Never Mind The Buzzcocks Season 5 Ep 1

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Never Mind The Buzzcocks Season 5 Ep 1 #Cineva USA https://www.dailymotion.com/Cineva

Transcript

00:00...was Britain reborn.

00:05Hello, Bears.

00:06Hey.

00:07Hello, hello.

00:31Welcome to Nevermind the Buzzcocks, Manchester versus Britpop.

00:37...joining Noel on Team Britpop.

00:44...an award-winning actress, singer and Britpop queen

00:48who said that meeting David Bowie on the set of Absolute Beginners

00:51was the most erotic experience of her life.

00:54For me, it was a Bedouin tent on the Arabian Peninsula.

00:57And let's just say, those boys do not moisturise their hands.

01:01It's Brashley Kenzett!

01:02...and Alan Tinchmarsh is mad for Pampas.

01:11Monty John can't get enough Wild Meadow,

01:13but for me, there's only one Supercraft,

01:15and here's the drummer, Britpop's own Danny Goffey!

01:19...joining Jamali on Team Manchester tonight.

01:27A DJ, radio presenter and keyboardist

01:32for the iconic 90s band in Spiral Carpets

01:34who says that while touring with the band, EMF,

01:37he witnessed one of them put a lime in his foreskin.

01:40Big deal.

01:40Since Sainsbury started charging for their carrier bags,

01:43I get my weekly shop in, mate.

01:44It's Clint Boone!

01:52And their guest captain for this evening,

01:55the legendary Maracca Man of Happy Mondays and Manchester Royalty.

01:59In his heyday, he turned down Julia Roberts' advances in a club,

02:03but I suspect he'd probably just cobbled 14 ecstasy tablets,

02:06so it might not have been Julia Roberts,

02:07it might have been a yucca plant,

02:09and it might not have been a club,

02:10it might have been a transit van.

02:11Who knows? He doesn't! It's Bez!

02:19Over the course of this evening,

02:21we will decide once and for all

02:23which was the better cultural phenomena of the 90s,

02:25the chemical haze of Manchester

02:26or the lager-fuelled swagger of Britpop.

02:28Trigger warning, I have to mention drugs a lot tonight,

02:31otherwise we'll have nothing to talk about.

02:33Welcome, everyone.

02:35You all right?

02:35Nice to be here. Lovely to be here, yeah.

02:36Lovely to have you, Clint. Bez, you all right?

02:38I'm really excited to be here.

02:40How do you feel about being team captain?

02:42I feel the pressure of it,

02:43but I'm sure I can handle it, you know.

02:45Do you feel...

02:45I've done bigger jobs.

02:50Let's talk Manchester for a bit, Bez.

02:51A lot was made of your drug use in the 90s,

02:54you know, you must get sick of being labelled with that.

02:57Well, you know what?

02:57The Persian rugs, it was actually the making of me.

03:01Well, I found a picture of you.

03:02It's lovely.

03:03Any family would be absolutely delighted with it.

03:04Have a look.

03:05Back in the day, you actually gave me a pair of your maracas.

03:14Did I?

03:14Yeah, and signed them.

03:15And when I say maracas, Greg, I mean testicles.

03:19They're in a little cabinet at home.

03:22Bez, just tell us what happened

03:23when the Happy Mondays got sent to Barbados, will you?

03:25You got sent to record an album, right?

03:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:28And paid.

03:29Well, you know what?

03:30It was being sent there

03:31because it was apparently, you know, a drug-free island.

03:34Yeah.

03:35What a mistake that was, you know what I mean?

03:38My understanding of it

03:39is that you sold the recording equipment

03:41so you could buy drugs.

03:44Well, we got a great album out of it.

03:46What did it get recorded on?

03:48I think it might be an album you've imagined.

03:52Bez, I can't wait to see how you lead this team.

03:55It's Bez, ladies and gentlemen.

03:56What a treat.

03:56Clint Boone is here.

04:03It's an Inspiral Carpets, one of my favourite bands.

04:05You and Bez are good mates, is that right?

04:0738 years, I think, since we met.

04:10And since then, we've, like, regularly gigged together

04:12with our bands.

04:13We'd DJ all the time.

04:15Did three gigs with him last week.

04:16Proper bangers, you know what I mean?

04:18I love the Inspiral Carpets,

04:20but I just don't imagine that you were as off your heads

04:22as that lot, were you?

04:23We didn't need to.

04:24If you were just within three foot of him,

04:25you were stoned or battered or off your tits.

04:28What's the maddest thing you were involved with

04:30when you were with the Inspirals?

04:32Is it the one where I shat in a teapot?

04:33That's the one, yeah.

04:34It was in a hotel in Swiss Cottage.

04:44I just want that to be the end of the story.

04:48Why did you sit in a teapot?

04:49I was bored, I was drunk,

04:51and it was rock and roll.

04:52Tick.

04:53The three ticks.

04:55Half-fifth of the kettle.

04:56And that's why I never drink tea in all those whole rooms.

05:01Betsy Marla's been in there.

05:03Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:04Clint Booth, ladies and gentlemen!

05:10Ritpop queen,

05:12Patsy Kenseth is here!

05:18There's certain images that just sum up that period, I think,

05:21and you know the one that you're forever associated with

05:23who I think is so cool.

05:25Have a look at Patsy Kenseth back in the day.

05:28Remember that?

05:28It was a moment.

05:31It was a moment.

05:32It was a moment.

05:33Let's bring you back down to Earth, though.

05:35What happened with the golf cart on the M1?

05:39Liam and I had started seeing each other,

05:42and it was just as, what's the story?

05:44Morning Glory had come out, so it was growing, you know?

05:47And so we went to Nebworth and did the first night,

05:52and it was, you know, spectacular.

05:54And Liam and I forgot that there was a show the next day,

05:59so we decided to have a bit of a late night

06:02and nick a golf buggy from backstage

06:06and drive out onto this deserted, massive field.

06:12And Liam's going,

06:12yeah, I'll do a fucking right, do a right, do a left.

06:16So I'm driving the buggy car,

06:18and then next thing I know

06:20is, like, we're on a main road,

06:22literally onto the M1 on a golf cart.

06:27And he's going to me,

06:28yeah, do a fucking U-turn, do a U-turn.

06:32And I said, I can't fucking do a U-turn.

06:34It's a fucking golf buggy.

06:36What do you want me to fucking do?

06:38Anyway, the police, they pulled us over,

06:42and they said, hello, Mr. Gallagher,

06:44I think you've rather lost your way, haven't you?

06:47And we were both eyes out on stalks, obviously.

06:50Um, yes, um, we have

06:53please take us back and don't come into the caravan.

06:57Um, um, uh,

06:58cos there could be contraband.

07:01If at the end of this story, Patsy,

07:03someone doesn't shit in a teapot.

07:05Yeah, there's more, but I'm not going to say it.

07:08I have to take it to the grave.

07:14Danny from Supergrass is here.

07:16Woo!

07:20We are young!

07:23We're not, are we, Danny?

07:24No.

07:25We're not.

07:26Was it mental with the Supergrass back in the day?

07:29Yeah.

07:29We were fairly hedonistic.

07:31Were you?

07:31Yeah.

07:32Cos I've got to be honest, Danny,

07:33you've been on the show before,

07:34you're a delightful man.

07:35Yeah.

07:35I just think you're a lovely uncle

07:36who whittles in a shed.

07:38So you need to tell me some rock and roll stuff

07:40that happened.

07:41My earliest rock and roll memory

07:43was with these two.

07:44I was a big fan of Clint and Spiral Carpets

07:46when I was about 15.

07:47I did my first acid trip

07:48at one of his gigs.

07:50You took acid when you were 15?

07:51Jesus Christ,

07:52I wasn't comfortable with the show,

07:53but damn.

07:56We were chatting before

07:57about when I first met

07:59you and Gaz.

08:00Yeah.

08:01We always remembered it.

08:02Even before you became famous,

08:03we remembered these little kids,

08:04you know what I mean?

08:05And then you sat on the front of the stage

08:06right through the gig,

08:07didn't you?

08:08Like that,

08:08looking up.

08:09I remember you all saying,

08:10you know, Tom,

08:10just going scruffing my head

08:12at the front going,

08:12this little mentalist at the front,

08:14he ain't stopped jumping.

08:15And I was just like,

08:16yeah!

08:17My first thought would be like,

08:19why are these little two kids

08:20high on acid?

08:23Someone call their parents.

08:26Jamali,

08:26what were you up to in the 90s

08:27when the slot were all off their heads?

08:29Oh, mate,

08:30fuck,

08:30getting on it.

08:32No,

08:32I was born in 91,

08:34so I wasn't doing nothing.

08:36Don't make out

08:37you wouldn't have in a wild time.

08:38We've got proof.

08:39Oh,

08:40fuck!

08:40Come on!

08:43Right.

08:50Let's crack on.

08:52Calm down,

08:52Baz.

08:52First question.

08:54Noel's team,

08:54your Britpop question

08:55is all about these music legends.

08:57Take a look at this.

08:59Slip inside

09:00the eye of your mind

09:03Don't you know

09:04you might find

09:06I've had a place to play

09:08And after all

09:11You're my wonder one

09:17There they are.

09:24Of course,

09:25that's right,

09:26it wouldn't be Britpop

09:26without featuring

09:27the hairy potatoes

09:28at the back of the cupboard

09:29Oasis.

09:30But,

09:30can you tell me

09:31how a member of Oasis

09:33got into a pickle

09:34due to a medical complaint?

09:36Was it A,

09:36they had to cancel a gig once

09:38because Bonehead

09:39fell into a river

09:39and got Viles disease?

09:41Noel said,

09:42I'm not very good

09:42at the Manchester accent,

09:43full disclosure.

09:44There's no way.

09:47What?

09:56He said A.

09:59There's no way

10:00the gig could have gone ahead.

10:02His hands swelled up

10:03like Mickey Mouse's

10:04and that mouse

10:05had some big fucking hands.

10:08Was it B,

10:09at the Sixth Sense premiere,

10:11Noel missed the twist

10:12as he was in the loo

10:12with IBS?

10:14He said,

10:14I spoke to that kid

10:15from the film.

10:16Afterwards,

10:17he asked,

10:17did you guess he was dead

10:18and I had no idea

10:20what the fuck

10:20he was talking about?

10:21So I patted him on the head

10:22and slowly walked away.

10:24Shit film,

10:25shit night,

10:26although I did meet

10:27the Boddington's girl.

10:29Or was it C,

10:30whilst playing Glastonbury

10:32for the first time,

10:33Liam experienced

10:34a spicy flare-up

10:35of his psoriasis

10:36on his scalp.

10:37Two fans mistook

10:38his flaky skin for coke

10:39and decided

10:40they'd hoover it up.

10:42Liam said,

10:43they were taking it

10:43out of my hair

10:44and putting it

10:44on their gums

10:45and up their fucking noses.

10:47So there you go,

10:48there's your three.

10:49What do you think?

10:50Did Bonad get big hands?

10:52Well, I love that.

10:53I'd love it

10:54if he did have big hands.

10:56I think that sounds

10:57like Noel.

10:58Yeah, B's sort of

10:59in Noel's voice,

11:00isn't it?

11:00Like the Boddington's girl

11:01sounds like Noel,

11:02doesn't it?

11:02Exactly.

11:03I think B,

11:04I don't think C.

11:06You don't think fans

11:07were snorting

11:08his psoriasis

11:09on his head?

11:11Were you there?

11:12You might have been there.

11:13Glastonbury,

11:14erm...

11:15You were,

11:16because look how long

11:17it's taken you to remember.

11:20Well, you would know

11:21whether Liam had

11:21psoriasis on the scalp.

11:22Well, I mean,

11:24that's like asking a doctor

11:25about their patients.

11:28Sounds like he was

11:29flaky as fuck.

11:31I couldn't possibly

11:33tell you something

11:34like that.

11:35Hey, Bez,

11:37I've been told

11:38by the researchers

11:38that you had a medical thing

11:40that made me laugh

11:41for exactly one hour

11:42afterwards.

11:43What was it?

11:44Well, I had nearly

11:45the strangest rock and roll

11:46death ever,

11:47you know what I mean?

11:48A bank card

11:48and a shoulder

11:49overdose.

11:50That's right.

11:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:51Of all the things.

11:54Honestly, anyway,

11:55I had these, er,

11:57sardines

11:57and I got this, like,

11:59really bad stomachache

12:00after and I've heard

12:01like bicarb of soda

12:02sorts you right out.

12:04So I ran downstairs,

12:05got a big heap

12:06spoon of, uh,

12:07bicarb of soda,

12:09put it in my water,

12:10next it down,

12:11flush straight away,

12:12back end,

12:12front end,

12:13sorted it.

12:14Next thing,

12:14I felt this thing

12:15in my stomach.

12:16I thought,

12:17it's like a little bit left,

12:18I'll do a bit more.

12:19So I've got another

12:20table spoon of bicarb of soda,

12:23put it in there,

12:24neck that down,

12:25and, like,

12:26well, fucking hell,

12:27it's getting worse.

12:28So I did another,

12:29I did another table spoon

12:30of it,

12:31and next minute,

12:33I spent, like,

12:33the next, like,

12:3424 hours,

12:35remember them volcanoes

12:37where, like,

12:38the guy, like,

12:40just froth came out of it.

12:44But you know what,

12:46I found out later,

12:47they cleaned James

12:47out of the shit

12:48and all that,

12:49you know what I'm saying?

12:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:51I mean,

12:51I could have had

12:51a hundred guesses

12:53about what you took

12:55that almost killed you.

12:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:57OK,

12:58let's get back

12:58to the Gallaghers.

12:59They might have buried

13:00their hatchet now,

13:01but it hasn't always

13:02been the case.

13:03Noel once said about his mum,

13:04I liked her until she

13:05gave birth to Liam.

13:07It's a genuine quote.

13:11Trent,

13:11Noel Gallagher was your roadie,

13:13is that right?

13:13Yeah.

13:14Did he get kidnapped?

13:15What's that?

13:16Yeah, so the minibus

13:17with the spirals in the knoll

13:18was in London

13:19and a bit of a traffic jam

13:20and about two or three

13:22vehicles ahead

13:22was a Luton van

13:24and our drummer,

13:26Craig,

13:26had been mithering

13:27for ages

13:28for a cooler fan,

13:29you know,

13:29to cool him down on stage

13:31and we couldn't afford one

13:31and the one thing

13:33in the back of this van

13:34with the door open

13:35was a cooler fan

13:36in a box.

13:38The van's at the red light,

13:39our bus is a couple

13:40of vehicles behind.

13:42Craig says,

13:43Noel,

13:44there's one of them

13:44fucking fans I want,

13:46go and get it.

13:47So Noel jumps out of the van,

13:48runs round to the Luton,

13:50climbs in the back of it,

13:51picks the fan up

13:52and then the lights

13:53change to green

13:54and the bucket drives off.

13:56And Noel stubbed it like,

13:59like that.

14:00So he went missing

14:02for like half an hour

14:03and then found him

14:04still at the pedestrian

14:05crossing in Crouch End

14:06with a fucking fan in his arm.

14:09Okay,

14:10I think we need to get on,

14:11I think we need to guess.

14:12Oh God,

14:13the question,

14:14what was it?

14:16I would love it

14:17if Oasis fans

14:18were trying to

14:19snort Liam's

14:20psoriasis

14:21off of his shoulders,

14:22that's hilarious.

14:23I think B.

14:25You don't think it was

14:25maybe Bonet's big hands?

14:27I don't remember clown hands.

14:29But you think it's number two,

14:31don't you?

14:31I think it's number two.

14:32I think it's number two.

14:33You think,

14:33okay,

14:34I think it's C,

14:35but they see if you think it's B.

14:36All right,

14:37well,

14:38you

14:38are

14:39wrong.

14:41The answer is C.

14:44Liam Gallagher's fans

14:45mistook his psoriasis

14:47for Gautier

14:48and they snorted it off it.

14:52Do anyone here

14:53go to the Oasis reunion?

14:55I did,

14:55yeah.

14:55I've never seen anything like it.

14:57The atmosphere

14:58was unbelievable.

14:59The vibe

15:00throughout the city,

15:01even through the day,

15:01was like,

15:02biblical.

15:03Actually,

15:03you know,

15:03it's a bit of a cliche,

15:04but it's just,

15:05because it's the biggest

15:06feel-good story

15:07of the decade,

15:08isn't it?

15:08I did watch the pirate stream

15:09with someone's TikTok live.

15:12It's all shaky,

15:13but I've got the vibe.

15:14Yeah.

15:18Have you been?

15:19Did you go?

15:19No,

15:20because I watched

15:21the whole thing unfold

15:22and it was so magical,

15:25those memories.

15:26And I haven't seen Liam

15:27for nearly 26 years,

15:30but I'm so happy

15:32for Lennon,

15:33our son,

15:34because he's just gone

15:35to watch

15:36this cultural explosion.

15:38and I couldn't

15:40be happier

15:41for the band

15:42and for all the people

15:43that are rediscovering them.

15:44It's so nice

15:45to see two brothers

15:46make up,

15:46isn't it?

15:46It's beautiful.

15:47Yeah.

15:47Because I don't know about you,

15:48I was an arsehole

15:49to my sister.

15:51Well done,

15:52Oasis!

15:52Well done!

15:58Hard luck,

15:59no point for you there.

16:01Bez's team.

16:02Take a look at this.

16:03That was

16:23Pass Me the Big Bowl,

16:25this kid's head is massive,

16:26Tim Burgess and the charlatans.

16:28But can you tell me

16:29what intimate experience

16:31did the band

16:32like to engage in?

16:33Was it

16:34A.

16:35Before a show,

16:35the band would share

16:36a cocktail of each other's urine.

16:38Guitarist Mark Collins said

16:39we nicknamed it

16:40Dr. Bladder's Lucky Homebrew

16:42so that no one knew

16:43what we were up to.

16:44God knows where the idea

16:45came from,

16:46drugs probably,

16:47but it really did change me

16:48as a man,

16:49friend and a father.

16:52Or was it

16:52B.

16:53The band would blow cocaine

16:55up each other's bum holes.

16:56The technique required

16:58one paper cone,

16:59one thick straw

17:00and one Rizla paper.

17:02They called it

17:03genuinely

17:04Cocanus.

17:06A phrase coined

17:08by front man

17:08Tim Burgess

17:09who said,

17:10yeah,

17:11I just made it up.

17:12Two words,

17:12throw them together,

17:13portmanteau.

17:13Is that what they call it?

17:15C.

17:16Was it

17:16when stressed

17:17the band would

17:18calm themselves down

17:19by fingering

17:20and sniffing

17:20each other's belly buttons.

17:22Bassist Martin Blunt said

17:24it takes you out of your head

17:25and puts you right

17:26in the moment.

17:27When I pop my pinky in,

17:29I know the second

17:29I inhale that aroma,

17:31life will just

17:31make a little more sense.

17:34There it is.

17:36What do you think?

17:37Could you imagine

17:37them fingering

17:38each other's belly buttons?

17:38I could imagine

17:39every one of them

17:41things happening

17:41before a show.

17:42What,

17:43sticking your finger

17:43in someone's belly button?

17:44I was going to say,

17:45I think B sounds

17:46like a waste of coke.

17:47You've just got to

17:47numb ass.

17:49Isn't it good

17:50to put drugs

17:50up your bottom,

17:51Noel?

17:52Yeah,

17:52it's not bad.

17:52It's sport,

17:53it's sportless.

17:55Apparently Stevie

17:56Nick's roadie

17:57used to blow

17:58coke.

17:58Famous for it.

17:59Yeah.

17:59McDonald,

18:00McDonald's straw.

18:01I mean,

18:03the thing is,

18:04I wouldn't know,

18:05but you want to

18:06make sure that

18:07you blow

18:07and you don't

18:08suck.

18:10That's,

18:11that's really,

18:12I've got to be honest,

18:13Patsy,

18:14you don't need to be

18:14an expert to know

18:15that.

18:17All this chat

18:18about blowing coke,

18:19get someone to blow

18:19coke off,

18:20made me realise,

18:20I don't actually

18:21have any real

18:21good friends.

18:23I can't think of

18:24one friend that I

18:25could call up

18:25and be like,

18:26brother,

18:26I need a hit.

18:27No,

18:27no,

18:27I'm not bringing

18:28it.

18:28No.

18:30Like,

18:30as you think

18:31of the fool,

18:31you get a knock

18:32on the doorbell

18:32and it's Noel

18:33with a straw.

18:37What about

18:38this notion that

18:39they might have

18:39drunk each other's piss?

18:42It's a thing,

18:43that,

18:43though,

18:43isn't it?

18:44People on these

18:45weird things

18:45and they drink

18:46their own piss

18:47and all that.

18:47I don't understand

18:48this.

18:49How are they

18:49benefiting from

18:50drinking each other's

18:51bits?

18:51Like,

18:52I like the smell

18:52of my bellybutt

18:53and I get that

18:53and I can imagine

18:54that blowing coke

18:55up my asshole

18:56probably be nice.

18:59It'd be easy

19:00to do your asshole.

19:09It's like going

19:10under a bridge.

19:13I'm glad you made it

19:14clear it was a tall thing.

19:15I thought you had

19:16just said I had a

19:16big asshole.

19:20What do you think,

19:21Bez?

19:21Yeah,

19:22I'm not too sure.

19:23It's really,

19:23I'd like,

19:24I'd,

19:24I'd worry

19:25that they were

19:26doing any of

19:26them three things

19:27before they do.

19:28Or all of them.

19:29Yeah,

19:29yeah.

19:30But,

19:30it's definitely

19:31B.

19:32Before we find

19:32F.U.

19:33right,

19:33how do you know?

19:33It's in

19:34Tim's book.

19:34Oh,

19:35yeah,

19:35that'll do it.

19:35All right,

19:44let's lock it in.

19:44It's B.

19:45Yeah.

19:46You're right,

19:46it's B!

19:51The band

19:52would blow coke

19:54up each other's

19:54arses,

19:55and the activity

19:55was called

19:56cocaineous.

19:58Okay.

19:59Well done,

19:59Bez.

20:00You've got a point.

20:01Hey.

20:01It's fantasy.

20:02Go on.

20:03Time for a little

20:08break.

20:09We'll see you

20:09in a bit.

20:21Welcome back to

20:21Nevermind.

20:22The first time,

20:23Manchester

20:24versus Britpop.

20:26The show that

20:26proudly refused to

20:27cut down on your

20:28pork life and get

20:29some exercise.

20:29You know why?

20:30Because pork's

20:31delicious.

20:31Live fast,

20:32die young.

20:32Next up,

20:33it's the intro's

20:34right.

20:34Bears and Jamali,

20:35on your feet,

20:36please.

20:36You'll be

20:36performing the

20:37intro of a

20:38song to Clint.

20:39And remember,

20:39Clint,

20:41it is the

20:42title of the

20:42song we're

20:43looking for.

20:43Yeah,

20:44you read that.

20:44Go on.

20:45Here we go.

20:45Song one.

20:46Take it away,

20:46boys.

20:47I feel like I'm on drugs.

20:58I feel like I'm on drugs.

21:10I feel like I'm on a

21:12whole tub of

21:13bike up.

21:13I thought resurrection

21:17with the guitar

21:18was false.

21:19Sadly to you,

21:20that's your guess,

21:21resurrection.

21:21It's not the right

21:22answer.

21:22I'm passing it over.

21:23Is it stone roses?

21:24Is it waterfall?

21:25I'm not telling you.

21:26It's not waterfall.

21:28Ah,

21:28you're wrong.

21:29It was I want to be

21:30adored by the

21:31stone roses.

21:32Here's how it should've

21:33sounded.

21:33Yeah,

21:39pretty good though,

21:40wasn't it?

21:44Disgusting.

21:45I shouldn't have

21:45got it.

21:46When Ben said

21:47I want to,

21:47I shouldn't have

21:48got it.

21:50That was the stone

21:51roses with I want to

21:52be adored.

21:52Front man Ian Brown

21:53said we've got to

21:54ban all air freighted

21:56food.

21:57Carrots from Holland,

21:58potatoes from Egypt.

21:59It's all got to stop.

22:00And then he devoured

22:01a big bag of drugs

22:02transported from a

22:03Colombian man's

22:03bottom.

22:06Next one,

22:07please.

22:07Baz,

22:08Jamali,

22:09take it away.

22:10We've got to do it

22:10quick because it's

22:11going to leave

22:12Baz's mind like

22:13I can see it.

22:16You start it,

22:17brother.

22:24I'll do the old

22:25tune.

22:26Yeah,

22:26that's nice.

22:29You did the last

22:31song and then my

22:32part of it.

22:32Yeah,

22:33yeah,

22:33it's something.

22:35Stay off the bike

22:36up,

22:36kids.

22:38That was fun.

22:39It's fun.

22:40Baz,

22:40we're doing this.

22:55All right,

22:56that's it.

22:56Yeah,

22:56yeah,

22:57yeah,

22:58yeah,

22:59yeah,

23:00yeah,

23:01yeah,

23:02yeah,

23:03yeah,

23:04yeah,

23:05yeah,

23:06yeah.

23:06Come on then.

23:07One more time.

23:08Sorry, can I interrupt and just say, just to help Clint out, it could not sound less like this.

23:24I'm passing it over, Clint doesn't know.

23:26Give me a title of a song and let's put everyone out of their misery.

23:28Any song.

23:29Ring of Fire.

23:30It's got to be in Manchester.

23:31So close.

23:33Strap yourselves in.

23:34What about Step On?

23:35It was Step On by the Happy Mondays.

23:36Go on.

23:37I just got that up to you next year.

23:39That's what you said it.

23:41See you next year.

23:43That was Happy Mondays with Step On.

23:45Here's how it should have sounded.

23:52Oh, that's what I meant to say, dude.

23:55I forgot I thought.

23:58Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just remembering.

23:59That was the Happy Mondays with Step On.

24:01And for the avoidance of doubt, when I say the Happy Mondays, I mean Bez's bum.

24:07Bad luck.

24:09You guessed none, correct.

24:15Right, Noel and Danny, it's your turn to perform to Patsy.

24:18So on your feet, please.

24:19Okay.

24:20As always, Patsy, it's the title of the song we're looking for.

24:23Yeah.

24:24Song one.

24:24I'll do the drums.

24:25Are you ready?

24:26Off you go.

24:26Oh, I know it.

24:46I know it.

24:46Pass it over.

24:48Oh, my baby.

24:55Sounds like a song from Oliver.

24:57It was originally.

24:58Oh, my darling.

25:00No, incorrect.

25:01Pass it over.

25:01What's it called?

25:02Tender.

25:03Tender is correct.

25:04Yay.

25:04Go on, baby.

25:05Go on.

25:06It was Tender by Glenn.

25:07Thank you so much.

25:10You did very well.

25:12But they stole it.

25:15Yeah, good.

25:18Does he not sing on my darling?

25:20Yeah, he thinks that.

25:21Yeah.

25:28That was Tender by Blur, which was kept off the number one spot by Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time.

25:33Not because it was a better song, but because in the video, Britney was dressed as a sexy schoolgirl.

25:39And in the late 90s, casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.

25:44Yay!

25:51Talking about that.

25:54No, our band was kept off number one by R. Kelly.

25:58Yeah.

25:58Maybe I want to start a campaign that's actually going to take him off number one and reinstate us to number one.

26:04I agree.

26:05It's connecting.

26:06Right, right.

26:07Yeah.

26:08All right, song two.

26:10Take it away.

26:11Oh, yeah.

26:12This is...

26:13Bing.

26:14Bing.

26:15Bing.

26:16Bing.

26:17Bing.

26:18Bing.

26:19Bing.

26:20Bing.

26:21Bing.

26:22Bing.

26:23Bing.

26:24Bing.

26:25Bing.

26:26Bing.

26:27Bing.

26:28Bing.

26:29Bing.

26:30Bing.

26:31Bing.

26:32And I...

26:33Oh, connected?

26:34Yeah!

26:35Connection.

26:36Yeah!

26:37Well, you are right!

26:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

26:42Here's how it should have sounded.

26:46That was elastica and connection, as opposed to a poor connection with elastic, which is what my uncle claimed in court when he was arrested for exposing his genitals in parts.

27:09Fortunately, it was the late 90s, so casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.

27:17You got one right!

27:22Well done, guys.

27:24We did have easier ones, I think.

27:26I don't know how much of it was down to them being easier, how much of it was down to not having births.

27:36LAUGHTER

27:37I agree with that.

27:38No!

27:39No, no, he's right.

27:40You didn't.

27:41He's right!

27:42And at the end of that round, Noel's team have one point!

27:47Bet's team have two points!

27:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

27:51Our next round is called ID Parade, where our panel must identify a Manchester and Britpop legend.

28:01Noel's team, here's your line-up. For the audience at home, take a look at this.

28:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

28:22That was the brilliant Echo Belly with I Can't Imagine the World Without Me, but can you tell me which of our line-up is their bass player?

28:29Alex Kieser, is it? Number one, Echo Belly. Number two, Andrea Bocelli.

28:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

28:41Number three, erotic dreams about Lorraine Kelly.

28:44LAUGHTER

28:45Number four, why are my fingers always so smelly?

28:49LAUGHTER

28:51Or number five, I feel so lonely, please rub my belly!

28:54LAUGHTER

28:55There you go, Noel.

28:56That's a selection of very different men.

29:00Yeah.

29:01Is there anyone we can rule out early doors?

29:03LAUGHTER

29:05Well, I remember playing lots of gigs back in the day with you, son.

29:10You did play gigs with them?

29:11Yeah.

29:12I know it's not number five, cos I reckon I'd been out on loads of mad benders with him.

29:17With number five?

29:18Mm-hm.

29:19Yeah, I'm not sure he's the bass player in Echo Belly.

29:22Oh, alright.

29:23So you've been on the piss for number five, but he might not be in Echo Belly.

29:27LAUGHTER

29:28Is this the bass player?

29:30Bass player from Echo Belly.

29:31Cos from this angle, number one looks like he hasn't got any arms.

29:33Yeah.

29:34LAUGHTER

29:36Number two is speaking to me.

29:40Is he?

29:41He's speaking to me as well.

29:42He doesn't love nothing but the sea.

29:45Who?

29:46Number two.

29:47Stares at the ocean.

29:48LAUGHTER

29:49You get a lot of tall bass players.

29:50Tall bass players.

29:51I'd say number three.

29:52I think number three looks like he's capable of killing.

29:54LAUGHTER

29:55What do you think about number four?

29:56Number four, if he was in Echo Belly, then I'll be very shocked.

29:58LAUGHTER

29:59I feel like number four is a genie if you rub a vape...

30:02LAUGHTER

30:03LAUGHTER

30:04I feel like number four is a genie if you rub a vape...

30:06LAUGHTER

30:07LAUGHTER

30:08LAUGHTER

30:09No, seriously, Danny, you think you've been on the piss with number five...

30:11LAUGHTER

30:12But he's not in the bath.

30:13He's not in the bath.

30:14Listen, I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

30:15I... I've been on benders with a lot of people and I've definitely been on the bender with him.

30:21All right, no C, final answer. Let's go.

30:22You choose, I... I'd say three.

30:24You think it's one or three? I'd say three.

30:25I'd... I... I back you.

30:26OK.

30:27Lock it in, number three.

30:28You know, number three.

30:29Oh, you wouldn't.

30:31I'd, I'd? I'd say three.

30:32I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd back you.

30:34OK.

30:35Lock it in, number three.

30:37I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd... I'd back you...

30:39there's two, three...

30:41Yeah, I'd back you.

30:43OK.

30:44in number three number three locked in will the real alex keezer please step forward oh it's number

30:52four this is different times this is different times thanks for coming on you're welcome what's

31:13happening are you echo belly playing at the moment no okay let's hear it for alex keys

31:25okay that's his team your turn for the audience at home take a look at this

31:43that was paris angels with perfume bez's team what i want to know is which of our lineup is the singer

31:54ricky turner from the band is it number one perfume number two fart number three eggy number four burn

32:03number five pin juice

32:09pin juice over to you best team what's your opinion i think number four requested the biggest jeans

32:16that yeah yeah they are big they create their own ecosystem

32:26really number five looks so comfortable in that hat

32:31yeah i feel bad for number five he shouldn't be here should be in the crowd for time team

32:36what about number three's hat is that is that a manchester hat it looks like a lovely old lady's

32:41sun hat let's have some facts ricky lives in manchester oh here we go the research has been at work

32:54here we go ricky's favorite color is black

32:58oh hang on this is interesting ricky is terrified of sponges

33:02he doesn't like how they feel it nauseates him who might be scared of sponges

33:11i'm just drawing i think it's number one man that's a mancunian face right there look at him

33:15he's the he's the final boss

33:19all right well don't take your final guess until i give you this fact here

33:22if ricky could travel back in time he would love to show a caveman a 1980s ghetto blaster

33:36well we've got history with the paris angels

33:39and i have as well yeah so i know ricky oh but whoever's styled him for this

33:44he's done well hadn't there you know what i was like that which one's ricky there you know what

33:49i mean do you think it might be number two because he's a really good looking lad yeah oh

33:53oh can we have a different line-up yeah okay final guess i think number one bears team captain

34:01well i i kind of obviously i don't agree with number one what do you think yeah number one number one

34:06is it is is it number one because you know him well yeah yeah this still could be wrong

34:15let's find out if you're right will the real ricky turner please step forward

34:20oh yeah

34:27there's this team you're right

34:33yeah

34:33ricky thanks for coming on what are you up to at the moment uh work at spirit studios in manchester

34:39nice one

34:56time for a break we'll see you in a bit

35:09welcome back to number one of the first cards madchester versus britpop

35:16it's now time to play our new game uppers and downers

35:26over there there are two piles of cards one with madchester hits and one with brit pop hits

35:30we'll show you one of each and all you have to do is to correctly tell me which one charted higher

35:35for a point for your team but i can't do this all by myself i need some assistance so in manchester's

35:41corner please welcome the manchester maraca

35:44and in brit pop's corner please give it up for milky from coffee and tv

35:59just to limit your expectations if you think there's going to be band members inside those

36:10costumes then forget it it's two very badly paid members of production

36:15oh

36:22manchester maraca what is your first song

36:28that's right folks the costumes are impractical

36:31it's waterfall by the stone roses

36:40and milky you poor bastard what are you going with oh

36:45oh it's oasis supersonics i'm a little blessed of that

36:56all right who do we think charted higher you can discuss it with your teammates

37:03we've never had teams take something so seriously

37:06it's absolutely delighted carry serious um i don't know i don't know i weren't around

37:14go on i don't know give me your answer oasis was higher i think we would say the same

37:19you're both saying oasis charted higher yeah milky maraca could you please reveal your chart position

37:26uh

37:36this is

37:40it's gonna be

37:44You heard it.

37:45You did.

37:46You did.

37:47You did.

37:48Look at that.

37:49Look at that.

37:50I'm not going to get out of here.

37:51Look.

37:52I thought I could get out of here.

37:54Everyone's got to get out of here.

37:56Look.

37:57Look.

37:58Look.

37:59Look.

38:00Look.

38:01Look.

38:02Look.

38:03Supersonic picked at 31, losing to Waterfall at 27.

38:09So you're both wrong.

38:11Right.

38:12Shame on you.

38:13Okay.

38:14Call me suspicious.

38:15I think the audience are enjoying this game for the wrong reasons.

38:33All right.

38:34Song two.

38:35Manchester Maraca.

38:36What's your next song?

38:37The top left straight.

38:38Left to note for a local girl.

38:43And yet she's hot.

38:44Spiral carpets.

38:45This is how it feels.

38:47So this is how it feels to be lonely.

38:51This is how it feels to be small.

38:55And Milky.

38:59Quite a confident little swagger there from Milky.

39:03Oh, another banger.

39:05It's Pumping on Your Stereo by Supergrass.

39:14You can all have a guess.

39:16Who do you think charted higher?

39:19Surely one of you two knows this.

39:21We are going for Supergrass on this one.

39:23What do you think then, Danny?

39:24Danny, do you think you came in higher than Carpets?

39:27I don't know. I'd always go for one of my favourite ever bands in spiral carpets,

39:30but I don't know. What do you reckon?

39:32Well, I mean, I wasn't in either of those bands, so...

39:35Well, you should have asked.

39:37You should have asked.

39:38I was second-elved.

39:40Well, I didn't marry anyone in those bands.

39:45So, um...

39:46You should have asked.

39:47Yeah.

39:48Do you know what your result was for that, your chart result?

39:59I think that was 14, I think, I was.

40:00Oh, yeah.

40:01I got a feeling I was about eight, nine.

40:03Yeah, I think you were the winners on that one.

40:05Right, so you're saying Supergrass came in higher.

40:07Yeah.

40:08Supergrass are saying that they came in higher.

40:11Right.

40:12And Spiral Carpets are saying that they came in slightly lower.

40:16Yeah, we'll go with that.

40:18It's like me saying to you, Greg, what socks are you wearing right now?

40:22Shush.

40:22I'm not thinking about my songs.

40:24I'm not thinking about the songs.

40:26Like the audience, I'm just waiting for these two pricks to have to take the...

40:29Take the numbers off the front.

40:34Milky, Maraca, can you please reveal your chart position?

40:41You can't see.

40:43They can't see it.

40:45Hey, Milky!

40:46Oh, 11.

40:47Oh!

40:48Oh!

40:52You were right with your number.

41:08Yeah, yeah.

41:09I mean, who'd have thought this would be getting the biggest reaction?

41:13Pumping on your stereo, peaked at number 11.

41:16Beating, this is how it feels, came in at number 14.

41:20So both teams get a pint.

41:22And at the end of that round, Noel's team has two points and Bess's team has four points.

41:37Let's say a big thank you to our fabulous assistants.

41:39The Manchester, Maraca, and Milky Way.

41:43Bang on the tune, like some.

41:53Amazing.

41:54Just listening to the music tonight, to be honest with you, it's just, it's so joyful.

41:59I kind of don't relate to much music these days and this has just been like, you know...

42:05Sort of a batch of your youth.

42:06Get, hasn't it?

42:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:08It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a real celebration.

42:10Sorry to get all deep there.

42:16Right.

42:17It's time for next lines.

42:19I'll give you the first line.

42:20You tell me the next one.

42:21You get a point.

42:22Simple as that.

42:22You're up against the clock.

42:24This could be important.

42:25Noel's team, you're up first and your time starts now.

42:32Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...

42:36Park life.

42:36Correct, blur, park life.

42:38He sips another rum and coke.

42:40And told a dirty joke, ocean colour scene, the day we caught the train.

42:44We are young, we run green.

42:46We are green.

42:47We are green.

42:47Nice and clean.

42:48We are green.

42:48Nice and clean.

42:49Supergrass, all right.

42:50Yes, there's love if you want it.

42:52Love if you want it.

42:53Don't sound like a sonnet.

42:54Don't sound like a sonnet.

42:55The verb sonnet.

42:56Oh, Deborah, do you recall?

42:58The wood chip on the wall.

42:59Nope.

43:00Your house was very small.

43:02Very small.

43:02Disco 2000.

43:04She got one in the oven.

43:05Oven.

43:06Oasis?

43:07But it's nothing to do with me.

43:08Oasis.

43:08She's electric.

43:09Yes.

43:09I don't understand how a heart is a spade.

43:14Somehow the vital connection is made.

43:16Elastica connection.

43:17If it's good enough for you.

43:19It's good enough for me.

43:21Me, correct.

43:22Dodgy, good enough.

43:23Do you remember the time?

43:25Well done, Noel's team.

43:31You've got four right.

43:32Okay, Bess's team.

43:33Here's yours.

43:34You need three points to win.

43:35Come on.

43:36You're against the clock.

43:38And your time starts now.

43:43Oh, sit down.

43:44Oh, sit down.

43:45Sit down next to me.

43:46Correct, James.

43:47Sit down.

43:48She'll carry on through it all.

43:49She's a waterfall.

43:50The stone rose is waterfall.

43:52Don't you know he can make you forget you're a man?

43:54You're a man.

43:56You're twisting my melon, man.

43:57Happy Mondays.

43:58Step off.

43:58Oh, children.

43:59Oh, man.

44:00See, wait, you said it.

44:03Oh, it's my fault.

44:04It's your fault.

44:05Can you dig it?

44:07Oh, yeah.

44:08Can you dig it?

44:09Yeah, correct.

44:10The mob turtles.

44:11Can you dig it?

44:12Itchy and scratchy come running up the alley.

44:15Charlotten.

44:15If you'll be good, I'll be good to your daddy.

44:17The Charlotten's North Country boy.

44:18Husband don't know what he's done.

44:20Kids don't know what's wrong with more.

44:22Correct.

44:22It's spiral carpets.

44:23This is how it feels.

44:25Yippee, yippee, yay, yay, yay.

44:27I had to crucify somebody today.

44:29Some brothers is out.

44:30I'll give it you.

44:31Happy Mondays.

44:31Kinky Afro.

44:32I can see her.

44:33Here she comes.

44:34Stone roses.

44:36Yeah.

44:36Here she comes.

44:37She bangs the drums.

44:38She bangs the drums.

44:38Stone roses.

44:39She bangs the drums.

44:40Yeah.

44:47That sound means it's the end of the round and it's the end of the show.

44:49And I can tell you that Noel's team have six points.

44:52But the winners with nine points.

44:54There's his team.

45:00Thanks to Charlie, Bez, Clint, Maxie, Noel and Danny.

45:04Good night.

45:05Good night.

45:19Good night.

45:43You

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