Sister Wives Season 20 Episode 1

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Transcript

00:00Time to do something different.

00:02I don't know how to explain this.

00:05It was never intended for me to know that Janelle was moving.

00:08Oh, I don't know. I need to find a man.

00:11Now I'm 52.

00:14But you have room for people to be in your life, too.

00:18Madison actually called Janelle,

00:21saying Dad said he didn't love you.

00:24I know, but couldn't you, like, reach out to her?

00:26All this upheaval, all this damage, all this tearing us apart.

00:31I don't know how we fix it or when we fix it or whether we fix it.

00:35We'll see you next time.

00:41We'll see you next time.

00:43The big family, it's just a mess.

01:10It's a painful, sad mess.

01:14There was a point where I just went, holy cow.

01:17I'm having days where I'm feeling vengeful and angry

01:23and other days when I'm feeling benevolent and kind.

01:25And it's just become this rollercoaster for me.

01:29I'm just waking kids up, getting ready for school.

01:33Got Solomon in the shower right now.

01:35Ari gets in a half hour or goes into school an hour after Solomon.

01:40I think things are relatively good with Janelle.

01:41Once in a blue moon, I talk to Janelle, and once even more rare, I talk to Mary.

01:48With Mary, we really do struggle to talk.

01:50I don't blame her, but it doesn't make life easy.

01:53And then with Christine, we text a little bit about Truly, pick up times and stuff like that,

01:58but we don't talk in person at all.

02:00Instead of having an amicable, hey, you know, we're not really working out.

02:07Have a good life.

02:08See you later.

02:10It got darker and darker and worse and worse until breakup.

02:13And then, oh yeah, hey, I actually did love them.

02:17We're going to have a Tuscan white bean soup.

02:24A Tuscan.

02:25Tuscan.

02:26Because now I crave everything Tuscan.

02:28I like soup in the wintertime.

02:30I love soup.

02:31Soup is my love language.

02:32I love being married.

02:34I love being married to David.

02:36First year of marriage, they say that a lot of people fight in their first year of marriage.

02:40I think we're doing good, I'm just saying.

02:41I think that applies to young couples because they're trying to figure out each other.

02:47I think so too.

02:47But when you're older, I just don't care about a lot of the little stuff.

02:53No.

02:53No, I don't either.

02:55Our first year was really a tough year and a lot of, in some ways we had really good stuff,

03:00but tough.

03:01It wasn't between you and I.

03:02It was the passing up garrison that was really tough.

03:05Yeah.

03:06It was really, really tough.

03:07It was a lot of emotions.

03:11I miss them every day.

03:14I bet you do.

03:15Every day.

03:16Yeah.

03:19So it was tough to see how you guys all handle it.

03:24And there's a lot of raw emotions going on.

03:31Like I live in Utah.

03:33Janelle lives in North Carolina.

03:35Maddie's there.

03:36A lot of my kids live in Utah too.

03:39Gwendolyn still lives in Flagstaff.

03:42So other than Cody, like they're still in Flagstaff.

03:45Cody and Robin.

03:46Mary lives in Parowan.

03:47Everybody's very, very separated.

03:56So it's been about a year and a half that I've been here at the B&B.

03:59Things are good.

04:00I like my life.

04:01I don't need you showing up looking like you just rolled out of bed or trying to find you a man.

04:08I do have interaction with different members of the family at different times.

04:12I've got good relationships with some and almost non-existent with some.

04:17You know what I mean?

04:19At this point with Coyote Pass, it is still an ongoing situation.

04:24Cleaning up Coyote Pass is not something that Mary and Janelle are going to do.

04:32There's a lot of stuff that was left behind by Janelle that she was using for the RV.

04:37Mary and Janelle expect me to do all the cleanup on this place, but I'm not motivated to do that.

04:42Not for them, because they haven't been kind.

04:45It feels like he's trying to find any possible thing to put on me, like, as far as responsibility with a property.

04:51You know, like, I'm just wanting to get it taken care of.

04:54I think it's his stuff.

05:00All right, I'm going to do these, because, you know, I'm grandma and I can cook the fun things for the kids, right?

05:05Absolutely.

05:07That's why we love having you here.

05:08I love them.

05:09I love North Carolina.

05:12I never thought about it.

05:14It wasn't a state I ever thought about, and I love it.

05:17I have four seasons, like, all the things I need.

05:20I've been, um, I've been trying to kind of put myself in situations where I can meet people.

05:28Some of the community events, I've been trying to take a few classes down at the coffee shop or whatever, or the cooking store.

05:35So, just trying to get my bearings.

05:37Okay, so, Coyote Pass is still a pain in my ass.

05:43It's not unsettled.

05:44No.

05:44So, you know, when I married Cody, I really did feel a calling.

05:48I had a very strong spiritual witness that I was supposed to be married to Cody.

05:52And I don't feel that pull anymore towards plural marriage.

05:56Look, I don't care how fast it sells.

05:58I just want it resolved.

05:59Isn't he all about fairness, though?

06:01Oh, no.

06:01Only for him.

06:02Oh, yeah.

06:03Okay, I got you.

06:04I got you.

06:05Only when it applies to Cody Brown.

06:06That's true.

06:06That makes sense.

06:07Well, I'm sorry that that is what you're going through, and the stress of the property.

06:13You know, I had sort of thought about a spiritual divorce a long time ago and didn't even realize it was an option.

06:18So, when Mary got one, I'm like, oh, hey, Mary, who do I call?

06:23I don't know, you know.

06:24So, she has been kind of helping me get in touch with everybody.

06:27You know, there would be so much benefit to just making polygamy legal and giving any wife a claim on her husband's assets.

06:35I could bet you almost would make polygamy go away rather than chase it underground and put people in jail.

06:40Just make it about the financial.

06:41No guy's going to be giving part of his estate to four or five wives.

06:46It's just not going to happen.

06:48All right, what do you think?

06:49Are those done?

06:50Yeah, I think those are done.

06:50I think those are done.

06:51Cool.

06:52All right.

06:52You know, I am really glad that it's worked out that I have relocated to North Carolina.

07:02Because after Garrison's death, I think Flagstaff would have been harder.

07:06I know that Wyoming was absolutely the right place to bury him.

07:10Everybody pretty much was able to make it.

07:13We're always talking about him.

07:14It almost is like he's very present.

07:16And I'm really good.

07:18And then at night, sometimes when it's quiet or some picture comes up on my phone,

07:22then I'm not good.

07:23I love being with the grandkids.

07:25Love it.

07:26It's so therapeutic for me.

07:32After the funeral, we went back to Erica's house and we were having a barbecue.

07:37Leon and I started talking about just unpacking everything.

07:45Because Garrison's death showed a lot.

07:49Like, so with Cody, it's like, I'm angry at the way things happened.

07:57But I can control how I react and how I reciprocate.

08:03And I'm still deciding how I do that.

08:06I'm sad.

08:09I'm sad for him.

08:10And I'm really sad for Robin's kids.

08:14And, like, if I had a conversation with any of them, I'd be like, I'm, like, I have nothing against you.

08:19And if I've ever done anything to hurt you, I'm sorry.

08:22Like, I would love to have a conversation.

08:24I'm not sure what to say other than that.

08:27Like, if I ever cause you pain, I'm sorry.

08:29You want your dad to show up?

08:54And you want reconciliation.

09:06And I know that I played a part.

09:09But I'm angry.

09:11And I'm angry because I'm still trying out to learn to not be disappointed.

09:32I would really love to have a better relationship with my children that I had with those ex-wives.

09:37I literally just compartmentalized the heartbreak.

09:42I don't know what to do.

09:46I would love healing with every single person I know.

09:49I would love healing with Mary.

09:51I would love healing with Janelle.

09:53I would love healing with Christine.

09:56And, of course, all of my children.

09:59But I think we're in an impasse here.

10:01Because this healing can only happen on their terms only.

10:07I would absolutely love it if Cody and I, if Robin and I, if, you know, me and Christine, me and Janelle,

10:15could just get to a place with each other that we can be kind and civil to each other.

10:26I think in order to really heal with anybody, there has to be trust.

10:30We all need to see each other again when it's not around a funeral.

10:34So we can all start to heal a different way.

10:37I'm still learning how to...

10:39to see him for who he is.

10:45And I feel like Leon's already come to peace with this.

10:49And it's really hard because I don't feel like I have.

10:52I'm trying to understand that maybe he didn't know how to show up.

10:59And he might be hurting.

11:00We're ready to go.

11:14Let's go.

11:14Let's go do this thing.

11:15Let's go have you speed date.

11:17No, I have never even thought about doing speed dating.

11:20Just too stressful.

11:21It's too big of a group and it's way too noisy.

11:23Losing a wife in our religion was sort of a walk of shame.

11:26I've been concerned that somehow or another I'm diminished in Robin's eyes.

11:35I am going on a date with a whole bunch of men.

11:43I think it's going to be a fun day.

11:45I don't know how it's going to be.

11:46I've never done anything like this before, but I think it'll be fun.

11:49So I'm heading up to Salt Lake because I am going to go to a speed dating event.

11:53It should be very interesting.

11:57I have never done speed dating before.

12:03So just do that when you walk in tonight.

12:07Yes.

12:08Okay.

12:08And then...

12:09Listen, if somebody doesn't like me and all my snort laughter, then they just aren't going to get me.

12:27And then they're just not my person.

12:29I think humor in any case.

12:37I don't care if you fart when you laugh accidentally.

12:40I don't...

12:41You know, I don't have a problem with Mary's snort laugh.

12:45We're ready to go.

12:46Let's go.

12:47Let's go do this thing.

12:48Let's go have you speed date.

12:49No, I have never even thought about doing speed dating.

12:52Just too stressful.

12:53It's too big of a group and it's way too noisy.

12:56I have to meet them totally organically.

12:57I'm not going on any apps.

12:58I'm not speed dating.

13:00I'm not letting anyone set me up.

13:01Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

13:04Speed date for a soulmate.

13:07Dating is interesting because some people really just don't want to date.

13:13It's teaching me how to trust myself.

13:22I'm interested in finding somebody who is kind, who is outgoing, who is super confident.

13:28with who he is.

13:33I would love to find somebody who's tall.

13:35Like, six feet or taller would be awesome.

13:39somebody who has, like, really good, kind eyes.

13:43And you can see if somebody's a good person by looking in their eyes.

13:55For the most part, it's just Cody and I and our kids.

14:00You know, I nag him about interacting with his other children.

14:04He pushes back, tells me to give him space, da-da-da.

14:08So, but other than that, it's just us.

14:11School years ago, school mornings were, like, a crazy thing because some mothers were off

14:17to work and some mothers were getting kids ready for school and some kids were getting

14:20themselves ready for school.

14:21All right, come on, you got to eat.

14:30You got everything, Gabe?

14:32Yes.

14:33Good.

14:34Um, you want breakfast for you?

14:35Yes.

14:36Oh.

14:37This is pretty much how it goes.

14:40I really wasn't that involved with getting Klan ready for school.

14:44I was at work.

14:47It was bittersweet.

14:58The Lehigh experience, it was, it was really special.

15:03Yeah, there we go.

15:05We just, we just killed that turkey right there.

15:09There's this strange thing that Robyn and I were in plural marriage together.

15:13It all came together and they all just left.

15:16Like, we're monogamous, but we didn't choose that.

15:19It was kind of chosen for us when Cody's exes left.

15:25I did not choose monogamy for Robyn because I chose me.

15:33Like I didn't have a relationship with Cody and I barely had one with Robyn.

15:38And I wasn't willing to do that just so she could say she lived polygamy.

15:42Okay.

15:43Okay.

15:44Go eat.

15:45Vitamins.

15:46Solid.

15:47It's definitely a different balance because he wasn't there all the time, you know?

15:51It was a couple times a week.

15:53The yellow and the green.

15:54Try not to spill, bud.

15:56I think because he had so many wives, he didn't have to check in the same way as you would

16:01as a monogamous.

16:02Okay, here's your school equipment too.

16:04I was very devoted to my family life, but now I'm embedded in my family life.

16:10He's putting his phone in his pocket.

16:13Oh, Saul, it's not good for your body.

16:20You know, with plural marriage, you'd think you would need more accountability.

16:24But I think I'm being held more accountable now with Robyn.

16:28I love you.

16:31I love you.

16:32Bye, Mom.

16:33Bye.

16:34Have a good day.

16:35I'm now in a different marriage than I've ever been in.

16:38Good morning.

16:39You ready to go?

16:41Losing a wife in our religion was sort of a walk of shame.

16:47Are you going to smile?

16:49There we go.

16:51I've been concerned that somehow or another I'm diminished in Robyn's eyes, because we

16:56haven't had an easy three years going through all of this.

17:00Did you get all the bags?

17:01See you, Lita.

17:02Her bags?

17:03Got it all.

17:04I've had family members ask me if Cody and I are going to live plural marriage again.

17:10Do you want to watch us drive off and wave?

17:14Yes.

17:15So there's been some conversations about that from family.

17:20Some pressure, a little bit, too.

17:22You know, are you going to live plural marriage again and bring somebody else into the family?

17:27Put your seatbelt on.

17:29And it's a very personal thing, because it's such a big decision.

17:32And I'm not sure what's going to happen.

17:37Jen decided it would be a really good idea to do some practice speed dating.

17:45Hi.

17:46I see your name is Mary.

17:48Wow, that's spelled weird.

17:49My name is Bob.

17:50I spell it with two O's.

17:51Nice to meet you.

17:52Yes, I can.

17:53We'll do a redo.

17:54No, there's no redo.

17:54So we're kind of really celebrating North Carolina and the property, and so everybody's

18:12out.

18:13Aspen and Mitch are here.

18:15Kristin and David are here.

18:16My sister and her husband are here.

18:18Payton is here.

18:19But we're going to also go distance.

18:22Go distance?

18:23Yes.

18:24I can't go distance.

18:25No, we said that it's a race.

18:26Maddie's been actually training to run a marathon.

18:27So I think she was talking about it.

18:29And I think David, in his true fashion, is like, well, I could run a marathon.

18:32He's charming, but he definitely has an ego.

18:34But he's going to pull a hamstring.

18:35Hey, you're an endurance racer.

18:37Kate.

18:38I'm like a cheetah.

18:40Do you think this is like Maddie challenging you?

18:42Do you think this is like a rite of passage?

18:44I don't know if it's a rite of passage.

18:47I think that if it was going to be a shorter distance, David would win.

18:52David is not going to win this.

18:54On your mark.

18:55Get set.

18:56Go!

18:57Go, Maddie!

19:00Maddie!

19:01No, Maddie, you gotta run faster!

19:03What?

19:04Faster, Maddie, faster!

19:05Maddie!

19:06You guys have to win?

19:08Yeah!

19:09Nice, that was fun.

19:12I think David won, though.

19:14That was a bit surprising.

19:15What I love is that you can tell he really loves Christine, and Christine is so happy.

19:20I mean, Cody always had such a big personality and such a big presence, right?

19:23And David is the same.

19:24He's got a big personality.

19:26He's full of bluster.

19:28He's kind of like, I can do it.

19:29I can do it better.

19:31Like, all that.

19:32Like, I mean, he's just, he's just that guy.

19:34I think David's confident.

19:36Cody is very confident as well.

19:38He's confident.

19:39Um, it's funny.

19:41I've always preferred someone who's a little bit, like, very confident.

19:45Do you guys want to see the, um, do you guys want to see the map?

19:49We have an aerial map of the property that we're going to go look at.

19:51I have been here for literally more than a day, and you have not mentioned an aerial map?

19:56I have wanted property, our farm, the rural life, since I was a little kid.

20:04So Maddie, Caleb, and I bought 156 acres in North Carolina about 30 minutes from their existing house.

20:10It's very rural, totally undeveloped, covered with trees.

20:14I gotta unroll it and then roll it the other way.

20:18So we have two projects, really, on this property.

20:20We need to get our houses built, and we need to get the farm area cleared.

20:25Got to have a barn, got to have a place for the chickens, got to have a garden, all that.

20:32So this is where we want to put the flower farm, here.

20:36So where would your home be, and then the business again?

20:39So we're going to put the home here.

20:40This is where it perked for septic.

20:42Okay.

20:43So you're going to have a road.

20:44What are you going to call it?

20:45Like this road.

20:46What are you going to call that road?

20:47Caleb said, why don't we call it Bob Boulevard?

20:49Bob Boulevard.

20:50Bob Boulevard, yeah!

20:51That's funny.

20:52I like that.

20:53That's a good name.

20:54Garrison's first name is Robert.

20:56So he would be referred to as, like, Uncle Bob.

21:00They all have their little nicknames.

21:02Garrison says Bob.

21:03Garrison's always in our thoughts, right?

21:06And we will definitely probably have a part of the flower garden that's really more of a memorial to him and to Bob's Floral, his Hawaiian shirt shop.

21:14We'd like to do a flower garden area, like a monument, like a quiet garden that's, like, dedicated to people who struggle with mental health and lost their battles with mental health.

21:24Yes!

21:25He'll always be here. He will be represented here for sure on this property.

21:29So when we get here and, like, you get checked in and I just, like, you're going to have to totally not sit where I can see you.

21:48I have said for a long time I would really, really, really love to meet somebody organically.

21:52And this is probably almost as organic as I'm going to get.

21:56Salt Lake City speed dating event is where it's at for me.

21:59I might say otherwise at the end of the night, though. We'll see.

22:05You're going to get there in my head.

22:07You're going to, like, sign your name in, get your little name badge.

22:10These guys will just deer in headlights and they're going to have to make you interested enough in a short amount of time to, like, know that this is what you want to do.

22:23So, like, what if they sit down and they don't know what to say?

22:29What if they sit down and they just, like, stare at you?

22:33Jen decided it would be a really good idea to do some practice speed dating.

22:40Hey, Mary. I'm Edward.

22:43Hey, Edward.

22:45See me match?

22:46I did. Yeah, you match that energy and that voice.

22:48I can totally match that energy.

22:50Okay.

22:51Tell me a little about yourself.

22:53I'm 54.

22:54Yeah.

22:55Single.

22:56Ready to mingle?

22:57Ready to mingle.

22:58Like it.

22:59Hi, I see your name is Mary.

23:00Wow, that's spelled weird.

23:01My name is Bob.

23:02I spell it with two O's.

23:06My son.

23:07Hi, boo.

23:12Hi, Mary.

23:13My name is Thomas.

23:15Hi, Thomas.

23:16This is something I've never done before.

23:18What about you?

23:19I've done this a lot.

23:20I'm actually on my fourth wife.

23:21Okay.

23:22Not at the same time.

23:23Oh, hold on.

23:24Uh-huh.

23:25At what point in the conversation do I say, oh, by the way, I have been divorced from

23:33a man who had four wives, but my family has 18 children and I only have one.

23:38Like, would you actually tell somebody on a six-minute date?

23:41I don't know.

23:42That would take up the whole six minutes.

23:44I don't know.

23:45There was a guy that I was talking to.

23:47He found out who I was.

23:49And he was like, I just, I can't.

23:53Like, I can't continue talking to you.

23:57This is not something that I'm even interested in or open to.

24:02And it was very hurtful to me.

24:07Because I was a polygamist, you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

24:17First date is not a, I was a polygamist, third wife.

24:22You know, you don't go into that on a first date.

24:24That's too much information.

24:26That date will be over and you will never get a second date when they're done that.

24:29If I were to ever have another relationship, it's going to be somebody that I know for a while.

24:35And they'll know.

24:36Because, you know, it's not a big, not a big secret.

24:40It was like my first real big realization that that's going to inhibit some people from even wanting to start talking to me.

24:59In my brain, there's something I want maybe more than you do.

25:06But I...

25:07Oh, you're talking about sex?

25:08Yeah.

25:09A polygamist is getting more than he wants.

25:12And a monogamist isn't getting enough.

25:17Won't be really tall grass here in a minute.

25:19We definitely envision this property as a gathering place.

25:24Hopefully we can put some small little cabins eventually for everybody to stay in or whatever.

25:30But in general, we want it to be a gathering place.

25:33I'm doing it.

25:37Janelle would love to have, you know, this be where the whole family gathers.

25:41Absolutely.

25:42I also want my house to be the place where everybody gathers.

25:45Just saying we could have like some sort of a gang war kind of between Janelle and I a little bit.

25:51Like, who's going to get more people?

25:53She's winning right now, by the way.

25:54Sorry.

25:55This is exciting for Maddie, Caleb, and Janelle.

25:58Uh, it seems like a lot of work.

26:00Um, but I am excited for them.

26:04And it's all of their dream.

26:05So it's perfect.

26:06There is nothing in North Carolina that I'm even interested in.

26:11No.

26:12This is raw land.

26:14There's really nothing appealing here.

26:16Christine is not a homesteader.

26:18She just wants to live in her very comfortable house in the suburbs.

26:23Look, I'm not trying to compete about who gathers where the most.

26:27I feel like having a really great place that is big enough to accommodate all of us.

26:33That's the goal, is to find a space that we can all hang out that's big enough, wherever that is.

26:38Woo-hoo!

26:43Cheers to the dream and cowboy him the .

26:46Say cheers to the dream.

26:47Cheers!

26:48We're just going to cowboy this .

26:50It's the attitude of just, we're going to figure it out as we go.

26:52So Steven said we can pile it all up and do, like, big, huge fires.

26:56Oh, yeah.

26:57Like that one over there.

26:58Aspen and I think we should invite all the siblings and recreate that photo of Garrison.

27:01Like with maniacal eyes.

27:03Yes!

27:04Garrison loved fire.

27:11There's this picture.

27:12And they're all kind of around this bonfire.

27:14And there's this Garrison standing in front of it.

27:16And he is just excited.

27:18You can tell on his face.

27:20So I think they're trying to, they were laughing about trying to recreate that one.

27:23Rob and I are going out to dinner tonight.

27:42It's always a good experience for us.

27:45It's always a good time for us to be able to have a conversation and talk.

27:49Will you cut that up for me?

27:50How did you do that?

27:53That's a pretty hard tool.

27:54Let me use your knife because I was licking mine.

27:56All right.

27:57I'm okay with your licking.

27:59Oh, that sounded bad.

28:08I just had a lot of fun with what you just said in my head.

28:11But I want to be a gentleman and not a...

28:13Yeah, I know, right?

28:14Be a gentleman.

28:15Just kidding.

28:18You okay with my licking?

28:20You can lick.

28:21You lick the rest of it.

28:23You're teasing me.

28:24No, no, no.

28:25There's still a little bit right there.

28:30Oh, that's fun to tease you.

28:31You get cute.

28:32You got all shy.

28:33You get shy.

28:34Cody's a lot more showy, even in front of the kids.

28:38And I'm like, whoa.

28:40And I come across sometimes as snobby, but I'm actually just shy.

28:46Yeah.

28:47Um, so a relative asked you if we were still into plural marriage.

28:52Well, just if we were going to live it anymore.

28:55Kind of a thing.

28:56What would you say?

28:57I don't know.

28:58Really?

28:59I don't know.

29:00I wasn't quite sure what to say to him.

29:04I didn't want to speak for you.

29:05I feel like if this is still something that's a part of me, then wouldn't I live it?

29:16Cody and I never chose to live monogamy.

29:20It's definitely not something I ever would have chosen for myself.

29:26You turned down qualified, worthy individuals for marriage because they weren't going to

29:36live plural marriage.

29:37That's true.

29:38I had marriage proposals.

29:40I had people I dated.

29:41I could have lived monogamy just fine.

29:44Just some guys, different men at different times, said, you know, I'd marry you in a heartbeat.

29:51You know, we were friends, you know, a little bit of, uh, you know, like talking and hanging

29:57out and, you know, maybe with our kids together kind of a thing.

30:01And I was just like, well, I plan to live plural marriage.

30:04And, you know, each one of them at different times was like, hmm, that's not something I

30:09want to do.

30:11Like, listen, if I'd have been pursuing you and I didn't have other wives, how would you

30:14have treated it?

30:16I would have said the same thing to you.

30:17I wouldn't have even been open to him.

30:19Do you see a value in it for us and our future in any way?

30:25I don't know what space Robin is in, and I don't know what space we'll be in in two

30:30or three years.

30:33I almost feel like turning the table and saying, well, do you want to get back in plural marriage?

30:40There was somebody who was really supportive and really wanted to work and really wanted

30:44a relationship with me as well as with you, not just you, and then we had a guarantee that

30:51it was going to be okay and it was going to be wonderful and it was going to be what I

30:55always dreamed it was supposed to be.

30:57I think you and I share something very special.

31:10But if it's not duplicatable, it could put us at risk and there is something generally...

31:26You gotta think about this.

31:27Come on, there's something wonderful here, right here.

31:29Well, yeah.

31:30Yeah, there is.

31:31Why would we put that at risk?

31:32Yeah, you're right.

31:33For anything other than...

31:34I guarantee.

31:35And that's the only reason.

31:36It's not possible.

31:37Why would we put that at risk?

31:38Anything other than in my brain, there's something I want maybe more than you do.

31:43What?

31:44What do you mean?

31:45I don't want to talk about that subject.

31:46But I...

31:47Oh, you're talking about sex?

31:48Yeah.

31:49I'm not...

31:50Oh.

31:51My primary motivation, I'm afraid, at this state in my life...

31:52Yeah.

31:53Would be, um...

31:54Yeah, just...

31:55Just how good looking she is.

31:56I'm not kidding.

31:57And that would be the very wrong thing.

31:58I don't want to risk anything other than in my brain.

31:59There's something I want maybe more than you do.

32:00What?

32:01What do you mean?

32:02I don't want to talk about that subject, but I...

32:03Oh, you're talking about sex?

32:04Yeah, I'm not...

32:05Oh.

32:06My primary motivation, I'm afraid, at this state in my life...

32:07Yeah.

32:08Would be, um...

32:09Just how good looking she is.

32:10I...

32:11I'm not kidding.

32:12And that would be the very worst reason.

32:14Well, I'd still want to be able to connect.

32:16But you would...

32:17So...

32:18So...

32:19You don't understand how you're coming across.

32:20I know.

32:21I know.

32:22I'm a guy.

32:23And I don't...

32:24No.

32:25I don't freaking care.

32:26Okay.

32:27You're just kinda being a bit of a pig.

32:28Right now.

32:33I'm being crass here for a reason.

32:35I'm saying, yeah, she looks hot.

32:38And that would make me want to talk to her.

32:41But I'm not interested in marrying her.

32:44Because that won't matter when I'm getting nagged.

32:51For me, I'm like, okay, well, so you have the real relationship with me,

32:55but then she's just, what, a concubine?

32:57Because that's pretty much what that is.

32:58It should be more than that, for sure.

33:00Most women want commitment.

33:02They want love.

33:03They want tenderness.

33:04They want companionship.

33:05They want honesty and depth and emotional intimacy.

33:12You're saying you would never put this at risk.

33:15But you're saying the only reason why you would do it is for...

33:18Is for...

33:20But that's not a good enough reason.

33:22Okay.

33:23Right.

33:24I'm like, whoa.

33:25My point is it's not a good enough reason.

33:29Agreed.

33:30He's always had this surplus, if you will, of intimate relationships.

33:39There's a fear that, like, he doesn't know what to expect as far as monogamy is concerned.

33:47And I'm looking at him going, dude, we've never had trouble here before.

33:52Why would we have trouble now?

33:54A polygamist is getting more than he wants, and a monogamist isn't getting enough.

33:59I don't mean to be salacious here, but we failed already.

34:05We...

34:06It was very, very painful.

34:09So, if I was to ever try this again, she would have to be an absolute diamond.

34:18And I'm not talking about just looks.

34:20I'm talking about the kind of devotion to us, to Robin, that I would never...

34:27And I mean, I'm getting really honest with you here.

34:30Just take the sex out completely.

34:32She would have to adore Robin so much that I would never, ever have to worry about whether

34:39she was competing with Robin for my love and affection.

34:44Right?

34:45And how would it work?

34:46We're not involved in a religion anymore.

34:48Yeah.

34:49That would be a requirement is to have a proper authority to perform the marriage.

34:54It would create a lot of worry and stress for me that the person coming in,

34:59a possible wife coming in would not take it as seriously.

35:03I would be concerned that Cody wouldn't take it as seriously.

35:06I'd just be constantly be worried that it'd just all fall apart and our whole lives would

35:11turn into crap again.

35:13I'm just not interested in having the drama in my life of another woman.

35:26Are you and I enduring our marriage?

35:28No.

35:29No.

35:30I mean, we have our bad days.

35:31Rawr!

35:32Rawr!

35:33You know, our murder face comes out and it's like, stop that!

35:35Okay.

35:36You're okay knowing that all the attention I need...

35:47Those sister witches of yours...

35:49Hey, Cody!

35:51Now I'm a sister witch?

35:53Is that what he said?

35:54Sister witches?

35:55He's getting pretty creative there.

35:57Cody's confidence level comes from calling people names.

36:01I'll own that title.

36:02Absolutely.

36:03I'm a sister witch, you bet.

36:06Are you good being my cheerleader?

36:08You know I am.

36:09Then we're great.

36:10Rooting for you.

36:11The problem I see in plural marriage is that I don't think those two ladies can get along

36:23once I'm in both of their beds.

36:26Robin was welcomed by the family.

36:32And when her and I went on our honeymoon, it felt like it changed.

36:36And it wasn't fair to her.

36:38And I'm not saying it was fair to them.

36:40It's just the lifestyle we all chose.

36:43Deal with it.

36:44Well, we dealt with it.

36:46They're gone.

36:47She's here.

36:48I'm moving on.

36:49I'm a monogamist.

36:50And it pisses me off when people ask me why I want to be a monogamist still.

36:54I said, didn't you see the mess?

36:56I'm done.

36:59Robin, I'm done.

37:02Because the idea of it just breaks my heart.

37:05So it's you and me, baby.

37:07Monogamy, does it work for you?

37:09Will it work for you?

37:12Sounds good.

37:13No, no, no.

37:14No, no, no.

37:15It sounds good.

37:16I'm good.

37:17I'm good.

37:18I'm good.

37:19I'm good.

37:20I'm good.

37:21I'm good.

37:22Okay.

37:23It's a deal.

37:24It's a deal.

37:25Don't.

37:35It is hard to say this.

37:37It is hard.

37:38It was hard when we were there at dinner.

37:41It's hard to say it now.

37:43It's hard to say it.

37:44It goes against some things in me, some, like, deep parts of myself.

37:50And it's a challenge to kind of just really say I'm done with plural marriage.

37:57I don't know.

37:58It's confusing.

37:59And I'm still wondering, still asking those questions, looking for the answers.

38:06You can feel free to have a, grab a coffee or a water and then we'll get started here in like 10 minutes.

38:24Break a leg, bro.

38:25Break a leg, bro.

38:26Break a leg.

38:27You got this.

38:28It's going to be awesome.

38:30The last couple of years, I feel like I've really just kind of embraced, like, let's just do all the things.

38:36Just say yes.

38:38Just do all the things.

38:40Just have fun.

38:41Experience life.

38:42So that's what I'm doing.

38:44Write your date's name on the card and if there's any comments that you want to write about them.

38:50Whatever will help you kind of remember who they are.

38:52I don't know what types of men are going to be here.

38:55I don't know if, you know, they're just, I just have no idea what to expect.

39:07This season on Sister Wives.

39:10I got another one of those emails from some woman asking sort of like to get to know us for the purpose of joining the family.

39:18You and Cody could hang out.

39:23Yeah.

39:33We talked about the spiritual divorce and I think I'm ready.

39:37I love that you're doing this, Janelle.

39:39What's coming for you?

39:45Cody called.

39:46I said that somebody wants a couple pieces of the property.

39:49Does your money ever go into his hands?

39:51It better not go through his hands.

39:53Yeah.

39:54We're going to close on Coyote Pass soon.

39:57This is bullshit.

39:58I'm not selling this land until everything is perfectly fair and we do this the right way.

40:02Sorry.

40:04Stand off at the Coyote Pass final showdown.

40:07I would love healing with Mary.

40:16I would love healing with Janelle.

40:18I would love healing with Christine.

40:20I don't want to talk to Cody ever again.

40:25How much longer until you just realize that he's an ass?

40:30Well, he wants to see me.

40:31I really want to tell him that we'll never be friends.

40:34I wanted to apologize with all my heart.

40:41I said I didn't love you.

40:44That wasn't true.

40:46Is there any part of you that would ever go back to Cody?

40:50I'm not trying to make us back together in any way, Mary.

40:55We are never ever ever getting back together.

41:01Listen, I have this wife.

41:03Her name is Robin.

41:04And she would never let me do anything naughty.

41:08As bad as I want to do it.

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