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00:00Welcome, welcome, welcome to Have I Got News For You.
00:19I'm Roy Wood Jr. in the news this week.
00:23Howard Lutnick has a plan for rising grocery costs.
00:30More states consider internet age verification laws.
00:34I've got to break the news to you.
00:36There's titties out there.
00:38The King Jeffries finally watches an episode of Have I Got News For You.
00:43You better watch how you talk when you talk about me.
00:46On Emberstead tonight, she's a comedian, author, and host of the podcast.
00:50Nobody listens to Paula Poundstone, but that's only because the Bluetooth keep disconnecting.
00:54It's Paula Poundstone.
00:56And joining Michael, she is the attorney general of the state of Michigan, where she's fought
01:04for anti-discrimination laws and fraud protection.
01:08She's also got a great recipe for mom's spaghetti.
01:10It's Dana Nessel.
01:15Now for the biggest stories of the week, Michael, Dana, watch the clip.
01:20Tell me what's the story.
01:21Oh, that's the Capitol.
01:24Oh, can't come in.
01:25Sorry, we're closed.
01:26And that used to be where we lived.
01:29And now it's no more.
01:31And we're kidnapping people off the street.
01:34It's, the story is, it's another day in Trump's America.
01:37The story is, we're on day 25 of the government shutdown.
01:41So let's start with an easy, simple question.
01:43What is this administration focused on doing instead?
01:47It's the ballroom.
01:48Yes, the ballroom.
01:49This week, the Trump administration demolished the entire East Wing of the White House.
01:55Let's do some before and after.
01:56Here's a satellite photo of the before.
01:58And here's the after.
02:00Oh, God.
02:02And that's where the First Lady's office is.
02:05So imagine the work that's not getting done right now.
02:09But the good news is, there's, like, a 95% chance we find Jimmy Hoffa at long last.
02:16Trump is adding a 90,000 square foot ballroom that they're saying is big enough to hold 999 people.
02:25Or 666 upside down.
02:28A 90,000 foot ballroom for a bunch of people who you know can't dance.
02:37But what promise did the president make when he announced the project back in July?
02:43He promised that he wasn't going to actually destroy any of the White House.
02:47Here's the answer.
02:48It'll be near it, but not touching it.
02:52And pays total respect to the existing building, which I'm the biggest fan of.
02:56It's my favorite.
02:57He said that?
02:58Yeah.
02:59I know we do this all the time, but...
03:01Just let me get near it, baby.
03:05I ain't going to touch it.
03:06I just want to be near it.
03:09Trump's already broken his promise not to interfere with the existing White House, obviously.
03:14But all is okay, because he loves the sound of construction.
03:19I love that sound.
03:20It reminds me of money.
03:22In this case, it reminds me of lack of money because I'm paying for it.
03:26Question.
03:27Is he paying for it?
03:28No.
03:28Oh, no.
03:31Points for y'all.
03:35Trump now says the ballroom will cost $300 million and that he's going to pay for some of it.
03:42Although, his contribution amount has not been revealed.
03:48They've torn down the East Wing, but as you know with construction, the debris has to go somewhere.
03:53Where are the remains of the East Wing being laid to rest?
03:58Chuck Schumer's backyard.
04:00Chuck Schumer catches stray every week.
04:04Roll the clip.
04:05This is a video we took this afternoon of the golf course at Haynes Point in Southwest, D.C.
04:10A construction worker told us the dirt is being used on the grounds there.
04:14Aren't they going to sew off parts of the...
04:16Fuck, and that's what I'm talking about.
04:18I think he's actually just looking for new places to bury his ex-wives.
04:22I think we can all agree that even if the ballroom turns out great, that none of this is going to be a good look.
04:31Question.
04:32How is Speaker Mike Johnson responding to the bad optics of Trump in his ballroom?
04:38Um, I think, uh, he's trying to pivot away from this, uh, in the hopes that he'll be raptured before he actually has to answer any questions about it.
04:50I know exactly what Mike Johnson says.
04:53He doesn't know.
04:53He hasn't seen it.
04:54He never heard of it.
04:55He travels around with a bag over his head most of the time.
04:59He doesn't have any staff to tell him shit.
05:01He has no idea.
05:02He has no way of knowing.
05:03He hasn't read it.
05:04Mike Johnson's defense is that everybody's doing it.
05:09The White House has been renovated many times over the years.
05:11You understand?
05:12The British burned it down practically in 1814, and then they rebuilt it in the early 1820s.
05:18Yeah, everybody remembers that.
05:19Everybody remembers when the British came in and did a nice renovation.
05:23So, now, the construction hasn't been hampered by the shutdown, uh, but one thing that is impacted is the House of Representatives.
05:30Uh, Speaker Johnson still refuses to seat Arizona Congresswoman-elect Adelita Grijalva.
05:36With some people speculating, it's because she will be the deciding vote in the release of the Epstein files.
05:43Who did Mike Johnson blame for his decision not to swear in Ms. Grijalva?
05:50Was it you?
05:53Nancy Pelosi.
05:54Let's take a look.
05:55I'm following the Pelosi precedent, by the way, when my dear friend from Louisiana, Julia Letlow,
05:59and Nancy Pelosi took 25 days to swear her in.
06:02That was the date that actually the representative-elect Letlow at the time requested.
06:07No.
06:07She had obviously hurt her.
06:08Okay, here's some more examples, okay?
06:10No, no, but wait a minute.
06:11That's the Pelosi precedent, but Pelosi didn't delay that.
06:14No, no, let me give you more than Pelosi precedent, okay?
06:16And what about the Johnson precedent?
06:17Now, on the upside, the attorney general in Arizona is now suing Mike Johnson for failing
06:24to seat the representative-elect, to which Mike Johnson said this.
06:29The attorney general from Arizona just wants publicity, so she's lobbed on to this as well.
06:33Let me get her day in the sun.
06:35Bring it, sister.
06:37Let me ask you guys something.
06:38Do y'all get blacker when you're near someone that white?
06:43Yeah.
06:47Yeah, a little bit.
06:50Rehovah can't get seated, but in the meantime, what government agency has not been affected
06:57by the government shutdown?
06:59I mean, when you say not affected, I think you mean, like, just pouring money into ICE.
07:04Yeah, I mean, they're, they have an enormous budget, and they're actually trying to recruit
07:09from all the police departments around the country, which I can tell you has local police
07:15departments pissed off.
07:16Yes, this week, ICE was out in full force doing all types of stuff, like tackling people
07:22in a Home Depot in Illinois, engaging in a shootout on the streets of L.A., and conducting
07:29a military-style sweep of vendors on New York City's Canal Street, and them New Yorkers
07:34were not having it.
07:48I love that she gave the middle fingers, and it was like, all right, all right.
07:52Still got to make my train.
07:56We'll cuss your ass out, but on our time.
07:59Yeah.
08:00Besides New Yorkers hating their guts, does anyone know what other problem ICE is running
08:06into?
08:07The fact that they have huge guts, and that they can't pass the physicals.
08:10More than a third of prospective new ICE agents are failing to muster the required 15 push-ups,
08:1732 sit-ups, and a mile-and-a-half run in under 14 minutes.
08:25Everybody knows the ICE stands for I can't be exercising right now.
08:32Amber, Paula, watch the clips and tell me what is the story.
08:37Hello, America.
08:38I'm going to hit you right in the Department of Justice.
08:41It's Ritz crackers?
08:42Oh, that's money.
08:43Same value.
08:44And that is Lindsey Halligan?
08:46If you've ever said anything bad about Trump, she's coming.
08:49Yeah.
08:50She's making the list.
08:51That's right.
08:52Are you on the list?
08:54I hope so.
08:56If you are not on the list, shame on you.
08:59The story is, the Justice Department, Donald Trump, is prosecuting his enemies and enriching
09:08himself.
09:08This week, we learned that President Trump is demanding the government give him justice.
09:14And by justice, of course, I mean cash.
09:17The President of the United States wants his own government, and it appears, his employees
09:22who run the Justice Department, to pay him a whopping $230 million.
09:26Now, if it's starting to feel like Donald Trump is selling America for parts, he is selling
09:33America for parts.
09:34And we can't say Donald Trump didn't warn us.
09:36Here's Donald Trump on a real—this is on a real Discovery Channel show from 2011.
09:41I'm Donald Trump, and I'm doing something no one's ever done before, putting a dollar
09:46value on the whole of the United States of America.
09:50So, if we had to sell America lock, stock, and barrel right now, what would be a fair
09:57price?
09:58Donald Trump hosts Curiosity.
10:00What's America worth?
10:02Is that real?
10:03Yeah, that was a real show.
10:05That would be like if Lauren Boebert, 15 years ago, hosted a show called Touching Dicks
10:09in the movie theater, with Lauren Boebert.
10:14That's how literal that is.
10:16Now, does anyone know who will pay this $230 million to Trump?
10:22We will.
10:23All of us.
10:23Oh, great.
10:24Yeah, you're right.
10:26You're correct.
10:26It's not going to be a major corporation paying the $230 million.
10:29It's going to be you.
10:30Mm-hmm.
10:31You.
10:31Move right there.
10:32You.
10:34Yep.
10:34And all of you.
10:36All the people in the front row were leaning sideways right then.
10:38Here's Dana Bash with the details.
10:42Any payment he gets would come from taxpayer funds.
10:46Your money.
10:46Dana, you are an attorney general in the state of Michigan.
10:51Please explain to us, how the fuck does this work exactly?
10:55Because this feels like a conflict of interest.
10:59Everything he does is a conflict of interest.
11:02But I'm just interested, if he's selling all of the United States, how's he going to unload
11:07Ohio?
11:08You brought college football beef to a news channel.
11:12I did.
11:13I did.
11:14You know how deep the hatred has to be for the Buckeyes?
11:17It's real.
11:19It is real.
11:19Yeah.
11:20It's a conflict of interest what Trump is trying to do, because it's a case where Trump
11:24himself and his own appointees would be the ones to approve the settlement.
11:29According to the Justice Department manual, settlements over $4 million must be approved by the Deputy
11:37Attorney General or Associate Attorney General.
11:40The current Deputy Attorney General is a dude named Todd Blanche.
11:45Let's get a picture of Todd Blanche up there.
11:46Look at him.
11:46What did you say?
11:48What did you say?
11:49The Department of Justice manual?
11:51The Department of Justice got a book that said, here are the rules.
11:54If we're going to pay out more than $4 million, this person, this person got to approve the
11:58money.
11:59Roy, that is so cute, because we have a constitution that says the rules, too.
12:02They were ignoring that, so I don't know why a DOJ handbook matters, but Todd Blanche was
12:09Trump's personal lawyer.
12:11Todd Blanche's last job was Donald Trump's lead criminal defense lawyer.
12:17That is just a fun coincidence.
12:19It's a picture of him back in the good old days.
12:21This is very unprecedented.
12:24It's unconventional, and even Donald Trump himself knows it's unconventional.
12:28With the country, it's interesting, because I'm the one that makes a decision, right?
12:32And, you know, that decision would have to go across my desk, and it's awfully strange
12:37to make a decision where I'm paying myself, but I was damaged very greatly, and any money
12:42that I would get, I would give to charity.
12:44I think he means charity, some stripper.
12:48When the Justice Department isn't planning ways to give government money to the president,
12:52it's spending the money on questionable prosecutions.
12:56The person in charge of those questionable prosecutions is interim U.S. attorney for Virginia's
13:01Eastern District, Lindsey Halligan.
13:04What qualifies Lindsey Halligan to be the interim U.S. district attorney from the Eastern
13:10District of Virginia?
13:10Honestly, she has great hair.
13:12Certainly not her resume is not really the first place that they looked in terms of determining
13:17whether she should be there or not.
13:18Well, that's some damn points for you, because that is absolutely correct.
13:21Wow.
13:22Wow.
13:23Lindsey Halligan's qualifications are basically nothing.
13:26She's a former insurance lawyer who met Trump at a golf club and went on to join his personal
13:32legal team.
13:33And when prosecutors in Virginia refused to indict James Comey and Letitia James, lo and
13:38behold, Lindsey got the job.
13:41Which brings us to earlier this week when Anna Bauer, a senior editor from Lawfare, reported
13:46she got a text from Halligan.
13:48Apparently, Lindsey Halligan was furious about a New York Times story that Bauer had tweeted
13:54about the Letitia James case.
13:56And things just got weirder from there.
13:59According to Bauer, Lindsey Halligan wrote, quote,
14:02Anna, Lindsey Halligan here.
14:04You're reporting things that are simply not true.
14:06Thought you should have a heads up.
14:07What followed that initial text was more than a day of text insisting that the reporting
14:13from the New York Times was inaccurate.
14:15Halligan wrote, by the way, everything I ever sent you is off record.
14:20You're not a journalist, so it's weird saying that, but just letting you know.
14:23You know, what I don't understand is why at that point she just didn't respond.
14:27New phone.
14:28Who dis?
14:31Dana, when is it appropriate to ever text journalists?
14:35Definitely not in the middle of a grand jury proceeding.
14:40That would probably be the last time that I would do it.
14:42But I have to say, what I find so amusing about this situation is this is obviously a
14:49show trial, right?
14:51There's nothing more in terms of the prosecution of A.G.
14:54James.
14:55But why even go there?
14:58Why not just an all-out cage match on the White House grounds?
15:02You know, between Tish James, Lindsay Halligan, two people go in, one lawyer leaves.
15:09I vote for that.
15:12That's not the only update in the case of New York Attorney General Letitia James.
15:16Yeah, there she is.
15:17Looking like she about to rob the Louvre.
15:21I support her.
15:22Y'all ain't finna get me on talking about no black woman.
15:24I've seen what y'all did to Stephen A. Smith.
15:29She showed up looking like Roy.
15:33I said her name, the picture popped up.
15:35What you saying about me?
15:39Letitia James made her first court appearance yesterday, and as expected, she pled not guilty.
15:44But we did get a bit more information about her case.
15:47MSNBC confirmed the existence of a memo written by one of the career prosecutors who was fired by Lindsay Halligan.
15:55And the memo doesn't look great for the prosecution's case.
16:00Remember, the prosecutors alleged that the profit that James made on this mortgage favorable interest rate
16:06they alleged that she got on the second home amounted to about $50 a month.
16:09But this memo said it actually may have been as small as $15 a month.
16:13$15.
16:14For the price of HBO Max without commercials.
16:17This president is a little bit fun.
16:23I mean, everybody he hates, he's like, you're going to jail, you're going to jail, I'm suing you.
16:29This building, fuck it, I'm tearing it to the ground.
16:32Hey, give me $230 million because I sent something.
16:37It's wild, it's wild.
16:39Of all the things that we've done to our justice system, we're still hanging on to that.
16:43No cameras, no cameras in the courtroom.
16:45It doesn't matter.
16:46This portrait sketch guy, no, okay, you can only see him in charcoal.
16:50That's just silly.
16:51Okay, Paula Poundstone, not a fan of the sketch artist union.
16:58That's not what I'm saying.
16:59That's what you said.
17:01That's what I heard you say.
17:02I love the sketch artist union.
17:03I heard you're taking jobs when you're sketch artists.
17:05No, I heard you're taking jobs when you're sketch artists.
17:07That's what it sounded like to me, Paula Poundstone.
17:08I have a background in courtroom sketch artists.
17:13Now, on to Halligan's other case.
17:15My whole family was in courtroom sketch.
17:20There was the criminal element of the Poundstone family, and then there were the sketchers.
17:36Welcome back.
17:36It's time for the offend-o-meter.
17:40Teams have to tell us who's the offender, what they did, and who they offended.
17:44Let's see your offender.
17:46Who that is?
17:47Oh, that's that guy.
17:48Oh, yeah.
17:49Oh.
17:49I don't know his name, but that's the guy running for Maine Senate.
17:52And he maybe has a little Nazi tattoo.
17:55Oh.
17:56I was going to say some Australian.
18:00That is Maine Senate candidate and aspiring brawny paper towel man, Graham Plattner.
18:07Who did Graham Plattner offend?
18:10Well, I think I alluded to it when I mentioned the Nazi tattoo.
18:15What's weird about this guy is he came out of nowhere as a Democratic populist.
18:20And in Maine, it's very...
18:22People love him.
18:23I watched him speak.
18:24He's terrific.
18:25And then he took his shirt off, and he was like, oh, no.
18:28Graham offended Maine voters and plenty of other folks, too, when it came out this week
18:34that he, yes, Michael, has a Nazi-related tattoo on his chest.
18:40Now, the tattoo in question, let's get a quick look at it, is a very specific skull and bones
18:45logo called the Totenkopf.
18:48It was used heavily by the SS in Nazi Germany.
18:52Boy, it's not very good.
18:55You know, that's my fear of tattoos to begin with, is that happens to them eventually.
18:59They fade, and you don't have a sharp Totenkopf.
19:04Question.
19:05How did he acquire this tattoo?
19:08He didn't acquire it through a tattoo artist, if you look at it, because that's...
19:12Here's Plattner talking about that one magical shore leave with the Marines.
19:17We went ashore and split Croatia, myself and a few of the other machine gun squad leaders,
19:23and we got very inebriated, and we decided to go get a tattoo.
19:28And we chose a terrifying-looking skull and crossbones off the wall because we were Marines.
19:34And then we all moved on with our lives.
19:37In all fairness to the oyster farmer from Maine, on my 21st birthday, I got drunk, I went out,
19:44I got a tattoo.
19:45I don't know what the hell this thing is.
19:47That's a Nazi symbol.
19:48That's a Nazi symbol.
19:49It might be.
19:50I've never gotten a tattoo sober.
19:52You get drunk, you get a tattoo.
19:54That's the law.
19:56So the tat is still used by white power groups today, and Graham Plattner is a former Marine
20:01and a member of the Army National Guard, and he's been campaigning to be a senator in Maine.
20:06Now, with the primary still months away, why has this local race been getting so much national attention?
20:12Susan Collins, they want to knock her off.
20:16And, you know, for years, everybody's wondered, like, why is she still there?
20:20Why is she representing, of all places, Maine?
20:23The answer, first off, everyone seemed to like this guy.
20:27He had an endorsement from Bernie Sanders.
20:30He had raised over $4 million for his campaign so far.
20:34And another reason is because he's a Democrat running against a longtime Republican
20:37and perpetually concerned Senator Susan Collins.
20:42What controversy was Plattner already trying to manage before the tattoo pics came out?
20:48I think he had some Reddit, uh...
20:50Yes, yes.
20:51He had, uh...
20:52Points for Dana.
20:53Nobody bothered to look at his Reddit account, apparently.
20:56It was not so flattering.
20:57Yeah, he did.
20:57Having one's probably bad.
21:00Uh, yes, he's in trouble for a bunch of old social media posts.
21:04Uh, take a look.
21:05CNN's K-File recently uncovered posts from Plattner calling himself a, quote,
21:10communist, dismissing, quote, all police as bastards,
21:14and saying white Americans, quote, actually are racist and stupid.
21:18Oh, well, he got...
21:19He won my vote back.
21:21Yeah.
21:22I'm going to say, of all places to get that message out,
21:24maybe don't discriminate against white people in Maine.
21:27It's the same.
21:28How do you call out white people without all the white people feeling like you're talking about all the white people?
21:32You go like this, white people?
21:37And then the ones who are guilty feel bad, and the ones who aren't don't.
21:40There you go.
21:42Now, when the podcast host asked Plattner if he was a secret Nazi, here's how he answered.
21:48I am not a secret Nazi.
21:51Say he is a secret Nazi.
21:53What would be different if he took over Susan Collins' position?
21:58He'd be less concerned.
21:59I think that's the only difference.
22:03Now, Plattner did the one thing you're supposed to do when you have a tattoo that you claim to regret.
22:09Uh, you cover it up with a new tattoo.
22:11Oh.
22:12Question.
22:12Does anyone know what his new tattoo is?
22:16A Furby.
22:17A bear.
22:18A baby bear.
22:19Paddington bear.
22:20I have a guess.
22:21Burning cross.
22:21The new tattoo is whatever the hell this is.
22:27Did he go back to that same Croatian tattoo artist?
22:31How hilarious would it be if somebody looked at him like, man, that's one of Hitler's dogs.
22:38Let's see your offender.
22:40Oh, yes.
22:42That is conservative icon and one of the main reasons we're in this mess today.
22:49Ronald Reagan.
22:50Who did old Ronald Reagan offend?
22:53Didn't the use of Ronald Reagan video offend Trump?
22:59Did I get points?
23:01Points!
23:01Ronald Reagan offended Donald Trump when he spent five minutes in 1987 railing against tariffs.
23:11That clip, which was then used in this ad and broadcast on U.S. televisions this week.
23:16When someone says, let's impose tariffs on foreign imports, it looks like they're doing the patriotic thing by protecting American products and jobs.
23:25But over the long run, such trade barriers hurt every American worker and consumer.
23:34I miss Ronald Reagan.
23:37Never thought I'd say that.
23:39Eventually, that feeling trickled down to you.
23:45The clip was produced by the Premier of Ontario, Doug Ford, who tweeted the following.
23:50Canada and the United States are friends, neighbors, and allies.
23:53President Ronald Reagan knew that we are stronger together.
23:57God bless Canada and God bless the United States.
24:01Question.
24:01How did Donald Trump respond to that ad?
24:06He cut off all negotiations with the Canadians as a result of that ad.
24:11Except for on their ham because of the egg McMuffin.
24:14President Trump called off trade negotiations with Canada in a truth social post, you know, because that's how we do things now.
24:24The president is up and posting this.
24:28Canada cheated and got caught.
24:29He writes, they fraudulently took a big buy ad saying that Ronald Reagan did not like tariffs when actually he loved tariffs for our country and its national security.
24:38That's what happened.
24:39Trump see a commercial he don't like and then he just declare war and he see one of them commercials, see Jake from State Farm.
24:47He'd be like, uh-oh.
24:48Get Jacob out of here.
24:51In reaction to Trump's post, Doug Ford responded with, quote,
24:54I've directed my team to keep putting our message in front of Americans over the weekend so that we can air our commercials during the first two World Series games.
25:06Let's see your offender.
25:08Who is that?
25:10It's racism, Barbie.
25:13That is press secretary and gone girl Caroline Leavitt.
25:18Who did she offend?
25:20She offended a writer at Huffington Post by making a yo mama joke in response to a legitimate question.
25:30Can you say yo mama one more time?
25:32That was perfect execution.
25:37Yes, Caroline Leavitt offended Huffington Post reporter Esvidate with her response to his question about why Budapest was chosen for the peace talks between Russia and Ukraine.
25:48Take a look.
25:48When the Huffington Post asked who suggested that location, the press secretary and the communications director said, and I quote, your mom.
25:58Like, honestly, like, your mom just doesn't hit the same as yo mama.
26:04It's too proper.
26:05Like, you're your mom.
26:07It's like, oh.
26:08You're like, your mother.
26:09It's not right.
26:10Doesn't roll off.
26:11Truth be told, like, most of these mama jokes are just too easy and they've been done too often.
26:15Just like yo mama.
26:18Because it's always like you do a yo mama joke and then you always hit that one class where, my mama dead.
26:25And I'm like, here you go with your dead mama.
26:29Uh, the statement was actually twofold.
26:32Uh, first it was Caroline Leavitt who responded to the reporter's text question with, your mom did.
26:38Followed shortly by a response from White House communications director and, kind of like a human snorlax, uh, Stephen Chung, who wrote simply, your mom.
26:51Okay, so that's a second source.
26:53Is it possible his mom didn't select Budapest as a location?
27:01We don't know.
27:02We don't know.
27:02Points.
27:03Points.
27:03Thank you, Paula.
27:05That was offended to me.
27:06Welcome back.
27:17It's time for, like, Curious.
27:19I'll give you three biographical details about a public figure, but only one is true.
27:24You have to guess which is the truth and which are funky, nasty lies.
27:30Let's get started.
27:31Time for three facts about Fox News anchor Maria Bartiromo, seen here, sporting her business coastal grandmama look.
27:39Um, our facts are, she has a parrot named Maria Bartiromo.
27:45Joey Ramone wrote a song about her.
27:48Ooh.
27:48She tried out for the 96 Olympic U.S. diving team.
27:53Which one is the truth?
27:54Team Michael, I'll start with you.
27:55Did she name a parrot after herself?
27:57That seems like, uh, like, legit.
27:59You want to go with number one?
28:01I go with number one.
28:01We're going with a parrot named Maria Bartiromo.
28:04Okay.
28:04We want to do three.
28:06She tried out for the Olympic team and did not make it.
28:10Joey Ramone wrote a song about her.
28:12Oh, this has disappointed America.
28:17Wait, Roy, are we going to get to hear some of it?
28:20Well, hear a little bit of it.
28:21Yeah.
28:23Here's a taste.
28:24Maria Bartiromo.
28:27Maria Bartiromo.
28:32Maria Bartiromo.
28:34It's that for 45 minutes.
28:36Wow.
28:37But that's from the era where, like, musicians would always sing about their favorite journalists.
28:41They actually struck up a friendship after Joey became an avid viewer of her on CNBC, and
28:50Joey was moved to write a song about her and invited her to watch him perform it at CBGB's
28:55at midnight, to which she said, quote, Joey, I'm sorry to tell you, but I have to be on
29:01the air at 6 a.m., and I can't be anywhere at midnight except my bed, so I didn't go.
29:06And I think she should have been flattered that someone wrote her a little song.
29:10Absolutely.
29:11When Paul McCartney called me, I was gracious.
29:17I said, yeah, I'll get up.
29:19Yeah.
29:20Time for three facts about rock and roll icon Bruce Springsteen.
29:23He called me.
29:24See him here sporting one of them lesbian mohawks.
29:29Our facts about the boss, uh, his favorite TV show is How It's Made.
29:33He owns a full-sized carousel.
29:36He inspired a Muppet on Sesame Street named Bruce Stringbean.
29:42I would know if there was a Bruce Springsteen Muppet on Sesame Street.
29:46If you want it to be number one, then I will join you.
29:49Number one, his favorite TV show is How It's Made.
29:52We like Stringbean.
29:53We're going with Stringbean.
29:54Let's do it.
29:54All right, Dan.
29:55All right, answer.
29:56Bruce Springsteen was the inspiration for a Muppet on Sesame Street.
30:02And the Muppet was named Bruce Stringbean.
30:06This must have been before you popped in on Sesame Street.
30:08Take a look at this.
30:09Now, some say that screaming one plus one all night
30:12means we're thoughtless, cruel, and bad.
30:16But kids like you and me, baby, we were born sad.
30:22Sesame Street has been parodying Donald Trump since the 80s.
30:26Which actor played Ronald Grump in a 1994 Sesame Street anniversary special?
30:34Oh, I saw it.
30:35I can't remember it.
30:36In 1994, Joe Pesci played Ronald Grump,
30:42a wealthy businessman who wants to demolish Sesame Street
30:46and put up Grump Tower.
30:48We have never had such a violent,
30:52a violent celebrity on Sesame Street ever.
30:56Oh, God.
30:57Oh, God.
31:01He spit on Elmo, then told Big Bird,
31:03go home and get his shine box.
31:04Like, that's...
31:05All right, time for three facts
31:08about former U.S. Congressman George Santos.
31:12Seen here, fresh out of jail in California, dreaming.
31:15Our facts are, George Santos has never eaten a vegetable.
31:21He owns the Zoltar fortune teller machine from Big.
31:25He was a child model.
31:28Oi.
31:28The thing is, there's nothing true about him.
31:31So how are we supposed to pick one true thing?
31:34None of it's true.
31:35Child model is the only thing we could prove.
31:38Right.
31:38This man loves a lie.
31:39He could lie about vegetable.
31:41He could lie about the Zoltar machine.
31:42But he can't lie if we see him in a JCPenney ad
31:47and a cute little hat.
31:52I'm going to give both sides points
31:54because this is unprecedented.
31:56All of these are lies.
31:59That's what I said.
32:01Yeah, yeah, you did.
32:03That's what I said.
32:04This has been Lie Curious.
32:05More after the break.
32:06Welcome back.
32:18It's time for Missing Words.
32:21Here's your headline.
32:22Boy throws blank themed birthday party.
32:26Boy throws bar mitzvah themed birthday party.
32:30That would be fun.
32:31Makes sense.
32:32Boy throws Jimmy Carter themed birthday party.
32:35A boy in New Jersey named Ryan
32:38recently turned five years old
32:40and according to his mom,
32:42Ryan requested that the 39th president
32:45be the theme of his party.
32:48Take a look at this.
32:50He looked like he had a great time.
32:51I love it.
32:53Woo!
32:55Jump for Jimmy.
32:57Can I have your attention, please?
32:58Ryan's interest in Carter started in preschool
33:18when he was shown a picture of all the living presidents.
33:22The then three-year-old Ryan
33:24was instantly captivated by Jimmy Carter.
33:27This is a made-up story.
33:30Even Rosalind Carter wasn't captivated by Jimmy Carter.
33:36Uh, here's your headline.
33:37Drivers stopped in California for using blank.
33:40The bird.
33:42I'm going to say drivers stopped in California
33:44for using incorrect pronouns.
33:47Drivers stopped in California
33:49for using hand-drawn license plate.
33:54The California Highway Patrol
33:56stopped a vehicle in Merced County
33:58after noticing something
33:59was a little bit off about the tag.
34:02Uh, take a look at this tag, please.
34:08Honestly, not a bad effort.
34:10I don't see anything wrong with that
34:12if you want to keep yours nice.
34:14Yeah.
34:14Right?
34:15You don't want to get all fucked up
34:16with emissions and rain and stuff.
34:18So you make a paper one
34:20and you tell the cop the real one's at home.
34:23Wouldn't it be weird if George Santos
34:25made that for the four months he was in prison?
34:27Here's your headline.
34:31Blank are stealing blank in California again.
34:35Singing and dancing raisins
34:37are stealing Marvin Gaye songs
34:40in California again.
34:42Sea otters are stealing surfboards
34:45in California again.
34:48Surfers at steamer lane
34:49off the coast of Santa Cruz
34:51have made multiple reports
34:52of otters attacking them
34:55and then taking their surfboards.
34:59They're flagging you down.
35:01There's a surfer in the water
35:02was bit by an otter.
35:05All of a sudden,
35:07I feel this, like, nip on my foot.
35:09Look behind me.
35:10There's an otter on my board.
35:11Orduna says that after biting her,
35:13the otter took over her board
35:14for at least 20 minutes.
35:16And in the moment,
35:17she didn't know what to do.
35:18So then she got out
35:20and reported it
35:21like she thought somebody
35:22was a witch otter.
35:23Show me a witch otter.
35:25The key word in that report
35:27is the word again.
35:30Because this also happened before
35:32in 2023.
35:33A female sea otter
35:34known as 841
35:36went viral
35:37for also stealing surfboards.
35:40Wow.
35:41You know,
35:41they always seem so cute
35:42and then it turns out
35:44they're pulling shit like that.
35:47According to the New York Times,
35:49quote,
35:50it's unclear if 841
35:51is the culprit
35:52in this week's cases.
35:54If it is her,
35:56the cases may be written off
35:57as a troublesome behavior
35:59by a repeat offender.
36:02But experts say,
36:03quote,
36:03it's possible
36:04that another otter
36:05has begun
36:06to see the appeal
36:08of surfing.
36:09I hope this otter
36:10knows that it's
36:11a three strikes
36:12and you're out.
36:12deal in California
36:14because that otter
36:15is going to be gone
36:16way longer
36:17than George Santos.
36:19Now, sea otters
36:20have also been in the news
36:22because Taylor Swift
36:23earlier this month
36:24was spotted wearing
36:25a vintage
36:26Monterey Bay Aquarium
36:28sea otter t-shirt.
36:30According to the
36:31New York Times,
36:32the aquarium then
36:33started a fundraiser
36:34with the t-shirt
36:34as a prize
36:35and raised over
36:36$2 million
36:37clarifying
36:40that they hit
36:40their original goal
36:41of $1.3 million
36:43in about
36:44eight hours.
36:46Wow.
36:47Didn't she change
36:47the economy?
36:49Like when she was
36:49doing her heiress tour?
36:51Yes, when she would
36:51land in a city,
36:53she would bring
36:53so much revenue
36:54to that city
36:55that it changed
36:55the economy.
36:56Yeah.
36:57I am that close
36:58to that.
37:00She's going to be
37:01in Syracuse
37:02tomorrow night.
37:04That's missing words
37:05more after the break.
37:16Welcome back.
37:17It's time for
37:18Odd One Out.
37:19I'll show everybody
37:20four pictures.
37:21You'll have to guess
37:21which one sticks out
37:22like Bill Belichick
37:23in every photo
37:24with his young-ass
37:25girlfriend.
37:27Here's your group
37:28of four.
37:28Michael Bloomberg,
37:30Andrew Cuomo,
37:31Steven Spielberg,
37:32and Zach Galifianakis.
37:34Who is the
37:35Odd One Out team,
37:36Michael?
37:37Wow, which one
37:37is the Odd One Out?
37:38Okay.
37:40I think Odd Man Out
37:41would be
37:42Zach Galifianakis.
37:44Galifianakis.
37:45Yeah.
37:46Yes, what you say.
37:47Do you have a reason?
37:48Uh, I just think
37:49he's funnier
37:50than the other three.
37:52We think Zach
37:53is funnier
37:54than the other three.
37:56The Odd One Out
37:58has got to be
37:59Cuomo
38:01because he's
38:01the only one
38:02who has a bridge.
38:05Is that his father?
38:07His father.
38:08He's the only one
38:09whose father
38:10has a bridge.
38:13Only one of them
38:13ran for president,
38:14right?
38:15Bloomberg.
38:16But wait,
38:16Zach was in a movie
38:17about running
38:17for president.
38:18That's right.
38:19Spielberg makes movies.
38:21Oh.
38:22Cuomo sucks.
38:23So, Cuomo.
38:26Good job.
38:27Oh, wow.
38:28The Odd One Out
38:29is Andrew Cuomo.
38:31Woo!
38:33Michael Bloomberg,
38:35Steven Spielberg,
38:35and Zach Galifianakis
38:36are all Eagle Scouts,
38:39while Andrew Cuomo
38:40is not allowed
38:41within 200 feet
38:42of a Girl Scout.
38:44Let me say this.
38:45It's hard
38:46to become an Eagle Scout.
38:47That, like,
38:48we wish
38:49that the people
38:49who worked
38:50for ICE
38:51had the same qualifications
38:52as these people do
38:53to be Eagle Scouts
38:54because it's not easy.
38:55Let's play a little
38:56minigame.
38:57Oh.
38:57I'm going to give you
38:58three possible
38:59Boy Scout merit badges.
39:01You tell me
39:02which one is real.
39:03Oh.
39:04Stunt coordination,
39:06dentistry,
39:07or feng shui?
39:08Feng shui.
39:08I mean, dentistry?
39:10Do they teach that
39:11to Eagle Scouts now?
39:13Yeah, my son
39:14was at Scout,
39:15and they did.
39:16They just pulled
39:16each other's teeth.
39:19Don't listen to her.
39:20Make your own decision.
39:21What do you think, Ben?
39:22I'm going to have to go
39:23with the feng shui.
39:23I don't know
39:24what else it could possibly be.
39:25Yeah.
39:26A real merit badge
39:27you can earn
39:27in the Boy Scouts
39:28is dentistry.
39:29What?
39:30I know.
39:30Yeah, see?
39:31According to the manual,
39:32to get the dentistry badge,
39:34you have to be able
39:35to use a dental x-ray
39:37to study tooth structure
39:39and look for decay.
39:41You also have to show
39:42where nerves
39:43and blood vessels
39:44enter and leave the tooth,
39:46and you need to prepare
39:48a dental stone cast.
39:51You just got to be a dentist.
39:54Let me find out
39:55the Boy Scouts
39:56take Blue Cross Blue Shield.
39:59That was Odd One Out.
40:01Welcome back.
40:08It's time for
40:09Which Is Higher?
40:10I'll give you
40:10two unrelated numbers
40:11from the news.
40:12You tell me
40:13which is higher.
40:14Panel, last Sunday,
40:15thieves broke into
40:16the Louvre Museum
40:17and stole some
40:19French crown jewels,
40:20all while the museum
40:22was still open
40:23to the public.
40:25Which is higher?
40:26The number of minutes
40:26thieves spent inside
40:28the Louvre
40:28during the heist,
40:29or the number
40:30of minutes
40:31in the famous
40:32single-take nightclub scene
40:33in Goodfellas.
40:35I just saw a TikTok
40:36about this.
40:38So everything
40:39I'm going to say
40:40will be unreliable.
40:43But my little TikTok
40:44said it was
40:45seven or eight minutes.
40:47I forget,
40:47but something like that.
40:48What, the scene
40:49where they go
40:49through the kitchen
40:50and all?
40:51Yeah, that's the scene.
40:52No, but that wasn't
40:53seven or eight minutes.
40:54Okay, then let's piece
40:55our information together.
40:58I don't think it's
40:59seven minutes.
41:00I don't think it's that long.
41:01We agree.
41:02We're in agreement
41:02with that team over there.
41:04We think the Louvre
41:05thing lasted longer.
41:06Okay.
41:07According to
41:08the New York Times,
41:09Steve spent approximately
41:10four minutes
41:11in the Louvre,
41:12while the scene
41:14from Goodfellas
41:15is right around
41:16three minutes.
41:17So the amount of time
41:19spent in the Louvre
41:19is higher.
41:20That was which is higher.
41:21I want to thank
41:22our guests tonight,
41:23Paula Poundstone
41:24and Michigan Attorney General
41:26Dana Nessel.
41:28And of course,
41:29thank you to our team's
41:30captains,
41:30Amber Ruffin
41:31and Michael Ian Black.
41:33Before we sign off,
41:35here are a few more
41:36stories we're watching.
41:38Thruffle shows off
41:39Halloween costumes.
41:44Man realizes
41:45them Arby State nuggets
41:46ain't sitting right.
41:49I'm Roy Wood Jr.
41:52and I'll see you next week
41:53for another episode
41:54of Have I Got News For You.
41:55And we still
41:56haven't seen
41:57all the X-Team Files.
41:59Good day.
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