00:00Here, Dave!
00:01Wow, a stocking full of five-hour energy shots?
00:04Yeah, it's actually got all the holiday flavors inside of it, and you know, I stayed up all
00:08night wrapping that, so could you...
00:10Sure.
00:11Oh, no, no, I said all night.
00:14Oh, for God's sakes.
00:15Stabbed in the ass at Walmart.
00:30You can only hope.
00:32No, you don't.
00:33This is a guy who claims when he sat down on a Walmart toilet...
00:40Oh, no, I've been there.
00:42He was stabbed with syringes.
00:45Oh, my God, no.
00:47Are you kidding?
00:49No.
00:49Walker told me I had AIDS.
00:51That's all I'd be thinking.
00:52You do, because you do.
00:55Because you do, Dave.
00:57Police in Farmington, New Mexico are investigating claims by 51-year-old Jason Roth, who reported
01:03being stabbed by syringes taped to a Walmart toilet.
01:08Here's the picture from the police department.
01:11Oh, my God, no.
01:13My fat ass would be injected up.
01:18What is in me?
01:20What kind of sweet heroin am I into now?
01:22He told officers he sat down in the toilet and immediately felt the syringes against his
01:27skin.
01:28Dude, you could probably rig that to really do some terrible things to people.
01:33The syringes contained pink fluid.
01:36What is in the fluid, man?
01:38And were attached with medical tape.
01:41So that's legit the actual photo of this?
01:46Yes, it's from the Farmington Police Department.
01:48Oh, my God.
01:49That's terrifying.
01:49He said Walmart staff didn't seem to care about the situation at all.
01:56Of course not.
01:56Of course not.
01:57Another person stabbed by syringes on the toilet.
01:59Big whoop.
02:00Of course.
02:02Get in line.
02:05Initial testing on the syringe contents proved inconclusive.
02:08With further analysis pending at the state forensics lab.
02:14Stay tuned.
02:16I guess you wouldn't see it.
02:19Well, no, because I think it's probably on the back side, right?
02:22So the part against the wall that you wouldn't.
02:26There's the dude that was stabbed in the ass.
02:28Oh, yeah.
02:28He didn't do this.
02:29It wasn't him.
02:30Oh, no, it wasn't.
02:32It wasn't him.
02:32I know two things you mix that could be pink, and they're bad.
02:41What would they?
02:42Let's hear your Jason math.
02:43Well, red and white.
02:45Blood.
02:46Oh, yeah.
02:48Oh, my God.
02:48I feel like they would have.
02:50Blood and semen.
02:50I think they would have known.
02:52Don't you think they would have been able to tell that right away?
02:54Like, I feel like they're going to find out that it was, like, grapefruit juice or something.
02:59Bloody juice is the last thing I want in my ass.
03:01No, I wish I could say that.
03:04Oh, my gosh.
03:05I've had that multiple times.
03:07Okay.
03:08Oh, my God.
03:09Almighty.
03:10What in the hell is going on around here?
03:12You got to pay.
03:13You got to pay for things.
03:16No, I don't know.
03:18I don't know what that is.
03:19What is it?
03:20It looks like grapefruit juice to me.
03:22I hope it's.
03:23You hope it's grapefruit juice.
03:25Inconclusive could also mean they know it's that stuff, and now they just have to.
03:30Identify.
03:34Because you're right.
03:35I was like, I was thinking he was going to tell us about some kind of drug cocktail.
03:41Right.
03:41Me too.
03:41I'm like, oh, it's cocaine and.
03:43Like, what is it?
03:44Like, what is it?
03:44And he's like, just busted out the old.
03:46Blood and semen.
03:48Yep.
03:48The old classic.
03:49Yeah.
03:50You hope that.
03:50And two syringes.
03:51Like, is it one enough?
03:52It looks like it could be that.
03:55You're going blood and semen too?
03:56It looks like it could be that, man.
03:58That's a lot of blood and semen, guys.
04:00It is.
04:01It is.
04:01Two full syringes.
04:02But don't you think, like, if I've come up with this diabolical plan.
04:07Oh, well, then definitely.
04:08Walker told me I have AIDS.
04:10Yeah.
04:10And it would be like two parts blood.
04:12One part semen.
04:14Mm-hmm.
04:14To get the pink.
04:15Yep.
04:16Pinkish color.
04:17Yeah.
04:18He knows the pink.
04:19He knows the exact concoction.
04:21I've had it a lot.
04:22A little weird.
04:24Okay, but so I guess the thing that he's lucky is that he didn't design something that when
04:31you sat down with pressure, it actually shot the stuff in you, right?
04:37It doesn't look like the stuff shot in him.
04:40Someone said, I work at a veterinary clinic and the euthanasia solution is pink.
04:45Oh, my God.
04:46But where do I get that on the weekend?
04:49You know what I mean?
04:50Yeah.
04:50Bum, bum, bum.
04:51There's your sound effect.
04:53Yeah.
04:53Right?
04:54Yes.
04:55Sorry.
04:55Yes.
04:57A little late there, but wow.
05:00I don't like it.
05:01I don't like.
05:04Bloody semen?
05:05A syringe in.
05:07In you.
05:08No.
05:09In your butt.
05:09Being euthanized in a Walmart bathroom?
05:11No.
05:11I mean, I guess I'll take bloody semen over that, right?
05:14At least.
05:14Well, yeah, but until you find out that you're on a cocktail of everything.
05:19It doesn't look like, although they may have pricked him, it doesn't look like much
05:24was out of this, right?
05:25Well, no, I don't think there's any.
05:26I don't think there's any way, you know.
05:28You'd have to push it.
05:28You'd have to push it.
05:29I mean, in my brain, I've already designed it.
05:32I already know what I would, the changes I would make to make it truly terrible.
05:36Yeah, that's great.
05:37You just have to put like a board underneath and then put the syringes up a tiny little
05:43bit higher and then the pressure would have.
05:45I mean, I always look before I sit down, obviously.
05:48I don't know if I look that close.
05:52You don't, you haven't seen any of this.
05:52I'm more looking in a bowl to make sure there's no turds left behind.
05:55Yeah.
05:56You never saw the camera.
05:58I feel like I'd be safe.
06:00Oh, because your little ass would fit on the seat?
06:04My cute little butt would fit perfectly.
06:06I wouldn't even know.
06:07None the wiser.
06:09I'd be pricked.
06:11Hey, I'm not hanging over the edges.
06:13No.
06:15I'm going to have to check my clearance.
06:17I'm going to have to check my clearance.
06:18Oh, there you go.
06:19See how you did.
06:19Yeah, I'm going to check my clearance today.
06:20It's like one less thing you have to worry about, Jason.
06:22Yeah, isn't it good?
06:23Yeah.
06:23Because of your cute little, I'm not even going to say it.
06:25Say it.
06:25It'll be used against me somehow.
06:27Say it.
06:27What do I have?
06:27No, I'm not saying it.
06:28What are you thinking I have?
06:29Cute little tush.
06:30Cute little butt.
06:32Cute little tushy.
06:33No, your words.
06:35He likes your tush.
06:37That's not what I said.
06:38I heard that too.
06:39Yeah.
06:39Yeah, did you?
06:40He's always looking me up and down.
06:43Sizing you up.
06:44It's too much now.
06:45Yep.
06:46Dainty little tush.
06:46Anyway, watch out for toilet needles.
06:49What a thing to now have to worry about.
06:52I'm sure it's an isolated situation.
06:53I can't even imagine that.
06:54I hope it's not a case of someone sets it up for attention.
06:59I'm sure it might.
07:00That happens a lot, right?
07:01I bet that's it.
07:02No, but are you saying like the guy who was pricked?
07:06Yeah.
07:06Like I claim that I was pricked.
07:08Oh, I don't think so.
07:08I don't either, but you never know.
07:10You never know.
07:11Life is life.
07:12Yeah.
07:12That would hurt.
07:13Those needles, that would really hurt.
07:15Yeah.
07:16I jab myself now all the time, and I just...
07:21Yeah, but to sit was force on it.
07:23To sit, you're not ready for it, you know?
07:25Yeah.
07:26And it's double syringes.
07:29Two pricks in one.
07:30Mm-hmm.
07:30Not great.
07:33Not great at all.
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