- 20 hours ago
BROOKESIDE 2000 -E2325- Brookside and other TV Classics
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:26Let's go
00:30Good morning, sir.
01:09Oh, by the way, I've asked Chucky Corkill to babysit this evening.
01:12Oh, what on earth?
01:13Well, no, I've booked a table for six o'clock, so we can get home in time to buy the
01:17children.
01:18Oh, but we've got a fridge full of food.
01:20I mean, why do we need to go out?
01:22I wanted to talk to you.
01:23Oh, it's about the restaurant.
01:25Please, just human me, please.
01:27Oh, OK.
01:28Great.
01:29But I don't see why we need to talk.
01:31I mean, I'd have thought the job of maitre d' was pretty straightforward.
01:36Be really careful with your notes.
01:37People are always trying it on.
01:38Hey, mate, that was a 20.
01:39Just keep them on top of the till while you do your change.
01:41Be on the safe side.
01:42OK.
01:42I mean, it's quiet.
01:43Use a bit of nose.
01:44Wipe the tables.
01:45The asses.
01:46Even polish the optics.
01:47Try not to stand still.
01:48It does all Jackie's head in.
01:48All right.
01:49Anyone underage is a definite no-no, including your girlfriend.
01:52All right.
01:52Any spillages, breakages?
01:53Write them in the book.
01:54Any questions?
01:55It tends to be tea break.
01:57No, actually.
01:58All right, then.
01:58Let me get stuck.
01:59Give us a shot.
02:01Well, erm, there is one thing I don't understand.
02:04Yeah?
02:04Chinese writing.
02:17Oi!
02:21I just not say it to me face.
02:23What?
02:24I bet you, I've got the council and the dole and the busies on your friends and family,
02:29haven't you?
02:30I've no idea what you're talking about.
02:32Excuse me.
02:32I'm on my way to work.
02:33Oh, lucky you.
02:34Yeah, but some of us don't have jobs to go to.
02:37Oh, no.
02:37Some of us have to throw ourselves into other things.
02:40Other projects.
02:41What is this?
02:42Don't play the innocent with me.
02:45You've been on to the council about my art, haven't you?
02:48Eyesore, isn't it?
02:49Yes, to people like you.
02:51Eyesore?
02:51Well, that stupid thing.
02:52Why bother?
02:53Hey, what's it to you?
02:54What arm is it doing to you?
02:56For your information, it wasn't me.
02:58I've got more important things to do with my time.
03:01Besides, it's quite a conversation piece and friends call around with that.
03:04Oh, that's just the loon next door.
03:07Yeah, well, through your two penneth worth then about my shed, though, didn't you?
03:11Yeah, well, I reckon it was you and you're just bottling it, aren't you?
03:14Why would I call the council?
03:16It's not my house.
03:17I don't care what you build.
03:18And if I did, I'd have taken a sledgehammer two weeks ago.
03:22What was all that about?
03:23No.
03:24Some no-mark's been on to the corpy about me arch.
03:28And you reckon it was him?
03:29No.
03:31Not anymore, I don't.
03:32I don't know who it was.
03:33Well, it'd be poisoning your prescriptions from now on.
03:36Oh, come on, Jim.
03:37It could have been anybody.
03:37It could have been the bin men on the rounds.
03:39You're not supposed to notice any irregularities.
03:51Oh, Mr. Johnson.
03:53Sorry to have kept you.
03:54Could you make sure these catch the lunchtime post?
03:57Would you like to come in?
03:58I thought but to make a day of it.
04:21What is going on?
04:23Why aren't you at school?
04:24Hiya, Nan.
04:25I've just come home for my lunch.
04:28I gave you dinner money on Monday.
04:30Have you spent it all?
04:31Oh, no.
04:32I came home to get me assignments.
04:35Have you won the lottery or something?
04:38Oh, yeah.
04:39How are ya?
04:41Where did this look come from?
04:42Oh, erm, that's off Tim.
04:45My shoes, I borrowed them off Sharon.
04:48And the slap.
04:49And that's Kirsty is Sharon's mum.
04:51She works in the counter in town.
04:52But those shoes are not suitable for school.
04:54You wreck your spine.
04:55And you shouldn't be caked in make-up at your age.
04:57It's not healthy.
04:59It's only better lipping on,
05:00and I'll put my trainees on in a minute.
05:01Anyway, I'd better be going.
05:02How did it go last night?
05:03Did you get your project finished?
05:05Oh, nearly.
05:07Yeah, them Victorians.
05:09God, they're amazing.
05:11And I think we're going to have too much as well.
05:14Oh, that's brilliant, Em.
05:15Well, better too much than too little.
05:17At least it shows your teachers are taking an interest.
05:19Oh, erm, I'm going back round to Sharon's tonight to finish it off.
05:22Don't be too late.
05:23I won't.
05:24I hope I get a good mark.
05:26Oh, I'm sure you will, love.
05:28And anyway, even if you don't, you've done your best,
05:30and that's the most important thing.
05:32Well done, Em.
05:33Your dad would be proud of you.
05:41Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to give gifts to the school.
05:45Unless you're like a deep fat fryer.
05:46It isn't a question of gifts.
05:48You seem to be under the impression that parents can buy their children out of trouble.
05:52Well, now Tamara's father whipped out the old chapbook.
05:55That seemed to do the trick all right, didn't it?
05:57Mr. Donaldson's gift was a very generous gesture,
05:59but it had nothing whatsoever to do with Tamara's minor misdemeanor,
06:02despite what you think.
06:04Well, she did drugs, didn't she?
06:05All seems pretty black and white to me.
06:07In fact, everything about this whole fiasco seems pretty black and white.
06:11That's ridiculous and deeply offensive.
06:14Is it?
06:14We had a contract with your daughter.
06:16We expect certain basic levels of good conduct.
06:18This isn't anything to do with her behaviour.
06:21She's the wrong colour.
06:22You know that's rubbish.
06:25I'm appalled you can sit there and accuse me of racist practices.
06:28And I'm appalled that my daughter's been expelled.
06:30I've consulted with the Board of Governors,
06:31and they're totally satisfied that Gemma's been treated fairly.
06:34There's a surprise.
06:35And what's their position on Tamara?
06:38Tamara was Red the Riot Act.
06:40Oh.
06:41Not allowed to see her pony for a week?
06:47The only colour you like is the colour of money.
06:51That's slanderous.
06:52Then talk to your solicitor,
06:53cos I'll be talking to mine.
06:55I'm not letting this drop.
07:00You know,
07:01I'd love to be able to say that the press would have a field day with this.
07:05They're not interested.
07:06She's just another black kid, isn't she?
07:08Ideas above her station.
07:15It must be a juicy read.
07:18It's one word for it.
07:19It's about the new drop-in medical centre I'm involved with.
07:22Oh, yeah, my dad was talking about that.
07:23He reckons he's never going off the queue again.
07:25Hmm.
07:26In theory.
07:27Cracker doesn't always mean better.
07:29It's got to be better than sitting down some poxy waiting room.
07:32People coughing up greenies everywhere, ain't it?
07:35Yeah.
07:36Listen.
07:37What do you think is better?
07:39A fast food or a carefully prepared meal?
07:42It just depends who's cooking it and how hungry you are, I suppose.
07:45I just don't think that speed is the be-all and end-all.
07:48I mean, yeah, perhaps you have to wait longer at your GPs, but at least here's a bit of your
07:52history.
07:52Your case notes.
07:53There's a bit of insight.
07:55Well, my doctor can't wait to get me out of there.
07:57I remember one time going in there, he was still standing.
07:59He had the door to jar and he scribbled out some prescription for me.
08:02That's appalling.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Bit of gold on, innit?
08:04Well, can't excuse that, but...
08:07Look, at least he knows what you're allergic to.
08:09I mean, these doctors and nurses at the drop-in centres, they'll be working in the dark.
08:13They have nothing but the patient's word to go on.
08:16Well, my dad's going to love that.
08:17So, if you've got such a downer on it, how come you're getting involved?
08:20Because I've got such a downer on them.
08:22I reckon if I split my time between the practice and the drop-in here on the parade,
08:26then perhaps I can provide some sort of continuity of care.
08:29Where's Victoria?
08:30Oh, she's in good form.
08:31Thanks.
08:32She's busy at work.
08:33They've given her one of their biggest accounts, so, you know.
08:36Nice one.
08:36Yeah.
08:37It's great, isn't it?
08:38You don't look too happy yourself, though, mate.
08:40Me?
08:41Oh, I'm fine.
08:42Just getting on with my life.
08:43Taking a page out of Vic's book.
08:51Oh, all right there, Jim.
08:53Permanence, Ray.
08:55Gonna make it permanent, lad.
08:58What's that, mate?
08:59Me art.
09:02Is Greg's stuff still out in the garage or what?
09:04Yeah, but, erm...
09:05Got any cement?
09:07Erm...
09:13I hope you've paid for that.
09:15What are you doing?
09:16Mike'll kill me, you'll get me the sack.
09:18I made sure he came when he was on his break.
09:21He didn't fail me.
09:22I, erm...
09:23I've been a bit busy.
09:26I suppose I'll forgive you this one time.
09:29All my mates have been dead jealous.
09:31Have they asked how you got the money?
09:33I told them that my dad left it to me.
09:37Hey, what are you doing?
09:37You can't stop here.
09:39A cappuccino, please, bartender.
09:41And some fries.
09:42I'll make it quick.
09:42I've got double French to get to the savvy.
09:46Look, I know it's awful to think somebody's got it in for you like that.
09:49But this just doesn't make sense.
09:51Oh, stop the council.
09:52It's my garden and I'll do what I like.
09:54It could turn very nasty, Jim.
09:56Never mind.
09:57Freedom of speech.
09:58What about freedom of expression?
10:01You could end up in court.
10:02Ha!
10:03So what?
10:06Yes, well...
10:07I would like to see them try and knock this down now.
10:10Ha!
10:11This will be here long after we've all gone.
10:15You should go and change.
10:17I've got to go and see the solicitor about my house, you know.
10:20Oh, aye.
10:22Moving on, eh, Ray?
10:24Very wise.
10:25Because people round here would stab you in the back as soon as look at you.
10:29Oh, come on, Jimmy.
10:30You can't write off all your friends and neighbours
10:32just because of one coward who hasn't got the decency to say it to your face.
10:37They want hanging?
10:39I put my heart into this.
10:41Look, why don't you come back with us?
10:43You can keep me company while Ray's out.
11:12I...
11:13Hey!
11:13You're going to get me to suck you?
11:14Uh, yeah.
11:15Mike's all right anyway, he doesn't even know I'm here.
11:22No way.
11:24Shut up, was it even that stupid?
11:27Sorry.
11:29Brave, you've had loads today.
11:31Are my own rations?
11:33Just one of the cards, because then they'll point a finger at you.
11:36Good thinking, Einstein.
11:37I want the bags, the handbags.
11:43Cheers.
11:45Cheers to the restaurant and to us.
11:46Cheers.
11:48Oh, isn't it great to have some time together?
11:52Shall we order? I'm worried about Harry's coffee.
11:57Can't I just go back to me old school?
11:59No, you can't, babe.
12:03Please, Dad, I promise all me assignments of being on town, please.
12:07Look, Gemma, I've made my mind up.
12:09You're going and that's final, so get used to it.
12:12I'm not going.
12:13And, hey, you make sure that you behave yourself.
12:16Just because it's a state school doesn't mean they'll stand for any of your nonsense.
12:20I feel ashamed.
12:21I wish you meant that.
12:24But you see, as I was saying, if we are to progress, then you'll need my expertise.
12:30And I want you to know that I'm willing to help in every way I can.
12:33Oh, well, that's very good of you.
12:36Will two suits be enough for Maitre D?
12:39Yes.
12:41So, what do you think?
12:44Well, I thought one on and one at the dry cleaners.
12:46Of course, if you could make...
12:48No, for God's sake, you know what I mean.
12:49What do I think?
12:51Oh, now, there's a question.
12:52I think you've got a damn cheek.
12:56What do you mean?
12:57Bringing me here under false pretenses.
12:59No, no.
13:00No, all I'm saying is, is that I'm offering you the benefit of my experience.
13:04You just can't bear it, can you?
13:06No.
13:06The blow to your ego is actually a very good job with a lot of responsibility.
13:11Yes, for some...
13:12I can do it with my eyes closed.
13:14I've got far more to offer our partnership.
13:16There is no partnership, Max.
13:17You are not my co-pilot.
13:19You are my trolley dolly.
13:22Where are you going?
13:24Home.
13:25And don't follow.
13:26I don't want any histrionics.
13:28I just want a Maitre D.
13:29Take it or leave it.
13:41Come on.
13:46As is gonna...
13:52Come on.
13:53The people are sweet.
14:06She's been thrown in the back, you know.
14:08Has she, yeah?
14:10Mate, la.
14:14Don't worry, I'm going to come and see what time he's finishing.
14:17Yeah, and it's not yet, so I'll see you later on, yeah?
14:27Like that, is it?
14:29What's the opposite of as happy as Larry?
14:32I don't know. I thought things were looking up.
14:35I've had a disaster at work.
14:37Why, what happened?
14:39Douglas, my boss, has taken me off the Tyrell account.
14:42For my own good.
14:43Well, you've been to a lot, Vic.
14:45It might be for the best. It might slow you down a bit, eh?
14:48I don't want to slow down.
14:49If I slow down, I'll start thinking, and that won't do.
14:53Well, at least he hasn't sacked you.
14:54Yeah, I suppose.
14:56It was so humiliating, though.
14:58When I came out of his office, no one looked at me.
15:00They were all suddenly really interested in what was on their desks.
15:03And he didn't give you a reason why?
15:06Well, basically, I scare the clients.
15:12I'll stick a double in there, Mike.
15:13Have one for yourself.
15:15Make it a large one, Mike, when you're ready.
15:18Mike, you're failing miserably in your role as host here.
15:22Sorry.
15:22Oh, hi. I'm Max Farnham.
15:24We're neighbours.
15:26Victoria Wilcox.
15:27Tipsy, but nice.
15:45Um, not much in that bag.
15:48Because I have a bit of fun with this.
15:50If it's fun, you're after.
15:52I've been working hard all day.
15:54It's not my problem, is it?
15:55Why are you doing funny with me?
15:57Do you really think I'm going to do it in here?
15:58Why not, like?
16:01My first time.
16:02In a garage.
16:04Yeah, what's wrong with it?
16:06It's minty.
16:08I want it to be somewhere really special.
16:12Oh, like a motel?
16:15No.
16:16A stately home or a castle.
16:19Yeah, and that's going to be dead easy to get sorted, isn't it?
16:22Five-star hotel, I'd do.
16:25Wimey.
16:26Dimey.
16:27Give me some dead flash jewellery over a four-course dinner.
16:30Must have sounded interesting.
16:33And then...
16:35Carry me upstairs to our room.
16:37And then throw me onto a four-poster bed.
16:39Yeah, and then what?
16:42Then we'll do it, you divvy.
16:45What a sweet time.
16:46I'm supposed to manage all that.
16:49I don't know.
16:50But as my mum says, where there's a will, there's a way.
16:56So you're living in that house with your ex.
16:58I mean, that sounds a bit icky.
17:01But so are you, you cretin.
17:04Yes, I am.
17:10Anyway, I went in to see my boss.
17:11I thought he was going to tell me about the account.
17:13Oh, you poor thing.
17:14If I can't talk to the clients, then who does that leave?
17:18Office captors.
17:20We haven't got one.
17:21It's all orange gerberas and clear vases.
17:25Yeah, it would be, wouldn't it?
17:29I've had a terrible year.
17:32Join the club.
17:34Susanna doesn't want me.
17:36Which, of course, makes her racist.
17:42No, I love her, you know, but trying to persuade her of that, well, it...
17:50Frankly, it's pointless.
17:56Maybe it's time to admit defeat.
18:02Maybe you're right.
18:05Excuse me, miss, but they are clean.
18:08Now then, have I missed anything crucial?
18:11I couldn't tell you.
18:12I was miles away.
18:18The solicitor reckoned that it might take a couple of months for everything to go through,
18:22you know.
18:23Oh, well.
18:25I could hand it over to an estate agent, but I'd rather oversee it myself.
18:35Max Brygraves lives in Bournemouth, apparently.
18:38Yeah, and that Matthew thingy, what's his name?
18:40There's stars in your eyes.
18:42Oh, Matthew Kelly, I like him.
18:43Matthew Kelly, yeah.
18:44Yeah.
18:44Hey, listen.
18:46When you come down, I mean, if you want to, we could go out star spotting on the front.
18:50Yeah.
18:52It's a long way, though, isn't it?
18:58Oh, you make a lovely brew.
19:00Well, practice, as they say, makes perfect.
19:04It's just a long time for some time to get used to the idea of this.
19:07And look forward to tomorrow, because we're too blind to realise that we're meant to be living it today.
19:12I'll, er, I'll finish off that bathroom before I go.
19:15Oh, I'm not sure about that, love.
19:17Margie might get upset.
19:19Well, I won't change anything.
19:21It's Craig.
19:22He didn't finish off the tally, you know.
19:24I'll, er, I'll be able to do it.
19:26There's no bother.
19:27Thanks.
19:29Is it a big job?
19:30No, but I'd like to do it properly.
19:33And then there's the, er, the, er, the shower rail, you know.
19:37What's left of it.
19:39Hey, come on.
19:43You spoil me.
19:44Well, somebody should.
19:49Jessie, I'll...
19:52You first.
19:54Well...
19:54Hey, Nan.
19:55Stacey, two-x-a-mile marry a couple.
19:58Erm, any hot water?
20:01Yes.
20:02And what about the clean towels?
20:03In the most private of rooms, we will both always feel so alone because we don't...
20:10Oh, we've got the right towels, anyway.
20:12Here, let me just give it a little towel.
20:15Yeah.
20:29Oh.
20:33Oh.
20:33Oh.
20:34Oh.
20:35Oh.
20:35Oh.
20:35Oh.
20:35Oh.
20:35Oh.
20:37Oh.
20:38Oh.
20:38Oh.
20:38Oh.
20:38Oh.
20:42Oh.
20:49Oh.
20:53Oh.
21:15Susanna must be mad
21:16riding around in that big empty bed.
21:24I can't.
21:26I think you can.
21:29No.
21:33I can't do this.
21:37It's not your fault.
21:38What's wrong?
21:40Me.
21:41I'm wrong.
21:43I love my wife.
21:45I'm sorry.
22:07Please tell me this isn't how it looks.
22:09How does it look?
22:11Tacky?
22:13Assorted?
22:13Afraid it is, Doc.
22:15I'm a free agent now, or do you care?
22:17Can't you sit back and watch you destroy yourself?
22:19Well, stand back and watch then.
22:20You're drunk.
22:21Correct.
22:22It's a brilliant diagnosis.
22:24Why are you doing this?
22:26I wonder who you hate more.
22:28Me or yourself?
22:29Oh, Dr Anthony Clare.
22:33Anyway, as a medical man, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that we were careful.
22:37What do you mean?
22:38Don't play games with me.
22:39Who's playing games?
22:41Two consenting adults.
22:42A bit too much to drink maybe, but we both knew what we were doing.
22:47How do you mean careful?
22:50I'm going to bed.
22:51A bit late for that, isn't it?
22:53Did you have sex with him?
22:55Did you?
22:58Yes.
23:01We did the business.
23:05Fornicated.
23:07He only dismissed us.
23:12No, I don't believe you.
23:14I don't care whether you believe me.
23:17He was great.
23:19Just what the doctor didn't order.
23:31Do you have credit cards?
23:34You don't.
23:35Well, the name on the card is Susanna Morrissey.
23:38We have a few crosswords and you go out and grab the nearest passing female.
23:42Which I totally recognise and got myself out of.
23:45You're wearing the wrong.
23:46Jackie's a mate.
23:47She won't think what I did was a sack and a fence.
23:49You can buy the Jerome's car.
23:51I'm not doing it in a car.
23:55Stay with us.
23:56Friday's Comedy Fest is coming up.
23:58Trigger Happy TV's in half an hour.
24:00And next on for Chandler Suffers Retribution Joey Style in Friends.