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Never Mind The Buzzcocks Season 5 Episode 1
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00:00Manchester and Britpop, two seismic cultural movements.
00:04Era-defining music meets attitude, swagger and fashion.
00:07Icons were born and a country was shaped in the image of feral creativity.
00:13It wasn't about pop music. It wasn't about hedonism.
00:16It was about a country reimagining itself.
00:19It was Britain reborn.
00:25Hello, Bez. Hey.
00:30MUSIC PLAYS
00:49Hello! Hello!
00:51Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Manchester versus Britpop!
00:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:59Joining Noel on Team Britpop!
01:02I'm not scared, baby
01:05An award-winning actress, singer and Britpop queen
01:08who said that meeting David Bowie on the set of Absolute Beginners
01:11was the most erotic experience of her life.
01:14For me, it was a Bedouin tent on the Arabian Peninsula.
01:17And let's just say, those boys do not moisturise their hands.
01:21LAUGHTER
01:22And Alan Titchmarsh is mad for Pampas.
01:31Mountie Don can't get enough Wild Meadow.
01:33But for me, there's only one Supergrass.
01:35And here's their drummer, Britpop's own Daddy Goffey!
01:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:41Joining Jamali on Team Manchester tonight.
01:47A DJ, radio presenter and keyboardist
01:51for the iconic 90s band in spiral carpets
01:54who says that while touring with the band EMF,
01:57he witnessed one of them put a lime in his foreskin.
01:59Big deal.
02:00Since Sainsbury's started charging for their carrier bags,
02:02I get my weekly shop in mind.
02:04LAUGHTER
02:05It's Clint Boone!
02:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:10And their best captain for this evening.
02:15The legendary maraca man of Happy Mondays and Manchester royalty.
02:19In his heyday, he turned down Julia Roberts' advances in a club,
02:22but I suspect he probably just gobbled 14 ecstasy tablets,
02:25so it might not have been Julia Roberts,
02:27it might have been a yucca plant.
02:28And it might not have been a club,
02:30it might have been a transit van.
02:31Who knows?
02:32HE DOESN'T!
02:33IT'S BEARS!
02:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:39Over the course of this evening,
02:41we will decide once and for all
02:42which was the better cultural phenomena of the 90s,
02:45the chemical haze of Manchester
02:46or the lager-fuelled swagger of Britpop.
02:48Trigger warning,
02:49I have to mention drugs a lot tonight,
02:51otherwise we'll have nothing to talk about.
02:53Welcome, everyone.
02:54You all right?
02:55Nice to be here, lovely to be here, yeah.
02:56Lovely to have you, Clint.
02:57Baz, you all right?
02:58I'm really excited to be here.
02:59I'm gagging, aren't we?
03:00How do you feel about being team captain?
03:02I feel the pressure a bit,
03:03but I'm sure I can handle it, you know what I mean?
03:05Do you feel...?
03:06I've done bigger jobs.
03:07LAUGHTER
03:10Let's talk Manchester for a bit, Baz.
03:12A lot was made of your drug use in the 90s,
03:14you know, you must get sick of being labelled with that.
03:17Well, you know what?
03:18I've done bigger jobs in the 90s.
03:19It was actually the making of me.
03:21Well, I found a picture of you.
03:22It's lovely.
03:23Any family would be absolutely delighted with it.
03:24Have a look.
03:31Back in the day, you actually gave me a pair of your maracas.
03:34Did I?
03:35Yeah, and signed them.
03:36And when I say maracas, Greg, I mean testicles.
03:38Yeah.
03:39There is a little cabinet at home.
03:41Beth, just tell us what happened when the Happy Mondays
03:43got sent to Barbados, will you?
03:45You got sent to record an album, right?
03:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:48And paid.
03:49Well, you know what?
03:50It was being sent there because it was apparently,
03:52you know, a drug-free island.
03:54Yeah.
03:55What a mistake that was, you know what I mean?
03:57LAUGHTER
03:58My understanding of it is that you sold the recording equipment
04:01so you could buy drugs.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:04But we got a great album out of it, yeah.
04:06What did it get recorded on?
04:07Er...
04:08I think it might be an album you've imagined.
04:10LAUGHTER
04:12Bez, I can't wait to see how you lead this team.
04:15It's Bez, ladies and gentlemen.
04:16What a treat.
04:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:20Clint Boone is here.
04:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:23Some Inspiral Carpets, one of my favourite bands.
04:25You and Bez are good mates, is that right?
04:27Yeah.
04:2838 years, I think, since we met, and since then,
04:30we've, like, regularly gigged together with our bands.
04:33We'd DJ all the time, did three gigs with him last week.
04:36Proper bangers, you know what I mean?
04:38I love the Inspiral Carpets, but I just don't imagine
04:41that you were as off your heads as that lot, were you?
04:43We didn't need to.
04:44If you were just within three foot of him,
04:45you were stoned or battered or off your tits.
04:48LAUGHTER
04:49What's the maddest thing you were involved with
04:50when you were with the Inspirals?
04:52Is it the one where I shat in a teapot?
04:53That's the one, yeah.
04:54LAUGHTER
04:55It was in a hotel in Swiss Cottage.
05:03LAUGHTER
05:04I just want that to be the end of the story.
05:07LAUGHTER
05:08Why did you shat in a teapot, Tim?
05:10I was bored, I was drunk, and it was rock and roll.
05:12Tick.
05:13The three ticks.
05:14I've pissed in the kettle.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:17And that's why I never drink tea in all soul rooms.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:22In case some Ireland's been in there.
05:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:24Clint Boone, ladies and gentlemen!
05:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:27Britpop queen Patsy Kenseth is here!
05:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:35There's certain images that just sum up that period, I think,
05:41and you know the one that you're forever associated with
05:43who I think is so cool.
05:45Have a look at Patsy Kenseth back in the day.
05:47Do you remember that?
05:49It was a moment.
05:51It was a moment.
05:52It was a moment.
05:53It was a moment.
05:54Let's bring you back down to earth, though.
05:55What happened with the golf cart on the M1?
05:57LAUGHTER
05:59Liam and I had started seeing each other
06:02and it was just as What's the Story Morning Glory had come out.
06:05So it was growing, you know?
06:07Yeah.
06:08And so we went to Nebworth and did the first night
06:12and it was, you know, spectacular.
06:15And Liam and I forgot that there was a show the next day,
06:19so we decided to have a bit of a late night
06:22and nick a golf buggy from backstage
06:27and drive out onto this deserted, massive field.
06:31Liam's going, yeah, I'll do a fucking right,
06:34do a right, do a left.
06:36So I'm driving the buggy car
06:38and then next thing I know
06:40it's like we're on a main road,
06:43literally onto the M1 on a golf cart.
06:47And he's going to me, yeah, do a fucking U-turn.
06:50Do a U-turn.
06:52And I said, I can't fucking do a U-turn.
06:54It's a fucking golf buggy.
06:56What do you want me to fucking do?
06:58Anyway, the police, they pulled us over
07:01and they said, hello, Mr Gallagher,
07:04I think you've rather lost your way, haven't you?
07:07And we were both eyes out on stalks, obviously.
07:11Yes, we have, please take us back
07:14and don't come into the caravan.
07:16Because it could be contraband.
07:21If at the end of this story, Patsy,
07:23someone doesn't shit in a teapot.
07:25There's more, but I'm not going to say anything.
07:28I have to take it to the grave.
07:34Danny from Supergrass is here.
07:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:42We are young!
07:43We're not, are we, Danny?
07:44No.
07:45We're not.
07:46Was it mental with the Supergrass back in the day?
07:48Yeah.
07:49We were fairly hedonistic.
07:50Were you?
07:51Yeah.
07:52Because I've got to be honest, Danny,
07:53you've been on the show before, you're a delightful man.
07:55Yeah.
07:56I just think you're a lovely uncle who whittles in a shed.
07:58So you need to tell me some rock and roll stuff that happened.
08:01My earliest rock and roll memory was with these two.
08:04I was a big fan of Clint and Spiral Carpets when I was about 15.
08:07I did my first acid trip at one of his gigs.
08:09You took acid when you were 15?
08:11Jesus Christ, I was uncomfortable with the sherbet dab.
08:16We were chatting before about when I first met you and Gaz.
08:20Yeah.
08:21We always remembered it.
08:22Even before you became famous,
08:23we remembered these little kids, you know what I mean?
08:25And then you sat on the front of the stage right through the gig,
08:27didn't you?
08:28Like that, looking at us.
08:29I remember your singer Tom just going scruffing my head at the front,
08:32going, this is where this little mentalist at the front
08:34he ain't stopped jumping.
08:35And I was just like, yeah!
08:37My first thought would be like,
08:39why are these little two kids high on acid?
08:43Someone call their parents.
08:46Jamali, what were you up to in the 90s
08:47when this lot were all off their heads?
08:49Oh, mate, fuck, getting on it.
08:52No, I was born in 91, so I wasn't doing nothing.
08:56Don't make out you weren't having a wild time.
08:58We've got proof.
08:59Oh, fuck!
09:00Oh!
09:01Where are you going now?
09:03Wow.
09:10Let's crack on.
09:11Calm down, Baz.
09:12First question.
09:13Noel's team, your Britpop question is all about these music legends.
09:17Take a look at this.
09:18Slip inside the eye of your mind
09:23Don't you know you might find
09:26A better place to play
09:28And after all
09:33You're my wonder world
09:34You're my wonder world
09:38There they are.
09:40APPLAUSE
09:45Of course, that's right, it wouldn't be Britpop without featuring
09:47the hairy potatoes at the back of the cupboard Oasis.
09:50But can you tell me how a member of Oasis got into a pickle due to a medical complaint?
09:56Was it A, they had to cancel a gig once because Bonehead fell into a river and got Viles disease?
10:01Noel said, I'm not very good at the Manchester accent, full disclosure.
10:04There's no way!
10:05LAUGHTER
10:06HE LAUGHS
10:07HE LAUGHS
10:08HE LAUGHS
10:09HE LAUGHS
10:10HE LAUGHS
10:11HE LAUGHS
10:12HE LAUGHS
10:13HE LAUGHS
10:14HE LAUGHS
10:15HE LAUGHS
10:16HE LAUGHS
10:17HE LAUGHS
10:18HE LAUGHS
10:19There's no way the gig could have gone ahead.
10:22His hands swelled up like Mickey Mouse's and that mouse had some big fucking hands.
10:27HE LAUGHS
10:28And was it B, at the Sixth Sense premiere, Noel missed a twist as he was in the loo with IBS.
10:33He said, I spoke to that kid from the film. Afterwards, he asked, did you guess he was dead?
10:38And I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
10:41So I patted him on the head and slowly walked away.
10:44Shit film. Shit night.
10:46Although I did meet the Boddington's girl.
10:48LAUGHTER
10:49Or was it C, whilst playing Glastonbury for the first time, Liam experienced a spicy flare-up of his psoriasis on his scalp.
10:57Two fans mistook his flaky skin for coke and decided they'd hoover it up.
11:01LAUGHTER
11:02Liam said, they were taking it out of my hair and putting it on their gums and up their fucking noses.
11:07So there you go. There's your three. What do you think?
11:10WHISTLE BLOWS
11:11Did Bonehead get big hands?
11:12Well, I'd love that. I'd love it if he did have big hands.
11:15Um...
11:16I think that sounds like Noel.
11:18Yeah, but he's sort of in Noel's voice, isn't it?
11:20It's what the Boddington's girl sounds like Noel, doesn't it?
11:22Exactly. I think B. I don't think C.
11:26You don't think fans were snorting his psoriasis off his head?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:31Were you there? You might have been there.
11:33Glastonbury... Um...
11:35You were, cos look how long it's taken you to remember.
11:39LAUGHTER
11:40Well, you would know whether Liam had psoriasis of the scalp.
11:43Well, I mean, that's like asking a doctor about their patients.
11:47LAUGHTER
11:48Sounds like he was flaky as fuck.
11:50LAUGHTER
11:52I couldn't possibly tell you something like that.
11:55LAUGHTER
11:56Hey, Bez, I've been told by the researchers
11:59that you had a medical thing that made me laugh
12:01for exactly one hour afterwards.
12:02LAUGHTER
12:03What was it?
12:04Well, I had nearly the strangest rock and roll death ever,
12:07you know what I mean?
12:08A bicarbonate of soda overdose.
12:10That's right.
12:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:12Of all the things.
12:14Honestly, anyway, I had these sardines
12:18and I got this, like, really bad stomachache after
12:21I've heard, like, bicarbonate of soda sorts your eye out.
12:24So I ran downstairs, got a big heap spoon of bicarbonate of
12:28soda, put it in my water, necked it down,
12:31pushed straight away, back end, front end, sorted.
12:34The next thing, I felt this thing in my stomach.
12:36I thought, it's like, a little bit left, I'll do a bit more.
12:39LAUGHTER
12:40So I got another tablespoon of bicarbonate of soda,
12:43put it in there, neck that down, and, like,
12:46well, fucking hell, it's getting worse.
12:48I did another, I did another tablespoon of it.
12:51And next minute, I spent, like, the next, like, 24 hours,
12:55all, like, remember them volcanoes where, like...
12:58LAUGHTER
12:59You put it by, like, just froth came out of it.
13:02Yeah.
13:03LAUGHTER
13:04Yeah, yeah.
13:05And, but, you know what, I found out later,
13:07they cleaned drains out of the shit and all that, you know what I mean?
13:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:11I mean, I could have had 100 guesses...
13:13Yeah, yeah.
13:14..about what you took that almost killed you.
13:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:17OK, let's get back to the Gallaghers.
13:19They might have buried their hatchet now,
13:21but it hasn't always been the case.
13:23Noel once said about his mum,
13:24I liked her until she gave birth to Liam.
13:26LAUGHTER
13:27It's a genuine quote.
13:30Trent, Noel Gallagher was your roadie, is that right?
13:33Yeah.
13:34Did he get kidnapped? What's that?
13:36Yeah, so the minibuzz with the spirals in a knoll was in London
13:39and in a bit of a traffic jam.
13:41And about two or three vehicles ahead was a Luton van.
13:45And our drummer, Craig, had been mithering for ages
13:48for a cooler fan, you know, to cool him down on stage,
13:51and we couldn't afford one.
13:52And the one thing in the back of this van with the door open
13:55was a cooler fan in a box.
13:57LAUGHTER
13:58The van's at the red light,
13:59our buzz is a couple of vehicles behind.
14:02Craig says,
14:03No, there's one of them fucking fans that I want.
14:06Go and get it.
14:07So Noel jumps out the van,
14:08runs round to the Luton,
14:10climbs in the back of it,
14:11picks the fan up,
14:12and then the lights change to green.
14:14LAUGHTER
14:15And he fucking drives off.
14:16And Noel stood there like...
14:19Like that.
14:21So he went missing for like half an hour.
14:23And found him stood at a pedestrian crossing in Crouch End
14:26with a fucking fan in his arm.
14:28LAUGHTER
14:29OK, I think we need to get on.
14:31I think we need to guess.
14:32Have a guess.
14:33Oh, God, the question!
14:34The question.
14:35How was it?
14:36I would love it if Oasis fans were trying to snort
14:40Liam's psoriasis off of his shoulders.
14:42That's hilarious.
14:44I think B.
14:45You don't think it was maybe Bonehead's big hands?
14:47I don't remember clown hands.
14:49But you think it's number two, don't you?
14:51I think it's number two.
14:52I think it's number two.
14:53OK, I think it's C, but these two think it's B.
14:56All right, well, you are wrong.
15:01The answer is C.
15:02Oh.
15:03Wow.
15:04Liam Gallagher's fans mistook his psoriasis for cocaine.
15:09And they snorted it off him.
15:12Did anyone here go to the Oasis reunion?
15:14I did, yeah.
15:15I've never seen anything like it.
15:17The atmosphere was unbelievable.
15:19The vibe throughout the city, even through the day, was, like,
15:22biblical.
15:23I know it's a bit of a cliche, but it was just...
15:25Because it's the biggest feel-good story of the decade, isn't it?
15:28I just watched a pirate stream with someone's TikTok live.
15:31It was a little shaky, but I got the vibe.
15:34Yeah.
15:38Have you been? Did you go?
15:39No, because I watched the whole thing unfold,
15:42and it was so magical, those memories.
15:45And I haven't seen Liam for nearly 26 years,
15:50but I'm so happy for Lennon, our son,
15:53because he's just gone to watch this cultural explosion.
15:58Yeah.
15:59And I couldn't be happier for the band
16:02and for all the people that are rediscovering them.
16:04Well, it's so nice to see two brothers make up, isn't it?
16:06It's beautiful.
16:07Yeah.
16:08Because I don't know about you, I was an arsehole to my sister.
16:10Well done, Oasis! Yeah.
16:13Well done!
16:18Hard luck, Knowles team. No point for you there.
16:21Bez's team, take a look at this.
16:23Yes.
16:24The old web all the on our own
16:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
16:29Steve!
16:44Pass me the big bowl, this kid's head is massive,
16:46Tim Burgess and the Charlatans.
16:48But can you tell me what intimate experience
16:51did the band like to engage in?
16:53Was it A, before a show,
16:55the band would share a cocktail of each other's urine?
16:58Guitarist Mark Collins said,
16:59we nicknamed it Dr. Bladder's Lucky Homebrew,
17:02so that no-one knew what we were up to.
17:04God knows where the idea came from, drugs probably,
17:07but it really did change me as a man, friend and a father.
17:10Or was it B, the band would blow cocaine
17:15up each other's bum holes?
17:17The technique required one paper cone,
17:19one thick straw and one Rizla paper.
17:22They called it, genuinely, cocaine-us.
17:25A phrase coined by frontman Tim Burgess, who said,
17:30yeah, I just made it up.
17:31Two words, throw them together, portmanteau.
17:33Is that what they call it?
17:35C, was it, when stressed, the band would calm themselves down
17:39by fingering and sniffing each other's belly buttons?
17:42Bassist Martin Blunt said,
17:44it takes you out of your head and puts you right in the moment.
17:47When I pop my pinky in,
17:48I know the second I inhale that aroma,
17:50life will just make a little more sense.
17:54There it is.
17:56What do you think?
17:57Could you imagine them fingering each other's belly buttons?
17:58I could imagine, no, every one of them things happening
18:01before the show.
18:02What, sticking your finger in someone's belly button?
18:04I was going to say...
18:05I think B sounds like a waste of coke, you've just got a numb arse.
18:08LAUGHTER
18:09Isn't it good to put drugs up your bottom, Noel?
18:11Yeah, it's not bad, yeah.
18:13It's sport, it's sportful.
18:14LAUGHTER
18:15Apparently Stevie Nicks roadie used to blow coke for her arse.
18:18Famous for it, yeah.
18:19McDonald, McDonald's straw, poof!
18:22I mean, the thing is, I wouldn't know,
18:25but you want to make sure that you blow and you don't suck.
18:29LAUGHTER
18:30That's, that's really...
18:32I've got to be honest, Patsy, you don't need to be an expert
18:34to know that.
18:35LAUGHTER
18:37All this chat about blowing coke,
18:38get someone to blow cocoa, you asked me,
18:40I don't actually have any real good friends.
18:42LAUGHTER
18:43I can't think of one friend that I could call up and be like,
18:45brother, I need a hit.
18:46No, no.
18:47I'm like, wait, no.
18:48No.
18:50Like, as you think of the fault,
18:51you get a knock on the doorbell and it's Noel with a straw.
18:53LAUGHTER
18:55LAUGHTER
18:57What about this notion that they might have drunk each other's piss?
18:59Drunk each other's piss?
19:01I don't...
19:02It's a thing, that, though, isn't it?
19:04People on these weird things and they drink their own piss and all that.
19:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:08What I don't understand is how are they benefiting
19:10from drinking each other's piss?
19:12Like, I like the smell of my belly button, I get that,
19:14and I can imagine that blowing coke up my arsehole
19:16would probably be nice.
19:18LAUGHTER
19:20It'd be easy to do your arse up.
19:22LAUGHTER
19:24I'm glad you made it clear it was a tall thing.
19:25I thought you were just saying I had a big arsehole.
19:27LAUGHTER
19:28What do you think, Bez?
19:29Yeah, I'm not too sure.
19:30It's really...
19:31I'd like...
19:32I'd...
19:33I'd...
19:34I'd worried that they were doing any of them three things before AK.
19:35LAUGHTER
19:36Or all of them.
19:37Yeah, yeah.
19:38But, er...
19:39It would be, it would definitely be.
19:40Before we find out if you're right, how do you know?
19:41It's in Tim's...
19:42It's in Tim's...
19:43It's in Tim's...
19:44It's in Tim's...
19:45It's in Tim's...
19:46It's in Tim's...
19:47It's in Tim's...
19:48It's in Tim's...
19:49It's in Tim's...
19:50It would be, it would definitely be.
19:51But, er...
19:52Before we find out if you're right, how do you know?
19:53It's in Tim's book.
19:54Oh.
19:55Yeah, that'll do it.
19:56LAUGHTER
19:57APPLAUSE
19:58LAUGHTER
19:59APPLAUSE
20:00LAUGHTER
20:01APPLAUSE
20:03Right, let's lock it in. It's B.
20:05Yeah.
20:06You're right, it's B!
20:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:11The bands would blow coke up each other's arses
20:15and the activity was called cocaine us.
20:17LAUGHTER
20:18OK.
20:19Well done, Bez.
20:20You've got a point!
20:21Hey!
20:22It's Ben's team!
20:23Come on!
20:24APPLAUSE
20:27Time for a little break.
20:29We'll see you in a bit.
20:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:39Welcome back to Nevermind The Buzzcocks.
20:41Manchester versus Britpop.
20:43The show that proudly refused to cut down on your pork life
20:46and get some exercise.
20:47And you know why?
20:48Cos pork's delicious.
20:49Live fast, die young.
20:50Next up, it's the intros round.
20:51Bears and Jamali, on your feet, please.
20:53You'll be performing the intro of a song to Clint.
20:56And remember, Clint, it is the title of the song we're looking for.
21:01Yeah, you ready? Go on.
21:02Here we go.
21:03Song one.
21:04Take it away, boys.
21:05Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
21:35It's getting close.
21:37Sadly for you, that's your guess. Resurrection is not the right answer.
21:40I'm passing it over. Is it Stone Roses?
21:42Is it Waterfall? I'm not telling you.
21:44Waterfall? It's not Waterfall.
21:46Ah, you're wrong. It was, I want to be adored by the Stone Roses.
21:49Ah!
21:50Here's how it should have sounded.
21:56Yeah. Pretty good, though, wasn't it?
21:58I want it.
22:02I should have got it.
22:04When Beth said I want to, I should have got it.
22:06Yeah.
22:07That was the Stone Roses with I want to be adored.
22:10Front man Ian Brown said we've got to ban all air-freighted food.
22:14Carrots from Holland, potatoes from Egypt.
22:16It's all got to stop.
22:18And then he devoured a big bag of drugs transported
22:20from a Colombian man's bottom.
22:22Next one, please.
22:25Bez, Jamali, take it away.
22:27We've got to do it quick because it's going to leave
22:30Bez's mind like I see it.
22:34You start it, Bubba.
22:35Er...
22:43I'm doing the old tune.
22:44Yeah, that's nice.
22:48You did the last song and then my part of it.
22:50Yeah, yeah.
22:53Stay off the bike up, kids.
22:55And you start it.
22:57Go on.
22:58Buff...
23:00Blum...
23:04Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
23:08Blum, blum, blum, blum, blum.
23:12Bez, we're doing this song.
23:13All right.
23:15LAUGHTER
23:18That's really what you would do! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:20I fell like they'd lessen vom.
23:22Come on, then. One more time!
23:24Come on.
23:25Bum. Bum-bum-bum!
23:27Bum-bum-bum!
23:29Bum-bum-bum!
23:30Sorry? Can I interrupt?
23:32Yeah, yeah, you can. Just to help Clint out.
23:34It could not sound less like this.
23:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:37LAUGHTER
23:42I'm passing that over, Clint doesn't know.
23:44Give me a title of a song and let's put everyone out of their misery.
23:46Any song?
23:47Ring of Fire. It's got to be a Manchester.
23:49So close.
23:51Strap yourselves in. What about Step On?
23:53It was Step On by the Happy Mondays. Yeah! Go on, Dan.
23:55I just got that. Too late. Too late.
23:58Too late. Too late. Too late.
23:59Too late.
24:00That was Happy Mondays and Step On.
24:03Here's how it should have sounded.
24:10Oh, that's what I meant to do.
24:12Woo!
24:13I forgot how it's done.
24:15Yeah, yeah, I know.
24:17That was the Happy Mondays with Step On.
24:19And for the avoidance of doubt, when I say the Happy Mondays,
24:22I mean Bez's band.
24:26Bad luck. You guessed none correct.
24:33Right, Noel and Danny, it's your turn to perform to Patsy.
24:36So on your feet, please.
24:37Hello.
24:38As always, Patsy, it's the title of the song we're looking for.
24:41Yeah.
24:42I'll do the drums.
24:43Are you ready?
24:44Off you go.
24:45Gsh.
24:46Gsh.
24:47Gsh.
24:48Gsh.
24:49Gsh.
24:50Gsh.
24:51Gsh.
24:52Gsh.
24:53Gsh.
24:54Gsh.
24:55Gsh.
24:56Gsh.
24:57Gsh.
24:58Gsh.
24:59Gsh.
25:00Gsh.
25:01Gsh.
25:02Gsh.
25:03Gsh.
25:04Oh, I know it.
25:05I know it.
25:06Oh, my.
25:07Oh, my baby.
25:13Sounds like a song from Oliver.
25:15It was originally.
25:16Oh, my darling.
25:17No, incorrect. Pass it over. What's it called?
25:19Tender. Tender is correct!
25:21Yeah, come on, Peter. Right!
25:23It was Tender by Blair.
25:25No, I should have sang it.
25:29You did very well.
25:31But they stole it.
25:33Yeah, good.
25:35Does he not say I'm my darling?
25:37Yeah, he thinks I'm my darling.
25:39Yeah, he thinks I'm my darling.
25:41MUSIC
25:46That was Tender by Blair, which was kept off the number one spot
25:49by Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time.
25:51Not because it was a better song,
25:53but because in the video, Britney was dressed as a sexy schoolgirl.
25:56And in the late 90s, casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.
26:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:08Talking about that...
26:10LAUGHTER
26:12Yeah, go on.
26:13No, our band was kept off number one by R Kelly.
26:16Yeah.
26:17Maybe I want to start a campaign that's actually going to
26:19take him off number one and reinstate us to number one.
26:21Negret.
26:22I agree.
26:23Quite right.
26:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:27All right, song two, take it away.
26:29Oh, yeah, this is...
26:31BING!
26:32BING!
26:33BING!
26:34BING!
26:35BING!
26:36BING!
26:37BING!
26:38BING!
26:40BING!
26:41BING!
26:42BING!
26:43BING!
26:44BING!
26:45BING!
26:46BING!
26:47BING!
26:48BING!
26:49Is this Elastika...
26:50...and it are...
26:51...connected?
26:53Well, you are right!
27:00It was Connection by Elastica. Here's how it should have sounded.
27:04MUSIC PLAYS
27:20That was Elastica and Connection,
27:22as opposed to a poor connection with elastic,
27:24which is what my uncle claimed in court
27:26when he was arrested for exposing his genitals in parts.
27:29Fortunately, it was the late 90s,
27:31so casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.
27:39You got one right!
27:43Well done, guys. Thank you.
27:46We did have easier ones, I think.
27:48I don't know how much of it was down to them being easier
27:51and how much of it was down to not having best.
27:56I agree with that. No.
27:58No, no, he's right. He's not.
28:01LAUGHTER
28:03And at the end of that round,
28:04Noel's team have one point!
28:06Bez's team have two points!
28:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:11Our next round is called ID Parade,
28:14where our panel must identify a Madchester and Britpop legend.
28:18Noel's team, here's your line-up.
28:20For the audience at home, take a look at this.
28:22MUSIC CONTINUES
28:23MUSIC CONTINUES
28:27That was the brilliant EchoBelly with
28:29I Can't Imagine The World Without Me.
28:30But can you tell me which of our line-up is their bass player,
28:31Alex Keezer?
28:33That was the brilliant Echo Belly with I Can't Imagine The World Without Me,
28:44but can you tell me which of our line-up is their bass player, Alex Kieser?
28:49Is it? Number one, Echo Belly.
28:51Number two, Andrea Bocelli.
28:59Number three, Erotic Dreams About Lorraine Kelly.
29:03Number four, why are my fingers always so smelly?
29:09Or number five, I feel so lonely, please rub my belly.
29:13There you go, Noel.
29:15That is a selection of very different men.
29:18Yeah.
29:19Is there anyone we can rule out early duels?
29:24Well, I remember playing lots of gigs back in the day with these...
29:28You did play gigs with them? Yeah.
29:30I know it's not number five because I reckon I've been out on loads of mad benders with him.
29:35With number five?
29:36Mm-hm.
29:37Yeah, I'm not sure he's the bass player in Echo Belly.
29:40Oh, all right.
29:41So you've been on the piss for number five, but you might not be in Echo Belly.
29:44LAUGHTER
29:46Is this the bass player?
29:48Bass player from Macombat.
29:49Because from this angle, number one looks like he hasn't got any arms.
29:51Yeah.
29:56Number two is speaking to me.
29:58Is he?
29:59He's speaking to me as well.
30:01He looks like he doesn't love nothing but the sea.
30:05Number two.
30:06Stares at the ocean.
30:10You get a lot of tall bass players.
30:11Tall bass players.
30:12Yeah, you do.
30:13I'd say number three.
30:14I think number three looks like he's capable of killing.
30:17LAUGHTER
30:18What do you think about number four?
30:23Number four, if he was in Echo Belly, then I'll be very shocked.
30:28LAUGHTER
30:30I feel like number four is a junior if you rub a vape.
30:33LAUGHTER
30:42So, seriously, Danny, you think you've been on the piss with number five,
30:45but he's not in the band?
30:47He's not in the band.
30:48Listen, I've been on benders with a lot of people
30:51and I've definitely been on the bender with him.
30:53All right.
30:54No C. Final answer.
30:55Let's go.
30:56You choose.
30:57I'd say three.
30:58I'd say three as well.
30:59I'd back you.
31:00OK.
31:01Lock it in.
31:02Number three.
31:03Number three.
31:04Locked in.
31:05Will the real Alex Kieser please step forward?
31:09Oh, it's number four.
31:10Fuck.
31:11You're a trickster, aren't you?
31:12You're a trickster.
31:13This is different times, though.
31:14This is different times.
31:15Oh.
31:16Alex, thanks for coming on.
31:17You're welcome.
31:18What's happening?
31:19Are you Echo Belly playing at the moment?
31:20No.
31:21OK.
31:22LAUGHTER
31:23Let's hear it for Alex Kieser and the rest of the later!
31:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:28OK.
31:29There's this team.
31:30Your turn for the audience at home.
31:31Take a look at this.
31:32So silly things Are always easy to blame Try to grow up Don't always be the same
32:01That was Paris Angels with Perfume.
32:08Bez's team.
32:09What I want to know is which of our line-up is the singer Ricky Turner from the band?
32:14Is it?
32:15Number one.
32:16Perfume.
32:17Number two.
32:18Fart.
32:19Number three.
32:20Eggie.
32:21Number four.
32:22Burn.
32:23Number five.
32:24Binge juice.
32:27Over to you, Blaz's team.
32:28What do you reckon?
32:29I think number four requested the biggest jeans they had.
32:30Yeah, yeah.
32:31LAUGHTER
32:32Fuck me.
32:33They are big.
32:34Fuck.
32:35They create their own ecosystem.
32:36Fuck me.
32:37I don't fucking do it.
32:38What do you mean?
32:39Number five looks so comfortable in that hat.
32:40Raw?
32:41Yeah, I feel bad for number five.
32:42He shouldn't be here.
32:43He should be in the crowd for time team.
32:44What about number three's hat?
32:45Is that a Manchester hat?
32:46It looks like a lovely old lady's sun hat.
32:47LAUGHTER
32:48Let's have some facts.
32:49Ricky lives in Manchester.
32:50Oh, here we go.
32:51The research has been at work.
32:52LAUGHTER
32:53There we go.
32:54Ricky's favourite colour is black.
32:55Oh, hang on.
32:56This is interesting.
32:57Ricky is terrified of sponges.
32:58He doesn't like how they feel.
32:59It nauseates him.
33:00Who might be scared of sponges?
33:01I'm just drawing.
33:02I think the same thing is that she's looked at.
33:05Yeah, yeah.
33:06It's not so important.
33:07I don't know.
33:08You've seen it in the picture.
33:09No...
33:10No, no, no.
33:11No, no.
33:12No, no, no.
33:13No, no.
33:14No, no.
33:15It's not just.
33:16It's not that you're worried.
33:17No.
33:18No, I'm just drawing.
33:19No, it's not that you seem to get in there.
33:20Yeah?
33:21No.
33:22It's not like how it feels.
33:23No.
33:24No, we don't.
33:25It's not that you're worried.
33:26No.
33:27I'm just drawing that I'd think they're afraid of.
33:28I'm just drawing, I think it's number one, man.
33:31That's a Mancunian face right there. Look at him.
33:33He's the final boss.
33:35LAUGHTER
33:37All right, well, don't take your final guess
33:39until I give you this fact here.
33:41LAUGHTER
33:43This is fucking mental.
33:45LAUGHTER
33:46If Ricky could travel back in time,
33:48he would love to show a caveman, a 1980s ghetto bluster.
33:51LAUGHTER
33:54Well, we've got history with the Paris Angels.
33:57And I have as well. Yeah, so I know Ricky.
34:00Oh.
34:01But whoever's styled him for this...
34:03You know what, I was like that,
34:05which one's Ricky there, you know what I mean?
34:07Do you think he might be number two?
34:09He's a really good-looking lad.
34:11Oh, can we have a different line-up?
34:13LAUGHTER
34:15OK, final guess.
34:17I think number one.
34:18Bears, team captain?
34:20Well, obviously, I want to agree with number one.
34:22What do you think, Clint? Yeah, number one.
34:24Number one, it is.
34:25Is it number one because you know him?
34:27Well, yeah.
34:28Yeah.
34:29LAUGHTER
34:30This still could be wrong.
34:32LAUGHTER
34:33Let's find out if you're right.
34:35Will the real Ricky Turner please step forward?
34:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:41Yes, Ricky.
34:42Oh, yeah.
34:43There's this team, you're right!
34:47Ricky Turner!
34:48Bang in tune, man.
34:50Yeah.
34:51Ricky, thanks for coming on.
34:53What are you up to at the moment?
34:54I work at Spirit Studios in Manchester.
34:56Nice one.
34:57APPLAUSE
34:58Let's hear it for Ricky Turner and the rest of our guests!
35:01It's Ricky Turner!
35:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:05And at the end of that round, the Noles team have one point.
35:08And Bez's team have three points!
35:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:12Time for a break.
35:14We'll see you in a minute.
35:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:24Welcome back to Nevermind Averse Cox,
35:27Madchester versus Britpop.
35:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:31It's now time to play our new game,
35:34Uppers and Downers!
35:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:40Over there, there are two piles of cards,
35:43one with Madchester hits and one with Britpop hits.
35:46We'll show you one of each,
35:48and all you have to do is to correctly tell me
35:49which one charted higher for a point for your team.
35:52But I can't do this all by myself,
35:54I need some assistance.
35:55So, in Madchester's corner,
35:57please welcome the Madchester maraca!
36:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:09And in Britpop's corner,
36:11please give it up for Milky from Coffee and TV!
36:15Just to limit your expectations,
36:24if you think there's going to be band members inside those costumes,
36:27then forget it.
36:28It's two very badly paid members of production.
36:31LAUGHTER
36:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:34Manchester maraca, what is your first song?
36:41LAUGHTER
36:43LAUGHTER
36:44That's right, folks, the costumes are impractical.
36:47LAUGHTER
36:48LAUGHTER
36:49It's Waterfall by the Stone Roses.
36:52She's a waterfall.
36:56And Milky, you poor bastard!
36:58LAUGHTER
36:59What are you going with?
37:01Oh!
37:03It's Oasis, Supersonics.
37:04I'm a little blast of that.
37:05I'm feeling Supersonics.
37:06Give me dinner time.
37:07You can...
37:12Barry, who do we think charted higher?
37:13You can discuss it with your team-mates.
37:15Yeah.
37:17Or charted higher.
37:19We've never had teams take something so seriously.
37:22LAUGHTER
37:23It is serious, man.
37:24I'm absolutely delighted.
37:25Carry on.
37:26It's serious.
37:27I don't know.
37:28I mean, I...
37:29I don't know.
37:30I weren't around.
37:31Go on, we'll go with you.
37:32Yeah, I don't know.
37:33Give me your answer.
37:34Oasis was higher.
37:35I think we would say the same.
37:36You're both saying Oasis charted higher.
37:38Yeah.
37:39Milky, maraca, could you please reveal your chart position?
37:43Higher.
37:44Whoa, whoa.
37:46LAUGHTER
37:48Oh, this is good.
37:51This is good telly, isn't it?
37:53This is very good, yeah.
37:55Oh, man.
37:56It's going to be stone roses.
37:57You.
37:59Oh, I'm sure it's standing there for you.
38:00How are you?
38:01How are you, James?
38:02Oh, I tell you about more anyway.
38:03It's worse, isn't it?
38:04Yeah.
38:05I don't know why I don't shut my mouth.
38:06Look.
38:11Everyone's lucky I know.
38:13LAUGHTER
38:18CHEERING
38:19So, you're both wrong.
38:20Right.
38:21Shame on you.
38:22OK.
38:23Call me suspicious.
38:24I think the audience are enjoying this game for the wrong reasons.
38:26LAUGHTER
38:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:38All right, song two, Manchester Maracca.
38:51What's your next song?
38:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:59Spiral carpets.
39:00This is how it feels.
39:02So this is how it feels to be lonely.
39:03This is how it feels to be lonely.
39:07This is how it feels to be small.
39:10And Milky.
39:13Quite a confident little swagger there from Milky.
39:17Ooh, another banger.
39:20It's Pumpin' On Your Stereo by Supergrass.
39:23MUSIC PLAYS
39:30You can all have a guess.
39:31I've got no idea.
39:32Who do you think charted higher?
39:34Surely one of you two knows this.
39:36We are going for Supergrass on this one.
39:38What do you think, then, Danny?
39:40Do you think you came in higher than carpets?
39:42I don't know.
39:43I'd always go for one of my favourite ever bands
39:45in Spiral carpets, but, I don't know.
39:47What do you reckon?
39:48Well, I mean, I wasn't in either of those bands, so...
39:51LAUGHTER
39:52Well, you should have asked.
39:53You should have asked.
39:54I was second album.
39:55Pat C, what do you think?
39:56Well, I didn't marry anyone in those bands.
40:00LAUGHTER
40:01So, um...
40:02You should have asked.
40:03LAUGHTER
40:04APPLAUSE
40:10You done, eh?
40:11Do you know what your result was for that?
40:13Your chart result?
40:14I think that was 14, I think, I was.
40:16Oh, yeah.
40:17I got a feeling I was about eight, nine.
40:18Yeah, I think you were the winners on that one.
40:20Right, so you're saying Supergrass came in higher?
40:23Yeah.
40:24Supergrass is saying that they came in higher.
40:26Yeah.
40:27Right.
40:28Spiral carpets are saying that they came in slightly lower.
40:31Yeah, good.
40:32We'll go with that.
40:33Is this like me saying to you, Greg,
40:35what socks are you wearing right now?
40:37LAUGHTER
40:38I'm not thinking about my socks, I'm not thinking about the songs.
40:41Like the audience, I'm just waiting for these two pricks
40:43to have to take the...
40:45LAUGHTER
40:47Take the numbers off the front.
40:49Milky, maraca, can you please reveal your chart position?
40:54LAUGHTER
40:56They can't...
40:58He can't see.
40:59They can't see it.
41:00Hey, Milky!
41:01Oh, 11.
41:02Oh!
41:03Oh!
41:04Oh!
41:05Oh!
41:06Oh!
41:07Oh!
41:08Oh!
41:09Oh!
41:10Oh!
41:11Oh!
41:12Oh, there you go.
41:13Oh!
41:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:16You can do it.
41:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:22You were right, with your number.
41:24Yeah, yeah.
41:25I mean, who'd have thought this would be getting the biggest reaction?
41:27Pumping on your stereo peaked at number 11.
41:31Beating, this is how it feels,
41:33came in at number 14.
41:35So, both teams get a point!
41:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:43And at the end of that round,
41:44Noel's team have two points and Bez's team has four points.
41:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:50Let's say a big thank you to our fabulous assistants...
41:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:55..from Manchester, America!
41:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:07Bang on the tune.
42:08Amazing.
42:09Just listening to the music tonight, to be honest with you,
42:12it's just so joyful.
42:14I kind of don't relate to much music these days,
42:18and this has just been, like, you know...
42:20Sort of a batch of your youth.
42:22Hasn't it?
42:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:24It's a real celebration.
42:25Sorry to get all deep there.
42:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:32Right.
42:33It's time for next lines.
42:35I'll give you the first line,
42:36you tell me the next one, you get a point.
42:37Simple as that.
42:38You're up against the clock.
42:39This could be important.
42:41LAUGHTER
42:43Noel's team, you're up first,
42:45and your time starts now.
42:47Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur
42:50of what is known as...?
42:51Park life.
42:52Correct.
42:53Blur, park life.
42:54He sips another rum and coke.
42:55Cider drink.
42:56And told a dirty joke, ocean colour scene,
42:58the day we caught the train.
43:00We are young, we run green.
43:01We are free.
43:02Keep our teeth nice and clean.
43:03Keep our teeth nice and clean.
43:04Keep our teeth nice and clean.
43:05Supergrass, all right.
43:06Yes, there's love if you want it.
43:07Love if you want it.
43:08Don't sound like a sonnet.
43:10Don't sound like a sonnet.
43:11The verb, sonnet.
43:12Oh, Deborah, do you recall?
43:13The wood chip on the wall.
43:15Nope.
43:16Ah!
43:17Your house was very small.
43:18Disco 2000.
43:19She got one in the oven.
43:21Oven.
43:22Oasis?
43:23But it's nothing to do with me.
43:24Oasis, she's electric.
43:25Yeah.
43:26I don't understand how a heart is a spade.
43:30But somehow the vital connection it's made.
43:32Elastica connection.
43:33If it's good enough for you...
43:35It's good enough for me.
43:37Correct.
43:38Dodgy, good enough.
43:39Do you remember the time...?
43:41CHEERING
43:43Sorry, James.
43:44Well done, Noel's team.
43:46You've got four right.
43:47OK, Bess's team.
43:48Here's yours.
43:49You need three points to win.
43:50Come on.
43:51You're against the clock.
43:53And your time...
43:56..starts now.
43:58Oh, sit down.
43:59Oh, sit down.
44:00Oh, sit down.
44:01Sit down next to me.
44:02Correct, James.
44:03Sit down.
44:04She'll carry on through it all.
44:05She's a waterfall.
44:06The stone rose is waterfall.
44:07Don't you know, he can make you forget you're a man.
44:09You're a man.
44:10Mm-hmm.
44:11It's just a melon, man.
44:12Happy Mondays.
44:13Step off.
44:14Oh, I should have known, man.
44:16Is the way you said it?
44:18Oh, it's my fault.
44:19It was your fault, yeah.
44:21Can you dig it?
44:22Oh, yeah.
44:24Can you dig it?
44:25Yeah, correct.
44:26The muck turtles.
44:27Can you dig it?
44:28Itchy and scratchy come running up the alley.
44:30Charlotteson.
44:31If you'll be good, I'll be good to your daddy.
44:32The Charlotteson's North Country boy.
44:34Husband don't know what he's done.
44:36Kids don't know what's wrong with mum.
44:37Correct.
44:38It's spiral carpets.
44:39This is how it feels.
44:40Yippee-yippee-yay-yay.
44:42Happy Mondays.
44:43I had to crucify somebody today.
44:45Some brothers are there.
44:46I'll give it you.
44:47Happy Mondays.
44:48Kinky Afro.
44:49I can see her.
44:50Here she comes.
44:51Stone roses.
44:52Here she comes.
44:53She bangs the drums.
44:54She bangs the drums, yeah.
44:55Stone roses.
44:56She bangs the drums.
44:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:59That sound means it's the end of the round and it's the end of the show.
45:05And I can tell you that Noel's team have six points.
45:08But the winners with nine points...
45:10Bez's team!
45:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:15Thanks to Jamali, Bez, Clint, Patsy, Noel and Danny, goodnight!
45:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:37...
45:47...
45:51...
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