- 2 days ago
Today's contestants are Stan & Amanda Short from Middlesex, Tudor & Anwen Tudor-Evans from Wales, Peppy & Kern Yates from Yorkshire, and Janet & Mick Myring from Surrey. And hosting the show is...Jim Davidson! Yes, in a surprise twist for audiences Brucie was ill, so Jim was called to take over temporarily with regular assistant Rosemary Ford and it was on the strength of his performance here that he got the job permanently when Bruce stepped down later that year. Jim is certainly quick with the repartee and a bundle of energy - probably too much at times for the contestants - and doesn't make light of his recent headlines in the newspapers regarding his "four weddings and a punch up" as he termed it. Mind you, neither do the show's makers, who deliberately pick such games as "The Laughing Policeman" (with Frank Carson), "Sporting Bits" (guess the sportsman's voice to the sport), "Chicken Routine" (with Norman Collier and where one woman looks mortified at having to do this), and Bread Dough making before the surviving two teams head off in a catwalk finale. But who will be strutting their stuff to the conveyor belt of prizes? Watch on and find out...
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FunTranscript
00:00Life is the name of the game, and I want to play the game with you.
00:08Life can be terribly great if you don't play the game with two.
00:15And I want to play the game with you.
00:30Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.
00:37Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and children. Welcome to the Generation Game.
00:41Surprised to see me, to see me?
00:44Surprise!
00:45Yeah, not as surprised as I am, I can tell you that.
00:47Well, as you probably know, ladies and gentlemen, Bruce can't be with us this week because he's not too well.
00:52He's worse than that.
00:54We do wish you well, Bruce, but you're probably like, what am I doing here?
00:58Well, I'll tell you what I'm doing here.
00:59I was mugged enough to answer the phone when they were looking for someone to do it.
01:03Yeah, they said, Davidson, it's either this or a six-minute solo spot on Songs of Praise.
01:09It's a shame, really, because I was just in the middle of filming my own life story.
01:12Wonderful, epic movie. You've already heard of it.
01:14Four weddings and a punch-up.
01:16I'm not only stepping into Bruce's show tonight, I'm actually stepping in his shoes as well.
01:21Worse than that, I am stepping into his jokes, right?
01:24So if I'm not funny, it's his fault.
01:26Are you all right, Bruce?
01:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:28And Helen, if I do put my foot in it tonight, I know I'll be all right, because I've got someone to help me.
01:33The gorgeous, the lovely, the wife will kill me.
01:36Rosemary Ford!
01:37Actually, listen, you know, I must tell you, I've always been a fan of yours.
01:53She's always been a fan of mine.
01:54Yeah, yeah. Do you know, I remember, I popped into your dressing room.
01:58And there you were sat behind this big pile of, you know, fan mail.
02:03No, no, that weren't fan mail, Rosie, no.
02:05Wasn't it?
02:06Speeding tickets.
02:08Who's our first contestant, Rosie?
02:10Okay, Bruce.
02:11There.
02:12Oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:14Bruce!
02:15Oh, I feel it.
02:17So I've been up on here five minutes and she's four-sifed me off.
02:20Oh, my God.
02:21I'm all bruised up.
02:22So you should be, sorry.
02:23But I must tell you, John, you look much better without the beer.
02:25Oh, God.
02:27Well, look, look.
02:28I think I'd actually better, you know, explain the rules.
02:30Oh, listen, I know the rules.
02:31Don't worry about it.
02:31I know the rules.
02:33Put as many balls as you can.
02:34No, I'm talking about our rules.
02:40All right, if I go wrong tonight, you'd domineer me, wasn't it?
02:42Yes, so I'm going to introduce the contestants and get on your mark.
02:45On me, Mark.
02:45All right.
02:46They're from Middlesex.
02:47They're father and daughter, Stan and Amanda Short.
02:59All right.
03:00How are you?
03:01All right.
03:01Hi.
03:02Amanda Short.
03:03Now, how short are you?
03:04Five foot two and a half.
03:05And what do you do, Amanda Short?
03:07I'm a sales exec for a video distribution company who specialise in Japanese animation.
03:12How long have you been engaged?
03:13Engaged for three years.
03:14He's a good bloke.
03:16He ain't planning to do it, is he?
03:18Oh, you're not planning.
03:20Well, you're in a video.
03:21Can't you put yourself on fast forward and catch it?
03:22Have a long while, isn't it?
03:24Three years, six years, yeah.
03:26Another year and it's a mirror broken, isn't it?
03:28Right now, Stan Short.
03:29A pair of shorts.
03:30That was one of mine, Bruce.
03:34You can get by the way.
03:37Stan, and what do you do, Stan?
03:40Right.
03:40I'm the minister of an evangelical and a charismatic church.
03:44The Reverend Short?
03:45That's right.
03:46Well, I was going to ask you if you ever see me live, but I won't invite you to.
03:49And you've been married to Claire for 27 years.
03:52That's right.
03:53The do-it-yourself job?
03:55No, mate.
03:56You could, couldn't you, save all the money.
03:57I now pronounce me to be my own husband and call me home breakfast.
04:01Did you officiate?
04:03Oh, you didn't drink that much, right?
04:04You didn't drink that much.
04:05Tell us about the proposal.
04:06Well, proposals, by the very nature of the case, tend to be nice, quiet, private things.
04:10I wouldn't know, mate.
04:12You wouldn't know.
04:12Well, we had a favourite spot at the river, down by Runnymede.
04:17Oh, yeah, I don't know that.
04:18And we went there, thinking it would be nice and quiet, and we would just walk along the
04:21towpath together, hand in hand, and at some special moment, I would turn to Claire and
04:27ask the question.
04:28In the event, when we got there, we'd only been there a moment or two, and a coach arrived.
04:32No.
04:32And they poured out of it.
04:34The mother-in-laws.
04:37It was just a load of people.
04:39I don't know who they were.
04:40And you were down on one knee?
04:41Well, I was heading in that direction.
04:44Please.
04:49I know what you meant, Daniel.
04:51Is that a defective question?
04:53The proposal went ahead, and she's in the audience somewhere now.
04:56Is she?
04:57Yeah.
04:58Oh, that's nice.
04:59And it had Runnymede as well.
05:00So not only was it signed at the bottom, proposed as well.
05:03That's absolutely right.
05:04Well, that's good.
05:04And he'd been married for thousands of years.
05:06Right, now then.
05:07Do people get nervous at weddings?
05:09Oh, yes.
05:10Is that the most nervous?
05:10Absolutely.
05:11Yeah?
05:11Has anyone ever changed their mind?
05:13I mean, why weren't you my vicar, Stan?
05:16No, I haven't actually had anybody change their mind, but I certainly had a change of circumstance.
05:21There was one...
05:21You do them as well.
05:22I thought that was Jewish.
05:25Okay, Jewish people.
05:26It's a rabbi.
05:26Are you getting old as well?
05:30Take yourself over there.
05:31Put the hand up.
05:32There we are.
05:32Put the hand up.
05:33Put the hand up.
05:33Put the hand up.
05:33Put the hand up.
05:33What a story, eh?
05:37Where did you find them?
05:40Right, Rose, who have we got next?
05:42Right.
05:42Our second team's...
05:44It's going well so far, isn't it?
05:45It is.
05:46Who have we got next?
05:47Right, our second team...
05:47Just tell me if I'm going wrong on you.
05:48No, no, no.
05:49Right, right, right, right.
05:50It's not important.
05:50I won't address no more.
05:51I might go wrong on this bit.
05:52Our second team's...
05:52Nice frog.
05:53Our second team's from Gwyneth and Kluid.
06:00Tudor and Anwen Tudor-Evans.
06:11How are you going?
06:12You've got to get on all these funny bars.
06:13It's hard work, eh?
06:16Anwen, what do you do?
06:18I'm a nurse.
06:19I work for a wholesale pharmaceutical company.
06:21What, drugs and...
06:23Well, no, it's, um, incontinence stuff.
06:27Pardon me?
06:28Incontinence products, you know.
06:34Are you taking the...
06:35Do you know what?
06:40I've noticed this.
06:41They've sassed out that I'm going to be on it
06:43and every little thing that can go either way,
06:45they put it on it.
06:46So what, you've sort of stopped all the...
06:48and after the...
06:50mob and buckets, all the way out.
06:53So, yes, right, we'll skip past that.
06:56And you're married to Richard.
06:57What does he do?
06:58He's a police officer.
06:59I knew it!
07:03He's a police officer.
07:04Oh, so you both sort of take samples, in a way.
07:07I'll never bump into him.
07:09Okay, and when...
07:10And this is Dad, Tudor.
07:12Tudor, hello there.
07:13Hello, Tudor.
07:13I've got all your furniture, mate.
07:14Don't mock.
07:17I know, it's all the names, isn't it?
07:18Don't mock.
07:19I was thinking about them.
07:20Now, ah!
07:21You're a doctor.
07:22I am, yes.
07:23What, a GP?
07:23Yes.
07:24Oh, smashing.
07:25You look a sort of a GP.
07:26You look sort of...
07:27Yeah, yeah.
07:28How am I doing?
07:28How's the respirations?
07:29I feel...
07:30All right.
07:32Oh, you'll do.
07:33I'll do.
07:34You know, there's a great joke, isn't there, about the doctor and the plumber.
07:38It's the same thing where the doctor's loo was blocked up, right?
07:41And he says to his wife, the toilet's blocked up.
07:43She said, well, phone the plumber.
07:44And he said, I can't phone her up.
07:45It's three o'clock in the morning.
07:46She said, well, if you were a doctor, he'd phone you.
07:48He said, what?
07:49Phone the plumber.
07:50I said, look, I'm the doctor.
07:51You get round here.
07:52I come round and sort you out.
07:53So the plumber turned up with matchsticks holding his eyes open like that.
07:55He said, where is it?
07:56He said, the loo's blocked up.
07:57Lifted the...
07:57Threw two aspirins down it, pulled the chain, said, it is not better in the morning.
08:01Give me a call.
08:08Right.
08:09You've been married to Beryl for 34 years.
08:12Yes.
08:13That's lovely, isn't it, eh?
08:14Yes.
08:14And where did you meet her?
08:15I met Beryl in the laboratory in the hospital and...
08:18What, you grew her?
08:22Frankenstein.
08:24No, really, in the laboratory.
08:25I met her and the first time I saw her, I said,
08:27I'm going to marry you one day and 34 years later we're still married.
08:30Well, I never hope.
08:32I never walk into the laboratory like that.
08:35Well, welcome to the show.
08:37Go over there and have a sit down.
08:38We'll say our first game.
08:39Off you go.
08:43Before we play our first game,
08:45I'd just like to remind that our contestants here,
08:47I'd just like to tell you,
08:47the contestants have no idea what we've got planned for them.
08:51Snap.
08:52You've got much of an idea either.
08:54They don't rehearse, so in fact, this is your rehearsal, okay?
08:57Now, our first game is called, don't I know it,
09:00The Laughing Policeman.
09:01Personally, I've never seen one laughing yet,
09:03so come here and join me, Rosie.
09:06Thank you, the music.
09:08Here we go.
09:09I know a fat old policeman,
09:13he's always down our street.
09:15A fat and jolly red-faced man,
09:16he really is a treat.
09:18He's too kind for a policeman.
09:20He's never known to frown.
09:22And everybody says that he's the happiest man in town.
09:26I love a pon-pon, Judy.
09:43I love a pon-my bitch.
09:45I love a nasty body while honking down the street.
09:49I've never heard about laughing.
09:51I've never read, thanks.
09:53I've never heard about it.
09:55I love the tree crap.
09:57Holding it!
10:01Good, good, Frank.
10:02Give it up.
10:09I think, finish it up.
10:12Are you ready?
10:15Great crowd, please.
10:17That's all there is to it.
10:21Okay, go and get yourself ready.
10:23You go and get yourself ready.
10:24Frank, great to see you, Frank.
10:26Yeah, great to see you, Jimbo.
10:27Oh, it's made me laugh.
10:28You do make me laugh.
10:28Didn't I see you on the pavement
10:30outside the Hilton Hotel this morning?
10:31Yes, I'm stopping there.
10:32What, the Hilton Hotel?
10:33No, the pavement outside.
10:35I thought I'd hold the gear on
10:37outside the BBR,
10:38and I thought I'd have a bit of a gear.
10:39There was a Welshman driving,
10:40and I said, stop.
10:42You're speeding up to take your name and address.
10:43What's your name?
10:44He said, go in the event.
10:45I put down, I said, go in the event.
10:46I said, where do you come from?
10:47He said, can't fire, put,
10:49go get us, go get us,
10:49go get us, go get us.
10:52I said, I'll let you off this time.
10:53Don't let it happen.
10:55Harry, Carlson, will you come and do some marking?
10:58Harry, Carlson, come and do some marking.
11:00Oh, dear.
11:03Right, come on, there.
11:04Give them a hand.
11:05Give them a hand.
11:06On your mark.
11:10Now then.
11:11There you go.
11:13Thank you for the leader.
11:14He never can stop laughing.
11:18He never really tried.
11:19But once he did arrest a man
11:21and laughed until he cried.
11:23Go on, Stan.
11:30He's gone down.
11:31He's gone down.
11:32That's it.
11:34What's the truth?
11:35Oh, my God.
11:37He he he he.
11:38There you go.
11:38You've done, Amanda.
11:40Oh, my God.
11:41What was that?
11:44What?
11:46Go on, that's big one.
11:47Bit of movement.
11:52Here we go.
11:54Come on, big one.
11:57What's your teeth?
11:58Who's got the license?
11:59What's this?
12:02What's this?
12:03What's this?
12:04Oh, yeah.
12:05Doesn't notice from here.
12:08Oh, dear.
12:09Oh, dear.
12:10Oh, dear.
12:11Oh, dear.
12:13Oh, dear.
12:15Oh, dear.
12:22Oh, dear.
12:24All together,帰le in.
12:27Oh, dear.
12:27I can't believe this.
12:47I can't believe this.
12:51Well, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
12:53Well, that's got us off to a good start, isn't it?
12:55Frank, we're going to come and do some marking now.
12:57APPLAUSE
12:58Isn't that funny?
13:05Well, I must say, I was sitting there,
13:07I was absolutely hilarious.
13:08Yeah, great, great sport, aren't I?
13:10I'll have to give the marks now.
13:12Stan, of course, I must say, stole the show.
13:16You can't steal things, he's a vicar.
13:19I'm going to give Stan nine.
13:21Nine!
13:21Nine, nine, three, three, three.
13:25Not bad, Stan.
13:26And Amanda, Amanda was very, very good as well.
13:29And Amanda really got into the spirit of things,
13:31so I'm going to give Amanda eight.
13:32Eight!
13:34And we're still open now.
13:35Now, coming round to our Welsh team here,
13:39and you're very welcome to this country.
13:43LAUGHTER
13:43I thought, I thought, Anwen...
13:46Yes.
13:46...is absolutely hilarious.
13:47Yes.
13:48So I'm going to give Anwen nine.
13:50And, of course, Tudor was excellent as well,
13:58and they all done so well,
13:59and I gave Tudor eight.
14:01Aye?
14:02Mm-hm.
14:04Give it.
14:04Thank you, Alison, ladies and gentlemen.
14:06Thanks for coming, Stan.
14:07Thank you, Alison.
14:08Come on, then.
14:09Come on.
14:10Here you come, Tudor.
14:11Get around for a strum-down.
14:12I've been dying to say this.
14:14What's on the board, Miss Ford?
14:17Well, Stan and Amanda have 17.
14:20Anwen and Tudor also have 17.
14:23Right.
14:24Seven, eight, 17.
14:26Right, Adam, our second game is called Sporting Bits.
14:31Calm down.
14:32It's not those bits.
14:33Right, you'll hear the voices of some very famous sporting celebrities,
14:36OK?
14:37Right?
14:37And the ladies, all they've got to do is write down who they think it is,
14:40and the gentlemen will be at the back, right,
14:42with a job lot of bits and pieces,
14:43and you've got to hold up an article
14:45which is associated with whatever voice you think it is,
14:48or if it's closed, right,
14:49basically, if you can get it on, get it on.
14:51We're all here for a bit of a laugh, aren't we?
14:52Oh, we could do it, but I can tell you that.
14:54OK, to your lecterns and tables, go.
14:58Good, mate.
14:59Good, mate.
15:01No peeking.
15:02No peeking.
15:03Back at the table.
15:04Right, you're back there, Stan.
15:05You're behind there with all the bits and pieces.
15:07Get your hat off now.
15:08OK, right, then.
15:09Can we have our first voice, please?
15:12It's a different time.
15:13It's a different age.
15:15I'm very keen to carve a niche for myself
15:17and really just find out for myself what I'm capable of doing.
15:22Now, then.
15:23Who's that?
15:24Hey.
15:25Hey?
15:25What did you do?
15:26Tony Blair, I thought.
15:27Don't eat eaters.
15:28You didn't even listen to it, did you?
15:34Well, just guess anyway.
15:36Right, then, Rose, have you got an answer?
15:38Yes, we certainly have.
15:39Right, let's see who it is.
15:40It is Damon Hill.
15:43Yes.
15:44And nearly...
15:45Yes.
15:47And nearly world champion.
15:49OK, Rose, who have you got?
15:50Well, we've got Will Carling, so nothing there.
15:53And we've got the right article, which is two points.
15:56Two points, the right article.
15:57He's got the bloke with the bald head.
16:01Then Duncan Goodyear.
16:03I think they're two of the...
16:04He went bowling the other day, you know,
16:05and someone stuck two fingers up his nose
16:07and slung him down the alley.
16:09And what have we got here?
16:10We've got boxing gloves.
16:11So, Stan, that's the wrong answer as well.
16:13So, no points over here.
16:15Here we are.
16:16Let's have our next one, please.
16:18Well, no, I mean...
16:20I just, you know, you don't really think about it
16:21because he was such a friendly person, you know,
16:23and I think once you get really friendly with people,
16:26you know, you look beyond that.
16:29And I just felt that, you know,
16:31he was a really nice friend.
16:34Now.
16:36Now, then.
16:37Yeah.
16:38Who have we got?
16:40Right, have we got an answer there?
16:41You've got answers over here, yes?
16:42Yes.
16:44We've got one here, and I can't wait for you to hear this.
16:47Let's see who it is.
16:49It is, of course.
16:50Oh, yes.
16:51Linford Christie.
16:53Yes.
16:55What have we got?
16:55Right, we've got Ryan Giggs.
16:58Ryan Giggs.
16:59Which is wrong.
17:00And also the wrong article as well.
17:02Oh, so that's wrong.
17:03So nothing here at all.
17:03We've got Steve Davis.
17:06Who'd like to think he's Linford Christie.
17:09And what have we got there?
17:11No, well, that's wrong.
17:12That's Linford Christie.
17:13I'm sure that sort of does go with it, yes.
17:15But not quite.
17:16Let's have the next one, please.
17:22You know, I was down in the dungeon in the lower one.
17:26There was a blind masseur.
17:28Right.
17:29This man.
17:30And he didn't really do much good because he was so gentle.
17:33He didn't feel anything, but he was so sweet.
17:35I couldn't tell him anyway.
17:36No, listen to the buzz going round.
17:44Okay, are we ready, Rosie?
17:46Yes, we are.
17:46Well, let's see who it is.
17:47And it is, oh, former Wimbledon champion, about 400 times running, Martina Navratilova.
17:54Who have you got, Rosie?
17:55Right, we've got two points here with Navratilova, Martina.
17:58And we've got two points here with the correct article.
18:00Right, let's see what we've got.
18:01Oh, we've got Martina Navratilova, so no points for spelling, but two points for that.
18:07And Stan.
18:08I've got the tennis ball.
18:09You have got the tennis ball.
18:10Right, that's absolutely right.
18:12Fantastic.
18:12And let's have our next voice.
18:15Very happy.
18:16I remember that I like to play all the time, you know, and I was into everything, and I
18:20like to just be a part of everything.
18:22And it was fun growing up.
18:24I wish I can go back to being a kid.
18:31Right, we're okay here.
18:32Right, let's see who it is.
18:34Lennox Lewis.
18:37Former World Heavyweight Boxing Champion.
18:41Wait, you're going to see this.
18:43Who have you got, Rosie?
18:44Right, we have John Barnes.
18:46Oh, John Barnes, yeah.
18:47And the wrong article, so we've got nothing at all.
18:50Wrong article.
18:50Well, we've got, listen to this, Kevin Keegan.
18:55Oh, dear.
18:56Kevin, no, not quite.
18:58And we've got, yes, that's not right either, Stan, so we've got no points here.
19:03Okay, let's go to our last one, and quite a favourite person of mine.
19:06Yeah, we hadn't got a lot of money.
19:08My father was a lorry driver.
19:09We lived in a fairly small house.
19:12You know, but my mother made sure we were always well-dressed, and, you know, we always
19:15eat well.
19:16But we hadn't got a lot of money.
19:18Here we go.
19:19So, it's not Neil Kinnock.
19:21Wrong accent.
19:22Okay.
19:23How are we doing, Rosie?
19:24Yes, we're there.
19:25Right, okay, here we go.
19:26And the answer is, there he is, Dennis Taylor.
19:31Love him.
19:32Right, now, Rosie, what have we got?
19:34John Virgo.
19:35Yeah, put as many balls as you can.
19:41Let's go and see what you would have.
19:43What have you got right there?
19:43We've got the snooker ball, so we're right.
19:45Got the snooker ball.
19:45Yes, that's very good.
19:47Well, we've got snooker player with the big glasses.
19:50Can we give her that?
19:51Are we feeling generous?
19:52Yes.
19:52Two points.
19:53And we've got the snooker ball there with Stan.
19:58Well, that's great.
19:59What a good game.
20:00Come on down there.
20:01Down there, Stan.
20:01Come on.
20:07Right.
20:08Here we go.
20:10What's on the board?
20:12Miss Ford.
20:13Well, Stan and Amanda have 25.
20:16Anwen and Tudor have 25.
20:19Oh, no.
20:21Oh, no, right.
20:23It's a tie-break, then.
20:26Trust me to get a tie-break on me first day out.
20:29Right, here we go.
20:31Who sang the theme tune to the movie Goldfinger?
20:35Shirley Bassey.
20:36Shirley Bassey.
20:37The correct answer.
20:39Do we respect Shirley Bassey?
20:41Congratulations.
20:42You're through.
20:42Oh, Anwen.
20:43Never mind.
20:44Give it a pick.
20:44Yes.
20:46Tudor, thanks very much for coming along.
20:48Well, you don't leave anything behind you.
20:49You've got your Generation Game telephone thing.
20:51It's quite nice, isn't it?
20:52I'll give you a ring three o'clock in the morning if I'm feeling a bit sorry.
20:55Give a nice round of applause, ladies and gentlemen.
20:57Yes.
20:58And we'll be seeing you in our grand final.
21:00Go on, Tudor.
21:05Find these crowds.
21:07Right.
21:08Rosie, who's our next team?
21:10Right.
21:11Our third team's from West Yorkshire.
21:13They're mother and son, Peppy and Kern Yates.
21:25Peppy, mother and son.
21:26Blimey, you're a big one, mate.
21:28That's a free-thready week job, isn't it?
21:31Peppy and Kern.
21:32Peppy and Kern.
21:33Sounds like a pair of puppies.
21:35Hi, it's Peppy and Kern, Joel.
21:37Right, you are Peppy Yates.
21:39I am, yes.
21:40Any relation to Jess or Paula?
21:43Right, are you married to Dave for 22 years?
21:46Where'd you meet him?
21:47I met him in a travel agency.
21:49Oh, he was the last resort?
21:50Last resort.
21:50Yeah.
21:51They'll do that.
21:52No, I met him at school.
21:53We were 11.
21:53And he first proposed to me when I am...
21:55When he was 12?
21:56No, 13.
21:5713.
21:57When we got engaged, you know, he watched their poetic.
22:00There she goes.
22:00Yeah.
22:01My darling, darling ducky, I love you true and mucky.
22:04Come to my arms like a bundle of charms and stick to me heart like pussy.
22:09Yeah, it's sick.
22:11Sick.
22:12It's all right.
22:13It's all right.
22:15It's sick.
22:16You should have said to her, darling Mr. Yates, one thing a woman hates.
22:19If you're not up to do what a man should do, send round all your mates.
22:25Kern, you are Peppy's son.
22:27Yeah.
22:28You're a big lad, mate.
22:28How much do you weigh?
22:3014 stone.
22:3114 stone.
22:32And that's an England rugby.
22:33Is that an England rugby thingy there?
22:35Yeah.
22:35Could you play rugby, Kern?
22:36Play for Wakefield Club.
22:37Oh, you're a professional rugby player?
22:38No, I'm not professional.
22:39An amateur rugby player?
22:40Yeah.
22:40Good guess, wasn't it?
22:43Right, that's it.
22:44What do you do, mate?
22:45I'm a vehicle preparation manager.
22:46What's that mean?
22:47I'm at scrub cars.
22:51You're the only one whose son's a scrubber.
22:56Yeah, you just pick them up under your arm and walk you through a car wash.
22:59You've got injured playing rugby.
23:02Listen to this.
23:03Yeah, I was playing rugby for my school side when I was a bit younger.
23:06Tackle this fella.
23:07Turn around and bit me bum cheek.
23:09Not really.
23:10I thought there was a comma.
23:11I thought it said here, bit me bum cheek.
23:13No.
23:15Put me right on the bum cheek.
23:16Did he?
23:17You've got an unusual hobby as well, haven't you?
23:19Tell these people what you do.
23:21You chew things, don't you?
23:22Yeah, I love chewing plastic.
23:23Anything plastic.
23:24Little...
23:24My sister's my little ponies.
23:25Well, that's something to eat for us.
23:30Did they actually eat plastic soldiers?
23:32We'll take that over there, have a bit of scoff.
23:34Cheers.
23:34Go and sit there and we'll get the other couple on.
23:36Give them a nice round of applause.
23:40Well, I never.
23:43Eat the plastic soldiers.
23:44Right.
23:4514?
23:4514.
23:46Right.
23:46Right.
23:46Fair from, sorry.
23:47They're mother and son, Janet and Mick Myring.
23:51How are you doing, Mick?
24:05Mother and son.
24:06And you're married to...
24:07Robin.
24:08Robin.
24:08And tell us about the wedding night.
24:10Well, we had our wedding night in Margate.
24:13Oh, terrific.
24:14Yeah?
24:15Yeah.
24:15And we went down there by train.
24:18And when we got into the carriage,
24:20there was a friend of my husband's already in the carriage
24:22and we were looking all wedding-y
24:24and wanting to be by ourselves
24:26and he just wanted to talk, talk, talk.
24:28Oh, did he?
24:28Yeah, he wouldn't get lost.
24:29Couldn't take the hint at all?
24:30No.
24:31And when we got down to Margate, it was so cold,
24:33we just went and had an Indian curry.
24:37Well, I suppose that's one way
24:38of getting through your honeymoon night, really.
24:41It must have put the wind up him.
24:44And it says here,
24:46the person you would most like to meet,
24:48apart from me and Rosie,
24:50Barry Manilow.
24:53We have spared no expense
24:55and direct from his West End show,
24:57here is just for you, Janet,
24:59and especially a little treat
25:00because it's my first show, right?
25:02Barry Manilow!
25:10Right, here we go, then.
25:11Let's speak to Mick Myring.
25:13Do you know what Myring actually stands for, mate?
25:16Myring, yes, it's a Dutch name.
25:17It's Bog Man.
25:19Bog Man?
25:20Yes.
25:21Shaking your hand as well.
25:24Oh, listen!
25:26Right, and your girlfriend is Karen.
25:28That's right, Karen.
25:29You didn't meet her in Holland, did you?
25:30No, I didn't.
25:31Where's Karen from?
25:32Karen's from Shrewsbury.
25:34Yeah, and you met her where?
25:34Well, I met her in a pizza restaurant.
25:37She was a pizza waitress and she served me.
25:40Oh, really?
25:41And I actually looked her out
25:42and I just couldn't stop her talking
25:43until we got back to her place.
25:45Then I let my lips and her lips do the talking.
25:47Well, we're going to have a Laura-Laura-Fontana.
25:55No, I've never heard anything like it.
25:56You met her at...
25:57So you couldn't stop her talking
25:58as she worked in and should have stuck a pizza in.
26:00That would have done it.
26:01Has she stopped talking now?
26:02No.
26:03Any children?
26:04No.
26:04Ah, well, try the pizza.
26:07All right, give a nice round of applause
26:09from Mick and Jenny.
26:11There you go.
26:11And now, we're ready for our third game tonight.
26:19Please welcome everybody's favourite comedian,
26:22Norman Collier.
26:24Woo-hoo!
26:29That was so friendly.
26:31A friendly place.
26:32Norman, come on, Norman.
26:33What game have you got for us tonight?
26:34Well, I thought...
26:35It's getting a bit near Christmas.
26:36Yeah?
26:36I thought, give him the old chicken bit.
26:37The chicken routine.
26:38That's fantastic, isn't it?
26:39The chicken!
26:40Do you still do the chicken in the act, do you?
26:45Well, that's for us.
26:46I've got to keep doing it, you see?
26:47Yeah?
26:48I've got to do it, I need the eggs.
26:50Ladies and gentlemen, we'll leave you here.
26:52Now, pay attention to what Norman's going to do.
26:54Norman Collier and his world-famous chicken routine.
26:56Okay, egg me on, egg me on.
26:57Come on, egg me on.
26:59All right, here you go, Ben.
27:20Oh!
27:20There must be other jobs.
27:35You can have mine.
27:36Yeah, I will.
27:38Oh, oh, hello.
27:40Oh, oh, oh.
27:41He's been to Margate and had a curry.
27:43Mayday, mayday.
27:55I can't leave, I can't leave, I can't leave, I'm a cock bird.
27:57Oh, dear.
28:00That's brilliant, brilliant, all of you.
28:07Fantastic, mate.
28:08That's all you have to do.
28:12It's as simple as that.
28:13Go on, off you go and get yourself ready.
28:15Go and get all chickened up.
28:16Norman, you're going to do some marking for us.
28:17Here's a microphone for the marking.
28:19Now, what have I got to do, actually?
28:20Have I got to mark on the card?
28:22I don't know.
28:24You've got to do what?
28:24I'm not.
28:25I don't know.
28:25You've done what?
28:27Charlie, our mum, can you get this microphone, thanks, babe?
28:30Can you just tie this on here?
28:33I'm making him look oopie.
28:37I don't need it.
28:37Don't need it.
28:38But without it, a microphone, then.
28:42You know something?
28:43What?
28:44In the old days, Al Jolson never used a microphone.
28:47Al Jolson never used a microphone?
28:49No.
28:49No.
28:50He used to go on the stage and sing away and they only shouted, Al, because I knew him.
28:54Yes.
28:54Why do they shout?
28:55Al, come here, you've got a microphone.
28:58Norman, well, since it's coming up to Christmas, we thought we'd give you this.
29:02Oh.
29:05So off you go and have fun and get them to do some marking.
29:07Oh.
29:08Oh.
29:08Oh.
29:11Okay, here we go.
29:13First time, on you come, on you come.
29:15Oh, you're going to love me for this, aren't you?
29:16You're going to hit me later, but it's all good fun.
29:18We're all here to have a laugh.
29:19Right, you've got to be a chicken, right, like Norman.
29:22And when you hear this sound, right, you've got to go up there and lay an egg.
29:26Well, you don't lay an egg.
29:27You've got to give a plenty old cock-a-doodle-doo, right?
29:29Be a chicken.
29:30The better you are, right, if you're real bad, we make it last longer.
29:34All right?
29:35Time to be a chicken.
29:36I'm getting out of the way.
29:36He's a big lad.
29:37Time's off now.
29:37Yeah, I'm gone.
29:41Yeah!
29:45Get in the face, get in the face.
29:49Get out of it.
29:54Get out of it.
29:58Get up, quick, quick, quick, cock-a-doodle-doo.
30:00Oh, oh, oh.
30:02Oh!
30:04Get up, you guys, go.
30:06Get up, get up, get up, quick.
30:07All right, all right, here we go.
30:10Here's a 20 seconds of beating the chicken started out.
30:13Chicken, quick.
30:15Oh, my.
30:16Get the jacket, get the jacket off the wings.
30:18It's supposed to be wings, wings.
30:19Go on, that's it.
30:28You see where the sun gets it now, can't you?
30:35Quick, get up here, quick.
30:36She's on Duracell batteries.
30:39Oh, my God, look at the look.
30:45Get off!
30:47There you go.
30:48Oh, dear.
30:51Come on.
30:53Right now, Janet, come on.
30:54You said you could do this when you wrote 80.
30:56You've got 20 seconds.
30:57Check it started out.
30:58Where you go?
31:00Oh, dear.
31:00Let's doodle more cock.
31:19That's it.
31:21There you go.
31:23Excellent stuff.
31:27Come on, Mick, your last one.
31:28Oh, you did a big entrance.
31:29You started already.
31:30Get off.
31:44You're not supposed to get up there.
31:47Wait for the noise.
31:48He's got some neck, isn't he, old man?
31:51Go on, Mick.
31:52Up you go, Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick, Mick.
31:53Early morning chorus.
31:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:56Come on, come on, Mick.
32:02Have you ever seen anything like this show in all your life?
32:11Norman, you've got something to answer for here.
32:12Come and do some marking, please.
32:14Norman Collier, ladies and gentlemen.
32:15Come on, Mick.
32:16Come on, Mick.
32:16Come on, Mick.
32:17Oh, dear.
32:23I'll tell you what, come on, cover her with me.
32:25It was funnier than me, that one.
32:26Oh, wow.
32:27There we are.
32:28Let's have Kern and Pepe first, that first couple.
32:30Well, I thought Kern was like, well, it was Michael Jackson,
32:32chicky, wasn't it?
32:33He'd like to shuffle everything and then he'd picture it to death.
32:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:37Well, I've given Kern nine points.
32:39Nine points.
32:40Nine points.
32:41Well, that's a little lady.
32:44And I've done Pepe here.
32:45I thought Pepe was very funny as well.
32:46Lots of aggression here.
32:48Yeah, yeah.
32:49That was flying off.
32:49Yeah, fighting cop.
32:50Fighting cop.
32:51Fighting cop.
32:52So I'll give Pepe eight.
32:54Eight.
32:54Yeah, nine and eight.
32:56All right.
32:56Very good.
32:57How are we doing with these two?
33:00Give them as many marks as we can, you know.
33:02We don't like to be nasty.
33:04Well, Janet, I thought Janet was a very, very conservative type of chicken.
33:08Yes, yes, lay in a blue egg.
33:09Yes, a blue egg.
33:10And I thought a bit battery, a bit battery.
33:13A bit battery.
33:13A bit lights in the eye.
33:14A bit Pifco, yeah.
33:15They're like Iceland, battery.
33:16So I'm going to give Janet seven.
33:17Seven, yes.
33:18Seven, nice.
33:20Okay.
33:21And Mick.
33:22Mick.
33:23Well, a name for a chicken, Mick, innit?
33:24Yes.
33:24Yeah.
33:25Mick the chick.
33:25Mick the chick.
33:26Yeah.
33:26All right.
33:27Well, Mick did very well.
33:28Very funny as well.
33:29A bit more aggressive you could have done with.
33:30Yeah.
33:30A bit more feathers, a bit more pecking, a bit more.
33:33And so he'd make a good roll, that one, Red.
33:37Right.
33:38I'll give Mick eight.
33:40Eight.
33:40All right, that's great.
33:42And thank you very much.
33:43Morning, buddy.
33:44Morning, buddy.
33:44Morning, buddy.
33:44Thank you, Norm.
33:46I'll be back.
33:49Merry Christmas, Norm.
33:51Paxo.
33:53Here we go.
33:54Scrum down, then.
33:55And all together this time, what's on the board?
33:58Miss Paul.
34:00Well, Kern and Peppy have 17.
34:03Janet and Mick have 15.
34:06Right, yes.
34:07Okay, well, over here, go over there.
34:09Take this jacket, sir.
34:10These lovely loaves of bread, right, all over here.
34:13Now, these, all different types of bread.
34:15There's a Goliath and a Sunshine loaf.
34:17And of course, right, the original brown sourdough.
34:21Now, you're probably wondering why I'm telling you all this,
34:23because I want you to meet, from the Innis Speciality Breads,
34:26Steve Evans.
34:33Wow.
34:33Now, did I get all that right, the Goliaths and that and whatever?
34:39You did, yeah.
34:39There's a few others there, but the sourdough is what we're going to demonstrate today.
34:43What actually is sourdough?
34:45It's a naturally fermented bread.
34:47It's a healthy bread.
34:49No yeast.
34:49It's just organic flour, salt and water, and that's it.
34:52And it's baked in a wood-fired oven, the way they used to do it 200 years ago.
34:55The real proper stuff.
34:56Come on, then.
34:57Come and show us what to do.
34:58Do you want to come over here, you?
34:59I'll bring your gang over, Rosie.
35:00Oh, look, a nice big dollop.
35:05You're looking forward to this, isn't you?
35:07Everybody ready?
35:08Eyes down.
35:08All we're going to do, then, is just scale off a couple of 1,600-gram pieces.
35:141,600-grams.
35:15How much is that in English?
35:16About four pounds.
35:17Four pounds, right.
35:17Cut the bags of sugar.
35:21You should have a little bit over, so we'll just put that underneath out of the way.
35:25Right.
35:27And then you just knead them into shape.
35:30The table's moving.
35:32Look, hang on.
35:32Hang on a minute.
35:37Oh, dear.
35:38Look at this.
35:40Right, but I must buy that Dolly Parton album.
35:44Couldn't resist it, mate.
35:45There you go.
35:47And at this stage, we would rest them in this basket for about two hours before they go
35:50in the oven, but obviously for the show.
35:52Just rest them there.
35:52Here's one we prepared.
35:53You rest them for what that do?
35:55Make some what?
35:55It just lets them rise, ready to be baked.
35:59Great, you're an asthmatic.
36:01And just before they go in the oven, we would just cut them like this.
36:08And that's it.
36:10Remember, look at that.
36:11Well, that's all we have to do.
36:14It looks simple.
36:15Don't forget we're going to get you to do in the two at once.
36:17Will you come back and do some marking for us, Steve?
36:19Certainly.
36:19All right, mate.
36:20Oh, John.
36:22Okay, then over to your tables and your trestles.
36:25Get ready.
36:26Don't start till I tell you.
36:28Right, you've got about a minute and a half to make your loaves of bread up.
36:31Don't forget you've got to knead them both together.
36:33No cheating one at a time, right?
36:34Otherwise, it's off to see John Virgo.
36:38Okay?
36:38Your time starts now.
36:40Good luck.
36:44That's it.
36:44Two lots.
36:46About four pounds.
36:48That's it.
36:50That'd do.
36:55Looks like a mad surgeon, doesn't it?
36:57Good, yeah.
37:02Let's have a look up here.
37:04How you doing?
37:09All right, one minute left.
37:15Don't worry about it.
37:16Don't forget your part.
37:16You've got to knead them.
37:17You better start kneading.
37:19No, don't grab them.
37:20Don't really knead them.
37:23You should know about kneading people.
37:24You're a rugby player.
37:25A little bit of good kneading here.
37:27Right.
37:29That's good.
37:30Right, get them about the same size.
37:31Then you've got to slice them about a bit.
37:34That's a good dolly part.
37:35They are better, yeah.
37:36Right, that's not bad.
37:37Ooh.
37:38About 30 seconds.
37:39Right, you're kneaded.
37:40Right, slap them down and start slicing up.
37:43Right, bit of flour.
37:44Oh, that's good.
37:45Yeah, bit of flour.
37:46Slap them down.
37:47Move your baskets out of the way so we can see what mess is.
37:49The last 10 seconds.
37:49So get them out of the baskets.
37:50Get the baskets out.
37:51Quick.
37:52Come on.
37:52Slicing.
37:53Watch your fingers.
37:54Watch your fingers.
37:55Don't do this at home.
38:00Don't do nothing.
38:01Steve will have come back and do some marking for us.
38:08Here's what it's supposed to look like.
38:09So let's go over here.
38:10Have a look at Herbert.
38:11Oh, dear.
38:12Oh, dear.
38:12Have a look.
38:13I've walked through a cow field like this.
38:15That's what it's supposed to be.
38:17And here we go.
38:17What do you think, then?
38:18Bad, is it?
38:18Ain't bad.
38:19No, it's not bad.
38:20Karen got a little bit stuck with it on the table.
38:23Yeah.
38:23And it's gone a bit soft and out of shape, as you can see.
38:26Yeah.
38:27All right, that one's better.
38:28We've made three.
38:30Nevertheless, I mean, he handled it quite well.
38:32So I'll give him Karen six.
38:33Six?
38:34That's good.
38:34All right.
38:35Happy with that.
38:35Yeah, I'm happy with that.
38:36What do you think, then?
38:41Pepe did quite well with it.
38:43She sort of handled it and went through all the stages properly.
38:45Handled it quite well.
38:46The cuts are reasonably...
38:47She handles it well.
38:49It's gone a little bit flatter, but I'll give him Pepe seven.
38:52Seven.
38:53That's good.
38:53Pepe got a seven.
38:57Now, then.
38:58I think Janet's done it before.
39:00Janet, have you done this before, Janet?
39:02Hmm.
39:02Once in a while.
39:03How's the job?
39:05For that curry.
39:06Watch Janet, you know, as she was doing it.
39:08She's definitely kneaded dough before because the...
39:10You know, she was doing it properly.
39:12Really?
39:13So I've given Janet eight for...
39:14Eight, Janet.
39:16Pleasure all.
39:16Well done.
39:18You know what, you've done it now and they've been getting a cooking on the time.
39:21Everyone be popping around your house, getting...
39:22Oh, dear, oh, dear.
39:23Saying no more, Mick, you can ruin it.
39:25Have a look at that.
39:27It looks like Bodmin Moor from here.
39:29Oh, no proper job.
39:31What do you think?
39:31Yeah, well, Mick went through all the proper processes, all the...
39:35You know, he followed the...
39:36He followed the sort of everything, the way I did it.
39:39The kneading went a little bit, um...
39:40A little bit sort of soft, but I've given Mick six.
39:43Six.
39:44Well, that's very good.
39:45Very good.
39:46There we are.
39:47Put it up there.
39:47Thanks very much, Steve, for coming along.
39:49See you a bit later on.
39:50Give Steve a nice round of applause.
39:52That's all you want.
40:00Here we go, then, Rosie.
40:02What have you got on the old...
40:04Let's have a look at the old floorboard.
40:06Kern and Peppy have 30.
40:08Janet and Mick have 29.
40:11Oh, one for a minute.
40:13One for a minute.
40:14Well, well done.
40:15Never mind, Janet.
40:18And Mick, smash it.
40:19Have you enjoyed yourself?
40:20Well, you won't be going away empty-handed.
40:22You've got your big break snooker cue and your thing.
40:24You've got the speed vault that you would have won.
40:26You've got your blankety-blank checkbook and pen.
40:28And you've got your generation game telephone each.
40:31Okay?
40:31Thank you so much.
40:32Smash it.
40:32Off you go over there.
40:33Give them a round of applause.
40:34And you're through at the final.
40:36Let's remind ourselves you guys who's playing in the grand final.
40:42Okay?
40:43Great.
40:43It's fine.
40:43Good, isn't it?
40:44And have we got a grand final for you?
40:46Right?
40:46This will require...
40:47Right, you'll love this.
40:48This will require poise, style, and a talent for showing off.
40:51Right?
40:52Because you lot are going to be a supermodel.
40:56Right?
40:56And when you're on the catwalk, right, you don't just sell the clothes.
40:59You sell yourself.
41:01Okay?
41:01Cool?
41:02Heads.
41:03Yeah, it is a head.
41:04So you want to go first or second?
41:05Second, please.
41:06Oh, I knew you'd say that.
41:07I planned that you were going to go first.
41:09Okay, you're going to go second.
41:10Pepe and Kern, you go through and get yourself ready.
41:14Can't wait for this.
41:15Now then, Amanda and Stan, you've got to go off to a darkened room in a blindfold so
41:19you can't peek.
41:19And any peeking, then you've got to sit in front of a television watching John Virgo's
41:23Greatest Hits.
41:25I wouldn't watch that on anyone.
41:26So off you go, down to the old darkened room.
41:28Go on, Stan.
41:28Down you go.
41:29That way.
41:32Right, we're ready now for the world of fashion.
41:34Take one.
41:37Oh, and she's lovely.
41:40And the dog's not bad as well.
41:41Out you come.
41:43Pepe?
41:44Come on, out you come.
41:45Let's see you.
41:46Come on.
41:46Come out, you coward.
41:48Oh, yes.
41:48Now, where's the dog?
41:49Get your dog.
41:50Number, get your dog.
41:54Right, down you come.
41:55Yes, jogging.
41:56Give us the dog.
41:57I'll take the dog.
41:59Give us your dog.
42:01Sit.
42:02Now I said sit.
42:04There he goes.
42:05Right.
42:05Do you have a jog?
42:06Oh, foam.
42:08There we go.
42:08There's Saru.
42:09Yeah, see you down at Annabelle's.
42:10Answer.
42:11You've got to take it out the thing.
42:12Take it out the thing.
42:14Give us it.
42:14Give us it.
42:14Give us it.
42:14Oh, good.
42:16Summit's rumbling.
42:18I think she's got a fax coming.
42:22Right.
42:22Okay.
42:23Right, now jog off.
42:24Jog off.
42:25Good, isn't it?
42:26Yes.
42:26Very good.
42:27Very good.
42:27Very good.
42:28Now.
42:31It's the bloke's leisure wear.
42:33Now, gentlemen's leisure wear.
42:34It's Matthew.
42:35Oh, yes.
42:36Look at this, girls.
42:37It's Matthew to go and dangle his worm in the water.
42:41The day is fishing.
42:42Now, on you come, Kern.
42:46That's not bad, that, is it, eh?
42:49Now, watch Matthew's walk.
42:50You've got to watch the walk.
42:51He's going to come down.
42:52Spot one on the surface.
42:54Cast out his maggot.
42:57Oh.
42:59Along with my eye.
43:00There you go.
43:01Right, down you come.
43:02Go on, Kern.
43:05Oh, yes.
43:06Yeah, see a fish.
43:08That's his fish.
43:08It's his fish.
43:09Hang on.
43:10Your fish is over there, mate.
43:12Your fish is over there.
43:13Right, hang on.
43:14You ain't caught one.
43:14Hang on.
43:15Oh, he's out again.
43:17Right, Matthew's got a whopper.
43:19That's just a rumour.
43:21There we go.
43:21What's he caught?
43:22Yeah.
43:23Right, well, you've got one.
43:24You've got one.
43:24Reel it in.
43:25Reel it in.
43:25Go on.
43:26Go on.
43:26Reel it in.
43:27Pull it in.
43:28Quick.
43:28Ugh.
43:29What have you got?
43:30It's a tin of pilchards.
43:32All right, that's done.
43:33Put the gear away.
43:35Off you go.
43:37Nice little look over the shoulder, Kern.
43:39Sexy look.
43:42He does that a bit well, doesn't he?
43:43It's the big day of the wedding.
43:47The big wedding.
43:49I hate this bit.
43:49I wonder why.
43:51And here's Saru, the radiant bride.
43:54Oh, I'll name that tune in one.
44:01Four, actually.
44:02Right.
44:03Right, Pepe.
44:04Come out, Pep.
44:06Oh, she looks beautiful, don't she?
44:09Come on then, Saru.
44:10Down you come.
44:13Right, now, watch what Saru does.
44:15Look, little look.
44:16Little sexy look.
44:17Not at the vicar.
44:18Not at the vicar.
44:20Right, now, watch this.
44:21Saru's going to lift the veil up.
44:22One-handed.
44:23Lift that veil.
44:26Now, get it up.
44:26You look like a beekeeper's hat.
44:29All right, now, you've got to stand down here and wait for the person.
44:32No, this way.
44:32You've got to wait for the person who's going to give you away, all right?
44:36Now, on they come.
44:37On come the boys.
44:40There's Matthew looking the part.
44:41Oh, doesn't he look smart?
44:44Right, Kurt, get out of here.
44:48Get out of here.
44:54Get off, get off.
44:56Get off.
44:56Get out of here.
45:00Yes, rugby player.
45:02Careful.
45:04Yes.
45:05He'd like it to be...
45:06Oh, don't.
45:07They're not his own pants.
45:08Right, come on.
45:09Here you go.
45:11Right, Matthew, walk down there to meet your partner.
45:14Right, Kurt, you've got to walk down there ready to give mum away.
45:18Look at his strides.
45:22His trousers, divorced his ankles and married his knees.
45:25All right, that's it.
45:27Now, this is the big moment, because it's good news, because the groom ain't turned up.
45:31All right, so it's all down the door, just to put the reception on her own.
45:34Now, you've got to get ready for the reception here.
45:36So, it's a bit of music.
45:37So, watch Saru.
45:37Strip off, Saru.
45:38You didn't know this bit, did you?
45:39Bit of a strip off.
45:41Right.
45:42Oh, yeah, great.
45:43Right.
45:43Saru, throw your bouquet away.
45:45Throw the bouquet.
45:46Yes.
45:46Rosemary's called it.
45:47Hello.
45:47Here we go.
45:48Off for a dance.
45:49Have a quick dance.
45:49Go and dancing.
45:51Bradley.
45:52Come on, have a dance.
45:54Everyone, clap.
45:55Come on.
45:57Woo!
46:06Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
46:09Wow.
46:11That was stupid.
46:12You've got lovely legs.
46:13Go on, go over there.
46:14Go over there.
46:15That's it.
46:15Saru and Matthew are going to get ready.
46:18I don't have to do it all meself here.
46:20Here you go.
46:24I'm not ironing it.
46:25You do it.
46:25Older fashion, take two.
46:27And here is Saru and furry friend again.
46:30Yes.
46:30Ready for a joke.
46:32Out you come, Amanda.
46:34Now, we get the dog.
46:35Here's the dog, yeah.
46:36You, that dog.
46:37Yes, very good.
46:38Down you come.
46:41Yeah, marvellous.
46:42Right, give us the dog.
46:43Give us the dog.
46:44Right, good pass.
46:45Have a bit of a jog.
46:46Sit down.
46:47Right.
46:48Good.
46:50There's the old dog.
46:51He's not a real one.
46:52It's a puppy.
46:53It's a puppy.
46:54Right.
46:55Okay.
46:56Phone call.
46:57Yeah, there's Saru on the phone.
46:58Get your phone.
47:00Get your phone.
47:00I'll get it.
47:02I'll get it.
47:02Come here.
47:03Yeah.
47:04Yes, Jim.
47:05Yeah, don't worry, Bruce.
47:06Relax.
47:06It's going well.
47:08Get the dog, man.
47:09Up you go.
47:10Terrific.
47:11I'll see that.
47:12Going backwards.
47:12I like that bit.
47:13Great, yeah.
47:14Bit of moonwalk.
47:15Right now, then.
47:16It's the big one.
47:18Gentleman's Leisure Ware.
47:19I can't wait to see this.
47:21Here's Matthew.
47:22Back for a day's fly fishing.
47:25Down there in some beautiful chalk stream.
47:28Out you come.
47:30Stanley.
47:33Stan, where's your rod?
47:35Get a rod.
47:36No, no, you've got your own rod, Stan.
47:38You should know that, being a vicar.
47:41One person, one rod.
47:43All right.
47:45Now, down you come.
47:47Now, this side.
47:48Get your own fish.
47:49Matthew's casting out.
47:51Right, Stan, you cast out over there.
47:53Watch it.
47:53You've nearly had a...
47:54Right, we want five fishes and five loaves.
47:57You know the drill.
48:00There, there.
48:01He's gone for the far bank.
48:04Right, Matthew's reading one in.
48:05What you got, Matthew?
48:06Caught one.
48:06Watch what he's caught.
48:07Watch what he's caught.
48:08There you go.
48:10Well, caught as well.
48:11That's twice now.
48:12You've got to all flash.
48:12Look at that.
48:13Right, reel it in.
48:14You've got a bite.
48:14Stan, no, you bite's over there.
48:16You fool.
48:17I know you're a vicar, but you can't do miracles.
48:18Oh, what do you mean?
48:21Fell in.
48:22Right, what have you got?
48:23Will it in?
48:24Yes.
48:25Where is it?
48:26Where is it?
48:26Oh, is there something in it?
48:27No, no, fly fishing.
48:29Just a little joke.
48:29I'll put it in yourself.
48:31Right, there we are then.
48:32Right, walk around.
48:32You're going to put the tackle back in the car.
48:34Quick nod to all the ladies.
48:37I see.
48:37Off you go, Stan.
48:38Very good.
48:40He does look like one of them Fisherman Friends advert.
48:43Stan, you should know about this one.
48:45It's the wedding day.
48:46Day of the big wedding.
48:48Here is Saru, the radiant bride.
48:50On you come, Saru.
48:52And she look lovely, eh?
48:53All in white, the little liar.
48:55Well, here comes Amanda.
49:00Oh, you look nice as well.
49:01Oh, dear.
49:02Right, do the walk now.
49:03It's a nice walk.
49:04Remember, you're in church.
49:09Hang on.
49:10Quick about turn.
49:11That's it.
49:12There we go.
49:13Now, this is the sexy bit.
49:15You've got to lift the veil up.
49:18There.
49:18Now, nice, sexy smile.
49:23All right, now, come down here and wait for the person.
49:25Now, this is your dad.
49:26He's going to be giving you away to his mate who's a vicar as well.
49:28Let's see the boys.
49:30Oh, Matthew, you look a million dollars, mate.
49:33Stan, do you look a million dollars?
49:35Out you come.
49:38Stan, don't be late.
49:40Not the vicar's life.
49:44Stan.
49:44The church has got the best three doors open, Stan.
49:51Stan.
49:52Trousies, mate.
49:57Down you come, Stan.
49:58Down you come.
50:01A great walk, isn't it?
50:03Right, join dad there who's going to give you away.
50:05Up you go.
50:06Well, it's the same drill.
50:07Let her go up there.
50:07Up you go.
50:08Right, so the bride ain't turned.
50:09The bridegroom ain't turned up.
50:10So it's all down to the disco.
50:12So watch the room as she whips the dress off.
50:13Watch this.
50:14One-handed.
50:15Very sexy.
50:16She's done that before.
50:17She's ruined, you know.
50:17Right.
50:19And you rip your dress off.
50:20Rip your dress off.
50:21That's it.
50:22Throw it passionately to the floor.
50:23And get rid of the bouquet.
50:25Give us the bouquet.
50:26Now, don't give it to me.
50:27Oh, no.
50:31Hello, look.
50:31Quick job.
50:32Give it in.
50:35Give it in.
50:35Oh, yeah.
50:38Come on, Nick.
50:40Come down here.
50:41Come down here.
50:42Very good.
50:44Very good.
50:45Very good.
50:45Stan, you're very funny.
50:47Right, now, let's have our other couple of guys.
50:50Let's bring them in.
50:50Give it a nice round of applause.
50:54Peppy and Kern.
50:57Yeah, when it comes to marking this, no one could be better qualified than our two models
51:00who helped us out early on.
51:01Their names are Matthew Thompson and Saru.
51:04There they go.
51:08Right, there they go.
51:11Naomi.
51:13You go to sleep in a grow bag.
51:15Aren't you tall?
51:16Aren't they lovely?
51:17Right, now then.
51:18Now then.
51:18What are they looking like for fashion models?
51:20So, it's team one.
51:21Now, let's hear from what Peppy, our Peppy got on from you, Saru.
51:23What do you think?
51:24Well, we thought Peppy was good jogging and very regal.
51:27Very what?
51:28Regal.
51:29Regal?
51:29Very regal.
51:29Oh, regal.
51:31She's a skull.
51:31She can't be regal.
51:32Good, a skull.
51:34Right, and Matthew, what about Kern there?
51:37Well, Kern had some really strong looks to camera and he was a lot of fun, so I thought
51:40he did very well.
51:41That's good.
51:42That is good.
51:42We'll come back to the marks in a minute.
51:43Now, let's have a look at team two over here.
51:45Amanda.
51:46Amanda really threw herself into it and very good dancing.
51:50Yeah, well, you're supposed to throw yourself into it on your wedding night, aren't you?
51:53There we are.
51:54Well, now, Stan.
51:55Matthew, what about Stan?
51:56Eccentric performance, I thought, but what do you think?
51:58Well, that's exactly what I was going to say.
51:59I thought Stan was a little bit eccentric for the catwalk, but a lot of fun.
52:03A lot of fun, but a bit eccentric for the catwalk.
52:06And the dog wasn't a real one.
52:07It's a puppy.
52:09All right, now, let's have the marks in.
52:10Now, who's going to give the marks to our team over here?
52:13What marks do we think?
52:14Well, we thought they did exceptionally well, as we've both said, and we thought we'd give them
52:1718 points.
52:1818 points.
52:19And for team two, Amanda and Stan?
52:21We gave them 17 points.
52:2317 points.
52:24Well, that's our winners, our chairman and Petty.
52:26Thank you very much, Matthew.
52:28And thank you, Serene.
52:29Off you go.
52:29Thank you very much.
52:30Give a nice round of applause.
52:32Oh, Stan.
52:34Well, never mind, Stan.
52:35Dexter, we're in a great sport.
52:37I must come round your church, Madame Darling.
52:39You were wonderful.
52:40You're not leaving empty-handed.
52:41You've given us a lot of laughs, and we're going to give you a blackety-black checkbook and
52:44pen.
52:45Big break, snooker-cube.
52:46Let's go and see the speedboat.
52:47You can have a couple of tickets to my show, Cinderella Up in Blackpool, this Christmas,
52:51if you promise not to tell the congregation.
52:53And you've also got your Generation Game phone and a portable little colour telly.
52:56Have you enjoyed yourself?
52:57Thank you, Jim.
52:58Yes, I have.
52:58That is fantastic.
52:59That's fantastic.
52:59Well, off you go over there with Rosemary and our winner for the grand final.
53:03You know it is real.
53:05You know it is real.
53:12Right, open the doors, please.
53:14Now then, there's lots of articles that have passed before your eyes.
53:17Look out for the tricky ones, right, because they're more valuable than they look.
53:20Good luck with this part of your show.
53:21Your 40 seconds starts now, right, a case of champagne, a framed pitcher, three mugs, a super
53:32soaker, a stylish blouse, a coffee grinder, a loaf of bread, a deep fat fryer, two velvet
53:42cushions, a wash bag and slippers, Pictionary, a fashion magazine, an electric typewriter,
53:50a cuddly toy, ice cream maker, three goose boxes, whatever a goose is, a fill, a coffee
53:59maker, six wine goblets, two casserole dishes, a hairdryer, oh, right, now keep thinking, keep
54:07thinking, don't listen to anyone, especially me, because I don't know what I'm talking about.
54:10Right, get yourselves round here a bit rapid, there they are, right, keep thinking, have
54:14a sit down, which seat do you want, no fighting, keep thinking, all right, right, little quiet
54:18moment, now you're going to get 40 seconds, 20 seconds for you, right, and when you hear
54:22the funny old noise, it's 20 seconds for you, everything you remember, you can take home
54:25here, good luck, 40 seconds starting now.
54:29Lope of bread, picture frame, glasses, um, coffee maker, yeah, um, what do you have with
54:35coffee in the morning, what, um, cuddly toy, picture frame, picture frame, yeah, um, yeah,
54:42what do you have with your coffee in the morning, a bit of toast, bread, bread, bread, cut the
54:47bread, right, right, what else we got, goose box, cuddly toy, cuddly toy, send a cuddly toy,
54:53what do you read when you're watching a cuddly toy, a fashion what, a magazine, yeah, Bruce's
54:57electric type razor, electric type razor, do you like ice cream, yeah, ice cream maker,
55:01glasses, goblets, champagne, goblets, what else, didn't they do well, excellent luck, come
55:22well there, you did do well, actually, Bruce will be proud of you, that's absolutely wonderful,
55:27And I'm glad you've actually got the loaf of bread.
55:29You have won this, which is the very latest all-singing, all-dancing bread maker.
55:33And when you mention Fashion Magazine, it is...
55:37It is. A fashionable holiday for four to Milan.
55:40Oh, yeah.
55:42Right.
55:44That's it.
55:45That's a good holiday, because Spain is very nice this time of year.
55:49Italy.
55:50Italy.
55:50Well, you've corrected me to the end.
55:52What would I have done without her, ladies and gentlemen?
55:54In fact, well done, and thanks for everyone's help.
55:57Thank you, crew.
55:57Thank you, guys.
55:58Get well soon, Brucey.
55:59He'll be back next week.
56:01Watch the governor.
56:02Tune in.
56:03To the generation, ladies.
56:04See you soon.
56:05Bye-bye.
56:06Bye-bye.
56:32And I want to be the famous you
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