- 7 weeks ago
The Sarah Jane Adventures-S03E09-Mona Lisa's Revenge-Pt-1
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TVTranscript
00:01Thirteen Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives.
00:04And it's home to things way beyond your imagination.
00:07There's an extraterrestrial supercomputer in the wall.
00:11A genetically engineered boy genius in the attic.
00:14A schoolgirl investigator across the road.
00:18And a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.
00:26Ready? Always.
00:30I don't know how you do that.
00:36You've either got it or you haven't, Lukey boy.
00:38You see, art isn't something you can do.
00:40No.
00:41But surely it's a matter of biomechanical transference of what the eye sees to paper.
00:44In the end, it all comes down to geometry.
00:46You see, there's your problem, Luke.
00:48You work up here, you're all science and logic and spocky stuff like that.
00:52But you can't break art down into maths.
00:54Everything comes down to maths.
00:56Not art. Art isn't the soul. You don't think it, you feel it.
01:02Good morning, Eleven Tea.
01:04Someone's in trouble.
01:06That's that serious face.
01:08Yeah, like you've got any other sort.
01:10All right, you lot. Settle down.
01:12If I may, Mrs. Taylor.
01:14I have an important announcement to make.
01:16Told you.
01:18What's happening you, Clyde Langer?
01:20Me?
01:21Oh, what have I done now?
01:22Wait, oh no, wait.
01:24Don't tell me.
01:25I turned up.
01:26All I have to do to get some teachers back up.
01:29You aren't in trouble, Clyde.
01:31For once, quite the opposite.
01:33I've just had an email from a Mr. Harding, curator of the International Gallery.
01:37Who?
01:39At last.
01:42Indeed, Mr. Harding.
01:45I never thought I would see the day when she came into my care.
01:49So, so beautiful.
01:52No one else could have achieved this.
01:54The years of dedicated planning.
01:56No one would have been man enough.
02:00We got there in the end, Miss Trapp.
02:02After all our tribulations.
02:05Yours.
02:07I only assisted.
02:09True, true.
02:10You did.
02:12And here she is.
02:15The Mona Lisa.
02:21Tomorrow morning, this entire class will be the first members of the public to see...
02:28The Mona Lisa.
02:30Here in the UK.
02:31And all thanks to Clyde.
02:33You won first prize.
02:34You won.
02:37Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
02:39As much as I appreciate the adulation and missing double mass tomorrow, there's been a mistake.
02:45I never put my work into any competition.
02:48Someone did.
02:49Oh, I wonder who.
02:52They were looking for the country's most promising young artist.
02:55And you really are good, Clyde.
02:56Brilliant.
02:57I knew you'd never put yourself forward.
02:58Yeah, well, it's not good for the image, is it, someone?
03:00Nerdy competition.
03:01I've got to text Mum.
03:02How many times?
03:03No mobiles in the classroom.
03:04Or at the gallery tomorrow.
03:05Their rules, not mine.
03:06You're not annoyed with me, are you?
03:07Are you serious?
03:08It's the Mona Lisa.
03:09You should press on.
03:10Yes, sir.
03:11Oh, tomorrow will be such a day for me.
03:12Tomorrow will be such a day for me.
03:13You should press on.
03:14Yes, sir.
03:15Oh, tomorrow will be such a day for me.
03:22Oh, tomorrow will be such a day for me.
03:36Oh, tomorrow will be such a day for me.
03:44Come on.
03:45Come on!
03:46Come on.
03:47Come on, come on.
03:48Come on.
04:06Mum.
04:09You will believe what's happened.
04:11Mum.
04:12I'm in your room.
04:13Look at the state of this place.
04:19Yeah, I know, but...
04:21I thought I told you to tidy it.
04:22Oh, Will, just listen.
04:23When?
04:24Oh, I hate to think how long all these cups have been here.
04:27Oh.
04:29Okay.
04:31No, it isn't.
04:33And you can forget any other plans you had for this evening
04:34because you're blitzing this place.
04:36And don't think K-9's going to zap all this rubbish.
04:38He's out of bounds till it's done.
04:39I am so disappointed in you.
04:41I don't know what you want from me.
04:43You say you're trying to give me a normal life,
04:45but when I act like a real teenager,
04:46you want me to be perfect again,
04:47the way that Bane made me.
04:54I'm sorry you feel like that.
04:56So am I.
05:10Hand in your mobile phone to reception
05:14and no running.
05:15No running.
05:17We're here as honoured guests,
05:18not like some hormonal SAS.
05:23And what's the news?
05:32Oh, freebies.
05:33No, I'll pass, thanks.
05:42No, you're lost.
05:43Anyway, what did Sarah Jane say about me when in this prize?
05:47Nothing.
05:48We're not really talking.
05:49She's being such a mum.
05:52Yeah, it's probably best she doesn't know.
05:56Careful, Clyde.
05:56Even star pupils need to watch where they're going.
05:58Sir?
05:59Sir, how are you feeling?
06:00I'm nervous.
06:02Weirded out.
06:03I mean, teachers are never this friendly.
06:06You see, diligence has its rewards.
06:09Perhaps now you'll put the same enthusiasm
06:11into your other schoolwork?
06:13Mr. Chandra?
06:14Parkdale?
06:15Yes!
06:16Mr. Harding will receive you upstairs.
06:18Great.
06:18And this will be here.
06:19OK, everyone, follow me.
06:21Very excited.
06:22I am very excited as well.
06:23What do you reckon, Luke?
06:36Who's got the more enigmatic smile?
06:39Me?
06:40Or Lisa?
06:42I really don't understand.
06:43Why is the Mona Lisa so special?
06:46It's just brown.
06:48Maybe when you see the real thing, you'll understand.
06:50I don't really get that.
06:52Yeah, right.
06:54It's an art gallery.
06:56You're not supposed to pick it up either, OK?
06:57You look.
06:59You don't touch.
07:01This isn't art.
07:03It's something else.
07:05Clyde?
07:06This is Mr. Harding, curator of the gallery.
07:10Clyde Langer.
07:11We're really proud of it.
07:13Congratulations, Clyde.
07:14You're very talented.
07:16Such a handsome boy.
07:18Oh, this is my assistant, Miss Trapp.
07:21You really are so gifted, Clyde.
07:23Cheers.
07:24As soon as I saw your picture, they knew you'd win.
07:26And it wasn't up to me, of course, but if it had been, you'd definitely have won.
07:29Well, you did, so it's all turned out for the best.
07:33Miss Trapp, perhaps you should go and check the final preparations.
07:36Oh.
07:39Big day for all of us.
07:42Clyde, follow me.
07:43Your masterpiece awaits.
07:52Come along, chop-chop.
07:54This place should be clear by now.
07:56Do you know how lucky you are?
08:15Lionel worships you.
08:18If only he looked at me with the same eyes.
08:20Oh, quit your morning, love.
08:25It was all a favor.
08:36Luke, you said that?
08:41You can hear me.
08:44Well, now there's a first.
08:45So let's try this for another.
08:56And here we are.
08:58In find the place.
09:02No way.
09:05Is something wrong?
09:07It's just...
09:09my work in a proper gallery.
09:12I told you, Clyde.
09:13It's brilliant.
09:14Clyde!
09:21Clyde!
09:21Clyde!
09:22Clyde!
09:23Clyde!
09:24Clyde!
09:25Clyde!
09:25Shut up!
09:26Agreed.
09:27Some order, please.
09:29Mrs. Taylor.
09:33Apart from the obvious artistic flair,
09:36your imagination is so impressive.
09:40The detail in the weaponry.
09:42I don't know where you'll get your inspiration.
09:46Please!
09:49They're Sontaran blasters, aren't they?
09:50Well spotted.
09:51That's why you did more months now.
09:53Yeah.
09:54Oh.
09:54Don't tell her I've been drawing K-9 either.
09:56You know, I always used to play this sort of stuff down.
10:01I thought people would laugh at me.
10:04You mean, you thought drawing wasn't cool or something like that?
10:07Well, it is cool.
10:09And believe me, no one's laughing.
10:11When I was younger, no brothers or sisters, I used to draw for company.
10:17Well, maybe I could really do something with this.
10:21And so, to the prize, prepare to meet the Mona Lisa.
10:28The Mona Lisa.
10:34A painting begun by Leonardo da Vinci in 1503 in Florence,
10:39but finished only shortly before he died in 1519.
10:44For over 500 years, the Mona Lisa's beauty has remained undimmed.
10:50She has been gazed upon by millions in her Paris home.
10:53Now, she is here.
10:59Feast your eyes and lose your hearts.
11:03I give you the Mona Lisa.
11:11She has let herself go.
11:16Isn't that his assistant?
11:20Security!
11:21The Mona Lisa has been stolen!
11:27Excuse me, Sarah Jane.
11:29I am detecting unusual brain pattern activity,
11:32and your ability to concentrate appears compromised.
11:35Are you unwell?
11:36No, I'm fine, Mr. Smith.
11:40It's Luke.
11:41But Luke has perfect health.
11:43That is how he was made by the Bane.
11:45Yes, I know.
11:46The perfect human being.
11:48But nothing stays perfect forever, does it?
11:50I'm sorry.
11:51I'm not sure that I understand.
11:53Luke isn't ill.
11:54He's growing up.
11:55I believe it is a normal part of breeding patterns in most species.
11:59Yes, I know.
12:01And I've tried so hard to make Luke's life as normal as possible.
12:06In a way, it helped make mine a little more normal, too.
12:10Before I met Luke, who was I?
12:11The lonely, frosty woman in the big house,
12:15who knew more about creatures from outer space than she did humans.
12:19I've always considered the intricacy of human nature excessively complicated in comparison to most other life forms.
12:25You and me both, old friend.
12:27And being a mum, it's just about as complicated as it gets.
12:30Most parents have years to get used to it.
12:34I'm still finding my feet.
12:35And already I'm realizing that one day it's going to be over.
12:39One day Luke will be gone.
12:41One day perhaps very soon.
12:43I told them security had to be approved here.
12:50I told them.
12:51After that come up Athelstan fiasco at Easter.
12:54Oh, my beautiful Mona Lisa.
12:57The French will have my head.
13:00If you could all stay calm as we move out and let the police do their job.
13:05There's something freaky about this.
13:06Ah, here we go.
13:08Just because something shady happens doesn't mean there are aliens behind it.
13:11When my bike got nicked, do you think that was E.T. the Asbo cycling home?
13:16Did I mention aliens?
13:17Ron is right.
13:18Why would they put a picture of Miss Trump in the Mona Lisa's place?
13:21Maybe she's behind it.
13:22Maybe it's her calling card.
13:24The Trump maestress has struck.
13:27Even if this isn't alien, it's weird enough for Sarah Jane we should call her.
13:30No, we don't need her.
13:31We can do this ourselves.
13:35Okay then.
13:37But first, we need to lose my dad.
13:41Have you seen Jonathan?
13:43No?
13:44Are you sure?
13:45Excuse me, Mr Chandra.
13:47Yes, what is it, Luke?
13:48I need the toilet.
13:49Me too, so I'm busting.
13:50At me.
13:51Okay, but be quick.
13:52Sure.
13:53And then straight to the coach.
13:55Not so, Luke.
13:56What?
13:57Good cover story.
13:58No, I really need the loot.
14:01Oh, well, like Dad says, be quick.
14:03I am picking up news reports from the International Gallery.
14:12The Mona Lisa has been stolen.
14:14The Mona Lisa?
14:15I don't believe it.
14:17Security at the International Gallery was supposed to be massive.
14:20So the reports suggest.
14:21All the same.
14:22If it hasn't been taken by intergalactic art thieves, not really my thing.
14:26Or are you trying to distract me, Mr Smith?
14:29I simply thought the news report would be of interest.
14:31Okay, show me.
14:36It's understood that the theft was discovered as the Mona Lisa was about to be unveiled
14:41for a party of students from Parkvale Comprehensive in Ealing.
14:46What?
14:46Parkvale pupil Clyde Langer won a first prize in the gallery's Artists of the Future competition.
14:53This is Lisa Mazimba reporting for the International Gallery.
14:57The myth must have been there too.
14:59Never said anything.
15:01Not a word.
15:05Alice!
15:09Don't never get past them.
15:11There has to be another way in.
15:12We need a map.
15:14Like this one.
15:16See?
15:17You never turn down a freebie, Luke.
15:27Luke's not answering.
15:28The gallery prohibits the use of mobile telephones, but I'm accessing information from the Metropolitan
15:33Felice computer system that you may find of interest.
15:36What exactly am I looking at?
15:37This is a crime scene photograph of the Mona Lisa.
15:40Mr Smith, that isn't the Mona Lisa.
15:42My infrared analysis confirms the brushstroke patterns of Leonardo da Vinci.
15:46This is the Mona Lisa.
15:48But it can't be.
15:49Who is that woman?
15:50Phyllis Trump, personal assistant to the gallery's curator.
15:53Her most detailed personal profile can be found on peapodsallmates.com, where she lists her interests as salsa dancing.
16:01She says she's open-minded and willing to try...
16:04Thank you, Mr Smith, that will do.
16:05What's happened to her?
16:06I can only surmise molecular transplacement.
16:09She is still alive and conscious, but trapped in the canvas of a 500-year-old painting.
16:13What could have caused this?
16:15Insufficient data.
16:16So this isn't anything like a straightforward art theft, is it?
16:19It would seem not.
16:21Which means the other question is, if that's Phyllis Trump, where on earth is the Mona Lisa?
16:33This place is like a maze.
16:35Or like finding your way through level four of Alien Devastation 3.
16:39I thought you said you could find your way with that map.
16:42Men and maps?
16:43Hey, I can read a map.
16:45I was in the Cubs.
16:46Well, until they kicked me out, but you don't want to hear about that.
16:49Clyde?
16:50Yes, I know.
16:51My picture would look great in your lounge.
16:53Just get your dad to make me an offer.
16:55I don't want you painting, Clyde.
16:57I want to know what happened to the gun that was in here.
16:59Galaxia's gun?
17:02Whose?
17:04Okay, so I gave the names.
17:06Can we move on now?
17:07What matters is...
17:09What are you doing here?
17:10The police are conducting an investigation.
17:13They don't need a bunch of schoolchildren roaming around disturbing evidence.
17:17Yeah, well, it isn't just your precious Mona Lisa that's been stolen now.
17:20How is it?
17:20One of the guns in Clyde's painting has vanished.
17:23Look.
17:23The gun wasn't painted out, Mr. Harding.
17:39It was taken.
17:41Whatever we're dealing with, it's more than just an art thing.
17:43Oh, you better believe it.
17:46Sugar.
17:46She's got my gun.
17:50She went to the toilet, and that's the last I saw her.
17:53No, Gita, the police won't let me back in.
17:56No, I can't ring her.
17:57No phone's allowed inside.
17:58Look, I'll call you back.
17:59All right, hello.
18:01Sarah-Jane, I suppose you know about the Mona Lisa?
18:04Of course.
18:05Crime of the century and the story of the year.
18:07Who's wrong?
18:08The thing is, they've closed the gallery, and Luke, Rani, and Clyde are still inside, so...
18:12Oh, well, why don't you look after the rest of the kids, and I'll see what I can do?
18:16In my line of work, you get a knack for opening closed doors.
18:18You sure?
18:19Oh, fine.
18:20Mrs. Taylor, kids, come on.
18:22Quickly.
18:23Move.
18:24Phone's away.
18:26Are you chewing?
18:26No, sir.
18:27Put your phones away, please.
18:31Come on.
18:38Who are you?
18:42And I thought you were supposed to be an art expert.
18:44I am the Mona Lisa.
18:50No, but really.
18:53Yeah, really.
18:54You can't fake this kind of class.
18:56You can't be the Mona Lisa.
18:58You have to be some sort of alien manifestation.
19:01Ooh.
19:01And why is that, then?
19:02Because on Earth, women in paintings don't just jump out their frames.
19:06And knit guns from someone else's painting?
19:09Do you know how long it took me to paint that?
19:10Hmm.
19:18Not bad.
19:19Not in my league, of course.
19:22But then Leo was a bit of a ledge, even back then.
19:26Although he had to blag the oils off his weirdo neighbour to paint me.
19:31Okay.
19:32Say that's true.
19:33Now you're out of your frame.
19:35What is it you want?
19:35I've just had five centuries hanging on a wall, sugar.
19:39What is it you think I want?
19:41It's time I had...
19:43a bit of fun.
19:44And I think I'll start with some...
19:48target practice.
19:49Run for it!
19:50Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:51Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:53Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:54Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:55Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:55Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
19:56Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
19:57Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
19:58Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
19:58So?
19:59It's just you and me now, Ardus.
20:01Sonic Scarlet, my favourite shade.
20:16Oh boy!
20:17That's it!
20:17No, I have seen everything!
20:19We're so happy to get hold of Sarah Jane!
20:20What do I mean now?
20:21No!
20:22What's got into you?
20:24Why are you things so weird about your mum?
20:27Luke and Sarah Jane have had a Barney.
20:29Or Arney.
20:30Never mind that.
20:30What?
20:31Where is everyone?
20:32On the coach.
20:33My dad would be going mental by now.
20:34What about the police?
20:35Forensics should be calling all over this place.
20:39Something's wrong.
20:41It is.
20:43So very, very wrong.
20:46A whole new kind of wrong.
21:00Mia Bella.
21:01Is it really you?
21:02Oh, go on then.
21:03Touch me.
21:04I know you want to.
21:05I've seen the way you look at me.
21:07I remember when you came to the Louvre.
21:11The Louvre.
21:12The Louvre?
21:13Actually, every time you came.
21:14Twenty seconds.
21:15That's all anyone gets to see me.
21:16And then move along, see you play.
21:17You always put up quite a struggle.
21:18It's a shame they had to ban you in the end.
21:19It is you.
21:20It really is you.
21:21It really is you.
21:22And you are going to have to get used to that.
21:23Because we've got a lot of work.
21:24I remember when you came to the Louvre.
21:25I remember when you came to the Louvre.
21:26The Louvre?
21:27Actually.
21:28Every time you came.
21:29Twenty seconds.
21:30That's all anyone gets to see me.
21:32And then move along, see you play.
21:34You always put up quite a struggle.
21:37It's a shame they had to ban you in the end.
21:40It is you.
21:43It really is you.
21:46And you are going to have to get used to that.
21:49Because we've got a lot of work to do.
21:51I don't understand.
21:53We have to find my brother.
21:56Definite traces of alien energy.
22:01Two of them.
22:06He's here.
22:11Somewhere.
22:12I know he is.
22:14But there's nothing to suggest in any academic work that you had a brother.
22:20Not had.
22:21Harders.
22:22Have.
22:23And he's here.
22:25Somewhere.
22:26Amongst this tat just waiting for me.
22:30You mean another painting?
22:35Yes, I can see how you got the job here, Harders.
22:38And that's why I need you.
22:40You know every brush stroke in this place.
22:43Well, what does he look like, your brother?
22:50I've never seen him, so I haven't got a clue.
22:53But it'll have been painted around the same time as me.
22:56The same place as me.
22:58Next door, in fact.
23:00I've got it!
23:03Follow me!
23:04Oh, it's locked!
23:05We have to find a phone.
23:06I don't care what you say, Luke.
23:07What's happened to those people is beyond freaky.
23:08We're calling your mum.
23:09I don't think there's any need.
23:10I can't see it.
23:11I can't see it.
23:12Is it your alien energy?
23:13But if this is a was painting by Leonardo, how is that possible?
23:14Do you know, Phyllis?
23:15I know you can hear me, even if they can't answer.
23:16I can't see it.
23:17I promise you, I'm gonna get you out of there.
23:18I promise you, I'm gonna get you out of there.
23:20any need. I can't see it.
23:30Is it your alien energy? But if this isn't a wasp painting by Leonardo, how is that possible?
23:38Do you know, Phyllis? I know you can hear me, even if they can't answer. I promise you,
23:44I'm going to get you out of there.
23:47I'm thinking this way. If he was painted at the same time as you, this has to be him.
23:54Has to be. Not only a contemporary of Leonardo, but a neighbour in Florence.
24:03What? Him? He's not much of a looker, is he?
24:07Giuseppe di Cattivo, 1450 to 1518, whose work is often compared to his more famous contemporary,
24:13Hieronymus Bosch. Poor Giuseppe. He died in a lunatic asylum.
24:19Hmm.
24:23No, no, this isn't him. But...
24:26Come out, come out, whoever you are.
24:37I can hear you breathing.
24:41Who would have thought a painting would have such good hearing, Mona Lisa?
24:44But then Leonardo was such a stickler for detail.
24:48On the subject of detail...
24:51Mind filling in the obvious blank?
24:53My name is Sarah James Smith, and that is a Sontaran blast.
24:56Do you mind telling me where you got it?
24:58Ooh! Well, I just took it from the painting that, like Clyde did,
25:01because I thought it looked a little bit flash.
25:03Oh, Clyde. You better not have harmed him or his friends.
25:06Oh, no, don't concern yourself. They're perfectly safe.
25:10I'm Lionel Harding, curator of the museum.
25:13Mr. Harding, whatever is happening here, don't worry. I can help you.
25:17Thank you. I'm not sure I need it.
25:19No.
25:21See, Harder's here. He's me number one fan.
25:24Listen to me, she is dangerous. Look what she did to Miss Trapp.
25:27Ooh.
25:28No, you don't want to worry about that old trout, do you, Harder's?
25:33I mean, you never did before, did you?
25:35Let's face it, she never was an oil painting.
25:39At least not till now.
25:41Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
25:43Lisa!
25:44Now!
25:45Ooh, I might think about it.
25:47Depends if you stay out of me way.
25:49Sarah Jane Smith?
25:52Sarah Jane?
25:54Where do I know that name?
25:56Oh!
25:59Oh!
26:00Ooh!
26:01That's Sarah Jane.
26:03Seems like no one wants you around, Sazza.
26:06Not even your son.
26:08Oops.
26:09Hmm.
26:10Heard him talking before.
26:12He'd like you to keep your nose out.
26:14And so would I.
26:15I'm sorry, whatever you're planning, I am not stepping aside.
26:18That's your choice.
26:19Lou me, Bella!
26:21What is that?
26:22That is my brother.
26:23Is it me, or did things just get uncomfortable?
26:36What's going on?
26:37Well, give me a second.
26:38Then I'll put you in the picture.
26:39Mom!
26:40That's Mom!
26:41Sarah Jane!
26:42Mom!
26:43That's Mom!
26:44Sarah Jane!
26:45Mom!
26:46Luke?
26:47Who found her?
26:48Mom!
26:49Mom!
26:50No!
26:51Mom!
26:52No!
26:53No!
26:54No!
26:55No!
26:56No!
26:57No!
26:58No!
26:59No!
27:00No!
27:01No!
27:02No!
27:03No!
27:04No!
27:05No!
27:06No!
27:07No!
27:08No!
27:09No!
27:10No!
27:11No!
27:12No!
27:13No!
27:14No!
27:15No!
27:17No!
27:21And that is how she'll stay.
27:24Forever.
27:25No!
27:26No!
27:27No!
27:28No!
27:29No!
27:30No!
27:31No!
27:32They have not released from wood and paint.
27:41So it's locked in here!
27:43Allegedly, a painting too terrifying to be accepted.
27:46Once we are united, we will reign up my eyes so fresh evident.
27:50And the world will be a rage of flames at our feet.
28:02We will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so that we will reign up my eyes so