Today's contestants are Sandra Weston & Tony Bennett from Avon, Bob Sunderland & Lorraine Carter from the West Midlands, Ron & Kim Hughes from Lancashire, and Patricia Brown & Rhys Crotch (yes, really!) from Bedford & Cambridgeshire. Bruce Forsyth makes the most of Rhys' most unusual surname, as he does Rosemary Ford's attire - or her pyjames, as he puts it. Among the games are "Return of the Big Foot Piano" (rather like that keyboard Tom Hanks dances on in Big, and judged by Humphrey Littleton), "It's a Mug's Game" (engraving on cups), Car Commercial (present a car ad, basically, and more entertaining than you'd think) and "Baby Pics" (guess the celeb, which ain't easy!). The final two pairs then play off in a Grand Finale of Magic Tricks, with the ever entertaining Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee, who gets to speak more than she usually does here in a final where the tricks go chaotically wrong. Enjoy.
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FunTranscript
00:00Life is the name of the game
00:04And I want to play the game with you
00:08Life can be terribly pain
00:11If you don't play the game with two
00:15And I want to play the game with you
00:19Two, two, thank you
00:30Thank you very much, very welcome
00:33Thank you
00:35Thank you, good evening
00:37Good evening ladies, gentlemen and children
00:39Welcome to The Generation Game
00:40Nice to see you, to see you
00:42Nice!
00:43Now, I've had a problem
00:45A couple of weeks ago
00:47A certain Sunday newspaper printed a scathing attack
00:50on my 50 years in show business, Barty, at the Dorchester
00:53The journalist even insulted my friends, saying they were unfunny
00:57Can you imagine Sir Harry Seacombe, Roy Castle, Peter Alice, Ronnie Corbett and Jimmy Tart
01:02being unfunny?
01:04I then wrote, that's not funny
01:06I then challenged him to a phone-in poll to let his readers decide
01:10This they agreed to do
01:12And I lost by 1,300 votes
01:15That's not funny either
01:17However, I had quite a few letters from people saying
01:20whatever number they dialed, it was a vote for him
01:24So I asked them to explain
01:26They replied this time and said there'd been a technical hitch
01:29but I still lost by 400
01:32You can make whatever you like out of this
01:34But on Sunday, if you get this certain newspaper
01:37look at the top left-hand corner and you'll see the date
01:40Then get a calendar and see if they got that right
01:44Now that is funny
01:46As for me, I'd like to reply in song and from the heart
01:51People
01:54I don't read the people
01:58What a good joke
01:59There we are
02:01Thank you very much
02:02Do you know, do you know
02:04I felt like Esther Ransom when I was doing that
02:08What do you mean I look like her?
02:10Thank you very much
02:11Here's one of my favourite people
02:13the gorgeous, the ever-lovely Rosemary Ford
02:16Here we are
02:25What a lovely pyjamas
02:29Aren't they? They really are nice
02:31Thank you very much
02:32I can't wait to see the bedspread
02:36Now then, oh by the way, I'm sorry to keep on about this
02:38but did you phone in?
02:40I did, of course I did
02:41I'm so glad you did
02:42I hope you didn't feel obligated
02:44No, of course not, Bruce
02:45I vote every morning
02:47Yes, well, every morning?
02:49Yes, on Good Morning Television
02:51I'm trying to win that holiday
02:54You'll get the holiday soon if you expect it in a minute
02:56Introduce the contestants
02:57Okay, then I will
02:58Now that I said that, about the pyjamas
03:01Our first team's from Avon
03:02their mother-in-law and son-in-law
03:04Sandra Weston and Tony Bennett
03:11How are you?
03:16A big, big welcome
03:17Now, you are Sandra?
03:18Sandra
03:19Yes, Sandra
03:20Weston
03:21Oh, another Weston on television
03:24You're not a repeat, now are you?
03:26No, no
03:27Oh, good, good
03:28Now, what do you do?
03:29I'm a sales office manager
03:30Oh, I see
03:31And you're married to Barry for 29 years
03:33I am
03:34A long time
03:35What does he do?
03:36He's a police officer
03:37Oh, a police officer
03:38Yes
03:39So, you're really stuck with the bill
03:40I am
03:41Now, do you irritate him at all?
03:43Yes, I do
03:44Oh, yeah, yeah
03:45Good, good, good
03:46Yes
03:47Oh, you do?
03:48Yeah, good
03:49You do?
03:50When I talk
03:51Yeah, but you do irritate him
03:52Yeah, I do, yeah
03:53I do
03:54I do
03:55I irritate him by, I talk with my hand
03:58Oh, I see, but you're doing it now, aren't you?
04:00Yeah
04:01No, go on, go on
04:02No, if I can't
04:03No, if I can't remember what I'm trying to say
04:05I sort of, with my hand
04:06Yeah, I can see what you're doing
04:08Yes
04:09And it irritates him
04:10Yeah, it's irritating me
04:12Well, Barry, you know what you want to do
04:14You're a policeman, put the handcuffs on
04:17Oh, anyway, you're lovely, you're a lovely character
04:19I could talk to you all night
04:20Yeah
04:21It would drive me mad
04:23Now, over now to your son-in-law, Tony
04:26Bennett
04:27Tony?
04:28Bennett
04:29Oh, right, I'm Bruce Willis
04:32What do you do at all?
04:34I'm in the ceramic toiling business
04:36Does that drive you up the wall?
04:38It might do, sometimes
04:39Just a little bit, sometimes
04:40Right, good
04:41You're married to Denise
04:42Yes
04:43It's a nice name
04:44Any tricks played on your honeymoon at all?
04:46Only when we were going off on our honeymoon
04:48we had to pull over to remove two clippers
04:50frying on the engine
04:51Oh, no, two of them on the engine?
04:53Oh, that must have been awful
04:54Was it?
04:55Good job they didn't stick a potato up your exhaust
04:57You could have had fish and chips
05:00Any achievements at all?
05:01Yes, I once completed a 35 mile run across Dartmoor
05:05Across Dartmoor?
05:06Yes
05:07Oh, I'll make a note of that
05:09Ex-con
05:16Anyway, thank you for being here
05:17We'll hop over there
05:18We'll see who you're going to play against
05:20Now, I've proven it, haven't I?
05:21I've done jolly good, haven't I?
05:22Do they do those in other colours?
05:27Right, our second team's from the West Midlands
05:29Their uncle and niece, Bob Sunderland and Lorraine Carter
05:36Hello, how are you?
05:39Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show
05:42Now, you are Lorraine Carter
05:44What do you do?
05:45I'm a travel agent, Bruce
05:46Oh, travel agent, yes
05:47Any boyfriend, Lorraine?
05:49Yes, Shane
05:50Oh, Shane, yes
05:51And you're a travel agent?
05:52Yes
05:53Do you fly to Spain, Lorraine?
05:54Yes
05:55Yes
05:56With Shane?
05:57Yes
05:58So when Shane and Lorraine go to Spain
06:00it's mainly on the plane
06:03Any pets at all?
06:04Yes, I've got a Staffordshire Bull Terrier called Blake
06:06and he wears his glasses when he watches the telly
06:09No, does he really?
06:10He does, yeah
06:11You put glasses on him?
06:12Oh, he sounds lovely
06:13He's watching now, probably
06:14Blake, good boy
06:15Come on, come and see Brutey
06:17Put your leg down, you filthy mongrel
06:20But he sounds a character
06:21I love that, the glasses on that
06:23Now, any ambitions at all?
06:25Yes, I've got one
06:26I'd like to be able to keep my leg as high as Rosemary
06:29Oh, really?
06:30Come here, Rosemary
06:31Come here, heel, heel
06:33You see, she obeys me better than your dog
06:36Okay, now, lie down and let me tickle your tummy
06:39Sorry, I mean, do a couple of high kicks
06:42Yeah, yeah, a couple of high kicks
07:00One, two, three, four
07:03Very good
07:06That was marvellous, very good
07:08Okay, good
07:10Very good
07:12Rosie, you're fired
07:15Over now to your Uncle Bob
07:17What do you do, Uncle Bob?
07:18I'm a Service Reception Engineer, Bruce
07:19Oh, I see, and you're married to Susan
07:21How did you meet?
07:22We met originally at a disco
07:23But a couple of years later, I started working at a garage
07:26across the road from where Sue worked
07:28at the bank
07:29Oh, she worked at a bank?
07:30Yeah, I went in the bank to open an account
07:32and she was there and eventually she agreed to a date
07:34Oh, after you opened the bank account
07:36I'll make a note of that
07:38Gold digger
07:41Right, let's hold her
07:42Now, tell us about the honeymoon, Bob
07:44Well, we went to Paris for our honeymoon
07:46and of course we wanted to see all the sights
07:48so we did a lot of walking
07:49but we both only got brand new shoes with us
07:51so we hobbled around most of the time with sore feet
07:53Oh, well, I've never heard of anybody coming back
07:55from a Paris honeymoon with sore feet
07:58Thank you
08:02You used to have three apple trees in your garden
08:04What's all that about?
08:05Well, it was our neighbour, an 80 year old
08:08in our garden, scrumpting the apples
08:10filling her apron
08:11No!
08:12There was a little gate in the fence
08:13What a source!
08:14Well, who was it? Granny Smith?
08:20Alright, we're all ready for a game for you
08:22Thank you very much for being here
08:24Pop over there, I'm going to come over with you
08:26Nice people, aren't they?
08:27Lovely people
08:28Lovely people
08:31Alright
08:32Our first game
08:33I'd just like to remind you that our contestants
08:35have no idea what we have planned for them
08:37They do not rehearse
08:38This is your rehearsal
08:40Our first game is called
08:42The Return of the Bigfoot Piano
08:46Now, as I've just said
08:47this is a piano
08:49It is not Mick Jagger's mouth organ
08:52And now, at no further expense whatsoever
08:55Ladies and gentlemen
08:56Ford and Forsyth
09:04Now, the difference this year is that
09:07we can play on the black notes this time as well
09:10which we couldn't do before
09:12and we can both play different things at the same time
09:15So that's what it's all about
09:16Here we go, good luck Diane
09:18One, two, three
09:20One, two, three, four
09:51Yeah!
09:55Thank you!
09:56Thank you!
10:03Yeah!
10:08Ah, good, good, good
10:09I was haven't I?
10:10Didn't you want a bit?
10:11Isn't it good?
10:12Ah, good
10:13Good, good, good
10:16And now, at no further expense
10:18Don't fight!
10:20Shut up!
10:22Sorry about that, my darling. He's been doing that all day.
10:25Well, there you are. That's all there is to it.
10:29Now, who is musically best out of the two of you?
10:31You? So you'll do the top of the melody.
10:33OK, then, fine.
10:34Take the other two round the back, Rosie,
10:36so they can't see and hear what's going on.
10:38OK, you just stand there, my darling, like that.
10:41Now, this, first of all, you can stand up with me,
10:43but, look, watch me, you see.
10:46That's your bass beat, you see.
10:485-2, is it? 5-2.
10:50You just keep doing that in the tempo.
10:521-2-3-4.
10:54Now, when we start, you...
11:00That's all right, darling. I thought we were on the river. Right.
11:03Now, then, you get 3-4-5.
11:06Space, that's a beat there. Space.
11:083-5-3-5, you see.
11:10OK, I'll count the four in, and then you'll go.
11:13All right? Go on.
11:151-2-3-4.
11:17Go on. Go on.
11:19No, not there!
11:21Not near the notes!
11:23Just a minute, just a minute.
11:25This is Perspex, that's where the numbers are.
11:30I could have trained a chimp by now.
11:33Here we go.
11:351-2-3-4.
11:371-2-3-4.
11:52Good, good, good, good.
11:54Good.
11:58Good, darling!
12:00Oh!
12:02Now...
12:04What were you playing?
12:06Oh, dear!
12:08Oh, dear!
12:15Yeah, that's right. You're going to get extra points for that.
12:18All right, darling? OK, just chain her down for a minute, will you?
12:23Of course, you'll never...
12:25Put the other two on, please.
12:27Fine, if you will. Lovely, lovely.
12:29Who's the best musically? Yes, you're going to do the...
12:31That's it, fine.
12:33Let me show you.
12:36Now, first of all, it's this, look.
12:42OK, and it's all written down there.
12:445-2...
12:46That's all you do, but keep the rhythm going.
12:48Now, darling, you start on number 3 here,
12:50and it's 3-4-5-space.
12:52That's a beat where you don't play. Are you ready?
12:54So, after 4, and I'll conduct you in.
12:561-2-3-4.
13:06Yeah.
13:08Good, good, good.
13:11Good.
13:13Very good.
13:18Very good!
13:20Very good, marvellous.
13:22What are you playing?
13:24That's it, that's it, that's it.
13:27Very good. Bring the others back.
13:29It's marvellous. It's wonderful.
13:31Absolutely wonderful.
13:33Please welcome band leader, radio presenter,
13:36and one of our greatest jazz men ever,
13:39Mr Humphrey Lyttelton.
13:41Oh, yes!
13:43APPLAUSE
13:48A long time. A long time indeed.
13:51But it's a good thing, that big trophy.
13:53It is, yeah. I'm going to get one in the band.
13:56You're going to get... We'll get a dancer.
13:58Anyway, what did you think of them?
14:00Well, Sandra and Tony.
14:02Sandra did one or two nice twiddly bits.
14:05Yes.
14:06But whether they were voluntary or not, I don't know.
14:09I'm going to give them 15.
14:11Yeah.
14:12Plus two for getting the tune right, makes 17.
14:14Two for getting the tune right. Very good.
14:16Very, very good. Lovely. Well done.
14:18APPLAUSE
14:20Now then, what about over here?
14:22Well, Lorraine was excellent.
14:25And Bob moved well.
14:28I can't say much beyond that, but he was a good mover.
14:31I'm going to give them 17, and of course they got the tune as well,
14:34so plus two, that makes 19.
14:35Oh, 19!
14:36Well done. Well done, you two.
14:38APPLAUSE
14:40Now, Humphrey, what have you got coming out that we should know about?
14:43Well, I've got a new album to start, yes.
14:45Oh, yes. Is it a CD or an album?
14:47CD. Oh, it's a CD? Yeah.
14:48Well, you've given us so much, particularly me, because I love jazz.
14:51So, Humphrey Lyttelton, thank you for being with us.
14:54Thank you. There you are.
14:56APPLAUSE
14:59Lovely.
15:01Now, what's on the board, Miss Ford?
15:04Well, Sandra and Tony have 17.
15:06Yes. Bob and Lorraine have 19.
15:08I thought so!
15:10Yes, I thought so.
15:12Now, go and sit down over there, Audra.
15:14Sit where you were sitting before.
15:16Now, ready now for game number two, which is called It's A Mugs Game.
15:20Please welcome, from Mega Mugs,
15:22Rochdale, Fred Greenhouse.
15:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:31Lovely stand right there.
15:33Now, you supply mugs engraved with any name or message on them.
15:37Now, Fred, could you give me a couple of examples
15:39of some of the strange ones people have asked you for?
15:41Sure. We have things like,
15:43SHE, WHO MUST BE OBEYED.
15:45Oh, SHE, WHO MUST BE OBEYED.
15:47WHO MUST BE OBEYED, yeah.
15:49And then there's another one, a little bit ruder,
15:51like, SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB.
15:53We have the very rude ones as well.
15:55Oh, yeah, well, tell us about those after.
15:57So, in the meantime, come over here.
15:59And, Rosie, will you bring them all over
16:01so they can see exactly what Fred's up to here?
16:04This is really lovely to see,
16:06and we hope you'll be able to see it on camera as close.
16:09All you have to do is just hold it like a pen and right away.
16:13Here we go.
16:23Isn't that lovely?
16:25Yep.
16:27Nice to see you.
16:32That's a wonderful thread.
16:34My little boy would love one of those.
16:36LAUGHTER
16:38You know, with JJ on it and...
16:40Nice to see you.
16:42..a dinosaur on the back.
16:44He loves dinosaurs.
16:46Nice to see you.
16:48Nice to see you.
16:50Nice.
16:53And finish it off with a little star at the bottom.
16:56A little star at the bottom.
16:58And underline the knife.
17:00There you go. Isn't that neat?
17:02Now, isn't that absolutely...
17:04Look, look at that.
17:06Isn't it beautiful?
17:08All right, Fred, thank you so much.
17:10Will you come back and do some marking?
17:12Jolly good. Now, get to your...
17:14Don't mind about your drills.
17:16Just put your pinnies on for now.
17:18Just put your pinnies on.
17:20Just put your glasses on.
17:22All right?
17:24We're going to ask you to write on your mug
17:26Bruce Forsythe's Generation Game.
17:28OK?
17:30That's what you write.
17:32Bruce Forsythe's Generation Game.
17:34You've got about 45 seconds to do this,
17:36starting from now.
17:40That's it.
17:42Close your eyes.
17:44You can be in the dentist's chair.
17:46LAUGHTER
17:48I hope this isn't upsetting anybody at home.
17:52Oh, yes, we're doing all right.
17:56Yeah, we're doing OK.
18:00I think you need a bigger mug.
18:02LAUGHTER
18:04Yes, you'll never get it in.
18:06You'll have to go round the back, probably.
18:08Try and get your little star on if you can.
18:10Good.
18:12That's a lovely little star.
18:14OK, count up.
18:16Be careful.
18:18Right.
18:20Now, can we welcome back Fred to do the marking?
18:22APPLAUSE
18:26If you'll just get in there
18:28and have a look.
18:30Where are we?
18:32Not got it completed, really.
18:34Half a star there.
18:36With a bit of effort, we'll award that one
18:38five out of ten.
18:40Five out of ten. That's pretty good, really.
18:42APPLAUSE
18:44This one, we actually got it completed
18:46and we got the star there.
18:48So we'll give that
18:50eight out of ten.
18:52APPLAUSE
18:56Again, we got that
18:58finished. It's a bit squiggly.
19:00LAUGHTER
19:02We've still got it finished
19:04and we've still got the star as well.
19:06So I'll award that seven out of ten.
19:08APPLAUSE
19:10And we'll thank Bob,
19:12which was very clear. Very clear.
19:14But he started off a bit big. He sort of
19:16ran out of room. He did, yeah.
19:18I'll award him six out of ten.
19:20Six out of ten for that. OK, Fred.
19:22Thank you very much. Thank you.
19:24Megaminds of Lockdown. Thank you.
19:26Come on!
19:28Good game.
19:30Good game. There we are.
19:32APPLAUSE
19:34Now then,
19:36what's on the board in this board?
19:38Bob and Tony have 30.
19:40Bob and Lorraine have 32.
19:42Oh, well done, you two.
19:44And bad luck, you two.
19:46And we're sorry to lose you,
19:48but you do get a generation going.
19:50Ten of stone, each of you, and we'll see you in our...
19:52And we'll see you in our grand...
19:54Yeah, and he gave you a lift up there.
19:56We'll see you in our grand final, which is coming up very soon.
19:58Thank you all for being here.
20:00There we are. Off you go.
20:02Lovely, lovely.
20:04APPLAUSE
20:06Now, who have we got left?
20:08Right, our third team's from Lancashire.
20:10Their father and daughter, Ron and Kim Hughes.
20:12Right.
20:14APPLAUSE
20:22Welcome, welcome.
20:24You are Kim Hughes, and what do you do? I'm a student, Bruce.
20:26Any jobs during your holidays, have you had?
20:28Oh, yes, lots. I was...
20:30Well, when I went to work in a really pucker restaurant,
20:32and they used to have these, like, silver-dome-shaped cloches.
20:34Oh, that's very cool.
20:36Oh, those big things.
20:38And we'd go over, you see, and take off these cloches
20:40and say, bon appétit, and then scurry away.
20:42Only sometimes I'd go over and lift them up and go,
20:44Mickey Mouse!
20:46I like that.
20:48I like that.
20:50That's a good one.
20:52Now, your main ambition is to be a TV presenter.
20:54Yeah.
20:56Would you like to present me?
20:58Bruce, you know, there just can't be choosers.
21:00LAUGHTER
21:02Don't do me any favours.
21:04No, but I'm trying to give you a chance.
21:06If you just nip back, Bob, just a little bit.
21:08There's your camera there.
21:10Just introduce me, you know, just...
21:12I'll go off, you see, and you introduce me.
21:14Right.
21:16And make me seem better than I really am.
21:18OK, I'll do my best.
21:20All right, fine.
21:22Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
21:24Darling, fabulous is a good word.
21:26Fabulous, you know.
21:28Fabulous foresight.
21:30Energetic.
21:32Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
21:34And I'll finish up with the one and only.
21:36It's always good.
21:38The one and only fabulous.
21:40Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
21:42Don't forget to mention
21:44that I sing and dance, play the piano
21:46and do impressions.
21:48Because you always get some.
21:50Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
21:52Hurry up, dear, they're starting to miss me.
21:54LAUGHTER
21:56You do it yourself.
21:58Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
22:00And welcome to the Generation Game.
22:02And my goodness, we've got a game for you tonight.
22:04We've got the one and only, the young,
22:06the jack of all trades, master of none,
22:08Mr Bruce Forsythe.
22:10APPLAUSE
22:16That was wonderful.
22:18Rosie, you're fired again.
22:20I can't high kick.
22:22You can't high kick, oh, no.
22:24Well, she's at gym, that one.
22:26And we had Ron.
22:28Now, what do you do, Ron?
22:30I'm in sales development.
22:32Oh, I see, good, very good.
22:34You're married to Cathy.
22:36Tell us about the proposal.
22:38It was the time we were living in Canada.
22:40Oh, really?
22:42And I was down to my last 56 cents.
22:44So it was just enough to buy us two cups of coffee.
22:46We split it on us and I thought,
22:48now's the time to get married.
22:50Any pets have you got?
22:52Yes, we've got a little brainless dog.
22:54She's still the guy, what's her name?
22:56Holly.
22:58She'll be watching the show.
23:00Holly, walkies, walkies!
23:02Walkies!
23:04Blake, get that foot down.
23:06Now then, you had a boating experience
23:08you'll never forget.
23:10What is all that about?
23:12When we were over in Canada,
23:14we spent a weekend up in the lakes
23:16with some friends.
23:18They'd taken all the clothes home
23:20and I'd brought the boat back with Cath
23:22on the way back, ran out of petrol
23:24and we were paddling away, they were trying to get to shore
23:26and we were going towards some rocks
23:28and I was worried sick about the boat breaking up on the rocks
23:30so, macho type, you know,
23:32jumped off the boat, onto the rocks,
23:34hit a wet patch in the lake
23:36and I thought, super, get the boat back, no problem
23:38and I had to come home in a pillowcase.
23:40It was the only thing we had in the house.
23:42A pillowcase?
23:44You took all your clothes off and put a pillowcase on?
23:46Completely, came home in a pillowcase.
23:48Somebody mentioned this, I didn't believe this.
23:50We've got a pillowcase here.
23:52We've got a pillowcase here and we cut the legs out.
23:56Will you just put that on?
23:58I've put a bit of weight on.
24:00Just put it on to show us what you mean.
24:02You say you've put a bit of weight on, have you?
24:04A bit of weight.
24:10That's it, is it?
24:14Oh, but it did cover you, I see.
24:16OK, well get off, you look terrible.
24:18Get off, get well apparently.
24:26This way you learn something on this show.
24:28Who are our last team?
24:30Right, our fourth team's from Bedfordshire
24:32in Cambridgeshire, they're mother and son
24:34Patricia Brown and Rhys Crotch.
24:44What was that about?
24:46Oh, I can't wait to get to you.
24:50Oh no, I'll save you till last.
24:52Right, you are Patricia Brown?
24:54I am.
24:56Good, and what do you do?
24:58I work for the ambulance service.
25:00Oh, a very worthwhile job indeed, the ambulance service.
25:02Good, your other half is Tony.
25:04Where did you meet Tony?
25:06We met at Sunbless when we worked there together.
25:08Oh, Sunbless, yes.
25:10In the bakeries.
25:12Apparently the first time he saw me
25:14I'd been waiting to speak to him for about a year.
25:16Oh, really?
25:18And he said to me that he fell in love with me when he first saw me.
25:20Oh, that's beautiful.
25:22Low foot, first sight.
25:24Drums.
25:26Low foot, first sight, drums.
25:28And I bet you thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.
25:32Now, Tony won't let you have an electric blanket.
25:34That's terrible.
25:36Why?
25:38Well, he's always so hot, he literally burns up.
25:40Oh, really, does he?
25:42It's only a little while.
25:44Right, go on then.
25:46How did you know?
25:48So, apparently I woke up one night
25:50and I was absolutely frozen,
25:52really, really cold.
25:54You were really cold and he was burning to blood.
25:56That's right, so I said, well,
25:58you know, why did you wake up?
26:00He said, well, you were so, so cold.
26:02He said, I thought you were dead.
26:04So, honest, I said, well, what did you do about it?
26:06He said, well, I went to sleep and thought I sawed it all out in the morning.
26:08That's terrible.
26:10That is terrible.
26:12That is wicked.
26:14I'll make a note of that.
26:16Last
26:18of the red
26:20hot lunch.
26:22Dear, oh dear.
26:24Oh, you drew an impression of Cleo Lane.
26:26Now, I'm a devoted fan.
26:28Ladies and gentlemen,
26:30Miss Cleo Lane.
26:32Johnny, your dinner's ready.
26:38Johnny, I fell for that, didn't I?
26:40All right, fine. Now then,
26:42over to your son,
26:44Rhys Crotch.
26:46Crotch.
26:48With an O.
26:50Oh, not a U.
26:52Thanks very much.
26:54Now, what do you do?
26:56What do you do?
26:58I'm a barman at a hotel, a golf hotel in Abbotsford.
27:00I see, fine. Johnny, good. And you're married to Karen?
27:02Yep. Karen Crotch.
27:04With an O.
27:06Poor girl.
27:08Oh, dear. How long have you been married?
27:10About three months now.
27:14What a crotch to bear.
27:22Tell us about the proposal,
27:24will you?
27:26At about 12 o'clock midnight
27:28on her birthday, I got some candles out and I got a red rose
27:30and I went down on one knee and proposed.
27:32How very, very romantic.
27:34But you didn't spoil it by saying,
27:36would you do me the honour of becoming Mrs Crotch?
27:40Lovely story, and thank you very much indeed.
27:42Come over here.
27:44Come over with me.
27:46Johnny, sit yourself down.
27:48Our first game is called
27:50Car Commercial. Now, we want you
27:52to do a commercial for a car.
27:54Think of all the best-selling features
27:56and points and all that, and in your own way
27:58just sell it, okay?
28:00First of all, let's show you the car.
28:02You've each got 30 seconds
28:04to sell it, and you
28:06come with me, and the other three
28:08go around the back so you can't see or hear
28:10anything. Put the headphones on.
28:12Okay, now the 30 seconds you'll have,
28:14okay, now sell your car.
28:16Now, there's the camera. You work into that camera
28:18the whole time. Go where you like, do whatever
28:20you like. When your 30 seconds are up,
28:22okay, you strike a pose,
28:24and then you do the slogan, which will be
28:26on that board right just there.
28:28Do the slogan as big as you can,
28:30and it's the hard, hard sell.
28:32Okay, 30 seconds starts...
28:34now.
28:36This is the car. This is the one you've been waiting
28:38for all your life. It's the beautiful
28:40racing green. It's got
28:42wide-angle wheels, alloy wheels,
28:44small little racing wheel.
28:46It's got a 12-litre
28:48supercharger
28:50underneath this bonnet here.
28:52It's got the lotus
28:54colouring on the front.
28:56It's got the streamlining. You'll never be left
28:58at traffic lights again. Never be left at
29:00traffic lights. This thing will really
29:02take you to places that you've never been before.
29:04And now we've got this lovely weather.
29:06Okay, right, now strike your pose. Your pose.
29:08Good. And look in there.
29:10LAUGHTER
29:12Why not be a buyer?
29:14Try a four-side flyer.
29:16APPLAUSE
29:18Well done. Come over here.
29:20Come over there.
29:2430 seconds. Work into that camera there.
29:26When the 30 seconds is up, then you
29:28recline, you know, do a lovely
29:30seductive pose there and do
29:32the last slogan, the slogan bit
29:34from that board there. Right.
29:36That's all there is to it. Your 30 seconds starts...
29:38now.
29:40Unlike other car commercials, this car commercial
29:42is for you, ladies.
29:44We are not interested in your husband's money.
29:46We're interested in your money because we know
29:48that ladies make the right decisions in life.
29:50LAUGHTER
29:52This car...
29:54is automatic.
29:56It's hydromatic.
29:58It's systematic.
30:00But ladies, believe me, you want this car.
30:02You want this car more than
30:04you want Bruce Forsythe.
30:06More than you want Paul Newman.
30:08Okay, quick.
30:10Seductive pose. The pose.
30:12The pose there. On the carpet.
30:14The pose.
30:16Yeah, the last bit. Go on.
30:18So why not be a buyer? Try a
30:20Bruce Forsythe flyer.
30:22APPLAUSE
30:32Come on, next one, next one.
30:34Oh, this is going to be trouble.
30:36You'll need a new crutch after this.
30:38Away you go.
30:4030 seconds starts now. Into the camera.
30:42Welcome to Crutch's Car Lot.
30:44The place to be. Buy this car
30:46and trim with me.
30:48I can sell it for you. I can sell it
30:50if you want me to. 30 seconds to go.
30:52Keep going and I'll be the man
30:54to sell you the car the best that I can.
30:56This car's got everything. It's got crutchy carbons.
30:58It's got crutchy wheels.
31:00Crutches are one for you.
31:02Come on, be the man. Let's do it.
31:04I know you want it. Cars can have
31:06everything you need.
31:08Crutchy steering wheels.
31:10Here we are. Okay, strike your pose.
31:12Strike your pose.
31:14And do the slogan.
31:16So why not be a flyer?
31:18Try...
31:20a full-size flyer.
31:22Yay!
31:24Lovely.
31:26Over there.
31:28And the last one up...
31:30There you are.
31:3230 seconds you've got. Sell it into that camera there.
31:34Are you ready? I'm ready.
31:36Okay, 30 seconds starts...
31:38now.
31:40Now.
31:42You're finished with that.
31:46That's where you normally
31:48start.
31:50Okay,
31:52do it which way you like. Your 30 seconds
31:54starts now.
31:58If you want to buy this car,
32:00please come and buy this car.
32:02It's the latest in motor
32:04vehiculation.
32:06In the summer, you can go without a roof.
32:08It's got an old motor,
32:10but sometimes the old ones
32:12are the better ones.
32:14It's got a beautiful yellow stripe.
32:16Beautiful yellow stripe
32:18down the middle. It has lights.
32:20Handy for if you want to drive at night time.
32:24You can get in here.
32:26And there's a lovely little wheel.
32:28Lower the car a bit. Seductive.
32:30Seductive. And do the pose.
32:32So why not be a buyer?
32:34Try a full-size flyer.
32:38Yes.
32:42Absolutely
32:44marvellous. Come back here.
32:46Come back here. Absolutely great.
32:48I tell you, absolutely.
32:50Now, to judge this... All right, all right, all right.
32:52No, look out, look out!
32:56Do I have to do
32:58everything here?
33:00Do you think I've got enough to do?
33:02Investing in people's lives?
33:05To judge this,
33:09we welcome from one of BBC Two's
33:11most popular programmes,
33:13Top Gear, Quentin
33:15Wilson.
33:20Hello, Quentin. How are you?
33:22Thank you very much for being here.
33:24What do you think? Right.
33:26Well, first I have to say, in their defence,
33:28that it's a very difficult car
33:30to sell to sane, responsible people.
33:32It's gloriously impractical,
33:34hopelessly impossible,
33:36but it's a marvellous car. So you all did
33:38very, very well indeed, except Ron,
33:40unfortunately.
33:42So I'm going to give you five,
33:44but don't take it personally. Only five, yes.
33:46Kim, on the other hand...
33:48Now, if you ever want a job,
33:50come and see us at Top Gear.
33:52So I'm going to give you nine, Kim.
33:54OK?
33:56Well done, well done.
33:58Now then, over here.
34:00Patricia,
34:02valiant effort,
34:04but it sounded a wee bit like a British Rail
34:06platform announcement.
34:08Oh, that's a shame.
34:10With the best will in the world, I'm going to give you six.
34:12Oh, it's still good. It's still very good, yeah.
34:16Now then, what about Rhys?
34:18Now, Rhys,
34:20where do we start?
34:22I love the rap, I love the rhyme,
34:24so I'm going to give you
34:26five for your selling ability,
34:28but another three for your star quality.
34:30So that makes eight.
34:32Very good.
34:34Thank you very much indeed, Caitlin Rolson.
34:36Down there if you will.
34:38Very good.
34:40Well, what's on the board,
34:42Miss Ford?
34:44Well, Ron and Kim have 14,
34:46Patricia and Rhys also have 14.
34:48Oh, level, level, level.
34:50Very good.
34:52We have a game called Baby Picks.
34:54We're going to show you some photos
34:56of some famous people
34:58when they were babies.
35:00All you have to do is tell us who you think they are
35:02now.
35:04To your lecterns, immediately.
35:06Come on, to your lecterns.
35:08I'll get in the middle of you, here.
35:10So that you can't see each other.
35:12And could we have Baby Pick number one,
35:14please?
35:16There we are.
35:18There's a lovely face.
35:20You have to look at the eyes, I think, with this game.
35:22OK, have a guess. Come on.
35:26Right, Kim.
35:28Who is that today?
35:30Yes.
35:32It's Princess Anne.
35:34Oh, yes, a lot of surprises out there.
35:36Yes, don't keep nudging me.
35:40Like a big kid. Right.
35:42Now, what have you got over there?
35:44Right, we have Princess Anne.
35:46And Sue Lawley.
35:48Oh, not much difference, is there?
35:50Right, so you get one point for Princess Anne.
35:52We've got Rosemary.
35:54Kim thought it was you,
35:56with that lovely fair hair.
35:58Right, and we've got Princess Anne!
36:00Yes!
36:02Lovely, lovely, lovely.
36:04And the next one, please.
36:08There we are.
36:10That little face.
36:14I don't think the cut's got anything to do with it,
36:16but we hope you're playing this at home.
36:18And we also hope you're better at it at home.
36:22If not, go and make a cup of tea.
36:26Yeah, right.
36:28OK, fine, good.
36:30Who is that, and who did that grow up into?
36:34Kim Linton.
36:36But when you look at the eyes, look at those eyes, you see?
36:38Look, the same look.
36:40So, what have we got over there?
36:42Well, we have got Kenny Lynch.
36:46I tell you what,
36:48they would lynch him for that.
36:50They would lynch him, yes?
36:52And Bernard Cribbings.
36:54And we've got Gary Lineker,
36:56and we've got Bruce.
36:58The next one, please.
37:02Oh, you should get this one.
37:04You should get this one.
37:06As I say,
37:08I hope you're playing this at home,
37:10and I hope you're all getting away there.
37:12Right, good.
37:14Good.
37:16Now, who did she grow into?
37:20Annika Rice. Annika Rice.
37:22Where did you get over there?
37:24Queen Elizabeth. Yeah?
37:26Queen Elizabeth, well, the Queen. Queen Elizabeth, yeah.
37:28I know what the Queen's name is.
37:30I know we have a Queen Elizabeth
37:32in this country.
37:36And Claire Rainer. Right, and Claire Rainer.
37:40Right, and we've got Queen Elizabeth,
37:42as well. So, Annika,
37:44you must be thrilled, my darling.
37:46And may we all reign under you.
37:48Right, could we have the last one,
37:50please?
37:52Ah, there we are, the last one.
37:54I'll give you a clue with this one,
37:56as much as he is a young
37:58man, and he's
38:00made, he's done very well in the last
38:02few years, in
38:04different departments of television and
38:06theatre. I will give you that as a clue.
38:08Right, OK, we've
38:10got answers. Now, who is that
38:12today? It is
38:14Philip Schofield. Did you know
38:16that?
38:18There we are. So, what have we got over there?
38:20We've got Andrew Lloyd Webber. Oh, yes.
38:22And Philip Schofield.
38:24Oh, you did! Well done, Rhys.
38:26Well done indeed.
38:28And we've got Andrew Lloyd Webber
38:30and Richard Branson, so nothing rough,
38:32but one point for you, Rhys. Well done.
38:34That could have clinched it, I think. But a good game,
38:36and I hope you give
38:38a round of applause.
38:40Come in here, come in here.
38:42Now, then, what's on the board,
38:44Miss Ford? Well, Ron
38:46and Kim have 15, Patricia and Rhys
38:48have 16. Oh, just one,
38:50and I thought that was just that one.
38:52Philip Schofield
38:54did it.
38:56Philip, very sorry for losing.
38:58But you do get our Generations 2
39:00game telephone for both of you, and thank you
39:02both for being with us. Thank you. So, if you
39:04just pop over there, and let's remind
39:06you, you'll be playing in our Grand
39:08Final. Come over here.
39:14Come here.
39:16And we've got a Grand Final for you, but be
39:18careful that the quickness of the hand
39:20doesn't deceive your eyes.
39:22Here, more than ably assisted
39:24by Debbie Magee, is that
39:26master of magic, Paul
39:28Daniel!
39:36Oh,
39:38isn't he nice?
39:40Well, now, first, I should point out
39:42there's only four things for our contestants to do.
39:44First, a little digital dexterity by Daniels.
39:46Now, all they have to do is take a deck
39:48of cards and fan it so that it changes
39:50colour. You must show that it changes colour,
39:52and if you wanted to make it into things like question
39:54marks, you can do all that, but the real test
39:56comes when they've got to split it into two
39:58halves, like so.
40:00And to appropriate patter, they
40:02push the ends together, and they will find that
40:04it glides in one after the other.
40:06I'll do it slowly, and you can see exactly
40:08how that works. It just pushed in one after the other.
40:10Now, you make the sign of the devil.
40:12It's OK. It won't hurt.
40:14And Debbie becomes the assistant,
40:16and that opens like this. Now, these
40:18go on there into the sign of the devil, and then
40:20you do this.
40:24Ooh!
40:28And now, for the next trick,
40:30I need a pair of scissors.
40:32A pair of scissors.
40:34A little bag.
40:36A little bag. And a volunteer,
40:38a handsome volunteer, with a tie.
40:40Oh, yes, he'll do.
40:42Now, we take the tie.
40:44Mr. Handsome.
40:46And we cut through the middle.
40:48No, we don't. This is just the rehearsal.
40:50Go on, then.
40:52Too late. All right, then. So, we cut it up
40:54into little pieces, and we put it in the bag.
40:56We put the scissors down
40:58over here on this table.
41:00I'm your sister.
41:02Oh, now. Oh, this is important. You're building up
41:04your part. Awful dust. Awful dust. This is very important.
41:06The magic dust with the magic words.
41:08Abracadabra.
41:10That's it. That should do it. And I take
41:12the bag, and the tie has
41:14disappeared through here.
41:16And it's back over here.
41:20Please, just for a moment.
41:22Next.
41:24For the next trick, we use
41:26a jug of milk and a paper
41:28cone. Oh, right.
41:30You just can't get the staff anymore.
41:32Sorry. All glamorous assistants.
41:34And we pour the milk.
41:36Thank you. Put the cone the right way round.
41:38Into the cone. Yes, I'm a bit worried
41:40about this. Just a minute. I'll fold the end over.
41:42Ah.
41:44Are you good? Okay, I think that's
41:46enough. And we put the jug down
41:48over here, and then we get
41:50a very special thing.
41:52A magic wand, and we give it a shake.
41:55You don't need magic words
41:57with this. It's got a funny noise. Where did you get that?
41:59That's good, though, isn't it?
42:01Listen, can I do it again? I like doing this.
42:03I'm talking about the
42:05sequin on your lip.
42:07Oh, my God.
42:09It's magic dust, you see. I said magic
42:11words. Yes, go on. What happens now, then?
42:13Well, the milk should have disappeared. Oh,
42:15no, it hasn't. Oh, yes, it has.
42:17Oh, no, it hasn't. Oh, yes,
42:19it has.
42:22How did you do that?
42:24How did you do that?
42:26The woman is taking over. And now,
42:28over here, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for,
42:30and so have I, it's called the end.
42:32And this is, in fact, a yellow box.
42:34Now, this yellow box, you can see this yellow box,
42:36you can see all the way through it. One of the best pictures on TV.
42:38Hello.
42:40And you must remember that this broad end,
42:42there's a narrow end of the broad end, this is the top.
42:44And you can see right the way through it, that's important.
42:46You can see into the red one, because it's got a window.
42:48And because of the window, you can just push this in here like this,
42:50you see, and it goes all the way down, you can see it.
42:52And now, this is very, very important,
42:54you say the magic word,
42:56simsalabim, hey diddle diddle,
42:58we're working a fiddle. And over here now,
43:00you can start, oh, look, oh, isn't that good?
43:02Oh, that's fantastic.
43:04Wow. Yes, yes.
43:06A deer, a female deer,
43:08a ram, a drop of thorn.
43:10It's been done, that one.
43:12Oh, thanks, Rosie.
43:14A deer, a ram, a drop of thorn.
43:16Altogether now.
43:18I've got a picture.
43:20I've got a picture of an artist.
43:22Oh, hang on, hang on.
43:24Land of hope
43:26and glory.
43:30Well done.
43:32But this is the most important part of all.
43:34Place your right hand on the right-hand side of the red box.
43:36Place your left hand on the left-hand side of the red box.
43:38And we say the magic words, abracadabra,
43:40finish it like all magic shows.
43:48Well done.
43:50All magic shows should have a wabbit.
43:52And what's his name? Starsky,
43:54cos he's got a hutch upstairs.
43:56But you two work so well together.
43:58We do, we do. Thank you so much for putting
44:00all this little... We do, we do.
44:02...lovely novelty bit together for us to play with.
44:04But there's money as well, isn't there?
44:06Of course there is. It's imposed if you believe
44:08that you believe anything. Will you come back
44:10and do some marking? Probably not.
44:12Thank you. You will, you will.
44:14Right, now then, the vital, vital
44:16toss-up, right?
44:18Here we are, heads or tails, Lorraine? Heads.
44:20Heads it is.
44:22Heads, you've got it.
44:24So do you want to go first or second? First.
44:26First, get it over with.
44:28OK, go over there if you will.
44:30And these two, will you put these two in a group
44:32for prison and tell them the key's
44:34under the mat?
44:36Are we ready? Now for magic
44:38take two.
44:40APPLAUSE
44:46Ladies and gentlemen,
44:48this, as you can see, is an ordinary pack of cards.
44:50I can fan it round that way
44:52or you can change colour
44:54and fan it round that way.
44:56Or make a question mark.
44:58LAUGHTER
45:00Or you can then split it very, very carefully
45:02if you're good.
45:04You're going to like this, not a lot.
45:06LAUGHTER
45:08APPLAUSE
45:10Then you just push them in together, if they'll go.
45:12Just very, very gently,
45:14very gently.
45:16And then you make the special sign.
45:20And my ably assisted
45:22Lorraine, you'll just...
45:24And there they are.
45:26APPLAUSE
45:28APPLAUSE
45:30OK, and for the next trick
45:32I need a pair of scissors.
45:34Scissors.
45:38And I need a...
45:40No, I don't.
45:42I need an awesome
45:44assistant
45:46who's got a tie on.
45:48Will I do, will I do?
45:50No, next I need a bag.
45:52A bag, a bag.
45:54If you can hold that open.
45:56And I take the scissors
45:58and I cut the tie
46:00like so.
46:02You're not supposed to do that.
46:04That's my best tie.
46:06Is she supposed to do this?
46:08You can't do this.
46:10Put the scissors down there.
46:12Take the bag
46:14and hey presto, say the magic words.
46:16What about the daff, the daff?
46:18Bit of magic dust.
46:20Magic dust makes all the difference.
46:22And say the magic words
46:24abracadabra and...
46:26LAUGHTER
46:28APPLAUSE
46:30That's my tie.
46:32That's my tie.
46:34My best tie.
46:36LAUGHTER
46:38The next one, get on with the next one.
46:40My next trick.
46:42I need
46:44a paper cone and a glass.
46:46You can hold that for me.
46:48Paper cone, nothing inside.
46:50Nothing inside.
46:52A jug of milk.
46:54You can hold onto that tightly.
46:56I'll just pour this in.
46:58I'll crimp the bottom,
47:00I'll crimp the bottom.
47:02I think that's enough.
47:04Yes, it's not leaking,
47:06no, no, it's very dry.
47:08I've got a magic word, magic wand.
47:10Where did you get that from?
47:12LAUGHTER
47:14I like that, I'll do that again.
47:16LAUGHTER
47:18What does it say?
47:20From that, the milk
47:22has disappeared.
47:24LAUGHTER
47:26No, just to prove it.
47:28LAUGHTER
47:30APPLAUSE
47:32I'll try and take one.
47:34LAUGHTER
47:36APPLAUSE
47:38LAUGHTER
47:40And just to prove it.
47:42LAUGHTER
47:44APPLAUSE
47:46APPLAUSE
47:48This is the picture we've all been waiting for,
47:50the end.
47:52As you can see, this is a yellow box.
47:54This is a red box.
47:56This is a yellow box,
47:58straight through it.
48:00Best picture on television.
48:02Straight through it,
48:04and the yellow box will, believe me,
48:06will fit into the red box.
48:08We fit the yellow box
48:10into the red box like so,
48:12say the magic words, hocus pocus,
48:14we won't go on with that,
48:16and away we go.
48:18LAUGHTER
48:20APPLAUSE
48:22MUSIC
48:24MUSIC
48:26MUSIC
48:28MUSIC
48:30Lover of Linda
48:34We've got the last bit to do, the last bit to do.
48:36The big finish.
48:38The big finish.
48:40The yellow box is still inside the red box.
48:42Well, it was when I put it there.
48:44LAUGHTER
48:46What do we get?
48:48LAUGHTER
48:50APPLAUSE
48:54APPLAUSE
48:58Weren't they absolutely marvellous?
49:01Come here.
49:02The pair of you, that was so well done.
49:05Thank you so much.
49:07Jonny, good, over there you go.
49:09Good luck. Good luck to you both.
49:11We're now ready for Magic Take Two.
49:15APPLAUSE
49:23OK, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
49:26No, sorry. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
49:29Right.
49:31OK, I'm going to do a card trick.
49:38Don't laugh now, ending's good.
49:42Might disappear.
49:44Back again.
49:49This side looks pretty, does it?
49:51Yes.
49:52What about this side?
49:55Right, split them up.
50:05Right, for some reason you put them together like that...
50:09..and do this side.
50:11Devil, whatever.
50:12Put them like that, firm in the end.
50:19Thank you very much.
50:20Now, for my next trick, I'd like some scissors.
50:23Scissors.
50:29And an old bag. A bag.
50:36Now, what we're going to do is a wonderful piece of magic
50:39with this tie.
50:42Try and hold the bag for me.
50:45Just hold the bag, thank you.
50:48Do you know how much I paid for this tie?
50:50I loved it when you got it.
50:52I just wanted to do something sweet.
50:54Maybe these would be better.
50:56Thank you so much.
50:58Shut the bag.
51:05Yes!
51:08OK, guys.
51:11Come on.
51:13One.
51:15Two.
51:18Four.
51:20Five.
51:21Six.
51:22Don't worry, don't worry.
51:24The glitter dust.
51:25Where's my magic dust?
51:27All is not lost.
51:29A little bit of dust.
51:33I need to go to the chip shop with her.
51:38Your tie is fine!
51:45Thank you so much.
51:46Now, what we do here, we have a nice piece of paper.
51:49It looks like an ordinary piece of paper to you,
51:51but it is, in fact, magic.
51:54And here we have a jug of milk.
52:01Oh!
52:03Is that better?
52:12Keep the illusion, that's it.
52:14Away you go.
52:16As you can see...
52:19A box.
52:24On that side, it's got this edge.
52:27And this side hasn't.
52:32Right.
52:34Yeah.
52:35Now, we've got to put it in here.
52:36Can you see?
52:38Can you see?
52:39Yes!
52:42Crotchus, crotchus, crotchus.
52:45Crotchus, crotchus.
52:50Hold it again for now.
52:51Do, do, do, do!
52:55A letter from the ocean waves.
52:57A letter from the ocean waves.
52:59Rosie's washing.
53:01Sing now.
53:02A letter of hope and glory.
53:06What next?
53:07Ah, no, that's it.
53:08The last bit, the last bit coming up, the big bit.
53:10Big finish.
53:11Big finish.
53:16APPLAUSE
53:19Look at the rabbit, look at the rabbit!
53:22Look at the poor little rabbit, look!
53:24Oh, never mind, but you did better, didn't they do?
53:26Absolutely marvellous.
53:28You really did do well.
53:29Come over here and can we have the other two back?
53:32Well done, you two as well.
53:34And welcome back to Mark This, Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee.
53:38Yes!
53:39APPLAUSE
53:45Well, what is your decision?
53:47I have a decision.
53:48My decision is...
53:49Oh!
53:50..that I thought the first couple were really excellent.
53:54They really remembered things we said really well.
53:56Yeah, they remembered everything.
53:57They said exactly the same thing.
53:58They remembered the details and all that.
53:59Brilliant, excellent.
54:00And his card fanning was good too.
54:01Yeah.
54:02Very, very good.
54:03But this couple, of course, in there...
54:04They were excellent as well.
54:05..ad-libbing and all that was excellent,
54:07the way, you know, making it up cos they couldn't remember it.
54:11Anyway, we've decided to...
54:13Number two.
54:14..put them...
54:15We're giving them 17.
54:1617, yes.
54:17..and pipped at the post by platinum-plated Plutocrats, 18.
54:20Oh, just won it!
54:22APPLAUSE
54:27Thank you so much for being part of it.
54:29Pleasure.
54:30And thank you for getting all this together.
54:31It's been a pleasure.
54:32A pleasure it is.
54:33But what kind of pressure have we got from you in the future?
54:36Oh, yes.
54:37What's coming up?
54:38Well, we're recording the next series of magic shows.
54:40Lovely.
54:41They'll start at Christmas, go out onwards,
54:42and while at the tail end of those,
54:44Martin and Debbie and I hit the road
54:47and we go a bit in England...
54:49Oh!
54:50..a bit in Ireland, that'll be good,
54:51cos we haven't been there for a while.
54:52Then we go to the Middle East and they finish up in Kuala Lumpur.
54:55Oh, lovely.
54:56We'll have a wonderful tour, won't we?
54:58And we look forward to seeing the new series.
55:00Once more, thank you, Paul Daniels and Debbie MacArthur.
55:04APPLAUSE
55:05Thank you very much.
55:06Always a pleasure.
55:09OK, there we are.
55:11And we're so sorry to lose you two,
55:13but you will be getting a Generation Game answering telephone each
55:16and also a pocket coloured television each.
55:19And thank you very much.
55:20You've been a lot of laughs.
55:22I'll never forget Crock and Patricia there.
55:24Over you go there.
55:25Thank you again.
55:26And you two, come on.
55:27APPLAUSE
55:28The Big Cup.
55:29There you go.
55:30There you go.
55:31APPLAUSE
55:34Take the doors away, please.
55:36Lots of articles are going to pass before your eyes.
55:39OK, you're going to have 40 seconds for this.
55:41Good luck.
55:4240 seconds starting from now.
55:45On the conveyor belt tonight we have a case of champagne,
55:48a pottery elephant,
55:50a Persian carpet,
55:52a broken record,
55:54a selection of board games,
55:56a coffee set,
55:57a plate of spaghetti,
55:59a portable computer game,
56:01a step machine,
56:03a fashion waistcoat.
56:06Hey!
56:07CHEERING
56:09A pair of crystal candlesticks,
56:11a piggy telephone,
56:12a juicer,
56:13a sunny vase,
56:16two silk ties,
56:18an automatic camera,
56:20a fun hold-all,
56:22a deep fat fryer
56:24and a translator.
56:26Yes.
56:27Lovely.
56:28APPLAUSE
56:30Keep thinking now, keep thinking.
56:32Nice thoughts.
56:33Round to come.
56:34Sit yourselves down.
56:35OK, you're going to get another 40 seconds.
56:37You'll get the first 20.
56:38When you hear a funny noise, Lorraine, you will take over.
56:41OK, remember everything you remember,
56:43you'll take home with you tonight.
56:45Here comes your 40 seconds.
56:46Another good luck to you starting from now.
56:49Champagne, elephant,
56:51a rug,
56:52broken record,
56:53spaghetti...
56:54Yes.
56:55Erm...
56:56A lemon squeezer,
56:58a transcorder,
56:59a computer game,
57:01a computer game,
57:02a cuddly toy,
57:03a cuddly toy,
57:04a cuddly toy,
57:05yes, good.
57:06Er, you don't know what that is.
57:08A computer game.
57:09A computer game, yes, a computer game.
57:11Carry on, my darling.
57:12A translator,
57:13a pig phone,
57:14a camera,
57:15candlesticks,
57:16a bag,
57:17a holiday bag,
57:18spaghetti...
57:19Do you like the waistcoat?
57:20A step machine,
57:21do you like the waistcoat?
57:22The waistcoat,
57:23toys...
57:24Er...
57:25The camera.
57:26The camera said that.
57:28A deep fat fryer.
57:29A deep fat fryer.
57:31Didn't they do well?
57:33He's missing it.
57:34Get up, get up.
57:35Go on, get up.
57:36Go on.
57:37Here we are.
57:38Here we are.
57:39You've got everything.
57:41Absolutely.
57:42Now then,
57:43I'm so glad you got the broken record
57:46because that is the very latest
57:48mini hi-fi system.
57:50So that's marvellous.
57:51And the plate of spaghetti
57:53is...
57:55A fabulous holiday for four
57:57to Rome.
57:58Are you happy?
58:00And, er...
58:01Ooh!
58:02Congratulations.
58:03Congratulations.
58:04And on behalf of Rosie and myself
58:06and everyone,
58:07and I do mean everyone,
58:08bye for now.
58:10Be there.
58:11Come on!
58:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
58:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
58:47Bye-bye!
58:48APPLAUSE
58:50Bye-bye!