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02:03Evet.
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05:48...yazıdan pazarlanmış.
05:50...benizde kullanmak için gerek yok.
05:53...yazıda da şu anda bir hamster.
05:54...yazıda etkiler, bu kadar rahat bir şey var.
05:57...yazıda da bir şey var.
05:59...yazıda da JOEYU'u bir şey var.
06:00...bizde de bu nefek için çok şey var.
06:05...ben bir American'de oğuluşmuz, Percy Spencer,
06:08...durmanın World War II.
06:09...yazıda da bir şey oldukça ve 340 kilo kısım var.
06:13...yazıda da bir şey yok.
06:15...sak bir şey var.
06:18Bu ne?
06:19Bu ne?
06:20İlk olarak kullanma bir tanım var.
06:22İlk olarak, en çok ayakta bir şey yapmak için bir şey yapmak.
06:24Evet.
06:25Ve burada, ''Bing''
06:28''Tamamı''
06:29''Tamamı''
06:30Bu ne?
06:31Bu ne?
06:32Ne?
06:33Bu ne?
06:34Bu ne?
06:35Bu ne?
06:36Bu ne?
06:37Bu ne?
06:38Bu ne?
06:39Bu ne?
06:40Bu ne?
06:41Bu ne?
06:42Bu ne?
06:43Bu ne?
06:44Bu ne?
06:45Bu ne?
06:46İlham bir şey.
06:48İlham bir şey.
06:51İlk bir şey.
06:53Bir şeyde değil.
06:56Bu ne?
06:58Bir şeyde kalmanın başlığını.
07:01Bu ne?
07:03Bu ne?
07:04Bu ne?
07:06Bu ne?
07:07Bir şeyde.
07:08Bir şeyde.
07:09Bu ne?
07:10Bu ne?
07:11Bu ne?
07:12Evet.
07:13Bu ne?
07:15İngiltere bakış, Phil.
07:19—ay anglesin? —'Cause biz yaratca yaşıyoruz.
07:22—'Buyla bakışımızın insanları çayıfak оказlamışı için.
07:26—'Buyla bakışımızınlar.
07:27—'Buyla bakışı.
07:29—' flightsizyetine bakışı mı?
07:32—'Buyla bakışınlar.
07:34Çünkü artık yariyeti tarikaya.
07:36Her趋ada outdoordağın domanda,
07:38çoğundurlar.
07:39Çoğu yer alçağında fırakışı bir tane.
07:41Ama şimdi bu harika,
07:435,000 pounds in today's money
07:45And that's where we get the expression big wig from
07:47He's a bit of a big wig
07:48So what would your technique be do you think?
07:51First I would get a monkey for some reason
07:55Yes, that is one way of doing it
07:57They often train small children and animals to steal them
08:00So you might get for example a child
08:03In a basket carried on somebody's shoulder
08:06Be just the right height to whip the wig off
08:08And then the wig snatching team would run in opposite directions
08:11Wig snatching team?
08:12I know
08:13I would be more subtle
08:14So first thing I might not want the person whose wig I'm seeing to know
08:17So I'd want to swap it for something of the same weight
08:20Really, really quickly
08:21Like Indiana Jones just the...
08:23Yeah, yeah
08:24On the head, yeah
08:25Or I would pretend I was a wig inspector
08:27And say you've contravened some rules for wigs
08:33Or say I've got... I think you've got fleas
08:35Can I get rid of them for you?
08:37And then I've got it, haven't I?
08:39Or what about if you put velcro on the inside of a tunnel or a bridge
08:43And...
08:46As people walked through they'd be like
08:48Lovely, going through here, going through here
08:50Suddenly in the light
08:51Yeah
08:52It's gone
08:53Where is it?
08:54It's stuck in the tunnel
08:55But by that point it's too...
08:56Yeah, you've closed the tunnel
08:57You've closed the tunnel
08:58Yeah
08:59You've only got to wait 200 years for somebody to invent velcro in your office
09:02I like the people who go through the tunnel going through here, going through here
09:05Yes, that's what I do in tunnels
09:07I would run up and say
09:08Your wig's on fire!
09:09It's on fire!
09:10It's on fire!
09:11Give it!
09:12And then I grab it
09:13Yeah
09:14Imagine being...
09:15I like that
09:16Imagine how undignified it would be like
09:17Don't you dare...
09:18You give me my wig back
09:19I know what you're doing
09:20You're trying to steal my wig
09:22Go through here, going through here
09:24Stop that man!
09:25He's got my wig
09:26So jostling somebody was one way of doing it
09:28You get two boys and a dog, for example
09:30One boy jostles a bewigged man
09:31The other grabs the hairpiece, tosses it to the dog
09:33And they all go off in different directions
09:35So you might see a dog running past with a wig on?
09:39Why do you think wigs were so popular?
09:41People had terrible heads
09:45Because there was no conditioner back then
09:46So everyone's hair looked terrible
09:48Lysy and scabby
09:50A lot of it's to do with syphilis
09:51Syphilis was rampant
09:53Oh, yeah
09:54It caused men to lose their hair
09:56What?
10:03I don't know what you mean
10:06Wig crime, why did it stop?
10:08Wigs when they're out of fashion?
10:10Correct
10:11Two points
10:13So there was a supposed wave of detergent theft
10:15In the United States in 2015
10:17There was supposed to be a great wave
10:18And people were stealing
10:19And they had to lock it to the shelves
10:21Was that because of drugs?
10:22Well, so there was one police officer
10:24Who said he had seen people buy drugs
10:26In exchange for sort of six bottles of detergent
10:29Like the Daz doorstep challenge, isn't it?
10:31LAUGHTER
10:34Would you consider swapping your usual heroin
10:37For six bottles?
10:39LAUGHTER
10:41QI wash
10:42I imagine that's always been popular
10:44I mean, it's something everybody needs
10:45It's untraceable
10:46It's easy to steal
10:48You can get rid of all the evidence
10:49Yes
10:51I was in the supermarket the other week
10:53And the bottles of olive oil
10:55Were in Perspex cases
10:58Lockboxes
10:59Wow
11:00On the shelf
11:01Because they were ten pounds each
11:03That's the state we're at
11:04I always thought like the price of
11:06When people talk about the price of oil going up
11:08I didn't know they meant extra virgin
11:10LAUGHTER
11:11Oiling yourself up for a hot spatula
11:13Is more expensive than anything
11:14LAUGHTER
11:15Well, you'd want to be oiled up
11:16If you had a hot spatula
11:17You would
11:18LAUGHTER
11:19In 18th century London, it was easier for crime to pay
11:28Ohhhh
11:30Ohhhh
11:31I like that
11:33It kind of slid off the edge of the...
11:35Just that noise
11:36Now
11:37What wouldn't you want to find in a hairdresser's pocket?
11:40Er...
11:41The husband's phone number?
11:43LAUGHTER
11:45I'm not saying they're all hussies
11:46No
11:47Some of them are
11:48Statistically
11:49LAUGHTER
11:51More hair that they stick back on when you're not looking
11:54Because then you've got to come back
11:55That's how they get
11:56Weirdly
11:57What happens is you go off on a tangent and get quite close to the real answer
12:00Oh
12:01OK
12:02The whole show is about waves
12:04What were waves, early waves in the hair?
12:06Perms
12:07Perms, absolutely right
12:08Early perms, short for permanent wave
12:10And they were sometimes called pocket perms by hair stylists
12:13Because it was such rough chemicals
12:16That what would happen is that large chunks of hair would break off
12:20And the stylist, instead of telling you that
12:23Would grab it and not want you to know and stick it in their pocket
12:27So you wouldn't...
12:28Yeah, and you were sticking up from earlier
12:29Yeah
12:30Have you ever had a perm? Have you had a perm?
12:33I wanted a perm, Mum wouldn't let me
12:35Why?
12:36Because she's a bitch
12:38Oh, you'd be a very good therapist, Sandy
12:49Right to the heart, people, one question
12:53My mum's... I'm under such strict instructions to never mention her in any of my comedy
13:05Right, and I'm trying so hard and I can't believe that slipped out
13:08I can't believe that slipped out
13:10Does she watch QI?
13:11She does watch QI and she's a really lovely woman
13:14What's her name?
13:15Gail
13:16Gail
13:17Can I just say we'd like to dedicate this whole show to you
13:21And we're sending Sarah home with a perm
13:27So the very first perm machine was invented by a hairdresser called Charles Nessler
13:32In 1909 in Paris
13:35That's a milking machine
13:39The thing is, he didn't really bother about health and safety
13:42His wife was his very first volunteer
13:44And he burnt all her hair off
13:46I don't know
13:47Yep, scalded and blistered her scalp several times
13:50He blistered her scalp, it's so...
13:57Sorry
13:58Sorry
13:59He basically applied an alkali substance to his client's hair
14:04So he started with cow's urine
14:07Mmm
14:08Later moved to borax
14:09That is the chemical we use today in laundry detergent and for rat poison
14:14And then he wrapped hair around heavy rollers which were 100 degrees centigrade
14:18But each one of those rollers weighed a kilo
14:20And so he had to have that contraption, the counterweights to try and take the strain off the head
14:25And they had to sit like that for six hours
14:27It's impressive she won Miss America with art on her head
14:33Now, can you recommend a reliable way of having a brainwave?
14:40I always find just as I'm about to go to sleep
14:42The most relaxed I could be while still conscious
14:44That's when I'll think of something
14:46Business people say that they call it the shower principle instead of being in water
14:50Okay
14:51That's big
14:52So between you, you've had an idea
14:53Which is quite exciting
14:54Tom!
14:55Yes
14:56About water and being on the edge the precipice of something
14:59Sitting on the edge of a bar
15:05That's how they came up with the idea for the towel
15:09There's a professional inventor in Tokyo called Dr Yoshiro Nakamatsu
15:14And he comes up with his best ideas underwater
15:16Okay
15:17But his method is to bring himself to the brink of drowning
15:21Right?
15:22He believes that the lack of oxygen is what engenders his creativity
15:26He says half a second before death I visualise an invention
15:29And he dives down with a waterproof notebook and pencil
15:33His own invention and he sketches out his ideas
15:35He's applied for three and a half thousand patents in his time
15:38These are his boots that he invented
15:40What do you think they do?
15:42Are they for stealing wigs?
15:45100% could do that because they're just for bouncing
15:48So that was his idea?
15:49He nearly died
15:50For that
15:51Yeah
15:52So does someone else wake him up?
15:53Like how
15:54Who's in charge of the
15:55Okay, he's about to die get him out
15:57I think he just comes out of the water at that point
15:59So he's in control of all of this
16:00This is the theory until he dies
16:02I mean unless he drowns himself
16:03And that might be his very best idea
16:04And we never would know
16:05He stays for an extra half a second
16:07Oh
16:08It's kind of like auto-erotic asphyxiation
16:11But for ideas
16:13At least that's what he says
16:15He bursts out of the water and says
16:16Bouncing shoes! Bouncing shoes!
16:18Is that it? Is that what you've come up with?
16:22And then he runs into Dragon's Den sopping wet
16:26His soy sauce spray bottle I think is very clever
16:29You can evenly spritz your sushi
16:30That's quite cool
16:31Oh, that's a good idea
16:32Yeah, that idea
16:33But it's not worth nearly dying, is it?
16:34No!
16:35When there's other ways of getting soy sauce on things
16:37Those little fishes
16:38Yeah
16:39They are good
16:40Yeah, but you get the rice
16:41The rice gets soaked and it falls apart
16:43I don't mind if he drowns him by accident
16:46Because that's a really good invention
16:48Okay, he also invented an electromagnetic condom
16:52Again, fantastic
16:53Fantastic
16:54Does it cure syphilis asking for a friend?
16:56Does it cure syphilis asking for a friend?
16:57Does it cure syphilis asking for a friend?
17:06Is that just so you can find true north?
17:09I
17:11Currently, what do I know?
17:12The motion of copulation induces a small current in the bloodstream
17:15And that increases pressure
17:17Would you have to plug it in?
17:19Charlie, you don't want to be plugged into the mains
17:27Well, that's how
17:28Well, that's what I'm thinking
17:29After getting out an extension lead
17:31Oh
17:32What I love is that the elves know
17:34They're sending me a message saying it's wireless
17:35Thanks, guys
17:36Anyway, he calls himself Dr Nakamats
17:45Since he was 42
17:48He has taken a photograph of every single meal that he has eaten
17:52I'm glad he said meal
17:54I don't know what he was going to say
17:55I mean, have you been on Instagram?
18:00That's what everyone's doing
18:01Yeah
18:02Did he invent that as well?
18:04He's been doing that since he was 42
18:06He was in his mid-90s
18:07Oh, wow
18:08But he analyzes his food and lifestyle
18:10And says he will reach the age of 144
18:12Oh
18:13There is an extraordinary culture in Japan though
18:16Of sort of curious ideas
18:17They have a word for it called chindogu
18:19And it means weird tool
18:21The selfie stick is one that came out of Japan
18:241995
18:2520 years later was, you know, they're ubiquitous
18:27There is a hay fever hat
18:29Oh
18:30Super cool
18:33So you've each got a prop next to you
18:35See if you can guess what they are for
18:37These are weird tool inventions
18:39That hay fever hat is by Kenji Kawakami
18:41I mean, mine are
18:43Right
18:44So, Phil
18:46Present
18:48That is a daddy-nurcer
18:50That is a daddy-nurcer
18:51It's called the daddy-nurcer
18:52It's great but actually there's all kinds of people
18:53Who might want to breastfeed their children who can't for whatever reason
18:56People who adopt or people whose milk just doesn't come in
18:59Or they don't have a big enough supply
19:01So I know it's really silly but it's also quite a beautiful invention
19:03Hmm
19:04Right, what have you got Alan?
19:05I mean, they're plastic glasses and they've got little funnels on them
19:08Mm-hmm
19:09So you could pour
19:11Erm
19:13Eyedrops in?
19:14He's exactly right, darling
19:15They are eyedrop funnel glasses so that you don't spill
19:19That's amazing
19:20That is a good invention
19:22That is a good invention
19:23You know
19:24Together, Alan, we could get some pretty precise milk in those eyes
19:27Yes
19:32Very clean eyeballs
19:34What have you got, Sarah?
19:35Well, I've got a toilet plunger but it's got a ribbon on so you know it's a girl
19:40What do you think you might do with it, though?
19:42It's not a toilet plunger, I can tell you that
19:44Is this to get my milk to come in?
19:46It is a portable subway strap, so what you do is you're on the subway
19:54You stick it to the roof
19:55No
19:56Stick it to the roof
19:57I worry it's not going to be...
19:58Oh, hello
19:59No, no
20:01So if you put it above your head
20:02Yeah, but there's nothing there, so
20:03It would be like
20:05I see what you mean, so just...
20:07Yeah, put the phone
20:08When you have to get off, that must be difficult
20:10To be like...
20:11Yes
20:13Right, what have you got, darling?
20:15Now, there should be some toasters, isn't there?
20:16Oh, yes there is
20:17Oh, I didn't know if that was serious
20:18I thought you'd ordered a snack
20:21Open the stick
20:23Oh
20:24Yes, and have a look
20:25Oh, I bet I know what this is going to be
20:27Is it butter?
20:28It's a butter stick for buttering your toaster
20:30Oh, look, it works
20:31Oh, that's good
20:32Oh, look, it's lovely
20:34And would you take this with you to events?
20:39You're not so QVC, you know
20:41It's so...
20:42It's so...
20:43Lovely
20:44It's so elegant
20:45And...
20:46I think if I saw somebody with that
20:48I would think, gosh, I wish I was them
20:51Then you can do a little bit on your wrists and your neck
20:56Oh, yes, that's true
20:58Maybe put it on your spatula
21:00Lipstick
21:01Yeah
21:02Or if you were swimming the channel, you could put it on your chest
21:04Yeah
21:05It's a really good idea
21:06I think we're all trying to use less single-use plastic though, aren't we?
21:09You could make it of wood
21:11Or another fabric which was a material which was more...
21:14Denim
21:15Denim
21:16There's a lot of denim
21:17I'm convinced
21:18Yeah, I think there's a market in that
21:20I can't understand why the two of you have not made a fortune so far
21:24I've got other things as well, what's that?
21:27Those are just tissues in case you get butter on you
21:29Now
21:30Right, it's time to wrangle with the tangle that is general ignorance
21:35Fingers on buzzers, please
21:37What happened when War of the Worlds was first broadcast on the radio?
21:42Yes
21:43Everybody panicked, they thought it was real
21:48They set you up, man
21:49They set you up
21:50Is it the case that it was a news bulletin about it that caused the panic
21:55and not the actual broadcast?
21:57I mean, the whole thing is a sort of myth that's built up around it
21:59Ah
22:00So Orson Welles, who you can see directing, this is a rehearsal
22:02and you can see him directing it
22:03Because it was about an alien invasion and people thought it was real
22:06Well, they did and they didn't
22:07It was 1938, it was trailed for weeks as fiction
22:11and Welles told people before the broadcast and after the broadcast that it was fiction
22:15It was interrupted four times to tell the listeners, it's just a play
22:19And anyway, only 2% of the population listened to it
22:22Aliens would say that though, wouldn't they?
22:24Yeah, that is true
22:25They were invading, they would say, it's just a play
22:28Imagine if that happened with other TV programmes
22:31Imagine if like every five minutes in Gavin and Stacey they had to turn around and go
22:34I'm not really called this, my name's James
22:37There were very few isolated incidents
22:40Wells agreed to compensate one man from Massachusetts for a pair of shoes
22:44Since he had spent the money he had saved for a pair of shoes to get a train ticket to escape the Martians
22:50And he said, I'll buy you some shoes because you're an idiot
22:53Ten years later there was an actual riot after a radio adaptation of the same play in Quito, Ecuador
23:02But, you know, this was much more understandable
23:05There'd been no warnings
23:06There was a sister newspaper that had deliberately posted fake UFO sightings
23:11The play used impressionists to pretend to be actual politicians and so on
23:15And that riot did result in seven deaths
23:17But the original, 1938, everybody was pretty much fine
23:22Now, where would you find the longest heatwave in living memory?
23:27Sahara Desert, that's hot, isn't it?
23:29Yeah, it is
23:34Spain, have you seen A Place in the Sun?
23:38Do you remember our Japanese inventor, Dokkan Nakamatsu?
23:41Oh, yeah, of course
23:42Japan
23:43The Underwater Doctor
23:44It...
23:45Underwater
23:46Water is the longest heatwave on Earth
23:48It was in the North Pacific, so off the western coast of the United States
23:51It lasted 711 days from 2014 to 2016
23:56So we get a large mass of unusually warm water
23:59It's basically a heatwave for the sea
24:01Oh, I just thought it was someone weed in the water
24:03But it's very bad when it happens
24:05So algae thrives, which is very bad news for lots of species like salmon
24:09And they swim away to somewhere colder
24:11Someone needs to put their arm in and just swoosh it about
24:13Yeah, just keep getting it moving
24:14Get it up the other end of the bath
24:17But if the fish go because it's too hot or it's too unpleasant
24:20Then the seabirds die
24:21And during that heatwave
24:23It was the cause of the biggest known mass die-off of a single species
24:27Four million guillemots died
24:28So, I mean, we need to pay attention
24:30The way in which marine heatwaves are defined as quite different to land heatwaves
24:33Land heatwaves
24:34It's a period of at least five days when temperatures are at least five degrees above average
24:39So, 2013 Antarctica had a heatwave reached heights of minus 30 degrees Celsius
24:45Yeah
24:46The longest heatwave that we know was in India
24:48And that lasted in 2024 lasted for 24 days
24:51There was a British heatwave 1976, which was remarkable
24:55I remember it well
24:56Oh my goodness
24:57And so there was a minister called Dennis Howell
24:59And he was made the Minister of Drugs
25:01Oh!
25:02Look at the colour of his bathwater!
25:05He was charged by the then Prime Minister James Callaghan to persuade everybody to use less water
25:13And even persuaded to do a rain dance on behalf of the nation outside number 10
25:17That's when politicians really gave it their all
25:20Anyway, days later there was an enormous amount of rain after his dance
25:25And he was made Minister of Floods
25:27Are they not taking it seriously in the old days?
25:30I don't know because two years later he was the Minister of State for Snow
25:33So he did all the weather
25:36Yeah
25:37That guy
25:38And this was a professional picture?
25:39This wasn't like...
25:40This wasn't like leaped
25:42I don't know if it's his Tinder profile
25:45Erm...
25:46What's the largest animal in the world that's not a whale?
25:53Christopher Biggins
25:55I love Christopher Biggins
26:00Biggest non-whale on the planet
26:02Is it still in the water though?
26:03Yes
26:04Oh...
26:05I'm going to say an octopus because they've got those really long tentacles, haven't they?
26:09OK, I can tell you it's about one and a half times the length of a London bus
26:13It's always buses, isn't it?
26:14It's always buses
26:15Oh, jellyfish
26:16It's always jellyfish
26:17The biggest non-whale on the planet is a whale shark
26:20We're always talking about buses
26:22Yeah
26:23Right?
26:24And I don't want to do that
26:25So what we're going to do is we are going to use people
26:28So what I do when I come out at the beginning of the show
26:30I learn the names of everybody in the audience
26:34Which is nice because then I can speak to them
26:35So Joe, where's my friend Joe?
26:37Right, so Joe is going to hold up a sign at this end
26:40I want to show you how big a whale shark is
26:44And then where is my friend Neil?
26:46Thank you Neil, darling
26:47So Neil's going to stand up
26:49So from Neil to Joe, that is the size of a whale shark
26:55However, this is not even cracking into the top ten of animals
27:00Obviously, we have to go to the large blue whale for something really big
27:04And I don't think we've ever been able to do this before
27:06But my darling, could you go all the way to that wall with your sign?
27:11Thank you so much, Neil
27:12And if he walks all the way to that wall
27:15There, that is the size of a blue whale
27:19Do you not think that is remarkable?
27:21And we wanted to show you rather than tell you
27:23It's just so many buses
27:25So well done boys, thank you so much
27:27All of which wibbling and wobbling brings us to the straight matter of the scores
27:37Oh, is it the end?
27:38Yeah
27:39You won't want to know the end because in last place
27:43All washed up with minus 27, it's Tom
27:49Oh, I'm so happy
27:51Oh, goodbye
27:52In third place on the brink of a wipeout with minus 19, it's Sarah
27:56In second place, wavering on the edge with minus eight, it's Phil
28:02Oh
28:03Our winner tonight, riding the wave
28:09With a whole minus four
28:11It's Alan
28:13So I wave goodbye to Sarah, Tom, Phil and Alan
28:25And I leave you with this wisecrack from the late former US President Jimmy Carter
28:30My esteem in the country has gone up substantially
28:34So that now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers
28:38Thank you and goodnight
28:39Thank you and goodnight
28:40Thank you and goodnight
28:41Thank you and goodnight
28:42We'll see you next time
28:43Thank you and goodnight
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