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Tv, Yes Minister - S01E02 The Official Visit
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00:00Let's get started.
00:30The Statutory Provisions
00:44Notwithstanding the provisions of subsection 3 of section A,
00:48clause 214 of the Administrative Procedures Scotland Act 1978,
00:53it is proposed that insofar as the implementation of the statutory provisions is concerned,
00:57the resolution of anomalies and uncertainties, as between responsible departments,
01:02shall fall within the purview of the Minister for Administrative Affairs.
01:05What does it mean?
01:07Sorry?
01:08What does it mean?
01:10Oh, well, Minister, it means notwithstanding the provisions of...
01:15Well, don't read it to me. I've just read it to you.
01:17What does it mean?
01:18What it says.
01:20May I remind you, Minister, you're seeing a deputation from the TUC in 15 minutes
01:23and from the CBI half an hour after that and from the NEB at 12 noon.
01:27Oh, Lord, what do they all want?
01:28Well, they're all worried about the machinery.
01:30Machinery?
01:31Yes, well, inflation, deflation and reflation.
01:33What do they think I am?
01:35Minister of the Crown or a bicycle pump?
01:38When am I going to do all this correspondence?
01:40You do realise you don't actually have to, Minister.
01:44Don't I?
01:44Not if you don't want to. We can draft an official reply.
01:47What's an official reply?
01:49Well, it just says the Minister has asked me to thank you for your letter.
01:51Then we say something like, the matter is under consideration.
01:54Or even if we feel so inclined, under active consideration.
01:58What's the difference?
01:59Well, under consideration means we've lost the file.
02:02Under active consideration means we're trying to find it.
02:07You just transfer all the letters from your intray to your outray.
02:11Put a brief note in the margin if you wish to see a reply.
02:13And if you don't, you need never see or hear of it again.
02:16Do you mean to seriously tell me that if I transfer everything from here to here without even reading it,
02:21that's all I have to do?
02:22Yes.
02:23It'll be dealt with?
02:24Precisely.
02:24Properly?
02:25Immaculately.
02:26Well, what's a Minister here for, then?
02:29Oh.
02:30To make policy decisions, Minister.
02:32When you've decided the policy, we can carry it out.
02:35How often are policy decisions needed?
02:38From time to time.
02:39Bernard, this government is here to govern.
02:42Not merely preside like our predecessors did.
02:44When a country is going downhill, it's time for someone to get into the driving seat.
02:50Put his foot on the accelerator.
02:52I think you mean the brake.
02:57Ah, Humphrey.
02:58A moment of your time, Minister.
03:00The official visit to the United Kingdom of the President of Biranda.
03:06Biranda.
03:07Africa.
03:08He's never heard of it.
03:10Well, yes, it's fairly new, Minister.
03:12It used to be called British Equatorial Africa.
03:14It's the red bit on the left-hand side, a few inches below the Mediterranean.
03:21Oh, there.
03:22Well, why has this come to us?
03:23This is for the Foreign Office, surely?
03:25No, not exactly.
03:26There are administrative problems.
03:28Her Majesty is due to be up at Balmoral at the time, so she'll have to come to London.
03:32How did that happen?
03:33I thought these state visits were arranged years in advance.
03:35Oh, this isn't a state visit.
03:38It's a head of government visit.
03:39Surely the President of Biranda is head of state.
03:42But he's also head of government, Minister.
03:44But if he's coming here as head of government, why does the Queen have to see him?
03:48Because she's the head of state, Minister.
03:51The head of state must greet a head of state, even if he's not here as head of state.
03:56It's all a matter of hats, Minister.
03:59Hats?
04:00Yes, you see, he's coming here wearing his head of government hat.
04:02He is the head of state, too, but it's not a state visit, because he's not wearing his head of state hat.
04:07But protocol demands that even though he's wearing his head of government hat,
04:11he must still be met by the crown.
04:15Well, anyway, why are we having an official visit from this tinpot little African country?
04:19Minister, I beg of you not to refer to it as a tinpot little African country.
04:24It's an LDC.
04:26A what?
04:27Biranda is what used to be called an underdeveloped country.
04:29However, this term was widely regarded as offensive.
04:32So they became known as developing countries, and then as less-developed countries, or LDCs.
04:39We're now ready to replace the term LDC with HRRC.
04:43What's that?
04:44Human resource-rich countries.
04:47Which means?
04:47That they're grossly overpopulated and begging for money.
04:51And Biranda is an HRRC?
04:54No, Minister.
04:56Let me get this straight.
04:57Is it one of the haves, or one of the have-nots?
04:59Oh, no, we don't use that term any longer.
05:01But if we did, Biranda would be a will-have nation.
05:04Will-have?
05:04Will-have a huge amount of oil in a couple of years from now.
05:08I see.
05:10Why didn't you say so at first?
05:12It's not a TPLAC at all.
05:16TPLAC?
05:17Tinpot little African country.
05:18No, Minister.
05:22Oil?
05:22Wait a minute.
05:23I've got a marvelous idea.
05:24The Queen doesn't have to come down from Balmoral at all.
05:27Well, are you proposing that Her Majesty and the President should exchange official greetings over the telephone?
05:31No, no, no.
05:32Perhaps you'd like them to shout rather loudly?
05:35No.
05:36The visit shall take place in Scotland, at Holyrood Palace.
05:40Out of the question.
05:40Why?
05:41Well, it's not our decision.
05:42It's a foreign office matter.
05:43I don't think so.
05:45Notwithstanding the provisions of subsection three, blah, blah, blah.
05:49It is proposed, blah.
05:51Uh, the resolution of anomalism and uncertainties, blah, blah, blah,
05:54shall fall within the purview of the Minister for Administrative Affairs.
05:57Yes, but...
05:58Don't you see?
05:59It's brilliant.
05:59We save the Queen a pointless journey.
06:02And there are three Scottish by-elections coming up soon.
06:04Every one of them marginal.
06:06We'll hold them straight after the visit.
06:07Minister, we do not hold head of government visits for party political reasons, but for reasons of state.
06:12But my plan shows that Scotland is an equal partner in the United Kingdom.
06:16She is Queen of Scotland, too, you know.
06:17And Scotland is full of marginal consti...
06:19I mean, depressed areas.
06:21Minister, I hardly think that we can exploit our sovereign by involving her in what some might call a squalid vote-grubbing exercise.
06:29You want a better reason, right?
06:30Indeed we do.
06:31Then tell me why he's coming.
06:33For an exchange of views on matters of mutual interest.
06:37Now tell me why he's coming.
06:38Offshore drilling equipment.
06:39We're hoping he's going to place a huge order with the British government.
06:45Where is he going to see this offshore equipment?
06:47Aberdeen?
06:48Clydeside?
06:48Oh, well, yes.
06:49How many oil rigs have you got in Hazelmere, Humphrey?
06:52But the administrative problem...
06:54That's what this whole department was created to solve.
06:56But Scotland's so remote.
06:58Not all that remote.
07:00It's that pink bit.
07:02About two feet above Potter's Bar.
07:05Very droll, Minister.
07:06So, it's going to be Scotland.
07:08That is my policy decision.
07:10That's what I'm here for.
07:11Right, Bernard?
07:12Right, Humphrey?
07:13Well, I do...
07:22What you got against the idea, Bernard?
07:24I mean, really.
07:25Well, Sir Humphrey likes going to foreign embassies.
07:27You know, with his white tie, tails, medals.
07:29It'll all be on a much smaller scale if it takes place in Scotland.
07:32You mean no room for Humphrey?
07:33Well, probably not.
07:34Only for the permanent secretary at the Scottish office.
07:36Sir Humphrey got lots of, um...
07:39Well, yes.
07:40One or two, Minister.
07:41And he's been recommended for the KBE in the next honours list.
07:44How do you know?
07:45I thought honours were a closely guarded secret.
07:47Oh.
07:54Um.
07:55More coffee, Jumbo.
07:57Thank you, Herr Piers.
08:00Any luck with the foreign secretary about this Scottish nonsense?
08:04Afraid not.
08:05Can't budge him.
08:06Your minister noddled him first.
08:07No chance of getting it back to London.
08:09No, I'm afraid the cabinet are utterly united.
08:12All these marginal seats, you see.
08:15Shameful.
08:16Political.
08:17Typical.
08:18Inevitable.
08:18And so blatant.
08:21I mean, issuing writs for three Scottish by-elections to poll on the day after the visit.
08:26Oh.
08:27Can you imagine Harold Macmillan doing a thing like that?
08:33Yes.
08:35Yes, so can I, actually.
08:37Now, about the arrangements for Scotland.
08:42You know, the reception, I mean.
08:44Do we know who's going?
08:45Yes.
08:47I'm afraid the Burandan concert in Edinburgh is rather a hutch.
08:50Looks as though I shall have to carry the flag for the civil service all by myself.
08:54Oh, really?
08:56Well, you'll have my sympathy.
08:58God knows what they'll be serving up for the Scots and Burandans.
09:03Haggis and missionary sauce, I shouldn't wonder.
09:05Actually, between ourselves, Humphrey, the visit will probably never happen.
09:11Never happen what?
09:13Rumblings in the interior.
09:14Oh, dear.
09:16Oh, excuse me.
09:17From our man in Mungoville.
09:19Well, isn't that rather serious?
09:21I mean, Burand is a friendly African country with a Commonwealth connection.
09:24Our information is it's likely to turn into a hostile LDC with a Cuban connection.
09:29Oh.
09:30And what will the government do about it?
09:31The same as they always do.
09:33Damn all.
09:35We're just getting reports of a coup d'etat in Buranda, the West African state that was
09:50formerly British Equatorial Africa.
09:53Early reports suggest that the Commander-in-Chief, Colonel Selim Mohammed, has been declared
09:57president.
09:58It's not known what's happened to the former president, President Alam, who was due to pay
10:02an official visit to Britain next week.
10:05There's still no sign of agreement in the present round of talks.
10:09Did you see that?
10:09Yes, I did.
10:10Get with the foreign secretary, quick.
10:12Shall we scramble?
10:12Scramble?
10:13No, it's not secret.
10:14It's on the news.
10:23Martin, what's all this about Miranda?
10:27What's all what?
10:28It's been a coup d'etat.
10:30How do you know?
10:31Well, it was on the news.
10:32Didn't you see?
10:33Don't you know?
10:34You're foreign secretary, for God's sake.
10:36Yes, but my TV set's on the blink.
10:39Your TV set?
10:41Don't you get foreign office telegrams?
10:43Oh, no, they always come in later.
10:44I get all the foreign news from TV.
10:48You're joking.
10:50Aren't you?
10:50No.
10:51Oh.
10:52Well, what about this official visit?
10:53We've got to make sure it still happens, haven't we?
10:55How can we?
10:56I mean, who's the new president?
10:57Well, we must find out.
10:59Make sure he comes, whoever he is.
11:00There are three by-elections hanging on it.
11:02I know that.
11:03Let me know if you hear anything more.
11:05No, you let me know.
11:06You're the one with the telly.
11:11You've heard the sad news, minister.
11:13Yes, desire.
11:14No, no, no, no.
11:15Just a slight inconvenience.
11:19The wheels are in motion.
11:21No, it's really perfectly simple to cancel the arrangements for the visit.
11:24Cancel the arrangements?
11:25You'll do no such thing.
11:26We have no choice, minister.
11:27I've just been speaking to the foreign secretary.
11:29We are re-issuing the invitation for the new president.
11:31But we haven't recognized his government.
11:35The wheels are in motion.
11:37But who is he?
11:39Mohammedine.
11:39But we don't know anything about him.
11:41What's he like?
11:42The Humphrey.
11:42He's coming here on an official visit.
11:44We're not putting him up for the Athenaeum.
11:45Minister, Buranda is in total confusion.
11:49We don't know who is behind him.
11:51We don't know whether he's Soviet-backed or just an ordinary Burandan with an eye for the main chance.
11:55We cannot take diplomatic risks.
11:57The government has no choice.
11:59But Her Majesty...
12:00Her Majesty will cope.
12:02She always does.
12:03But who is he?
12:06He might not be properly brought up.
12:09He might be rude to her.
12:12He might take liberties.
12:16He will be photographed with Her Majesty.
12:18And what if he then turns out to be another E.D. Armin?
12:23The repercussions are almost too hideous to contemplate.
12:25Oh, we'll just have to find out about him.
12:27Well, we can't.
12:28All that we know is that he's an enigma.
12:31Humphrey, I don't care for that word.
12:34Enigma?
12:36And there are reasons of state which make this visit essential.
12:40Buranda is potentially enormously rich.
12:42It needs oil rigs.
12:43And we have idle shipyards on the Clyde.
12:46Moreover, Buranda is essential to the government's African policy.
12:49The government doesn't have an African policy.
12:51Well, it has now.
12:53And if he is Marxist-backed,
12:55well, who better to win him over to our side than Her Majesty?
12:58Moreover, the people of Scotland have been promised an important state occasion.
13:01We cannot go back on our word.
13:03Not to mention three marginal by-elections.
13:05Not to mention three marginal by-elections,
13:06which had nothing whatever to do with it.
13:08No, of course not.
13:12Yes?
13:13Oh, it's the Foreign Secretary.
13:14Martin?
13:15Yeah, sir.
13:15Yes?
13:17Yes?
13:18The visit's on.
13:20Oh, splendid!
13:23The new president of Buranda has announced his intention of visiting this country next week
13:27in accordance with his predecessor's arrangements.
13:28Oh, so the Foreign Office is getting the facts at last, isn't it?
13:31Eh, well, not exactly.
13:33Martin's driver heard a newsflash on his car radio.
13:37So, the visit's on.
13:38That is my recommendation to the PM.
13:41Another policy decision, Bernard.
13:43Quite a lot of them, after all.
13:45Oh, what the hell?
14:11Berendon Airways. They are doing well.
14:14How many planes have they got?
14:15None.
14:17You need to rise, Humphrey. What about that one?
14:19That one was chartered from Freddie Laker last week and repainted specially.
14:25Actually, there's one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines in one month.
14:32They called it the Mumbo Jumbo.
14:37Berendon, I have to be at Heathrow.
14:39Oh, I've booked you on the sleeper, Minister. You'll be at the house tonight till after the last plane.
14:42Oh, and now we're about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim Mohamed of Berendon.
14:48I know him. That's Charlie.
14:51Charlie?
14:52Oh, we were at Hennessey together.
14:55Really?
14:55Yeah, he's not Selim Mohamed. He's Charles Umtali.
14:58Are you sure about this?
14:59You don't forget a name like Charlie Umtali.
15:01No, sir.
15:02Have we anything on this, Bernard?
15:03Oh, well, I recall in the brief, Sir Humphrey, it stated that Colonel Selim Mohamed was converted to Islam some years ago.
15:09We didn't know his previous name, so we couldn't find out much about his background.
15:12Well, I can tell you all about it. He's a red-hot political economist.
15:15Got the top first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
15:17Oh, well, that's all right, then.
15:18Is it why?
15:18Well, I think what Bernard means is that he'll know how to behave if he went to an English university.
15:23Even if it was the LSE.
15:25When you said he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?
15:29Partly. Never quite know where you are with Charlie.
15:32He's the sort of person who follows you into a revolving door and comes out first.
15:36No deep commitment?
15:38Only to Charlie.
15:39I see. A politician, Minister.
15:42Very droll, Humphrey.
15:44Well, he's only here for a couple of days. Can't do much harm.
15:47Always remember, Minister, you wanted him here, not me.
15:51It is after half-past, Minister.
15:55When am I going to do all this correspondence?
15:58Oh, well, Minister.
16:14Well done, Minister.
16:15Better out than in.
16:162230 Edinburgh Train
16:2224 platform 7
16:25Esther from Edelstein
16:28At 10
16:30Bob Rossbury and Duffy
16:33Chase
16:34At 10
16:36Edinburgh State
16:4028
16:41At 10
16:427
16:43Oh, no.
16:44No.
16:45Come in.
16:46No, no.
16:47What's the matter?
16:48Oh, would you read this please?
16:49No, I will not.
16:50But it's top priority, Mr.
17:04You say that about everything.
17:05But this is an advance copy of President Selim's speech tomorrow.
17:07We've just got it from the Burrandon Elmst.
17:09I know all about these speeches.
17:11Happy to be here.
17:12Bonds of shared experience.
17:14Ties between our two countries.
17:15Am I right?
17:16Well, yes.
17:17That is all in it.
17:18I'm certainly not going to read it tonight.
17:19Well, I really think you should, Minister.
17:21Look, I've underlined the important bits in Reading.
17:23I'll just distribute some copies around the train.
17:26Around the train?
17:27Yes, Sir Humphrey, the Foreign Secretary, the Press Office.
17:29They're all on the train.
17:35Burrandons feel a special affinity with the...
17:42...Celtic peoples in their struggle for freedom.
17:50We, too, had to fight to break free from the chains of British colonialism.
17:55The people of Burranda urged the Scots and the...
18:02...Irish.
18:06And then the English oppression cast off the imperialist yoke
18:10and join the fellowship of free nations.
18:12Good God.
18:14Yes?
18:15Well, Minister, we would appear to have been caught with our trousers down.
18:20Humphrey, he can't say this in front of her.
18:23Well, I don't like to say I told you so, but I told you so.
18:25We're going to have egg all over our faces.
18:27Not egg, Minister.
18:28Just imperialist yoke.
18:30Three Scottish by-elections on Thursday.
18:32Well, yes, it is indeed.
18:33A catastrophe.
18:34A tragedy.
18:35A cataclysmic, apocalyptic, monumental calamity.
18:40And you did it.
18:41Humphrey, you are paid to advise me.
18:42Advise me.
18:43Well, this is not unlike trying to advise the captain of the Titanic
18:46after he struck the iceberg.
18:49Must be something we can do.
18:50Hmm.
18:51We could sing Abide with me.
18:54Yes, Minister.
18:55Oh, yes.
18:56The Foreign Secretary would like a word.
18:58Ah, Foreign Secretary.
18:59Have you read this?
19:00Yes.
19:01My Minister's concerned that the government will have egg all over its face.
19:04Scotch egg, presumably.
19:07Why is he doing it?
19:08Well, maybe it's for home consumption.
19:09He's only just taken over.
19:10Perhaps he's trying to persuade the other African leaders
19:12that he's a pucker anti-colonialist.
19:15Yes?
19:17Yes, sir.
19:18The press officer would like a word.
19:20Oh, dear.
19:22Room for a little.
19:23Humphrey, do you think it's a good idea to issue a statement?
19:25Well, Minister, in practical terms,
19:28we have the usual six options.
19:32One, do nothing.
19:34Two, issue a statement deploring the seal.
19:37Three, lodge an official protest.
19:39Four, cut off aid.
19:40Five, break off diplomatic relations.
19:43And six, declare war.
19:44Which should we do?
19:46Well, if we do nothing, we implicitly agree with the speech.
19:49Two, if we issue a statement, we'll just look foolish.
19:53Three, if we lodge a protest, it'll be ignored.
19:55Four, we can't cut off aid because we don't give them any.
19:59Five, if we break off diplomatic relations,
20:01we can't negotiate the oil rig contracts.
20:04And six, if we declare war,
20:06it might just look as though we were overreacting.
20:09In the old days, we'd just send in a gunboat.
20:11Yes.
20:12I suppose that is absolutely out of question.
20:17Yes.
20:18Minister, the Secretary of the Foreign Office is coming down the corridor.
20:23Oh my God.
20:24It's been like the black hole of Calcutta.
20:27May I come in, Minister?
20:28You can try.
20:29This is all we needed.
20:32Welcome to the Standing Committee.
20:35Sir Frederick, you've seen this abominable speech.
20:37What are we going to do about it?
20:38Well, Minister, Foreign Secretary...
20:41I think...
20:45I think we know what's behind it.
20:48Don't we, Happy?
20:50Happy?
20:51I think Sir Frederick is suggesting that the offending paragraph may be,
20:57shall we say, a bargaining counter.
20:59You mean he wants something?
21:00Well, if he doesn't, why send us an advance copy?
21:02I see.
21:03Well, why don't you find out what it is he wants?
21:05Because the embassy staff are all new.
21:07We've only just seen the speech,
21:08and no one knows anything about this new president.
21:11Except me.
21:12Except you.
21:13How?
21:14They were at university together.
21:16The old boy network.
21:18Hey, that was 25 years ago.
21:20He may not even remember me.
21:22No, I don't really think I could...
21:24I think you ought to see him, Sir Frederick.
21:26No, Minister, I think you'll carry more weight.
21:31Well, we're all agreed, then, that the mountain shall go to Muhammad.
21:33Oh, no, no, no.
21:34Jim's going.
21:35That's what I meant.
21:38All right.
21:39But you'll have to come with me.
21:41Well, of course, Minister.
21:43I'd hardly let you do it on your own.
21:50Jim, come in.
21:53How nice to see you again.
21:55Charlie, long time no see.
21:57You don't have to speak pigeon English to me, Jim.
22:02This is Humphrey Appleby, my permanent under-secretary.
22:04You're excellent, sir.
22:05How do you do?
22:07Do sit down.
22:09I've always thought that permanent under-secretary is such a demeaning title.
22:15I beg your pardon?
22:17Sounds like an assistant typist or something.
22:20Whereas, you're really in charge of everything, aren't you?
22:24Well, not quite everything.
22:27Charlie, I suppose I should congratulate you on becoming head of state.
22:30Oh, thanks.
22:31It wasn't difficult.
22:32I didn't have to do any of the boring things like fighting elections.
22:37Or by elections.
22:40Jim, of course I'm delighted to see you, but is this purely a social visit
22:45or is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?
22:48Because I do have to put the finishing touches to my speech.
22:51Ah.
22:52Well, yes.
22:53Actually, we have seen an advance copy.
22:55You liked it?
22:56Oh.
22:57Um, Charlie, may I speak frankly?
23:00I mean, we're old friends, aren't we?
23:01Of course.
23:02You must realize that that bit about colonialist oppression
23:05was a bit, well, very, um...
23:10Well, actually, profoundly embarrassing.
23:13That passage where you urged the Scots and the Irish to, uh...
23:20I wonder if you could, um, give it a miss.
23:24Give it a miss?
23:25Yes.
23:26But this is something I feel very, very deeply to be true.
23:30Surely the British don't believe in suppressing the truth?
23:33Oh, good heavens, no!
23:36I wonder if there's anything that might persuade the President
23:38to consider recasting that sentence
23:40and transferring the emphasis
23:42from the specific instance to the abstract concept
23:45without, of course, in any way impairing
23:47the conceptual integrity of the theme.
23:51Yes.
23:52Oh, may I change the subject?
23:54Oh, Jim, while you were here, oh, may I sound you out
24:03on the proposal I was going to make to the Prime Minister at our talks?
24:06What provision?
24:07Our little change of government has quite unnecessarily alarmed
24:11some of the investors in our oil industry.
24:13Only temporarily, of course, but, uh...
24:15It does mean that we need a little British investment to tie this over.
24:19To restore confidence, sir.
24:21You know...
24:22How much?
24:2350 million pounds.
24:25Ask him on what terms?
24:28On what terms?
24:32On what terms?
24:33Repayment of the capital, not to start before 10 years,
24:36and, oh, interest-free?
24:38Er...
24:39Er...
24:40Er...
24:41Er...
24:42Er...
24:4350 million pounds.
24:44Er...
24:45It's a lot of money.
24:46Er...
24:47I see.
24:48Well, in that case...
24:49Er...
24:50But that doesn't mean to say we can't talk about it.
24:51Eh, Humphrey?
24:52Interest-free, 10 years, assuming that the interest would have been 10%.
24:58He's asking for a free gift of 50 million pounds.
25:02You know, it would appear that what you're actually asking for
25:05is a free gift of about 50 million pounds.
25:08Hmm.
25:09That's to your advantage.
25:10We would use the loan to buy all rigs built in the Clyde.
25:13Hmm.
25:14Well...
25:16He's asking us to give him 50 million pounds
25:19so that he can buy our oil rigs with our money.
25:22Hmm.
25:23Hmm.
25:24Hmm.
25:25Reasonable to me.
25:29Reasonable, Minister.
25:30Lots of jobs, Humphrey.
25:32Er...
25:33Charlie, supposing it were possible to do this deal,
25:35would you find it possible to make the, er,
25:38necessary cuts in your speech today?
25:41Oh.
25:43Hmm.
25:44Yes.
25:45But I'd have to know now.
25:46Blackmail.
25:49Are you describing me or my proposal?
25:54Your proposal, naturally.
25:57No, no, not even your proposal.
26:01Well, I think we can come to agreement, don't you, Humphrey?
26:05Minister.
26:10Could I have a word with you?
26:12Yes.
26:13No, no, no.
26:18Would you excuse us for excellency?
26:24Is anything wrong?
26:25Is anything right?
26:26He's offering us a way out.
26:27A way out? You call a gift of 50 million pounds a way out?
26:30It's a loan.
26:31Well, call it what you like. We'll never get it back.
26:32Well.
26:33You're proposing to buy a way out of political involvement
26:35with 50 million pounds of public money.
26:37It's diplomacy.
26:38It's corruption, Minister.
26:41K-B-E.
26:44Humphrey?
26:46You mean...
26:51Yes, I see.
26:55I suppose we don't want the Soviets to invest in Buranda, do we?
27:03And I suppose it could be argued that we have a responsibility to the, um...
27:10T-P-L-A-C's?
27:13Yes.
27:15Quite.
27:16Oh, good.
27:18Mr. President.
27:20I think we can cut the terms after all.
27:22Well, you know my price.
27:24And you know mine.
27:26Everyone has his price?
27:31Yes, Minister.
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