Never Mind the Buzzcocks Season 5 Episode 5

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Transcript

00:00Welcome

00:29Welcome to Nevermind the Buscots, the show that P. Diddy refused to come on because he thought what was going on in Jamali's dressing room was a bit much.

00:42Hey, Greg, we just started this show and you've already called me a sex criminal, brother.

00:47I'm not criminal. I'm not criminal.

00:49Pioneer. Right.

00:52Let's meet our panel, joining Jamali on Noel's team.

00:55My name's Pink and I'm pretty glad to meet you. You're recommended to me by some people.

01:03A mobo-winning singer and songwriter who started a viral trend with the lyrics,

01:06Is this illegal? It feels illegal. Well, depends what you're doing.

01:09In this country, incredibly, you can marry your first cousin legally.

01:12You can own a tiger, but you kill one swan straight to prison.

01:17Hey! Hey!

01:19Hey!

01:19It's Pink Panther!

01:29And on Sophie Willen's team tonight.

01:35A BAFTA-winning comedian, actor and writer who says he got bullied for liking the Beatles.

01:42You count yourself lucky, young man.

01:43John Lennon got shot. He's dead.

01:45You know that?

01:47Sorry to break that to you.

01:48George Harrison, dead.

01:50Ringo, not so much as a cold.

01:51The world's gone bloody mad.

01:53It's Jamie Dimitro!

01:54And on Sophie's team.

02:01On Macy!

02:02And Naughty's indie icon who says he always wears underwear.

02:07Stay alert for further updates tonight as to whether he brushes his teeth, combs his hair,

02:11and the big one, ladies and gentlemen, washes his hands after a plop.

02:14It's Luke Pritchard from The Coop!

02:25What a line-up.

02:28Welcome, everyone.

02:30Pink Pantheress.

02:35Welcome to the show.

02:36I saw Pink being interviewed about your song, Illegal, by a really sweet interview.

02:41He said, that song, it's all about a secret relationship, about you trying to keep a secret love

02:46that you dare not speak to the world.

02:48And Pink went, nah, it's about buying drugs.

02:53So what's the viral thing?

02:55What's that about?

02:56It's a viral trend, right?

02:57You don't know what a viral thing is, do you?

03:00You keep on this screaming viral thing.

03:02It's not...

03:02What the fuck are you on about?

03:03Don't try and play the fucking young person's card.

03:06You're, like, 42 now.

03:07I love what we fucking do!

03:0942, still living with his mum.

03:11Fucking heartbreaking.

03:13Tell me about the viral trend.

03:14I do know what a viral trend is.

03:16In my song, it's called Illegal.

03:17Yeah.

03:18And the very beginning of the song, it goes,

03:20my name is Pink, I'm really glad to meet you.

03:22That's it.

03:23And then everyone shakes your hand?

03:24Yeah, and that's it.

03:25Then you film it.

03:26We did one in the thing.

03:27I heard you did it with old Uncle Fester.

03:32No, I've seen you live before, like, yeah, maybe 10 years ago.

03:35Did you?

03:36Yeah, it was really good.

03:36Hang on, have you ever seen him live?

03:38I can't say I have, but that's...

03:39No, so fuck you!

03:43How old were you when you went to see Noel?

03:44Maybe that was, like, eight years ago.

03:46Maybe I was, like, 16.

03:47So you're 24 now?

03:49Yeah, I'm 24.

03:50How old are you?

03:51I'm 34.

03:52You're 34?

03:52Oh, that's pretty nice.

03:54Yeah.

03:54You live in L.A.

03:57He lives with his mum.

04:01You're very welcome to the show, though, Pink.

04:03Nice to have you.

04:04Luke, welcome to the show.

04:06Thank you so much.

04:06You always wear underwear, it says.

04:08Yeah, I mean, I'm not a never nude.

04:10I think I am a never nude.

04:11Are you a never nude?

04:12Yeah, but you're a young, good-looking man,

04:14and if you see me naked, it looks like a bag of suet.

04:18I thought that swan was your penis.

04:20Yeah.

04:22So did I.

04:24But I'm intrigued, because genuinely,

04:26I hate taking my pants off.

04:27Yeah.

04:28Who wears pants?

04:29Chamali, do you wear pants?

04:31Yeah, if I wear fucking pants.

04:34What the fuck are you on about that?

04:37Luke, I hear you once kicked Alex Turner in the face.

04:41It's true.

04:41I didn't know they were in the crowd,

04:43but when I'm on stage,

04:44this kid is, like, pulling my leads out in my pedals.

04:48So you kicked him in the face?

04:49So, like, well, like, yeah,

04:50I mean, he lightly pushed his face with my foot.

04:52LAUGHTER

04:53I got introduced to him after,

04:56and it was Alex Turner.

04:57Why did you take your lead out there?

04:58I think he's the prick in this scenario.

05:00I think it was pretty bad.

05:01It was pretty weird.

05:01Yeah.

05:02I think he deserved it.

05:03He started singing like a wall.

05:04Well, he probably deserves a kick in, doesn't he?

05:07Welcome to a show, Luke.

05:08Thanks, mate.

05:09It's really nice to have you.

05:10Jamie.

05:10Hiya.

05:11Jamie's got a connection to a music legend.

05:14Who do you think his musical friend might be?

05:17Cliff Richard.

05:18LAUGHTER

05:19What's the incredible connection between you and Cliff?

05:22When I was younger, my dad would always say,

05:24you know, I was born on the same day, same hour, same year, same everything as Cliff Richard.

05:30And I didn't know who Cliff Richard was, so I'd be like, you're joking.

05:33At the age of, like, four.

05:35Like, really?

05:35And, uh, anyway, just weirdly, life went where it went, and, um, I was asked as a sort of ten-year-old to sing on an audience with Cliff Richard.

05:46Afterwards, he went, kids, do you have any questions for me?

05:48And I was like, actually, it's not a question, but, um, my dad's actually born in the same day, same year, same month as you.

05:55Or whatever.

05:56And he went, ah, he's an October baby.

05:58And I went, February 2nd.

06:01LAUGHTER

06:02LAUGHTER

06:03APPLAUSE

06:06APPLAUSE

06:07Jamie, you used to be in a band, didn't you?

06:12Yes.

06:13I was in a band called, um, The Alpha Beat.

06:16Shout out to all the ex-members.

06:18Um...

06:18LAUGHTER

06:19We broke up when Alpha Beat came along,

06:23because, um, it was just too much effort to change the name.

06:27The thing about it was, I was just singing in a voice that wasn't my own.

06:31It was at a time where the fashion was to...

06:34Oh!

06:35And I, um...

06:36LAUGHTER

06:37But that's your voice.

06:38That's your voice.

06:40I feel like it just didn't...

06:41I'm more of a...

06:42As you've heard from my speaking voice, I'm more smooth R&B.

06:45Yeah.

06:47It's a memory that I will cherish forever.

06:50As will I.

06:50Let's crack on with the show.

06:52Sophie's team, this question's for you,

06:54and it's all about otherworldly sexy encounters.

06:57Have a look at this.

06:58Only thing I hear what you're saying

07:00You can play that game

07:02You're playing

07:04You can play that game

07:07Like a white-wing club

07:10Sing the songs and like you're singing

07:12Ooh, baby, ooh, yeah, yeah

07:15That's just your ass is fun to fuck it

07:19We know Major Tom's a junkie

07:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

07:24It's rock legend Stevie Nicks, David Bowie

07:30And the man who says that pub nuts taste better

07:32Because of the urine, Bobby Brown

07:34LAUGHTER

07:35Sophie's team, can you tell me

07:38Which of those foxy freaky deeks had a sexy encounter with the spirit world?

07:44Was it

07:44When Bobby Brown lived in a haunted mansion

07:47He was woken one night by a ghost having rigorous sex with him

07:51On his big round bed with mirrored ceilings

07:53Describing the incident in his autobiography

07:56Bobby said

07:57I could feel my penis inside her and everything

07:59Adding

08:00This was before I ever touched any drug

08:03Apart from weed and alcohol

08:04LAUGHTER

08:06Or was it B

08:08Whilst watching porn, David Bowie was visited by his spirit guide Orlando

08:12Speaking about the incident, David said

08:15He sat on the sofa next to me and started stroking his penis

08:18I said

08:19Calm down, Orlando

08:20She's not even taken her coat off yet

08:25But his stiffy was locked in

08:27By the time he ejaculated, he was shaking so much

08:29I had to give him a Jaffa cake

08:31LAUGHTER

08:32Or was it C

08:36When a group of tourists complained to security at Blackpool Pleasure Beach

08:40That Stevie Nicks had her breasts out for a full circuit of the ghost train

08:43Stevie simply winked at them and sarcastically said

08:46Ooh, spooky

08:48LAUGHTER

08:50LAUGHTER

08:51There you go, pick the bones out of that

08:53Well, I think that A and B are just a couple of blokes showing off

08:57And, um, C is just a lovely lady having some fun

09:00LAUGHTER

09:01Yeah, I'd go Stevie Nicks, actually

09:05What would you not?

09:05I was thinking Bowie

09:06I just hope it's...

09:08I mean, if you were from the other world, you'd go and see Bowie, wouldn't you?

09:11Yeah

09:12Sorry, there are people in this room who genuinely think that we're going from

09:16We know Major Tom, he's a junkie, too

09:19He was shaking so much, trying to give him a Jaffa cake

09:21Yeah, no...

09:22LAUGHTER

09:23There's something quite mundane about it

09:24Even just the, like, sat down on the couch next to me

09:27Just the idea of a spirit being like,

09:28Ah, here we go

09:29LAUGHTER

09:31There's no thrill or excitement

09:33Yeah, totally

09:34Yeah, so he's out, then

09:36LAUGHTER

09:37You two should run a detective agent

09:39LAUGHTER

09:40Yeah, but I think you're right

09:41I'm into it

09:42I'm into it

09:43And Bobby Brown, what are your thoughts?

09:45I don't have any

09:47LAUGHTER

09:48Right

09:49I can help you out, if you like, with some interesting facts

09:51Yeah

09:52Bobby Brown first

09:53It's no surprise that he became a drug addict in later life

09:56Because when he was ten, he accidentally fried chicken in cocaine instead of flour

10:01LAUGHTER

10:02Oh, my goodness, gosh

10:04He genuinely did

10:05His mum was an entrepreneur coke dealer

10:07And while she was out, he grabbed a bag of what he thought was flour

10:10He was going to give his chicken a nice coating

10:12Turned out to be coke

10:13LAUGHTER

10:14Anyone here accidentally ingested drugs?

10:16The worst one I have had was hash cookies

10:20Yeah

10:20I think that's the worst of all of them, right?

10:23Yeah

10:23I lost two and a half days

10:25Hash cakes are horrifically strong

10:27Yeah, it was deep

10:29When I was a school teacher, we did a school trip to Amsterdam

10:31And me and three other teachers sneakily ate some hash cakes

10:34And one of them started crying, saying the world had gone flat

10:38LAUGHTER

10:38And I had to walk him up and down outside just praying the kids didn't see

10:43And then he went, oh no, it's all right, the world's not flat anymore

10:47And then the world went flat to me and he had to walk me up

10:50LAUGHTER

10:51Here's a Stevie Nicks fact for you

10:55Being unfamiliar with the words, think I'll have a quiet one tonight

10:58Stevie Nicks almost went blind from partying

11:01After a two-day session to celebrate rumours going platinum

11:04Stevie forgot to take her contact lenses out

11:07And almost wore away her cornea

11:09LAUGHTER

11:10You think that's hard partying, Stevie?

11:11My Uncle Peter once had sex with 16 men in one night

11:14And he didn't even have an album out

11:16LAUGHTER

11:18OK, Sophie's team, what are you thinking?

11:21Is it Bobby Brown, the ghost

11:23Or is it David Bowie's horny spirit guide?

11:25Or is it Stevie Nicks getting a norks out on a ghost train?

11:29That David Bowie story's too sad, yeah

11:31Yeah

11:32It's not sad for a ghost to ejaculate

11:34And then get given a Jaffa cake by one of the most iconic pop stars in history

11:39It's just too normal, it's too, like, every day

11:41Do you think it could be Bobby Brown?

11:43Could be

11:44He could feel his penis moving inside a ghost and everything

11:46I believe he might have thought that happened, yeah

11:48How could you feel your penis inside a ghost?

11:50I feel like it would be cold

11:52LAUGHTER

11:52Yeah

11:53I feel like it would be, like, refreshing, but then...

11:55Uncomfortable

11:56Depressing

11:57Yeah

11:58LAUGHTER

11:59Is there a chance he just had sex with someone who was cold?

12:03LAUGHTER

12:04No, dead

12:05Well, I bet

12:06I was going to say that

12:08Jesus Christ

12:10That was horrible

12:11That was horrible

12:12I don't know what's happened

12:14Are we going that way?

12:15I went, that was, like, someone else said it

12:17That was horrible

12:18LAUGHTER

12:19Give us an answer

12:21We can't dwell on ghost

12:23Stevie Nicks

12:24I'm going to say Stevie Nicks

12:24Yeah

12:25I'm happy with that

12:27Stevie Nicks moves out on a ghost train

12:29I think so

12:30I'm afraid you're wrong

12:32Incredibly

12:33The answer is A

12:34Uh...

12:35Bobby Brown had sex with a ghost

12:37Writing in his autobiography

12:38Bobby said

12:39One night I woke up to the sensation of woman on top of me

12:42The sensation felt exactly like sex

12:44It was not a dream

12:45I was definitely awake while it happened

12:47All of a sudden she was gone

12:49Leaving me alone

12:50And incredibly excited

12:51And terrified

12:52All at the same time

12:54Hard luck there, Sophie

12:55No points for you

12:56Knowles team

12:57Take a look at this

12:58I'm walking away

12:59From the troubles in my life

13:04I'm walking away

13:06Help me when I say

13:08Hey

13:09It's murder on the door floor

13:13I gotta get through this

13:15I gotta get through this

13:17I gotta make it

13:19Gotta make it

13:19Gotta make it through

13:20Said I'm gonna get through this

13:23I'm gonna get through this

13:25That was two village idiots and Sophie Ellis Bexter

13:31But Noles team

13:32Can you tell me

13:33Which of these early noughties pop stars

13:37Once had to give something up

13:39Because of a TV show

13:41Was it

13:41A. Sophie Ellis Bexter gave up coin collecting

13:45After she saw a similar collection sale

13:47For just £50 on Dickinson's Real Deal

13:49A source told the Daily Mirror

13:51It really affected her for a few hours

13:53But by tea time

13:54She was absolutely fine

13:56Or was it

13:58B. Daniel Beddingfield gave up acting

14:00After appearing in Sabrina the Teenage Witch

14:03He said

14:04With a song

14:05I can step into the emotion

14:06Without damaging my own psyche

14:08But with acting

14:09I only know how to do full method

14:11The cast were nice

14:12But I couldn't act for shit

14:13Or was it

14:16C. Craig David gave up mayonnaise

14:18After watching Jamie Oliver make coleslaw

14:21On The Naked Chef

14:23And discovering it contained egg

14:25Craig said

14:26I had no idea

14:27No one ever told me

14:28I can't believe I've been dipping my chips in egg

14:31I've met Craig David and he's a nice man

14:35Yeah, he seems lovely

14:37Big chunky thighs as well

14:38I see

14:38I grabbed them for one beat

14:41And for that beat

14:41And that beat alone

14:43I was fully gay

14:44What noise did he make?

14:46I've got it here somewhere

14:47I actually think C is true by the way

14:58Oh, someone's playing the game

15:00Yeah

15:01Brilliant

15:01I don't think it's Daniel Beddingfield

15:05Because I feel like I would have known

15:06That he was on Sabrina the Teenage Witch

15:08Were you a fan of Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

15:10I wasn't

15:11But I feel like I know enough about Daniel Beddingfield

15:13I know so much about Daniel Beddingfield

15:16How come you know so much about Daniel Beddingfield?

15:18Well, because I do music

15:19So there's a lot of people

15:20What's your favourite Daniel Beddingfield song?

15:26I don't want to run away

15:28I think he's got one of the best voices in music

15:32Let's do it

15:32Why does my heart tell me that I am

15:37What a way to say

15:40I find Daniel Beddingfield absolutely fascinating

15:54Here's some of my favourite facts about him

15:57Daniel Beddingfield claims to remember the exact moment he was born

16:01He said, I remember being dragged out by the surgeon

16:04It was very traumatic

16:06Do you want some Craig David facts?

16:09Craig David, when he has a party

16:11He insists on a 70-30 man-to-woman split

16:15What?

16:16What, more men than women?

16:17He has 70% girls, 30% guys

16:21It's not for him, it's to keep the guys calm

16:24And I've got a quote here

16:25So they don't run around the house trying to hit on everyone

16:28He said, if the ratio is the other way around

16:30It all gets wonky

16:31Are the kooks party animals?

16:35I think, yeah, we had our moments

16:36Did you?

16:37For real, yeah

16:38I think the last time we met was at one of your parties

16:40Yeah, that's right

16:41It lasted about three days

16:42Yeah

16:43It was a lovely party

16:45Good ratio

16:45Let's move on to Sophie Ellis-Bexter

16:49I've looked for some quirky facts about her

16:51And honestly, I can't find anything

16:53We've had a team of researchers

16:55Trying to find something kooky about her

16:57And this is all we could find

16:59The belt she wears in the video for Murder on the Dunce Floor

17:02Was made out of gaffer tape

17:04And that is it

17:06Come on, give me an answer

17:14Which one's true?

17:15Yeah, I think it's C

17:16Let's go

17:17The answer is B

17:18Oh

17:19Yeah, I said B

17:20Daniel Beddingfield gave up acting

17:22Because his performance in Sabrina the Teenage Witch

17:25Was so terrible

17:26He decided acting was damaging his psyche

17:29It's Sabrina the Teenage Witch, mate

17:31It's not This is England

17:32Well, hard luck, Nolsteam

17:35You get no points

17:36That means neither team has any points

17:46Give them a clap

17:50For nothing

17:51For nothing

17:52Time for a break

17:55We'll see you in a bit

18:06Welcome back to Nevermind the Buscocks

18:11The show that's a bit like a Lana Del Rey concert

18:13In that no one knows what the fuck is going on

18:16Lana's not alone

18:18Concerts seem to have become really weird these days

18:21If it's not Apple Dancers, it's Usher being mad

18:24Have you seen what Usher's been doing on his tour?

18:27Have a look

18:27Oh, my God

18:31Oh, my God

18:32That's all well and good

18:45But if you're a man and you go to an Usher concert

18:48It's a very different story

18:49Don't you make the mistake I made?

18:50Right, let's get on with it

19:08Next up is the intro's round

19:09Noel and Pink Pantherous

19:11On your feet, please

19:11You'll be performing the intro of a song to Jamali

19:14And remember, Jamali

19:16It's the title of the song we're looking for

19:18All right, you ready?

19:19Yeah

19:19Go on

19:20Okay

19:21Three, two, one

19:22Go

19:23Dum

19:25Dum

19:26Dum

19:27Dum

19:28Dum

19:29Dum

19:30It's pretty good

19:31Dum

19:32Sorry, Noel, what are you bringing to this?

19:37Fuck, it's hard because the vibes that Noel's giving is overwhelming

19:40Do you want to take Noel's vibe out? Will that help?

19:43Yeah, if you could take Noel's vibe out for a second

19:46You're asking me to take my vibe out?

19:47Yeah, if you could

19:48All right, do it without me

19:49I'll go over here

19:51Okay

19:51It's lonely up there, isn't it?

19:54Dum

19:55Dum

19:56Dum

19:57Dum

19:58You know the fucking song, mate

20:04Yeah

20:04Is that part of the song?

20:07No, you just do, innit?

20:08I just do

20:08Okay, so you think it's going to help me by just looking at me aggressively

20:11Aggressively is crazy

20:13Do you want me to do it again?

20:16I'll do it again

20:16Yeah, yeah, yeah

20:17Okay

20:18Dum

20:19Dum

20:20Dum

20:21Dum

20:22Dum

20:23Oh, is it 21 seconds?

20:24It is not

20:25I'm passing it over

20:26Sophie, the title of the song we're looking for

20:28Oh, yeah, that's it

20:28Sexy Back

20:29Is correct

20:30Sophie, what it is

20:31I would deal a point

20:33It was Justin Timberlake with Sexy Back

20:38Let's hear how it should have sounded

20:39That was Justin Timberlake with Sexy Back

20:49During an interview, Justin said

20:50I believe people can move things with their minds

20:53So do I, Justin

20:54So do I

20:56Yeah

20:57Yeah

20:58Next one, please

21:06Your last one

21:07Right

21:07Dum

21:08You know this one

21:16How does the tune go?

21:17What do you mean?

21:18No, sorry

21:18Ignore me

21:19I will

21:20Is it, uh, P's and Q's?

21:27Yeah

21:27Whoa

21:28It genuinely is

21:32You're right

21:33Here's how you should have sounded

21:36That was K now with P's and Q's

21:52Yet another grime artist that I've never heard of

21:54Which the producers expect me to say something funny about

21:56Well, sorry, I've got nothing

21:58But what I have got is I've taught myself to play No Scrubs by TLC on the recorder

22:04The grass touch of the dust, no Scrubs

22:12Yeah

22:16That's better, that's better, that's better, that's better, that's better, alright

22:19Well done, you guessed one correct

22:27Better nothing

22:28Okay, Jamie and Luke, it's your turn to perform to Sophie, so on your feet, please

22:39Okay

22:41You know what you're doing, okay

22:47Right, ready?

22:51Ready

22:51Two, three

22:52Yeah

23:03I think, oh yeah

23:08Yeah

23:08That was fabulous

23:10It's genuinely good

23:11genuinely good

23:14I don't know it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

23:21Sophie's passing it over. What do you think?

23:23Is it overloaded by sugar babes?

23:25It is overloaded by sugar babes.

23:28Oh, welcome.

23:29In my feet.

23:30There's no clothes.

23:31I'm sorry.

23:31It was overloaded by sugar babes.

23:33Here's how it should have sounded.

23:44That was overloaded by the sugar babes.

23:50Muttia from the sugar babes once invited me to a Starbucks for a coffee.

23:54I said, no, of course.

23:55What would we talk about?

23:58Next song.

24:01OK.

24:02I'm genuinely excited about your next one.

24:04Oh, thank you.

24:04What's left?

24:06This is good, this is good.

24:09Do you want a fisherman's friend?

24:21Is that what the pop's like?

24:23Is the coughing in this song?

24:25Big time.

24:26OK.

24:26Big time.

24:27Have a little bit of coughing.

24:28Go again.

24:29If you start from the beginning.

24:30OK.

24:31Do you want a fisherman's friend?

24:34Is there coughing in this song?

24:36Big time.

24:37OK.

24:38Cough.

24:39Cough.

24:40Cough.

24:41Cough.

24:42Cough.

24:43Cough.

24:44Cough.

24:45Cough.

24:46Cough.

24:47Cough.

24:48I feel like I'm having a stroke, actually.

24:50I don't have a clue, actually.

24:51Sorry.

24:52OK.

24:53Pass it over.

24:54It's not like Covid, mate.

24:55I can't, yeah.

24:56I'm scared I'm going to get it wrong.

24:57Go on, have a go.

24:58Go on.

24:59Is it my hump?

25:00It is my hump.

25:01It is my hump.

25:02It is my hump.

25:03That's amazing.

25:04Woo!

25:05That's amazing.

25:06Woo!

25:07And the Black Eyed Peas.

25:09Let's hear what she'll have said.

25:12Cough.

25:13Cough.

25:14Cough.

25:15Cough.

25:16Cough.

25:17Cough.

25:18Cough.

25:19Cough.

25:20Cough.

25:21Cough.

25:22Cough.

25:23Cough.

25:24Cough.

25:25Cough.

25:26Cough.

25:27She's exhausted from the coughing.

25:30Cough.

25:31Cough.

25:32Cough.

25:33Cough.

25:34Cough.

25:35Cough.

25:36Cough.

25:37Cough.

25:38Cough.

25:39Cough.

25:40Cough.

25:41Cough.

25:42Cough.

25:43Cough.

25:44Cough.

25:45Cough.

25:46Cough.

25:47Cough.

25:48Cough.

25:49Cough.

25:50Cough.

25:51Cough.

25:52Cough.

25:53Cough.

25:54Cough.

25:55Cough.

25:56Cough.

25:57Cough.

25:58Cough.

25:59Cough.

26:00Cough.

26:01Cough.

26:02Cough.

26:03Cough.

26:04Cough.

26:05Cough.

26:06Cough.

26:07Cough.

26:08Cough.

26:09It's time for a break now, because if this show is to keep on running, we need...

26:14BUZZER

26:17Adverts.

26:18APPLAUSE

26:24BUZZER

26:30APPLAUSE

26:32Welcome back to Nevermind the Buscocks.

26:35Our next round is called ID Parade,

26:37where our panel must identify a musical legend from yesteryear.

26:40Noel's team, you're up first.

26:42For the audience at home, take a look at this.

26:45BUZZER

26:48That was The Vibrators with Wake Up from 1978.

27:05But can you tell me which of our line-up is drummer Eddie Edwards?

27:10Is it wake up?

27:13Backed up?

27:15What's that?

27:17Prostate check-up?

27:20Lick my head, it's a chopper chop!

27:23LAUGHTER

27:25Um, oh, Lord.

27:27One of them just looked at me.

27:30LAUGHTER

27:32No, I'm just saying.

27:33No, I'm sorry, no, I just...

27:35He's still looking!

27:36Yeah, number four is terrifying, man.

27:38LAUGHTER

27:40I don't think it's number three, man.

27:42He looks like he cycles to work.

27:44LAUGHTER

27:46And he wears the head cam and says,

27:49they're going goddamn too fast.

27:51LAUGHTER

27:52So he's got good cheekbones.

27:54I was going to say, he's got some good punk energy.

27:56Yeah.

27:57He's had a lot of cheap whiz in his time, look.

27:59LAUGHTER

28:00He looks good.

28:01I've been in, I've been in the back of number four's cab.

28:04LAUGHTER

28:09Look at them, look at them eyes, he knows the knowledge.

28:11LAUGHTER

28:16Number five, I think number five looks quite cool.

28:19It could be number five.

28:20No, I think so.

28:21He's got drama stance as well.

28:23I'm obsessed with number four now.

28:25It's all fucking sat-nav these days.

28:28LAUGHTER

28:31I'll give you some facts, that'll help, won't it?

28:33Yeah, give us some facts.

28:34In 2011, the vibrators released an official vibrators vibrator

28:38called the Buzzing Bullet.

28:40Which one of these men would release a dildo?

28:42LAUGHTER

28:44I thought it would be number four,

28:46we'd be like, our car boots out.

28:48LAUGHTER

28:50Get your dildos!

28:52LAUGHTER

28:54I'm so scared of it.

28:57LAUGHTER

28:58Let me give you the other side of the coin of this man.

29:01Eddie is into making jams and chutneys.

29:03He recently made...

29:05..a rhubarb and ginger chutney.

29:07Oh.

29:08Oh, that's number three, man.

29:10LAUGHTER

29:11That's number three.

29:12He's back in the game.

29:13Have a get your dildos and your chutneys!

29:16For lubrication!

29:18LAUGHTER

29:20Number two looks like he's Sting,

29:22but he's come back from the future to warn us.

29:25LAUGHTER

29:26Number one's got nothing, by the way.

29:31He's sort of asleep, actually, I noticed.

29:33LAUGHTER

29:35I genuinely think I did just wake you up.

29:37Yeah, I think you did, yeah.

29:38He just woke up and...

29:39Where the fuck am I?

29:40Sting, what is it you need to tell me?

29:42LAUGHTER

29:43LAUGHTER

29:44I'm going to push you now, come on.

29:47I want to say...

29:48I'm going to say it's two,

29:49but I feel like he looks like...

29:50Like, his stance,

29:51he's kind of, like, to the side a little bit.

29:52Has anyone else noticed?

29:53He might be magical.

29:54Oh, I'm sorry.

29:55LAUGHTER

29:56I'm actually really sorry if it's scoliosis.

29:58I'm sorry.

29:59LAUGHTER

30:02Give me a number, come on.

30:03Five.

30:04I'll say number three, but that's me.

30:05And you say what?

30:06I'll say two.

30:07All right, let's add them together.

30:08Number five.

30:09LAUGHTER

30:13No, the team captain's overruling them.

30:15Number five's locked in.

30:16Would the real Eddie Edwards please step forward?

30:21Yeah.

30:22Oh!

30:23No!

30:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

30:30Noel's team, you were wrong.

30:32APPLAUSE

30:33The great Eddie.

30:34How are you, Eddie?

30:35Welcome to the show.

30:36Oh, happy new afterwards.

30:37LAUGHTER

30:38Let's hear it for Eddie Edwards and the rest of the line up!

30:42APPLAUSE

30:47OK, Sophie's team, your turn.

30:49For the audience at home, take a look at this.

30:51FLY ON THE WINGS OF LOVE

30:55FLY, BABY FLY

30:59REACHING THE STARS OF LOVE

31:02Soy NUR RING

31:12APPLAUSE

31:14I think I know it is.

31:15That was XTM featuring Ania...

31:16...2x.

31:17...that was XTM featuring Ania...

31:19What I want to know is which of our line-up is Eva Marti,

31:24a.k.a. Ania, who sang on the track?

31:27Is it, number one, fly on the wings of love?

31:31Number two, fly day night out with the girls?

31:33Number three, fly up with all the trimmings?

31:36Number four, fly to fools fall in love?

31:40Number five, fly like an angel, R.I.P. Diana.

31:44LAUGHTER

31:47Over to you.

31:48Ooh!

31:49You can see number one kicking off out of Wetherspoons, innit?

31:51Yeah.

31:52LAUGHTER

31:53You can see it in all of them.

31:55What do you mean, get off the table?

31:56Yeah.

31:57LAUGHTER

31:58I think number one has a kind of quiet confidence.

32:04I think four is in charge of a team.

32:06Mm, HR.

32:08Yeah. She's the Sharon Stone of HR.

32:11Yeah.

32:12Number two looks like it's been a rough couple of years,

32:16but you've got into Reiki and you're happy.

32:18And she's back.

32:19She's back.

32:20She's back.

32:21She's found Reiki.

32:22She sells CBD on Facebook Marketplace.

32:23Exactly.

32:24Yeah.

32:25LAUGHTER

32:26Number three, I don't get dance track from her at all.

32:30I feel like she's got headphones in.

32:32Yeah, she does swish as well.

32:33If she was in Bewitched, I'd buy it.

32:36Do you know what I mean?

32:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.

32:38LAUGHTER

32:39Five.

32:40I've struggled to get eye contact with you for about half an hour.

32:43She's off somewhere else, five.

32:45Don't underestimate it.

32:46I have PTA me and she's a fucking nightmare.

32:48Yeah, yeah.

32:49But that could be a sign that it's her.

32:51I'm going to hit you with a pretty big clue now.

32:53Right, go on.

32:54She called our researcher at 9am the day after her research call

32:59because she'd forgotten to tell our researcher something.

33:01Do you want to know what it is?

33:02What?

33:03But she had once been to Hastings.

33:05One.

33:06LAUGHTER

33:07Wow!

33:09Four's too busy with the team to be calling about Hastings.

33:12She's like, I've got to do the weirdest thing this evening, guys.

33:15Yeah.

33:16I'll be back tomorrow, but am I going to have a story for you one-on-one?

33:19Yeah.

33:20LAUGHTER

33:21I think it's one or four for me.

33:24I think stick with four.

33:26Four?

33:27Yeah, I was...

33:28Where are you going?

33:29I would go for one.

33:30OK, Sophie's team, what's your final answer?

33:32Four.

33:33Four?

33:34Four?

33:35Four.

33:36All right, let's find out.

33:37Will the real Eva please step forward?

33:40Ta-da!

33:41Oh!

33:42Yay!

33:43Good luck for them.

33:44Good luck for them.

33:45Good luck for them.

33:46Sophie's team, you were wrong.

33:47Eva, how are you?

33:50This is the first time I come here to the UK, to the British UK televisions.

33:55I'm so happy!

33:56Aw, welcome!

33:57Yeah, I'm from Barcelona!

33:58Woo!

33:59You could not have got her more wrong, could we?

34:03It was fun, yeah.

34:04Let's hear it from Eva and for the rest of our guests!

34:07Yeah!

34:08CHEERING

34:09Thank you, Eva.

34:12And...

34:13At the end of that round, Sophie's team have one point and Noel's team have three points!

34:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

34:23Right.

34:24It's time for next lines.

34:27Sophie's team, you're up first.

34:29I really believe you can actually catch Noel here.

34:32Right, OK.

34:33Your time starts now.

34:34I want to make love in this club.

34:36What?

34:37In this club?

34:38In this club?

34:39Yeah, I'll give you that.

34:40Usher, love in this club.

34:41Give me till tomorrow, then I'll be OK.

34:43Good.

34:44LAUGHTER

34:45No sentiment.

34:46Just another day and then I'll hold you tight.

34:49Daniel Beddingfield got to get through this.

34:51Oh!

34:52You better not kill the groove, DJ.

34:53I'm going to burn this goddamn...

34:55Yes, it is.

34:56It's going to burn this goddamn house right down.

34:58Sophie Alice Bexter.

34:59Merger on the dance floor.

35:00You used to get it in your fishnets.

35:02Oh, now you only get it in your...

35:04It's correct.

35:05Arctic Monkeys for adolescent.

35:06You had my heart inside of your hands.

35:09Sorry.

35:10LAUGHTER

35:12And you played it to the beat.

35:15Adele rolling in the team.

35:16Oh, yeah.

35:17APPLAUSE

35:18Oh, that was sweet, wasn't it?

35:20That's hard.

35:21Really tough, isn't it?

35:23Well done, circus team.

35:24You've got three points!

35:25Oh, well done, us.

35:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

35:27OK, Knowles team, this is your round and your time starts now.

35:36Take a look inside your heart.

35:37Is there any room for me?

35:39I can't...

35:40I won't let you hold your breath to get on on the air.

35:42Very good.

35:43Pink Pantheress.

35:44Boy's a liar.

35:45Honey came in and she caught me red-handed.

35:47She caught me on the counter.

35:48It wasn't me.

35:49They were kissing on the sofa.

35:50It wasn't me.

35:51Even got me in the shower.

35:52I'm going to give it you because you're disturbing.

35:53You know so much of it.

35:55It's creepy with a girl next door, but you can have it.

35:57Shaggy, it wasn't me.

35:58Blue, blue, electric blue.

36:00Blue, blue, electric blue was the colour of my room.

36:03Correct, David Bowie, sound and vision.

36:04Yes.

36:05What are you going to do with all that junk?

36:06All that junk inside your trunk?

36:08Car boot sale.

36:09I'm going to get you drunk.

36:10I'm going to get drunk.

36:11I'm going to get you drunk off my humps.

36:13I'm going to get you drunk.

36:14Get you drunk off my humps, black eyed bees, my humps, because I'm too messy.

36:19That sound means it's the end of the round and the end of the show.

36:30And I can tell you the Stokies team have four points.

36:33Not bad, but unbelievably, with seven points.

36:36Our winners tonight, a Noel Steele!

36:43My thanks to Tamale Manics, Noel Fielding, Pink Pantheras, Jamie Dimitri,

36:49Sophie Whedon, Luke Pritchard, goodnight!

37:19I'm afraid no more!

37:23I'm afraid I'm afraid the VP of new players are not right.

37:28I'll fight back.

37:29That's all that police need.

37:31I'm afraid I'm afraid it's a vast majority of people.

37:33I think they're in spite of having a hard time.

37:35If you think, I'm afraid I'm afraid it's a big old man.

37:37Now let's take a look.

37:38I'm afraid we can't.

37:39There's no reason why I'm afraid of turning out.

37:40We'll need a heart attack.

37:42I'm afraid we'll need a heart attack.

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