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00:00testing testing tim tam tommy told tales at twilight it's an exciting day at saint dennis
00:12the internet sensation colby twill is going to be performing a free show for our pediatrics
00:19unit you can't buy pr like this twilight twilight can you hear me all the way back there
00:27yep twilight
00:31okay i need everybody on their a-game today we've got a reporter driving in from portland
00:51this is not going to be a typical friday at the hospital today our actions matter
00:56take a look at this the last time we were featured in the oregonian it was all the way down on page
01:0119 today we have the opportunity to land right smack on the front page this could read saint dennis
01:08wows kids with free concert wait they passed the salmon ban you gotta be kidding me my roommate
01:14works at a cannery he's pissed huge overreach in my opinion enough enough ron have you prepped the
01:21green room for colby oh yeah room temp bottled water and two kinds of nutrient bars okay that's
01:26not what i asked you to do i wanted a charcuterie board with a flight of local jams i'm not gonna
01:30worship some famous internet guy just to impress the last six people read the paper are you guys
01:35trying to sabotage this opportunity come on are we afraid of a little success joyce we're gonna make
01:41sure everything goes great thank you it's just crazy that some bean connor from salem gets to decide
01:46how we catch our fish last thing i'll say am i wrong no you're not colby 12 i'm so excited okay
01:54yeah it's my day off and technically the concert is supposed to be for patients but ella did this
01:59project at school recently where she had to interview one of her parents for their job
02:03and she chose tim who sells grass seed i mean i get it you know they're able to spend more time
02:09together than we are because i'm always here but today she's at mom's job so you know i'm really
02:15hoping that hanging out with me is more fun than uh grass oh look at the stage
02:21hello matt hi i'm matt so when are we gonna hit up the club dance with some rando
02:33we're already going to our favorite club after uh cold stone creamery
02:38they're filming you i know are you excited for colby 12 yeah he's so funny it's kind of random he's
02:45coming here it's not that random and of course she's excited she's getting to skip school for a
02:49concert my mom let me skip school for 13 years but then the state got involved
02:53okay uh we're gonna go get settled so
02:56colby tool baby yeah my niece got me into it she's uh got a bunch of emotional problems so
03:06she's really into the internet and now i'm actually meeting him she's so pissed
03:10should i have invited her eh she's a lot anyway i've always said that surgeons are the celebrities
03:17of the hospital so i have a feeling that colby and i are gonna get along famously pun very much
03:22intended all right jam time get out of here it's an ad right now but hmm so i just need you to put
03:31on a smile and play nice with colby when he gets here i will treat him just like any person i meet
03:35at the hospital with dignity empathy and shut up move your ears hi mr twill colby hi hi dr joyce
03:45henderson i'm the one who spoke with your management yeah it's nice to meet you that's a sick blazer
03:49oh isn't it it is it is very sick oh this is dr ron leonard hey nice to meet you thanks for having
03:57me yeah well it's uh nice to meet you he actually seems pretty nice good manners he does have a
04:04moderate size lump on his neck which could be an early sign of thyroid cancer so a lot of surprises
04:11okay everybody smile there it is all right guys thanks enjoy the show cool guitar hey 12
04:18schweitz sounds like a pretty good duet yeah what oh it's when two people sing the same song
04:24hey it's dr bruce schweitz trauma surgeon huge trillionaire oh appreciate it bless man listen i
04:30gotta you know it's funny uh you keep taking some candies yeah i think we're pretty similar you and i
04:35you heal people through music and i heal them through well healing them you know whoa whoa whoa
04:39whoa give us some space here can't we just wait until after the concert to tell him i mean is it
04:47really a right now problem well we're in the hospital right now and he has a potentially cancerous
04:52neck lump right now so as times go right now it's looking pretty good what if we just wait a couple
04:57of hours you want to wait a couple of hours to tell someone they might have cancer isn't that a bad look
05:02who cares how it looks how is anyone even going to know the we have to do this right now ron ron
05:10we've got to do what's right and that is that end of discussion
05:15wait so you're saying i might have throat cancer no not throat thyroid yes very close to the throat but
05:27not the throat oh my god i gotta make some calls okay you know it's probably nothing
05:32but the good news is here at st dennis we have the best doctors in eastern north central oregon and
05:38as soon as the concert's over we'll give you a full workup hey joyce um there's now serena okay but
05:43we serena no i can't do this i don't think i could perform right now i'm just gonna be thinking about
05:48my rotting neck and i okay you know what it's not a question of rot if it helps it's more your neck is
05:54growing too fast you actually are having too much neck important point is we can take a look at you
05:59straight away the concert can wait sure yes your health is more important thank you ron
06:05yeah want to come with me yeah thanks of course of course
06:08hey so um this is what what is so goddamn important uh this is the reporter from the
06:17oregonian hi i'm andrew yeah you are pleased to meet you welcome in let's get you a cake pop
06:22listen up listen up we need to kill some time on stage before colby i've got a reporter out
06:30there staring at an empty stage i need to give him something my cousin plays a fiddle and sings
06:34pretty good but he does live in saskatchewan then why are you talking does it have to be a singer
06:39hector does an amazing bill clinton impression terrible idea really bad i could dislocate my
06:44shoulder and pop it back into its socket okay someone else talk besides keith matt what's up with
06:49you i can't be seeing the whole picture can i um i used to do some magic in my basement but my
06:55parents don't allow illusions so i've never performed above a whisper great there's cards in
06:59the break room go you know i don't usually broadcast this but i do a little stand-up i have what we
07:04comedians call a tight five make it a loose 10 let's go i feel your pain that's how he does it
07:10so funny right isn't this so cool you're here at the colby concert and your friends at school are
07:17all like oh the cosine of the angle is equal to the high pop move small oh here we go all right
07:23saint dennis who's ready for colby twill
07:27well great because he's going to be here later oh come on you didn't think we were going to bring
07:36colby out cold did you this is more of a coachella type vibe featuring the homegrown talents of saint
07:44dennis and now a guy who really puts the funny in funny chaplain uh uh chaplain steve
07:53thank you yes what is up saint dennis ever notice how you can't say anything anymore look at this
08:01guy he's already offended anyway here's a list of accents and what i think they mean about each
08:06country nope thank you chaplain steve what a thrill okay i'm gonna go get our next act so talk amongst
08:16yourselves so what's uh what's going on with your girls huh haven't seen maddie around the house lately
08:22she moved to dc mom already i thought that was next can i have your phone yep here you go yeah
08:27you know ella's gonna be a teen soon and it just feels like i'm losing her i used to take her to
08:32the zoo and let her use that machine that flattens the pennies she just loved it i guess i'm just
08:38chasing that zoo penny high you know someone just texted me uh i guess surgeons are kind of like the
08:46celebrities of the hospital lol what does that even mean so we're just putting your insurance
08:51paperwork through then now your ultrasound technician has one patient in front of you cool thanks not
08:57cool sorry you can bump that nobody we got a vip here he doesn't wait you wait you really don't
09:02have to do that yeah we're not bumping anyone he's a regular patient like everyone else uh regular
09:06patients don't do promoted posts for hello fresh run right uh please just like do whatever you normally do
09:13i don't need special treatment oh okay good hey i know it's not a good time but can i get a selfie
09:19this really isn't a good time i understand maybe just cover the lump
09:22hey is colby going on soon oh absolutely yeah have you been watching this guy he's getting some
09:37pretty good air with those things and he dropped it yeah we see that sorry i just thought he was going
09:42on at noon well that was the plan but you know how celebrities are just gotta head out soon i'm
09:48covering a ribbon cutting for the new ice rink and it's all the way back in portland oh
09:51okay um let me just give it the old check-a-rooney
09:55it's here if you want it
10:00ron there you are what the hell is taking so long with colby
10:11excuse me have you never been to a hospital before we're waiting on his insurance company
10:16to get back to us oh never mind that just give him whatever he wants bill it to the hospital it's on
10:21the house i need him down on that stage making headlines saint dennis helps colby help kids his
10:27dreams come true that's a terrible headline okay just get him back down there see this is the problem
10:32a celebrity shows up we give them whatever they want we pay for everything open tab meanwhile i got
10:39an er full of patients who can't even afford basic services they're the ones that need help i mean we should be
10:47hold on a second ladies and gentlemen and also children forget everything you know about reality
11:01that's enough smoke carlos i've studied a lot of famous magicians blaine angel pen not so much teller
11:07and there's one common thread magicians must be mysterious small child choose a card
11:14and prepare your mind ace of hearts nope sorry i was unclear choose a card from the deck
11:20and prepare your mind ah she's chosen a card but what card will it wait okay i'm sorry you're
11:29supposed to show the audience so that they'll know what it was it was the nine of clubs
11:34you know let's just start over prepare your mind alex hey there she is forgot her name again what no
11:44listen how many patients are we sitting on with non-coverage denials like a lot so joyce just told
11:49me to bill any services colby 12 wants directly to the hospital okay so what if it just so happens the
11:55services he wants are the exact services our uninsured patients need would be like a shopping
12:00spray yes but we have to move now okay ella um listen i need you to come with me for just a little bit
12:06okay i don't want to miss colby i promise i just need you to watch me work for just a little bit all
12:11right come on about reality yes five more minutes now open your eyes sorry was this your card i don't
12:19remember it was it was her card this guy sucks who hey come on now he's trying his best he's just not
12:30that good at it some people like to tell stories while they whittle not me okay this is a show
12:41but luckily uh colby's gonna be here soon that'll be good because the reporter guy seems like he's
12:47ready to bounce oh no no no okay serena do you think you could occupy the attentions
12:55of our journalist friend you want me to flirt with him i didn't say that out loud on it nothing overtly
13:02sexual okay well feel it out feel it okay you know what you're doing yeah working an oregon
13:09guy super easy just bring up rei coffee beans ipas or the dune movies and they just go wild
13:17also applies to lesbians all right i'm just gonna be a second so you can just hang out here and watch
13:22not bridgerton no i think phone time is over okay just hang out all right baby you can't touch that
13:28don't touch that you can't touch anything actually it's a it's a sanitation issue sorry should i need to
13:34go back to school what hello it's okay it's french bread pizza day and uh you're just working now
13:41so no honey i promise that today is gonna be way better than that okay better than french bread pizza
13:48don't write a check you can't cash just do this fast before she hates me forever these are all the
13:53patients that can't afford specialists and screenings great cold them all to 12. and um mrs falco 111 could
13:59really benefit from a cervical exam screw it code to 12. okay cool
14:09it's crazy yeah they send you a new bag of beans every month
14:13well they're probably not single origin or anything no they are single origin andrew you may have just
14:19saved my mornings now find me a place where i can buy a decent carabiner wait have you not been to rei
14:25what's that shoot i really have to get going but it was so nice meeting no no no no no you can't go
14:33anywhere colby's coming i really need to get to this ribbon cutting the mayor's going to be there so
14:37so what what's the biggest thing that's going to happen there someone's going to take the giant scissors
14:41and chop his head off uh-huh do you really have to go i mean we're just starting to oh okay muscles
14:48didn't see those but i can definitely feel them i i could probably leave in like 10 minutes
14:56how are you this strong i play pickleball once a week oh my god yeah all right i've got another
15:01code twill here facial laceration that could benefit from plastics hey if this is all freezing i could
15:06also get some lip filler counter offer i can leave the hook in and we can move on to someone else
15:10damn it can you get these patients over to x-ray i will stop yep holy crap pretty gnarly right
15:18and it wasn't an accident i was targeted uh no no thank you she doesn't need to see that appreciate
15:23it twill featuring schweitz or schweitz featuring twill good work hey leaving so soon oh yeah no
15:30surprises on the ultrasound so it's showtime so they didn't find anything on the ct scan ct scan what you
15:36didn't order ct well i figured we get the initial screens and go from there wait so i'm not in the
15:41clear yet well medically speaking we are kind of sure you're in the clear a ct scan would just make
15:46us very sure but kind of sure is still pretty sure i don't want to be a hassle but but but i feel like
15:52being you know very sure yeah with you i'd like to be very sure yeah that might be good oh sure it would
15:57be so good i'll go tell everybody it'll just be a smidge longer okay thanks all right uh hey how much
16:04money you make on youtube it depends on what the definition of the word is is that was also him
16:11uh please throw out your trash
16:15okay that was our last act before uh colby comes out which is going to be any minute how about some
16:22trivia you want to play some trivia candace i need you to expedite labs in five and twelve
16:27uh raj i need a full autoimmune panel in 20 holly take mrs edmunds down for a chest x-ray
16:32code it to twill go go go okay but there's a huge backup right now so my no you tell dr lee we
16:37have a level two priority patient in need of urgent imaging and don't you budge until he takes her
16:41okay all right knees to the breeze holly go go go go alex i gotta go to radiology get these to the
16:45lab stat we're on borrow time i've got to take him down for a pet skin ron who am i gonna send
16:54okay honey i am so sorry to do this but i need you to take these down to the lab for me okay
16:58wait really yes really there is a big metal door that says laboratory on it and a judgy guy named
17:04carlos that's buying some glass okay if he gives you any pushback you tell him i sent you my name
17:08is nurse alex not mom is this all people's blood yes it is am i allowed to do this you are not don't
17:14tell anybody we so fun so fun okay bye-bye all right mr harris here we go okay just stay very still
17:20oh is that something feels like something right come on colby get in on this what you got no that's
17:29all right i'm fine stop moving all right he's just talking to me stop okay
17:35gotta stop moving colby give me an r r what's that spell say dennis regional medical center
17:44woohoo yeah hey this was kind of excuse me i don't know what this was but i'm gonna slip out
17:55it was nice meeting you oh wait um i actually wanted to uh show you something come with me
18:02you'll see all right yeah awesome okay that's wait my tonsillectomy story hopefully yours will be
18:10better hey kids this is andrew uh don't know your last name but he's from the newspaper
18:20so andrew's gonna help us get hyped up for colby okay so when he says saint you say dennis
18:26uh saint oh come on colby's not coming out until he hears more love than that again saint dennis
18:35dennis saint dennis why are we in a library louder yeah saint dennis saint dennis saint dennis
18:46dennis saint dennis saint dennis
18:55yeah all right we are pumped yeah yeah saint dean
19:06sorry for the way guys i uh i i had kind of a scary morning but a really great doctor helped me out
19:14today dr ron leonard clap it up for dr ron leonard thank you dr ron come on trillionaires you're
19:22ready to start this show how do you feel thank you lord let's do this game
19:31so that was colby twill and those were his songs
20:02look my parents didn't understand the beatles so okay
20:11so the doctor was able to tell that just from looking at his neck that's wild not to me i've
20:16always known that saint dennis has the best doctors in eastern north central oregon period
20:21of course you're the writer you put the period wherever you want
20:35dookie deep nope dad colby twill was amazing yeah i had to watch mom work at first but it was pretty
20:47cool she used to clean the house voice unlike adults pretty cool that's a direct quote so
20:53yeah definitely a zoo penny day well colby was a hit and today we got a front page story better than i
21:02could have hoped for but most importantly the kids loved it and also you can't put a price on good
21:08publicity he was worth every cent we spent on his jesus what the is wrong with colby twill
21:15cervical exam it's none of my business
21:25you
21:27you
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