely do feel a strong connection with you.
16:53And I am looking forward to it even growing.
16:58I guess I'm going to ask, how does strong connection correlate to, like, love?
17:04But what do you mean, how does it coordinate with love?
17:06Like, when you say you love me, what does that mean?
17:08A few different things.
17:09It means that, well, one, I want you happy.
17:13But also that I'm committed to us and I'm committed to this.
17:17It's an action as well as a feeling.
17:21So the feelings are there, not just the...
17:23The action, yes.
17:24Okay.
17:25Because that's what I heard.
17:26I heard more action and less feeling.
17:27Oh.
17:28Okay.
17:29That's just how I interpreted that.
17:30I interpret that as, like...
17:31Well, you tell me how you love me then, and then that's...
17:33What does loving meaning mean to you?
17:36It means that when I'm around you, my heart feels joyful.
17:42It's more feeling for me.
17:44Just like when I go about my day, like, I'm thinking of you constantly.
17:48I love you not out of obligation, because we're married and we're committed to each other.
17:54It's because I have actual feelings for you.
17:57And that in turn makes you committed.
17:59Right.
18:00Hmm.
18:02Our definition of love might be a little different.
18:08Now I understand.
18:09It's...
18:10It sounds like it's like an obligation kind of thing.
18:13Really?
18:14What's up?
18:15You think that you're an obligation?
18:16I mean, it sounds like because we're married and you made the choice to be committed to me.
18:22It's okay, and it is what it is.
18:25It feels like no matter what I say or do, it's just like,
18:35Well, you didn't do it the way I wanted.
18:37I'm annoyed.
18:38All the truth is I'm so paranoid.
18:40I think I'm telling you how I feel, but also how I want to make you feel, and you discredit it.
18:45I wasn't trying to discredit it.
18:59I was answering the question that you asked me back, and I was explaining what it means to me.
19:06And I was trying to point out that there are differences, and that's okay, and it is what it is.
19:15But I recognize what you said.
19:17Like, I know I make you happy.
19:21You just said that.
19:23I'm sorry if I took what should have been a romantic dialogue and I turned it into making you feel like I was trying to discredit what you were saying.
19:33That's not...
19:34It was more of a comparison.
19:36Well, I'm sorry.
19:37And then...
19:38Now that I know that, like, that's how you're feeling, now it's on me to make you comfortable enough to be able to express yourself.
19:49Because, like, I...
19:51There was never anything intentional.
19:53It's not intentional.
19:54I know.
19:55You're so sweet.
19:56And I think that because you're so sweet, that could be why you take things personally.
20:00Regardless, I'm so sorry.
20:02Like, I'm...
20:03Like, it's making me...
20:04It's making me sad.
20:05I'm sorry.
20:06You're a tall snake.
20:08I appreciate you.
20:09I love you.
20:10I love you too.
20:11I love you too.
20:14I love you too.
20:15Time went over our shoulder.
20:16Turned us all around.
20:20Oh, oh, oh, oh.
20:21Oh, oh, oh, oh.
20:23Oh, oh, oh, oh.
20:28We still got each other.
20:30All right, babe.
20:33Let's go car shopping.
20:34Let's go car shopping.
20:37I mean, I even like these.
20:38Derek.
20:39What, you don't like that?
20:41Derek.
20:42CT4.
20:43Derek.
20:45You like it?
20:46I really like it.
20:47Super safe for the baby.
20:49Yeah.
20:49Do you think I should get it?
20:50I think with the racing stripes, that's what we should get.
20:54Derek.
20:58Your wife is way too good at this game.
21:00I told her, y'all, we're going to watch to make sure
21:02she's not, you know, an axe murderer or anything.
21:05Seriously.
21:09Still play?
21:10No.
21:12It's because of my nails.
21:14Oh.
21:14I do miss it, though.
21:17Enough to get rid of your nails?
21:20Hell no.
21:24I'm headed to Chad's.
21:25He wants to have a conversation.
21:28We did talk last night over the phone briefly.
21:33And he said he wants to make this work.
21:35I said, I would like for it to work.
21:36We have a good thing here.
21:38And I believe that we have a lot of potential
21:40in having a great marriage.
21:43It's just a matter of kind of getting through these issues
21:46and kind of owning up to them.
21:48So we'll see how today goes.
21:51How can I truly see all the colors in your heart?
22:00Hey.
22:01Hi, baby.
22:05You don't have to nod.
22:06So there was a very intense conversation with Dr. P.
22:21And I understand how you feel about my behavior this week.
22:39And I agree.
22:42It wasn't appropriate.
22:44So I'm sorry.
22:46But a little bit of a gut punch for me.
22:49I knew we were going to be talking about the restaurant.
22:52All of the other things, I didn't know.
22:54Well, you brought up Levy being in the bed.
22:56And I said, you've complained about him barking,
22:59but you never complained about him being in the bed.
23:02I've talked to you about him being in the bed.
23:04And I didn't really complain about him barking.
23:06I just said we need to look at a way to try to resolve this.
23:08Because he can't be barking all day long,
23:10no matter where he lives.
23:11He doesn't bark all day long.
23:13When you're there, he doesn't.
23:14But when you're not there, he barks.
23:17How do you know?
23:18Because when I walk up to the apartment
23:19when you're not there, he's barking.
23:21When you're walking to the door, he's going to bark.
23:23When I'm coming out of the garage, baby.
23:25But you don't know if he's by himself,
23:27that he's barking all day long.
23:28Sweetheart, are we going to be able to talk,
23:30or are we going to keep arguing with each other?
23:31Okay, talk.
23:32But you're telling me things that it's like
23:34we don't know that he barks all day long
23:35when nobody's there.
23:38This is already not going the way I was hoping it would go.
23:42Do you want to work on this and try to say this or not?
23:47I told you I would be willing to work on it last night.
23:50You said you'd be willing, but do you want to?
23:53If I'm willing to work on something,
23:55I'm going to do it because I want to.
23:58So what do we do?
24:07You want to have a conversation,
24:09but you don't want me to participate in the conversation.
24:11I'm trying to tell you what I think,
24:13and you're arguing all the points.
24:15Why is it that you're telling me what you think,
24:18and I'm arguing, versus I'm telling you what I think,
24:20and you're telling me what you think?
24:21I mean, I'll do it with something.
24:22We're getting nowhere with this.
24:23Okay, then I'm done.
24:24Okay.
24:25It's fine.
24:25That's fine, too.
24:26I love Belinda, but I don't appreciate this.
24:35I want to stay married,
24:42but I'm not going to stay married to somebody
24:43who I can't have a rational conversation
24:45every time there's tension in the room.
24:48I have some really sad news I wanted to share.
25:08Sadly, last night, we lost people.
25:11Well, my mom's husband, and so I'm at her house now,
25:17and we're getting ready to go to the funeral home
25:19to make arrangements.
25:21They were married 41 years.
25:23It was their 40th wedding picture present
25:27from a friend last year.
25:31Anyway, crazy is that their wedding anniversary
25:34is actually the same day Pat and I got married.
25:37Anyway, big loss.
25:39We're sad.
25:50This is one of your favorite spots or what?
25:52Yes.
25:52All right.
25:55Your steak is better than mine.
25:57No.
25:57I don't know about that one.
26:00Jaylen and I have had some really important
26:02conversations recently.
26:03We're definitely still learning how our lives
26:06would mesh together, but I want to build,
26:08you know, like, this life I always dreamed
26:10of having with Jaylen.
26:11And so with decision day coming up,
26:14I'm hoping she feels the same way.
26:16Ready for a little drinky drink?
26:18Yeah.
26:18Some steak?
26:19Oh, yeah.
26:21Time has flown by.
26:22It really has.
26:23It's crazy.
26:24It felt like it was, like, the longest,
26:26but now I think that we're so close to the end,
26:28like, decision day.
26:29It just feels like it's flown.
26:30It's just, like, speeding towards us.
26:33I do want to feel reassured with the things
26:36that we've gone through and just, like,
26:38making sure that we're aligned.
26:39Yeah.
26:39Oh, perfect.
26:41Ooh.
26:41Awesome.
26:42Perfect.
26:45And I think with that, like,
26:46when I bring up conversations about, like,
26:49okay, how can we get everything you love
26:52from Burning Man into everyday life?
26:54It's not because I'm trying to be, like,
26:56Yeah.
26:58How can we move it all over here
26:59so you can stop going over there?
27:01Like, I'm just not that way.
27:03I really care about you,
27:05and I want you to be really happy.
27:06And I think what was my concern was, like,
27:08if you did date somebody who loved it
27:10just as much as you
27:11and you were married to someone like that,
27:13that could easily be your life
27:15and, like, so fun.
27:16And I think that that's, like,
27:18where I get tripped up
27:19because it's, like,
27:20I don't want to feel like I'm just
27:21changing your life
27:23and making you feel like
27:25you have to give up things
27:26you don't like to do
27:27when you can go find that
27:28with somebody else.
27:29And, like, that's where I stress out.
27:32Yeah.
27:33And, like, I think my worry is just
27:35can we get to a point
27:36where you're fulfilled in you and I
27:38and you're fulfilled in other things?
27:40Like, I think that's been the concern.
27:43Yeah.
27:44Putting myself in your shoes,
27:45just, like, I can understand completely,
27:47like, where you're coming from.
27:48Like, at the end of the day,
27:49like, music is, like,
27:50a really big part of, like,
27:51what I enjoy,
27:52but it's not who I am.
27:54Like, I really think about it.
27:55There's a lot of things
27:56about me that make me who I am
27:59way outside of that.
28:02But, like, in that moment,
28:03I was just like,
28:04holy shit, like,
28:05like, what do I have out there?
28:09You know?
28:09I think, like, you know,
28:10maybe you go this year
28:12and then next year
28:13we pick a trip
28:15and, like, go to a retreat
28:17and, like, something like that together
28:19in, like, a setting that's, like,
28:22giving you some things
28:24and then we go do other things.
28:26I don't know.
28:26I'm just like...
28:27I'll be completely honest with you, babe.
28:30I've literally already thought of myself
28:33at, like, Burning Man without you
28:34and it's like I already feel like
28:36it's not going to be the same.
28:38I already feel that way.
28:40I literally already feel that way.
28:43And so, like,
28:44I don't see myself going
28:46if you weren't with me.
28:47Yeah.
28:48So...
28:48Yeah.
28:50Good.
28:51I think Josh is really good
28:53at making me feel reassured,
28:55but these are things
28:56that could potentially
28:57be easier said than done.
28:59You know, I could see myself
29:00spending forever with him.
29:02I think my biggest fear is
29:03he's just telling me
29:04what I want to hear,
29:05so I just say yes
29:06by the end of this.
29:07No matter what happens
29:08on Decision Day,
29:09I want you to know
29:10that I think, like,
29:11you're such an incredible person
29:12and, like,
29:13I think you're deserving
29:14of everything you want
29:16and, like...
29:17Yeah.
29:19I'll tell you something
29:20that I really want right now.
29:22What?
29:23A kiss.
29:25Give me a kiss.
29:26I spoke with Chad
29:37over the phone
29:37and we both agreed
29:38we're going to meet tomorrow
29:40and see where this goes.
29:44I mean, I'm not ready
29:45to give up,
29:45but I feel like
29:46I definitely need
29:47a little bit more
29:49clarity for sure.
29:51I can see it
29:52in your eyes
29:54you're giving up
29:55I'm going to have
29:59a chance to be a boy
30:02You want something to drink?
30:09Um, yes,
30:11I'm Arnold Palmer.
30:13Please.
30:14Please.
30:24Mm-hmm.
30:33Did you get to
30:34take your call?
30:35Yeah.
30:40Yeah, to the office
30:41this morning
30:41it was nice to get out
30:42and clear my head
30:44a little bit
30:44and, uh,
30:47I'm going to take
30:48a break from work
30:49so I can be here
30:49for today
30:50so we can talk
30:51with, uh,
30:52Dr. Pia, so...
30:54Yeah.
30:58Let's see how it goes.
31:09Get back,
31:09get back, buddy.
31:11Hello.
31:11Hello.
31:12Hi.
31:12Hi, buddy.
31:14I love these colors.
31:17A lot of couples
31:17will never go to
31:18counseling together
31:19and so for us
31:20to have that opportunity
31:21I don't want to
31:23miss out
31:24on having that help
31:26because right now
31:27we need it.
31:30Okay, everyone's
31:31so quiet.
31:32Let's get to business.
31:34What's happening?
31:35I mean,
31:36I feel like we tried
31:37having a conversation
31:38and, you know,
31:38he apologized
31:39for his behavior
31:40the last couple days
31:41but then
31:42it didn't go so well.
31:44Seemed like we hit a point
31:44of diminishing return,
31:45so...
31:46I feel like
31:47the whole conversation
31:48is controlled
31:48and it's only going to happen
31:50the way you want it to happen.
31:52Mm-hmm.
31:52I don't want to control you.
31:54How do you handle stress?
31:57Typically,
31:57I go to the ranch
31:58or I will go to the gym
31:59or I'll go fishing.
32:00Yeah.
32:00Just being outside
32:01that helps me.
32:02So what I'm then hearing,
32:04Chad,
32:04is you have not been able
32:06to cope
32:07in the ways
32:08that you normally do.
32:09Yes.
32:10May I ask why?
32:12Between breaks
32:13in the schedule
32:14and work
32:15and other things,
32:16I just have no time.
32:17So you've been
32:19completely out
32:20of your element.
32:21Yeah.
32:22I want to give you
32:23the opportunity
32:24to state what you need
32:26and how I can help
32:27and how she can help.
32:31One,
32:31I'd like for somebody
32:32to try to understand.
32:36When you say
32:36I'm not trying
32:37to understand,
32:37it frustrates me
32:38because I feel like
32:39this whole time
32:41that I've met you,
32:42I've been understanding
32:43and I've been trying
32:46to make sure
32:47that you feel okay.
32:49But I feel like
32:50I'm kind of on eggshells.
32:51What do you fear
32:52could potentially happen?
32:55Him getting upset.
32:56That's within
32:57the back of my mind.
32:59Do you often feel
33:00uncomfortable
33:01if there's conflict occurring?
33:03I do.
33:04Where does that come from?
33:05I think it's come from
33:06just seeing it for so long.
33:08I'm tired of it.
33:09Are you able to share
33:11more with him
33:13about where this comes from
33:15for you,
33:15that you are tired
33:17of seeing conflict?
33:19Yeah.
33:20My ex-husband
33:20was arguing
33:21and shouting
33:22all the time.
33:24Um,
33:24and I feel like
33:27I just went from there.
33:28I mean...
33:28I've gone through
33:45a lot of times
33:46where
33:47these blow-ups happen
33:50and it's gotten scary
33:53and
33:54my kids have had
33:56to see that
33:56and it's a lot.
33:58And after that,
34:00I created my own
34:01safe space
34:02to
34:02every friend
34:04that I made
34:05is positive
34:06so that I could make sure
34:08that I was away from that.
34:09And I'm at a point
34:11where I just want peace
34:12and that's all I want.
34:13Like,
34:13I need to stay
34:15in this space
34:16that I made
34:17for myself.
34:20That's a reaction
34:22to trauma.
34:23That's a reaction
34:24to anxiety.
34:26Right?
34:27We become hyper-alert
34:29of anything
34:29that is remotely
34:31reflective
34:32of what has traumatized
34:34us previously,
34:35what has caused
34:36us anxiety previously.
34:38You're becoming
34:38hyper-vigilant
34:39to his behaviors
34:40because although
34:41they aren't
34:42emotionally damaging
34:44to you
34:44as prior experiences
34:45have been,
34:46it's like,
34:47it looks like a duck.
34:48It's starting to quack.
34:49I'm not letting that duck
34:50get that close to me.
34:51I know what this outcome
34:53is going to be.
34:54But there's the reality
34:55of life
34:56that you can't live
34:56in a bubble,
34:57you know?
34:58You're both having
35:00similar experiences
35:01but are missing
35:02each other in that.
35:03You're trying to control
35:04your environment
35:05by saying,
35:06uh-uh,
35:06conflict,
35:07I'm out of here
35:08with conflict.
35:08It's fight,
35:09flight, or freeze.
35:10You fight,
35:11you're doing
35:12flight or freeze.
35:13They're all the same.
35:15And so,
35:15you need to give each other
35:17that level of grace
35:19and understanding
35:19that he's not your past.
35:22He's not your past.
35:23Like, give each other
35:24a fair shot
35:25because we are observing
35:27things in one another
35:27that we didn't have
35:28in previous partners.
35:31And time's kind
35:32of a tick in here.
35:33Yeah.
35:33Decision day
35:34is approaching.
35:35So,
35:36do we want
35:36to just be alone
35:37and single
35:38or are we both
35:40committed to working
35:41together as a couple
35:42to figure out
35:43how to navigate that?
35:45I don't want to live
35:46in a bubble.
35:47My bubble's nice.
35:49I know it is.
35:50I'm sure it is.
35:52But your bubble
35:53doesn't have him.
35:55Maybe open the bubble
35:57a little bit.
35:58Well, I'm trying.
36:00Because y'all both
36:00deserve that.
36:01And, like,
36:01you both deserve
36:02to experience care
36:04and love.
36:05And I think
36:06the question is,
36:07can y'all be
36:08peaceful together?
36:09And if so,
36:09like, what does
36:10that look like?
36:11When my lines
36:12get a little blurry
36:14going to need
36:16somebody like me?
36:22You're perfection.
36:23You've got everything.
36:25You're perfection.
36:27You're perfection.
36:28I think we should
36:30probably clean out
36:31the...
36:32The baby room?
36:33Yeah.
36:33Well, there's a lot
36:35to do to get ready
36:36for the baby.
36:38So I need to bring
36:39that to Rachel
36:40and Nate.
36:42And I've got to
36:42get rid of all my...
36:44I've got to organize
36:45that closet.
36:46Yeah.
36:47So that'll be
36:47another day.
36:48I feel like it hit me
36:49right after talking
36:51to my parents.
36:53We're about to shift
36:54into a whole different
36:55life.
36:56Like, it's real.
36:57Like, Derek's moving
36:58in, and this is
36:59going to be
36:59the baby's room.
37:01Got to get rid
37:01of all my stuff.
37:03Yeah.
37:03I'm a perfectionist.
37:05Everything in my house
37:06has to kind of be
37:07organized or in its place.
37:09I like things
37:10to be in its place.
37:11I don't like chaos.
37:12So I love knocking
37:15things off the list
37:16before we move here.
37:18Are you going to
37:19organize?
37:20Mm-hmm.
37:21Okay.
37:22You're going to hang
37:22that before we leave
37:23though, right?
37:23Yeah.
37:23Okay.
37:24Yeah.
37:24And now with the baby
37:25slot, I got a lot
37:27going on.
37:27You want me to show
37:28you what you need
37:29to do?
37:30Mm-hmm.
37:31Thank God for Derek
37:32or I would lose my mind.
37:35All right, let's knock
37:36out the garage.
37:37So all this paint
37:38stuff goes?
37:40Yeah.
37:40Any preference
37:41on this or we're just
37:42going to...
37:42No.
37:43We're just going to make
37:44sure that we can get
37:44both of us in here.
37:46Okay.
37:47Do it like me.
37:48Can't do it like me.
37:49No, no.
37:50La, la, la.
37:51Can't do it like me.
37:52Can't do it like me.
37:53Yeah, yeah.
37:55I think for sure
37:56the husband life
37:58is really like hitting
37:59me pretty hard right now.
38:01We're going to run it
38:01up.
38:01Run it up.
38:02If it all you got,
38:03we're going to speed it
38:03up.
38:03Speed it up.
38:04We're going to speed
38:04it up.
38:05We're going to speed
38:05it up.
38:06Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
38:08Do it like me.
38:09Can't do it like me.
38:10No, no, no, no.
38:10You know, doing mounting stuff,
38:13taking out the garbage,
38:14full in dad mode now.
38:17Mm-hmm.
38:17Okay, let's go eat.
38:20Okay.
38:21One thing that will not happen
38:22is the dad bod.
38:24That's not going to happen.
38:26So what else do you have
38:27left to do?
38:29Essential before we move in
38:30would be bedroom, closet,
38:32bathroom, garage.
38:34Decision day's a little bit
38:35different for us
38:36than other couples.
38:38Yeah, we'll obviously
38:39still like go through
38:42the formal process
38:43and like I want to
38:44like formally like
38:47confirm my decision
38:48but there's way more
38:50on the line.
38:51Like there's
38:52more reason for us
38:54to stay together
38:55like given the pregnancy.
38:58Yeah.
39:00I mean I also feel like
39:01it would not be
39:02that different from
39:03other like yeah
39:04we still have opportunity
39:05like if we were like
39:06I don't want to be with you
39:07we could still raise
39:07a kid together.
39:08You know what I mean?
39:09Like there's more like
39:11at stake with our marriage
39:13but like you know what I mean?
39:14Does that make sense?
39:15Like I love Derek
39:17but like just because
39:18we're pregnant
39:19doesn't mean we have
39:19to be together.
39:21You know?
39:22It's not like I'm thinking
39:23about saying no
39:24but the independent side
39:26of me is like
39:26we do have a choice
39:27and I don't want that
39:29to be the only reason
39:30we stay married.
39:32It's what I wanted
39:33like coming into this.
39:34It just happened
39:35way sooner than we thought.
39:37Way sooner than we thought.
39:39At least in my mind
39:39it's clear.
39:40Maybe you got me feeling
39:43like nobody else around
39:45Don't try to tell me
39:47you don't see
39:48where this is gonna go
39:50Yeah baby
39:51you and me
39:53we're making it last
39:55Today is a hard day Pat.
39:59I feel like going through
40:02everything that happened
40:03at the hospital
40:04on Thursday
40:05and then dealing
40:06with the funeral home
40:07yesterday
40:07I feel like
40:09yeah it's just
40:11starting to hit me.
40:13Danny's passing.
40:14It's a lot
40:15you've been going through.
40:17Your life has changed
40:18quite a lot.
40:20It has.
40:21Just in the last
40:2224 hours.
40:24You know losing Danny
40:26just a few days ago
40:27it makes it hard
40:29to focus on
40:30this relationship
40:31but Pat
40:33has been sweet
40:35and nice.
40:35He's very supportive
40:36and I just feel
40:38really grateful
40:38for the relationship
40:41that we have.
40:44So
40:45we're staying apart
40:47tonight before
40:47decision day.
40:49Yeah well
40:49I think it's
40:51a good idea
40:52just for us to
40:53kind of
40:54reflect.
40:56We'll figure it out.
40:57I do feel like
40:58we're going to be
40:59able to figure it out.
41:00You just stay
41:01your authentic self.
41:03Like
41:03I know that
41:04there are going to be
41:05some cases
41:06where you may feel
41:08you can't be
41:09your authentic self
41:10but around
41:12when it's us
41:12I just really need
41:13you to be you
41:14Pat.
41:15Yeah
41:16that's who I intend
41:17to be
41:17you know.
41:19Yeah
41:19and like I've said
41:20before
41:21that no matter
41:22what happens
41:23I don't want you
41:24leading me
41:25and dragging me
41:26along
41:26or pushing me
41:27from behind
41:28or following me
41:29from behind
41:29but standing
41:30by my side.
41:31Well
41:31no matter
41:33what happens
41:34I want you
41:35to know
41:36that I will
41:37make
41:37every effort
41:39to honor you
41:40and just
41:41be present
41:43for you
41:43be
41:44myself
41:45with you.
41:47Sweet.
41:51Okay
41:51I guess
41:52I gotta
41:52leave you
41:54till tomorrow's
41:56big day.
42:02I love you too.
42:06I'll give the puppies
42:07a smooch for you.
42:10You want me
42:11to walk you out?
42:12Sure.
42:14No
42:14you have to stay.
42:16Goodbye
42:17until we meet again.
42:19Bye.
42:20All right.
42:30It's the final day
42:32before decision day.
42:34In order to better
42:34evaluate the last
42:35eight weeks
42:36of their marriage
42:37the couples
42:37are spending
42:38their last day
42:39alone.
42:41Sleep sweet baby.
42:42Bye.
42:42Before they must
42:43make the biggest
42:44decision of their lives.
42:46Love you.
42:46Whether to stay
42:49married
42:49or get a divorce.
42:54Makes me sad.
42:57I don't want
42:58water.
42:59Because you're leaving.
43:03It's not forever.
43:04I know.
43:07Or do I?
43:08I'm kidding.
43:09I know.
43:10Okay
43:10you're right.
43:11It could be forever.
43:12I'll never see you again.
43:14That's not funny.
43:16You just sent me
43:17with a or do you.
43:18I was kidding.
43:19Immediately followed
43:20up with it.
43:20Just kidding.
43:21Just kidding.
43:23That makes it better.
43:24Yeah.
43:25It's like in
43:25Men in Black
43:26where Will Smith
43:26holds up the
43:27nebulizer.
43:30No?
43:31Okay.
43:32Not a thing.
43:33I've seen it.
43:34I just don't
43:34like I don't remember.
43:36Okay.
43:36It's fine.
43:37It's cool.
43:37Not a big deal.
43:39How's it gonna be?
43:40How's it gonna feel
43:41to sleep without me?
43:42I feel like I might
43:43get a little emotional.
43:45I don't know why.
43:46I just
43:46I think
43:47because there's
43:47like a lot.
43:50I'm just thinking
43:51about like
43:52tomorrow
43:52which is gonna be
43:54a lot.
43:57I don't know.
43:58I'm just gonna miss
43:59you so much.
44:04That's all I got
44:05for you right now.
44:07That's not all you got.
44:08Yeah.
44:09For now it is.
44:10Well the words are fine.
44:12That can be all the words
44:12you got
44:13but you can give me a hug.
44:14Of course I'm gonna
44:14give you a hug.
44:15You can get over here.
44:16Stop sitting on the other
44:17side of the couch.
44:17Oh my jeez.
44:24I didn't say much.
44:26You didn't have to.
44:27I will say
44:28no matter what.
44:30I love you.
44:33No matter why you love me.
44:35Wait what kind of love?
44:37What do you mean?
44:38I love you.
44:39I remember getting back
44:39to one of your
44:40the passionate kind of loves
44:41or whatever.
44:42I forget exactly
44:43what your terminology was
44:44to deem what love was
44:46or what wasn't.
44:46I take it back.
44:48You just ruin
44:49the moment.
44:50But thank you for sharing
44:53a moment with me anyway.
44:54You're welcome.
44:56I see a future with Will
44:58and you know
44:58we've definitely planned
45:00for the next phase
45:00of our life together.
45:01Trying to keep my feet
45:03on solid ground.
45:05I don't think we'd both
45:05put in that much effort
45:07if we didn't see a future
45:08with one another.
45:09So I'm confident
45:11with what our decision
45:13will be
45:13but there's still
45:15that element of like
45:16surprise or what if.
45:18Amika, so are you
45:19going to walk me out?
45:20Yep.
45:21And so I am
45:24a little nervous
45:25because I wanted to work.
45:26I've been committed
45:27and I'm going to stay committed.
45:30100% I'm all in.
45:41Bye.
45:41Bye.
45:43Give me a kiss.
45:49Bye.
45:50Bye.
45:51That was better.
45:51That was better.
45:51That was better.
45:52I could do it this way
46:06You could do it that way
46:08Maybe it's the whole of me
46:11Are you ready?
46:12Are you ready?
46:13Are you ready for it?
46:15It's really hard.
46:17Today is the day.
46:19Today is decision day.
46:21It's not lost on me
46:22the severity of today
46:23but I woke up feeling at peace.
46:27I feel good about my decision
46:29which is exactly
46:30what I wanted to feel
46:31but I had the entire night
46:33by myself
46:34to really think about
46:35this entire process
46:36this journey
46:37everything that we've been on
46:38and I'm just really grateful
46:40and I'm just really grateful
46:40for every moment
46:42that I've gotten
46:43to spend with him
46:44I've been dreaming
46:46for so long
46:47Brittany, meet for the very first time
46:49Will?
46:51I will
46:51I'm not opposed to
46:58kissing him again
47:00and continuously kissing him
47:02He has great lips
47:03I always wanted to have
47:07a partner
47:07and an equal
47:08someone committed
47:09to having a mature relationship
47:10and I found that
47:12it will
47:12naturally like
47:13drawn to you
47:14and like
47:15physically comfortable with you
47:16I'm here
47:18I think what I've come
47:23to really appreciate
47:23the way that you process things
47:26and like how your mind works
47:28is just so beautiful
47:28to get to see
47:29and I'm so blessed
47:32to be married to you
47:34I am honestly really focusing on
47:37just giving myself the time
47:40to write the pros
47:41the cons
47:41over the last couple of weeks
47:43I've kind of
47:45ignored my feelings
47:46my thoughts
47:46because I felt as if
47:48I couldn't express myself
47:49based off of how she may react
47:50or how she would feel
47:52it's just more so
47:54me trying to figure out
47:54if I'm
47:55willing to hedge a bet
47:57on her learning
47:59to
47:59accept my feelings
48:01I just don't do well
48:03when I feel like
48:04people are trying to
48:04like pull away
48:05I need
48:07someone who can communicate
48:08I don't want to be married
48:09to someone who
48:10doesn't want to talk to me
48:11and is distant
48:12and like now
48:13doesn't want to be intimate
48:15I take all of that
48:17as rejection
48:17I want you
48:18I want us
48:20I want this
48:22and I
48:23can do a better job
48:25at reminding you that
48:26do you know how
48:28to provide an environment
48:29for her to feel secure
48:31I think do you want to
48:32is my question
48:33when you say you love me
48:38what does that mean?
48:39it means that
48:40well one
48:42I want you happy
48:43I want you smiling
48:44but also that
48:46I'm committed to us
48:47and our happiness
48:48and your happiness
48:49our definition of love
48:51might be a little different
48:52feels like no matter
48:53what I say or do
48:54it's just like
48:55well you didn't do it
48:55the way I wanted
48:56I'm telling you how I feel
48:57and you discredit it
48:59I was trying to think about
49:05what my biggest fears
49:07or issues were
49:07with the relationship
49:08and after putting
49:10all that together
49:11I just called Brittany
49:13and let her know
49:14that I was going to say no
49:15I'm not going to lose my shit
49:24okay
49:25I'm actually losing my shit
49:27yeah
49:28okay
49:29take a deep breath
49:33and of course
49:34there's a camera
49:34I think I'm going to lose my shit
49:36okay
49:37what's wrong with right now?
49:38well
49:38well just told me
49:39he's going to tell me no
49:40so
49:41what
49:44okay
49:45you got a phone call
49:47I'm not doing that
49:49I just wanted to hear
49:51what happened
49:51okay
49:52let's take a deep breath
49:53I love her
50:06I adore her
50:07but
50:08I also can't be in a relationship
50:09where
50:10I'm constantly told
50:11that my feelings don't matter
50:12part of me doesn't believe him
50:14and that's the part
50:15that wants to fight
50:16but
50:17I don't really know
50:18where to go from here
50:20today is decision day
50:32getting into this experience
50:35one of the things I was looking for
50:37is I wanted somebody who adored me
50:39and was excited to see me
50:41I want this to be the ultimate love story
50:46I know it's right
50:48to say I do
50:50we are married
50:52and I take marriage very seriously
50:54to say I do
50:56decision day is huge
50:58and I think this could be the best day of our life
51:00or it could be a really hard day
51:02it's been a great ride
51:04but it's been a rocky ride at times
51:06I realized how bad I hurt her
51:08and the other part is
51:10just how little control I have
51:11over what I thought I had control of
51:13I could see the way that you love me
51:16and the way that you care about me
51:17like give our marriage a chance
51:19if she didn't want to continue
51:24that would be devastating
51:27I hope to feel
51:29confident and secure in my decision
51:32there's not a place in my heart
51:34that's ready to say no
51:36but I'm scared
51:37the time has come for you to decide
51:40I just think you are an incredible person
51:44and I feel very lucky to have met you
51:46but I don't know what to do
51:51when the truth comes
51:53I don't know what to do
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