Horrible Histories 2001 Episode 17-18 Magnificent

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Transcript

00:01The trouble with being a kid today is you grow up too quickly.

00:04There's just not enough time.

00:06Well, for some kids, that is.

00:13Where are we this time?

00:15Horrible Histories!

00:17Wow!

00:18Horrible Histories!

00:21Who would do that?

00:23A smart, hungry caveman. Good idea!

00:26Have any of you seen a girl about so tall or big?

00:30Cartoon-y eyes?

00:31Oh, you gotta go.

00:32You gotta go.

00:33And where's Stater? I can't find him anyway.

00:36Wow! Socrates rocks!

00:39Is that the Spanish Armada?

00:42Horrible Histories!

00:45Horrible Histories!

00:48Horrible Histories!

00:51Well, Mo, what do you think about all this cool old stuff?

00:56We're history!

00:59What do you think about all that cool stuff here?

01:01Yes, I'm not sure about the many of the guns at home.

01:03And we're gonna get used to be in one area.

01:04And we're gonna get used to be in a strange place.

01:05And we're gonna get used to be in a strange place for a kid.

01:06Yeah, our hands must have slipped.

01:31Hey, it's no problem.

01:36That'll be an extra surcharge for paintballing one of the staff.

01:42Staff?

01:44Yes.

01:45Uncle Dorian Dongle owns this paintball park, and he's left me in charge.

01:51What say we go to Troutland and feed the fish?

01:54Nah, I've got a coupon for a paintball game, and I'm staying.

01:58But only if you rent officially sanctioned Dongle Paintball gear.

02:08Oh, and there's a $20 security deposit for anyone under 18.

02:12And if you play for over an hour, it'll cost double per quarter hour, rounded into the nearest half hour, of course.

02:18And any damage done to property or staff will be deducted from your deposit.

02:23Questions?

02:24Does your uncle really acknowledge you as a blood relative?

02:27And, oh yes, when you return your paintball launchers, there's another charge for inspecting them for damage.

02:36Have fun!

02:37Woo-hoo!

02:37Oh, why does Double D always think he can tell us what to do?

02:49Easy, Moe.

02:50Maybe it's not so black and white, and there's a good reason for Dongle's rules.

02:55Yeah, right.

02:56Brazilian leeches don't suck much.

02:59Look, what about a little trip back in time to show you how there can be two sides to every story?

03:04What's happening?

03:10We did the top!

03:14Alright, where are we?

03:18It's 1773, and you're in Boston, Massachusetts, on the eve of the American Revolution.

03:24Moe, where are you, Moe?

03:26You see, I told you I heard someone whispering.

03:29Peyton, this is a secret meeting. We've all been whispering.

03:36Oh. Well, that's alright then.

03:39Uh, have any of you seen a girl about so tall, big, cartoony eyes?

03:45No, it's just you and we colonists, and welcome you are.

03:49We're going to show the British they can't tell us what to do anymore.

03:53Patrick's right.

03:55Who puked their guts out crossing the ocean to build homes and barb his colonies?

04:00We did!

04:01And who was cat-poking his royal nose in our business?

04:05He has!

04:06Hey, I bet you'd be pretty good at paintball.

04:17Peyton's a chicken farmer, not a painter.

04:20We showed King George just how we felt about his greedy stamp act.

04:26Stamp act?

04:27They're talking about the stamp tax.

04:30To raise money through taxes, Britain made the colonists buy stamps for every single itsy-bitsy piece of printed paper they used.

04:40It was a guaranteed way to raise cash, since stamps had to be bought for newspapers, all documents, even playing cards.

04:49To protest, the colonists stopped buying all British goods, and that really bothered the king.

04:54Psst!

04:57This is all very interesting, but shouldn't we be looking for Moe?

05:00Don't worry about her. Worry about yourself.

05:03Hey, did you hear what we did to the king's stamp agent?

05:08Peyton supplied the feathers. I brought the tar.

05:12Now maybe Britain will leave the colonies alone.

05:18I know I'm supposed to be with the British, but where's Stitch? I can't find him anywhere.

05:24Don't worry about Stitch. Worry about yourself.

05:27Boat! Oh, careful, not so rough.

05:30Are we going to be a big cranky-pants about a few sticky feathers or what?

05:34Those blasted Americans won't get away with this.

05:37Ow!

05:39Right, you are, smithens.

05:40They're a disgrace to the mother country.

05:43To the king!

05:44To the king!

05:45To the king!

05:46To the king!

05:47To the king!

05:47See here, soldier. We're declaring our unflagging support for the crown.

05:52Uh, yeah, right! To the king!

05:55They're as much British citizens as we are, what?

06:00Here! Here!

06:01Baa!

06:02Baa!

06:03Why be an American when you can be British?

06:06Baa!

06:07Baa!

06:08And since British citizens in England have to pay taxes, so should the colonists!

06:13We did protect them during the Seven Years' War, what?

06:17Quite cashly conflict, Mac.

06:19Rather ungrateful, wouldn't you say?

06:22Yes, Moe so.

06:24They should be thanking us, not refusing to pay our wages. It's only right.

06:30Yes, Moe. Just as with Dongle, it was purely business for Britain.

06:34They thought they were right to get as much money from their colonies as possible.

06:37And I always thought King George was just greedy.

06:40But the colonists had privileges as British citizens, so they should pay taxes like everyone else.

06:46Yes, and when they didn't, King George got, well, mighty teed off.

06:55Majesty, it seems that the colonists have refused paying taxes on lead, glass, paper and paint.

07:03Yes, rather inconvenient.

07:05Hmm, this Darjeeling blend is superb.

07:09Sire, there must be something they can't refuse to buy.

07:14Pockets?

07:15No.

07:16Bath powder?

07:17No.

07:18Stiff upper lips?

07:20No.

07:21I've got it.

07:23The Tea Watch?

07:25The Tea Watch?

07:27Oh, well, jolly good scheme of his majesty. Taxes on Tea Watch?

07:33What?

07:34I've got a fine stitch.

07:43All right, colonists. They'll never recognize us. Let's dump some tea.

07:48All 13 colonies are proud of you men. Tonight, we send a message straight to King George that he can't tell us how to spend our money or tax our tea any longer.

07:58But our little group needs a name. Something that will go down in history.

08:04I know. I know. The X-Men.

08:08It's just come to me. The Sons of Liberty. To the ships, men!

08:13Oh!

08:14I guess Boston's gonna have a real tea party.

08:18Oh!

08:23Oh!

08:24Oh!

08:25Oh!

08:26Oh!

08:27Dr. T! Dr. T! Dr. T!

08:30Dr. T!

08:32So where's the sugar?

08:33Ow!

08:40Ah, one if by land, and two if by the wooded glen.

08:43No, no.

08:47Hey, I'm really sorry, pal.

08:48It was but an accident.

08:49Tell me, if you were sending a secret message using lanterns, what's better?

08:53One if by land, two if by the beach, or maybe three if by the river, or a really small body of water.

09:00Hey, you're Paul Revere. The guy who would sound the alarm if the British ever did a sneak attack.

09:04You have heard of me!

09:07Surrender, you rebellious rapscallions!

09:11Dump the tea!

09:12Dump the tea!

09:13Dump the tea!

09:14Dump the tea!

09:22I always knew bowling lessons would come in handy.

09:25In the name of his majesty, stand fast!

09:34I thought we were supposed to be on the same side!

09:36Move, and you will be pierced, peasant.

09:40Hey Mo, where have you been?

09:41And isn't your costume all wrong?

09:43Ha ha!

09:44Trying to distract me, eh?

09:46Oh look, it's King George's bed!

09:49Go on, save the king!

10:04Jolly heroic that was!

10:06Sacrificing yourself to save the Union Jack!

10:18Then look at all the senseless destruction of his majesty's property!

10:24These Americans are so uncivilized!

10:28Why is everyone so bad about a little soggy tea?

10:31Oh, I have to hear this sort of thing!

10:33You'll be daft!

10:35Hey, no offense, I'm a coffee drinker myself.

10:38Believe me, Stitch, the Boston Tea Party cost the British dearly.

10:42In today's currency, the Americans destroyed almost three million dollars' worth of property.

10:50The king was now so furious, he ordered that Boston Harbor be closed to all shipping until every last tea leaf was paid for.

11:03On the other hand, the Boston Tea Party helped unite the colonies against the British.

11:10They supported Boston by sending them encouragement and supplies.

11:14Connecticut sent money, South Carolina sent rice, New York sent sheep, and California sent surfboards.

11:21Not really, just kidding, just seeing if you were paying attention.

11:26Virginia set aside a day to pray for Boston, and during that time of prayer, Virginians gathered and started talking about independence.

11:34Oh, I see, Britain really did have a reason to be upset, but so did the Americans.

11:42But the colonists haven't seen the last of us, right, chaps?

11:46You'll make a fine revolutionary soldier.

11:51Yes, yes, splendid idea disguising yourself as a British soldier, young man.

11:56Ho, ho, ho, ho! Believe me, there's more to my disguise than a, ah, ah, ah, me to the eye.

12:04Join us, we're forming our own army!

12:07Hey, psst, can you get me out of this?

12:10Why, you're doing a great job of taking care of yourself.

12:14Yeah, maybe I can show them what a real woman can do.

12:19Why not? There were lots of women who helped fight during the Revolutionary War. Women like Mary Hayes.

12:24Can you believe this performance, ladies and gentlemen?

12:31It's the Battle of Mom, and Mary Hayes is dodging shells to carry water to thirsty American soldiers.

12:43Molly Pitcher, as she is called, even helps a gun crew fire their cannon.

12:47Hold on to your tri-cornered hats, folks.

12:53During the battle, a cannonball shot through her legs and actually ripped away her petticoat.

12:58Deborah Sampson called herself Robert Berkland, and successfully disguised herself as a man.

13:05As a man, she had to confess all when she came down with a fever, and a military doctor uncovered her secret.

13:13And shot Minutemen!

13:23Those muskets are your new weapons, and this is your target.

13:31Johnson, would you please wait a minute?

13:34Yeah, Johnson, remember Minutemen?

13:39As I was saying, these are the finest firing arms available today.

13:45Even the British use them.

13:47They're as worthless as a British tea cozy. Not near as good as my rifle.

13:51As I was saying!

13:54Ready, aim, and fire!

14:14Wow, that's messed up. Someone could really get hurt with that thing.

14:17Right, Moe. Even though muskets were given to the American soldiers, many farmers and frontiersmen used their own rifles in the war.

14:28Muskets and rifles looked alike, but the grooving inside the barrel of a rifle made a bullet fly straighter.

14:36Sharpshooters were picking off so many British soldiers, that back in England, rumours spread that the war actually had a curse on it.

14:44And many British soldiers refused to fight.

14:49Listen up, men! As you know, we have stockpiled cannonballs and gunpowder in Concord.

14:55We must be ready if the British move against us.

14:57So we march there! To Concord!

15:01Huzzah!

15:05I wonder how Moe is doing.

15:07About face! Listen up, chaps!

15:09As you know, the Crown has just about had it with these sniveling colonists.

15:16Yes, sir!

15:18The Crown gives them land and supplies, and even defends them.

15:23They enjoy the lowest taxes in the whole Western world and then act like spoiled children, don't they?

15:32Yes, sir!

15:34Hmm, the Americans had it pretty good, huh?

15:37So it's up to us to teach these winding up stars a lesson, right?

15:41Yes, sir!

15:43Yes, sir!

15:44There are rumours that the colonists have stored weapons in Concord, a town near Boston.

15:50Maybe that's where Moe is.

15:52We must seize these illegal weapons and arrest their leaders!

15:56Are you with me, men?

15:57Yes, sir!

15:58All the way, pal!

16:00I'm coming, Moe.

16:06I finally got it!

16:09It's one if by land, and two if by sea!

16:13And that means the British are coming, boys!

16:15I'm coming, boys!

16:16I'm coming!

16:45Moe!

16:48No!

16:49No!

16:50No!

17:12Let's go!

17:13Wait, wait, wait. We're not going to hug, are we?

17:31Nope, not necessary. I just enjoy running in slow motion.

17:35Fire!

17:36Well, that was it.

17:37The shot hurried around the world that started the Revolutionary War of Independence.

17:50Couldn't I just talk it through?

17:52The time for talking has passed. One of the next big battles was at Bunker and Breed's Hill.

18:06What's this thing?

18:07Hadn't they heard there were proper rules for battle?

18:11Britain eventually won the Battle of Bunker Hill, and the fighting continued for a full year after Concord.

18:19And on July the 4th, 1776, the 13 colonies united to sign the Declaration of Independence.

18:27I remember this. The fighting went on a full year.

18:42The British and colonists traded victories and defeats.

18:45Each side slammed the other pretty hard, and at one point, the spunky colonists really wanted to rub it in with the British.

18:49Therefore, we declare that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent states.

19:06Oh, that must have really fried King George.

19:14Deep fried.

19:16He wasn't about to lose control over his colonies, especially to that other George, George Washington.

19:22The Declaration was a high moment.

19:24But then the British captured New York City, and then it was all burned down.

19:29After several more campaigns, it all ended at Yorktown, when Washington confronted General Cornwallis.

19:39It's beyond me how those untrained farmers think they stand a chance against the British army.

19:50You two, bring me my sword and hat.

19:55They don't even fight by the proper rules of engagement.

19:58Take this George Washington chap, the way he attacked Trenton in the middle of the night.

20:03Simply not cricket.

20:05But now, he faces Cornwallis.

20:13I'll take that smirk off your face, Washington.

20:17Beg pardon, General?

20:20Not now, soldier.

20:21I'm about to turn the tide of this bloody war.

20:25The French fleet is directly behind us.

20:30Well, what do they want?

20:32They've sided with the colonists, I'm afraid.

20:34We're surrounded, sir.

20:36Well, then I suppose we must surrender, what?

20:42Man, is the king going to be really mad now, or what?

20:45More than mad, Stitch.

20:47George was so embarrassed when Britain lost the war, he almost gave up his job as king.

20:51I say, anyone have a white flag of surrender handy?

20:57And although they lost to him, when George Washington died in 1793, they had so much respect for him, the British navy honoured him with a 21-gun salute.

21:07Can you help?

21:09Any old white cloth will do.

21:14Want to carry it?

21:15No thanks.

21:17No thanks.

21:18Some of us have this thing about hygiene.

21:22So the Americans really were justified to want their independence.

21:26But I see the British side, too.

21:28We just got more than we bargained for when we went to war.

21:31Too bad they didn't just talk about it instead of ending up shooting at each other.

21:35Just like the dongle.

21:38Finally.

21:39Let's get you out of here.

21:48Hey, dongle.

21:49We were wrong.

21:51Yeah, let's go over your rules again before we have...

21:54Out-and-out warfare.

21:57Tell me to someone else.

21:59I don't work here anymore.

22:01Huh?

22:01My uncle fired me since I was chasing all his customers away.

22:05Didn't give you a chance to tell your side of the story, huh?

22:09How'd you know?

22:11Believe me, we've been there.

22:14Well, we learned a lesson.

22:17And dongle got what he deserved.

22:19Celebrate with a spot of tea, Moe.

22:21Lovely.

22:22Lovely.

22:35The trouble with being a kid today is you grow up too quickly.

23:05There's just not enough time.

23:08Well, for some kids, that is.

23:15Where are we this time?

23:16Horrible histories.

23:18Wow!

23:20Horrible histories.

23:23Who would do that?

23:25A smart, hungry caveman.

23:27Good idea.

23:28Have any of you seen a girl about so tall, big, cartoony eyes?

23:32Oh, and you gotta go.

23:34You gotta go.

23:35And where's Stedric?

23:36I can't find him anyway.

23:38Wow!

23:39Socrates rocks!

23:41Is that the Spanish Armada?

23:44Horrible histories.

23:47Horrible histories.

23:50Horrible histories.

23:52Well, Moe, what do you think about all this cool old stuff?

23:58We're history!

23:59We're history!

24:00Hey, check it out, folks.

24:15Sample donuts here.

24:17Sample donuts.

24:18Incredibly small, puny donut samples.

24:22Well, well, well, I see your mother is finally letting you dress yourself these days, Stitch.

24:30Darren Dongle.

24:32Oh, that's right.

24:34Your daddy's the donut king.

24:37Nice lineage.

24:39At least our ancestors are cold-blooded reptiles, Dongle.

24:44I'll have you know that I'm related to a gaggle of rich and famous people.

24:49I just finished my genealogy report for class.

24:54Oh, man, I'm dead.

25:00What do you have to complain about, Stitch?

25:02Except for maybe the hole in your stomach?

25:05Oh, no, I totally forgot about my genealogy report.

25:08It's due tomorrow.

25:10Didn't your dad say he had a box of old family stuff in his office?

25:15Sweet chocolate glaze.

25:17It's my family tree.

25:19There's my dad and Augustus Jr. and Grandpa Auggie.

25:23There's a piece missing, but...

25:24Look here!

25:27Louis, Peter, and Jahan.

25:30There's something familiar about those names.

25:33Maybe like Louis of France and Peter the Great?

25:37And wasn't Jahan a Shah?

25:39They're all kings!

25:41They're all kings!

25:42That means I'm related to a bunch of kings!

25:46I could be the king of a donut king and hand out super big donuts if I so ruled.

25:53Slow down there, Your Majesty.

25:55There might be consequences for having such grand visions.

25:59Grand?

26:00I haven't even got warmed up yet.

26:01Right, so, Mr. Majestic, let's drop in on your so-called relatives and see.

26:06Boy, it's tight and stuffy in here.

26:23Yeah, and you're not even wearing a corset.

26:26Where are we?

26:26It's 1710, and you've landed at the Palace of Versailles recently built by King Louis XIV.

26:36I know about Versailles.

26:38An incredible palace worthy of my great, great, great, great, great...

26:42Thanks, great-grandpa Louis.

26:44Allo?

26:46Er, Stitch, I heard a voice come out of your rear end.

26:50The king's palace is tight for space, but...

26:53There is no need for us nobles to sit on top of one another.

26:59Sorry, man.

27:00Mo, this view is killer.

27:06No, please don't!

27:12I'm spinning.

27:13We are beside the palace latrines.

27:21King Louis intentionally put the outdoor toilet facilities near the rooms of his less-favoured guests.

27:28Hmm.

27:28Some host.

27:30King, you mean.

27:31And he can do anything he wants.

27:33Besides, you get used to the smell.

27:35It smells like...

27:36heritage.

27:38Remind me never to attend one of your family reunions.

27:42Ah!

27:42We must hurry!

27:44We must not keep this sunking waiting!

27:47How do I look, Mo?

27:48Okay to meet my royal ancestor?

27:51Shh!

27:52This is his majesty's boudoir.

27:55Ah!

27:56No, no, no, no, no!

27:57King Louis has a new rule about how to properly announce oneself.

28:01Do you wish to be punished?

28:03Hey, go easy on her, okay?

28:05Unlike us, she doesn't have any royal blood in her.

28:08We are commanded to scratch lightly at the door with the little finger of the left hand.

28:17You're all kidding!

28:19Hey, Louis the king.

28:21He can make any commands he wants.

28:28Ugh, have these socks ever been washed?

28:30His majesty's feet must be cold.

28:34Pass him along!

28:35Oh, man, I'm gonna have socks stink on my hands for the rest of this trip.

28:50Ah!

28:50Hurry, we must stay with the other nobles!

28:54Mo, look at the size of those mirrors.

28:57For a little guy, Louis doesn't do anything small.

29:00Like my idea to give away full-sized donuts.

29:03But you know, you're gonna get a lot more customers showing up.

29:08You say it like it's a bad thing.

29:10More customers mean more napkins, more seating space, more toilet facilities.

29:15And they'll be the cleanest, most perfumed bathrooms ever built.

29:19Toilets my splendid king, Louis, would be proud to place his royal bottom upon.

29:24Really?

29:25And how are you gonna pay for all these big, non-stinky bathrooms if your donuts are free,

29:28huh?

29:29Uh, I'll cut my workers' salaries.

29:32Won't they get upset?

29:34A king doesn't worry about such things.

29:37Uh, I hate to break it to you, Stitch,

29:40but there's absolutely no physical resemblance between you and King Louis.

29:44What do you mean?

29:45Our ears both sort of stick out.

29:55Oh, yeah.

29:56Louis knows how to throw a party.

29:57Look at all these people.

30:00He only wants us around to give him compliments.

30:03And so he can have someone to order around.

30:10Why are they all bending over?

30:12Maybe someone dropped some money.

30:17You!

30:18Look, Mo, he recognizes me!

30:21Boy, did you misread that body language.

30:34I can't believe he didn't recognize me.

30:37I wasn't done with that.

30:52Beg your pardon?

30:53You can't just come into our home and take our bathroom bucket without asking.

30:59Who do you think you are?

31:01Royalty or something?

31:03Actually, I'm doing a genealogy report and I am royalty.

31:07Maybe they forgot to bow to the king's food or something.

31:10As if not bowing to food is a crime.

31:14But it is!

31:15Like making a bad joke.

31:17Look at me, the great Lazun.

31:19Sentenced to ten years in prison for making a joke the king did not find funny.

31:24Want to hear it?

31:25That does it, Stitch.

31:27The Sun King is a royal pain in the...

31:30Okay, maybe Louis let power go to his head a little.

31:34A little?

31:35Let me show you how things got out of control when he built Versailles.

31:41King Louis had 30,000 laborers and craftsmen slave away for over 30 years building this little hideaway.

31:48Louis wanted to build his dream palace.

31:51No matter what the expense,

31:52he had full-grown orange trees placed in every room and that cost millions.

31:58It had a thousand fountains supplied by a hundred miles of pipe with fountain guards who were commanded to whistle.

32:09When the king approached so that the fountain would be fully turned on.

32:16And when France's absolute ruler ran out of money,

32:20he didn't pay his architects,

32:21he threw them all in prison.

32:26Yep,

32:26his country may have almost gone bankrupt,

32:29so his people lived in poverty,

32:30but King Louis ended up with a nifty place to hang his crown.

32:34Honey,

32:34I'm home.

32:39Gee,

32:39I guess he was kind of a heartless guy.

32:42Speaking of heartless,

32:42let's cheer things up a little with a quick quiz.

32:46Long after King Louis was beheaded during the French Revolution,

32:49robbers broke into his tomb and stole his heart.

32:52It was eventually sold to a man who,

32:54A,

32:54put it in a picture frame,

32:56B,

32:57played tennis with it,

32:58or C,

32:59ate it for supper.

33:02A,

33:02B,

33:03wrong,

33:04it was C.

33:06William Buckland,

33:06Dean of Westminster,

33:08munched on Louis' dried out old heart to see what would happen.

33:11He got heartburn.

33:12You gotta really be unpopular for someone to want to eat your heart.

33:18I can't be related to this guy.

33:20Thank goodness.

33:21Does this mean you're dropping the royal blood routine?

33:24Of course not.

33:25It only means I'm related to some other greater royal.

33:28Next up,

33:29Peter the Great.

33:31Oh,

33:31so you think he was great,

33:32do you?

33:35Peter the Great.

33:36Peter the Great.

33:37Peter the Great.

33:38Peter the Great.

33:39Peter the Great.

33:40Peter the Great.

33:41Peter the Great.

33:42Powder me with sugar.

33:45Look at that view.

33:48Yes,

33:49it's 1720,

33:50and you're in the new capital of Russia.

33:54St. Petersburg,

33:55home of my dear relative,

33:56Peter the Great.

33:58I can't wait to meet him in person.

34:05Woo!

34:05That was great.

34:07Let's do it again.

34:08Pete sure built a beautiful modern capital for himself.

34:12That gives me another idea.

34:14Just as long as it's not about doughnuts.

34:17Modernized doughnut production.

34:19I'll build a towering palace dedicated to doughnuts,

34:22and me of course,

34:23the royal visionary.

34:25I'll call it

34:25Donutopia.

34:28That costume of yours is squeezing all the blood out of your brain.

34:31Isn't it,

34:32Stitch?

34:32Careful friend,

34:34you just had a brush with royalty.

34:36Just humor him.

34:37I'm Vladimir Valputinov,

34:40nobleman to Tsar Peter,

34:41in charge of church bell melting and peasant drafting.

34:45Melting and drafting?

34:47You two peasants are hereby drafted into the army for life.

34:51Peasants?

34:51You must be mistaken,

34:53for I am royalty.

34:54And don't bother trying to run.

34:56No one escapes from Valputinov.

35:01Look out below!

35:03Come on,

35:04let's get out of here.

35:05Not before setting Valpoop me off straight.

35:07He thinks I'm a peasant.

35:09But I insist,

35:10your majesty.

35:12Little help,

35:13church bells falling out of the sky?

35:16What kind of nutty is this?

35:18Peter ordered all church bells melted down into cannonballs to use in his many wars.

35:23And he was ruthless about drafting peasants into his army by the thousands.

35:28What is it with these kings and their stupid laws?

35:32Hey,

35:32what if I were to make a royal decree that everyone had to eat donuts?

35:37Can't you see?

35:38You're acting just like Louis,

35:39and now Peter.

35:41I am not.

35:42Donuts are a major food group.

35:43Pipe down,

35:44you jibber-jabbers.

35:46Everyone in Mother Russia,

35:50even the church,

35:51is subordinate to the throne.

35:52And that means you too.

35:54So stay off my bed.

35:56Throne?

35:56Yes,

35:57his throne.

35:59He's Peter the Great.

36:00You can't be Peter the Great.

36:03I am too,

36:04Peter the Great.

36:06Right.

36:07The Tsar of all Russia sleeps in a communist house.

36:10Yeah,

36:11and wears crummy old raggedy clothes.

36:13Yeah,

36:14Peter the Pretty Darn Good would believe.

36:17Maybe even Peter not so shabby,

36:19but not.

36:20I,

36:21Peter,

36:22live and dress like a common person

36:24to better understand and lead my people.

36:27Hey,

36:28you think if I dressed like a commoner

36:29and ate donuts like a commoner,

36:31it would make me a better donut king?

36:32You,

36:33a king?

36:37For your insolence

36:38and for disturbing my sleep,

36:41you shall suffer a greater torture

36:43than any of the hundred thousand people

36:45who suffered while building my

36:47St. Petersburg.

36:50How about Stitch gives you some free donuts

36:53and we call it a...

36:54And you shall join him.

36:56Uh,

36:57now might be a good time

36:58to spin us out of here.

37:00All in good time. Now, here's a little something.

37:03No! Home! Send us home!

37:06No, really, here's a little something about St. Petersburg.

37:09Stitch, if you want to be like Peter the Great,

37:12you too could transform a worthless old bog into a shining new capital city,

37:17with just a few tools and 100,000 of your closest comrades.

37:21On second thoughts, best not make them very close friends

37:25on account of the fact that they're all going to die.

37:28Start with a war-torn bit of a bog,

37:31frozen half the year and waterlog the other half.

37:34Then, enslave thousands of workers to transport millions of tons of earth

37:37to raise the soggy land above sea level.

37:41Then, have those same poor workers sink thousands of wooden piles

37:45to support all the buildings.

37:48Then, after killing off over 100,000 workers,

37:51you've got yourself a lovely picture postcard city,

37:54a city built on bones.

37:58Oh, he sounds as creepy as King Louie.

38:04Do you suppose I'm not related to this guy either?

38:07You know, no one in my family was over six feet tall,

38:10not even Grandma Stickbean.

38:12So why are we here?

38:14Help me out here.

38:16What would be the best way to torture you two?

38:20Huh?

38:21Go, Stitch, go!

38:23Oops!

38:24Oh, toss him out the window.

38:26Now, why didn't I think of that?

38:28But how shall I torture you?

38:30Hang on, Stitch! I'm right behind you!

38:33Woo!

38:34Hmm, a bit repetitive, but it works!

38:39This is it, Stitch.

38:40And even though it's pretty much all your fault that we're about to die,

38:45I'm glad we're friends.

38:46Hey, did you hear what I said?

38:48Yeah, and there's no one else I'd rather share my donut reign with than you.

38:57We're about to die!

38:58You're still thinking about donuts?

39:00Huh?

39:01Die?

39:02Die?

39:03Oh, poop.

39:09Haha, I can't die!

39:11I must fulfill my destiny as the rightful ruler of Donutsburg!

39:15We're gonna be fish food because you're crazy!

39:18Vision, have you learned nothing?

39:21Actually, yes!

39:22This donut costume changed my bump!

39:32Looks like my donut is good for something after all, eh, Moe?

39:41Moe?

39:43Moe?

39:45Moe?

39:46Moe?

39:55So, have you learned anything yet or not?

40:00Yep.

40:01I can't have a donut city.

40:03Thank goodness!

40:04Not without a hot chocolate river to dip the donuts in!

40:09I know there are a lot of Peters and Louis out there,

40:12and I'm not necessarily related to all of them.

40:15So, can we go home now?

40:17Fair enough, I guess you've both been through enough.

40:20But Jahan, now that's an unusual name.

40:24Stitch, don't go there.

40:25And he's the third name on my family tree.

40:27Jahan was royalty, right?

40:29Yes, he was a Shah in Mughal India, and a Shah was just like a king.

40:33Then I could still have royal blood after all!

40:36Time out!

40:37I want out of this one!

40:38I've suffered enough!

40:40But you two make such a good team!

40:43Welcome to Delhi, India!

40:54It's 1653, during the reign of the Mughal monarch, Shah Jahan.

40:59Wow!

41:00Wow!

41:01The Taj Mahal!

41:02It's even more beautiful than in the pictures I've seen!

41:08Yeah!

41:09Beautiful!

41:11Ahem!

41:12A little help, please?

41:20Nice!

41:21Ooh!

41:22Fancy!

41:23Wow!

41:24It looks like they're just finishing up!

41:28Personally, I would like my palace a little more understated, but I suppose to each their own.

41:36I bet it took a lot of time and money to build this puppy!

41:42No, it did!

41:44The Taj Mahal took 22,000 labourers 18 years to build.

41:50The workers decorated the building with hundreds of pounds of pearls and emeralds, thousands of gems from China, and countless uncut diamonds.

41:59Imagine!

42:00Hundreds of millions of pounds for one building!

42:06You really do nice work!

42:09Hey!

42:10It's a living!

42:11Well, for a while at least.

42:12It's nice and all, but what's the point?

42:14Stitch!

42:15This is the Taj Mahal!

42:18I know, but what is it?

42:19Oh, a reason!

42:20Yes!

42:21It is a tomb for the Shah's one true love, his dear departed wife!

42:26Yes, most Shah's had harems with many women.

42:29But not Jahan.

42:30He loved only one.

42:34Oh, how romantic!

42:36A romantic and a builder with an eye for beauty and art!

42:40Sounds like a long-lost relative to me!

42:45Please!

42:46The bed is not even dry yet!

42:49Excuse me!

42:50We were talking to him!

42:52I think they were giving him a coffee break.

42:54Stitch!

42:55Wake up and smell the sprinkles already!

42:57There's something going on here, and it's not just fishy, but poultry and beefy, too!

43:01All the workers have disappeared!

43:04I'm sure it's nothing.

43:07Nothing but trouble!

43:08Let's get out of here fast!

43:15Say hi to Shah Jahan, you two!

43:17Oh, hi!

43:18Bye!

43:19As an admirer and distant relative, can I just shake your hand before we leave?

43:24With pleasure!

43:25See?

43:26A good guy!

43:28And you can leave as soon as my gene cuts out your eyes and tongues!

43:34Your eyes, so that you may never gaze on anything more beautiful than my beloved Taj Mahal!

43:39Your tongue, so that you may never describe it to anyone!

43:41Uh...

43:43Could...

43:44Could you do the eyes first?

43:45I'd hate to see you cut out my tongue!

43:48Joking!

43:49Uh, little...

43:50Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor around here?

43:52You remember around here?

43:53Look at these poor people!

44:21It's terrible, all these starving people, while Jahan spends several fortunes to build a big fancy-pants tomb for his wife.

44:28You've seen for yourself that Jahan's great vision drained the country's treasury of its money, leaving the very people who built it with nothing.

44:37Including their eyes. Yuck!

44:42Do you still think you might be related to royalty, Stitch?

44:45No, and I'm glad I'm not.

44:51Guess I'll get an incomplete on my family tree report.

44:56Stitch, did you see this photo on the bottom of the box? There's writing on it.

45:00Augustus Junior, with his uncles, Louis, Peter, and Jahan.

45:05They're your granduncles, and they helped your dad start his first donut shop.

45:10Hey, my ancestors were great after all.

45:14So you're gonna be okay handing out little donut samples?

45:19Yep. No way I'm gonna let some silly grandvision get in the way of other people's comfort, safety, and happiness.

45:26I'll drink to that.

45:27Hot chocolate!

45:31Clique!

45:32Elizabeth!

45:33I'll drop it sometime.

45:34Watch!

45:35Let's put it in there!

45:36You look at my dad!

45:37Do you know...

45:38She's gonna개� 열� your hand go away.

45:39Click!

45:40Click!

45:42Click!

45:43Click!

45:44Click!

45:45Click!

45:46Click!

45:47Click!

45:51Click!

45:52Click!

45:55Click!

45:56Click!

45:58Click!

45:59Click!

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