- 6 weeks ago
In this episode, we delve into the common tradition of New Year's resolutions and examine why they often fail to meet expectations. Phil & Uriah discuss the power of setting personal goals that are specific, measurable, and truly meaningful to you.
Discover how shifting from resolutions to goals can lead to sustainable change and personal growth. Tune in to learn how to craft goals that align with your values and aspirations, and start the year with a mindset geared towards lasting success.
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Discover how shifting from resolutions to goals can lead to sustainable change and personal growth. Tune in to learn how to craft goals that align with your values and aspirations, and start the year with a mindset geared towards lasting success.
**Fair Use Statement for [What Do You Have To say?]:**
This podcast utilizes short excerpts of music and video clips for the purpose of critical commentary, review, and analysis, falling under the "fair use" doctrine as outlined in Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act. We consider the four factors of fair use in our production:
1. **Purpose and Character of Use:** Our use is transformative, adding new perspectives, insights, and discussion to the original material, primarily for non-profit educational and commentary purposes, even if monetized.
2. **Nature of the Copyrighted Work:** We may use excerpts from both factual and creative works, always aiming for a balanced and justifiable application of fair use principles.
3. **Amount and Substantiality:** We use only the necessary portions of copyrighted works to illustrate our points, avoiding the use of entire works or significant, "heart" portions where possible.
4. **Effect Upon Potential Market:** We believe our use does not negatively impact the market for or value of the original copyrighted works. Instead, our commentary may encourage further engagement with the original content.
All copyrighted material belongs to its respective owners.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hello everyone, it's Phil. This episode is about New Year's resolutions. Yeah, I know, it's August, but we believe it's always a good time to think about what you may want to keep, toss, or change. And do resolutions really work? Take a listen and let us know.
00:30Together we lift our voices and let them ring. Talking about life, we got stories to reveal.
01:00One. And, well, what do you got to say in this first day of the year?
01:05Well, first of all, I got to say, I'm glad to be doing this with you. And that I know that you have a lot to say. I got a lot to say. And that we're just going to bring it to the people. Let them decide. Because I know that they have something to say.
01:24What people? What people? I'm talking about the people that are going to be tuning in, listening, and just building this community of people that have something to say.
01:39And we have so many voiceless people here and voiceless, and that may not be the right thing to say, but voiceless people. And we want to give them an opportunity to listen and respond and just join with us and build this community.
01:58I love that. And no, it is the right thing to say, voiceless people. So many people feel like they can't say anything.
02:06Right, right.
02:07And I know that we haven't really talked about this, but my hope for the future of the podcast and the community that we're going to build is that we will be able to have other people come in.
02:21Yes, yes, yes.
02:23Let them say something here in this podcast because it's all about what you have to say. It ain't just about what I have to say, but we do want people from other people. Yeah.
02:34I can see that expansion happening. Even calling in, I don't know how that's going to look, but I can see that happening. And definitely in the progression of things.
02:48Yeah.
02:48That's on the way.
02:49In the progression.
02:51Yeah, yeah. But let's start today. What do you have to say about New Year's resolutions?
02:59About New Year's resolutions? Well, I don't really prescribe to that anymore. I can always remember in grade school, every year, they wanted to talk about New Year's resolutions. What is your New Year's resolution?
03:20And I think sometimes, especially when you're young, and I'm just thinking back in time now, I don't know what I really want to do. I think some people have, I'm sure you've heard, whether it's on radio, TV, somewhere, or maybe a friend or yourself, those people that absolutely knew what they wanted to do.
03:44Mm-hmm.
03:44Yes.
03:46I want to do this. I want to do this. That's never been me.
03:48And so I never knew really what a New Year's resolution was. All I can remember is my mom always wanted me to have a better attitude. Now, she said that at New Year's, at her birthday, Christmas. What do you want for Christmas? I want you to have a better attitude.
04:11For some reason, for some reason, for some reason, I can see that happening.
04:20Especially for, yes, I can see that happening. A better attitude. Wow.
04:29For me, resolutions, I used to ascribe to them. And when I found out, and I dug and did some research for this, for today, I found out that 90, it says 80% of people fail on their New Year's resolutions.
04:5580%, okay? And the 20% that do kind of follow through with them, 70% of them, of that 20, fail.
05:06So it kind of changed my perspective of now, I don't set a resolution. I have some goals and some systems and some structures that I want to, some things that I want to maintain and develop, and some things that I want to toss, keep, and some things I want to develop.
05:27So, this year, I don't have really a resolution. I want to maintain what I have physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally, financially.
05:43And there are some things that I want to see grow and mature. But as far as, this is what I'm going to do. This is how it's going to look like.
05:54Because I think people, we have, it's a lot of pressure at the beginning of the year to change.
06:06It's, you know, you have to change. You know, society or, you know, social media is telling, this is the way you do this, and this is the way you get this, and it's the beginning of the year.
06:16And why haven't you quit smoking yet? Why haven't you, why are you still kind of large? Or, you know, what, what's, I'm in the gym, you know, or why, and that's pressure.
06:29And that's why I read that in two weeks, people are going to be through with their resolutions because, you know, they did not approach it as a lifestyle change or a growth mindset change or a way that something that is sustainable.
06:53Because, number one, their goals may be too vague, or their resolutions may be too vague, and they're not able to really follow through on all of it.
07:02But anyway, I'm getting ahead of my head.
07:04I wonder if there is some pressure, because you mentioned about gym and maybe some other things.
07:15Because in our social media, it's telling you it's the beginning of the year, and this is the biggest time for all gyms.
07:24I remembered a year ago, I had, I was working with my personal trainer, and in the gym, it was quite busy.
07:35And we had this conversation about, oh, yes, the beginning of the year.
07:38And I remember checking in several months later, maybe even mid-year, and I just remember saying to him, oh, wow, it's quiet in here.
07:48And he goes, oh, yeah, you know, people are falling off their plan.
07:53And there is something, and I remember reading about it at the gyms.
08:02Because this is the time where they sign up the most people, but most people only go, that sign up in January, only go in that month, and they fall off after.
08:13So they make a lot of money signing up.
08:16Oh, absolutely.
08:17Absolutely.
08:18Absolutely.
08:19Yeah.
08:20Have you noticed that, just to piggyback on what you said, that even my personal experience at the YMCA,
08:29it is, you can't get a machine, or, you know, you can't get weights.
08:34It depends on what time you go, because it is so, everybody is in, in there trying to do that New Year's resolution thing.
08:42But by February and March, you can, you know, pick your spot.
08:49And, you know, while we were talking about that, the things I really wrote down was resolutions that work.
09:00Because I want to be able to give solutions to, you know, counter to why they don't work.
09:07Resolutions don't work, but resolutions that do, because, and to identify that, you know, most of the resolutions, they deal with self-improvement, personal finances, mental health, exercise more, improve the loose weight, and all of this.
09:26And maybe, well, before you, before you go into the ones that do work, some of the reasons why I'm imagining why is a lot of the resolutions are these sweeping changes that people are trying to make.
09:44And I mean, there are big changes.
09:46Big, big, big.
09:47I'm going to be in the gym three times a week.
09:49I'm going to lose this much weight.
09:50I'm going to, I'm going to do this.
09:52I'm going to be cleaning.
09:53All these things are grand, right?
09:55And they're really good things to think about to do, but we don't think about the process of change.
10:05And first, we don't think about that process of change, right?
10:10And change is uncomfortable.
10:15And most people do not want to be uncomfortable.
10:18So when you say, I'm going to do all of this, and now it's time to do all of this,
10:22especially when it comes to things like changing your behavior when it comes to eating or some kind of physical kind of thing.
10:32It's uncomfortable just going to the gym, especially for people who might be overweight.
10:39You got to get, be in this place where everybody is fit.
10:44Well, we know that's not the truth, but you got to be uncomfortable.
10:47And so in order to see lasting change, you're going to have to be in a state of discomfort for sometimes a really long period of time.
10:57And just like you were saying, maybe not setting the really big goals, but things that are achievable.
11:06Correct, because it takes work.
11:12It takes commitment.
11:15And like you say, in this society that we live in, everything is instantaneous.
11:21I mean, we are in a results-driven society.
11:28And people don't really take into perspective that this takes work, and this does not happen overnight.
11:37And it is here.
11:39It's in a mindset, and it is here.
11:43And just how committed are we?
11:46How committed are you?
11:48And one reason, you know, I think that some solutions or resolutions don't really pan out, you know, your motivation for it fades.
12:04Because you're looking for results like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
12:08And it takes longer than two weeks for you to get your Instagram model size.
12:15You know, even if that is, I mean, that's another show.
12:20Model size, that's some bullshit right there.
12:23Woo!
12:24Whatever.
12:25I love it.
12:26I love it, models.
12:27Yes, yes.
12:29They don't trick people into believing you got to be a fan.
12:32You know, but it takes work.
12:36And building those systems in place, building those routines in place, and most definitely knowing
12:44why you're doing it.
12:46If you do not know the why, why do you want to get fit?
12:51Why do you want to read more every day?
12:56Why do you want to increase your finances?
12:58Why?
12:59What's your why?
13:01Why you want it?
13:01Your purpose and your meaning.
13:03If those things are not identified, you know, it's just like you're just...
13:08I love that you say, why are you doing it?
13:11Yes.
13:12I think that's important.
13:13In that why are you doing it, a lot of times people will say a statement like this.
13:17You've probably heard it.
13:18You've probably said it.
13:19I know that I've said it.
13:21Well, I should go to the gym.
13:23I should be cleaning more often.
13:26I should be visiting blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
13:28My friend, whenever you hear the should word in a statement that you make yourself or to
13:36someone else or someone makes, that's a statement of judging.
13:40And so we're saying, oh, I should be doing that.
13:45And if you don't do it, then you might have some guilt and or more likely some shame when
13:52you don't follow through.
13:53Right, right.
13:56Well, then the accountability word comes to my brain when you're talking about follow
14:03through.
14:04I mean, if we don't have anybody that we're accountable to, it's like...
14:08And if we're not accountable to ourselves, then, oh, you know, that, it goes by the wayside.
14:16But finding out what your why is, why do you want to...
14:25And what's the end goal of it?
14:27Well, when you say why are you doing it, that makes me think oftentimes, I think we talked
14:32about it just a little bit a second ago.
14:35Sometimes we're doing it for other people.
14:36When we're talking about, like, some changes and weight seems to be the one that comes
14:43up a lot, we're doing it because mama or daddy or partner said, oh, you've gained a lot of
14:52weight, right?
14:55Or you're judging yourself based on an ideal that you see and a wish that you have for
15:05yourself, you're not doing it for yourself.
15:08And if you don't do it for you, that's going to be really hard for you to stick with it.
15:14It is.
15:15It definitely is.
15:16And while you say that, there were, there are, like, two types of goals, be goals and do
15:26goals.
15:28And when we fail to identify which one, we set ourselves up for failure.
15:37It's that be goals, who do you want to be?
15:39And do goals, what do you want to achieve?
15:43So those two types of resolutions that I may be just a little bit ahead of myself on, who
15:51do you want to be?
15:51And what do you want to do as far as identifying your why, why you are doing these, or why you
16:04want to be this person?
16:08Underestimating the difficulty of finding that is one reason a lot of people quit in January.
16:16I read some information research that said by the second week of January, Friday, it's
16:26like, no.
16:27And we just want to find a way to be a voice to help you have that stick-to-itiveness, finding
16:37your why and, you know, just creating that better life that you want for yourself.
16:44It's possible.
16:46Well, you said something earlier about, I don't know if you said motivation or something,
16:53but I was just thinking, have you heard of dry January?
16:57No, no.
16:59Well, it's the month, I believe it's January, where at the beginning of the year, it's a part
17:09of the resolution, and it's just in January, not to drink.
17:16So people who just maybe partied a lot, they'll go, January is the beginning of the year, dry
17:23January.
17:24And see, that's an example.
17:26People have a difficult time with dry January.
17:29Because they're doing it because it's the thing.
17:34It is the thing.
17:36What do you say?
17:37Doing it for people.
17:38You said doing it for someone else.
17:40Yeah.
17:41Yeah.
17:41I hear the most like, oh, yeah, me and my friends, I mean, it's on Instagram and stuff.
17:45We're getting together, and we're all going to do dry January.
17:48And then they go like, oh, my friend fell off.
17:50And yeah, I'm done.
17:53Yeah, yeah.
17:54I'm going to drink.
17:55Right, right, right.
17:57If you're not doing it because you don't really want to drink or you want to change
18:03behavior, it's sort of a group kind of thinking.
18:05It's a sort of popular kind of thing to do.
18:08People can post on Instagram.
18:11It's dry January and all that stuff.
18:14I mean, but it doesn't just circle back to, you know, you, your personal, why are you doing
18:24it personally?
18:25It all stems to that.
18:27And, you know, what is our topic?
18:30It says, what do you have to say about resolutions?
18:34And what I have to say about resolutions is they are your individual choice.
18:38Unless you identify them individually for you, what it says, unless you are able to identify
18:48what works for you, not what works for you, but what area you want to change or what area
18:56you want to, you know, you really, you want to focus on for you, not for your friends,
19:04but it is for you and it's personal.
19:09If you want to lift your personal effectiveness or your personal, it has to be, it has to come
19:15from here.
19:16It can't be external.
19:18See all of that Instagram and it's dry November and she's not drinking.
19:22So I'm not drinking.
19:23That's, that's external to me.
19:25That's not an internal desire or push or motivation.
19:34for you to do that.
19:36And when you were talking about, um, um, the, when we were just talking, I was thinking
19:43about and really what they are, or at least in my opinion, what they are, I think, you
19:50know, this is my thought.
19:52I think resolutions for most people are wishes and they're not what they really are, which
20:00they're, they are goals.
20:02They really should be goals.
20:04People have a wish to go to the gym every, every week all day and to lose this weight,
20:11to look this way, to start walking, to, I'm going to build a house.
20:15I'm going to do all of this stuff.
20:17These are wishes that you have, but actually resolutions are goals and goals are, you know,
20:25when you're trying to meet specific goals, I mean, I guess you can have different steps
20:29and they can be defined differently, but goals definitely, definitely are specific.
20:35They, there's something that you can measure, right?
20:40Yes.
20:40You want to be able to keep track of them.
20:43They also have to be something that you feel is achievable and not unrealistic because
20:49a lot of times the resolutions are unrealistic.
20:52They also need to be relevant to you.
20:55Mm-hmm.
20:56Mm-hmm.
20:56You were talking about internal, not external, right?
20:59Right.
21:00They also need to have some aspect of time.
21:06They need to be time related.
21:07There has to be time.
21:09Absolutely.
21:09We're going to go from January to March, not just this unknown amount of time.
21:16Right.
21:17In time.
21:19I want to see these measurable, measurable results by October.
21:26I mean, not October, by March or by spring.
21:29Because I want to, you know, for spring break, this is how I want it to happen.
21:35Absolutely.
21:36You're right.
21:37They, they do have to be measurable, achievable.
21:39And, um, you know, um, there's another word that you said.
21:43I can't remember.
21:44Relevant.
21:45Relevant.
21:46Relevant for you, you know, and attainable, achievable.
21:49And, um, we don't take, take, take into consideration what this takes work.
21:58It takes work.
21:59It takes work.
22:01That those different parts of those goals are from a pretty widely known thing called smart goals.
22:09Exactly.
22:09So, um, anytime anybody has a smart goal, this is what you want to plug in.
22:15Right, right.
22:15These things can help you.
22:17Yeah.
22:17Specific, measurable, actionable.
22:20Yes.
22:20Achievable.
22:21Yes, yes.
22:22Relevant and T is time.
22:26Time.
22:26Yes, yes, yes.
22:28You're exactly right.
22:29And we don't, um, no, because we want it, we want to, we have to have it right now.
22:40I did like two days worth of sit-ups.
22:43We're my six pack.
22:46I did, you know, some push-ups and some pull-ups for three days.
22:51What's up?
22:52You know, you made me laugh.
22:54You made me remember, there's, there's, I was watching a YouTube short or something
22:59like that and they were showing, it was this, uh, uh, plastic surgeon and he was talking
23:09about plastic surgery gone wrong or plastic surgeons that probably shouldn't have done
23:16the procedure or the patient and God bless his soul.
23:20Oh, there was this guy, he was, he was definitely overweight.
23:26Okay.
23:27And the plastic surgeon put fake abs on him.
23:41Oh, you got to see it.
23:45Oh, man.
23:47She shouldn't have done that.
23:48She got paid.
23:49She got paid.
23:50To put those silicone things underneath his skin over his big belly.
24:00She made some money.
24:02See, this is when we talk about these resolutions and the goals and people don't have time for
24:07that.
24:07That's a good example of that.
24:10Wow.
24:11And some people will just look at, I've got abs, but you also have fat, brother.
24:17Come on now.
24:20This is, I think we fool ourselves sometimes.
24:23We do.
24:24We do.
24:25We do.
24:26Yeah.
24:26We, we, we, we don't want to put in the work that it takes.
24:30And, you know, I was going to say for those of us that are, you know, are those people that
24:38have made that, that resolution to lose weight, where does it really start?
24:43It begins with your grocery cart.
24:46What?
24:47It goes, for some people, it goes a little bit further than that.
24:52It goes a little bit further.
24:54Because trust me, if it was just in the grocery cart, a whole lot of people would, or more
25:02people would look.
25:03More people.
25:04I think, I mean, if you just give them a starting, a starting point.
25:09You know, if you do not buy, and this is just personally, I stopped buying chips and Funyuns
25:18and Cheetos and all, oh my gosh, I, I, I stopped buying them.
25:25They're not in my house.
25:27And if I want cookies, I don't buy, you know, I make cookies.
25:34You're not, you're not, oh, you bake them.
25:36Okay.
25:36You bake them.
25:36I bake them.
25:37I bake them.
25:38So everything, even like yesterday, um, I wanted potato chips.
25:43So, but I, you know what I had, I had a potato.
25:45So I took, I skinned my potato and made potato chips and it was, they're the best, you know,
25:54instead of me buying that, you know, processed food, it starts there, uh, at least for me.
26:01And if I don't have something sweet, I'll, I'll get an apple and put some peanut butter
26:07on it.
26:07Um, just to get that out of that.
26:10But that took me a while.
26:12Cause I can't do that.
26:13Oh, it's, it's, it's, you will cook.
26:18I will cook the last thing that I would like to do.
26:22Okay.
26:23All right.
26:23The last thing.
26:24Yeah.
26:25So I wish that I could make my own potato chips and feel like that's fun to do.
26:30Oh, it is because it's yours.
26:32And I mean, and they're potatoes.
26:34And the only thing that is, it is a potato and a little sprinkle of salt.
26:39I know, you know, I, I'll watch you do it and I'll watch them do it on TV, but I don't
26:45want to do it, but it, it, it's just, it's for those that there's a way if you want to
26:53stick to your resolution, but it's, but you know what?
26:57It doesn't happen overnight.
26:58It's not instantaneous.
27:00It's, you grow to that, you know, and you, um, you, you just grow to that.
27:07So I wanted to talk a little bit, cause you, when, when you said, um, it's, you know, for
27:14those people and we're, we're talking about weight a lot and that, I don't mean to do that
27:18necessarily, but right, right, right, right, right.
27:21And it, it starts in the grocery cart and, you know, I sort of made light about it goes
27:27further than that, but for a lot of people when they want to do these resolutions and
27:32they haven't really looked, um, deeper about maybe some, where some of the origins come
27:40from, um, then they might be set up for failure because it's not going to be that easy for some
27:48people, because for some people, um, they're, all their family has sort of been big.
27:55This is sort of genetically how I am.
27:58Then there also could have been relationship that you're in now, maybe the way the relationship
28:05you were in the past, or maybe how you grew up, you know, uh, one of my favorite shows,
28:13I love, uh, Mama June and, uh, oh, darn it.
28:18Honey Boo Boo, Honey Bobo.
28:20I didn't watch that show, but as they got older, I, I like watching it and, but Mama June, how
28:30she makes food for them kids, no wonder they're big, but knowing her story, Mama June had some
28:39problems and her mama had some problems and food and alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, sex,
28:49all those things are stands or, are, are pacifiers.
28:54They're things that help us.
28:55Oh gosh.
28:56Oh, yes.
28:57Yes.
28:57Self, self.
28:59Medication.
29:00Medicate.
29:01Yes.
29:02Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:03Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:04Yes.
29:05Yes.
29:05Yes.
29:06Yes.
29:06Yes.
29:06Yes.
29:07Yes.
29:08Yes.
29:08Yes.
29:09Yes.
29:09Yes.
29:10Yes.
29:11Yes.
29:12Yes.
29:13Yes.
29:14Yes.
29:15Yes.
29:17Yes.
29:18Yes.
29:19Yes.
29:20Yes.
29:21Yes.
29:22And, and like you say, and I want you to continue on that thread, because, um, we do not consider
29:29the cost of, you know, before, when we were making resolutions or setting goals for ourself
29:35that, you know, the backstory, um, you know, and will they have support in that area and,
29:42and, and, you know, uh, because some people want you to stay the same. And if you try to
29:50step out that, you know, out that thing, and it's like, Ooh, what you trying to get fine
29:55for, you know? And I have, I have heard it. People said that to myself, you know, it's
30:00like, why are you at the gym? Why, you know, why? Because I, I, I, this, this is what I
30:09do. I, number one, this 58 right here. And you know, some people can't say that this,
30:16this, like, um, I'm, I'm moving my body because I'm moving, but like you say, there are, there
30:24are structures and systems in place that they may not have considered that are, uh, detrimental
30:32or not, um, not conducive to them wanting to make those resolutions work. And that is, you know,
30:40that's unfortunate that, that, that, but it is true. And maybe they just, hopefully they
30:49will find in themselves or, you know, to make those lasting decisions for themselves. Realistic,
30:58you know, and, um, I read, go ahead, go ahead. Well, as, as, as, uh, we're coming up on time
31:08here, I just, I want to, you know, we haven't yet done a smart goal. Yeah. For this podcast
31:16because we want it to be sustainable. We want all these kinds of things. So I'm sure we've
31:22talked about this before. We won't want to set a smart goal, but, uh, you know, um, as,
31:27as we're moving forward and, and any of those people who happen to tune in and happen to find
31:33us, you know, we hope that, you know, you might think differently about resolutions versus goals
31:42and, um, you know, do I have a wish for a change and, and, you know, what am I doing to actually
31:49try to change? You said, do I have support to change? Do I need support to change? All of those
31:56things. Right, right, right, right. Exactly. Exactly. That's your question. What do I have to say about
32:02resolutions? Um, I don't really like resolutions much, but I do like goals. Okay. Same. Uh,
32:10and what do I have to say about, uh, new year's resolutions? I would say, um, that make sure
32:18that if you are setting them, that they are, that they are specific, that, um, they are for you and
32:26it is for, it is a personal, it's an inside job. It's, it's in here. It is, it's not, it's something
32:33external and that you, um, celebrate even the small wins. Um, and if, if you are having some,
32:43uh, difficulty, um, uh, seek, seek out, um, find your community that, that, that is on the same path
32:52as you are, because, uh, everybody's not going to like it, but. In community, I like that, but some,
32:58some people that are going to see this, they don't have a community. Find a person. Find a person
33:04in that person. Exactly. Exactly. Find that person. But yeah, you can do it. You really can. And, uh,
33:11this has been really great. Uh, um, just try to integrate just a little bit of what we have said
33:18today. And, uh, hopefully, hopefully you'll be successful. You know, we'll move on and, and, um,
33:27and, oh, I just sort of lost, I think I lost all my mind.
33:36I guess when we move on, this is, I, I, I was thinking about a lot of things at the same time.
33:41This is our first episode. We are done with this. This is the weekend. At some point in time,
33:46we'll get to look back. Right. Listen to like, oh, wow. Wow. Right. Right. Exactly. But this is
33:54fun. This is, this is, that's it. Thank you. Thank you. I learned a lot. All right. Thanks.
34:02And I'll see you when I see you. I'll see you when I see you.
34:08What do you have to say? There's no time.
34:16That's like go time right now. Whatever.
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