- 6 weeks ago
In this episode of the "What Do You Have to Say?" podcast, your hosts Phil and Uriah open up about their personal journeys, sharing stories and insights about life skills and their professional adventures.
They discuss why curiosity, empathy, and collaboration are so important and share how their views on education and mental health have evolved over time.
The conversation also highlights how music has played a big role in their lives and the wisdom they've gained from previous generations, all while celebrating the value of hard work and perseverance.
It’s a warm and insightful discussion you won't want to miss!
Takeaways
Phil is an educator and musician, passionate about shaping young minds.
Uriah is a marriage and family therapist, emphasizing the importance of curiosity.
Both hosts value personal growth and the sharing of experiences.
Curiosity can help in understanding conflicts and fostering empathy.
Gardening and pottery are seen as valuable life skills to master.
The belief that success is not solely defined by formal education.
Music serves as a powerful theme in their lives and discussions.
Family wisdom plays a crucial role in shaping their perspectives.
Collaboration is preferred over compromise in relationships.
The podcast aims to create an interactive space for listeners.
Keywords
podcast, personal growth, philosophy, life skills, music, family wisdom, mental health, education, curiosity, collaboration
**Fair Use Statement for [What Do You Have To say?]:**
This podcast utilizes short excerpts of music and video clips for the purpose of critical commentary, review, and analysis, falling under the "fair use" doctrine as outlined in Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act. We consider the four factors of fair use in our production:
1. **Purpose and Character of Use:** Our use is transformative, adding new perspectives, insights, and discussion to the original material, primarily for non-profit educational and commentary purposes, even if monetized.
2. **Nature of the Copyrighted Work:** We may use excerpts from both factual and creative works, always aiming for a balanced and justifiable application of fair use principles.
3. **Amount and Substantiality:** We use only the necessary portions of copyrighted works to illustrate our points, avoiding the use of entire works or significant, "heart" portions where possible.
4. **Effect Upon Potential Market:** We believe our use does not negatively impact the market for or value of the original copyrighted works. Instead, our commentary may encourage further engagement with the original content.
All copyrighted material belongs to its respective owners.
They discuss why curiosity, empathy, and collaboration are so important and share how their views on education and mental health have evolved over time.
The conversation also highlights how music has played a big role in their lives and the wisdom they've gained from previous generations, all while celebrating the value of hard work and perseverance.
It’s a warm and insightful discussion you won't want to miss!
Takeaways
Phil is an educator and musician, passionate about shaping young minds.
Uriah is a marriage and family therapist, emphasizing the importance of curiosity.
Both hosts value personal growth and the sharing of experiences.
Curiosity can help in understanding conflicts and fostering empathy.
Gardening and pottery are seen as valuable life skills to master.
The belief that success is not solely defined by formal education.
Music serves as a powerful theme in their lives and discussions.
Family wisdom plays a crucial role in shaping their perspectives.
Collaboration is preferred over compromise in relationships.
The podcast aims to create an interactive space for listeners.
Keywords
podcast, personal growth, philosophy, life skills, music, family wisdom, mental health, education, curiosity, collaboration
**Fair Use Statement for [What Do You Have To say?]:**
This podcast utilizes short excerpts of music and video clips for the purpose of critical commentary, review, and analysis, falling under the "fair use" doctrine as outlined in Section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Act. We consider the four factors of fair use in our production:
1. **Purpose and Character of Use:** Our use is transformative, adding new perspectives, insights, and discussion to the original material, primarily for non-profit educational and commentary purposes, even if monetized.
2. **Nature of the Copyrighted Work:** We may use excerpts from both factual and creative works, always aiming for a balanced and justifiable application of fair use principles.
3. **Amount and Substantiality:** We use only the necessary portions of copyrighted works to illustrate our points, avoiding the use of entire works or significant, "heart" portions where possible.
4. **Effect Upon Potential Market:** We believe our use does not negatively impact the market for or value of the original copyrighted works. Instead, our commentary may encourage further engagement with the original content.
All copyrighted material belongs to its respective owners.
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00Welcome to the What Do You Have to Say podcast.
00:03I'm Uriah and he is...
00:08I don't know who you are. I don't know who you are.
00:13Welcome to the What Do You Have to Say podcast.
00:17I am Uriah and this is Phil.
00:21We are your host.
00:23Two cousins, two perspectives, and one mission.
00:28We'll have some fun, some lighthearted, and sometimes difficult conversations.
00:34Well, we'll dive into topics such as lifestyle, current events, and personal growth.
00:39We're talking about it all.
00:42So in today's episode, we're going to give you some insight into who we are
00:47by asking and answering some questions, maybe a lot.
00:52I don't know. We'll figure it out.
00:53Some questions.
00:54Some questions.
00:55Yes, yes. Wow. I'm excited. I'm excited about what we get to share with you.
01:02Me too.
01:02We want to know what do you have to say?
01:05Oh, what do you have to say?
01:07Oh, there's no time to wait.
01:11What do you have to say?
01:13Together we lift our voices and let them ring.
01:16Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:19Talking about life, we got stories to reveal.
01:22Welcome.
01:22I'm excited, Phil.
01:24I am too. I am too.
01:26We get to share a little bit about who we are and what drives us, really.
01:32So I'm excited to share that with our audience, with the people.
01:36Hey, good to see you here.
01:38Well, I think it would be really good if we just talk about who we are, where we've come
01:45from, just some things about us.
01:47I mean, we're going to answer some questions, too, which I think will fill in some of the
01:52other pieces.
01:53But do you want to go first?
01:55I will.
01:56I will.
01:57I definitely will.
01:58I'm Phil, and I am, right now, in my current role, I am an educator.
02:05I teach third grade.
02:08And I also, I have, this is going to be my eighth year teaching.
02:12So I'm really, really excited about this coming up school year.
02:16That's what I do, trying to shape and frame young minds and increase them in their academic
02:24learning, in their personal development, in their social development.
02:28And that's what I do.
02:31I also am a musician.
02:33And so I compose music.
02:35I write music.
02:36I sing music.
02:37I compose.
02:39I have recorded quite a few albums or CDs, records, and I still write and play.
02:51I play for two churches now.
02:53I still do that.
02:55And it's a lot of things that make up who I am, but music and education, as well as some
03:03other hobbies that I have.
03:05I love to read, love to learn, and love to laugh and eat some good food.
03:12That's it.
03:13Cook, too.
03:14Cook, too.
03:14What about you, man?
03:18Who am I?
03:19Well, currently.
03:20Currently.
03:21No.
03:23Well, I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.
03:28I practice in California, in Kansas, and in Texas.
03:32Keeps me on my toes.
03:34Oh, man.
03:35That sounds awesome.
03:35And I enjoy it.
03:39Yeah.
03:40Yeah.
03:40I enjoy working with clients.
03:42It can be difficult sometimes, but it's also very rewarding.
03:47Wow.
03:49We'll probably talk about this later, but there is a point in common we have.
03:52I'm a musician also.
03:54I'm a singer.
03:56I haven't been doing that recently, but I wanted to change that around.
04:01Yes.
04:02Yes.
04:03I also...
04:04It's been hard for me to sort of give myself that title, but I consider myself a photographer.
04:11So some of the things that you'll see in the background, not the whiz poster, but that little thing, you can't see all of it behind the blue stoplight, are some of my work.
04:25And I've got a lot more of that when I'm feeling a little bit more vulnerable and bold, I will present in a different way.
04:32Wow.
04:33Yeah.
04:34That's great.
04:35That is great.
04:36And maybe I didn't hear something about a prolific singer.
04:40I didn't hear that.
04:41I heard about a musician, but I didn't hear...
04:44Maybe I'm a singer.
04:45Okay.
04:45Okay.
04:46All right.
04:46Maybe I should have said a singer.
04:48There you go.
04:48And you should have.
04:51Yes.
04:52Yes.
04:53That's good.
04:54That was good.
04:55Well, you know, hopefully that's a good start on sort of helping people get a jumpstart on who these two people are that are asking them to watch us.
05:08To watch us.
05:09Right.
05:10To like and describe.
05:12Hold on.
05:12Describe?
05:13Describe.
05:13Like and subscribe.
05:17Okay.
05:18There it is.
05:18He's a comedian as well.
05:21Oh, no.
05:22Oh, no.
05:22Oh, well, maybe we can.
05:30We thought that a good way to help you understand a little bit more about us, you know, until we have more people that are watching that might be interested who would give us questions.
05:41Right.
05:42We created some questions that we thought might be helpful for you understanding who we are.
05:47And so I think that's what we're going to do right now.
05:51That's what we're going to do right now.
05:53Let's do it.
05:54Shall we get into question one?
05:55Question one.
05:57Question one.
05:58Let's see what's up.
06:01What's one personal philosophy or belief that profoundly influences how you view the world and approach new questions?
06:09Wow.
06:10That is a great one.
06:11Do you want me to go first?
06:13Please.
06:14All right.
06:15I'm not ready.
06:15You're not ready.
06:17Okay.
06:18Well, in all honesty, one personal philosophy or belief that profoundly influences me.
06:26I am, I am a man of God.
06:30I believe that my faith, faith in God, it influences how I view the world and how I approach new questions.
06:39But not only that, I have been a lover of philosophy since probably 10th or 11th grade in high school.
06:51Machiavelli and the prince and all of those philosophers really intrigued me.
06:55And I also ascribe to stoicism.
07:00I don't know if you're familiar with that as well, but stoicism is a Greek philosophy and it has four main principles that I really, that resonate with me.
07:11And the first one is virtue and it's just, they call it the true good and it is wisdom and justice and, um, courage.
07:22And, uh, another vert, another principle is acceptance and control.
07:28We can only control the things, um, uh, we can only control our thoughts and our actions.
07:35And, um, you know, a lot of times we want to try to, um, handle external things, but if I can control myself and just the things that are assigned to me, you know, I'm a better person.
07:50So that influences how, um, I approach the world and its questions.
07:55And number three is living in accordance to nature.
07:59I, um, nature has an order.
08:02And, um, when we are out of order, if nature is, has that homeostasis effect going on, then we are in alignment with that.
08:13And, um, the last one is focus on the present.
08:16And this principle is, is kind of hard or a challenge at times because we are human.
08:23We have memories and sometimes our past can get in the way of our presence.
08:29But if we, um, just focus, I used to have a mentor that told me, uh, be where your feet are.
08:37And that just meant be in the present and in the now, in the now, but in O W.
08:44And, um, so, um, stoicism and then those tenants are sometimes, some of them are aligned with, um, what I read in the scriptures of, you know, the true good for whatever is right.
08:58Whatever is pure, whatever is the whole, what is lovely, whatever is, um, um, right now focus on those things.
09:06And so, um, respecting nature and all of that, that influences how I view the world.
09:13Okay.
09:14I tried to keep it short.
09:15Sorry.
09:18You know, you said something cause you, when you were mentioning stoicism, you mentioned a couple of things in it that resounded with me because it's things that I talk about in therapy with clients.
09:29And that is control, um, your circle of control.
09:34And I think when you, when you talk to people about what they actually have control over, it's not much, it's not much.
09:45And if we just concern ourself with that, we might not like the things that are happening around us, but we're going to be happier that we have some influence over something of some things, but the influence that we have is how we control ourself and what we do.
10:04And what we do.
10:05And I mean, you said that that, that was not much, but that's enough.
10:11And a lot of people are unable to really reign that in.
10:16And so I think just controlling our thoughts and our actions, that's a tall order to fill.
10:24It truly is.
10:25I just believe if we're trying to, uh, we'll just say it's mind your business, mind your business, you know, and even scripturally it says tend to your own garden, you know, that's enough.
10:37That is enough.
10:38But anyway, yes.
10:38Yes.
10:39Um, hold on.
10:43I lost the, the question.
10:45Hold on.
10:46Let me put this up really quick.
10:48So one, one personal philosophy or belief that I think profoundly influences how I view the world and approach new questions is being curious or curiosity.
11:01I like that.
11:02I think I've always been curious from a little boy.
11:08And then as you get a little bit older, I think some of my curiosity was more nosiness, right?
11:15What's going on over there?
11:17Who are they?
11:17What's happening?
11:18Who's doing what?
11:18Right.
11:19Which isn't necessarily beneficial and I'm not putting it down because, you know, sometimes we're nosy and that's okay.
11:27As long as it's not harming somebody or you get into somebody else's business, do I, or at all.
11:34Right.
11:34But curiosity, what I've come to understand about it, curiosity can be very helpful when there's conflict.
11:43Oh, okay.
11:44Mm-hmm.
11:45How so?
11:47If you're involved in a conflict, how can curiosity play its role?
11:54Because sometimes when, if there is conflict, let's just you and I, if you and I are having a conflict and a lot of people don't understand the word conflict, when you just use that word, we think something big like World War III, right?
12:11Yes.
12:11Conflict is any time that there's some discord, right?
12:15Okay.
12:15And that can look a lot of different ways.
12:17Mm-hmm.
12:17But if there's conflict and I go, hmm, I think to myself or I even ask, Phil, what's going on?
12:29I'm, and actually use the word, I'm curious.
12:31I mean, I'm not.
12:32And that's curiosity.
12:32I don't quite understand.
12:34Okay.
12:34It's curiosity.
12:35Okay.
12:35Curiosity helps us be empathetic too.
12:38Oh.
12:39Because, yeah, because if we can be curious, they're acting a fool.
12:45What's going on?
12:46Uh-huh.
12:47Uh-huh.
12:47Instead of saying, oh, you're acting a fool.
12:49What's going on?
12:50Uh-huh.
12:50Uh-huh.
12:51And just, yes, I got it.
12:52Mm-hmm.
12:53Curiosity can help.
12:54Okay.
12:55That.
12:55It doesn't mean that the other person is just all of a sudden going to like open up and you're going to have this beautiful conversation.
13:02But on your side, you, curiosity helps you stay out of the problem.
13:09Okay.
13:09A little bit.
13:10It also, oh, I'm forgetting this one piece of it.
13:16It'll come back.
13:17But curiosity.
13:18Okay.
13:18Helps us with having empathy in certain situations and understanding.
13:27The one thing that I always think about when I talk about curiosity, it was 10 years ago or so, I went into a McDonald's and there was a young woman, probably no more than 25, and she was going off.
13:44They put mustard or ketchup.
13:48They did something, but she had the audience of the whole McDonald's.
13:52Mm-hmm.
13:52Mm-hmm.
13:53And I can remember back then, I was annoyed with this person.
13:58I was like, they're so stupid and this and that.
14:02Flash forward to now, when I see that happening, I know something's going on.
14:08It's something is.
14:08So my curiosity keeps me from being fully judgmental.
14:13Mm-hmm.
14:13And I can go like, oh, I know something's probably going on with that person, instead of attributing certain things to them.
14:23Right.
14:24Right.
14:24Yeah.
14:25This is a great example.
14:26That helped me.
14:27Right.
14:28You're welcome.
14:29Right.
14:29Right.
14:30Oh, we're getting into it.
14:31Yes.
14:31That's not quick, but that was interesting, right?
14:34It was.
14:34It was.
14:35Yes.
14:35Shall we look at two?
14:37Yes.
14:38Question two.
14:39Yes.
14:39Beyond your professional achievements, what's one life skill you've mastered or striving to master that you believe everybody should learn?
14:50Beyond matriculating through college courses.
15:00Is what is one life skill I'm striving to master?
15:05And I wrote down two.
15:07Okay.
15:07And I just think that, and these might be life skills.
15:11I think they're life skills to me.
15:13One of them is gardening.
15:15And I just started really full-fledged gardening.
15:20And I think that everyone should take time to grow something.
15:25I know you didn't have told me that many times.
15:27Maybe take some time and just grow something.
15:30You know, because the benefits from gardening is not only a physical benefit, but the environmental benefits of gardening, the mental benefits, the less stress.
15:45You're working with the earth, and that leads me back to stoicism with the living in accordance with nature and growing your own food.
15:58And you don't have to necessarily grow your own food, but flowers.
16:03And I brought in, if you can look in the back, there are some zinnias that came from my own pollinator garden that are on my shelf back there that I grew myself.
16:15And it is just a sense of accomplishment that gardening, I think everyone should garden, grow something.
16:25It's just building a sense of community.
16:27I have met so many gardeners, you know, that have gone through the same struggles that we, and we share strategies and techniques and how to, how to really produce the best crop available.
16:41So gardening, a life skill that I'm trying to master, I believe everyone should have.
16:45And pottery.
16:47I have.
16:48Oh, yeah.
16:48I think pottery, it connects me to the earth.
16:52There's that stoicism again, because, and it connects us in a tactile way.
16:59When I'm throwing a wheel, a mound of clay on the wheel, I mean, it's in my hands.
17:07And it has this spiritual component to it too, man.
17:10And I cannot explain it how, um, every time I just visualize the, the creator, uh, and we're on his pottery wheel.
17:20And he's trying to shape us in this, this, what, this way.
17:25And, um, we are not always compliant.
17:28And let me tell you that clay is not always compliant, but those are two things.
17:34I really believe that, you know, um, every, I'm trying to master and I, I'm, I'm hoping that there's some other potters and some gardeners out there that are in the struggle too, but, uh, trying to master those skills.
17:48But that's, that's, that's, that's me.
17:51That's me.
17:52That's you.
17:52Yeah.
17:53Well, I know coming up, we're going to talk about gardening.
17:56Gardening is probably going to be some of the things that we've got something to say about.
18:01Oh, yes, sir.
18:02Yes, sir.
18:02I have a lot.
18:03You know, we, I could talk about gardening and homestead and sustainable living, uh, for a while, but, ooh, let's see.
18:12You ready to go.
18:14Exactly.
18:15Well, beyond professional achievements, what skill, I'm going to say, striving to master.
18:25Striving to, okay.
18:27Yeah.
18:27Okay.
18:28That I believe everybody should learn.
18:30And when we came up with this question, the first thing that popped into my mind was, um, there was an interview and I can't find it.
18:42I didn't save it.
18:43Um, this has been some years, so everything's from memory.
18:46So please forgive me if I don't say it exactly, but I believe it was Brown, Mark, uh, Prince's bass player at the time.
18:54Um, or guitar player.
18:57Prince was notorious for his rehearsals.
19:00He would rehearse them again and again and again and again.
19:03Right.
19:04And his musicians, he picked musicians who were top notch.
19:12Yes.
19:12Right.
19:12Yes.
19:13You had to play if you worked for Prince.
19:15Mm-hmm.
19:16Mm-hmm.
19:16You had to be able to play.
19:17Yes.
19:17And so, um, if they made a mistake, some of them would be hard on themselves and you would think so because he's hard on them.
19:26And he, he, he told them something, be like water.
19:29Now, for some people, I think they associate be like water to Bruce Lee.
19:35I don't, I think it's a very similar, uh, sentiment.
19:39I don't know much about that.
19:41Okay.
19:41I came to this notion, um, actually from a couple of people.
19:45One was Joyce Meyer.
19:47Okay.
19:48And the other was Prince.
19:49Same situation, but be like water is just like going with the flow.
19:54Just.
19:55If stuff happens and it will, if you're practicing and you can't get that riff, just allow yourself to just be like water.
20:07Because water travels in the path of least resistance.
20:11So it will go around the obstacle and find a new way to do it.
20:16So it's like opening up your mind to figure out, okay, well, that didn't work.
20:22Right.
20:23Okay.
20:23Um, it looks like this is the way to go.
20:26Right.
20:26We'll try it.
20:28Right.
20:28That is what I'm, I'm trying.
20:31I'm striving to be more like water.
20:34Wow.
20:35Go with the flow a little bit more.
20:37Mm-hmm.
20:38Mm-hmm.
20:38And what I have found in those times when I do, I'm less anxious and I'm less stressed.
20:44Wow.
20:45That's beautiful.
20:46That is beautiful.
20:48That's good.
20:49That is good.
20:51Be like, actually, I, I, I created a, a big old sign about this sign, the whiz that says be like water to remind me.
21:01So I switch it out every.
21:02Oh, man.
21:03That's beautiful.
21:04So often.
21:04That's beautiful.
21:06Wow.
21:06All right.
21:08Next question.
21:09Yes.
21:11And why don't you read this one?
21:12Okay.
21:15Question three.
21:16What unique talents or insights or insight do you bring to a discussion?
21:23What would it be and how has it helped you navigate life or your career?
21:33Hmm.
21:35Hmm.
21:35I'm anxious to hear that.
21:37Go.
21:39I got to go.
21:40Yes.
21:41I read.
21:41I just went.
21:43I read.
21:44You go.
21:45Yeah.
21:47Okay.
21:48Okay.
21:48So the unique talent or insight I, I feel or think that I bring to a discussion.
21:57I think I'm a good listener.
21:59I think I've always been a good listener.
22:05Um, I think sometimes I might've listened too much and not spoke enough.
22:12Okay.
22:12Right.
22:13Okay.
22:13Yes.
22:14Yes.
22:14Yes.
22:15Yes.
22:15But I think that I'm a good listener.
22:19If you are, if you have told me something and we're, we're not just in a trite conversation.
22:24Good morning.
22:24How are you doing?
22:25This, this, this.
22:26Um, um, if we're talking about something that's meaningful to you, I'm probably going to remember
22:32it.
22:33And I'm probably going to be curious about some of the things that you said.
22:39Like I, we haven't, um, we haven't had this discussion yet, but I'm sure we're going to have
22:48something to say about pottery.
22:51And I'm quite curious about you and pottery.
22:55I've got a lot of questions to ask you about it.
22:58Um, and you know, we'll, we have, and we will talk about gardening.
23:04I, uh, I like asking you questions about, um, and I've heard that the things that you've
23:11said about gardening, I remember potting plants and the bags that you can put soil in and stuff
23:15like that.
23:16Cause when you were, when you were telling me I was listening and not just because it's
23:21probably going to be an episode in a podcast, but I, I was listening and curious.
23:30And I also could hear how much you loved it and how much joy you got from it.
23:37So I think I'm a good listener and how does it help me navigate in my life or career?
23:45Well, I think as a therapist, you have to be a good listener.
23:50And I'll tell you when I was in training, I used to take all these notes, all these notes,
23:55um, people, people are telling me I'm sitting here.
23:57Okay.
23:59Just writing, writing, writing.
24:01And my supervisor, I really have appreciated her.
24:06I, I got to be in her supervision group for all of my time in training.
24:10And then I got hired by her in her department.
24:14Um, one of these, one of the times they go, well, somebody asked me why I was writing so
24:20much.
24:21And I go, well, I don't want to forget anything.
24:22And they go, you forget something, right?
24:25You remember things that we talked about months ago.
24:28Yes.
24:29And when I trusted myself that I was a good listener and put my pad down, I was more effective
24:39for in the room with a client.
24:42So good listener.
24:43Good listener.
24:44And I, I wrote that down as well, that I not only, I not only, not only, um, hear, but
24:55listen and being able to assess what I, and, um, not dissect, but not dissect, but be able
25:06to understand what I'm hearing, even in between the spaces or in between the lines, what I've
25:14heard.
25:14And, um, I believe that I bring, it says, let me see, what do you, do I bring to the discussion?
25:21Um, I bring collaboration, um, being able, and I say collaboration because as an educator,
25:30I have to collaborate with team members and other teachers that, you know, I don't have
25:37all the answers and I don't have all of the strategies and the things that I would need
25:43to reach all of my students, but just being able to collaborate with, um, my other, my
25:50other cohorts and to come up with solutions and effectiveness for my, uh, for my students
25:57is, um, is, um, is, uh, really a skill and, uh, and what I bring to the table and, um, not
26:04only, not only listener and, um, being able to be a collaborator, but bringing, having that
26:12emotional intelligence to be able to like read the room and be able to tell what is, um,
26:22does this situation call for empathy?
26:24Does it call for, um, correction?
26:27Does it call what being able to bring that, um, and even able to ask more questions and
26:35be, um, questions that are effective and targeted to reach whatever the desired result that, that
26:43our conversation is in.
26:44So, um, I, I like what you said, but I, um, listening, uh, listener and how, I think I
26:52did say, how has it helped you navigate your life or career?
26:55Just collaborating and listening with my, with, um, with other educators that are, um, striving
27:03to do the best.
27:03Well, I love, you said collaboration.
27:06Yes.
27:06Philip, that is, that is, that is key in any sort of relationship at work, your career.
27:12That's a place where I think some people struggle, right?
27:17Wow.
27:17Yes, I do.
27:18And I, I remember growing up watching Sesame Street and they taught us about compromise a
27:26lot.
27:28Compromise, you know, compromise, if you can think about it this way, compromise is like
27:32you're at a negotiation table for whatever the negotiation is and you're walking away
27:39going like, I gave up something.
27:40That is not what I want.
27:42Right.
27:42I gave up something.
27:43That's the first, when you just said that word and I'm like, Oh no, not good.
27:48Cause now sometimes we have to in relationships with people, we're going to walk away.
27:53Right.
27:54And we're like, that did not feel good, but whatever.
27:58But collaboration is the word that I would love to supplant in my brain instead of compromise
28:06because collaboration means the two of us came together.
28:09Right.
28:10And I'm going to not get something.
28:13You're not going to get something.
28:14We're both going to agree that this is working for us.
28:18Right.
28:19Right.
28:19For the better good.
28:20And I like that.
28:21Yes.
28:21For the better good.
28:22Great job.
28:22So I hope we, I hope we're doing some good collaboration.
28:24I'm sure they'll let us know.
28:29Yeah.
28:30Okay.
28:31Right.
28:31Right.
28:32Okay.
28:33Let's do you want me to read question?
28:35This should be four.
28:37I believe it's question four.
28:39No, I read.
28:39Cause if you read, that means I got to go first.
28:44I'm not getting that.
28:46Collaboration.
28:48Compromise.
28:48Okay.
28:49All right.
28:50No.
28:50All right.
28:51I'm good with it.
28:52So what's a belief that you once had a firm opinion on, but through experience or learning,
29:01your view has significantly changed or evolved.
29:07Okay.
29:09I kind of struggled with this for a little bit because as I have become older, you know,
29:17some things have, have changed in my thinking, but I wanted to, I think I narrowed it down
29:24to college that I used to believe that college was the only way or the only viable way to success.
29:35And I, if I worked hard, if I put forth the effort, if I earned that college degree,
29:44things were just going to be laid out in front of me, you know, for success.
29:51But as I grow older or have become just more aware that college is not the only, only way to success.
30:01And I wrote down, I wrote this down that says, um, success is about networking and interpersonal
30:09skills.
30:10And you can do that being a plumber being, um, you, you can do that being a graphic artist.
30:20You, and, and necessarily you may need those skills from, um, an advanced degree or best training,
30:29but college, I think we get sold something that college is the only way to go.
30:36And that my belief, it says what belief I was firm on, but through experience and learning,
30:42it's evolved that that is not the only way.
30:45And that's, uh, just in a nutshell, just college.
30:49It's the return on investment nowadays.
30:52And I have a master's degree in, um, I have a bachelor's degree in psychology, master's in
30:58counseling, human development, and my master's in education and my instructional certificate.
31:07And it's, it's just not a guarantee.
31:12And the return on investment.
31:14And do you know that there is a degree that I, I mean, there is a job I want to apply for,
31:20but they want me to get this boutique degree for another 33 hours.
31:25And I was, you know, so college is not only the road, it's not the only way to be successful.
31:33I'm glad, I'm glad that you said that, um, some years ago, I had a con this is while ago,
31:43I had a conversation with a, um, a high school classmate and we were just talking and they
31:50found out after high school that they had severe dyslexia and some other things that
31:57really made it difficult and they weren't prosperous when it came to going to a community
32:03college.
32:03I mean, it just wasn't for them, but I think our culture tells us this is the path and it
32:10is not the way for everybody.
32:13Right.
32:13Right.
32:14Right.
32:14There are going to be well-adjusted.
32:17People are extremely happy that go into trades or do something else.
32:21As a matter of fact, some of the trades are probably the best.
32:26What you say, man, right now in this economy, right now, everybody needs air conditioner
32:32and I'm not talking just house air conditioner.
32:35I'm talking commercial size air conditioners, you know?
32:39So yeah.
32:40Yes.
32:41Big ones.
32:41Yeah.
32:42For retail, but yeah, go ahead, man.
32:44I don't even know what you're doing.
32:45So you didn't, you didn't have enough conversation.
32:50You got something to say.
32:51Um, what's a belief that I had a firm opinion on, but through some experience or some learning,
32:59um, my view changed and I'm, it's the role of medication and medic being medicated.
33:09And I say that because in cultures of color, and I'll speak generally just for what I know
33:18about black culture, you know, that's been a difficult role, you know, black folks, the
33:25Tuskegee experiment.
33:28And we're treated well with medication.
33:31Right.
33:32Oh man.
33:32And you know, you've probably experienced this.
33:36I know that I have with like older, uh, relatives who just take medication.
33:42Right.
33:42They just, the doctor will give them a pill.
33:45And the next thing you know, they have 20 pills, this pill, then, then you have some side
33:50effects that they give you this pill.
33:52And they just continue to take them.
33:55Right.
33:55I, uh, my mom did this with my, our grandmother.
33:59Um, she was sort of fainting and I said, mother, what is granny taking?
34:05And so she went through her medications and some of the medications, um, were contraindicated
34:12with each other.
34:13They shouldn't have been taken together.
34:15Right.
34:15Right.
34:16So anyhow, my, when it comes to medication and then being in the mental health field, I
34:23just had a problem with giving people medication for anxiety and depression and Adderall and all
34:30these things, you know?
34:31And one day I had a client, African-American client, um, young, in their mid to late twenties
34:42and, um, talk therapy wasn't working.
34:47And so when I'd have my consultation, my, uh, my supervisor said, Oh, did you refer him
34:54to the psychiatrist?
34:56And I said, Oh no, I didn't do that.
34:58In the back of my mind, I was like, I'm listening to him to no psychiatrist.
35:01Right.
35:02Right.
35:02Right.
35:03I'm like sending, uh, a person of color to, to the doctor just so they can get some medication.
35:09So I kept talking and, uh, uh, continue to seeing the client had supervision again.
35:16And she mentioned, did you, I said, no, I hadn't done that.
35:20And she asked me why I can't remember exactly what was said, but I put in the referral.
35:24They saw the psychiatrist, they were diagnosed appropriately and medication, help the client.
35:34And I had to rethink, um, there is a responsible way, I guess.
35:43Um, and that means checking with your client, how are you feeling?
35:47Is this working for you?
35:49And then also checking your progress.
35:51And when that client started making progress, I said, Oh, um, maybe I need to refer this other
35:58client.
35:59Right.
36:00I had to start thinking now today, um, I don't have a, an issue.
36:06I'm usually doing a lot of psychoeducation with clients to talk to them about, uh, medication.
36:12And I also let them know my, my experience, just like right now, the way I thought.
36:17Uh, so generally speaking, the, the medication in general, taking too much or, um, its role
36:26in mental health.
36:28Right.
36:29Wow.
36:29Thank you for, for bringing that up because, um, I have, you know, and I know that we have
36:37some other questions, but it's like, um, I work with children that are medicated and some
36:45of them, um, benefit from it.
36:48And then some of them, their doses are not right.
36:53And they're, they're lethargic, you know, it's just a whole plethora of things.
36:58So when you say, and then we're not even going to get into blacks, um, and experiments
37:05and, um, how that's a whole, oh man.
37:11Yeah.
37:12Another episode.
37:13It is.
37:13Two, three, four.
37:14It really is with blacks and medication and how we are, we're not to feel pain and, you
37:19know, pregnant women and, um, all of those.
37:23Yeah.
37:23That's a whole nother thing, but yeah.
37:24Thanks, man.
37:25We, I'm, I'll write that down meds.
37:28And this is an example of some of the things that we're going to have to say.
37:32Yeah.
37:32Right.
37:33Right.
37:33Right.
37:34So if, you know, hopefully you're getting the sort of vibe of who we are and if you like
37:39it, please like, and subscribe, click like, you know, you've heard all those things.
37:43Exactly.
37:44But all of them, from what I'm understanding, helps this podcast grow.
37:49And we, we need some assistance.
37:52Yes.
37:53That's great, man.
37:55So question number five.
37:56Number five.
37:57What you got?
37:58For the five.
37:59Okay.
38:01Uh, you want me to read this time?
38:05I'll read.
38:06You're going to go for it again.
38:07If your life had a theme song right now, right now, what would it be?
38:18And how does it reflect your current approach to new challenges or just ideas or how does
38:25it reflect you?
38:26Period.
38:28Okay.
38:28So if I had a theme song, it would be two theme songs.
38:32And the first one, uh, would be Marvin Sapp, Never Would Have Made It.
38:38And why would I choose that right now?
38:41Because, um, just through my lived experience and my life, the challenges from, uh, some economic
38:53challenges, emotional challenges, health, um, issues.
38:58I just never would have made it, um, without the hand of God in my life.
39:05And, um, I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm better, much better, you know?
39:14And when I look back over my life, uh, I know that it was his head that was just sustaining
39:22me through all the loss, the gains, you know, the in-betweens, the hills, the valleys, the
39:28sideways that life can put us in.
39:31And, um, I know it's some, someone out there that knows that just never would have made
39:37it.
39:37And that's, that's my song right now, right now.
39:41Um, in this, in this moment, in this moment, yes, yes.
39:46So here's an example.
39:47We get, we'll play a little short snippet of the song.
39:51I'm going to have to wave my hand because this hand raises and hallelujahs on this one
39:56right here.
39:56Never would have made it, never, never, never could have made it without you.
40:09I would have lost it all.
40:11Everything.
40:12All of it.
40:13Everything.
40:13Everything.
40:14But now I see how you were there for me and I can say.
40:21Say what?
40:22Never would have made it.
40:28Never could have made it.
40:30And I know.
40:32Yes.
40:33Yes.
40:33That's some life.
40:34Be lifing right there.
40:35And then.
40:35Yeah.
40:36Yep.
40:36Yeah.
40:37Never, never.
40:38All right.
40:39See, you got me stirred up, man.
40:41Cause that is.
40:44Ain't that what's going to happen when we have these conversations?
40:47That's it.
40:48Just got stirred up.
40:50I tell you.
40:50And my other song that I have is Bob Marley, Three Little Birds.
40:58Don't worry about a thing.
41:02Cause every little thing is going to be all right.
41:04Yes.
41:08Here's the message.
41:09Don't worry.
41:11Don't worry.
41:13Every little thing.
41:14Every little thing.
41:16Cause every little thing.
41:17It's going to be all right.
41:18It's going to be all right.
41:19Yes, sir.
41:20Yes, sir.
41:21Yes, sir.
41:22I don't care what it looks like.
41:24Don't worry.
41:25Cause every little thing.
41:29Cause every little thing.
41:30It's going to be.
41:31It's going to be all right.
41:32Yes, sir.
41:33Yes, sir.
41:35Rise up this morning.
41:36Wow.
41:37Rise up this morning.
41:38Yes.
41:38It's going to be all right.
41:39everything everything that's that's my theme song right now now i'm ready to go yes sir yes sir
41:46those are mine i think what about you i want to hear what yours are okay well i'm having some
41:55inspiration i think as we go down this path we should bring up these songs that are important
42:02to us in different times i mean we can do a whole episode of songs and why they're meaningful
42:10because music is powerful and it is the fabric of our life absolutely absolutely okay at every turn
42:18yes well i've i have two songs too and the first one that i have is uh from a group called sounds
42:27of blackness and the reason why i love the song is the title of the song optimistic oh man that's a
42:37good one yes a good one and when that song came out in the 90s it's going through a lot yeah and
42:47this is a gospel choir that was produced by jimmy jim and terry lewis and the song just speaks
42:55to me uh about keeping your head up to the sky to god being optimistic and just keep moving forward
43:06don't look back don't look back so sounds of blackness optimistic
43:16keeping your head up to the sky
43:24no you don't have to stumble and fall
43:42keep pushing on and don't you and you don't have to stumble you don't have to stumble
43:55and fall yes yes sometimes we don't feel like there is another way oh and if we do stumble
44:01and fall we lay down there for a little bit get up don't look back right and you just keep moving
44:08forward i think sometimes we we do look back and you know biblically when you look back oh
44:15lots wife that was the end of her right right right because she was told don't look back right
44:21right because we want to move on from those things right yeah so this is a powerful song powerful
44:28it is you don't know how many times since we've done this that i've listened to that song in a row
44:32like it'll just go on loop it'll just go on loop yeah and then i'll yeah i'll put it down for you
44:37all right i feel you i feel you that's a good one the next song is by my all-time
44:44favorite artist don't from his my favorite album of his okay one that i know knew every word
44:55i knew the sequencing of the albums um it's stevie wonder oh and love is in need of love today so
45:06the reason why i picked it is come on what's happening in the world we need love we need some
45:12love is in need of love today for sure of love today yes man that's powerful powerful yes
45:20love is in need of love today i love the backgrounds how they come in like that don't delay don't delay
45:36yeah yeah it's going around and it's been going around it's been going around breaking many hearts
45:48many hearts i see even a lot of people yes stevie wonder said stop it please
45:55too far too far and yeah wow that's a good one man that's a good one yeah loves in need um
46:07i we should have put this at the end we should have put the end i'm just like i'm just like i'm
46:13wiped out i don't want to ask no answer no more questions i don't i mean it's like wow that is um
46:19yeah yeah soundtracks well well let let's take a cue okay you know how we're feeling let's answer
46:29one last question okay i know we have several more that we had planned but let's just do
46:33one last one sounds good to me and i think
46:39let's look at this one oh that's a good that's good that's good me you want to read i will or who
46:56went first you you read you read all right all right it says thinking back on our family
47:04and uh your family or of origin what is a piece of wisdom or unique perspective passed down through
47:12generations that you apply even in your career
47:17i think i don't know if it's a unique perspective it may be to some of the current generation right
47:28um but the one thing i learned is work ethic gotcha and i you know i remember my grandfather
47:40he would say to this day i remember it and i follow him he said uh boy when you got to get uh
47:49you got to get to the mechanic you better be the first one at the door
47:52first one at the door and sometimes you don't want to get up but every time i wasn't at the door
48:00when they opened up then it took all day or i had to wait a long time so get be the first one that that
48:08doesn't really have to do with work ethic or maybe it does a little bit but we worked hard in the family
48:14um papa worked at a packing plant and granny worked at a state hospital and those jobs weren't
48:22easy and we were just shown that you got to put some work into some stuff you got
48:30right yes you you do and that's good like starting my own business and ain't nobody else here but me
48:37i gotta work if i don't do it it's not gonna get done yeah and one story that i have about work
48:44is i'll never forget and you're involved in this one okay um it was when you were staying
48:49it was in community college that first year or second year you were staying with us and i had
48:55come back from ku for the summer and i got a job at the factory called got but now it's rubbermaid
49:05in winfield lord have mercy and those were 12-hour shifts no air conditioning in a rubber
49:13in a rubber uh plant it was hot and one day i woke up and i was like i'm not going to work
49:21and my mom was like what yeah you are and i said um no i'm not i was 19 no i'm not going to work today
49:30no she said yeah she went back and forth trying to say you're going to work no so she said okay if
49:37you're not going to work well you're going to get out of this bed and not only did she make me get
49:42out of bed she made you get out of bed and we had to clean out the garage oh man and we had to go to
49:50the dump and when we finished that we still had some work to do around the house wow i don't know if
49:57you remember that but i do that is that whole thing about work ethic right right wow that's a
50:04great story man that is uh my hand started hurting when you started talking about uh gots because
50:13making those coolers and putting those grommets is this little round piece of rubber that you had
50:21to put in there to seal where you put the spigot in that i never
50:28lord have mercy but you know what if push comes to shove i can do that but lord have mercy no
50:38i'll share something i think i haven't told many people i think i told my mom
50:43and i told our cousin uh i watched them because i forget what line i was on what was dropping but
50:52it would not stop and i thought like it's too fast and so it broke down one time so i watched the tech
51:00what he was doing how he controlled it no i'm telling you and as soon as they left i slowed that line down
51:09it was man that was some kind of work that was some kind of work i mean you know but it just thinks
51:20makes me think makes me think about um papa and those that came along with him and how hard
51:29you know that they worked and i did a few hours at the packing plant it was still open really yeah
51:37and um i worked on the ham floor and uh putting hams and i smelled like hams for days it was just in
51:48your skin and you know i didn't work on they had the keel floor and all of that i guess you know i
51:54didn't work on that floor but it was that was some work man and uh yeah it did teach work ethic and that
52:05it taught me that i didn't want to do that um but it also teaches respect it does right it relative
52:13to what to what we're both doing now we don't have to do that right right but it's it's what god you
52:20know what many them and many others had to do many many others many others those access and
52:30opportunities that were that were not available to them that this is what that they had to do
52:37and yeah they paved the way see i'm about to get emotional because i have been talking to a colleague
52:45about access and opportunity and um those things but let me answer this question and we'll be done
52:51and it is um what is the question thinking back a family of origin a piece of wisdom and i have to go
52:58to my dad floyd perry um i was complaining you know during the time i was getting my master's degree
53:06i was complaining about some things and um he was just looking at me like wait
53:13as good as you have it now you know you're complaining but he told me this and i will never
53:21forget this he said if others can do it you can do it too and that is just a piece of wisdom that
53:31has stuck with me through you know because encompassed or in um encapsulated in those words
53:39is integrity and hard work and perseverance and grit and determination they're all in that in those
53:48words it says if others can do it you can too just in those eight words all of those those characters
53:57the those um character um what is it characteristics are you know um are in those words and uh it sticks
54:07with me and he told me that maybe i don't know how many years ago but it's just uh that wisdom um
54:15and it carries it carries me to now that i share with my students you know it's like if others can
54:21do it you you can do it too you can too you can't if others yeah that is great wisdom because you know
54:27what we don't always get that and i'll tell you yeah people of color yeah they don't you know because
54:33sometimes they're their family members haven't gone down that path right this kind of education or
54:40this kind of education and they don't know right right to say that right you were lucky your father
54:46was a educated man right right right yes sir yes and got got to you know your dad used to um always
54:54encourage us he wanted us to go to hbcus um and he's always every time you guys would come up
55:01uncle floyd would always have some conversation that always it was and always and you know what man i
55:09i have those conversations and i know i went to captain d's a fish place and one of my first
55:18students was behind the counter and as soon as she recognized me i recognized her it was the toughest
55:26class i had ever it was my first class and my toughest class and um you know what it reminded me
55:33i started talking like my dad like what are you doing with yourself and you can do this and i'm
55:41so proud of you that you are working and she just lit up like like a christmas tree and i was like
55:50that's see that's what that's the seed that somebody may need right and i'm glad that that was on your
55:58heart to speak to her in that kind of voice oh yes you never know right what effect that you might
56:03have on someone oh man every time i see a student or a former student i i so i start sewing into them
56:11into them because yeah like you say that they may not hear that you know they may not hear that but
56:19wow man you have blessed me today uh well same with this you really have and this is and i hope that
56:28something that we have said has resonated with you out there and um wow this is what you're going to
56:36get with what do you have to say uh this is what you're going to get hopefully you're going to get a
56:41little more as we learn learn even more about each other and ourselves and how to do a podcast right
56:50which is new and all that kind of stuff you know we we really want to encourage um uh you to like
56:58and subscribe and do all those things you know and if if you if you want to keep the conversation
57:04going and catch every new episodes you know just make sure that you you subscribe to us and that
57:09would help you know and we really appreciate insights from people and we want feedback from
57:16you absolutely um because that will help us you know maybe you have some thoughts about
57:21questions that we could ask and talk about and right all that kind of stuff right right yeah i think
57:28we would love for this to be interactive at some point in time maybe uh uh we would have a
57:35a viewer join us it's coming in this conversation it's coming okay yes yes well philip i think we're
57:42done all right we're done we're done okay we're done well be on the out on the out be on the lookout
57:51for our first official podcast which probably will be in the next week right um we plan on releasing
57:59uh podcasts every week we decided on wednesday right wednesdays yes and that may change you know
58:06maybe it's not a good day but right it's gonna be wednesday and uh we hope to see you there hope to see
58:12you there thank you guys you're great thank you bye-bye bye-bye
58:17what do you have to say there's no time
58:26that's like go time right now what
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