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00:00If there's one thing I know, it's how to give good Zoom.
00:09You want a pop of color that says girlfriend likes to have fun, but a level of order that
00:15says girlfriend is in the workplace.
00:19And today's video call is pretty important.
00:22I'm being interviewed for an upcoming feature in Stanford's Alumni Magazine.
00:27It is an honor that's truly humbling, especially for the people who weren't selected.
00:35Hi there, Dr. Joyce Henderson, class of 92, 720 Math, 680 Verbal.
00:40Hi, Joyce.
00:41It's Jeremy from the magazine.
00:43Hey, Jeremy.
00:44You know what?
00:45I'm not seeing you.
00:46Oh, it's just an audio interview.
00:47Did you think it was going to be video?
00:50No.
00:51Did you?
00:57Well, unfortunately, the scans confirmed what we suspected.
01:12When you overextended your shoulder, you tore two of your rotator cuff tendons right here.
01:16Does that mean I can't play anymore?
01:18Dominic's the starting pitcher on the OMU baseball team and a prospect for the minors next year.
01:23Now, the conventional wisdom on irreparable rotator cuff tears is clear.
01:28It's too risky to operate.
01:30Just cut your losses, aim for basic function.
01:32But here's what I think about conventional wisdom.
01:38Ooh.
01:39Ha.
01:40That's, no, it's okay.
01:41Yeah, that's thick card stock.
01:42It's well made.
01:43But, uh, you get what I'm going for.
01:45The good news is there's an innovative new procedure called a shoulder balloon implant
01:50that can restore full range of motion.
01:51The bad news is there's only seven surgeons on the west coast trained to do it.
01:55The good news is I'm one of them.
01:57The bad news is I'm a little hungover today.
01:59The good news is, just kidding.
02:01That sounds great.
02:02Let's do it.
02:03All right, my guy.
02:04I'll get you prepped.
02:05Cool.
02:06All right.
02:07You want anybody here with you?
02:08Mom and dad, maybe?
02:09Uh, nah, they're in El Salvador, but I'll be good, right?
02:11Oh, heck yeah, you will.
02:12I should say there's a small percentage of implant patients that experience chronic pain after surgery,
02:16but you're young and healthy.
02:18You'll be fine.
02:19Yeah, if you don't think I need to worry about that.
02:20I don't.
02:21No, those statistics reflect all surgeons, and you won't have all surgeons.
02:24You'll have Bruce Schwartz.
02:26Who's that?
02:28Okay, who's that?
02:31Very good.
02:33You a ball player or a comedian?
02:35I'll get your paperwork started, Mrs. DeGeneres.
02:38Oh, who's that?
02:40Very good.
02:41Well, when I took over, St. Dennis was ranked 32nd in the state, and now it's 29th.
02:50Actually 28th, because Willamette Presbyterian burned down, so I think the numbers speak for
02:57themselves.
02:58Okay, so is that it?
03:02I guess.
03:03Is that the amount that you normally get?
03:06Just depends on the person.
03:08Next up to this issue is Tiger Woods.
03:10Tiger Woods.
03:11So the alumni feature is going to be Tiger Woods, legendary sports icon, and me, legendary
03:20head of a regional hospital icon.
03:22I'm going to get you all wrapped up.
03:26Keep your legs still, and could you put out your right hand?
03:31Okay.
03:32Palm up.
03:33Very good.
03:34Perfect.
03:36A few things bring me real joy in life.
03:41My rock tumbler, watching an overtly French person fall down, but most of all, the Portland
03:47Trailblazers.
03:48Today they're playing the Warriors.
03:50Damn.
03:50And I hate the Warriors.
03:51I...
03:52Oh!
03:53Commercial's over.
03:54We good?
03:55I think we're good.
03:57So I sign up for emails, activate my account, and then the promo code is welcome.
04:02Dude, just pay full price for socks.
04:05What?
04:06Okay.
04:07On three.
04:08One.
04:09Two.
04:10Three.
04:11Oh .
04:12No, no, no, no, no.
04:13.
04:14So we had a little incident.
04:16Not an incident.
04:17Something has to happen for it to be an incident.
04:19We kind of dropped a guy.
04:21We started to drop him, but I reached out and stopped it.
04:24Well, I did hear a bonk.
04:26There was no bonk.
04:27I got my hand under his elbow.
04:29He either bonked your hand or he bonked the ground.
04:31Either way you cut it, there was a bonk.
04:34Hey.
04:35Do you have a minute?
04:36For you, pal?
04:37I have two.
04:38No, let's say one.
04:39And if you need more, we can always cross that bridge.
04:41Okay.
04:42Um, I'm...
04:43I'm a little concerned that Dominic is not fully aware of the risks of this surgery.
04:48I told him there was a risk of chronic pain, and you were standing right there.
04:51It was the way that you told him, Bruce.
04:53You were very, very confident that it would succeed.
04:56Okay, is that a bad thing?
04:57When a patient's going under, I'm pretty sure they're not thinking,
05:00Gosh, I hope my surgeon is humble.
05:02Okay, but I don't think we should be glossing over the possibility of a bad outcome.
05:05I wasn't glossing over it.
05:06You kind of were.
05:07Look, you care about our patients, and that's very sweet.
05:09Never lose that.
05:10Okay, it's not sweet.
05:11That's like the actual...
05:12Adorable.
05:13Precious.
05:14Take the compliment.
05:15Look, I hear you.
05:16I do.
05:17And matter of fact, I have just the thing to solve this.
05:20Prescription?
05:21Stay in your lane.
05:23Okay, bye.
05:24Refills?
05:25Unlimited.
05:26I'll call it into your pharmacy.
05:28We have fun.
05:30Oh, my God.
05:31Have you seen this?
05:33Tiger's a sensation.
05:35Accomplishment after accomplishment.
05:37Gorgeous choppers, too.
05:39Like two rows of dentine ice.
05:41Joyce, big news.
05:44I have a future baseball star who wants an experimental implant.
05:48Just need your Jane Hancock.
05:49Hold up.
05:50A new kind of surgery?
05:52Oh, no.
05:53Don't worry.
05:54I wouldn't say no, no.
05:55But it is risky and innovative?
05:57No.
05:58Unless you want it to be.
06:00In which case it is highly dangerous and inadvisable.
06:03Okay, let me see that.
06:07Eat your heart out, tiger.
06:10I don't know what's happening.
06:12I'm crazy.
06:13So, I stop by the guy's room and he looks okay, I think.
06:18Yeah, because he is.
06:19Right.
06:20Well, I'll just keep a close eye and when he wakes up, we can tell him.
06:23Nope.
06:24We won't be doing that.
06:25Well, what do you mean?
06:26We have to tell him.
06:27You tell a patient they were dropped, which, again, he wasn't.
06:30And suddenly his neck hurts and he's calling one of those sleazy lawyers from a bus ad.
06:34Sleazy.
06:35But they fight for you.
06:37Plus, we'll end up getting written up for nothing.
06:39Yeah, but it's the right thing to do.
06:41I don't care about a write-up.
06:43I do.
06:44You're gonna take me down with you?
06:45Get us both in trouble?
06:47I guess not.
06:49Jeremy, stop the presses.
06:51Oh, we don't print for like three months.
06:53It's quarterly.
06:54Thank God, because I have a late-breaking scoop.
06:56I just greenlit a wildly experimental new surgery that's gonna help a young athlete achieve his dream.
07:03Really?
07:04That sounds interesting.
07:05Yeah, well, I guess you could say here at St. Dennis, groundbreaking surgeries are par for the course.
07:12Yeah, that'll work well if you put my picture right next to Tiger's.
07:18You feeling, uh, good about your surgery?
07:20Uh, yeah.
07:21I'm psyched you guys can get it knocked out today.
07:23Mm-hmm.
07:24Right.
07:25Uh, and you talked to Mom and Dad.
07:27They're on board and everything.
07:28I didn't want to worry them.
07:30And the doctor said it'll be fine, right?
07:32Yeah, he, uh, you know, he also said it's a new surgery.
07:37There are risks involved, so.
07:39What, you don't think I should do it?
07:42No, I'm not saying that.
07:44I'm not even really, it's not my...
07:45But, like, if you were me, like, you'd do it?
07:49Oh, uh, if I were you, well, first of all, my husband would be in for a surprise.
07:55You know?
07:56Because he's pretty open-minded.
07:58And he'd be like, ugh.
08:00So, sorry.
08:01Listen, I, I, I'll say this.
08:03If you were my kid, I would be a bit concerned, um, just about the possibility of chronic pain.
08:08You know?
08:09But that's just me.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Yeah.
08:13Yeah.
08:14Hey, Alex!
08:15Hey, congratulations!
08:16So proud of you.
08:17Hey, when's the grad party?
08:19What are we talking about?
08:20Oh, how you somehow became a board-certified surgeon in the last hour.
08:24Wow.
08:25And convinced Dominic not to get the surgery.
08:27Oh, you're upset with me.
08:28Is this because I hurt your feelings?
08:29Yeah?
08:30Your fragile ego just couldn't handle me not taking your advice?
08:33Hey, I just wanted him to understand the risks involved.
08:35What risks?
08:36I know what I'm doing.
08:37I'm not disputing that you're an excellent surgeon, Chris.
08:39Well, it'd be insane if you were.
08:40But even excellence...
08:41You'd be out of your gourd if you were.
08:42I'm speaking.
08:43Okay.
08:44Okay?
08:45Mm-hmm.
08:46Even excellent surgeons have bad outcomes sometimes.
08:47Random things can just go wrong.
08:48Like, one percent of the time.
08:49It's basically nothing.
08:50It's not nothing to the one guy in a hundred who now has chronic pain for the rest of his
08:54life.
08:55But that's not gonna happen here.
08:56But it could.
08:57But it won't.
08:58But it might.
08:59But it shan't.
09:00Shan't?
09:01It worked.
09:02Oh, hey, Joyce, the surgery's off.
09:03Yeah.
09:04You can thank Dr. Alex for that.
09:05What?
09:06Now, I guess I'm back to being just the head of some random hospital.
09:09Tiger's gonna love this.
09:16Due to circumstances unforeseen, I'm going to have to retract my addendum to your earlier
09:21reportage.
09:22Sorry.
09:23What?
09:24We're not doing the shoulder surgery.
09:27Oh.
09:28Okay.
09:29Is that it?
09:30Is that it?
09:31No.
09:32No.
09:33I wouldn't just rip away good news without replacing it with something.
09:36Um, we are debuting an innovative vegan option in our lobby cafeteria next month.
09:44So, there's, there's an exclusive for ya.
09:45There's an exclusive for ya.
09:46There's an exclusive for ya.
10:05Hey, doctor.
10:06How's he doing?
10:07Uh, yeah.
10:08He's, uh, good.
10:09He said he's good.
10:10Oh, my gosh.
10:11He's talking again?
10:13He's talking again.
10:14Well, he, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't say that.
10:17It's more of a viable thing.
10:19Thank goodness.
10:20Can you, I, I just need to, can you just, just.
10:23Pick one.
10:24Sorry, what's this?
10:25You said a one percent chance of surgery going badly was basically nothing.
10:28Uh-huh.
10:29There's 100 slips of paper in here.
10:31One of them has an X on it.
10:32Pick one.
10:33Okay.
10:34Fine.
10:35Whatever.
10:36But, if you choose the one with the X on it, then you have to give me one year's salary.
10:41What?
10:42No.
10:43Why would I do that?
10:44Because it's easy to take a risk when you don't have anything to lose.
10:46But, if you really think that one percent is nothing, then, you know.
10:50Fine.
10:51Yeah.
10:52I'm not sure Joyce would approve of gambling in the hospital, but if it means so much to you,
10:55eh, not pre-tax though, right?
10:57Just pick.
10:58It doesn't matter.
10:59It doesn't matter.
11:00Okay.
11:01Open it up.
11:02It was blank.
11:03Of course it was blank.
11:04Oh, I think he got the X.
11:05And the reason I think that is because they all had X's on them.
11:18Ow.
11:19You okay?
11:20Oh, yeah.
11:21You ever have hairs on your head that don't belong?
11:24Just trying to get rid of those.
11:26Hmm.
11:27It's crazy.
11:28As soon as they're gone, you'd find another crop that has to go.
11:29So, I was thinking, since we both agreed to keep our mouth shut about the patient and
11:34we wouldn't want to violate each other's trust.
11:37No, of course not.
11:38Why don't we keep each other honest with some collateral?
11:40You tell me a secret, I tell you a secret.
11:42Oh, okay.
11:43Yeah.
11:44So, we kind of have secrets just between us?
11:47But it has to be something really humiliating.
11:49Uh, okay.
11:50Um, I have this recurring dream where I give birth to my mother and it feels very real.
11:59And as soon as she's out, she starts just wailing with hunger.
12:04So, I have to, you know, feed her.
12:07Great.
12:08Got your ass.
12:09Don't say anything to the guy and you'll be fine.
12:11Wait.
12:12Where are you?
12:13You didn't tell me your secret.
12:15Watching the big game, huh?
12:18Total guy move.
12:19Mm-hmm.
12:20Yep.
12:21We need our sports, right?
12:23We're men.
12:24Mascot's gotta be getting hot now.
12:26You can keep talking, but I will physically harm you.
12:30Hey, Alex.
12:31Boy, nurses run out of coffee.
12:33Am I right?
12:34Mm-hmm.
12:35Oh!
12:36Got my sandwich.
12:37Close call.
12:38Gosh, I probably just saved your life.
12:40Yeah, there was a big study about deli meats increasing the odds of heart disease.
12:43And according to Alex, anything with the slightest risk shouldn't be done.
12:47Nice, Bruce.
12:48Really nice.
12:49He was vegan.
12:50Sprouts and avocado.
12:51A choking risk, then.
12:52You're welcome, Keith.
12:53That's not what I said at all.
12:54Guys, you wanna hold it down?
12:56We're at work.
12:57I just have this crazy thing where I think we should be upfront with our patients about
13:00things that might affect them.
13:01Well, I don't think that's crazy at all.
13:03We owe it to our patients to tell them everything.
13:05Guys, Matt has this dream.
13:07On the other hand, it's important to say nothing.
13:09Hey, did anyone bring an extra lunch?
13:10Well, maybe we should tell people not to drive home.
13:12You seen the stats on car crashes?
13:14Oh, and 100,000 people slip in the tub every year.
13:16So, what, maybe we should stop showering?
13:19Is that what you want?
13:20Just a bunch of stinky people walking down the highway?
13:22I don't think this is about risk.
13:24This is about your ego.
13:25That's funny, because I think it's about your ego.
13:27Everybody stop!
13:28This is a break room, okay?
13:30And if you all respectfully shut the up, it would be appreciated.
13:35Ron makes a good point.
13:37Shut up!
13:40I'm trying to watch the game.
13:43Be sure to call about PT, okay?
13:47Those appointments go really fast.
13:49Hey, I just wanted to say I respect your decision about the implants.
13:54Sometimes it's good to be cautious.
13:56Cool.
13:57All right.
13:58Thanks.
13:59All right, let's get you signed out.
14:00Neil Armstrong.
14:01Here we go.
14:02What?
14:03Oh, nothing.
14:04I was just thinking about Neil Armstrong.
14:06He's kind of a hero of mine.
14:08You know, it's funny, now that you mention it, he also took a risk.
14:11Yeah, piloted a tin can all the way to the moon.
14:14Changed the course of human history.
14:15He also had a team of scientists around him making sure that he was...
14:18Why, but he's not the only one.
14:20The Wright brothers who conquered the skies.
14:22Gandhi.
14:23And his thing?
14:24Yeah.
14:25Yeah, a lot of risk-takers.
14:26Okay, that is true.
14:27Hmm.
14:28It's also true that for every Neil Armstrong,
14:30some other risk-taker takes a joyride down to the Titanic wreck and explodes!
14:34Implodes?
14:35What?
14:36They imploded.
14:37That was nuts.
14:38And what would you know about risk?
14:39She doesn't go to Costco after 3 p.m. because she says the parking lot is too scary.
14:43People there are insane, Bruce.
14:45I am not the only one who thinks that.
14:48No.
14:49No, no, no!
14:51Open your eyes!
14:53Damn it!
14:54It breaks your heart, but you can't save them all.
14:58He's saying I don't take risks, which is crazy.
15:05Like, just last week I bought a pack of bras right off the shelf.
15:08Like, I didn't even try them on first.
15:10Yeah, okay, but see, that seems less like a risk thing and more like a self-respect thing.
15:13Oh.
15:14Alex, I'm on my way to the OR to start Dom's surgery.
15:17I just wanted to say colleague to colleague, tough loss.
15:21You came to the big dog.
15:22I respect that, but you weren't ready for that big dog bite.
15:25All right, Bruce.
15:26I got that locking jaw.
15:27Hey, not neutered, so aggression's way up.
15:29I really don't care.
15:31Ooh, I think she does, nurse.
15:33Okay, come on.
15:34You gotta wear your name badge in a visible place.
15:36It's Parker.
15:37It's too late.
15:38Look, the point is, I won.
15:39I'm sorry that hurts your feelings.
15:41It is insane that you think that this is about my feelings.
15:43Uh, I think if you dig down deep enough, it is about your feelings.
15:46Or maybe I just know what it's like when someone takes a risk and it doesn't work out.
15:50Because I'm the one who takes care of them when they come back in and they're in pain,
15:54or they're hooked on pills, or worse.
15:56But you don't have to worry about any of that.
15:58Do you?
15:59Big dog.
16:07Okay, sir.
16:08Just checking your vitals, blood pressure, heart rate, elbow function.
16:14Elbow?
16:15I had a collapsed lung.
16:17Oh, this is all protocol.
16:18Um, so elbow-wise, we're doing all good?
16:21I think so.
16:22Great.
16:23That's great.
16:24Um, well, let me know if there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable.
16:26No, I'm okay.
16:27Thanks.
16:28Hot chocolate, maybe?
16:29You a Swiss Miss man?
16:30I could also make Nestle happen.
16:31Headline is, I'm here.
16:33I'm gonna take care of you.
16:35Hey.
16:36Hey.
16:37Is everything good in here?
16:38Yep.
16:39Yep.
16:40Super good.
16:41Almost too good, right?
16:42Hey, can we get some problems in here?
16:43He was asking about my elbow?
16:45And his heart rate.
16:46Tell her about your heart rate.
16:49Hey.
16:50I'm in peace.
16:52I'm invested in Dom now, so I just wanted to see this through.
16:56Uh-huh.
16:57I'm serious.
16:58I'm just here to be supportive, so good luck in there.
17:03Uh-huh.
17:04Looks like they're all ready for you.
17:07Uh-huh.
17:08Well, just have to scrub a few more spots.
17:11I think you got all the spots there, bud.
17:14Well, I want to make sure my hands are clean, okay, so I don't mess up and, uh, you know, ruin this kid's life.
17:20What the?
17:21Out of soap.
17:22Great.
17:23Cool.
17:24Cool hospital.
17:28Okay, talk to me.
17:29What-what's going on?
17:30I don't know.
17:31I just-I can't stop thinking about what you said.
17:33I know.
17:34I'm as shocked as you when your words have impact.
17:37I just keep picturing this kid out on the streets, lost his scholarship, sold his baseball equipment for drug money.
17:44Let's step back.
17:45Eventually.
17:46He sells the only thing he has left.
17:47Himself.
17:48All right.
17:49And soon he becomes the top prostitute in Oregon.
17:51But he can't even take pride in that distinction because he could have been so much more.
17:54Why is this my life?
17:56Oh, okay, listen, you-you talk about, you know, colonizing Mars, right?
18:00Well, it doesn't have to be Mars.
18:01It could be one of Jupiter's Mars.
18:02Okay, whatever.
18:03Listen, but that is-is gonna take big risks.
18:06Oh, yeah.
18:07You know?
18:08And-and a certain breed of person.
18:10It's not gonna be the Mazurkians.
18:11I'm sorry, your last name is Mazurkian?
18:13Yeah.
18:14No, why?
18:15Okay, listen, th-there's a kid in there on that table, right?
18:19And-and he needs help.
18:20So, tell me this.
18:21If that were you in there, would you trust you?
18:26There's nowhere in the world I'd trust more.
18:28Then you know what you need to do.
18:31Hm.
18:32Well played.
18:34Hm.
18:38Hey, Alex.
18:39Yeah?
18:40Let someone know about that soap dispenser, will ya?
18:42It's empty.
18:43No.
18:44Thanks.
18:46There's a chance this will all blow over.
18:48There's also a chance that Matt will end up bald, penniless,
18:51and inviting this guy to live with him.
18:53Come on.
18:54Let's tell him what happened before you fully lose your mind.
18:57Seriously?
18:58You're turning into Smeagol, so yes.
19:00So, there's no damage or bruising, and your vitals are totally normal,
19:04but we just wanted you to be aware.
19:06Okay.
19:07Well, thanks for the heads up.
19:08Of course.
19:09I mean, it's the least we could do.
19:10I really appreciate you telling me.
19:12It's rare to find somebody so... honest.
19:15Oh.
19:16It's nice.
19:17Oh.
19:18Well, no biggie.
19:19It is a biggie.
19:22I'm Will, by the way.
19:24Serena.
19:28And I'm Matt.
19:29Hm?
19:30Yeah, feels good to tell the truth.
19:31The patient took it well.
19:33So well that he and Serena have been talking for...
19:3626 minutes now, which is very cool.
19:39Very cool.
19:43He's making her laugh, and I told her I breast viewed my mom in my dreams.
19:46So...
19:50Ron?
19:52We need you on 106.
19:53Can it wait 8.3 seconds?
19:55Well, it is a seizure, but I'll see if he can hold it in until you're ready.
19:59You always got a little something to say, don't you, Parker?
20:01Nobody talk to me or do anything.
20:04Whoa!
20:06Warriors at the buzzer!
20:08Hell of an ending!
20:10Whew!
20:12Game that close, everybody wins.
20:14Keith.
20:15Hi, Joyce.
20:16I'm calling to retract my retraction because the surgery is back on, baby.
20:29Okay.
20:30Good to know.
20:31Thanks.
20:32I'll tell you about something.
20:33The much-heralded vegan option is not a done deal yet.
20:36We're already doing halal and kosher, and it's a lot.
20:39So I just wanted to get out in front of that before your fact-checkers sharpen their claws.
20:46Yeah.
20:47At the end of the day, I was probably in my head for nothing.
20:49And if I had to guess, I bet Tiger was just as worried about stacking up to me.
20:56Zero Olympic medals for this guy. Yikes.
21:00Okay, subacromial space is ready.
21:03Inserting balloon through the lateral port.
21:06And perfect.
21:08So Dominic's surgery went well, and I'm really happy for him.
21:11And you know what? Yeah, maybe I could stand to take a few more risks in my life.
21:14Scratchers, I never do this.
21:20Oh, .
21:22It's $5 down the drain.
21:25You know what? Just one more.
21:27I gotta get my money back.
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