Poop In A Box

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who pooped inside of a box at a Michigan Meijer and hear from listeners about the crazy places they've seen someone use the bathroom.

Transcript

00:00up first what a dastardly crime no not dastardly dastardly poop in a box oh i may have i may know

00:15about this a man not that i did it a man pooped in an empty box closed it and left it on a shelf

00:25at a metro detroit area grocery store james tail as old as time yeah pretty regular occurrence

00:34back in my grocery store days the meyer security footage recorded the suspect pooping in the aisle

00:40then placing the defecated box back on the shelf correct me if i'm wrong james yes if a man

00:50takes a box out poops in it and then puts it on the shelf isn't that the best case scenario for an

00:57in-isle poop yeah i mean here's the thing if he's diabolical and he does it in the shoe department

01:01and now it's like you're trying to find the poop box like you're trying to find the lost ark after

01:06indiana jones has filed it away right you don't know which box is diabolical yeah yeah he's putting

01:12right on the shelf next to like the cocoa puffs or whatever like it's going to be easy to find

01:16so james who is responsible then in you know like when you worked at that grocery store

01:22who would be responsible to clean the poop in a box usually the overnight crews at these grocery

01:28stores if it's still the same are like their main priority is to stock the shelves and scrub the

01:33store down so hopefully they have the midnight crew going in there and they'll scrub the right ever

01:38the scene of the crime someone said i live in this city small community it's all anyone can talk

01:43it's the talk of the town have you heard about the poop admire good morning it's out on my walk

01:48did you hear there's a poop in a box of mine of course i've heard about it you heard about it

01:51already oh man that's all i'm thinking about i hope they catch him i hope they catch him too we

01:56can't be having that here in van buren township ashley on a regular line here hi ashley good morning

02:01hi i have two quick stories that go together with cleaning up bathroom stuff and they're really

02:08disgusting so sounds when i was eight when i was 18 i got my second job working at the gas station

02:15and it was like my second day i'm the new man they're teaching me how to do everything

02:18and this little old lady walks up to the counter and she goes excuse me uh i think the women's

02:26bathroom needs attending to and as she walks away we just see her hole from her head to her shoes

02:32just covered in poop i just mean smeared all over her body and toilet paper around her shoes

02:38so my boss co-worker start laughing and give me a mop i walk in there the whole toilet is just

02:46covered in poop the walls have poop on them and the ground has poop and a body mark like i don't

02:52know she fell she slept she slept she was pooping she probably slept an angel angel angel on the

03:00ground a poop angel oh the worst she had just blood and poop just jesus all right all right ashley

03:07that's enough i can't take any more i gotta let you go she's gonna keep going with blood and

03:10yeah ashley in effect that's called pooping blood she does yeah uh scott's with us next scott this

03:19guy pooped in a box at a meyer grocery store in belleville michigan and put it back on the shelf

03:23you had a story uh yeah i was working at a joanne fabrics i was a contractor at a joanne fabrics and i

03:31went into the bathroom and the first thing i noticed was a turd fell on the floor right in front of me like

03:38under the stall i saw the turd fall on the floor and i saw a man's hand pick it up barehanded

03:43oh no right and i was like oh my god so i like walked out of the bathroom like that was disgusting

03:49and then i saw the guy come out of the bathroom like a minute later and he shook his pant leg

03:56and a turd fell out of the bottom of his pants onto the floor you see that move a million times

04:00the old shaky leg syndrome called the manager yeah the old shake the leg i told the manager and she

04:07told me how much she hated her job sure yeah i assume uh on the best of days being a manager

04:13at a joanne fabrics it'll test you it's challenging you know it's just karen after karen after karen

04:20right this is a guy in the office just like i don't know how much more of this i can take i swear to god

04:27it's every day somebody's mad about fabric and and then when they're not mad about fabric they're

04:34doing things you can't even wrap your mind around you people pooping through their pant legs like a

04:41man poop through his family what's he doing that joy in fabric uh bill is in saint pete's hey good

04:47morning bill hey good morning what's your story what happened me me and a friend of mine working

04:54at the airlines all night he ate at denny's all these nachos and stuff anyway we're headed to go

04:59fishing down the highway and he starts screaming oh pull over pull over i pull over and uh he jumps

05:06out and opens the door and he's doing his business in front of the door and i hear a karen i look in

05:11the mirror and it's the oklahoma state patrol what happens when the state trooper catches you pooping

05:19at the side of the road well he walks up and he says what in the f are you doing and pete started

05:25screaming oh sir if you had to go as bad as i did you'd do the same thing and he's going my god he

05:31says go over here and get some dirt and cover that crap up and then he started bitching at me or

05:37sorry uh hollering at me saying don't let me catch you guys doing this again you know and uh

05:43anyway i was laughing so hard i was crying i'm sure if you're just the innocent driver as you know the

05:49passengers doing it i guess if you make enough of uh an effort to hide yourself you know so you don't

05:55get a public indecency charge or anything yeah they've got to realize that it obviously it's not

06:01your your deuce of choice you didn't decide hey can you just pull over so i could it was like oh my god

06:06pull over the oklahoma patrolman or whatever was just like what are you doing oh my god oh lord no

06:14what in the hell is going on here you cannot do that well if you're as bad as i did you'd understand

06:21officers i don't care how many nachos you got this is nacho special it's guaranteed i understand i love

06:28nachos much as the next man but prepare it's all those extra jalapenos i had them put on there i get

06:33it it'll burn right through you but you gotta get you gotta cover that up well maybe if you hand me a

06:38little bit of tp or something maybe got a tissue in your patrol car officer i do not this process

06:43i don't eat nachos while i'm working i'm gonna just shoot you this is just killing

06:48i'm just gonna shoot you and lie on the report i'll put a gun in his hand do it

06:54oh you must work at a grocery store i used to i thought i was moving up in the world

07:04we're dealing with someone who's not all there

07:06you

07:16you

07:20you

07:22you

07:24you

07:26you

07:28you

07:30you

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended