- 13 hours ago
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00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:30I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:59Everything here's been fine. Nothing wrong here at all. There's no problems here at all.
01:23So, uh, how was the school reunion?
01:27Keep on talking.
01:29Oh, I was at the old school reunion.
01:33Where's this go?
01:41Father, do you think a cup of tea might calm you down?
01:44Oh, Father Maguire, you're back, thank God.
01:49You've got to do something. Father Crilly's gone mad.
01:53It's this football thing.
01:55God almighty, is it that time of the year again?
01:57Yes, and he thinks Father Byrne's trying to find out his tactics for the match.
02:01I mean, it's only a stupid game of football, for goodness sake.
02:05Mrs Doyle, I'm sorry, but no.
02:07There's nothing stupid about football.
02:09There's nothing stupid about football.
02:11And there's nothing at all stupid about the annual All-Priest Five-Aside Over 75's indoor football challenge match.
02:19Against Rugged Island.
02:21I'm sorry, Your Honor.
02:37I'm sorry, my girlfriend.
02:41Anyway, Dougal you are saying about the school reunion. Well, I didn't recognize any of them
02:48And you know what Ted did all become firemen. I was the only one there. It wasn't a fireman. Can you believe that?
02:59Dougal you didn't go to a fire station or something by mistake
03:03Ted, come on. You're going a bit mad there. I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing wrong with me
03:16Everything with me is fine
03:18Ted, I'm going to have to do something and you're not going to like it. Call it female intuition or whatever the male equivalent of female intuition is
03:27But this isn't going to go down well in the Ted camp at all. I think
03:33Sorry, Ted. You were going a bit too mad
03:37What have I done? Look at the room. Look at the room. You're right, Dougal. I have to get a hold of myself
03:55But Ted being bugged by Dick Burner, that's not very likely is it? Come on Ted look at you. You look terrible
04:03I've been having trouble getting any sleep at all. I'm going to try this stuff dreamy sleepy nighty snoozy snooze
04:07dreamy sleepy nighty snoozy snooze
04:11dreamy sleepy nighty snoozy snooze
04:13Yes, it's a brand-based alcoholic chocolate sleeping aid
04:16It's banned in most European countries, so that means it's very good
04:20Well in the meantime, I go and get us both an ice cream that'll calm us down. That'll be nice
04:24Where are you going to get an ice cream though? Oh, there's an ice cream van outside. It is though
04:38It's not going to sell much ice cream out there
04:40Come on Father Cullen get your arse in gear! Father Wilen come on!
04:56You can move faster than that get into it!
04:58For Mr. Todd from there you need shooting!
05:01I'm very tired. I'm 85.
05:07Good God, that's an awful defeatist attitude, Father Cullen.
05:10I'm holding you back for extra training.
05:12You'll stay here until 7. Do 15 laps to the pitch.
05:16But... Off you go.
05:26I don't know. The attitude of those lads.
05:28There was a time when the over 75s team put their hearts into it.
05:31But now they're just...
05:32KICK THE F**KING BALL!
05:36All over the place.
05:40I think Burns' lot have a new fella.
05:42Supposed to be flip-hot and Italian.
05:44Oh, yes. The Italians know about football all right.
05:47And, of course, the world of fashion.
05:49God, Ted, do you remember that fella who was so good at fashion,
05:51they had to shoot him?
05:56Who is Nick Dorley?
05:57Father Jack doesn't turn up.
05:58Nick doesn't turn up.
05:59Our main bloody strike force.
06:01And they're not bloody here!
06:04You wouldn't think Father Jack was any good at football, would you, Ted?
06:07No.
06:08Ah, but then you see him out there.
06:10Beautiful, Clare.
06:11Poetry and mortal.
06:13Did you tell me once Jack had a trial with Liverpool?
06:16No.
06:17He was on trial in Liverpool.
06:19I wonder where Nick is, though.
06:22God, yeah.
06:23I mean, Jack's good, but if anything happened to Nick,
06:25we'd be up to our necks and flip.
06:27And with this new fella on Dick's team,
06:29we need Nick at the very peak of his powers.
06:32So there's no way he'll be able to play?
06:44No.
06:46No, he's dead.
06:51It's completely out of the question, then.
06:53Is it?
06:55Is it completely out of the question?
06:58Come on, Ted, you're clutching at straws.
07:00Come on, lads.
07:02You're right.
07:08Ah, isn't that nice?
07:11Sorry to hear you died.
07:12From Father Hegarty in Chicago.
07:16Does that coffin have a fax machine in it?
07:18Oh, yes, it's the latest thing.
07:20And look at this.
07:22You see, this display here
07:24tells you how long you've been buried
07:26and this one tells you how deep down the coffin is.
07:29Isn't it amazing?
07:31And with these humidity controls,
07:33Father Nick won't start decaying till, oh, sometime next year?
07:37Niall, you've got to stop buying this catalogue stuff.
07:39It's a complete waste of money.
07:42I mean, look, a remote-controlled wheelchair.
07:46Why would you need that?
07:47You'd probably get more use from those fake joke arms you got.
07:50Oh, those.
07:52Well, they seemed funny at the time.
07:56So they...
07:57They reminded me of my own arms.
08:00Fake arms.
08:01Niall, honestly,
08:03what kind of a situation could possibly require
08:05either a radio-controlled wheelchair
08:06or a pair of joke arms?
08:09Only, I would imagine, a completely ludicrous one.
08:12Yes.
08:13Anyway, do you think you can win this match without Father Nick?
08:19I don't know.
08:20He has a great partnership with...
08:23Had.
08:24He had a great partnership with Father Jack up front.
08:27God, if Dick Byrne wins.
08:29We're using the forfeit system again.
08:32Last year when we lost.
08:34Dick made me photocopy my own rear end.
08:41Excuse me.
08:42They'll never let me back in that library again.
08:48Hello?
08:50Oh, it's for you.
08:51I am going to win again, Ted.
08:53Ha!
08:54That's what you think, Dick Byrne.
08:55But we've got some...
08:56Oh, wait a minute.
08:57How did you know I was here?
08:59Damn you, Father Dick Byrne!
09:00Yeah, all right, all right.
09:01More bad news, Dougal.
09:02Oh, that's what you think.
09:03Ha!
09:04That's what you think, Dick Byrne.
09:05Ha!
09:06That's what you think, Dick Byrne.
09:07But we've got some...
09:08Oh, wait a minute.
09:09How did you know I was here?
09:10Ha!
09:15Damn you, Father Dick Byrne!
09:26Yeah, all right, all right.
09:28More bad news, Dougal.
09:29Oh, no, no, no, no.
09:31I've just been speaking to Father Ned Fitzmaurice.
09:33He tripped on a paving stone and one of his kneecaps fell off.
09:38There's no way round it.
09:40I'm going to have to put him in goal.
09:44God, Ted, I can't wait for tomorrow to get back into the old physio role again.
09:48Running onto the pitch with the magic sponge and doing all physio-type things.
09:53Dougal, do you know exactly what the sponge does?
09:57It...soaks up germs.
10:04Dougal, I don't want you to take this the wrong way.
10:06But I was thinking of a new role for you this year.
10:10Right.
10:12Erm...I'd like you to...
10:16Keep an eye on the corner flags and make sure no one steals them.
10:19Oh, thank God for that.
10:21I thought you were going to give me something completely stupid to do.
10:25Wow.
10:27Watching the corner flags.
10:28Big responsibility.
10:29Football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football.
10:37What you men see in it, I don't know.
10:39A load of men kicking a bit of leather round the field.
10:43You men.
10:45The things you think are great fun.
10:47Like going to the films.
10:49A load of men sitting round looking at films.
10:52And roller coasters.
10:54A load of men in a roller coaster going up and down on a big metal track.
10:58And sailing.
11:00A load of men in a big boat floating round in the sea.
11:04And shouting.
11:06A load of men going around shouting.
11:09And so forth.
11:11Well, Mrs. Doyle, there's more to football than you think.
11:15In fact, I got you a book about it.
11:17Oh.
11:24All right, Father.
11:26I'll give it a go.
11:29Good, Ted.
11:30Jack's been like that for a good long time.
11:31He wouldn't be dead again, would he?
11:35Ah, no.
11:36He's probably just dreaming of his old sporting days.
11:53More water.
12:01Well, today's the day.
12:13Got the hang of it yet, Dougal?
12:15It's harder than you think, Ted.
12:17The trick is to try and keep your eye on it.
12:19Bye.
12:21Ah!
12:23Aaaaah!
12:25Aaaaah!
12:27Aaaaah!
12:29Aaaaah!
12:31Ah, hello, Ted.
12:55I was just eating my breakfast.
12:58Dougal, that's a fib.
13:04What are you really doing?
13:06I...
13:07I've lost the flag, Ted.
13:09I just put it down for a second, and the next thing it was gone.
13:12Oh, Ted, you're going to have to give me an easier job.
13:14It's just too much too soon.
13:18Dougal, look at Father Jack.
13:22Would he give up so easily?
13:23Would he?
13:24Look at that steely determination.
13:27That air of defiance, that...
13:29I've just realised Jack's been asleep for 14 days.
13:33Oh, my God!
13:47He's drunk an entire bottle of dreamy, sleepy, nighty, snoozy, snooze.
13:55Go on, my son.
14:00Well, there he is, Ted.
14:16Father Romeo Sencini.
14:1817 caps with the Vatican over 75s.
14:22Looks after himself.
14:23Drinks only very, very fine wine.
14:25Can climb two flights of stairs unassisted.
14:27Needs only one nun to help him get out of a chair.
14:30You haven't a chance.
14:32That's what you think, Dick.
14:34We've put Father Hackett through a rigorous training schedule.
14:36He's never been fitter.
14:37Ha!
14:38Move!
14:39Father!
14:40Father!
14:41Please wake up!
14:42What are we going to do?
14:43I can't believe we're in this completely ludicrous situation.
14:46LAUGHTER
14:47LAUGHTER
14:49arbeit
14:51MUSIC
14:52schaftżer
14:53svæ’
15:15God Almighty, Mrs Doyle, how could you find this type of thing interesting?
15:24That's what I thought.
15:26Sit down.
15:27But look at this.
15:33Ready?
15:35Ready?
15:35Ready?
15:45Ready?
16:15Close them down! Close them down!
16:25Oh, Mary! Have we got me glasses?
16:33Sensini's got an open call. If we don't do something soon,
16:36he's going to score within a matter of minutes.
16:45Oh, where did he come from?
17:01Get rid of it! Get rid of it!
17:05Turn around! Concentrate on the game!
17:09Is that Father Crilly? Hello, Father!
17:22Someone's going to have to get tighter on the Italian.
17:25Go wide! Go wide!
17:28You're not singing! You're not singing!
17:38You're not singing any more!
17:42You're not singing any more!
17:46Hang on! Hang on!
17:49Typical Italian.
17:51He sent the keeper the wrong way!
17:53He sent the keeper the wrong way.
18:23All right listen up now I know you're tired I know you have to be back in the home by eight but just remember one thing you are carrying the whole of craggy island on your shoulders metaphor Jim it's a metaphor didn't mean it listen to try not to jump into the flow here now I want you to go out there and play the best game of what remains of your lives
18:53I want you to get Dick Burns team and rip them to shreds metaphor again Jim now get out there and let's lick some arse kick some arse
19:05We're gonna win sir I think I gotta want a souvenir of this game go get me a corner flag
19:17Go get me a corner flag
19:20Yes
19:21Yes
19:22Yes
19:23Go
19:26Go
19:41Go, Father Jack, go!
20:11You're shit, man!
20:35Off and go! Go on, Father Colin!
20:38What?
20:40No! Go look at me!
20:42You've only got the keeper of bees!
20:46Go on! Go on!
20:48Go on! Go on!
20:50Go on!
20:52Go on!
20:56Yes!
20:58Okay, don't jump and run.
21:02Whoo!
21:04Whoo!
21:06Whoo-hoo!
21:08Whoo-hoo!
21:10Whoo-hoo!
21:12Whoo-hoo!
21:18Whoo-hoo!
21:20Whoo-hoo-hoo!
21:22Whoo-hoo-hoo!
21:24Better luck next year, lads.
21:39You lost, Cyril.
21:42Goodbye, Dick.
21:44Goodbye, Cyril.
21:45Can they not stay and have a drink, Ted?
21:47No.
21:48Dick has to go home and do his forfeit.
21:51The forfeit?
21:52What did you give them, Ted?
21:53Dick.
21:54He has to kiss Cyril on the cheek.
21:58Brilliant.
21:59Cyril won't have a clue what's going on.
22:02Dick will hate having to kiss another man.
22:04He's notoriously homophobic.
22:07Ted, you should have this.
22:08You deserve it.
22:09No, I think we'd better head on home.
22:12I'll go on, Ted.
22:13Have a glass.
22:18Wait a second.
22:19These are fake hands.
22:32Got the forfeit, Ted.
22:34Oh, God.
22:36Dick said it was an extra special forfeit because you were such a big cheating bastard.
22:39All right.
22:41Open it.
22:42Open it.
22:43The tension is killing me.
22:44Ah, don't worry, Ted.
22:45He probably just wants you to clean his car or something.
22:48What is it?
22:49Break it to me gently.
22:51All right.
22:52Ted, by this time next week, you have to...
22:55Kick Bishop Brennan up the arse.
23:02Oh, God.
23:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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