Have you ever scrolled through old photos and thought about reaching out to a friend from your past, only to hesitate? What's holding you back—the fear, the uncertainty, or the "what ifs"?
In this episode of "What Do You Have to Say?", hosts Uriah and Phil dive deep into the healing power—and potential pitfalls—of reconnecting. They explore the powerful pull of nostalgia and how it often clashes with present-day reality.
Join the conversation as they share personal stories about the emotional weight of past relationships and how revisiting those chapters can lead to profound personal growth. Discover why some connections are meant to be revisited for closure, why others can be beautifully rekindled, and how every reunion offers a new perspective on who you are today. This isn't just about looking back; it's about moving forward with greater understanding.
Have you reconnected with someone from your past? Share your experience—good or bad—in the comments below! We'd love to hear your story.
#Reconnecting #Nostalgia #PersonalGrowth #OldFriends #HealingJourney #PastRelationships #SelfReflection #MentalWellness
Key Takeaways from This Discussion
Here are the main insights listeners will gain from this episode:
Reconnection Can Be Healing: Revisiting past friendships can provide closure, understanding, and a powerful sense of healing for old wounds or unresolved feelings.
Beware the Nostalgia Trap: It's important to separate the warm, idealized feeling of nostalgia from the reality of who people are today. Both you and they have changed.
Past Relationships Carry Weight: Old connections hold significant emotional weight. Acknowledging this is the first step toward understanding their impact on your present life.
Growth Through Reflection: Looking back at past experiences and relationships with a new perspective is a crucial catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness.
Reconnecting Isn't Always Rekindling: The goal of reconnecting doesn't always have to be about reviving an old friendship. Sometimes, it's simply about gaining a new understanding and then moving on.
Value Authentic Connections: The conversation highlights the immense value of authentic connections, both past and present, and the importance of nurturing the ones that truly matter.
In this episode of "What Do You Have to Say?", hosts Uriah and Phil dive deep into the healing power—and potential pitfalls—of reconnecting. They explore the powerful pull of nostalgia and how it often clashes with present-day reality.
Join the conversation as they share personal stories about the emotional weight of past relationships and how revisiting those chapters can lead to profound personal growth. Discover why some connections are meant to be revisited for closure, why others can be beautifully rekindled, and how every reunion offers a new perspective on who you are today. This isn't just about looking back; it's about moving forward with greater understanding.
Have you reconnected with someone from your past? Share your experience—good or bad—in the comments below! We'd love to hear your story.
#Reconnecting #Nostalgia #PersonalGrowth #OldFriends #HealingJourney #PastRelationships #SelfReflection #MentalWellness
Key Takeaways from This Discussion
Here are the main insights listeners will gain from this episode:
Reconnection Can Be Healing: Revisiting past friendships can provide closure, understanding, and a powerful sense of healing for old wounds or unresolved feelings.
Beware the Nostalgia Trap: It's important to separate the warm, idealized feeling of nostalgia from the reality of who people are today. Both you and they have changed.
Past Relationships Carry Weight: Old connections hold significant emotional weight. Acknowledging this is the first step toward understanding their impact on your present life.
Growth Through Reflection: Looking back at past experiences and relationships with a new perspective is a crucial catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness.
Reconnecting Isn't Always Rekindling: The goal of reconnecting doesn't always have to be about reviving an old friendship. Sometimes, it's simply about gaining a new understanding and then moving on.
Value Authentic Connections: The conversation highlights the immense value of authentic connections, both past and present, and the importance of nurturing the ones that truly matter.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00okay hey everybody hey i love this this is the theme song right it is so welcome everybody
00:12welcome my name is uriah last name city cty and this is my cousin philip hello and this is
00:21what do you have to say what do you have to say what do you have to say all right man this is
00:27great this is great what do you how are you doing right now in this moment i i'm awesome i i have
00:36had a great day today um i get to uh share with with my people and i get to share with you and
00:45you got people with you right now i do got people with me so don't try nothing because i got my
00:50people we ride deep so okay just that's all that's all but what do you have to say some people
00:57and i'm hoping that there are some people that yes are watching us and that will give us a like
01:04y'all you know you've heard that a thousand times about was it likes like subscribe yes and all that
01:11kind of stuff hit that notification so you'll know you know right and it will help us because we're
01:17just getting started in this podcast oh man two of us and we hope that you'll come along with us
01:23whatever that means for you yes yes i know whatever that means yeah but you're here today so
01:29what do you got to say yeah i'm yeah i'm here it's been uh uh it's been a long day and i think what
01:37we're what we'll end up talking about today sort of connects to a little bit of my day today and okay
01:44and um okay and connecting to blast people from the past blast from the past people that you haven't
01:52seen in a long time okay a long time wow and i i got curious about that and i wanted to ask you and
02:02i wanted to you know ask people that might be listening you know you know are they interested in
02:11connecting connecting reconnecting with people from the past because you know we we've we probably
02:15all had that that moment where we bumped into somebody from our past or you got a call or it's
02:22the class reunion family reunion whatever where there's yes nostalgia and and they people want to get
02:29together and we might like have anxiety or maybe we dread it oh you know when we see that familiar
02:36your face when we do see them a lot of stuff races through our minds you know because our mind races
02:42through times and connects to right where we were in the past with them maybe it was in a good place
02:48maybe it wasn't in a good place right so right right today we want to i don't know if we want to dive
02:55deep we won't have time to dive deep but we want to dive into okay i'm in for it i thank you
03:01yeah i think that that is that's a great um great place to start you know just blast from the past
03:08and it brings back memories of you know people that i would or people that i would like to see
03:15um that i'm not connected with now um and i have tried to find some people from the past
03:22and uh on social media and just to see how they were and um see how they were doing and how their lives
03:30have turned you know blossomed and bloomed and you know just to see where they are and um i like that
03:37blast from the past blast from the past and i i was looking at youtube shorts a little bit earlier
03:45today and i found one i thought was interesting you know somebody just talking about why it or i think
03:53they they said they read somewhere or saw somewhere that uh it can be a good thing to
04:00reconnect with people from the past um this is here's what they were saying about it okay did that show
04:07for you yes okay here we go
04:10uh-oh buffer when people are too close similar level okay yeah
04:24come on now it's coming
04:29i'd like that i'm wondering have you have you had that experience where you've been away from a
04:54a friend or someone that you hadn't seen in a very long time but when you come right back together
04:59it's like absolutely left absolutely absolutely i um in fact i could use um uh this one friend that
05:09i grew up with and i still have kind of contact with um maybe every several years or something if i
05:17um if i see them um if i see them and it's like it's like old times like we have never left that
05:26when they say that same level level of vulnerability and that same depth of conversation is it's right there
05:32we don't have to um we don't even have to guess who we are um with it you know uh with each other
05:40because we know we pick up right right where we left off so right yeah left off i um when i
05:49got together with some friends earlier that some i hadn't seen in many years okay and the the one thing
05:56that struck me is like one of them i sort of had some resentment you know how we might be feeling certain
06:05things but you know there's everybody's got a story and when i saw them today and i understood
06:13some of the experiences that they were having during some i is like got it and i i apologized
06:21that i had even some resentment knowing who they were at the time and what they were going and they
06:28heard me out too because they they also said oh i didn't know i was coming across that way to you at
06:36that time blah blah blah and it was very healing for me wow i'm glad it was very healing because i
06:46had thought of something particular about this individual and then to come to find out there was a
06:52whole lot right behind that and you know it makes me think you know there's a whole lot behind each and
07:01every one of us right each and every one of us i everyone and i think sometimes and your uh feelings
07:10were valid and as well as probably their feelings were valid you know for them at that time and um we have
07:20to what i say apply if we have the opportunity to hear someone else's story and where they were at
07:28that moment yes and what was going on and we just apply grace we move on because we're we evolve we and
07:36um we're just not you know what they say hopefully we evolve well hopefully hopefully hopefully but i mean
07:45it's it's uh that's happened in real life for you today that you did evolve it you know so it gives
07:52testament to that fact that we do um or some of us um do if we choose and our experiences
07:59cause us to but i'm glad that happened today yeah i am too it was a long day but i wouldn't have
08:06changed it right for the world right and you know it goes to show that our relationships past
08:14relationships even current relationships with people they hold emotional weight whether we realize
08:20it or not and there is a benefit you know maybe we won't be like in that little clip that we saw that
08:26we just start right back from but sometimes it can help with unresolved issues or just for the
08:33nostalgia of things maybe you'll never see that person again but you come back and you
08:37reminisce of what was and then you just right right right and and you said something you said something
08:45that resonated with me when you said um don't you may not see them again because just because you
08:52are connecting in this moment does not mean that we are to carry this any further and i think that
08:59sometimes we make that mistake uh yeah we we we need to reconnect and that's a whole lot of pressure
09:06and it's unnecessary yeah i believe so i mean um as you know uh starting that back up again whatever
09:16that um starting that friendship up at least it would be pressure for me um because i may not want it
09:24even though we have reconciled or we're good with each other that doesn't mean that i want to
09:32you know pick right back up well you are you would both be in different places in your life and that
09:40place when your life is like oh it's really great to see you have a you know i'll see you later whenever
09:46i see you next and keep moving doesn't mean you dislike them but you're just in a different place
09:50your different space right right you know that's why i was i in that conversation it caused me to
09:57remember when uh when i went away to college i had grown close to someone that went to the same high
10:07school with me but i didn't know them well at all i think they were like just a year in front of me
10:12and um uh when we were both away from college there would be times where um over the holidays
10:20um i would bring them back home i would drive them home and we would go back together and then we
10:26started to cultivate a relationship well the friendship relationship up at college and this was
10:34someone i didn't know and they i thought they were just very quiet and studious and stuff like that but
10:40we partied at college they were hilarious and they stayed in one a different dorm and i stayed in
10:50another and i would go and visit her and um we i i we just really got along and then you know things
10:58happen i think i left school and um i think there was an email or maybe i don't know but we lost
11:07connection and i was talking to my friend today who knows this individual and they said oh yeah
11:16they're on facebook and i was like i had looked for them and i you know what here i'm just remembering
11:21i think i looked for them and i thought it's been such a long time would just like you said are they
11:28in a place do do they want to connect is it meaningful for them at this time so yeah yeah but i think i'm
11:36gonna reach out and whatever happens happens you know i think hey i think that you should and um it
11:45brings to mind that i want to reach out or at least try to find someone um uh that they may be on facebook
11:56or so some social media um and um you know they may be married huh they may be oh they may be married
12:07married with a different name you know or something and i'm sure i i don't know um even some some people
12:17in my neighborhood that i grew up with uh just to see you know how they are and um just to see um
12:26and the guys will probably i could probably find them because uh their name wouldn't be changed but uh
12:34yeah i think reconnecting with people from your past um it is it helps uh it helps keep me grounded
12:47grounded or it would help you keep grounded grounded as in um just where you came from and
12:54where you are where you were then and where you are now i think that's great well you know it was
13:00interesting i guess you probably get this in class reunion reunions and stuff but i i haven't been to a
13:07class reunion but there there were a couple of people one was someone i knew much better and then
13:15someone i i knew was friend friendly with but i was they said they gave me a different perception of
13:25who i thought i was you know um they always thought oh you were always so confident and you you uh you
13:36talk to everybody and i was like who are you talking about you and that's what they perceived for that
13:44you know that's what they perceived and sometimes our perception isn't the same as what other people
13:51people right right right so it's interesting so i i was wondering i was just thinking about like
13:58what do you think we're talking about blast for the past meeting people desiring to talk to people that
14:08we've seen in the past what do you think we can learn from our past relationships how do you think
14:14what do you think that we learn from our past relationships how it can help us presently or
14:19in the future what immediately comes to my mind is and this may be wrong but um not where to end up
14:30as in the fact as in um gosh this is gonna sound bad but i'm glad and then i'm glad that i did i didn't
14:43end up like that um gotcha okay you know and that's immediately came to my mind if um what did i do
14:51what did i do with my life or what have i done with my life um and i know that comparison thing
14:59um me comparing my life to to a past friend or something like that it's not really beneficial
15:04and helpful but i would probably i would probably go there first like what are they doing what what
15:11not judging what you're saying that that comparing maybe you're grateful yeah right maybe you're grateful
15:20that you're not where you were right right or did not continue on that path you know because all of
15:28the um maybe we had a party you were talking about partying and partying relationship and those kind
15:35of things and some some people that i was connected to back then they have stayed there or they have
15:42you know just and but i have moved um and just by the grace of god that that i have just kind of
15:52changed a little bit you know still just working on this but um that's what i i think that would be
15:58beneficial to me if i did see someone from the past and i i will have to say something about
16:06meeting a friend maybe two years ago i went to a teacher's conference um called a mega conference and
16:14teachers go for pd and get professional development and my very favorite his friend from uh high school
16:22my high school senior year um she was um we would we were in theater together in the drama department
16:32so she had a volkswagen she had a car i didn't have a car and so you know how that relationship just
16:39works out and i had not seen her for years i'm not gonna say how many years that i have been out of
16:50high school right and i went to a mega conference two years ago and she was a presenter and her name
16:58is dr such and such and such and such and okay i i walked into not knowing i walked into her class
17:07uh or her presentation that she was doing about education um educators and um just their effectiveness
17:14in the classroom and um i looked at her and then i she looked at me and i looked at her and i was like
17:23you know that couldn't be and that was the bestest reunion and that best you know that um we just
17:33connected and you know what we connected for that day and probably the next day for that conference
17:40and um she lives in alabama and we just kind of have connected on um facebook and me keeping up with
17:49her and her family and and me and um not any pressure of trying to reconnect those because that was
17:57then you know and so yeah and that just brought back to mind about uh reconnecting with someone
18:04and but that was a great great connection reconnect that is that is a wonderful connection because
18:10it was a it was a good friend of yours and there was simpatico there and years later both of you are in
18:19the same field doing the same thing so that sort of tells you you know informing your present from the
18:27past is that oh i was around somebody that had some similar values and goals and we were moving
18:35maybe we came down a different path but we were right direction so that brings me to to sort of talk a
18:43little bit about how i think sometimes we we get nostalgic about the past versus reality and i don't know if
18:54you have but i have a couple of friends who live in the past and they want to when you engage with them
19:07they almost want to take you back to another time and it's hard to interact that way because i'm i'm not
19:16there right i'm not there anymore right it's not like a negative thing i do think fondly of some
19:24periods in the past but you know we're here now and right every time that say you and i get together
19:33if we're always talking about yesterday right right right it doesn't leave any room for
19:40the reality of today and who we are well what does that speak to that they would rather just remember
19:52you that way or just stay let's um there's a word that i cannot think of but it is just stay in that
20:02area in that era where you both were at a time um and just to see you you know myopically or in one
20:13directional that that's where you are you would you are now well there's two things i'm thinking about
20:19i'm thinking about one that for the individual it's more about them being stuck okay right they're stuck
20:31in a particular place they long for the nostalgia of days gone by right i think the other thing that
20:41happens when i think about that because this happens too um especially with people that you've known
20:49in the past like college or blah blah blah blah oh remember when you used to do this remember this
20:55and you remember that i remember you were doing this and well that was then and i think that was for
21:04me i think that's a little stupid i would never do that now but i'm gonna do that can we talk about
21:10where we are now our journeys to today and yes then if we can do all that it's fun then to go back
21:17right remember when we did that crazy shit and right we did that yeah we did that that was stupid but we
21:25did we did we did and we got through and hallelujah i was not arrested oh and i didn't get pulled over
21:35or anything like that and i just told i just told aunt rose i gave her a little memory of me and
21:45my friend jerry when we was younger and stupid you know when you when you when you grow up in the
21:53midwest um some time ago uh drinking and driving was there wasn't a thought about it and we were young
22:04and stupid with a cooler beer cooler uh 24 pack you don't need a 24 pack of beer to stupid teenagers
22:15in the back seat and that's a lot of beer man yeah it's a lot of beer and we was drunk
22:22like we got pulled over by the sheriff or the police we got pulled over in the police we was going
22:30we were driving to the next biggest city in wichita to to see uh my friend's sister and it was late
22:38we woke him up we was stupid but we had that beer in the back seat and we told the cops oh we're
22:45going to a party we did not drink any
22:47did we get away yes we did yeah was it stupid yes it was
22:56wow i yeah yeah drinking and driving that was just that was oh wait yeah but i have some not
23:07that friend but i have some people that like to talk about the crazy things that you did and i'm
23:12right right right and uh it just keeps them stuck and fixated in the past and yes maybe that was
23:19that it was um they believed that that was their best uh or they haven't yet experienced you know
23:28what what really um maybe their purpose is or where they should be not should be but evolved we talked
23:37about you know some people don't evolve and maybe that happened but um wow you know some people stay
23:46there yeah they do they stay there i wonder they stay there in when we're talking about nostalgia
23:52versus reality and all that stuff it's like when there are blasts from the past and and people show
23:59up in your life one way or another whether it's through facebook or dm somewhere or a reunion
24:06everything like that um i wonder if um i wonder if those if it can be good for us to deal with
24:14mistakes we made in the past or regrets that we had or uh moving on from things or something like that
24:25what well i think that it could well just like you you experienced some reconciliation today
24:32um i think where it could be helpful if um maybe if i was triggered and i saw that person again
24:40and those memories would start flooding back and says oh that's you you know um i remember when
24:48the you said this and you know it didn't end so well but um in my immediacy
24:55now i'm not it's not coming to me but maybe if i was triggered and saw them you know um i think it
25:05would be just a an opportunity to to talk things out and rehash and see if if if that's what it called
25:14for if it didn't call for that for us to you know i'm good because i'm not losing any sleep over it
25:22right now keep moving so and you know i've moved on and either you you have it because it is still
25:31you know and you know um it's still yeah it's still there and it's right right here so yeah if if i'm
25:42not if i don't see that person um i'm not triggered you know to okay relive those memories but some
25:50people like you say they stay they stay there they stay stay there and you know i knew a person
25:56that um kind of lived back there you know you did this and i didn't this wasn't fair and they
26:06they they were stuck there and it just it just didn't end well because number one you alienate
26:14people when you you stay back there and you don't allow people to because you haven't grown
26:23you know you assume that everybody is thinking about you but but not for real it's still the same
26:29and sometimes we won't we won't allow someone's we won't they've changed but we want to make them
26:37that same we want to make them because that makes us comfortable at least that's my absolutely i think
26:44it makes us be able to number one if um and i don't have the terms for it but it's like uh i just
26:54keep you here because that's where i can manage and control you is through this right here right when
27:00i keep you in this one little layer right right right because if and then i don't acknowledge that
27:07you know it's too painful for me to acknowledge that you have moved forward that you're really
27:13not there and i think subconsciously you may know that i'm not there and that's as far as the extent
27:19of my psychological evaluation you know don't that's it we're sort of talking about this a little
27:26bit but i'm curious about it because i'm gonna i'm gonna ask you about class reunions because i've
27:32not been to one class reunion i i i was gonna go this last year but some things came up and i i couldn't
27:39make it but how are you with class reunions do you go are you interested in going etc etc okay
27:47so i just went to one during the holidays and it was people that graduated in whatever year that
27:56i graduated okay it was you know it was a decades reunion you know so it was whatever class that
28:05you deck your uh decades instead of just this particular year um and when i have to say be
28:12honest with you i did not remember anyone um i did not i did not because well this is unique because
28:21i moved in my senior year so i only had one year to develop relationships with this with the senior
28:29class and i was i was the outsider um you know even though i was involved in a lot of things i was
28:37still not you know so uh developing those relationships didn't really manifest besides my
28:44one friend girl you know um and we kind of connected there but um reunions i will uh i did get on the
28:55um reunion list the reunion email and everything but i i just did not i did not recognize you didn't
29:05recognize i didn't so and that was the first one i had been no okay uh they had like little events like
29:12a fish fry or not not out or something like that um that i was drugged to uh but i i would like to get
29:22more involved but just not knowing a lot of my classmates it's kind of and i do remember some of them
29:32but i didn't remember them this went during the holidays but uh do you go you said that you had
29:38missed an opportunity to go i i haven't you don't want to go i i i was back during uh no i went that's
29:48a lie i guess i did go once okay go once um it was okay i felt out of place but that's partly me right
29:58okay okay okay um is it is it out of place um through because of um expectations you believe
30:11that there were expectations put on you oh no self stuff self stuff huh self stuff self yeah yeah um
30:20yeah and i'm just i'm just learning that people they really don't care you know you said that it's
30:31really funny uh um there's a video did you ever watch the show schitt's creek
30:37briefly i and not enough to to know i just it is probably one of my favorite shows it is very
30:47sentimental it is very it's about relationships okay different different types and difficult
30:55especially with family but there's this one scene where it's a sister and brother and brother's sort
31:02of neurotic and anxious and sister is out doing she she got a big story and he's learning how to drive
31:12for the first time and he's just anxious and she goes to him david nobody cares nobody cares he goes
31:21well yeah the the the the the driving instructor cares and she goes no he doesn't care he goes and
31:28and i love i was triggered to remember that because of what you just said and it's really true so
31:33sometimes we get in our head yes you know class reunion i said i was thinking about myself nobody
31:40really cares they really and i'm i'm i'm learning in just real life everyone is so consumed not so
31:52consumed but they they're they're just a word about their own life and their own stuff that
31:59they're not they're not worth they're not thinking about you and if they care and then we got to be
32:07curious why they care so much cares that's right exactly exactly they were curious yeah i want to
32:15show this short clip i think for me it's heartwarming but it's tied to this notion of blast from the past
32:23and especially with friends and and sometimes seeing a friend from the past and being able to connect can be
32:30so meaningful in this particular clip i love it because uh it's a uh they surprised this guy
32:37surprised his friend another guy friend that he hadn't seen in years and i just love the video of
32:44how meaningful it was uh let me put this up here wow that triggers something else man yeah yeah it
32:50triggers something for you okay let me yeah i had to replace the music in it because i didn't want us
32:57to get taken down yes please do thank you and please don't report us thank you
33:03we know yeah that's all i'm saying don't report us okay oh man i think it's okay oh man
33:13i'd have you seen it yes oh i love it oh man he just
33:25look you can't fake that right there you can't fake it at all you can't fake that right there that
33:35meant something that you know you just cannot explain and that right there that that makes my
33:43heart just happy um and i was gonna say i love watching those videos those shorts of people just
33:52that genuine authentic that hug man if you if you could bottle that and sell it you would be a
34:01billionaire of that right there a billionaire a billionaire you can't um that man he grabbed his
34:10friend like what absolutely and those we live for that we know we live wow wow thank you man i thank you
34:23phil for this conversation i loved it thank you everybody who's watching please like and subscribe
34:29and do all the things and yeah hopefully you'll come along on this journey with this
34:34please do please do hit your cart to ours we're going we're going that's it all right take care man okay
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