Fall in for laughs and mischief with Laverne & Shirley in the Army, the animated spin-off of the hit sitcom that sends America’s favorite roommates into boot camp! Joined by their talking pig sidekick Sgt. Squealy, Laverne DeFazio and Shirley Feeney bumble their way through military life, turning every mission and marching order into a hilarious misadventure. Packed with slapstick humor, quirky characters, and that classic Hanna-Barbera charm, Laverne & Shirley in the Army brings comedy and chaos to the front lines of Saturday morning fun. 🎖️😂🐷 #LaverneAndShirleyInTheArmy #80sCartoonVibes #HannaBarbera #CartoonComedy #ClassicCartoonFun #CartoonThrowback #RetroCartoons #CultCartoons #AnimatedSitcom #CartoonLegends #SlapstickToons #RetroAnimation #ClassicTVToons #CartoonLaughs
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FunTranscript
00:01Laverne, let's join the army!
00:04Watch off!
00:08Where do I sign up?
00:10I'm with you!
00:13Turn!
00:17A commanding pig!
00:21Shut up, Laverne!
00:24Help!
00:25Join the army, you said?
00:30Stop!
00:38Stop!
00:49Girls, I want you to wash Sergeant Turnbuckle's jeep until it sparkles.
00:54Because if it doesn't sparkle, he's going to change his mind about lending you to the Navy for a week.
01:00Don't worry, it'll sparkle!
01:03No, no, no! Don't worry, it'll sparkle, sir!
01:07After all, we don't want to break the hearts of all those cute sailors!
01:11No, no, no! Cute sailors, sir!
01:13Aw, get off it, Applemouth!
01:18Now move it!
01:19Push!
01:20The buckets and the hoses are over there!
01:24Hey, you're going the wrong way, Squealy!
01:26Said the buckets and hoses were back there!
01:28Would you let a kid kill your head or wash a jeep?
01:32Laverne, you can't do this!
01:34Why not?
01:35Because this jeep is topless!
01:38Girl, I think I made a boo-boo!
01:40I know you made a boo-boo, Laverne!
01:42And now I'm paying for it!
01:52Hey, that tickles!
01:57You okay, Cheryl?
01:58Oh, I'm just fine!
02:00Never felt better, Laverne!
02:04Well, it's about time!
02:06You know we're on special orders to report immediately to the Navy's secret new laser ship!
02:12What's a laser ship do?
02:14Never mind that! How many cute sailors does it take to do it?
02:18Do not make jest, you binglings!
02:20If you think this is going to be all fun and games, you're all wet!
02:25Hmm!
02:27Sergeant Tynebuckle is going to hear all about this!
02:31Sergeant Tynebuckle!
02:32Come in, Sergeant Tynebuckle!
02:39Hop, two, three, four!
02:41Hop, two, three, four!
02:43Hop! Hop!
02:45You ladies are going to see a lot of action!
02:48I certainly hope so!
02:54Hop! Hop!
02:56Hop! Hop! Hop!
02:58Isn't he gorgeous?
02:59I saw him first!
03:01I saw him first, and he's just my type!
03:03Face it, Laverne, you'd say that about Godzilla!
03:06Squealy reporting aboard, sir!
03:08I am commanding the Special Army Detachment, sir!
03:12What detachment?
03:14Oh! They've been detached!
03:16Laverne!
03:17Shirley!
03:19I'll mock you, A-W-O-L!
03:21Hey, where's that cute sailor?
03:22He must have gone aboard that ship!
03:25Come on, Cheryl!
03:26Maybe he's got a friend for you!
03:30Where is everybody?
03:31Ahoy!
03:33That's Navy talk!
03:34There's nobody around, Laverne!
03:36You think maybe it's nap time?
03:40Laser ready for testing, Captain!
03:43Activate remote controls to send the target ship out to sea, Mr. Martinez!
03:46Aye, aye, sir!
03:47As soon as that old destroyer is in position, we'll blast it apart with our laser!
03:52Hey! We're moving!
03:54Well, that explains it!
03:55All the sailors must be downstairs driving!
03:58Laverne!
04:00Charlie!
04:02You wanna spend your lives on KP!
04:05Answer me!
04:07Squealy, you silly pig! You missed the boat!
04:09Don't forget the ride!
04:10You cannot do this, you better-brained bimbos!
04:14You're on the wrong ship!
04:16Well, I am just gonna tell Sergeant, turn!
04:19Turn!
04:20Marco!
04:22Just our luck!
04:24Old Troughnose can swim!
04:26Look at that! He's doing the pig paddle!
04:28T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t, throw me a-a-row!
04:32Here ya go, Squealy.
04:35Very humorous.
04:38Now give me a rope, or I'll report this to Sergeant Turnbuckle!
04:42Move it, under double, please!
04:45Right!
04:46Don't go away!
04:49Woo-woo-oow!
04:51Oh!
04:53Help!
04:55What do ya' know? The little Pork is water-skiing!
04:57Look down, look at that, he's doing it the hard way, without skiing.
05:02Now pull me in before I...
05:08Welcome aboard, Squealy. Better late than bait.
05:12The American target ship has been launched, Captain.
05:15It's moving into position for the secret laser test.
05:18Good. First we watch the secret test, then we attack.
05:22The destroyer is coming into range, sir.
05:28Begin the countdown.
05:29Yes, sir. Sequence started down and counting, sir.
05:33That's you, you goofball. We're gonna miss the laser beam test.
05:37Says who? Quit hogging those binoculars, let me see.
05:40Wow, I've never seen anything like that before.
05:44Is he cute? I'd like to catch him in dry dock.
05:48Laverne, you're drooling all over the glasses. Give me those.
05:51Oh, what's so cute? All I see on deck is this great big barrel thing swinging toward us.
05:55What? All right, give me those glasses.
05:59I believe they are aiming the laser.
06:01At us!
06:02Relax yourself, you said they were gonna blow up some old target ship.
06:06Yeah, the target's just some old...
06:09Target ship? And we're on it!
06:12Fire!
06:15Help!
06:17We're sinking! Women and children first!
06:20And take black!
06:21Where's the lifeboat?
06:22It's this way!
06:24No, it's this way!
06:25This way!
06:26This way!
06:27This way!
06:28This way!
06:29Whoa!
06:30I told you it was this way!
06:33But where's Bacon's face?
06:35Funny you should ask.
06:39Nice going, squealy!
06:40Your corkscrew tail just punctured our ass!
06:43What are you clowns talking about?
06:45Sit on it, squealy!
06:47No!
06:48No!
06:49No!
06:56Captain!
06:57Radar shows the vessel approaching at great speed!
06:59Activate ship's disguising mechanism!
07:02Yes, Captain!
07:07We gotta float this thing down!
07:08I can have a hold, squealy!
07:10Lest you forget!
07:11I give the orders around here!
07:13Let's see what the manual says about this!
07:16Uh, never mind!
07:18We're gonna crash!
07:28Laverne?
07:29Laverne, is that your skinny tuna?
07:31It's me, but I think I'm engaged to a herring!
07:34Welcome aboard, my humble fishing vessel!
07:37Oh, what have we here?
07:39A pig?
07:40I used to keep pigs!
07:42It's wonderful!
07:43How about keeping this one?
07:45What?
07:46Watch it, DeFazio!
07:47Oh, Sergeant Trenbuckle's gonna love my report on you!
07:51Tell me, what are you doing out here?
07:54We're on a top secret mission!
07:56What secret mission?
07:58Something to do with a laser ship, but I can't tell you that!
08:01Laverne, close your...
08:02Laverne, close your...
08:03Laverne, loose-lipped sink ship!
08:05Ours is already sunk, girl!
08:07Oh, what else can't you tell me?
08:10Oh, about the laser being so powerful, or to slice a ship in half?
08:14Laverne, you just told her!
08:16I did not!
08:17I told her what I couldn't tell her!
08:19We're under military command!
08:21Got that?
08:22We refuse to answer any more questions about our mission!
08:25Do not fret yourself, dear Tiki!
08:28We only want our guests to enjoy their stay with us!
08:32Make them all comfortable below while we head for their ship!
08:37Hey, well, that's more like it!
08:39Aren't they sweet to take them back to the ship?
08:42What do we tip them for this?
08:44Girl, this is not the love boat!
08:46Sounds great!
08:48Don't trouble yourself, fella!
08:50Well, we'll take the elevator!
08:54Now you did it, Laverne!
08:56You changed this ship into a submarine!
08:59Submarine!
09:00That reminds me, where can I get a sandwich?
09:02So, you discovered our little secret!
09:07My submarine!
09:08There's no sub here!
09:09I don't see any sub!
09:10Did you see a sub?
09:11Did you see a sub, Laverne?
09:12Uh, sub?
09:13Uh, no way!
09:14Not me!
09:15There ain't no subs around here!
09:16I mean six subs!
09:20That's no sub!
09:23Yes, it is!
09:25No, it's not!
09:28Seize them!
09:30Uh, now, cool down and get back, fellas!
09:32Uh, no seizing on the first day!
09:34I will handle this!
09:36Halt!
09:37Ten huts!
09:38Above!
09:39Face!
09:40Forward!
09:41March!
09:42Up!
09:43Two!
09:44Up!
09:45Two!
09:46Up!
09:47Up!
09:48Ship Company!
09:49Halt!
09:50Get on!
09:55Uh, hiya sailor!
09:56Come here often!
09:57If you're looking for a pair of gorgeous girls, they went that way!
10:01Don't let us stop ya!
10:02We're just a couple of mermaids visiting relatives!
10:06What about pigs?
10:07What's the matter, big boy?
10:09Didn't you ever see a mer-pig before?
10:11Woah!
10:12Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
10:14Say, girl!
10:15Do you like frozen fish fish?
10:16You know I do!
10:17Why?
10:18Because I think we're gonna be there!
10:20Help!
10:21Convert to submarine!
10:22Aye aye, captain!
10:23Prepare to dive!
10:24Help!
10:26Convert to submarine!
10:28Aye, aye, Captain!
10:32Prepare to dive!
10:36Well, now that our visitors are fooled off, we can begin the attack!
10:41Activate telescopic grappling arms!
10:44Grappling arms working perfectly, Captain!
10:48Proceed on course!
10:50Dip that secret laser right off the American ship before they know what's happening!
10:59Laverne, where'd you get those earrings?
11:02Buddy earrings! These are icicles! I'm breathing!
11:06Nice going, girls!
11:08On account of you two blunderheads, they're gonna turn us into popsicles!
11:13Correction! Two popsicles and one...pakesicle!
11:18Frozen!
11:20Me too! I feel like a TV dinner! Gourmet, of course!
11:27Attention! Keep those ice blocks lined up!
11:31I know it! The cold's turned his frame to slush!
11:34I heard that, Private Defazio!
11:37You are making me very mad, Laverne!
11:40You know what happens when I get mad?
11:43Yeah! Your big fat snout turns red and your piggy little eyes get all...
11:47Laverne! I am warning you!
11:51We've gotta keep insulting him! It's melting the ice!
11:54Miss Defazio, why do pigs love garbage dumps?
11:57I don't know, Miss Feeney! Why do pigs love garbage dumps?
12:00Because there's no place like home!
12:06I'll have you locked in the stockades for the rest of your natural lives!
12:11Or maybe even longer!
12:12You did it, Squealy! We're free!
12:15I wouldn't count on that!
12:17Party, Pooper!
12:18Put them all in irons!
12:20I want no trouble from them while we are attacking the laser ship!
12:23Now, here it is, Captain! I demand that you release my squad members immediately!
12:28I'm sorry, my fierce little piggy, but they know too much!
12:33Laverne and Charlie know too much? You're putting me on!
12:37Hold it, you two! I give the orders around here!
12:40Squealy, have you ever considered transferring to intelligence for a brain transplant?
12:45Enough! Seize them!
12:46Your orders are as follows. Run for your lives!
12:50Quick! We'll use escape plan 1525X! Hide in those lockers!
13:05Hiya, sailor!
13:11Now I've got you, you swine! I'll get you! I'll get you all!
13:20Whoa!
13:21Whoa!
13:22Whoa!
13:41Nice going, Porky! We're safe here!
13:44Safe? Locked in a tiny compartment in an enemy submarine beneath the ocean?
13:48You call that safe?
13:50How about half safe?
13:51Would you settle for in big trouble?
13:54Big trouble!
13:56Okay, okay! Keep calm, troops! And follow me!
14:02Somebody call a plumber!
14:03Okay! Grab those scuba outfits!
14:07Laser ship range 2,000 yards and closing, Captain!
14:14Excellent! Locking automatic laser retrieval system and...
14:19Captain! The prisoners are escaping from the sub in scuba gear!
14:23Stop that laser sequence! Set the grapplers to capture them!
14:27Levervin, look out!
14:31Get your cold fingers off of me! I don't even know you!
14:35This way, little soldiers! Under this rock!
14:39We've lost contact with the prisoners, Captain!
14:41You fool! Keep after them!
14:43Say, this is some fancy cave! I've never seen a ceiling like that in Milwaukee!
14:47Yes! It's kind of pretty, like a... like a seashell!
14:54Don't be ridiculous! A shell this size would have to be a giant man-eating clam!
15:02Giant man-eating clam?!
15:04All right, you big abalone! Open up in the name of the U.S. of A Army!
15:11Anybody here speak clam?!
15:13Uh, listen, clam! Give me a break! I never ate a bowl of chowder in my life!
15:17It's no use, Laverne! We're the ones in the soup now!
15:21All right, all right! Don't panic, little buckaroos! We'll pry him right open!
15:26Good idea! Yeah, that's using me a brain!
15:29All right! All together now!
15:31A one, and a two, and a three!
15:37Unhand me, you clammy clam! Oh, Laverne! Shirley, save me!
15:43You promise to be nicer to us from now on? Treat us like human beings!
15:47That's what I happen to promise so I won't be a clam dinner?
15:50That's right! Well...
15:53Answer us, squealing!
15:56I'm thinking it over!
15:58All right, get me out of here!
16:01Pull harder! You bubble-headed gold bricks!
16:06You broke your promise, squealing!
16:09I had my hooves crossed behind my back!
16:12Now move out! Stroke two, three, four!
16:17Look out! Here comes Big Boat!
16:23It's okay, Laverne! Whales don't eat people!
16:29Good! I was starting to worry!
16:33And then, the laser ship is dead ahead!
16:39Ha, ha, ha! Once that laser is ours, the world will be at our mercy!
16:45I know you're homesick, Cheryl, but this is no time to set up light whale keeping!
16:50Oh, I suppose you're right, but this stomach needs a woman's touch!
16:54Ha, ha, ha! Oh, that is very funny, soldier girl!
16:58You're a real rib tickler, you are!
17:00That's it! We'll escape by tickling his ribs!
17:03Tickling squealing?
17:04No, Laverne, the whale! And when he opens his mouth to laugh, we'll swim right out!
17:10That's dumb! B-U-M, dumb!
17:12How are you gonna tickle a whale?
17:14Yay!
17:16Okay, Moby Dick, laugh it up!
17:18Gitchy-goo!
17:19Don't touch me, Defazio!
17:23Who said fish don't have a sense of humor, huh?
17:25Tickling was a dumb thing to do when it didn't work, Laverne!
17:35So? It doesn't make me a bad person!
17:38Shirley, what are you doing?
17:40I'm fixing myself up in case this whale swallows a cute lifeguard!
17:46Go, Zunhai!
17:48Aww, that poor whale needs a tissue!
17:50You made the whale sneeze!
17:52That's my Cheryl!
17:54What are you doing? That is very expensive stuff, night time in Akron.
17:59Uh, right, right!
18:07The laser ship's right ahead of us.
18:09And guess what's right behind us? The submarine!
18:14Ten seconds and counting, Captain!
18:16Our prize awaits us! Ha ha ha ha!
18:19Captain, look! They escaped prisoners!
18:22Seize them!
18:25All right, back off, you telescopic torps. That's an order, and don't you ever forget it.
18:31That's telling them, Squealy!
18:33Yikes!
18:34I've heard of the SWAT team, but this is ridiculous.
18:38Dumb boy, fuck off!
18:40Ooh, get that fool off my periscope! I can't see!
18:43I'm trying, Captain, but I can't see either!
18:46She's blocking the monitor!
18:48This is the last time I travel without seasick pills.
18:58We're flooding! Sound emergency stations! Surface immediately!
19:05Yes, Captain!
19:07Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee!
19:09Nice to see you again, sailor.
19:19No any good pizza joints?
19:21Knock it off, Laverne.
19:23No more dates for either of you
19:25before goofing up our entire mission.
19:27In a pig's eye.
19:29We helped capture the sub and save this ship.
19:31Come on, squealy.
19:32Laverne's absolutely right.
19:34What's fair is fair.
19:35We demand what's coming to us.
19:38Well, we certainly got what was coming to us, Laverne.
19:41Yeah, I wish we'd keep this big snout out of our lives.
19:45I heard that.
19:46And so will Sergeant Turnbuck.
19:48You call this laser clean?
19:51We've polished everything but this big button here.
19:54I'll get it.
19:55No, no, don't.
20:00Turn it off.
20:05Yai!
20:07I can't turn it off.
20:08What do we do?
20:09The only thing we can do.
20:11Relax and enjoy it.
20:16Whoa!
20:21They got my rear end.
20:23Sergeant Turnbuckle.
20:29Wow.
20:30Squirly's going to get us for this one.
20:32Yeah, but it'll be worth it.
20:34Roger Ramjet revs up the laughs as Funtown continues next.
20:43And at 5 Eastern, Catwoman turns the boy wonder into a criminal.
20:47Stay tuned for Batman here on the Family Channel.
20:50Let's go.
21:09¶¶
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