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00:00In our modern digital world, how can we ever really be sure of who we're actually communicating
00:05with? This is a major question that lurks in the back of our minds as we connect with others online,
00:10wondering just how big that gulf really is between the person we're seeing and the person
00:15that exists in real life. From creating fake digital selves for social media to catfishing
00:21people on dating sites and beyond, it's a problem that's started to encroach on so many corners of
00:26our existence. Sometimes it's humorous. I've been in a 10-year online relationship
00:31with the hottest guy in the world. His name is Ace Applebee's.
00:36But as we've begun to see more and more, it can also turn incredibly sinister.
00:41So let's take a deeper look at this problem from a few different angles,
00:44to get a better understanding of what's propelling this issue, and why it's only getting scarier.
00:50It's crazy how having a phone could become the worst thing that happened to me.
00:54People lying about who they are to gain your trust, or even harm you,
00:58has been a human fear since long before the internet existed.
01:01Everybody should have one talent. What's yours?
01:04Forging signatures. Telling lies. Impersonating practically anybody.
01:10The talented Mr. Ripley, for example, is based on Patricia Highsmith's 1955 novel of the same name,
01:16and follows Tom Ripley as he works his way into the friend group of Dickie Greenleaf by pretending to be a
01:21classmate from Princeton, eventually leading to disastrous consequences for everyone.
01:27Hermal Fennell's film Saltburn also taps into the sphere of a usurper weaseling their way into
01:32the closed-off in-group by concealing their true intentions. In both cases, the lies are all a way
01:38to create a new version of oneself that would be more accepted by the people the liars desire to connect
01:44with, and we can absolutely see this play out in the digital world across social strata and group
01:49types as well. And you start with just a slight exaggeration. Still you? Just a shinier version.
01:55So you tweak it just a little more. The internet and social media just add a
02:00technological layer to this. Everyone has the ability to tweak themselves into a heightened
02:04version of their real self, or even a totally fantastical new version, at their fingertips.
02:10While creating a new identity for oneself online was long seen as something nerdy,
02:15Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn't have points or
02:21scores. It doesn't have winners or losers. Oh, it has losers.
02:24With the rise of social media, it's become much more normalized across the board. People can edit
02:30their photos, curate what they post and what they don't, to create a very specific version of
02:35themselves that might be quite different from the way they actually are. I always thought it'd be
02:40better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody. There's even an entire reality TV show based
02:49around this premise called The Circle, where people can use their own real profiles or create totally
02:55new ones on a social media platform in order to be rated the highest by the group and eventually win.
03:01On the one hand, the ability for bad actors to hide parts of themselves or full-on lie about who they
03:07are is obviously a major downside and can trend towards the dangerous.
03:11The one boy that's really liked me and he's a demon robot.
03:15But on the other hand, this freedom gives people the ability to express parts of themselves that
03:20they might feel compelled to hide in their everyday lives, opening up the possibility of living out
03:26dreams that they never otherwise thought possible.
03:28You're a sports writer in Philadelphia? Nice build, too.
03:34Yep.
03:35But of course, all of this brings us back to the issue of how much we can really trust anyone we
03:40come across in this digital realm. Which, of course, always comes back to how much we can really trust
03:46anyone at all.
03:48Who is Sarah and Jay from MacArthur High School?
03:51Me. I'm 16.
03:53Shoot.
03:53Oh my god, you're pretending to be somebody else?
03:56Trying to separate fact from fiction and see all sides of an issue is integral when we're dealing
04:01with interpersonal issues, but also incredibly important when we're engaging with larger issues
04:06via the news. Between the problem of manipulative algorithms and the overload of the sheer number of
04:11outlets, it can be difficult to get a clear picture of any story. That's why we enjoy using this video's sponsor, Ground News.
04:19Ground News pulls together thousands of articles from across a range of topics every day,
04:24allowing you to get a more full understanding of what's going on beyond the headlines.
04:28Take this coverage of stars signing a letter in support of Jimmy Kimmel after his show's suspension.
04:32We can see here that across 203 sources, 50 lean left, 20 lean right, and 81 are in the center,
04:38giving it a 54% center bias distribution. Ground News makes it easy to compare a number
04:44of headlines across the spectrum and see how where you get your news can have a huge impact
04:48on your perspective of a story. For example, many headlines on the left focus on the defense
04:53of free speech, like the Associated Press's hundreds of stars sign letter defending free
04:58speech after Jimmy Kimmel's suspension, while headlines on the right, like the Federalists,
05:02Jimmy Kimmel's defenders are gaslighting Americans, frame the defense of Kimmel as a problem.
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05:52Some people online might lie about who they are just to get more followers, or create a personal
05:57brand around a lifestyle they wish they were living so that they can live vicariously through that avatar.
06:02Or if they hustle hard enough, even make it a reality for at least a little while.
06:07You utter real deal, or I'll f***ing pay home.
06:14That desire to be an ideal version of yourself, or someone else completely,
06:18can also affect our interpersonal relationships, with a little voice in the back of your mind telling
06:23you that if you were just a different person, then you'd be able to find real love.
06:28Well the pics I sent were a little more flattering than I actually am,
06:32and so we just sort of had this online relationship.
06:35But the hair I mailed was mine.
06:37That was true.
06:38This can lead to people making up fake versions of themselves on dating websites.
06:43From small changes like a bit of facetuning on their photos and making their lives sound more
06:47impressive than they are, to straight up pretending to be a totally different person entirely.
06:53She's been pretending to be me, and I've been pretending to be her, and she's been catfishing you this entire time!
06:58But this doesn't always happen out of a deep desire for connection, but instead for more sinister reasons,
07:04like to scam people financially to sow chaos, to exert control…
07:09The film Catfish premiered in 2010, following Neve as he realized that a young woman he met online
07:15was actually a 40-year-old who had been lying about her identity.
07:19This eventually became the basis for the MTV show of the same name,
07:22where he and his partner worked to help others uncover the truth about their own catfish.
07:26Neve told Forbes that the term catfishing came from…
07:29How when codfish are shipped in tanks, they stop moving and their flesh goes so soft
07:33that it's no longer tasty when it reaches its destination.
07:36So the shipper started putting catfish in the tank because it made the codfish start moving around.
07:41Catfish keep us on our toes.
07:43Life without them would be less interesting.
07:46In this, we can see how catfishing can easily be brushed off as not a big deal.
07:51Something weird and maybe off-putting, sure, but mostly just entertaining.
07:55You shouldn't ever call me a fat-ass Kelly Price!
07:59Of course, there's a much darker side to catfishing as well.
08:02The Federal Trade Commission wrote in 2024 that,
08:05Reported losses to romance scams total $1.14 billion,
08:10with median losses per person of $2,000,
08:13the highest reported losses for any form of imposter scam.
08:17People aren't just having to deal with finding out that this person
08:20that they thought they had a connection with isn't real,
08:22but also being harmed financially as well.
08:25The rise of AI has also led to a rise in deepfakes and fake AI bots pretending to be celebrities.
08:30You're so cute when you blush.
08:33Again, that might sound like a choppy Timothee Chalamet,
08:35but it is not him.
08:37Instead, it's a voice generated by an AI chatbot modeled on him.
08:41People pretending to be a celebrity to gain someone's trust in order to scam them
08:45has been a ruse for a long time.
08:47But now, this technology allows them to create images,
08:50voice messages, and even video to convince their victims
08:53that they really are that celeb that just needs a few dollars
08:56because they were locked out of their bank account.
08:58Even if it doesn't have a financial aspect,
09:00catfishing can still be incredibly devastating.
09:03You're not just fooling yourself.
09:05There's someone else on the other side of that lie,
09:09falling in love with a version of you that doesn't exist.
09:12On Euphoria, for example, we can see both sides of the coin.
09:16How the freedom and anonymity of chatting online allowed both Jules and Nate
09:20to converse more openly than they would have otherwise.
09:23But also how traumatic it is when Jules learns the truth.
09:27She felt that she was conversing with a genuinely nice guy that she had a real connection with,
09:31so to find out that it was actually Nate, the guy who bullied her and her friends,
09:35was terrifying.
09:36And add onto that that his knowing the truth about who she was while hiding his own identity
09:41gave him the upper hand in a dangerous way.
09:44I've compiled all these photos, along with an IP address,
09:49and an account that's linked to your name.
09:51As the season went on, we were also shown how, even knowing that it was Nate all along,
09:56it was still so difficult for Jules to let go of this person she had fallen for.
10:01I'm Tyler.
10:04I'm the person that you fell in love with.
10:06While lying about who you are in an effort to develop a romantic relationship is already bad enough,
10:12an even more disturbing of catfishing has also started to become more of a concern.
10:16Parents catfishing their own children. This often seems to stem from a desire to connect with their
10:22children, or live vicariously through their children, or, mostly, control their children.
10:29Take Desperate Housewives, for example, which had a plotline where Lynette catfished her son.
10:33Did you know Porter writes poetry?
10:36Maybe one day he'll share it with you, instead of your fantasy alter ego.
10:41Until then, shut it off.
10:43Here, her choice wasn't particularly nefarious, but instead just out of a desperate desire to,
10:49in any way, connect with her son who was growing up and beginning to shut her out of his life.
10:53After the truth comes out, because she accidentally signs Sarah J's breakup letter to Love Mom,
10:57he is, unsurprisingly, very unhappy.
11:00And then I was Sarah J, and I had you back, and we were talking again, and you were telling me things.
11:06I wasn't telling you anything. I was telling her.
11:10To find out, not only that this girl he felt he had such a connection with was,
11:14not only not real, but was his own mother, was a major blow.
11:18But, because this was a 2000s comedy,
11:20You told a teenage boy that you liked his poetry?
11:24Geez, Lynette, why not just flash him a boob?
11:26They were able to have a chat and work things out pretty quickly.
11:29Unfortunately, this behavior is not just the stuff of writers' rooms, but does indeed happen in real
11:35life. And here in the real world, it often does not have such a happy ending.
11:40Netflix's recent documentary Unknown Number The High School Catfish relays the story of children
11:45Lauren and Owen, who began receiving suspicious texts from an unknown number that quickly developed
11:51into full-blown harassment. Initially, there was suspicion that it was one of the children's
11:55classmates due to the fact that so many of the texts focused on the topic of Lauren and
12:00Owen's relationship, attempting to sow doubt between the two and stating that Owen was going
12:04to leave Lauren for the mystery texter. These were incredibly graphic texts about children,
12:09with many of them referring to lewd acts that the mystery texter was going to perform with Owen,
12:14and telling Lauren to end her own life. Because there was initially no obvious suspect,
12:19everyone came under suspicion.
12:20You had to be careful of every single word that you said or else you could look guilty.
12:25Which led to a number of children having to deal with being labeled possible suspects,
12:29and incurring the wrath that came along with that. After a deeper investigation,
12:33the source of the text was found not to be a student or a random internet troll,
12:37but instead one of the people closest to Lauren, her own mother.
12:42The shock feeling turned into sad, which turned into mad, which turned into crazy,
12:49I don't even know how to describe the feeling. Why would my mom do this?
12:53Kendra never gives a specific concrete reason for her actions. She does seem to try to connect it to
12:59her own childhood trauma, and her fear of watching her own daughter grow up, but why this led her to
13:04inflict trauma on her daughter instead of attempting to protect her, doesn't seem to be something she's
13:09chosen to, or yet been able to, truly analyze on a deeper level.
13:13She also seems to see herself as a victim in this situation to some degree.
13:17I was way too thin. I was not eating.
13:21In the documentary, Kendra's actions are related to Munchausen syndrome,
13:25where a parent makes their child ill to force them to continue to be dependent on and under
13:29control of the parent. Except here, with Kendra doling out psychological damage instead of physical.
13:35Because Lauren would come home upset about these text messages, and Kendra got to play the hero
13:40and be there for her.
13:41Lauren's relationship with her mother is, unsurprisingly, quite complicated.
13:45Trying to square the idea of the parent you love with the reality of this person who has done
13:49so much to harm you can be incredibly difficult. The documentary was worked on over the course of a
13:54few years, and we can see how Lauren's views on the situation and her mother evolve over time.
14:00In initial interviews, she just wants her mom back and for things to go back to how they were before.
14:05In the later interviews, as she's nearing adulthood and has had time to come to have
14:09a better understanding of just how terrible and unacceptable what her mother did to her was,
14:14she has a much more wary view of their relationship. It's easy to wonder how Lauren
14:18could possibly want to have any relationship with her mother after everything that she did,
14:22but given how extreme this instance was, it's unlikely that this was the only or first
14:28instance of abuse within the household. Pulling yourself out of that kind of mindset and
14:32relationship after being raised in it can be incredibly difficult, and will be something
14:37that Lauren will likely have to work through for years.
14:40I think I want to trust her now, but I don't think I can.
14:42Additionally, in all of this, we can see how catfishing can be incredibly destructive to not
14:48only the direct victims, but also entire communities, and is a much more serious issue than it often gets
14:54credit for being. The high school catfish case highlights a major problem victims of online
15:00harassment face. Not being believed. Initially, the children were blamed for what was going on
15:06just because it was the easiest solution, even though they were the victims of what was happening.
15:10And even in romantic catfishing, the victims often aren't met with much pity or understanding.
15:16In fact, it's often just the opposite in that they're told that they brought it on themselves.
15:20Catfishers prey on their victims' desire for love and connection and leverage the power
15:24provided by their own anonymity to become whoever they think will allow them to achieve their own
15:30ends. Even when the victim finally does realize it's not real, they're told it's their own fault
15:35for ever believing it could have been true in the first place. There's no one solution to this
15:40problem of catfishing and fake digital selves, because the issues stem from so many larger societal
15:45problems. We can, however, do our part to work on these things in our own lives and communities,
15:50both to create real-world connection and to make sure that people who do fall victim have places
15:55to turn to. We might not be able to turn around the digital world at this point,
15:59but we can still work to save our real one.
16:02Whatever you do, however terrible, however hurtful, it all makes sense, doesn't it?
16:08In your head. You never meet anybody who thinks they're a bad person.
16:12That's the take! Click here to watch the video we think you'll love, or here to check out a whole
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