Horrible Histories 2001 Episode 1-2 Terrible Tudor

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Transcript

00:01The trouble with being a kid today is you grow up too quickly.

00:04There's just not enough time.

00:06Well, for some kids, that is.

00:13Where are we this time?

00:15Horrible Histories.

00:17Wow!

00:18Horrible Histories.

00:21Who would do that?

00:23A smart, hunkered caveman. Good idea.

00:26Have any of you seen a girl about so tall, big?

00:30Cartoon-y eyes?

00:31Oh, and you gotta go.

00:32You gotta go.

00:33And wait, Stature can't find him anyway.

00:36Wow! Socrates rocks!

00:40Is that the Spanish Armada?

00:42Horrible Histories.

00:45Horrible Histories.

00:49Horrible Histories.

00:53Well, Mo, what do you think about all this cool old stuff?

00:57We're history!

01:00Here we are at the annual Stitchin' Mo Pizza Eating Contest.

01:16Okay, uh, okay, um, ready?

01:24What, afraid you're gonna lose?

01:26No, just bell peppers make me.

01:28No excuses! Go!

01:35I win!

01:37Mo and Stitch, what a couple of me and foals.

01:42What a Neanderthal call us!

01:47Neanderthals.

01:48Why, uh, nobody call us, dumb monkey ring.

01:52Uh, wouldn't you like to discover what a Neanderthal is before you take it as an insult?

01:58Swallow first.

01:59Where are we this time?

02:13Bonjour!

02:14Welcome to the south of France 40,000 years ago.

02:17You mean the Paleolithic era?

02:19Yep. It's the time before written history, before pollution.

02:25Oh! What are we almost wearing?

02:28This is fur! I don't wear fur!

02:31As I was trying to say before animal rights activists.

02:34Since the nearest shopping center is about 40,000 years away, animal skins were a necessity, not a fashion statement.

02:43You little Neanderthal.

02:46What are you doing?

02:48Oh, look! I think I found a Neanderthal.

02:51That's sort of sweet.

02:53Darren doesn't know what he was talking about.

02:55Get a grip, lads. That wasn't a Neanderthal.

03:02At least it wasn't a dinosaur.

03:04Hold it.

03:05I think you guys are having an era problem.

03:08Maybe even an era infection.

03:10Hmm.

03:18Dinosaurs didn't exist at the same time as Neanderthal man.

03:21In fact, they died out 60 million years before Neanderthal man even hit the scene.

03:28With the death of the dinosaurs,

03:31smarter, vicious mammals were left to evolve into bigger, vicious mammals.

03:40And, before you know it,

03:44a group of big apes in Africa called Rampithecines,

03:47which were the first human-like creatures,

03:50left the trees and began exploring life on the plains.

03:55These apes developed the habit of walking upright on their hind legs,

03:59which set them apart from every other mammal.

04:03Wait a sec.

04:04If we evolved from monkeys or apes,

04:06how come there are still monkeys and apes?

04:10Different type of apes.

04:11These fellas had opposable thumbs, like you.

04:15Couldn't play video games without them.

04:17It's all in the opposable thumbs.

04:20Most animals have fixed thumbs or paws, right?

04:24But the evolving human hands have opposable thumbs for grasping,

04:29which give them greater ability to do things like...

04:32Hey, I get it.

04:33Like picking up sticks, tying sneaker laces,

04:36playing keyboard and thumb wrestling,

04:39playing keyboard and thumb wrestling.

04:40Did you just hear something?

04:44Nope.

04:47Sorry.

04:48Guess I'm hungry again.

04:50You just ate?

04:51Ah, one slice of pizza.

04:52Nothing to an evolving kid.

04:56Well, I don't suppose pizza's been invented yet.

04:59Sorry, no.

04:59You'll have to eat like the Neanderthals do.

05:01Yeah, well, I don't see any Neanderthals around to ask.

05:06Neanderthals were foragers, as well as hunters.

05:09Uh, let's see.

05:12Reptiles.

05:13Uh, bugs.

05:14Uh, carrion.

05:16Uh, seeds.

05:17Oh, here we are.

05:19Small animals.

05:20A couple of rabbit legs would be perfect for Thog's lunch.

05:22Attention, shoppers.

05:23We have a blue light special on snake eggs in aisle nine.

05:26Oh, that sounds lovely.

05:38Basically, if you can find it or catch it, you can eat it.

05:45Almost had it!

05:46Uh, who would do that?

05:50A smart, hungry caveman.

05:52Good idea.

05:54Hey, look.

05:55Raisins.

05:59These aren't raisins!

06:04Hey, is that beef jerky?

06:07Ugh, gross.

06:08Road pizza.

06:10And they didn't even have roads.

06:11Psh.

06:16Mo, it's getting dark.

06:22We can take care of ourselves.

06:24Oh, okay.

06:25I know Neanderthals used to make fire, but aren't they starting without magic?

06:32What good are opposable thumbs if they freeze off?

06:35I'm freezing, starving, and I'm starting to get a headache.

06:39I don't suppose aspirins have been invented yet?

06:41Not quite, but the Neanderthals did have a few ideas about primitive medicine.

06:46Welcome to Paleolithic Memorial Hospital, where our state-of-the-art facilities offer the

06:54finest in health care that a couple of animal pelts can buy.

06:57No matter what ails you, we have the specialist that can provide you with just the cure.

07:01If you've come down with the measles or other skin diseases, Dr. Chickenthrower knows just

07:06the trick, forcing a patient through a stone with a hole in its center.

07:12And remember, it won't work if the patient's wearing clothes.

07:15Backache, you say?

07:17We offer the most advanced techniques available anywhere.

07:21No primitive massage here.

07:23Instead, Nurse Cutstone has just the thing, a Stone Age tattoo guaranteed to remove the

07:29pain.

07:31Yes, folks, modern medicine is a wonderful thing.

07:35Finally, if you have a headache, Dr. Hole Driller has just the thing to make you feel better.

07:40Hole Driller will drill a hole in your head, letting out the nasty, evil spirits that are causing

07:45you all that pain.

07:48You call these ideas about medicine?

07:50I think I'll pass.

07:51I didn't say they were good ideas.

07:54It's incredible that Neanderthals were able to survive in a time like this.

07:58They look like us.

08:12Well, sort of.

08:15What do you think they want?

08:18Hi, we're new in town.

08:21Can you help us find something to eat?

08:22They think you talk funny.

08:32Yeah, well, they sound pretty dumb to me.

08:35Actually, we are very brainy, yeah?

08:40These melons bigger than future humans.

08:42But because of the shape of our vocal passages, we don't make as many sounds.

08:51Hey, they really seem to communicate well with each other.

08:54I think they're using sign language.

08:56Let's try it.

08:57Oh, you learn fast.

09:17Mo, do you hear that?

09:19Uh-oh.

09:21It's that ratty-miky thing we saw earlier.

09:24I wonder where it is.

09:25Hey, you're going to poke someone's eye out with that.

09:28Jimmy.

09:39It was just an annoying little furball.

09:42Don't worry.

09:42We scared it off.

09:44Yeah, and I'm still hungry.

09:46Lead on.

09:47She said, so, last night, Grunter says, I've got this great new idea.

10:01And I says, what's that, honey?

10:02And he says, wheel this and wheel that for the rest of the night.

10:05Wow, cool.

10:06But didn't cavemen live in caves?

10:09Sometimes, but Neanderthals were nomads.

10:11They moved with a change of the season.

10:14Oh, mana.

10:16Oh, mana, rana, ding, rana.

10:18Or to find more grub, so they built their own shelters.

10:22But it was a hard life.

10:23It wasn't always easy to find food,

10:25which might explain why some people think Neanderthals may have resorted to cannibalism.

10:31Neanderthals may have believed they could acquire strength and wisdom from eating their victims' brains.

10:48Now, that's what I call a smart drink.

10:50You don't want to eat us.

11:01We're full of preservatives, yeah.

11:03And all artificial colours and flavours from all the junk food we eat.

11:07Relax.

11:08No one really knows exactly why they removed the brains from the skulls.

11:13Maybe it was just part of some old-time burial ritual, like the Egyptians had.

11:18You fellas are off the hook, especially since Paleolithic Pig is on the menu tonight.

11:26Pork chops!

11:28I'm so hungry I could eat a rock!

11:31Yeah, but we're not going to have to, are we?

11:33No.

11:34Fortunately for you, the Neanderthals were more sophisticated than Moe.

11:38They cooked their food.

11:39How did they do that?

11:41I don't see any pots or pans.

11:43That's a good question.

11:43As you know, the Neanderthals were already well-versed with starting fires.

11:48The question is, how did they use them for cooking?

11:51Did they...

11:52A. Throw a dead animal on a bonfire and leave it to scorch until the outside and hopefully the inside was cooked.

11:58B. Stuff the meat with moss and light the moss on fire, cooking the animal from the inside out.

12:03A. Or C. Pour water into a stone trough and throw heated stones into it.

12:14A.

12:16Well, partially correct.

12:18The answer is both A and C.

12:20As you can see, here they are utilising the third method to prepare dinner.

12:24The hot rocks eventually boiled the water in the trough.

12:27That's pretty evolutionary.

12:29B. Now, while you wait for dinner, we can talk about the most evolutionary idea.

12:34The one that separated humans from beasts.

12:38B. Bob, do I think...

12:40B. I'm talking tools.

12:42B. They give people a real edge.

12:47B. Other animals use tools.

12:50B. Chimpanzees use twigs to get a quick termite snack.

12:53B. And sea otters use stones to break open oysters.

12:57B.

12:59B. But humans are the only animals who have made much of their existence dependent on tools.

13:11B. Interesting.

13:13B. Anyone else hungry?

13:16B. Right on.

13:17B. Let's eat.

13:18B.

13:19B.

13:20B.

13:21B.

13:22B.

13:23B.

13:24B. As much as they've accomplished, there are some things they haven't developed yet.

13:29B. Yeah, like table manners.

13:33B. Cooked brains.

13:35B. Toilets outside.

13:37B. Pretty much anywhere.

13:38B. And thanks for the segway.

13:39B.

13:41B.

13:42B. Modern investigators can tell what plants the Neanderthals ate by examining coproliths,

13:47the scientific name for ancient poop.

13:50A stone age man found frozen in ice had lumps of moss with them in a small pouch. He probably

14:02used this as toilet paper. And they probably used moss for tinder to start fires. And as

14:10a bandage. With all its uses, moss was the paleolithic answer to duct tape.

14:15B.

14:16B.

14:17B. You know, sometimes you tell us just a little bit more than we need to know.

14:20B. Right, Stitch?

14:21B.

14:22B. Stitch?

14:23B. Huh? Oh, now I kinda need to use the facilities. I'm gonna find the little caveman's room.

14:28B. Be right back.

14:29B.

14:30B. Hey! You again!

14:32B.

14:33B.

14:34B.

14:35B.

14:36B.

14:38B.

14:39Oh Mo, the little pest is back.

14:40C.

14:41B.

14:42B.

14:43B.

14:44B.

14:45B.

14:46B.

14:47B.

14:48B.

14:49B.

14:50B.

14:51B.

14:52B, B.

14:53B.

14:54B.

14:55B.

14:56B.

14:57B.

14:58B.

14:59B.

15:00B.

15:01B.

15:02B.

15:03I haven't seen Hyde nor hair of it.

15:06Okay, I feel much better now.

15:09Stitch, you're not going to believe this, but that ratty monkey thing belongs to our friends here.

15:19What'd they say? I didn't catch the last part.

15:22It's their pet! What did you do with it?

15:25Oh, just gave it the scare of its life so it would run away as far from here as possible.

15:30Now we've got to get it back for him.

15:32Okay, I'll put that on my to-do list.

15:42Don't these guys have to get up and go to work?

15:45Early humans only had to spend a small part of the day working.

15:49But what did they do with all that leisure time if there weren't any sports or theme parks or video games?

15:55You were looking at it.

15:56Hey, Moe, we just discovered the world's first rock band.

16:06Yeah, cool! All they need is a bass guitar and some rockin' amps.

16:17Hey, they just trashed their instruments.

16:20Sorry, but too many belongings were a burden in nomadic life.

16:23Think if you had to hump around your TV with you, you might not want it anymore.

16:31So where are they going?

16:33For takeaway.

16:35Lunch!

16:39Stitch, do you think it'd be okay to invite ourselves?

16:42Sure, as long as we're not on the menu anymore.

16:45Whoa, they're hunting for woolly mammoths.

16:54Uh, you go. We'll stay here and be lookouts.

16:57Lookout for what?

16:58For ourselves. You don't want to end up like road pizza, do you?

17:03What chance do neanderthals have against those things?

17:07Hey, look.

17:08They're using smoke to drive the herd.

17:10Hey, that's pretty smoke.

17:21What do you think they'll do now?

17:23Oh, probably just stampede them into the funnel of stones they arranged

17:26and drive them off that cliff.

17:30Ah!

17:33Ah!

17:34Ah!

17:39Ah!

17:40Ah!

17:48Phew!

17:49That was quick thinking.

17:50Hehehehe.

17:52Hehehe.

17:53Me too.

17:53Wanna yub yub.

17:55Yer bin wanna harba.

17:57Hehehe.

17:58They're saying you must be less evolved

18:00if you can't get out of the way of stampeding mammoths.

18:05Wow.

18:06You're starting to sound like Dongle.

18:08Yeah, but Dongle would have never saved us.

18:13Do you think mammoths are rare in this day and night?

18:16Depends on how you cook them.

18:18Oh, come on.

18:21This is comedy gold, people.

18:23Kon-kana-wala-yama.

18:24They saved the best part for you, the brains.

18:30Where do you think they're taking us?

18:32I don't know, but I don't like the smirks in their faces.

18:34Oh, where are we?

18:35Bada-san-kana-mana.

18:38Come on.

18:39We're going to make history.

18:45Where are you?

18:46I feel a damp opening.

18:48A minute.

18:49You got your hands in my mouth.

18:53Look at these.

18:55They're telling stories.

18:56Cool.

18:57Looks like a Neanderthal Arts and Crafts class.

19:00Hey, that's you.

19:01And that's you.

19:02They're like primitive artists.

19:04Look.

19:05They're using ground-up colored rocks for paint and animal hair brushes.

19:10To depict great hunts and not-so-brave warriors.

19:13Around 1940, near where we are in France, four teenagers were rescuing their dog who had fallen

19:23down a hole and made a fantastic discovery.

19:28One of the greatest cave art displays of all time.

19:33The Lascaux Caves had about 15,000 engravings and 600 paintings, including bulls, five meters

19:40long.

19:43I'm getting hungry again.

19:52Mammoth thunk?

19:54Ew!

19:55No way I'm eating that.

19:58Smells like fertilizer.

20:00But wait.

20:01Couldn't that mean Neanderthals learn to cultivate crops and domesticate animals for work and food

20:06and stuff like that?

20:07Wow!

20:08That means they really are smart.

20:10I'm afraid you're giving them a little too much credit.

20:12All that's going to have to wait until Cro-Magnon people figure it out in about 25,000 years.

20:17So what happens to the Neanderthals?

20:19The Last Ice Age, Neanderthals will become extinct.

20:22Well, almost extinct.

20:24A few may have married Cro-Magnons, so there's still a little Neanderthal in some of us.

20:29That's cool.

20:29A little bit of Neanderthal man might be in each of us.

20:34It's a ratty monkey thing!

20:36And he's trapped by a slobbering ratty tiger thing!

20:42What are we going to do?

20:43Let's think like a couple of Neanderthals!

20:45What's going to do?

21:02What's going to do?

21:04What's going to happen?

21:06And who said you can't teach a couple of modern, highly advanced homo sapiens new tricks?

21:35Uh-oh, I feel an ice age coming on.

21:40I hope you've discovered that's a good thing.

21:44Sure have.

21:45We got it!

21:47Then my work is done.

21:54Hey, Darren! Thanks for the compliment.

21:57What are you talking about?

21:59Oh, calling us Neanderthals. Neanderthals are major contributors to our evolutionary chain.

22:05And use their larger-than-yours brains to outthink every other creature on the planet.

22:10Communicated using sign language.

22:12Make awesome time-saving tools out of rocks.

22:16And even figured out a way to boil water with them.

22:18Neanderthals ruled the Stone Age.

22:21So, what have you contributed to civilization today, Darren?

22:25So, what have you been doing?

22:31Falzon

22:44The trouble with being a kid today is you grow up too quickly, there's just not enough

23:07time. Well, for some kids that is. Where are we this time? Horrible Histories! Wow! Horrible Histories! Who would do that? A smart, hungry caveman. Good idea. Have any of you seen a girl about so tall, big, cartoony eyes? Oh, you gotta go. You gotta go. And Wes, get a car

23:37and find him anyway. Wow! Socrates rocks! Is that the Spanish Armada? Horrible Histories! Horrible Histories! Horrible Histories! Well, Mo, what do you think about all this cool old stuff? We're history!

24:01This is a definite win-win! School's cancelled and look at all this snow to play in!

24:21Hey, where did all that come from? Ow! From the king and his castle! You had better build yourself a castle. If you're not a sitting king, you're a sitting duck! Quack, quack!

24:36Woohoo! Stitch! I say we crown King Dongle! No way, Mo. As long as he's in that fortress, he can blast us all day long. Let's go home.

24:47Giving up so easily? Why not just build your own fortress? With what? Dongle's got an electric generator, snowblowers and a snow cannon! And we got mittens! And an extra stick of gum!

25:00Well, it's a start. The world's most impressive structures were created with the most rudimentary things. All it took was a little ingenuity and organization. And let me guess...

25:10We're gonna get sucked through time right about now! And you'll be better off because of it!

25:15Man! I'm not dressed like a man! What's up with this? Where are we?

25:34Good old Amarna, Egypt, 1335 BCE. When the Egyptians told time with sundials and the first harp was made and played.

25:43Yeah, but they haven't gotten around to making pants.

25:46Oh, no, no!

25:48But, Your Highness, I see nothing wrong with my plans.

25:52Amen-Ramen, the idea is to enjoy this party. If I used those plans, it would be boring.

25:58And you, why are you two not bowing before me?

26:03Easy, you're just a kid!

26:05I am Tooth and Common, the king!

26:08Right, and I'm Sheena, Queen of the Nile.

26:12Ah, forget that. I was just kidding.

26:19Well, I am not kidding!

26:21Tooth and Common.

26:23Stitch! This is the King Tut!

26:26Yeah, the kid who had the tomb with all the great stuff in it.

26:29Right you are, Stitch. Tooth and Common's the ten-year-old ruler over all of Egypt. Better bow.

26:35Sorry for the misunderstanding, Your Highness.

26:39We're just here to find out how you guys do things without advanced technology.

26:42Er, I mean, big tools and stuff.

26:45Why would slaves need to know such things?

26:48Hey, easy with that talk! We're not slaves!

26:52Of course you are, or you'd be wearing wigs. Take mine for instance. This is the wig of my father, the great Akhenaten, the king of Upper and Lower Egypt.

27:07Good hands!

27:09I know what it's like to have a bad hair day. Let me fix that for you.

27:14By the snout of Tefnot, you slaves are quick-footed and clever.

27:26How would you like to earn your freedom?

27:29Would we get lunch too?

27:31Be my chief advisors and plan a party. The celebration of the arrival of flood season!

27:36You potty for a flood?

27:39Wouldn't there be a lot of death and destruction with that?

27:42No, no! The Nile River's annual flood makes our fields fertile and helps feed my empire.

27:48It's the most important event of the year!

27:51If it's a theme party, we could all wear life preservers.

27:54Thanks, but no thanks.

27:56Why don't you go for it? You'll get to see the sights, and besides, it's the least you can do for Tootin' Common.

28:01This poor kid isn't going to be around in another eight years.

28:04Say what?

28:06Er, never mind.

28:08Okay, we'll do it.

28:10Great! If I left it to my chief advisor, Aman-Raman, this party would be as much fun as a locust infestation.

28:17I want a party that's fun for kids like us.

28:20Replace me with slaves, will he? I must dispose of them.

28:25Take this cartouche, my seal. It will allow you to buy anything you need to make my party a success.

28:32Awesome! An ancient credit card!

28:35I will give you until the jackals come down from the hills tomorrow evening. Don't disappoint me!

28:42How can you tell which end is up with all this chicken scratch?

28:46Here. Those are hieroglyphics. The Egyptians used pictures instead of letters in their alphabet.

28:51I think that one's the Ankh in Toot Ankh Amen.

28:55Right you are, Stitch. 5,000 years ago, the Egyptians wrote with over 600 picture signs or hieroglyphs.

29:03Nobody could figure out what the picture characters meant until the discovery of the Rosetta Stone in 1799.

29:12This stone told the same story in three different alphabets.

29:16Greek, official Egyptian and everyday Egyptian hieroglyphics.

29:20By comparing the three, the mystery of the pictures was solved and the language decoded.

29:25This vulture stood for the letter A. And this viper represented the letter F.

29:31Ahmed, how many times have I told you? I before eagle except after seagull.

29:36Sheesh!

29:38Everyone says our best bet for a party location is up river.

29:42But how are we supposed to get there?

29:44Ruffy's Nile Toads. Reasonable prices. After your service.

29:48What luck!

29:49This is gonna be easy.

29:50Take us somewhere we could throw a big party.

29:51Of course there's no object.

29:52I know the perfect place.

29:53This is Hatshepsut's temple. Isn't it magnificent?

30:10So, how many bulldozers do you think it took to build this place?

30:15Not one bulldozed on this job. They were too busy hauling the huge stones.

30:20If they throw the party here, the king will put their heads in olive oil jars. Just wait and see.

30:28Welp, I'm sold.

30:30I don't know, Mo. Something about this place gives me the creeps.

30:35Oh, it's just the lousy music those guys are playing.

30:38Say, Palio, that tune is a tad grim. How about playing something loud and upbeat?

30:48Not here, Sahib. Osiris would curse you for a hundred generations.

30:53Sounds cranky.

30:55But what if we just talk to this Osiris guy?

30:58Impossible. He is the god of the underworld. This place is sacred. It is a mortuary.

31:04Come again? It is a mortuary.

31:08Oh, yeah. Osiris was the Egyptian god who rules over the dead.

31:13You mean this is a...graveyard?

31:16Oh, yes. Hatshepsut, the first woman to be made pharaoh, is buried within.

31:22Ew. We can't throw a party in a graveyard.

31:27Tough one freak! Come on, Stitch, we're out of here.

31:31Any other ideas, Raffy?

31:33Well, that is always the temple of Tarnak. No one is buried there and it is just across...

31:39the river.

31:41Man! It's still hot!

31:47Why don't you dangle your feet in the river? It's just a thing for beating the heat.

31:56Hey, yeah!

31:57Great idea!

31:59Today's blue plate special, Pato Child a la Hippo Puffles.

32:06Switch!

32:15Switch!

32:17Switch!

32:21No, no, no! Look, foolish children. You dip for a long time. Not short dips. Long dips, you see? My sweat is...

32:35Don't worry, Raffy. We'll get help.

32:40I've seen worse.

32:43Good thing you brought him in when you did. We wouldn't want that to fester.

32:48Raffy, we'll check in to see how you're doing once you've found a spot for the party.

32:52And we've still got to find out how to build a fortress better than Dongle. Right, Moe?

32:56Moe?

32:57I hope we did the right thing for Raffy. What kind of treatment do you think he'll get?

33:02Come on, Moe. It's 1335 BCE. He'll be lucky to get a few spells and a dash of mumbo jumbo.

33:09Wrong, Stitch!

33:10Egypt has already been a thriving civilization for 2,000 years, and in that time they've developed an impressive body of medical knowledge.

33:17If an Egyptian doctor fried a catfish head in oil and applied the hot, greasy gunk to the affected area on your body, what would you be suffering from?

33:29A. Chronic constipation. B. Migraine headache. Or C. Chapped lips.

33:35If you guessed B. Migraine headache, congratulations! You're on your way to practicing medicine in Ancient Egypt.

33:42Some of their cures might sound weird, but doctors in Ancient Egypt really knew their stuff.

33:47They used sutures for wounds, splints for broken bones, and even mapped the human circulatory system.

33:54Okay, I feel much better.

33:58Check it out! The Temple of Karanak!

34:01With its grand hall and 134 pillars, this temple is the largest building with pillars and hallways ever constructed.

34:09Looks like plenty of room for party guests!

34:12You got that right! See those pillars? Each one weighs more than an Indian elephant.

34:18They stand seven elephants high and two elephants across, and a hundred people could stand on top of each one.

34:27Yeah, but there won't be enough room for all of them to dance!

34:31The point is, this massive structure was built without cranes, motors, hydraulics, electricity or even iron tools.

34:39Okay, this we need to know. Without fancy equipment, how'd they build this place?

34:47See for yourselves!

34:50Wow! Look at all the workers!

34:54Check it out, Mo! They're using a lever and fulcrum.

34:58What the Egyptians lacked in technology, they made up for was manpower and ingenuity.

35:04Uh, person power and ingenuity?

35:06So if you don't have the tools...

35:10You just get more help!

35:15So, where'd they get all these workers?

35:19They're actually slaves. They were housed by the government and were paid for their labour in food.

35:25We can't throw the party here! It's not finished yet!

35:28But maybe that guy feeding the workers could cater it!

35:38Raffi, what are you doing here? You should be in bed!

35:42You don't say!

35:45So, what can you do for us in our party, Hakim?

35:51Please, not so loud! I have a headache the size of the Sphinx!

35:58Hakim serves nothing but the best for flawed celebrations! Everybody eats this stuff and no one gets sick!

36:04I tried preparing something nice for Amon Ramen, the King's wicked advisor, but he spit on my shoes and laughed in my face!

36:13Sounds like a creep!

36:15OK, so we've got lettuce, onions, leeks and cucumbers...

36:19And figs for dessert!

36:20And you must not forget the local favourite, yummy fried dormouse!

36:27Gross!

36:30What about real meat?

36:32Meat? Beef and mutton is only for royalty!

36:36Good! Add enough steaks to feed, oh, say a thousand.

36:40How do ye slave children expect to pay for all this?

36:44Cottage Blanche!

36:46For the King himself?

36:48I'll rat you up a bill right away!

36:52And one more thing, are there any good party locations around here?

36:55Hmm, everyone is talking about the Temple of Luxor!

36:59Thanks, Hakim! We'll let you know where to deliver the food!

37:04You coming, Ralphie?

37:06Ah, that is better!

37:11I think we've found our party spot, Stitch!

37:13Good choice! The Temple of Luxor here in Thebes is the religious centre of the Empire!

37:20This should be enough room for me to show off my dance moves!

37:25Enjoy it while you can, my innocent friends!

37:31Soon the party will be over! For you!

37:34Yep! This is the perfect place to spread out the dinner!

37:37And there is your dinner, Mike!

37:41Sorry, Mo, we can't put the food here!

37:43Why not?

37:44What's the carving there on the wall?

37:45I'm pretty sure that's the god of...

37:47Ugh! Regurgitation!

37:49Stitch!

37:50Just be grateful I didn't munch on the fried Dormouse!

37:56So...

37:58The drinks will go here, and the veggies sit over there!

38:00Yes!

38:01Yes!

38:02Yes!

38:03Yes!

38:04Bind them!

38:05Bind them!

38:14Rafi!

38:15You saved us!

38:16What the hell was that?!

38:17That's gotta really hurt!

38:33Your friend is lucky it was a very old cobra. Not much poison.

38:37Poor Rafi's got so many bandages, he looks like a mummy!

38:41With one very important distinction, he's still alive!

38:47The ancient Egyptians believed that when someone died, their souls survived.

38:53And in order to pass into the afterlife, the body needed to be kept in good shape to make the journey.

38:58So, the internal organs were removed and placed in special containers called canopic jars to lock in freshness.

39:05His brain was removed too, but it was tossed away or fed to the animals.

39:18The brain, after all, wasn't thought to be a very useful organ.

39:22The body was then dried, coated with resins, and later wrapped in hundreds of yards of linen.

39:27Use some extra guards in case your clumsy friend has any more accidents.

39:40Rafi, we're all set for the big party!

39:43Thanks to you, we're gonna look like a big success to the king!

39:47No! It isn't possible! I mean, it isn't possible without games!

39:54Games? What about games?

39:58In Tutankhamen's day, kids in Egypt played marbles using pieces of stone or marble from construction sites.

40:04If they couldn't find anything else, they used fruit pips.

40:09It just would not be a real party without games!

40:13But we're out of time! What'll we do?

40:16Oh, allow me to... Help you!

40:20No, no, no, Rafi! You've already done too much!

40:24Nonsense! I'll take you to a place where there are lots of games!

40:28The biggest selection of games for the afterlife is right in there!

40:35The Pyramid of Khufu!

40:38That's the Great Pyramid!

40:40We're going inside? Heavy!

40:43Yep! About six million tons heavy!

40:47Positioned behind the Sphinx, at 756 feet square and 481 feet high,

40:52the Great Pyramid of Khufu is the largest solid stone structure in the world.

40:56There is so much stone here, it's been estimated that if you cut it all into two and a half inch rods,

41:03you'd have enough to reach the moon!

41:09Look, that's a UFO!

41:15Assuming it stayed balanced.

41:16According to Greek historian Herodotus, it took 400,000 men 20 years to build this colossal tomb,

41:26a tomb laced with secret passageways, dead ends and deadly traps.

41:29But after all that time and energy, it didn't take nearly as long for tomb thieves to find passages to crawl inside and remove all the treasures.

41:44Aren't we sort of doing the same thing?

41:51What do you mean?

41:52We're raiding a tomb to remove its treasures!

41:54So very absurd.

41:55And like many tomb raiders, you have just walked into... a trap!

42:02Whoa!

42:03Raffi!

42:04Raffi!

42:05What's the matter?

42:06We were gonna give you a big tip!

42:07Mwahahahaha!

42:08Not rats!

42:10I am Amen Ramen!

42:13King Tot's Wicked Advisor!

42:16Oh yeah?

42:17I gotta tell ya, your advice really stinks, buddy!

42:20Hehehehehe!

42:22Mwahahahaha!

42:23When I take credit for all your work on this party, I'll return to Tot's favour while you spend all eternity in a tomb!

42:32Hehehehehe!

42:34Stitch!

42:35What are we gonna do?

42:36We could starve in here!

42:38Maybe not!

42:39I think there's some kind of jammer jelly in here!

42:41Actually, that's a canopic jar containing a dead pharaoh's internal organs.

42:47Eww!

42:48Stitch!

42:49Let's start looking for an escape tunnel, ok?

42:58I think we found one!

42:59Eww!

43:00Eww!

43:01Eww!

43:02Eww!

43:03Eww!

43:04Eww!

43:05Eww!

43:06Eww!

43:07Eww!

43:08Eww!

43:09Eww!

43:10Eww!

43:11Eww!

43:12Eww!

43:13Eww!

43:14Eww!

43:15Eww!

43:16Eww!

43:17Eww!

43:18Look! It's him!

43:24The weasel!

43:30What's the plan?

43:32Goals!

43:35Ramen, ramen...

43:37You! You're dead! What do you want of me?

43:42Revenge for sticking us in a tomb!

43:45Oh! Well, I guess that's all wrapped up.

43:59Slave Stitch! Slave Moe! I am so pleased with the party that I will grant you your freedom!

44:06Thanks, Your Highness!

44:08Oh, and you must meet my wife!

44:11Wife?

44:11Yep! Young marriages were quite common in 1335 BCE.

44:17Uncas and Pommen! These are my glorious party planners!

44:20Ooh! I just love the new game, Pin the Brain and the Mummy! It is the best!

44:25Yeah! Silly, but cerebral!

44:28In the ultimate land of monuments, I think we just pulled off a monumental task.

44:32And now we know how these people built these monuments using only the most basic tools and a little ingenuity.

44:43Here we come, Dongle!

44:47Woohoo! Lone live King Dongle!

44:51Come on! We can now do Dongle!

44:54Yeah! Just takes a little ingenuity!

44:57And a lot of manpower!

44:59Uh-uh! Person!

45:00Correction! Person power!

45:12Ready! Aim!

45:15Fire!

45:15How dare you! This really stinks, you know!

45:26Ah-ah-ah! Correction! It really...

45:29Don't say it, Maul.

45:30Sphinx!

45:31Ha-ha-ha!

45:32Ha-ha-ha!

45:32Ha-ha!

45:33Sphinx!

45:33You're welcome!

45:34Macho colocar!

45:40There's a very natural pose recombwa!

45:46Hello...

45:54This is Snow jumpy!

45:57This is a very Sz Insicc.

45:58For more information, visit www.fema.org

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