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Never Mind the Buzzcocks Season 5 Episode 3
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00:00The following program contains strong language.
00:10Tonight, we look back on an important time.
00:12The fall of the Berlin Wall, the miners' strike, the royal wedding,
00:16and in music, Madonna exploded onto the scene.
00:19Live Aid, MTV was born.
00:21It's easy to ridicule this era in history,
00:24but it was an important period in global culture.
00:27So, let's take time to pay homage to a decade that really mattered.
00:33Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks Does the 80s.
00:39The Judy Bogg.
00:41The Judy Bogg.
00:57Welcome to Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
01:14Tonight, we're going back to the decade of Rubik's Cubes,
01:17synth-pop, new romantics, big shoulder pads, big Walkmans.
01:20But, great Scott, we don't have much time.
01:23I have one chance to go back to 1989 and woo the woman of my dreams.
01:27And then, and only then, will I fulfill my destiny.
01:30Finally, Jamali will have to call me Daddy.
01:35Joining Jamali on Noel's team.
01:38An 80s superstar who, at 17,
01:40became the youngest female artist to write, produce, and perform a number one hit.
01:45It's like we've lived parallel lives.
01:47When I was 17, I ate Monster Munch, I had a bike,
01:49and me and my mates climbed a well-big tree.
01:55It's Demi Gibson!
02:01And on the other team tonight,
02:04lead singer of 80s multi-platinum-selling ABC,
02:07whose hits include the iconic Look of Love.
02:10He taught me that when you're struggling to write the opening lyrics to a song,
02:13sometimes you just have to trust your gut, your instinct.
02:16Sometimes you just have to...
02:18It's Martin Pryde!
02:28And on their team tonight,
02:31a brilliant stand-up comedian, actor, and presenter.
02:34It's Judy Love!
02:38And now, ladies and gentlemen,
02:46for the funniest introduction we've ever written.
02:49Strap yourselves in.
02:50This is going to be massive.
02:52Our guest team captains,
02:54an iconic 80s duo,
02:56members of the mighty Wham,
02:57who are impossible to forget,
02:59because one named herself after her favourite drink,
03:03and if you can remember Pepsi,
03:04then, Shirley, you can remember the other one.
03:19Welcome to the show, everyone.
03:20Welcome!
03:24Pepsi and Shirley, guest captains.
03:27Do you think you've got it in you to be an effective captaincy team?
03:29We're going to do our best.
03:31More than our best.
03:32We're going to rule.
03:33We're going to win.
03:34We're going to...
03:34We're going to do it.
03:35That's really uncompensely.
03:38Yeah, we'll cheat if need be.
03:41I'm naturally bossy.
03:42I am instinctively quite scared of you, actually.
03:45I'm going to go straight in
03:47and talk about some Pepsi and Shirley and Wham gossip.
03:50Go on, then.
03:51I want you to tell me if this gossip is...
03:53Lovely.
03:54Oh!
03:56Oh, God, it's going to be a long night.
03:58Look.
03:58Wham were the first Western pop acts
04:02to ever perform in China.
04:05True.
04:06True!
04:09Wham were competing with Queen for that honour
04:11and Wham's manager decided
04:13that he was going to throw Queen under the bus.
04:16And what he did was he contacted the Chinese authorities
04:18and sent a brochure of Freddie Mercury
04:21looking effeminate.
04:24The Chinese authorities were fine with this, were they?
04:26Yeah.
04:27I remember the last Christmas video, as everyone does,
04:33and I remember thinking,
04:34what a wholesome, wonderful time
04:36that you were all having.
04:38Can you tell me which of these are true?
04:40During the filming of that video,
04:41someone puked into the filter of the pool at the ski lodge.
04:43True.
04:44True.
04:44One of the extras in that video kept farting in the ski lift.
04:51I had to blame someone.
05:02That's an early exclusive, isn't it?
05:04Martin, welcome to the show.
05:08It's Martin Frey, everyone.
05:14Martin, what is the look of love?
05:16After 40 years, that's a very philosophical question, isn't it?
05:19Is this the look of love, Martin?
05:21Where's the look of love?
05:21Yeah.
05:22There's the look of love.
05:23Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:24How old were you there, Martin?
05:26Because I've got a theory that you've always been 40.
05:28That's true.
05:29Yeah, yeah.
05:30It served me well now I'm 67, you see, but...
05:33ABC were cool.
05:35All the songs were so cool, and you look so cool.
05:37Do you think all of the lyrics were cool?
05:39Oh, God.
05:40Oh, God.
05:41Here it goes.
05:41Do you have any lyric in mind?
05:44Yeah, he has.
05:44No, he's just a look.
05:45He can't wait.
05:47Well, have a look for yourself.
05:50Don't complain, my son crumbled yourself to another piece of apple cream.
06:00Yeah, thank you.
06:04Very creative.
06:05I've never eaten apple crumble since 1983.
06:11Debbie Gibson's here!
06:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:15Thank you!
06:18Everybody I know who's got the surname Gibson in this country gets called Gibbo.
06:23Can I call you Gibbo?
06:25You may.
06:26Gibbo!
06:29Who on the panel used to have posters of Debbie Gibson on their wall at a formative age?
06:36I think it's Noel.
06:37It is Noel?
06:38Noel, yeah.
06:40Noel Fielding.
06:41Thank you, Noel.
06:43Thank you, Noel.
06:44APPLAUSE
06:45Let's have a look at Debbie in the 80s.
06:50Let's see what was on Noel's wall.
06:51Aww.
06:52Aww.
06:53Weird that you had, like, a normal bedroom with posters.
06:56I thought you'd be in, like, a bat cave.
06:57LAUGHTER
06:58Just hanging upside down.
07:00When I say wall, I mean the lid of my coffin.
07:03LAUGHTER
07:04Tell me why Foolish Beat was such a big song for you.
07:09So, uh, that put me in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the youngest artist to write and produce a number one.
07:17Wow!
07:17Good for me!
07:18Debbie is still the youngest female artist.
07:28She still holds that record now.
07:30Wow.
07:30And she was 17 years of age.
07:31You want to know what I was doing at 17, Debbie?
07:33I don't know if I do, but...
07:36I was having sex with this bear.
07:37Yeah!
07:38That's what I was doing.
07:39CHEERING
07:40CHEERING
07:42APPLAUSE
07:43Oh!
07:44And I'm not going to read the next question on autocue.
07:48Oh, no, I will read it, actually, because someone took the time to script this.
07:52Have you ever had sex with a bear, Gibbo?
07:54Like, seriously?
07:55LAUGHTER
07:56Ooh!
07:57Debbie Gibson, welcome!
07:59APPLAUSE
08:04Judy Love.
08:05When I think of the 80s, I think...
08:07Once loved, that was cute, that was cute.
08:12Tell me about you and the 80s.
08:14It's really hard for me, because I feel like I'm one of the younger ones on the panel.
08:17You are?
08:18Because I know you were only born in 1980.
08:20Yeah, I was still on breast milk.
08:21It was simple.
08:22You know what I mean?
08:23They were simple times.
08:24It was simple times.
08:25You know what we used to do?
08:26We used to climb up really big fir trees.
08:28Right.
08:29Poppers.
08:30Good times.
08:31LAUGHTER
08:32APPLAUSE
08:33Judy, you're always welcome.
08:35APPLAUSE
08:36Let's crack on with the show.
08:40The first question is for Noel's team.
08:43Take a look at this.
08:44I was looking for a job and then I found a job
08:48And heaven knows I'm miserable now
08:52They've got to be, they've got to be, they've got to be.
08:56Yeah, they've got to be.
09:01Yo, yo, always believe in your soul.
09:05You've got the power to know, you're in this circle.
09:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:11That was sexually frustrated topless granddad, Morrissey and the Smiths,
09:21Belinda Carlyle and three other women, the Go-Go's,
09:24and new romantic fuckboys, Bando Ballet.
09:27Sorry, Shirley.
09:28Noel's team.
09:29Can you tell me which of these 80s legends had an unprofessional run-in with their tour manager?
09:37Was it A, after watching a documentary about Guns N' Roses, the Smiths thought they should act more rock and roll.
09:43They initially planned to strip their tour manager naked and throw him into a skip,
09:47but they didn't have the heart, so they ended up just putting grapes in his socks.
09:50LAUGHTER
09:52Or was it B, the Go-Go's were recording an album in Reading
09:55when they got bored and decided to go out into the woods
09:58and take pictures of each other naked.
10:00Belinda Carlyle said,
10:02I suggested we take pictures of our most intimate parts
10:05and then we slipped them under the tour manager's door and said,
10:08Yes, ooh!
10:10LAUGHTER
10:11Or was it C, while touring Hamburg,
10:13Spando Ballet got their tour manager paralytically drunk,
10:16dressed him in a sexy leg cliché,
10:18placed him in a prostitute's window with a sign saying,
10:21Willkommen be de Superclam!
10:24Which roughly translates as,
10:26Welcome to the Superbitch.
10:28LAUGHTER
10:29There you go.
10:30Noel's team, one of those is true.
10:31The B, the Go-Go's were recording an album
10:33and then they took pictures of their intimate parts.
10:36And then what were they taking?
10:38Pictures.
10:39Polaroids?
10:40What were they doing?
10:41They had to go to the chemist, right?
10:42Right.
10:43They had to be like...
10:44In the 80s.
10:45Right.
10:46Good job.
10:47Right?
10:48And then their pictures came out with stickers over their private parts.
10:52Yes!
10:53To peel them off and then slip them on.
10:55That would take too long.
10:56And to be honest,
10:57if you were taking pictures of your private parts,
10:59it was quite good to have them developed in a chemist.
11:01Yes.
11:02Because if there was a problem...
11:03LAUGHTER
11:04LAUGHTER
11:05LAUGHTER
11:06A one-stop.
11:07APPLAUSE
11:12Aren't you friends with Belinda Carlisle?
11:13Yeah, I mean, I know her a bit.
11:14Like, I think that, you know, they were like...
11:16Would you be able to recognise the pictures?
11:17They were rebellious at the time.
11:18LAUGHTER
11:19LAUGHTER
11:20Hey, why don't we talk about the Smiths for a while?
11:24Here's some actual quotes from Morrissey.
11:27It'd be worth being dead just to get away from Victoria Beckham.
11:30Oh, he didn't say that.
11:32No.
11:33No, he didn't say that.
11:34Oh, my God.
11:35He did say that.
11:36He said all of this.
11:37He probably did.
11:38Wow.
11:39This is fascinating.
11:40So many footballers are paid £200,000 a week,
11:42and yet they couldn't identify a heart.
11:44LAUGHTER
11:46But the absolute prince of Morrissey quotes is this.
11:49No.
11:50Jamie Oliver should be gassed by Princess Anne.
11:52LAUGHTER
11:53Wow.
11:54I don't think they've got even rudimentary gassing facilities
11:57at Buckingham Palace.
11:58Oh!
11:59LAUGHTER
12:00Should we get on to Spandau Ballet?
12:02You know Shirley's married to on a Spandau Ballet.
12:04They didn't know.
12:05I did found that.
12:06Jamali didn't know.
12:08Nick Banks from Kachagugu,
12:10when he saw your husband scooping half of his breakfast
12:13onto one small side plate
12:15and then covering it with a newspaper,
12:17he leant over to Martin and asked him what he was up to.
12:20He said,
12:21Well, Nick, I really enjoy my food,
12:22and it always seems to go so quickly.
12:24I always think to myself,
12:25that was great.
12:26I could eat that lot again.
12:27And then, when I look under this newspaper,
12:29I find the rest!
12:30And I think,
12:31Wow, great!
12:32I've still got all this to eat!
12:35APPLAUSE
12:36I mean,
12:37I question whether Shirley's his wife or his carer after that one.
12:47You had some interesting pictures taken back in the 80s, didn't you?
12:50Oh!
12:51You know what?
12:52That was in Covent Garden.
12:53Is that the brother from EastEnders?
12:55Yeah!
12:56Yeah!
12:57Yeah, man!
12:58There we go!
13:00Ta-da!
13:01He was on the show!
13:03Oh, Bob, your husband's sick, man!
13:05That's my boy, man!
13:06Yeah, he's lovely!
13:07Tell him I said, what's up?
13:09Let's briefly talk about Belinda Carlisle and the Go-Go's.
13:12Here they are in the 80s.
13:13They look like a variety pack of cereal.
13:16They look lovely!
13:18Belinda Carlisle, she had a 30-year-long cocaine addiction
13:22and she said she can't believe she's not dead.
13:24One morning, she woke up after a binge and forgot she bought what,
13:28do you think?
13:29I'll just tell you, a racehorse.
13:30Something like that.
13:33Greg, I did so many drugs once at a party
13:35that the next day someone knocked on the door
13:37and I bought two stone baboons for six...
13:44...for six grand.
13:48I was like, what the fuck am I gonna do with that one?
13:51How much?
13:52Six grand!
13:53Six grand!
13:54What have you done with them?
13:55They're, well, they look quite good.
13:57They're in my house.
13:58I have no recollection of buying them.
14:02Oh, my God.
14:03All right, Melstein, what do you think?
14:05Is it the Smith's grape, the Go-Go's, nude pics,
14:08or Spanto Ballet super bitch?
14:10B with a Polaroid camera or A.
14:12I love the idea of Morrissey putting grapes in people's socks,
14:15but he's more vicious than that, so I feel like...
14:17I want the Go...
14:19Now I hear about the Go-Go's and their rock and roll,
14:21I feel like it's something they would have done.
14:23B, the Go-Go's taking pictures of their special areas.
14:26You are right!
14:28Yes, the Go-Go's took pictures of their fannies
14:33and slipped them under their tour manager's door
14:36to see if he could guess who was who.
14:38Belinda Carlisle said he was completely mortified.
14:41We had a way of freaking out tour managers.
14:43Many of them quit, but he stayed with us for years.
14:46I bet he did, Belinda.
14:47Well done, Noel's team!
14:49A point to you!
14:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:52All right.
14:54The next question is for Pepsi and Shirley's team.
14:57Take a look at this.
14:59Lookes like me and I'll try again!
15:03One more boys!
15:05Remember using...
15:07Like a virgin...
15:09Hey!
15:11Just for the very first time!
15:15Like a virgin...
15:19But I still haven't found what I will do
15:30Good music! It was good music!
15:33That was a man you just know has got suntan testicles, Simon Le Bon,
15:38retired Romanian powerlifter, Madonna.
15:40Oh!
15:43And the band that sounds like an owl telling you off.
15:46You two!
15:47LAUGHTER
15:49Can you tell me which of these 80s legends
15:51had an unusual ritual before appearances?
15:54Was it?
15:55A. Simon Le Bon revealed that before he has his photo taken,
15:59he has a strange belief.
16:01He said,
16:02If I think about naked ladies, then my pupils dilate,
16:05which always looks better in shots.
16:07LAUGHTER
16:08I know what you mean, Simon.
16:09Whoa, whoa, whoa!
16:11LAUGHTER
16:13And was it B.
16:15Madonna would sneak food-based puns into her songs,
16:19including crazy for soup and hollandaise.
16:22Her management discovered that during a gig at the Hollywood Bowl
16:25in 1989, when she changed the lyrics to
16:27Like a Prayer from
16:29Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone
16:31to Life is a Kedgerie, everyone likes jam and scone.
16:34LAUGHTER
16:36Or was it C.
16:37Before photo shoots, you two would each down
16:39a pint of hot orange juice to speed up the process.
16:43The edge said,
16:44It's amazing how much quicker you can get through a photo shoot
16:47when everyone's about to shit themselves.
16:49LAUGHTER
16:50APPLAUSE
16:51So...
16:52APPLAUSE
16:53A, B or C.
16:54That's tricky, isn't it?
16:56Well, I'm going to go for A.
16:58A.
16:59No, no, no.
17:00How does it work?
17:01I'm sorry, ladies.
17:02That's not how this works.
17:03We don't just pick A and move on.
17:05Why?
17:06There was no...
17:07There was no banter in the 80s.
17:09I want to get the job done.
17:11The show will be over in two minutes.
17:13You've got to...
17:14You've got to discuss it with your team.
17:16OK.
17:17One of those is true.
17:18Debbie, can I ask you a question?
17:19Yeah.
17:20Do you know what Kedgerie is?
17:21I don't.
17:22There you go.
17:23Madonna wouldn't have known.
17:24Good detective work.
17:26And the Americans wouldn't have eaten scones.
17:29That's an English thing.
17:30No, no.
17:31I mean...
17:32We've never had people actually play the game before.
17:34LAUGHTER
17:36Greg, do you know what was really sweet?
17:38When you were showing the clips, Jamali,
17:40because he wasn't born in the 80s,
17:42this is like the sort of Tudor times, but...
17:44LAUGHTER
17:45He was just going to me,
17:46Is that Madonna?
17:47LAUGHTER
17:48When you two come on, he went,
17:50Is that Bono?
17:51Like he was going,
17:52Is that Henry VIII?
17:53Is that Anne Boleyn?
17:54LAUGHTER
17:55Mam, I thought I was...
17:57I was edging to be...
17:59I thought he was near my age.
18:00No, no.
18:01All right, you don't have to say...
18:02LAUGHTER
18:03Oh, no.
18:04LAUGHTER
18:05LAUGHTER
18:06Judy, I love you, I'm sorry.
18:08Wow.
18:09Which one are you drawn to, Judy?
18:11I love the idea of drinking the hot orange juice.
18:14But what was the purpose of that?
18:16Can you remember?
18:17Shut up the whole place.
18:18LAUGHTER
18:19Here's a fact about Le Bon.
18:21After Duran Duran's performance at Live Aid,
18:23Simon Le Bon went to a party at Mick Jagger's house,
18:26where Keith Richards walked in,
18:28wearing the same scarf as him.
18:30Delighted to have something in common with his idol,
18:32Le Bon shouted,
18:33Keith!
18:34Keith, look!
18:35We're wearing the same scarf!
18:36To which Keith said,
18:38That's good enough reason to leave and walk out.
18:41LAUGHTER
18:43Well...
18:45I'll tell you an interesting fact about Madonna.
18:47Yeah.
18:48When she was married to Guy Ritchie,
18:49she banned him from something.
18:51Can I have a guess?
18:52There was.
18:53Ooh.
18:54I have no idea.
18:55Hmm.
18:56She banned him from eating chipolatas.
18:58LAUGHTER
18:59Topical the island breeze,
19:01all of nature wild and free.
19:04I am going to make your tea,
19:06but no chipolatas.
19:08LAUGHTER
19:10APPLAUSE
19:12Alrighty, guys.
19:14APPLAUSE
19:16So, could it be you two?
19:17You two almost split up in the 80s,
19:19because Bono and the Edge believed that God had told them
19:21that the Edge had to leave the band.
19:23I've just realised something.
19:24Yeah?
19:25Is that how long you two's been going for?
19:27Yeah.
19:28From the 80s?
19:29Yeah.
19:30You're learning something, Judy.
19:31Damn!
19:32Yes.
19:33It's like going to a museum.
19:34LAUGHTER
19:35I think I'm going to lock this in now.
19:37What do you think?
19:38A.
19:39The first thing we said at the start.
19:40A.
19:41A.
19:42Yeah, alright.
19:43You're right.
19:44Yay!
19:45CHEERING
19:46Well done, guys.
19:47Well done, guys.
19:48Well done, guys.
19:49Well done, guys.
19:50Well done, well done, well done.
19:51Well done, well done, well done.
19:52It is A.
19:53Simon Le Bon says he thinks about naked ladies
19:55before he has a photo taken to make his pupils dilate.
19:58Bloody hell, Simon.
19:59Just get a bottle of poppers if you want to dilate.
20:01Let's dilate, mate.
20:02LAUGHTER
20:03Well done, Pepsi and Shirley's team!
20:05APPLAUSE
20:06I don't know how we're going to go to a break in this 80s special.
20:13PHONE RINGS
20:15What?
20:16Lionel Richie's fallen into a boat?
20:18Yep.
20:19I'll take it.
20:20See you in a bit.
20:21APPLAUSE
20:23Welcome back to Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
20:37We're in the 80s.
20:38Congratulations, Charles and Diana.
20:40I just know you're going to have a great life together.
20:42LAUGHTER
20:44No, you didn't.
20:46You did.
20:47Next up, it's the intros round.
20:48Tonight, we have an 80s twist.
20:50If you think you need extra help tonight, you can play a joker.
20:54That means you can have another 80s legend come on
20:57and help you with the intros round.
20:59They're waiting in the wings for you.
21:00But if you do play your joker, you lose a point from your overall scores.
21:04Jamali and Debbie, on your feet, please.
21:07You're going to be performing the intros of songs to Noel.
21:10Before we do, I must ask the team captain,
21:12do you want to play your joker?
21:14Uh, yeah, sure. Why not?
21:16We're going to take a point off. Let's hope the joker adds.
21:19It's another 80s legend.
21:20Please reveal yourself.
21:22It's a mystery.
21:23Ladies and gentlemen, Toya Wilkins!
21:25It's a mystery.
21:26It's a mystery.
21:27Ladies and gentlemen, Toya Wilkins!
21:28It's a mystery.
21:29It's a mystery.
21:30It's a mystery.
21:31It's a mystery.
21:32Hello.
21:33Hello.
21:34Hello.
21:35Hi.
21:36Welcome.
21:37Welcome, Toya.
21:39Have you been practising?
21:40I've been practising for hours.
21:42Here we go.
21:44Hang on a sec, Greg.
21:46Let me just take a sip of my hot orange juice.
21:53Take it away.
21:54You're welcome.
21:55Don.
21:56Chica.
21:57Turn.
21:58Don.
21:59Tem- Nas.
22:02Wait!
22:04Dun- dun- dun.
22:11Something like...
22:13Dun- dun.
22:14Dun- dunN.
22:15Dun-duh- SUBSCRIBE.
22:16OK.
22:17Is it shoot that poison? It is not
22:22Billie Jean no
22:26Afraid
22:28Never gonna give you up by Rick Astley
22:47I absolutely love Toya Jamali's my boy. You're my first crush, but that was bullshit
23:01I think the main thing is that Rick Astley's light 80s pop classic didn't have this bass I did it
23:11Jamali you're a fan of that song, aren't you?
23:13Am I?
23:15They told me that you never heard it. It's alright someone told me that you in an interview said you love that song
23:20We like to keep it quiet. I never said that. Okay
23:24Fuck that song
23:28Okay, next song knows team off you go
23:45Get in it and then and then it's then and then it's
23:48Then and then and then it's gonna
23:50Oh, it was me again
23:52Do do do do do do do do do do do do
23:55So good
24:05Have you got it say any song now?
24:08Has he got it? No, he hasn't
24:11Take over steal mother foal steal
24:14We're ready to pounce. What is the title of that song this thing is it need you tonight?
24:24That was very good that was dead on the beat
24:45Hello Michael what's going on all right, what do you think?
24:52He's lonely
24:54Thank you
24:58Bad luck you guessed none correct
25:17It's over to patty and shirley's team, but before we do that I would just like to show you a newspaper headline Jamali
25:23Yeah
25:25Have a look
25:27Oh
25:29Oh
25:31Fair enough
25:33That is very fair
25:35A comedian on his secret love for Rick Astley
25:37Oh
25:39All right
25:41I've seen shirley and martin it's your turn to perform to judy on your feet please
25:44Hey
25:45And remember judy if you need help we've got an 80s legend waiting in the wings
25:50Can I can I change the rules
25:52Can I change the rules?
25:54You certainly can't change the rules judy love
25:56Can I have the guest and the guest and the guest sits and helps me
26:00No
26:02No because judy the guest has been told what the songs are
26:06Oh
26:08Oh
26:10He's in our band
26:12Pepsi and Shirley are the captains and I want to ask you would you like to play your joker
26:16Yes, please
26:17Oh
26:18Thank God because the walk on music alone is going to make me lose my mind
26:22Pepsi and Shirley you've asked for help from one of the 80s legends
26:26Please reveal yourself
26:28You gotta feel me baby
26:30Oh
26:31Oh
26:32You gotta feel me baby
26:34It's Runchford
26:36You gotta feel me baby
26:38Runchford
26:40Oh
26:42Oh
26:43Runchford, you been practicing?
26:44No
26:45We're relying on him
26:46No, I'm natural because I'm a natural
26:48You're just natural
26:49We want to have another listen
26:51Do you know what Shirley?
26:52Yeah
26:53You can do that because I'm frightened of you
26:55Good
26:56Good
26:57Shirley's got that boss
26:59Yes
27:00Okay, listen
27:01I'm not
27:02Listen guys, I'm not gonna get this
27:06You're not gonna get any of them?
27:07Oh, I see what's going on here
27:09Oh
27:11Very clever
27:20We're ready
27:21You ready?
27:22Commence
27:23Okay, song one
27:24Take it away
27:25One, two, three, four
27:26One, two, three
27:27One, two, three, four
27:28One, two, three, four
27:30Oh
27:33skinny...
27:34Blue...
27:35Can we give her a clue?
27:36No, you may not
27:37No, they can't
27:38No, nothing
27:39No, they can't
27:40can we give her a clue no you may not because I will dive on them like a puma
27:55there's a group and sometimes it's a girls girls in the group
28:10there's no males in the group it's just girls it's girls two one two three
28:15Judy what was the title of the song Judy love
28:40Debbie Gibson said Venus it was Venus
28:47it was banana rama with Venus
28:51oh my god I had banana rama on my lips
28:55banana rama had another hit with cruel summer where they complained about the city being crowded
29:12and their friends being away and they're on their own you think that's a cruel summer
29:16you should have been in Shropshire in 1986 when I forgot to feed my guinea pigs
29:19and one ate the other naughty Pepsi surely didn't deserve that
29:30thank you next one please okay we need to listen we need to hear it
29:35this was an international huge hit if you don't get this one I think it's going to finish you
29:44but how many women second away let's go
29:56Wow
30:02Wow
30:05I don't I don't want to give you clues but I don't remember in the song the big
30:35that's just for encouragement this is bringing something is it I feel like it's a
30:45theme song to something oh it might be one more time
30:50I haven't got nothing left there's nothing left in tank
31:10Pop
31:16Judy this is your moment. I haven't got nothing left. There's nothing left in tank
31:22Say any song fuck it Ghostbusters or some shit
31:40It was Ghostbusters by Ray Parker jr. Here's how it should have sounded
31:57Oh
32:10Take it
32:37Really good be proud yourself. Do you feel good? Yeah
32:40Okay, well, just before you get too excited. We've got a video to show you
32:46Play the video please
32:50Okay
32:59What is going i feel slightly faint can you just be quiet i just want to hear it really crystal clear
33:04i don't know what's going on
33:06Tell me just tell me sorry real cheap just tell me
33:08Okay, yeah
33:18My god it's one of the biggest candles
33:20I've never seen anything like this
33:23It's gonna finish all of you so great you let me all do that all that performance
33:28Are you get oh
33:29You
33:30I've got a clap and an extra light a standing ovation right
33:34I'm gonna do that
33:41Turn the camera around
33:42Look at him!
33:43Look at him!
33:44Yes!
33:49And you want to steal that?
33:51You've just got a standing ovation from an audience for blatantly cheating.
33:58This is like Trump's America.
34:01This is what I'm saying!
34:03It's like work, and I'm doing it for the people.
34:07You're a dangerous woman, you know that.
34:13You're a dangerous woman.
34:14I've been told on many Friday nights.
34:17That was Ray Parker Jr. with Ghostbusters, which includes the line,
34:21if there's something strange in your neighbourhood, who are you going to call?
34:23Julie Love!
34:24I'm going to...
34:26It's going to be Julie Love, of course.
34:28Of course.
34:29That's fine.
34:32Please give a huge round of applause for Rochford!
34:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:40I'm being told if you want to keep Rochford for the rest of the show, you can.
34:44Why not?
34:45Why not?
34:46Why not?
34:47We'll get a chair.
34:48Shall we bring Toya back as well?
34:50Let's have Toya back!
34:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:58At the end of that round, Pepsi and Shirley's team have one point,
35:01but Noel's team have two points.
35:03Because we gave them the points that you cheated on.
35:09Don't start that shit.
35:10You was behind me later.
35:14I don't know how we're going to go to another break.
35:17This is an 80s special.
35:18PHONE RINGS
35:19Oh.
35:20PHONE RINGS
35:21Yes?
35:22Right.
35:23OK.
35:24I'll take it.
35:25I'll take it.
35:26We'll see you in a minute.
35:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:29Welcome back to Never Mind the Buzz Cops.
35:43We're in the 80s, so congratulations to Prince Andrew
35:46for your brave service in the Falklands.
35:48LAUGHTER
35:49I just know you're always going to be a national hero!
35:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:54Our next round is called ID Parade,
35:58where our panel must identify an 80s pop star.
36:01Noel's team, you're up first.
36:03For the audience at home, take a look at this.
36:05Going on up to the spirit in the sky
36:09That's where I'm going to go when I die
36:13When I die
36:14When I die
36:15And then lay me to rest
36:17I'm going to go to the place that's the day
36:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:25That was Spirit in the Sky by Doctor and the Medics,
36:28but Noel's team, what I want to know is which of our line-up
36:31is the lead singer, Clive Jackson,
36:34a.k.a. the Doctor from the band.
36:36Is it?
36:37Number one, Spirit in the Sky.
36:39Number two, I am Gandalf and you shall not come by!
36:44LAUGHTER
36:45Number three, when I bend over you'll see my third eye.
36:48LAUGHTER
36:50Number four, in Civil War reenactments I always die.
36:53LAUGHTER
36:54Number five, why am I here? I'm a shepherd, come by!
36:57APPLAUSE
36:59Who is Clive Jackson from Doctor and the Medics?
37:09We've got the Charles Manson Quartet.
37:12LAUGHTER
37:13Number four looks like me if I get stranded on a desert island for ten years.
37:18LAUGHTER
37:20Number three is Jesus if we turn water into piss.
37:24LAUGHTER
37:25LAUGHTER
37:26LAUGHTER
37:27LAUGHTER
37:28LAUGHTER
37:29LAUGHTER
37:30LAUGHTER
37:31LAUGHTER
37:32LAUGHTER
37:33LAUGHTER
37:34LAUGHTER
37:35LAUGHTER
37:36LAUGHTER
37:37Toya, are you drawn to anyone in particular?
37:40I am.
37:41Who?
37:42The one I know, personally.
37:45LAUGHTER
37:46APPLAUSE
37:47Now...
37:48I've just come back from Dubai with him.
37:49LAUGHTER
37:50That's not fair!
37:51That's not fair!
37:52That's not fair!
37:53That's not fair!
37:54So, I'm keeping shtum.
37:55Number one looks like when you and your brother try and get in the cinema for free when you're
37:56thirty.
37:57LAUGHTER
37:58LAUGHTER
37:59You think it's two people on top of me?
38:00Your dad's trench coat!
38:01LAUGHTER
38:02That's not fair!
38:03That's not fair!
38:04That's not fair!
38:05That's not fair!
38:06So, I'm keeping shtum.
38:07Number one looks like when you and your brother try and get in the cinema for free when you're
38:10thirty...
38:11LAUGHTER
38:12LAUGHTER
38:13You... you think it's two people on top of each other?
38:14You think it's two people on top of each other?
38:15Your dad's trench coat!
38:17LAUGHTER
38:18Oh my God.
38:19I... I imagine you want some incredible clues.
38:22Yeah.
38:23Please, help. Anything.
38:24Clive used to own his own snail farm.
38:25LAUGHTER
38:30That could be, that could literally be any one of them.
38:32That does not know how it does.
38:34This is literally a herd of snail farmers, isn't it?
38:36Yeah.
38:37People thought that Clive painted his face white in the Spirit in the Sky video.
38:42But in fact, he's just pale.
38:47I was originally drawn to five, right?
38:49He's just got a little bit of a rock and roll attitude, the way he's standing.
38:52Yeah.
38:53He just kind of doesn't care.
38:54I love number three in them glasses.
38:55That's so fucking mental, they put you in them glasses.
38:58The star glasses.
38:59That's so mad.
39:01Number three looks like Eric Cantanoff.
39:03His wife went out and he dressed up in all her clothes.
39:12Number two looks like the other member of ZZ Top, ZZ Rock Bottom.
39:18Oh, my God.
39:20I'm having a laugh.
39:22All right, I'm gonna have to push you for an answer.
39:24Well, I'm just getting strong vibes off number one.
39:28Yeah.
39:29Number one's cool.
39:30They're all pretty cool.
39:31I mean, if I look like that when I'm in five years, in three months' time.
39:36You'll be happy.
39:37In a week's time, in an hour.
39:39If I look like that in an hour, I'll be fucking dreaming.
39:42Let's find out if you're right with the real Clive.
39:45Please, step forward.
39:48Yay!
39:50Yay!
39:51Yay!
39:52Thank you for joining us.
40:02What are you up to these days?
40:04Well, I'm glad to say that Doctor and the Medics are still very much alive and kicking.
40:07However, we have been working on that tricky fifth album for 20 years.
40:12And I'm kidding you not.
40:13But kids, I'm pleased to announce that The Ultimate Mystic will be released sometime this decade.
40:20They're back!
40:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:23Ladies and gentlemen, it's here for our guests and for Clyde!
40:27The Doctor!
40:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:31Pepsi and Shirley's team, here's your line-up.
40:37For the audience at home, take a look at this.
40:39I eat cannibals!
40:43Feed on animals!
40:45Your love is so irritable to me!
40:49I eat cannibals!
40:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:54Eat cannibals?
40:56That was I Eat Cannibals by Toto Coelho.
41:02But can you tell me which of our line-up is singer Anita from the band?
41:07Is it?
41:08Number one, I eat cannibals.
41:09Number two, I eat anything.
41:10I'm mad, mate.
41:11Number three, I eat rotisserie chicken while it's still spinning.
41:14I'm also mad.
41:16Number four, I eat people's souls.
41:18Behold, I'm a necromancer made flesh!
41:20Or number five, I eat at my local Italian, three nights a week, run by Giuseppe and his wife Maria.
41:26It's delicious and very reasonably priced.
41:28Bellissimo!
41:29This is just like a bum I used to make!
41:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:34Hex and Shirley's team, you are looking for Anita, the lead singer of Toto Coelho.
41:42Number five looks very spiritual.
41:44Good.
41:45She looks like a wild woman, doesn't she?
41:46She does.
41:47Just spiritual.
41:48Yeah.
41:49Just very like, I eat cannibals.
41:51Does she look like she sings?
41:52Yeah.
41:53Yeah.
41:54Yeah.
41:55Number four looks like, how the hell did I get here?
41:57And the others?
41:58Number three looks like she could have been in a band at one time.
42:03Yeah.
42:04Martin?
42:05I think number one is a little bit young for the job.
42:08Yeah, it's like having me standing up there, do you know what I mean?
42:10I'm warming to number three.
42:14Do you like some clues?
42:15Yeah.
42:16We've got a poorly paid researcher on the team who finds these clues out.
42:21Anita is very scared of spiders.
42:23There you go.
42:24LAUGHTER
42:25Does the researcher understand what the word clue means?
42:28Yeah.
42:29Got more.
42:30Do you want more?
42:31Yeah.
42:32Anita once shared a lift with David Bowie.
42:33That's more interesting.
42:35Wow.
42:36Have you noticed something?
42:37We've completely skipped number two.
42:39Yes.
42:40What's that energy?
42:41Not been mentioned.
42:42Not been mentioned.
42:43The feeling is it could be number two.
42:45Can I ask a question, Greg?
42:46Can you play the music and can we see them dance to it?
42:49Well, it's highly irregular.
42:51Let's do this.
42:52I'm going to play the music in and they can do what they want.
42:55Yeah.
42:56And I'm coming to you for an answer.
42:57So can we have the music?
42:58I be cannibal.
43:01I be a cannibal.
43:04You're loving to me.
43:07To me.
43:08I be cannibal.
43:10But can I say, number three is staring like she's fighting the urge.
43:16You know?
43:17Yeah.
43:18To dance.
43:19Or she drank warm orange juice.
43:26OK, team.
43:28My gut instinct is one or two.
43:30Five.
43:31It's not five.
43:32It's five.
43:33OK then.
43:34So how are we going to decide this?
43:35It's five.
43:36How did Pepsi and Shirley decide things back in the day?
43:38If we go like this?
43:39Five.
43:40Five.
43:41OK.
43:42Wow, what a system.
43:44Would the real Anita please step forward?
43:49Yeah!
43:50That's terrible!
43:51How are you guys?
43:52That's gorgeous.
43:54Pepsi and Shirley, you were right!
43:56Whoo!
43:57Ladies and gentlemen, can we hear it for all of our line-up and especially for Anita?
44:11Yeah!
44:12Yeah!
44:13And at the end of that round, Pepsi and Shirley's team have two points and Noel's team have three points!
44:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:26Right!
44:27It's time for next lines.
44:28Here we go.
44:29Your time.
44:30Pepsi and Shirley's team.
44:31Starts.
44:32Now.
44:33Ooh, baby.
44:34Do you know what that's worth?
44:35Heaven is a place on earth.
44:36Correct.
44:37Belinda Carlisle.
44:38Heaven is a place on earth.
44:39No money man can win my love.
44:40No money man can win my love.
44:41No money man can win my love.
44:43The sweetness that I'm taking on.
44:46Just a reminder, you're against the clock.
44:49It's sweetness that I'm thinking I'm correct.
44:51Naina Cherry.
44:52Can't complain.
44:53Mustn't grumble.
44:54Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.
44:56Yes, ABC!
44:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:59That was then and this is now.
45:01A cuddly toy is my only joy.
45:03Waiting for me when I get home.
45:04Yes!
45:05Andrew Rocheford, cuddly toy.
45:06Gold.
45:07Always believe in your soul.
45:08You've got the power to know.
45:09You've got the power to know.
45:10You're indiscusable!
45:11Always believe in your soul!
45:12You're indiscusable!
45:13Always believe in your soul!
45:14Always believe in your soul!
45:15Always believe in your soul!
45:16Always believe in your soul!
45:17Spend your ballet in gold!
45:18Woo!
45:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:21No doubt!
45:22No doubt!
45:23No doubt!
45:24No doubt!
45:25Okay, well done, Pepsi and Shirley's team.
45:27You've got five right.
45:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:29How many do we need?
45:32Here are yours, you need five to win.
45:35We're gonna do it really slow and you'll get upset.
45:37I couldn't give a fuck.
45:39Yeah.
45:40Your time starts now.
45:42Sometimes you're better off dead.
45:43That's right, Greg, remember that.
45:45What?
45:46You're better off dead.
45:47You got a something something pointing at your head.
45:51Wait wait.
45:52Yeah, there's a gun at your head.
45:53I'm gonna hold your head.
45:54There's a gun at your head.
45:55There's a gun at your head.
45:56There's a gun at your head.
45:57There's a gun at your head.
45:58There's a gun at your head.
45:59There's a gun at your head.
46:00Pet Shop Boys, Western Girls.
46:01There's a boy I know.
46:02He's the one I dream of.
46:03Take me to the clouds above.
46:04Whitney Houston.
46:05Yes.
46:06How will I know?
46:07Stop shaking them!
46:08who wakes up next to you correct claimers i'm gonna be 500 miles oh can't you see i'm not fooling
46:13nobody don't you see the tears are falling down my face foolish beat i'm never gonna dance again
46:20i can't i've heard my name guilty feet have got no rhythm george michael careless whisper
46:25it's a mystery it's a mystery it's a mystery to me a shot in the dark no i'm such
46:33it's a mystery it's a mystery i'm still searching for a clue toya wilcox it's a mystery
46:38we're no strangers to love that's right come on jamali you know the rules and so do i you
46:44know the rules correct rick astley never going to give you up start
46:50that sound means it's the end of the round and it's the end of the show and i can tell you that
46:54pepsi and shirley's team have seven points but with eight points our winners of the 80s special tonight
47:00it's noel's team
47:06my thanks to debbie noel toya jamali judy pepsi shirley martin and bruxman good night
47:28we'll see you next time
47:40we'll see you next time
47:42we'll see you next time
47:43um
47:46You
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