- 3 months ago
Join Frankie, Nina, EJ, and Levi as they watch random horror short films on Vimeo. We roast terrible fonts, awkward performances, odd camera choices, and confusing plots.
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FunTranscript
00:00Viewer discretion is advised.
00:04It's that time of year again.
00:05It's that time of year.
00:06I actually look forward to this time of year a lot.
00:08It's the one that I always, I'm like,
00:10we're not gonna do no views, are we?
00:12And I go, we gotta do no views.
00:14How am I gonna keep up with Vimeo without no views?
00:16Exactly.
00:17Wait, so this isn't pirate pizza review?
00:19I was ready for it though.
00:20So once again, John has set up a slough,
00:23a little film festival of horror films.
00:25For those who have never watched no views before,
00:27the idea is that we're trying to watch narrative.
00:29Short films that have been uploaded to the internet
00:32and watched by nobody.
00:33Even on YouTube,
00:34people don't watch fiction narrative on YouTube, right?
00:36No.
00:37It's purely like retro game top tens and unboxings.
00:41These platforms, but especially Vimeo,
00:43is where narrative fiction goes to die.
00:45But it's Halloween time and I wanna watch schlock.
00:47Yes.
00:48Over the years, we've seen good short films on no views.
00:51We've seen hilarious high school,
00:53kind of like bottom of the barrel.
00:54You try to avoid that kind of thing.
00:56I don't watch them,
00:57but I do do a quick scan through
00:59to see if I think it'll be like,
01:00not a miserable experience for everyone.
01:02Yeah, right.
01:03The search criteria is horror short film
01:04or Halloween short film.
01:06Yeah, under five minutes,
01:07less than a hundred views.
01:09Levi reminded us, as we forget every year.
01:11Yes.
01:12Wait, are any of these on YouTube with high views?
01:13Two of them are.
01:14This is one of them.
01:15This does have 10,000 views on YouTube,
01:18but 14 on Vimeo,
01:19which is a real indictment of Vimeo,
01:20if you think about it.
01:21Yes, it is.
01:22So this is called Tarot,
01:24and it's by somebody named Dirk Fenstermacher.
01:27Last year at this time when we did this,
01:28I mean, yeah, AI existed,
01:30but I don't think there was any expectation
01:31that AI would make its way into videos.
01:34Yeah.
01:35There's a possibility here.
01:36Are these 20, 25 for the most part?
01:37Yes, 20, 24 and 20, 25, one 20, 23,
01:40and one of them is a completely AI generated.
01:43What?
01:44Oh no.
01:45Here's Tarot by Dirk with his excellent font.
01:48No right on red in that building.
01:50I'm going to call this font Dirk.
01:53Dirk heavy italics?
01:54Dirk heavy italics?
01:55This is a terrible font, by the way.
01:57Yeah, it's really bad.
01:58My God.
01:59And red is the worst color in digital video
02:01for anything, of course.
02:02And now that's more orange?
02:04Is that a buff?
02:05Tommy Wiseau?
02:06Yeah.
02:07Yeah.
02:08I can't tell if it's a buff lady or not.
02:09Oh, hi, red cow.
02:11Oh, hi.
02:13Ever since she gave me this necklace,
02:15I've been thinking of her.
02:16Oh.
02:17Oh, no.
02:18Yeah, it's a man thinking of a lady.
02:20Thinking of a lady woman.
02:21Wait, what?
02:22I actually don't know if it's a man or a lady.
02:23I think it's a man.
02:24There's some manny curves here.
02:25That looks like a lady hand.
02:26I thought it was a man standing there,
02:27holding a necklace, reminding him of a lady.
02:28He may just have very pretty hands.
02:30True.
02:31Let's see.
02:32I'm going to need to know.
02:33Gender reveal.
02:34I think Nina's right.
02:35I think it's a man.
02:36How are you?
02:37How's mom?
02:38It's my man.
02:39And look, there's the mustache.
02:40It's a man, baby.
02:41Yeah, I know.
02:42Yeah, I know.
02:43Yeah, yeah.
02:45Yeah, I know.
02:46I've got to go see about a few things.
02:49Guess mom for me, yeah?
02:51Okay, Dante.
02:52We love you.
02:53Dante.
02:54Another Dante, like a gnome cave.
02:55I'll point out that we are well over 25% into the movie.
02:58Yeah, they're taking it a little bit slow.
03:00You don't have a lot of time, Tarot.
03:02They took it four minutes here and they're like,
03:04Oh my goodness, we have a title card too?
03:06Oh my god.
03:07A very low quality title card that's like,
03:09on the tier of party of four, might I add.
03:12Why did it chicken out before it did the full title card?
03:15Yes!
03:16Never mind.
03:17Yeah, I feel like the title didn't even come into focus.
03:19Elementary after effects there.
03:21Wait, we're doing like the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves thing?
03:24Yeah.
03:25Well, so I feel like this is where you should start,
03:27with the image and everything,
03:29and then you have her with the necklace.
03:32You can skip the whole gano part.
03:34Yeah.
03:35Yeah, say hi to mom for me.
03:37Okay, sis.
03:38Yeah, I know.
03:46The typical panoply of confusing shots.
03:49Panoply of confusing sounds?
03:51Yes.
03:52You won't die.
03:55It's Lucifer himself.
03:56So is this the lady?
03:58No, okay.
03:59I don't think we're seeing the lady in this one.
04:01I think she's done.
04:02No, the lady's done.
04:03I think you've seen her.
04:04She's out.
04:05She was only there to show us that he's heartbroken
04:07and he's in some sort of grief,
04:08and that's why he would seek out the tarot card reader.
04:10He's in a rough field.
04:11They had her for two hours before yoga class to film,
04:14and that's it.
04:15And he has unleashed something unexpected.
04:17By putting blood on tarot cards.
04:19What is it that you deserve?
04:20This is like our D&D game.
04:22Yeah, this is like 2024's The Crow.
04:25With every gift comes to sacrifice.
04:28So it's Satan?
04:31It's Lucifer himself.
04:32Could it be Satan?
04:39Boop.
04:42I got your nose.
04:47What do you desire?
04:48Please stick your fingernail in my forehead.
04:51Do you hear little charitable sounds from Levi?
04:55Oh, that's pretty.
04:56Oh, that's not bad.
04:58This is giving me Mandy vibes.
05:00Oh, yeah, totally, actually.
05:02Look, it's two people whose silhouettes match Levi's.
05:05Yeah, there you go.
05:08So now we get to play our favorite game.
05:10Is this me, Dan Avedan, or Kenny G in this silhouette?
05:14Or it could be Weird Al.
05:16Yeah, it could be Weird Al.
05:18I am one of those.
05:23So I assume that's the man, and that's the woman.
05:25He put the necklace back on the lady.
05:27Oh, the lady has the neck.
05:28Yeah, the problem is that they have the exact same silhouette.
05:31Right.
05:32And now Satan is pleased.
05:33In the death of a good man, eternity is seen looking through time.
05:37John Wolfgang.
05:38That's it?
05:39Well, so Satan does them a solid.
05:41There's no deal.
05:42Satan did them a good deal.
05:43There's no, like, Ursula Ariel comeuppance.
05:46In other words, when you need something, ask Lucifer.
05:49Frankie, 10,000 people watch that on YouTube?
05:52A computer watched that 10,000 times.
05:53They trained AI models on that video.
05:56To do what?
05:58Do not do this.
05:59That would be an excellent horror short film.
06:01Like, some of those shots are kind of nice,
06:03but the problem is that they're all that sort of, like,
06:06tutorial videos of, like, how to make your YouTube look cinematic,
06:09where they, like, run their hands across wheat.
06:12They had four minutes to do a character arc, and they did diddly squat.
06:15Yeah.
06:16I want to know more about how the sister feels about all this.
06:18Why was she introduced at all?
06:19Sounds like you guys got a lot more out of it than I did.
06:20Moving on.
06:21Moving on.
06:22Laundry.
06:23Horror short film.
06:24Every year, John always searches horror short film,
06:26and I think their metadata game is just so poor on Vimeo
06:29that it has to be in the title.
06:31I'm probably eliminating hundreds of good horror short films.
06:34There is no other metadata.
06:36So this has 12 views.
06:38We see a little thumbnail here of a...
06:40Dirty phone.
06:41A filthy phone.
06:42I slept all day.
06:53It's my favorite Taylor Swift song.
06:55I slept all day.
06:57Oh, I didn't know if she was on the floor or if she was coming down from the higher level.
07:01Well, so far it's meeting my expectations.
07:03The movie is called Laundry.
07:04Yep.
07:05This is me every other week when I do my laundry.
07:07A lot more hauling it down the stairs.
07:09Yeah.
07:10Well, of course, the real twist is there's not actually laundry in there.
07:15Stupid filthy phone.
07:20I would clean that phone if it was my phone.
07:22Even if it wasn't my phone.
07:23I don't think it's her phone based on the look she gave it.
07:25I think this is the laundry room in her building.
07:27It's the Supers room.
07:28Yeah.
07:29Yeah.
07:30This is quite a freaking laundry room.
07:31That's cool.
07:32I like that shot.
07:33Yeah.
07:34No, it's good.
07:35It's got depth.
07:36It's got a...
07:37It's a nice bloom.
07:38I mean, it's cliche.
07:39Yeah, but it's fine.
07:40It's good.
07:41I appreciate it.
07:42Like, it's something you could put on a mood board or in your reel.
07:45Am I the only one who's kind of focused on, like, the sexy butt?
07:49I was actually more focused on, like, the scarcity of this laundry room.
07:52I was somewhat focused on the butt.
07:53I didn't find it sexy.
07:55More about you guys.
07:56I thought it just looked uncomfortable.
07:58Like, why is it up her butt?
07:59Yeah, right.
08:00And if there was another woman on set, they could have done her assault.
08:02Quite frankly, those are Speed Queen washes.
08:04Yeah, we have them at my work.
08:05Yeah.
08:06With a Speed Queen mobile app.
08:07Yeah.
08:08Yeah.
08:09Oh, but she's putting coins in you.
08:10You can schedule your laundry.
08:11Yeah.
08:12That's why I think this is period.
08:13You think this is period specific now?
08:14Because by now, they wouldn't be having this.
08:16Because she's got coins, and then they had the weird...
08:17Oh, God, you're four minutes!
08:19What kind of psycho only takes out one coin at a time?
08:22Just dig in your pocket and get a handful of them.
08:24You have four minutes!
08:26Look, the exit light has gone out, so she can't even exit.
08:29Do it, lady!
08:30If anyone's a chat fan around here.
08:32The lights are coming for her.
08:33We're cutting in close.
08:35The tension is ratcheting.
08:37Oh!
08:38She's like, I gotta do this laundry before everything goes pitch black.
08:49Do you think it was inspired by somebody who, like, they feel scared every time they have to go do their laundry?
08:53Probably.
08:54And so it's kind of trying to tap into that.
08:58Oh, I thought they were singing Angel of Music, but they're not.
09:01Oh, yeah.
09:02Bravo!
09:03Bravo!
09:04Bravo!
09:05She's not scared.
09:06She's fine with this.
09:07She wanted this.
09:08She's okay.
09:09She wants this.
09:10This is what she intended to do?
09:11Why is the demon connected to the washing machine?
09:13To the laundry, yeah.
09:14He only arrives when you put in enough quarters.
09:16Suspend your disbelief.
09:17He's the speed king.
09:18It's the speed queen.
09:19Yeah.
09:20Forget about me.
09:21Oh, cool.
09:22I like that it's a voice.
09:23I had a rough week.
09:25Oh, laundry is evil.
09:27Okay.
09:29This is cool.
09:32I'll sleep a day.
09:37I will breathe in.
09:42Tell me what to do, fire.
09:44You will run four laps.
09:46I'll take you one mile.
09:51A blood offering to the laundry monster?
09:53With the sexy bum?
09:54Yes.
09:55The bum is a little distracting.
09:57Imagine paying a buck fifty to summon your patron and you still have to give him blood.
10:01Oh, God.
10:02Blood and 150.
10:03And then you've got to replace all those light bulbs.
10:06I slept all day.
10:10Oh.
10:11I'm gonna have an affair with the laundry monster.
10:15This is another day.
10:16Same .
10:17The worst things you can do is leave the laundry in the washer and not put it in the dryer.
10:21You have to wash it again at least once.
10:23Yeah, then it smells and you gotta do it all over again.
10:25Yeah.
10:26Throw in some vinegar.
10:30Taking your sweet time.
10:32What does the phone have to do with it?
10:34I don't know.
10:36Oh, he's back.
10:37He is back.
10:38Did she always do her laundry wearing the same thing?
10:40She has a laundry outfit.
10:41You forgot about me.
10:42It's like, come on.
10:45What?
10:46I'm confused.
10:48You've wasted my time.
10:49That was kind of a neat setup.
10:51Yeah.
10:52But no payoff.
10:53I would not mind seeing the feature length adaptation of Laundry Monster.
10:56Also just called Monster.
10:58Played by Corey Landmark.
11:00Ada and the Monster.
11:01They had two ACs on that.
11:02The only credit for some reason is the guy who uploaded it who was the cinematographer.
11:06Even though it said creator Amber somebody, so some lady.
11:09Yeah.
11:10Okay.
11:11So the cinematographer was like, well, I want to show it off.
11:12Yeah.
11:13Even if you don't, Amber.
11:14Okay.
11:15This next one's called Toy.
11:16Toy.
11:17Horror short film.
11:18Um, it may not be.
11:19It might be en français.
11:20Yeah.
11:21It may not be in English.
11:22Name's un ricoin oubladela.
11:39That's got a kind of a wider aspect ratio.
11:45So we think it's French?
11:46Uh, French or Canadian.
11:49Shooting's a little cool.
11:51Yeah, the aspect ratio is a little wide.
11:57Okay.
11:58Like, live action stop motion.
12:00Reminds me of that Alice in Wonderland, Czechoslovakian.
12:03Oh, that one's incredible.
12:04You know what I mean?
12:05That light is actually well balanced.
12:08Like, normally those kind of bathrooms are just like a crap.
12:11Yeah, yeah.
12:12This looks just like a sad bathroom, which I think is the point.
12:15Yeah.
12:20Maybe he's the laundry demon?
12:21Oh, okay.
12:22Pretty good audio.
12:23The origin story.
12:24Yeah.
12:25Just once I would like these movies to intersect.
12:35Uh, he's a Gundam Wing fan.
12:37An Iron Maiden fan.
12:38Even in France, they're like...
12:40Even on Francais.
12:41It's like, I hate it.
12:42There's always blood for half a second.
12:44And then I take my pills and I sleep and...
12:46Croissant.
12:48Croissant.
12:49Croissant.
12:50Croissant.
12:55They're speaking the universal language of blood for half a second and croissant.
13:02Croissant.
13:03Croissant.
13:04Croissant.
13:05Croissant.
13:06I know.
13:11Don't you hate it when your cable package only gives you the blood on hands channel?
13:15Yeah.
13:16I love the blood on hands channel.
13:21The croissant from within.
13:23That was the croissant.
13:25And why does he keep going with the croissant?
13:29I'm sure it must mean something else that we're not getting.
13:32Croissant.
13:33Croissant.
13:34Doi.
13:35Doi.
13:37We're just making stupid sounds now.
13:39Is that it?
13:41Pascal.
13:42Oh, thank you, Pascal Goulet.
13:43Thank you, Pascal.
13:44Croissant.
13:45Doi.
13:46Doi.
13:48Blood for half a second.
13:49Okay, so it's his brother because this is directed by Eric Goulet.
13:52Oh, you think so?
13:53Well, the star is Pascal Goulet.
13:55You've drawn some narrative conclusions.
13:57Wait, my narrative conclusion was he did something bad.
14:00Yeah.
14:01He's feeling the guilt of the blood on his hands.
14:02That's what I thought.
14:03He's being followed by his own conscience.
14:04Yes.
14:05And he can't escape it.
14:06Croissant.
14:07Croissant.
14:08Uh-huh.
14:09So this next one has 61,000 views on YouTube.
14:11Okay.
14:12We're not going to skip it.
14:13It only has eight views on Vimeo.
14:14In this horror short film, a girl tries to eradicate an insect at all costs, but due to
14:18a mysterious mix of chemicals, the insect grows into a giant and begins hunting her.
14:21Directed by Andrea Rica.
14:23Excellent.
14:24Let's see what they got.
14:25Meanwhile, in the Wachowskis.
14:30A stink bug.
14:31Oh, it's a stink bug.
14:32Yeah.
14:33I'm also afraid of stink bugs.
14:34She has a right to be concerned.
14:35Wow.
14:36We're getting right into it.
14:37All right.
14:38Good.
14:39Yeah, right?
14:40At least we're like doing the story.
14:48Any of these would have taken care of the bottle.
14:50Oh, is she going to make like cyanide gas?
14:52She's working in the lab.
14:53Did she mix-
14:54Do not mix random chemicals at home, kids.
14:55Yeah, don't mix peroxide and bleach.
14:57Yeah.
14:58No, don't do it.
14:59A little bit of ammonia, a little bit of bleach.
15:01It'll take care of that.
15:05Oh, yeah.
15:06She definitely gassed herself.
15:10Um.
15:11Whoa.
15:13Is that CG?
15:14Practical?
15:18Herbie the love bug.
15:19What kind of reference is that?
15:20Anything bug related.
15:21They were like throwing it in.
15:22Oh.
15:23Oh, yeah.
15:24Throw it in.
15:25Is she going to fall in love with him?
15:26No.
15:27Is this a horror romance?
15:28Oh, that would be fascinating to know.
15:30We already had our horror romance between like the girl and the laundry demon.
15:36I like that it has that kind of mummy return CG.
15:38Yeah.
15:39Yeah.
15:40I'm not so sure about this.
15:41Look at that.
15:42Oh, no.
15:43Oh, no wonder it has 61,000.
15:45Uh.
15:46What?
15:47Wait.
15:48How'd she get out of that room?
15:49Um, I can see the shadow of the cameraman.
15:51Oh, so she's safe.
15:52Someone's with her.
15:53No.
15:54What was that missing frame?
15:55What was that?
15:56Oh, you can see the green around her too.
15:57Yeah.
15:58Oh, and now we're disoriented entirely.
15:59Okay.
16:00This is amazing.
16:01Honestly, this is great.
16:02It's like the Quantum of Solace chase where you don't know where-
16:03Oh, no.
16:04We didn't even see a muzzle flash.
16:05Or a muzzle flash.
16:06Well, because I actually think she's passed out on the couch still from when she gassed
16:07herself.
16:08Oh, okay.
16:09Yeah.
16:10She breathed in the fumes from all the crap she mixed together.
16:11Yeah.
16:12This is actually a PSA.
16:13Oh, my God.
16:14Oh.
16:15Got him.
16:16GG.
16:17Got him.
16:18Nice job.
16:19Um.
16:20Yeah, she breathed in the fumes from all the crap she mixed together.
16:24Yeah.
16:25This is actually a PSA.
16:26Oh, my God.
16:27Oh.
16:28Got him.
16:29GG.
16:30Got him.
16:31Nice job.
16:32I don't want to start killing that lantern.
16:33This is what happens when you drink the purple stuff instead of the sunny D.
16:36Yes.
16:37Yes.
16:38Don't drink the fabuloso.
16:39Tripled.
16:40On the low quality exterior of her poem.
16:45Night of the Bug will return.
16:47I got caught that one.
16:5061,000.
16:5161,000 people for that.
16:53Editing in 3D VFX by Andrea herself.
16:56Oh.
16:57It's an Italian website.
16:58You go to andrearica.it for more.
17:01All right.
17:02Next up is Benched by Joe Kendrick.
17:03Okay.
17:04What does he have to say?
17:05Nothing.
17:06Nothing.
17:07One just yet.
17:08The Valkyries.
17:09The Valkyries.
17:10The Valkyries.
17:11Wow.
17:12Oh, this is a comedy?
17:14Not yet.
17:15Not right now you don't.
17:16He was excited about the bench.
17:17Now he's horrified.
17:18Yeah.
17:19Man's been Dutch.
17:20I mean, I would love that bench.
17:21I like that he goes from extreme emotion to the next.
17:23He's acting like it's the 2000s.
17:24Is it just me?
17:25He's acting like it's the 2000s?
17:26Like he's in a 2000s movie.
17:27Yeah.
17:28The amount of cuts.
17:29Maybe I wouldn't sit on that bench.
17:30It looks weak.
17:31Right?
17:32That looks like a breakaway bench.
17:33Yeah, it looks like a breakaway bench.
17:34That looks like fat guy on a bench.
17:35Fat guy on a bench.
17:36Oh, gorilla.
17:37Interrupted.
17:38Oh, gorilla.
17:39Like it's the 2000s.
17:39Like he's in a 2000s movie.
17:41Yeah.
17:45The amount of cuts.
17:47Maybe I wouldn't sit on that bench.
17:49It looks weak.
17:50Right?
17:51That looks like a breakaway bench.
17:52Yeah, it looks like a breakaway bench.
17:53That looks like fat guy on a bench.
17:55Fat guy on a bench.
17:57Oh, gorilla interrupted.
17:59Oh, gorilla.
18:03He almost has like some silent film style acting.
18:06He does.
18:06Where everything is very big and very expressive.
18:08He's got Rob Schneider written all over it.
18:10Or as John put it, the 2000s.
18:12He's mean you've been.
18:13Rob Schneider's on a bench.
18:15He's sitting on a bench.
18:16And he's going to realize that sitting on a bench.
18:20Did you take too many of the mushrooms?
18:27Leaf cut?
18:28Rock cut?
18:30What?
18:31Drug cut?
18:32What the fuck is going on?
18:33All right, so a very common horror short film trope.
18:41A bunch of crap and then rawr.
18:44Well, if you only have a minute and 39, that's about all I think you can do.
18:49This one looks sweet.
18:50I was drawn in by the title card, I gotta say.
18:52So bunny, a horror short film, from Ben Labadia.
18:55A girl with a childlike obsession with bunnies becomes the new obsession of a serial killer
18:58known as the Bunny Man.
19:00Oh.
19:01Mwahaha.
19:01Um, why are we shooting in 60 FPS?
19:07Mmm, because they don't know about 24.
19:09The title was cool.
19:10Why do you shoot in 60, dude?
19:12It gives it a more surreal atmosphere.
19:15By surreal, if you mean like sitcom?
19:17Yes.
19:17Yeah.
19:18It doesn't even look like sitcoms, though.
19:20I would like this so much more in 24.
19:39I would take that again, actually.
19:41Yeah, I would take it several more times.
19:43Yeah, and it being in 60 does kind of...
19:47Make it seem amateurish.
19:48Yeah, it seems very strange.
19:51Can we get this in 24, guys?
19:53Can you convert to 24 with AI technology?
19:55Absolutely.
19:56Probably.
19:57I think she's under-responding to this threat.
20:01We're hearing you're through the glass.
20:02I get it.
20:02Okay.
20:05Okay.
20:06All right.
20:06All right.
20:07Yeah.
20:07Croissant.
20:09Croissant.
20:09Toy.
20:10Toy.
20:12Why is her room so weird?
20:16Like, why does she match her room?
20:17It's camouflage.
20:18Yes.
20:19Why is her room one shade of beige and like from the 1990s?
20:24Is it Scandinavian?
20:25Bunny.
20:26It does feel a little bit out of this country.
20:28But the exteriors looked like American suburbs.
20:31True.
20:31And those were like the New Britain bus.
20:33I'm getting the vibe that the light is too low to keep critical focus.
20:37You couldn't fix that flopping bunny sign for the shoot?
20:42Oh, it was...
20:43It's a plot point, John.
20:45You were meant to notice.
20:47But maybe it wasn't meant to be.
20:49She just eaten chocolate bunnies year-round.
20:52This is happening in October.
20:53I once had a bunny.
20:54Maybe she was a bunny.
20:56She has the bunny ear.
20:57It just looks so off.
20:59Yeah.
21:00I'm disoriented by the bad technology decisions.
21:03Mostly the frame rate.
21:04See, the thing is, like, I'm so used to with these, of them looking at least a certain quality,
21:09that this is, like, throwing me off, because it looks like what we'd see 10 years ago.
21:13True, but the composition is not 10 years ago.
21:15It's a little bit better than that.
21:16Is she supposed to be a child, based on the pigtails and going to a school with school buses?
21:21No, childlike.
21:21But she went to a school that has school buses.
21:23Well, was the black and white photo of her her?
21:26Is she timeless?
21:28How old is she?
21:29You could laugh at a Levi.
21:33It's just absurd.
21:34But doesn't the door open the other way?
21:36The door opens out, love.
21:37Yeah.
21:37This will stop her.
21:38Yeah, right?
21:39He's like, I'm still going to be able to see you.
21:40And she looks out the window, but he's in the middle.
21:42Why is he banging?
21:43Why not just open it gently?
21:46And then he can climb over the table.
21:49This is a piece of s***.
21:51That's a big closet.
21:52It is a big closet.
21:54It is a piece of s***.
21:55Would you like a big closet?
21:56What would you do with a big closet?
21:57Put a lot of junk in it.
21:59Yeah, you would, wouldn't you?
22:00You'd say, don't go in that closet, Friday.
22:01Don't go in that closet.
22:02She's going to try to kill him with a hanger?
22:03Yeah.
22:09Bunny!
22:10Bunny!
22:11Bunny!
22:13So, like, the kind of bludgeoned rags are meant to be bunny ears
22:17and then the thing hops for some reason?
22:20If I could get, like, crazy castle music behind this whole thing,
22:23I'd...
22:35Bernie!
22:36He did it. He said the thing.
22:44She's been laid and stayed.
22:47Now we'll ride in Pinewood Park.
22:49So, somebody's parent had a room filled with these bunnies.
22:57And they were like, this is kind of creepy.
22:59I'm going to make a short film about it.
23:00I have to say, I actually kind of like the choice to take a photo
23:03and then have that scroll with the credits.
23:06It's kind of creative.
23:07I thought it was going to be so much better based on that cool opening title card.
23:10It looks good.
23:11The costume, it's interesting.
23:13It's like suburban.
23:14So we're looking at dinner date.
23:15Who would ever put this red border around your video?
23:19It's the anti-Scott DeWaz effect.
23:21Two views uploaded in 2025 last month.
23:24All right.
23:24You want to make a guess whether or not this is going to suck bulls?
23:32You have a beautiful home.
23:34Oh, thank you.
23:36Are they the same guy?
23:37Yeah, at first.
23:38Oh, okay.
23:39I'm dishonored.
23:40I'm having dinner with an award-winning chef that has penned three cookbooks.
23:45He's going to be a cannibal.
23:46He wants to eat them.
23:47I love acting unnaturally.
23:49What's wrong?
23:51Take it again.
23:52He can't.
23:52He can't act.
23:53It's not possible.
23:54I forgot an ingredient.
23:56You, the master chef.
23:59What the is going on?
24:00Hey, I can explain.
24:02It's a new recipe.
24:04I don't quite have it all.
24:06They couldn't afford Kevin Spacey.
24:07Yeah.
24:08Dude, you remember that, like, what was it?
24:11Like that Romanian, like, cannibal movie that we watched?
24:13It was, like, 20 minutes and it was sweet.
24:15Got to experiment a little more.
24:17All right.
24:18All right.
24:19If I was here, I'd want to go home.
24:23Like if you were on the set filming this?
24:25No, if I was in this situation, I'd want to go home.
24:28Well, they're both lobotomized.
24:30Is this supposed to be, like, menu?
24:31Like, he's a little bit sycophantic for the chef?
24:33Yeah.
24:34I guess.
24:35Well, I mean, it's a messy kitchen.
24:37Yeah, very cluttered space.
24:40I'm just chuffed by you in your little kitchen.
24:42Is that some commercial-grade toaster oven in the back?
24:44Oh, now's a quick time for masturbation.
24:48Yeah, I was wondering, like, what is the relationship between these?
24:53Steal the recipe?
24:54Beef.
24:55Now is it my opportunity to very, very obviously steal?
25:00Okay, you kill people.
25:02I wanted the recipe when I discovered he's a cannibal.
25:06Recipe idea.
25:08This is how you act.
25:10That's how you act?
25:12I can act like that.
25:15Frankie, what?
25:20Food?
25:21The omens?
25:22Up until I die, that's how I'm acting.
25:26Now, he is part of the ingredients, too.
25:29Wow.
25:30Man, he was able to prep him really fast.
25:32Yeah, really cleanly.
25:33Just right there in the kitchen.
25:34There's no blood on him right there.
25:36Well, I figured I'm having a guest tomorrow.
25:39If I leave it out overnight.
25:41Oh.
25:42Oh.
25:43That's just bad crime.
25:44Yeah, that's just...
25:46As executive producers.
25:48If I leave the skin on it like that, it's just not going to taste right.
25:52Open sign entertainment.
25:53That was a terrible piece of shit.
25:55Yeah.
25:56Short film.
25:57All right.
25:58That was awful.
25:59All right, you want to make a guess whether or not this is going to suck balls?
26:01I wanted to guess what was going to be the AI one.
26:03Yeah.
26:04This one's titled Gormand AI Horror Short.
26:06Okay.
26:07Now, did you search AI Horror Short?
26:08No.
26:09A nightmare in VO3.
26:10The thing is, I've played with VO3.
26:11What I don't understand is you can only get eight seconds at a time.
26:14Maybe there's a higher tier.
26:15You can only generate 10 videos a day.
26:17So how would you be able to paste together 80 seconds that you were happy with?
26:21Well, let's see.
26:22Maybe it's going to be 80 seconds we're really unhappy with.
26:25Directed by?
26:26I mean, would you even go so far as to say I directed this?
26:29I would credit myself as generated by.
26:31Yeah, generated by.
26:32There is some work involved in the generation, but it's not like you did this.
26:35Right, right.
26:36Really.
26:37Warning.
26:3810, 9.
26:39Take 30 of the seconds doing this.
26:40Oh, yeah.
26:41That's why they pad it.
26:43Padding.
26:44Padding.
26:45Padding.
26:46Padding.
26:47Padding.
26:48Padding.
26:49Padding.
26:50Padding.
26:51Padding.
26:52Padding.
26:53Padding.
26:54Sorry.
26:55Use the title card again.
26:57The brain must be calm when taken.
27:00It looks fucking cool.
27:01Still warm, but quiet.
27:03If it still remembers, it flavors deeper.
27:07And VO3 will do that for you?
27:10Briefly.
27:11The soul doesn't like to linger.
27:14Butter from the bone.
27:16Garlic black as night.
27:18I thought VO3 would say sorry, that's against TOS.
27:20Yeah, I thought so too.
27:21These are like, these are like intensely gross and horrific.
27:26I assume you do your own sound.
27:30Your own blade.
27:31To madness.
27:32Some of the visuals are really cool.
27:39That's it.
27:40I hope you enjoyed my AI movie.
27:42It's kind of a vision of the future though.
27:44The quality of this stuff is just going to go through the roof.
27:46There were a couple of times where it transitioned and it looked very AI, but there were concepts.
27:51Here's why I think would be a great use for something like this is to essentially produce a sizzle reel.
27:57To give a team like, hey, this is kind of what I was thinking.
27:59These are some of the visual ideas that we're going for to provide atmosphere.
28:03People have made fake trailers before to pitch a movie or whatever.
28:06Yeah.
28:07You could kind of, yeah, it's like a new way to pre-vis or storyboard I suppose.
28:10Yeah, I mean that would be a way to do that.
28:13It's not a movie.
28:14No.
28:15It's a series of generations.
28:16Yeah.
28:17And you can say, my first question was like, well, how will you make it feel like a consistent vision?
28:21And it didn't.
28:22But he also decided like, I'll make something where the whole idea is that it's disparate concepts and thoughts.
28:27So anyway, they'll have to give you a different tier where you can generate a lot more movie.
28:31I'm sure that's coming.
28:32I'm sure in a year we'll watch this old no views and be like, oh yeah, remember when you couldn't do that?
28:36Yeah.
28:37All right, and the final one, The Apartment.
28:38I think this one wasn't on YouTube whatsoever.
28:40I don't think so.
28:41It doesn't have horror in the title, I'm just noticing, even though it showed up on the list.
28:44Yeah, what are we doing here?
28:45Well, we're going to see.
28:46It'll only take two minutes of our time maximum.
29:01Vapor perfumes.
29:03Vapor perfumes.
29:08Ketchup sprays on the breakfast like Zack wants it so...
29:13A lot of skinny, attractive people.
29:15Croissant.
29:20Didn't eat your beans.
29:23Who are these humans?
29:24This looks like drug use in the 80s.
29:28This is what drug use felt like in the 80s.
29:30Yeah.
29:31It looked far less like this.
29:32It looks cool than this.
29:33Get the lewds.
29:34In the judgment's here.
29:38This knowledge I despise.
29:40I like the visuals, actually.
29:42Yeah.
29:43Yeah, absolutely.
29:44I don't know that there's anything happening, but...
29:47Yeah, I mean, there's no story here, but...
29:51It's all, like, everything feels like somebody worked hard to create it.
29:55Is it?
29:58Is it a music video for a David Bowie-esque song?
30:02Maybe it is.
30:03I don't know why it showed up on the horror short films.
30:06John, how'd you get this?
30:09Happy Halloween, John.
30:10This is someone's Halloween.
30:11I mean, it is horrific.
30:12This is somebody's Halloween.
30:13That person might be dead.
30:15That person might be having Halloween.
30:19Is this all presumably happening in one apartment?
30:22Eh, they're not dead.
30:23Were those boobs?
30:25I think they were male...
30:26I think they could be boobs.
30:27I think it could be beef.
30:29These are hard to achieve visuals.
30:30Yeah, I mean, those are...
30:31Yeah, this is work.
30:32...like, really beautiful.
30:33Yeah.
30:34That's a nice decanter.
30:35And a lot of, like, nice production design.
30:37Yeah.
30:38Somebody must have just been like, I want to put...
30:40All right.
30:41Okay, happy Halloween.
30:42Well, that was cool.
30:44It was cool.
30:45It wasn't horror.
30:46Sorry, guys.
30:47Somehow, John messed that one up.
30:49Does anybody have a favorite?
30:50The bug one.
30:51Yeah, it was sweet.
30:52Yeah, it was terribly sweet.
30:54And I have a little bit of lingering attraction to laundry,
30:56even though it turned out to be terrible.
30:58Yeah, if the festival had, like, most potential,
31:00could be developed the most or something, it would probably be laundry.
31:02It might be fun someday to go back and be like,
31:04because we've been doing this now for years.
31:05Yeah.
31:06What were the best movies every year?
31:07The one that always sticks out in my mind is the table one.
31:10Do you remember that one?
31:11We've seen better than that.
31:12Yeah.
31:13Do you not remember this Romanian cannibal one that I'm talking about?
31:14That was good.
31:15That was pretty amazing.
31:16All right, happy Halloween!
31:17Happy Halloween!
31:18Give me that buzz.
31:19Give me that buzz.
31:20Three!
31:21What are you?
31:22Three!
31:23Three!
31:24Two!
31:25And what really?
31:26He is riding on these están in the soort of friends.
31:27Two!
31:28Holy�� porque a lot.
31:29Five!
31:30Three!
31:31What amazing!
31:32lining makes things like a dream!
31:33Three!
31:35One!
31:36Two!
31:37Point!
31:38One!
31:39One!
31:40Of course.
31:41Six!
31:42Nine!
31:43Three!
31:44Two!
31:45Three!
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