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00:00Music
00:05Music
00:10Music
00:23to QI where tonight we're having a whales of a time with whales whales and whales let's meet the
00:42natives a zesty Welsh rabbit Kiri Pritchard-McLean
00:45a snappy Welsh dresser Ellis James a fiery Welsh dragon Griffiths Jones
00:57and a very Welsh name but he's from Essex Alan Davis
01:05let's hear their whales songs Ellis goes
01:14here he goes
01:22Griff goes
01:29and Alan goes
01:37right let's begin with an easy one Pwysyn Sharad Qumrai
01:52I mean it does sound like I've been drinking
01:58did I say that wrong Ellis no you made a very good attempt I thought
02:02right a stab can you say it for me Pwysyn Sharad Cymraig Pwysyn Sharad Cymraig
02:07yeah so some of our panel will know that that means who speaks Welsh according to the last census
02:13there are 538,300 Welsh speakers in the UK that's just under 1% of the UK population
02:19but it's about 1 in 6 living in Wales is your first language
02:23first language language I would speak with my mum and dad and my sisters yeah
02:27and did you ever get told that you shouldn't be speaking it
02:30no no that certainly happened to my parents generation
02:34but it was the language I was educated in at school
02:37Griff do you speak any Welsh?
02:38I mean I maybe what do you think?
02:49that means I'm sorry I don't speak any Welsh in fact I've no idea what I'm saying
02:54and Kiri let's get your credentials
02:59well I'm a Welsh learner so but I live in a very Welsh speaking area of Wales so I do speak it on a daily basis
03:06but I wouldn't say to any great level and I spend a lot of time nodding and smiling
03:11and agreeing to all kinds of things
03:13I can tell you
03:14no idea
03:15well I do that in English
03:17well the language is on the rebound because in the early 19th century they tried to suppress it
03:23yes my grandparents were well they were beaten in school for speaking Welsh
03:29they encouraged the idea that Welsh was sort of an uncivilised language
03:32yeah
03:33and it should be eradicated because it was holding the nation back
03:36so people thought they were doing the best thing for their children
03:38by stopping them from speaking Welsh which is really sad
03:41well I mean there were riots they were known as the Rebecca riots which took place in the 19th century
03:46and it's men as farmers I think
03:48yeah dressed as women that was a toll booth thing
03:50yeah
03:51the toll booths were prohibitively expensive
03:54so a lot of farmers thought well we'll just knock them down
03:57they needed a disguise so they dressed up in their wives car thing
04:01yeah
04:02I don't blame the women
04:03to any young farmers event you'll know it's any excuse for Welsh men to put a frock on
04:07yeah yeah yeah yeah
04:08and the toll booths was just a very handy excuse at the time
04:11yeah
04:12like this dress won't wear itself
04:14see I think it's a wonderful thing I would certainly learn Welsh if I was in Wales
04:17do you feel a sort of a jealousy that Essex doesn't have its own kind of lingo
04:22they've got plenty of lingo
04:24oh
04:26literally obviously literally obviously is the bane
04:30they're literally obviously
04:32yeah obviously obviously you can't turn around to me obviously
04:35and literally literally you can't turn around and say that
04:38that's perfect sense
04:41a perfect sense
04:42two people could say that to each other for hours
04:44I think we've established that Alan and I don't know anything
04:48so we are going to play a quick game of which Welsh word is which
05:00so we're going to have a list of words put up here
05:03and we're going to choose one
05:05that's just a list of anagrams
05:07it's wonderful isn't it
05:08let's choose bottom right
05:09let's choose penglog
05:10how do you say it?
05:11penglog
05:12oh correct
05:13oh
05:14why she's like a native
05:15and let's go round
05:17Kiri what do you think it means penglog
05:19well
05:20I know
05:21no no no no no no
05:22we're going to try and guess
05:23yeah but I was going to make it seem like a no for all of them
05:25oh I see
05:26okay
05:27this is like all my bluffs
05:28I'm playing to win
05:29I've got some wet wipes
05:33this will be the prize
05:34I don't know why they give me wet wipes
05:37I don't know what I might have done sitting here
05:39they give me the wet wipes as well
05:41do you have them as well?
05:42yeah
05:43just since we've got a little bit older
05:45yes
05:47yes
05:48yes
05:49yes
05:50and you've got wet wipes
05:51no too young and relevant
05:52yes
05:53yes
05:54yes
05:55right
05:56go for it penglog
05:57penglog
05:58skull
05:59skull
06:00Ellis
06:01er
06:02that feeling you get
06:03when you've had one pint too many
06:05okay
06:06and Griff
06:07it's the u-bend
06:09in a toilet
06:10right
06:11yeah
06:12yes
06:14yes
06:15yes
06:16yes
06:18yes
06:19yes
06:20yes
06:21yes
06:22yes
06:23yes
06:24because
06:25It didn't I doesn't feel like a thing you'd have a word for but then I have been to Wales quite
06:31By about six o'clock on a Saturday most people are pengglob
06:34I'm gonna go with Griff
06:36It's a you Glen
06:37Just because the toilet goes glog sometimes
06:39Fine, okay, pengglob
06:41So the toilet's a bit pengglob
06:43Yeah
06:44Okay, is that right?
06:45It's onomatopoeic but wrong
06:47Oh, so who is it?
06:49It's me
06:50You were double bluffing! It means skull
06:52It means skull, yes
06:53Okay, all right, let's try another one
06:54Let's try
06:56Clostinoddy
06:57Top of the middle, how do we say it?
06:59Clistnoddy
07:00Clist?
07:01Clistnoddy
07:02So close to rude
07:03Okay
07:04Clistnoddy
07:05Right, Griff
07:06Hemorrhoids
07:11I'm gonna go with that, yes
07:12When you come back from the shop and the one thing you went to buy you've forgotten
07:22Baked beans
07:23Emorrhoids
07:24Emorrhoids
07:25Baked beans
07:26Or the thing you forgot that you're meant to get
07:28Ellie, okay
07:29Dimedalty
07:30Cala
07:31Er
07:32Ataba
07:33Nah
07:34Nah
07:35Nah
07:36Okay
07:37Okay
07:38This is why they banned it
07:39The producer speaks in my ear and says none of you have given the correct definition
07:55We had a conversation and I said you were meant to give the right answer and he went well, it wasn't me
08:02Okay, we didn't do this word
08:04Who's got the right out nobody's got the right answer. I mean, I know that I don't say this
08:26What is it? It means to ring fence area mark. Oh yours was much more interest. Oh, yeah, that's very good
08:32All right, let's try one more and see if anybody actually knows what it means. Let's try
08:36Mfrostio, which is a kind of cereal
08:41How do you say it? Mfrostio. Mfrostio. Right, hear me. Mfrostio is to defrost
08:49Okay, to defrost. It means to boast
08:52Or to show off. Griff? To go swimming in Pembrokeshire
08:55Alan, what do you reckon? Well, I like the sound of Griff's one. It's a very beautiful part of the world
09:07Pembrokeshire. I love Pembrokeshire. So, I'm going to go with that one. Let's go with that. Is that right?
09:11No, that's not right
09:14Incorrect. Oh, it's the other one
09:16Yeah, it means to show off or to boast. Okay, I like that
09:19And now from the language of whales to the language of whales
09:23Could anybody please give me your impression of a sperm whale communicating with a killer whale?
09:28You can do what you want, mate. You're a killer whale
09:32I'm just sperm
09:34It'd be said, my head's too big for you
09:38That's too big, you'll break your jaw. Try it
09:40Why is my eye so far back from the front? My eye has ended up really in my tummy
09:50Anyway, apparently I have it on good authority. The sound that sperm whales make is more like
09:57Yeah, sorry
10:01Anybody know the other name for killer whales? Orca
10:03Orcas, absolutely right. So they tend to eat smaller fish basically but very rare occasions they will attack a sperm whale
10:09Even though it is, you know, twice the size and they live in quite large groups
10:12How do you think that the sperm whales protect themselves from the killer whales?
10:17Ejaculate
10:25The thing is
10:27A powerful jet of ejaculate
10:29The thing is you're so close to the right answer
10:34Oh, I'm always close
10:39I mean just because it's a sperm whale it does ejaculate other things it does throw out other things what might it be?
10:45Oh, do they wee on it?
10:46Not oil, not wee, what's the other thing?
10:48Er, they might
10:48Poo
10:49Poo
10:50Poo
10:50It is called
10:51They shit on them
10:52They do
10:55It's called defensive defecation so
10:59I've been up to that for years that's why I've got the wet one
11:02What they do is they form into a huddle with their heads facing into the centre
11:13And they put all the youngest and most vulnerable members of the group into the centre
11:18Then as the orcas attack they release massive amounts of diarrhoea
11:23Is this really a thing they do or are they just crapping them?
11:27Yeah
11:27Yeah
11:28It's like what if
11:29What if they've just been?
11:33And they're like oh god why didn't you attack me five minutes ago?
11:36I'm ready to go
11:37The mum's in the middle going just have a try for me please
11:42They've seen this in Western Australia researchers
11:44Not only do they spread diarrhoea out they then flap their tails like this
11:47And the orcas just the orcas just bugger off
11:51You would
11:52Yeah
11:52Absolutely not eating that
11:55So it's known as flocculent
11:58Which means it's woolly but it just means it's got little tiny pieces in it
12:00So it's bits that have not been digested well
12:02But Kiri you get a point of talking about the mum's weirdly saying come on you can do this
12:07Oh I thought you were going to say because you've done it
12:08No
12:08You can see at Pembrookshire
12:13Both the sperm whales and the orcas have a matrilineal system
12:16So it's basically it's an older female or a matriarch and she is the respected leader of all the pod
12:21She's the mama the mama is in charge
12:23Yeah
12:24Mama the pooper
12:28You shit and you shit
12:34So we're talking about different kinds of food who communicates by wobbling their melons
12:39Which one do you think it might oh is it is it the beluga it is the beluga and I like that you just did that because that's kind of
12:45They look like they need colouring in
12:46So they live in the arctic
12:48Similar kind of food which one is the beluga it is the beluga and I like that you just did that because they look like they need colouring in
12:52So they live in the arctic similar kind of length and weight as a volkswagen beetle. Okay, there's a kind of how big they are
13:06And so they have these big bumps on the front of their heads
13:07They're made of a waxy fat and they can change the shape of it at will and that is how they communicate
13:13They order them 30 times more often when they're socializing than when they're alone the latest research shows
13:17Let's have a quick look because it is sort of astonishing
13:19Oh
13:21oh
13:23oh
13:25oh
13:27oh
13:29oh
13:31oh
13:33oh
13:35oh
13:37that's what my kids are like when they have an ice cream
13:45Brain freeze brain freeze
13:47So it seems to be associated with courtship, but obviously there is a whole language there that we haven't decoded looks painful
13:53I
13:55Can't
13:57Say yes or no
13:59What's the best way to upset a japanese whaler?
14:09Well, I just thought it's impossible to isn't it upset a japanese
14:13Yeah, because imagine you're a japanese whaler and the people say what do you do and you go
14:17I harpoon whale
14:19Okay
14:21It must be as hard as nails
14:23Right, so that's one kind of whaler
14:25What other kind of whaler?
14:27Oh, that's in bob marley and the whalers
14:29Okay, japanese bob marley tribute
14:31Pants
14:33Do we have footage?
14:35I hope we do
14:37Who else whales?
14:39Oh mourners
14:41No, babies
14:43So in japan whaling babies are regarded as really healthy
14:47Now is there anybody who speaks japanese in the audience while we're doing this
14:51Yes, I'm japanese
14:53Am I going to say something in japanese?
14:55Can you see if you can understand me?
14:57Naku ko wa sudatsu
14:59Crying baby is growing
15:01Oh, I got it right
15:03Crying babies grow
15:05Yes
15:07Crying babies grow
15:09So
15:11Crying babies grow because the screams of a baby is supposed to ward off evil spirits
15:15And since the high-end period of 8th to the 12th century
15:17They have had crying competitions which are called gonaki sumo
15:21Two babies are held in front of each other until one of them cries
15:27Right and the last 30 years or so these events have taken place at a Shinto shrine
15:32And what happens is fully kitted out sumo wrestlers each hold a baby and shout naki naki naki or cry
15:40The first baby to cry is the winner
15:42And if they don't cry then other people put on scary masks and make them
15:50Biggest of these festivals is at the asakusa temple in tokyo
15:54There's no prize and yet people enter a sort of ballot to be the ones to put their babies in for this
16:00The prize is a huge amount of therapy as an adult
16:03Yeah
16:05Now what is this Welsh woman selling?
16:09Oh
16:11Yes, Ellis
16:12Soap
16:13Is absolutely right
16:14Yes
16:15Yes
16:20This is the picture that hangs in every Welsh home at one stage or another
16:24Yeah
16:25Yeah, yeah, yeah
16:26And if you look at it there's the devil in the arm
16:29Yeah, that's exactly right
16:30Let's start with the soap
16:31Yes
16:32Soap
16:33Every single relative of mine has this framed in the house and I thought as Welsh people we just loved it
16:39As a nation we looked at that painting like yeah, that's art. That's where art begins and ends actually
16:44But it was given away with soap powder I think
16:47Yeah, sunlight soap powder so the painting was actually purchased by Lord Leverhulme and they own sunlight soap and it became
16:54Often the only piece of art in a Welsh home
16:57Is that why all my family has it? I didn't realise
16:59Yes
17:00God, this is a revelation isn't it?
17:02Yeah
17:03And my uncle was amongst the dirtiest people I've ever
17:07It's a painting from 1908 it's called Salem and it is by Sidney Vosper
17:11It depicts the Salem Baptist Chapel
17:13Oh in North Wales, yeah
17:14It's in Gwynedd
17:15For years I was told the reason you could see the devil in her shawl was that she was late for chapel
17:21Yes
17:22Then someone pointed out to me that if you look at the clock she's actually about five minutes early
17:28How many faces can you see in this picture?
17:30Oh well there's one, two, three, four, five, seven, eight, eight, eight
17:34Oh there's someone in the window
17:36That's it, let's have a quick look
17:37So if I just come over and show you so if you have a look
17:39You want a piggyback?
17:41Manu
17:42Have we got a ladder darling? Can I have a ladder to get?
17:46Can I have a ladder?
17:47Seriously?
17:48Oh this is rather good isn't it?
17:49Oh that is good
17:50Low pressure, high pressure
17:52So there's supposed to be a face there but also what were you saying?
17:54Griff you were saying about in the shawl
17:55Yes apparently there's a face
17:56So theoretically this is the beard here and this is the eye and this is the horn of the devil but I don't know
18:01The painter said he was but he denied it and said there was no such thing
18:03Was that a thing in your family?
18:04Did you say that there was a devil in the shawl?
18:05Oh yeah
18:06Oh yeah
18:07Oh yeah
18:08I was also told that if you could see the devil that meant you were cursed but that's what happens when you have two big brothers
18:09We were talking about the hats, how many hats are depicted in the painting?
18:121, 2, 3, 4 hats there
18:131, 2, 3, 4 hats there
18:14Here and this is the eye and this is the horn of the devil, but I don't know the painter said he was but he denied it
18:21Said there was no such thing. Was that a thing in your family? Did you say that there was a devil? Oh, yeah
18:25Oh, yeah, so I was also told that if you could see the devil that meant you were cursed
18:29But that's what happens when you have two big brothers
18:34How many hats are depicted in the painting I went to three four hats
18:45No, by the time this painting was done so 1908 Welsh hats had gone out of favor
18:50They were only able to find one. So everybody wore the same hat. I did a Welsh history module for my degree
18:57And I remember reading that I were peasantry in terms of fashion. We were a hundred and fifty years by the English
19:06Mean I know the feeling
19:09What's the last thing male whales need when they're having sex
19:14Foreplay yeah, because if it's extended they're underwater and they're running out of breath aren't they you don't want a very long
19:24Get a breather and come down and start all over again
19:27These creatures are the size of a fully loaded 18 wheeler truck
19:33Okay, and no one had ever seen them having sex
19:38So two humpback whales first time anybody had ever seen them having sex was in 2024 of 20 24
19:44Yes, off the island of Maui in Hawaii because they mate in very very deep water
19:48This is the only time it has ever been seen that two humpback whales are having sex and they're both boys
19:54So the answer is what does a male whale not need to have sex a female is the
20:07Well, I just like the idea that the gay ones are just a bit more exhibitionist they're like should we go upstairs?
20:11It's so interesting that you say the gay ones because that is not how scientists think right so same-sex behavior
20:19It's known in at least 261 species
20:21So it's in walruses and seals and dolphins and all of the scientific speculation is all they're playing they made a mistake
20:28He just fell
20:32Reducing tension
20:35What's his fur whale tripped over
20:41Anyway, so the documenting of same-sex behavior has often been colored by the moral code of the particular researcher
20:47My favorite is a 1987 study of homosexual mating in monarch butterflies in the atlas mountains of morocco
20:54Which was published as a note on the apparent lowering of moral standards in lepidopatra
21:03Male fruit flies have sex with each other in a conga line. I'm just saying
21:08And that is a welsh stag do
21:16In other breaking humpback news they have recently been found to be using tools
21:21So if I define a tool for you using an external object that isn't attached to anything to change the shape
21:27Position or condition of something else
21:30What tool might humpbacks would it be a humpback scratcher?
21:35How big would that need to be?
21:38Okay, it's really clever. It's bubbles
21:40So what they do is they dive down below the prey and they swim in circles and they release bubbles from their blowhole
21:48Have a look at this. This is incredible
21:50It creates a rising curtain in which the prey so we're talking about krill and small fish
21:55They can't or they won't swim through it and then they swim up through the middle and catch. I mean, it's
22:02Unbelievably clever and they can shrink the mesh size if you like in order to make it harder for the prey to escape
22:08I like that we've gone back to the porn picture
22:11Humpback food comes bubble wrapped
22:22From bubbles to baubles
22:24Have a look at these crowns
22:25The one on the left is queen mary's crown and the diamond in the front there is the kui nur
22:31The fabled treasure of the mughal emperors the one on the right is the imperial state crown
22:37So the red star on the front is known as the black prince's ruby and like the kui nur diamond
22:41It comes originally from afghanistan
22:43It was actually worn by henry v at the battle of agincourt
22:46But have a look now at the golden orb atop the coronet of the prince of wales
22:52Where do you think that came from?
22:55Was that designed by lord snowden who had a lot to do with the prince of wales and that investiture?
23:01Didn't he designed everything to do with it?
23:03Well, so it didn't happen until 1969 this particular one was designed
23:07So it is perfectly possible that he had to do
23:09There was the original one was purloined by edward the eighth and when he abdicated and they took it away
23:14So they had to have a brand new
23:16Coronet and they couldn't get it to work
23:19Because they kept trying to make this beautiful golden orb at the top
23:22So what did they do in the end?
23:24Do you think did they just spray paint the ball that's inside a toilet system?
23:31I mean, you're not far off
23:34Elizabeth duke
23:38It's a ping pong ball
23:41Yes, it's a ping pong ball
23:43They kept trying to make one and it kept falling apart then somebody thought wait a minute a ping pong ball is the perfect size
23:49So they electroplated a ping pong ball
23:52Quite so art attack, isn't it?
23:54That's a New England fan on that
23:55I don't know, New England, absolutely right
23:57Only the best for Wales
24:02They've conquered whole kingdoms to get hold of diamonds and rubies
24:07But when it comes to Wales
24:09A ping pong ball
24:11Anybody know the Welsh for ping pong?
24:13No, go on
24:14Want me to help you?
24:15Yeah, go on
24:15It's ping pong
24:16Right, time for general ignorance
24:20Staying with our Wales theme for a moment
24:22Older viewers may remember John Redwood
24:25MP
24:27When he was the Welsh secretary
24:29Miming to the Welsh national anthem
24:33Unfortunately, we were not allowed to show the video of it
24:37It's been used so many times
24:39Take the piss out of John Redwood that it now breaks BBC impartiality guidelines to show it
24:46I get cold chills when I see it because when I went to high school we had to learn the Welsh national anthem and I just I didn't speak any Welsh
24:52And I was really struggling with it and I my my punishment was I had to go back in on my own and sing it one-on-one to me
24:59Oh my god
25:00I know it was horrific but she's dead now so
25:06Do you know can you sing the Welsh national anthem?
25:08My hand vladen had I an unwilly me
25:12Oh, that's fantastic
25:14No, that's as much as I know
25:16So looking at this picture and springing off it what I really want to know is which state has the most redwoods
25:29Darling
25:30It's got to be california, isn't it?
25:37Oregon
25:39No
25:42Is it even in north america?
25:44No
25:46Sussex
25:49You get the point
25:57So not just sussex it's in the uk which is a national state the uk has many many more redwoods than for example california
26:04The uk forestry commission estimate that there are half a million redwoods in britain and there's about 80 000 in california
26:11So they were introduced in the 1850s by the victorians and the victorians brought thousands of seeds and saplings from the united states
26:19So the ones in the us have had longer to grow which means that they are taller
26:24So some of them reach up to nearly 300 feet in the united states the tallest one in the uk
26:30Is in center parks in longleat forest in wiltshire it's 170 years old and it's about 177 feet
26:36But they can live for up to 2 000 years and I feel we will get there
26:40We will get there plenty of time to catch up
26:44And finally can you name any prime minister who was born in wales?
26:49Lloyd george no
26:51So he was the only one to speak welsh as the first language only one of any political party who was welsh but he was born in manchester
27:02So not him oh
27:06Callaghan
27:07Callaghan is not the right answer as it happens
27:10It is a friend of mine, and I texted and I said would you send us a message and here it is
27:16Hi, my name is julia gillard. I was the 27th prime minister of australia, and yes, I was born in barry wales
27:23Alan I really hope you got that right
27:35She's a very good woman and it was very kind of her to do it. I did appreciate it
27:40Julia gillard was born in old south wales
27:43Which brings us to the scores in first place our princess of wales wales and wales tonight with three whole points is kirri
27:56In second place slightly blue on the whale front with minus one it's ellis
28:04In third place wailing and weeping with minus nine it's griff
28:09Thank you
28:11And in last place wail wail wail it's moby dickhead
28:16um
28:18With minus 48 it's alan
28:35Well that's all from ellis griff geary and alan and i leave you with these wise words from award-winning writer dave barry
28:42If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain wales goodnight?
28:47Thank you
28:54Thank you
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