Gastronauts Season 2 Episode 2

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Transcript

00:00Tonight, three professional chefs compete in custom challenges created by our culinarily clueless comedians.

00:06We, the asteroids, them, the gastronauts!

00:15I'm your host, Jordan Myrick, and tonight in Mission Control, we have Amanda Lee Hancanto.

00:20This food better be the best thing since sliced atoms.

00:23Tommy Boe.

00:24Remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch.

00:27And Angela Giratana.

00:29There's no use in crying over spilled Milky Way.

00:32Mission Control, are you ready to meet your gastronauts?

00:35Please welcome Max Rapoport, a food stylist and owner of Max's Yummy Condiments.

00:41He's a skilled sommelier, so I expect his dishes to have strong notes of victory.

00:45Irene Walton, a chef, host, and internet personality.

00:48You might know her from her focaccia pop-ups, and I can't wait to pop whatever she makes into my mouth today.

00:54And Joy Fowler, a chef and entrepreneur.

00:56She's known for her innovative twists on classic southern dishes.

00:59She often cooks for high-profile athletes and celebrities.

01:02Today, she's cooking for low-profile comedians.

01:05Gastronauts, you're about to enter a space-time continuum of culinary chaos.

01:10But if you succeed, you'll walk away with an actual, literal, real-life piece of the moon.

01:16Lucky.

01:17Gastronauts, this challenge comes from Amanda.

01:19I think food is sexy, but could it be sexier?

01:25I want you to make a dish inspired by your favorite sex position.

01:31This is Freaky Feast.

01:34Meow.

01:35Gastronauts, you will be judged on taste, creativity, and whether or not it's a position I've tried.

01:40Your time starts now!

01:42Do you think they're turned on a little because they're thinking about what they want to do?

01:52I wouldn't ask that.

01:53I think so.

01:54What do we think Max is going for?

01:55Do you think he's going for, like, a little missionary?

01:57I mean, that's pork belly, if I'm not mistaken.

02:00I think one of my favorite parts about this challenge is my mom is not going to be surprised at all.

02:04Uh, I like sex, so this was a, this sounds pretty cool to me.

02:08Somebody's had sex before.

02:10Let's just say I've done that stuff.

02:12I think Irene has to be frying these pickles because she's drying them right now with paper towels.

02:16Okay, so how is a pickle related to a sex position?

02:19That's what I need to know.

02:19I think a pickle could look like a big clitoris, and that's frightening.

02:23Whoa, so clits are frightening from the wrist?

02:25Where is it?

02:26Where is it?

02:26Does anyone actually know?

02:28So right now, I'm getting my noodles cranked up, and then after that, I'm going to start my kale greens.

02:35And my roux for my macaroni and cheese.

02:37They got to be real sexy, baby, because that's the point.

02:40You want it cheesy and...

02:41Joy, you give real sexy.

02:43I'm so jealous.

02:45Shell, can we debate this?

02:46Yeah.

02:46Sex position.

02:47Mm-hmm.

02:48Actual intercourse.

02:49Is that what we're talking about?

02:50I think a sex position is not foreplay.

02:52I knew that.

02:54Amanda, we get it.

02:54You don't know what sex is.

02:56It's okay.

02:57It'll be my first time today.

02:59Cooking and sex, yeah, you got to be good with your hands.

03:02You have to feel.

03:02You have to touch.

03:04Sometimes you have to smell and taste.

03:06Listen.

03:07Does anyone have a position they immediately were like, if I was cooking this challenge, I would do this position?

03:11I feel like a hot dog in a bun.

03:13But what is that position?

03:14I don't know.

03:14It's sex.

03:15Oh, full penetrated.

03:16Or cannoli.

03:17Cream in a hole.

03:18Get in the greens and the chopped turkey and cook it in a turkey broth so it can have a nice flavor.

03:25I think the thing about this challenge that's interesting is that it's supposed to look like your favorite sex position, and I have to remind myself it's not something to eat before sex.

03:34Give me a plate that is the vibe.

03:36Like, to me, like, spaghetti meatballs feels very, like, missionary, fun.

03:40We've known each other a long time.

03:41Yeah.

03:42You can count on it.

03:42Like, Sunday night.

03:44Like, Sunday sauce.

03:45Yeah, you're very Italian.

03:46Sunday sauce.

03:47Very Italian.

03:47You know what I'm going to do?

03:48I'm going to go check in with the chefs, see who's Italian over there.

03:51Okay.

03:51And then I'll bring that information back.

03:53Okay.

03:53Okay, just talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone.

03:55You're okay leaving us alone on your set?

03:57A hundred percent.

03:57No, that's why I have a million camera people watching you.

03:59So, you guys.

04:02Hello, chef.

04:03Hello, Jordan.

04:04Oh, hi, Jordan.

04:04I'm so excited that y'all were down to get sexy for this challenge.

04:08Well, you're here.

04:09How could we not?

04:09Oh, my God.

04:10As you all know, if you've watched this show before, flirting works.

04:13Max, what are you making?

04:14My position is missionary.

04:16Okay.

04:16And let's just say I'm making some beautiful Eastern European, like, medieval monk food.

04:22Oh, like, literal missionaries.

04:24Let's just say I'm using the pun.

04:26Puns are sexy.

04:27That's right.

04:27So, what is the dish itself, then?

04:29So, the dish is going to be some cabbage braised with bacon and shallots.

04:33And then I'm going to be making some sexy porridge, just like those church monks would have.

04:39That classic sexy monk porridge.

04:42I love it.

04:42Okay, well, my nipples are rock hard.

04:44Thank you, Max.

04:45Julie, how are you?

04:46Good.

04:47What are you cooking today?

04:48Okay, so I'm going to do something that signifies a little Southern comfort in the sheet.

04:52I love it.

04:53You wrap it up all together in one, and you stick it in your mouth.

04:56And your thing is Southern food, correct?

04:58Yes, it is.

04:59Where are you from?

05:00I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.

05:01You're from Atlanta.

05:02I'm a peach.

05:03I'm a peach.

05:03All right, we're making a roux over here?

05:05Yes, we are.

05:05Creamy, wet, and moist.

05:07Creamy, wet, and moist.

05:08People don't like the word moist.

05:09Moist is an incredible word.

05:11Start using it.

05:12True.

05:13All right.

05:14I've gotten so many people to have sex with me just by using the word moist.

05:16Using the word moist.

05:17These fried pickles are one of my favorite foods in the entire world, so I'm very excited

05:20to see this here today.

05:20Jordan, I'm curious about your thoughts on chips v. Spears.

05:23Okay, I have maybe one of the most controversial takes in the world.

05:25If you say Spears.

05:27And it's Spears, bitch.

05:28Get the fuck out of here.

05:29I like a Spears.

05:30J-Bones.

05:30I'm interested to see what fried pickles tastes like from an Angeleno.

05:34My mom's from Texas, so I think it counts.

05:35Okay, I'll take it.

05:36And we both have bangs, so I'm feeling good.

05:37God bless.

05:37Okay, all right, y'all.

05:39Call if you need me.

05:40I'm in the other room.

05:41Okay.

05:42Okay, I forgot to ask who is Italian, but they are making a lot of stuff that looks really

05:47good.

05:48Joy's making a mac and cheese.

05:49She said she's going to wrap something up Southern comfort style to shove in our mouths.

05:54I think I'm getting the stretch position.

05:55Big fan of shoving things in my mouth.

05:57I will say Max is doing something comfortable and familiar.

06:01Okay.

06:01I knew it.

06:01That's what we thought.

06:02They were in a long relationship, and then they broke up, and he wants to try to bring

06:07the person back, and you know that sex when it's been a while, and then you try at it

06:11again.

06:11Are you doing okay?

06:12Yeah, I'm doing fine.

06:13Do you read, like, smutty literature?

06:15I was about to tell you.

06:16Can you tell she's in that phase of her life?

06:18Yes.

06:19So, I like a little smoky flavor, so we add a little bit of a liquid smoke.

06:25Not too much.

06:26Just enough to kind of give you the...

06:28On your lips.

06:29Joy is making her mac and cheese using a roux.

06:32I'm not a mac and cheese guy.

06:33I don't know why.

06:33I think because most mac and cheese is like...

06:35What you need to do is you need to go to a nice steakhouse and get their mac and cheese.

06:39You're so right.

06:40You know your stuff.

06:42I'm telling you, if you sit at a bar at a fancy steakhouse with a mac and cheese and

06:47a martini, you will have a husband by the end of the night.

06:50That's so true.

06:51Anyone.

06:51I know where we're going tonight.

06:53All right, Jeff.

06:53You have 10 minutes left.

06:55I think smash burgers are a fun, sexy food because you get to see the way somebody, like,

07:01kind of gets down when they're eating, and I think that's pretty indicative of how they

07:05get down at the place a little.

07:08I am seeing Irene, too.

07:09I thought she was maybe putting fried pickles on a sandwich, but what she's doing is making

07:13smash burgers.

07:15Oh, smash.

07:16Okay.

07:17Smash.

07:18Smash.

07:19Oh, you think it's a scissoring burger?

07:21Yes, a scissoring burger.

07:22You think it's a scissoring burger?

07:23It's a scissoring burger with pickles?

07:25Or fry scissoring or something?

07:27Fry scissoring?

07:28Oh, your burgers look like they're going to be real sexy.

07:30Well, this one sure isn't, but this is kind of like what my first time was like.

07:34Oh, okay.

07:35So we're just going to toss that one away.

07:36There was meat everywhere.

07:38I would love to see a position that I've never even heard of.

07:41That's what I was hoping for.

07:42Yeah.

07:42I mean, you know, you want to talk about sex.

07:44Everyone wants to talk about sex.

07:46I don't think so.

07:47No?

07:48Max is making something with bone broth.

07:51Yes.

07:51Do we think he's making, like, a stew?

07:53I think he could.

07:54Can you make a stew in 30 minutes?

07:55You can make a stew in 30 minutes.

07:56For sure, yeah.

07:57I love a stew.

08:00Yes?

08:00I've never once seen you eat a stew.

08:02That's because we don't have them in Smosh.

08:04You bring a stew food truck over to the office?

08:06You're done shooting.

08:07It's like, stew.

08:08This is my go-to, especially when I do, like, special events.

08:13And I want to make something quick and fast and something that I know the people want.

08:18Wow, these burgers really are getting smashed to hell.

08:21That's a meat pancake.

08:22What is going on here?

08:23Joy is putting the mac and cheese in an egg roll wrapper and deep frying it.

08:27No.

08:28Am I wrong?

08:29No.

08:29I'm right.

08:30I know I'm right.

08:31All right, chefs, you have five minutes.

08:33What I need from this egg roll, my only fear, I need it to get really crispy.

08:38I'm a crispy.

08:39I'm a crispy.

08:39And that's a time thing.

08:40It can't be too soft with the soft inside.

08:49Got to be honest, don't care about cheese.

08:50Boo!

08:51I know.

08:52Everybody, crew!

08:53Boo!

08:54I know.

08:55I know.

08:56So that hurt.

08:57Well, it should have hurt.

08:58What's going on?

09:00I don't know.

09:00Cheese is the perfect complement to a burger.

09:03Cheese is like a coat that it wears.

09:06All right, chef, you have one minute left.

09:08One minute?

09:08Wait a second.

09:09Did she even fry that egg roll?

09:12She has to.

09:12She's doing it right now.

09:13We are getting sour cream, like you were saying.

09:15It's a European.

09:15We're getting sour cream.

09:16These look so good.

09:17I'm so excited.

09:19All right, let's count them in.

09:21Ready?

09:21Yes.

09:2210, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

09:33And chefs, put your final touches on your dishes and get your hands up in the air or

09:38on your boobs, whatever you prefer.

09:40Woo!

09:42Amanda, are you ready to learn what happens when two people love each other very much?

09:46Yeah.

09:47All right.

09:47Yeah, I'm ready.

09:49I don't know what that is yet.

09:50I don't know what that is.

09:50Come with me.

09:51Come with me.

09:53Gastronauts, your challenge was to recreate your favorite sex position in edible form.

09:57Max, let's start with you.

09:58All right.

09:59You guys like missionary?

10:01Yeah.

10:02Yeah, actually.

10:03I do.

10:04What we have here is a vaguely Eastern European monk church kind of food.

10:10I made some gruel for you with some brown butter and lemon and some chicken stock.

10:15Max!

10:16And then I made some braised cabbage with bacon lardons, caraway, some shallots, vinegar,

10:23sugar, and then of course a graga mulled wine, just like the damn monks used to make.

10:28Why is the gruel so good?

10:30Because everyone loves gruel.

10:32Gruel.

10:32What is in a gruel?

10:34A gruel?

10:34Don't know that.

10:35This is cream of wheat.

10:36Why does it taste so good?

10:37So it's chicken stock.

10:39Yeah.

10:39You know, the cream of wheat, brown butter, lemon zest, a little dollop of sour cream on top.

10:45Much like missionary, you think it doesn't look like missionary, you think it doesn't look

10:47like much, and then...

10:48No, and then you're like, I'm home.

10:50I am home.

10:51And then suddenly your girlfriend's...

10:54Never mind.

10:54Wow!

10:55This is so delicious.

10:58It's so comforting.

11:00It's so missionary.

11:01I do want to know, were you inspired by the wordplay, or is missionary truly your favorite

11:05position?

11:06Well, it is a great position, and people are like, oh, that's so basic, but we have some

11:10basic food in front of us right now, and we're loving it.

11:12I think it's absolutely delicious, and I have a new take on the missionary position.

11:18Max, thank you so much.

11:19Well done, Max.

11:20Good job.

11:21I really feel the love here.

11:22We clap.

11:23All right, Irene, you're up next.

11:26What I have made for y'all today is a smash burger.

11:29There are two burgers smashing in the sheets of parchment paper.

11:33So this is in defense of like a fast, dirty quickie, where like clothes are still on, and

11:39it's slippery, and it's dirty, and there's some pickles for some reason.

11:44Are they doing missionary, or are they doing doggie style, or is this one eating this one

11:48out?

11:49They're doing the like, I'm laying on my stomach, he's on top, behind me situation.

11:53Oh my God, these burgers have really become one.

11:56I guess I'll give this to you and talk it all over.

11:58Yes!

11:59It should.

12:00Wow.

12:00Oh, look at her.

12:02Is this a first date, or a second date, or it's just like, we just met?

12:05This is just like friends hanging out.

12:06Honey, they aren't friends.

12:08We were talking about how much we love cheese on burgers, and boy, did you deliver.

12:13I just think American cheese on a burger is like what deserves to be on it.

12:17Earlier, I had said that I'm not a huge cheese fan.

12:19I like cheese, it's fine, but I said a burger can exist without cheese.

12:21I am wrong.

12:22Well, I certainly feel like I've just been fucked.

12:25Yes!

12:26Smash in the sheet.

12:27Irene, truly incredible job.

12:29Thank you so much.

12:31Joy, you're up next.

12:34There it is.

12:35No!

12:35Joy.

12:36It's one big one.

12:38So I call that the Southern Comfort Roll.

12:40Basically, you just put it in your mouth, and then you have the inside of the macaroni and

12:46cheese, really smoky, and you have kale grains with smoked turkey, and you have a dollop of

12:52some chili sauce on top.

12:54So it's supposed to signify, you know, the obvious, and just being wrapped up in one altogether.

13:00Can I pitch a crazy thing?

13:02What if we all had a bite of it at the same time?

13:04Okay.

13:05Okay.

13:07All right.

13:07We'll all be probably kissing a little.

13:09Ready?

13:09Everyone pick a side.

13:11All right.

13:11Hold on.

13:11All right.

13:12Get in here.

13:12I'm going to need to...

13:13Okay.

13:13Hold it so that I can have...

13:14Yeah.

13:14I can't...

13:15They're going so much...

13:18Yum!

13:18Someone always has to watch.

13:20Now, Joy, I do want to know, what sex position is this?

13:23Well, you can think of it as fellatio.

13:25Okay.

13:26I was going to say.

13:27That's the one.

13:28What is signifying going in your mouth?

13:30And did you ever think you would be explaining fellatio on a cooking show?

13:33Absolutely not.

13:34Sorry, Dad.

13:35Wow.

13:35I have to tell y'all right now, this might be the strongest three dishes in a row I've

13:40ever had on this show.

13:41Whoa!

13:41What?

13:42I am so excited for round two.

13:44Get out of my sight and go cook us more food!

13:47Yay!

13:48Bye!

13:50Incredible.

13:51Wow.

13:52Like, what?

13:53Okay, I thought that was unbelievable.

13:56My God.

13:57How are all three so good?

13:58I was so into all of them.

14:01They gave me a different vibe, all three of them.

14:03We did the foreplay.

14:04Yeah, we did the foreplay.

14:05And we went over there in climax.

14:06I love that.

14:07I'm going to think about that now every time I'm sitting in this seat.

14:09Thank you so much.

14:10You know what we didn't have, though?

14:11What?

14:12Okay.

14:13No scissoring.

14:13And we have two challenges left.

14:15Tommy, are you ready to present your challenge?

14:17I sure am.

14:18Gastronauts, we have your next challenge, and it comes from Tommy.

14:21I've always been curious, why can you eat so much of animals but not the bones?

14:25Today, I'm challenging you to make a meal of edible bones or bone-themed foods to fulfill

14:29my bone-eating desires.

14:31I'm thinking, you are what you eat, but what if you eat what you are?

14:34This is All Bones About It.

14:37Oh, my God.

14:39Gastronauts, you will be judged on taste and bonafide creativity.

14:43You have 30 minutes, starting now!

14:46Now!

14:51There's so much that could happen here.

14:54I thought about this.

14:54Yeah, I know.

14:55I didn't just write up a little email with funny things.

14:57I thought about this.

14:58Okay.

14:59Dogs can eat bones, but they take a long time.

15:01They go, gank, gank, we can't do that.

15:02You got, like, the marrow.

15:03You could do something with that.

15:04Or, like, you could make something that looks like a bone but isn't a bone.

15:07Oh, that's fun.

15:08I see the grating of Parmesan cheese, the crushing of garlic, and then the seasoning of meat.

15:13And I like all three of those things.

15:14Oh, my God.

15:14And I'm a garlic guy.

15:15I want as much garlic as a garlic guy, but I love...

15:19Right now, I'm using raw garlic, so you have to be judicious.

15:23You can't be too crazy or else you're going to get too much of the spiciness and not, you know, and it's going to overwhelm.

15:31So, you know, there's a balance.

15:33You guys remember when we almost all kissed, but we had macaroni instead?

15:36It was awesome.

15:37Maybe you could do that with a bone.

15:38So, I'm doing, like, a Caesar salad dip with the bones of the anchovy being the edible bone,

15:49and then I'm also doing the ribs of the romaine as, like, the dipping chips.

15:53I'm guessing that Irene is doing a Caesar salad because I saw a fine grating of Parmesan cheese,

15:58and now I'm seeing a head of romaine lettuce.

16:00How do you think that could relate to bone?

16:01Oh, anchovies!

16:03Bones!

16:06Yes!

16:07Bones!

16:07Yes!

16:08Yes!

16:08So, I'm going to go check out what the chefs have going on.

16:12Go to Chives in.

16:12I'm going to see how they're going, and I'll be back!

16:14All right, good luck, man!

16:15Okay, we'll miss you!

16:16Camera guy, you got to get in the mortar.

16:22Okay, mortar and pestle!

16:24What do we got going on over here, Max?

16:26So, I'm making a little Thai seafood sauce to go with some whole fried smelt.

16:31This smells fantastic!

16:34Are you familiar with these flavor profiles?

16:36For sure.

16:36What kind of cuisine did you grow up eating?

16:38My family did not cook growing up, so we were eating steak and potatoes, and I definitely

16:44had to teach myself a lot, and, you know, good old YouTube and Food Network.

16:48Who's your, like, OG Food Network star that you love the most?

16:51It's got to be Emeril Lagasse.

16:53I love that.

16:53Can we all just get a bam really quickly?

16:56Three, two, one.

16:57Bam!

16:58Emeril, please come on the show.

17:00I really think you'd have fun.

17:02We could talk about eggplant pirro or something very New Orleans.

17:05All right, we're doing Caesar salad.

17:07Well, we're doing Caesar dip.

17:08Dip?

17:09It's just Caesar dressing, but you're going to dip the fucking lettuce in.

17:12I love dip.

17:13And so we're doing Caesar because it's got the anchovy fillets in there, so it's edible bones.

17:18And then we're going to do the rib of the romaine, the idea of a bone.

17:21That's edible bone.

17:22Of course.

17:23All right, Joy, oxy mushrooms, one of my favorite ingredients of all time.

17:27Yes, so for today, I'm going to do a bone thug ramen.

17:32I love that.

17:33That's so creative.

17:34So we're going to have edible bones.

17:35Okay.

17:36I'm using bone broth for my ramen.

17:37Yum.

17:37I'm going to have some flank steak with the mushrooms, the onions, the flavoring, the egg.

17:43Hey, hey, hey.

17:44You know, at this point, we should be in a group.

17:45Okay, okay.

17:46You and I start just to wrap duo together.

17:49Well, none of you have led me astray so far.

17:52I have been so happy with everything you've done.

17:55So I'm just going to let you keep doing it.

17:57Good.

17:57And I'll see y'all in a little bit.

17:59I'm really excited.

18:00We'll miss you, Jordan.

18:01I'm going to act asleep.

18:04Are you guys pretending to be asleep, seriously?

18:06Yeah.

18:06No.

18:07What?

18:08No.

18:08Did you guys fall asleep while I was gone?

18:10There's no bones about it.

18:11We weren't falling asleep.

18:12Does that pun work?

18:13What are they making?

18:14Max is doing whole fish eyes and all.

18:17We're intended to eat the entire thing tip to tail.

18:21Irene is doing a dip.

18:23And for her bones, she has anchovies with the bones in and the dressing.

18:27And let's talk about our big slab of meat.

18:29She is making a bone ramen.

18:34No!

18:35It seems like the ramen is Bone Thugs and Harmony themed, which is very fun.

18:39Stop.

18:39It's over for all of them except Joy.

18:41I do see Joy doing a boiled egg, it seems.

18:44And I love a ramen with a soft boiled egg.

18:47Yum.

18:47All right, chefs, you have 10 minutes left.

18:54We're already at 10 minutes.

18:55Time flies when you're having fun.

18:57It's crazy what they're doing, like, that they can make these meals in 30 minutes.

19:00I think that's unbelievable.

19:01I love a lot of fish.

19:08Anchovies.

19:09I don't know if I've ever had one I liked.

19:11I like that.

19:12Do you like Caesar salad?

19:14Yes.

19:14And that almost always has anchovy in it.

19:17Yes, exactly.

19:17So I think that's all it'll be.

19:18I think there'll be anchovies in the Caesar salad dressing.

19:21And then the fish that we're eating are not anchovies.

19:23But I'm saying, like, there's another challenge within the challenge, which is, could my mind be changed about anchovies?

19:28Oh, okay.

19:28I think maybe today's the day.

19:30I think you would like anchovies.

19:31Anchovies.

19:33Anchovies.

19:34Anchovies.

19:34You would like anchovies.

19:35I do need to point out that Max is cutting fish with scissors.

19:40Scissoring!

19:42It happened!

19:43Done.

19:44There we go.

19:45And he's scissoring fish.

19:46There we go.

19:46Perfect.

19:49We better keep an eye on this because this is going to be a battle.

19:55To be a bone.

19:56To be awesome.

19:57To be awesome.

19:57I think that we all need to make sure that we give a good bone voyage to each other.

20:02Okay, good.

20:03Now it feels like you just throw them all out.

20:05That's good.

20:06I think the situation is quite humorous.

20:09I'm loving that you stay frozen in between each one.

20:13Humorous.

20:13That they're being fed to me throughout your piece.

20:15Okay, ready?

20:16I'm going to try one.

20:16You got one?

20:17You got one?

20:17Okay, let's hear it.

20:18Let's hear it.

20:19Uh-oh.

20:20No, come on, bud.

20:21You got it.

20:22You got it.

20:23Ready?

20:24Hope you guys are doing well.

20:25Make sure no one gets a boner.

20:25That isn't a pun.

20:31All right, chefs.

20:32You have five minutes left.

20:34I love all these little fried fish.

20:36Look at them.

20:36I will say Max is trying to fry a lot of stuff, which will drop the temperature of your oil,

20:42making things not as crispy as it needs to be.

20:45Oh, the more you fry, it drops the temp?

20:46So every time you put something in it, because it's cooler than the temperature of the oil,

20:50it'll bring the temperature down a little bit.

20:52What's being put on top of...

20:53Oh, those are little mushrooms.

20:54What is this?

20:54Mushrooms on top of pasta?

20:56Holy shit.

20:57The ramen, the ramen.

20:58There's mushrooms on the ramen.

21:03Two minutes, chefs.

21:05They seem pretty calm and collected.

21:06I think it's going to be good.

21:08I think it will be good.

21:09He's just chilling out right now.

21:09Max is having a great time.

21:10He's in his own little space.

21:11He seems zen.

21:13He really does.

21:16All right, chefs.

21:17You have one minute left.

21:20What's in the oven?

21:21What's in there?

21:21Listen, it's not good to have something in the oven with one minute left.

21:24I'll tell you that much.

21:24No, that usually means it's not going to be cooked all the way.

21:27Oh, and Max is trying to go...

21:28Oh, is Max trying to go back into the fryer?

21:30I think that's a bad idea.

21:32Okay, that is bad.

21:33Can I give them a bonus minute?

21:34Can I take a minute off?

21:35Bonus!

21:35Say it!

21:36Minute!

21:36Can I give them a bonus minute?

21:38Say it.

21:38Bone-ness minute.

21:41And no, we only have 30 seconds left.

21:42Chefs, we have 30 seconds left.

21:48Hey, I just want you to know that we're really proud of you.

21:51All right, time to count them in.

21:53Ten!

21:54Nine!

21:55Eight!

21:56Seven!

21:57Six!

21:57Let's say bonus.

21:58Five!

21:59Four!

21:59Three!

22:00Two!

22:01Bone!

22:02Bone!

22:03Hands up, bones down, except for the ones in your hands.

22:06Put those up.

22:07Well, I appreciate that all of y'all have flexed or funny bones with me.

22:10Let's go eat some bones in the dining pod.

22:13Yee-hee!

22:13Absolutely.

22:13All right, come on.

22:15Let's go.

22:17Gastronauts, your challenge was to create a bone-anza for Tommy.

22:22Let's see what you've made.

22:23Joy, you're first.

22:25So today I have a bone-thug ramen.

22:29So I have bone broth in there, some nori, flank steak, ramen, green onions, miso, and boiled egg.

22:40And then that little bone-shaped puff pastry, it's supposed to be a nod to the bone and the bone broth that comes inside the ramen.

22:48It's such a good...

22:49It's a crossroads.

22:50Yes.

22:50You done?

22:52I was skeptical of a puff pastry bone in ramen.

22:56Mm-hmm.

22:57No.

22:57You were right, and I was wrong.

22:59Oh, thank you.

22:59This is unbelievable that you did this in 30 minutes.

23:01Yeah.

23:01Yes.

23:02Yes, it is.

23:04Joy says, uh-huh.

23:05Yes, it is.

23:05Well, it is, Tommy.

23:06What an incredibly deep and delicious flavor in this dish.

23:11Bone Thugs-N-Harmony would be extremely proud of you, Joy.

23:13Absolutely.

23:14Truly.

23:15All right.

23:16Max, what have you created today?

23:18I have some salt and pepper smelt for you.

23:21So this is crispy smelt that's fried in some all-purpose flour with a Thai seafood sauce with mortared Thai chili, lemongrass, makrut lime, fish sauce.

23:32And then I got some bone powder on the side, but it's just toasted rice powder and white pepper.

23:39These are bones, brains, gills, tail, head, eyes.

23:42Whoa, everybody can say brain.

23:42All that's very terrifying.

23:44I like that.

23:45It's delicious.

23:46Sell that sauce.

23:48Whoa.

23:49Sell the sauce.

23:49Sell that sauce.

23:50Sell that sauce.

23:52I could drink that sauce with a spoon.

23:55It is so spicy and delicious.

23:57So delicious.

23:58Spicy.

23:58Bright.

23:58Really spicy.

23:59Oh, so bright.

24:00I love it.

24:00Wow.

24:01Look at this.

24:01This was so good.

24:03Now, I do want to know, how does everyone feel eating the bones?

24:06You don't always eat bones.

24:07Tommy, that's specifically what this challenge was.

24:09How are you feeling?

24:09Seeing it like this is terrifying, but I will say, I can't tell when I'm eating it.

24:12I'm not going to do the eyes, but I appreciate you.

24:15My only critique, I wish the fish were a little crispier.

24:19And I think you know that.

24:21I know that.

24:21But that being said, I mean, for not crispy fish, that's really delicious.

24:25It's so good.

24:25Truly.

24:26At the end of the day, all that matters is the sauce.

24:28And that's why you're absolutely covered in it.

24:30Woo!

24:31All right, Max, thank you so much.

24:33That was simply delicious.

24:35Irene, what do you have for us?

24:37So we have a Caesar dressing dip with romaine ribs.

24:40Wow!

24:42So the Caesar dressing is going to have the anchovy fillets in it, which, much like Max's,

24:47are going to have the edible fish bones that are so fine that they kind of just melt right

24:51in.

24:52And I thought the romaine ribs would be fun.

24:54I love Caesar.

24:55It's Caesar salad, but chips.

24:56I think it's despicable that we're not eating salad dressing like this more regularly.

25:00You're revolutionizing what salad can be.

25:02Salad for teenage boys.

25:04And that's exactly right.

25:06That's how you market it.

25:07Salad for this sauce!

25:09I just love those Parmesan crisps.

25:11They remind me of, like, I grew up eating these cheese straws that are really popular

25:14in the South.

25:15I don't know if anyone else has had them.

25:17I think this is great.

25:18Tommy, do we feel like this is giving bone?

25:21It's giving, like, essence of bone.

25:23It's giving thought of bone.

25:24Okay.

25:25It's giving, I go, and bone's there, you know?

25:28If it's explained to you, it's giving bone.

25:30Correct.

25:30Okay, we need to take all of this back to the bridge and de-bone this conversation.

25:35We've got to bone it out on the bridge.

25:36See, you nailed that.

25:37All right, chefs, once again, a phenomenal round.

25:40Get out of my sight and go cook it up the round!

25:45Well, I think that was a bona fide delight.

25:47That was really good.

25:48I was eating that spine, and you held it up for us.

25:51You know, I thought I'd be scared of that, but I wasn't.

25:53I do have a small fish bone in my throat.

25:56I'm just a little...

25:57I just absolutely guzzled Fresca during the intermission, hoping that it would go down, but...

26:03A good guzzle will get a bone down.

26:05Buzz date!

26:06I messed this up for doing the sex thing first.

26:09Okay, Angela, are you ready to present your challenge?

26:13Gastronauts, your third and final challenge comes from Angela.

26:17Chefs, I regularly spill food on my clothes, which makes them look bad.

26:21So, I've been trying to figure out a way to make my meals look more fashionable.

26:25I'm challenging you guys to make edible jewelry that serves as my favorite food, a charcuterie board.

26:32This is char-jewelry board.

26:36Chefs, you are required to make a full charcuterie board in the form of jewelry for Angela to wear.

26:42You'll be judged on taste, presentation, and whether or not it meets...

26:48And cheeses our expectations.

26:49Wow.

26:50Your time starts...

26:54Now!

27:02You've always wanted to wear salami, and now's your time.

27:04I...

27:04This girl could, like, live only on salami.

27:07I want to know what is on a charcuterie board to you.

27:11All it has to have, Jordan, are rivers and islands.

27:14And I think I know what you mean, and I think I know what you mean, but I'd love to hear you say more about that.

27:17I want there to be a line that swivels like a river and islands of sauces and maybe seeds.

27:28A board could just be crackers and then bowls of seeds, and you would consider it a charcuterie board?

27:34I'd say that's a really shitty charcuterie board.

27:36But it is a charcuterie board.

27:37And that's a charcuterie board.

27:38Okay, all right.

27:39Hey, if you like it, I love it.

27:40Are you guys charcuterie fans?

27:42Hell yeah.

27:43Yes, who doesn't love a cute charcuterie?

27:46I like meat.

27:47I like cheese.

27:48I'm excited to see what jewelry they make.

27:50I am a huge earring wearer.

27:53There's, like, candy bracelets and candy necklaces.

27:56Sure.

27:56Let's do it with salami.

27:58You love salami.

27:59I'm obsessed with salami.

28:02Max, do you know a lot about jewelry?

28:04Are you, like, a big jewelry guy?

28:06I am wearing my dead grandpa's gold chain, so, yeah.

28:10I'm seeing blue cheese already.

28:12Ooh, I love a smelly cheese.

28:13I love blue cheese.

28:14Oh, my gosh.

28:14Olives?

28:15I love olives on T-shirts.

28:17Wait, you love olives on T-shirts?

28:18Like, like, art, right?

28:19Like, you have egg art on your ear.

28:21Okay, yes.

28:22You know what I mean?

28:22I am wearing double-edged earrings.

28:23Like, that's not really an egg, right?

28:25That's art of an egg.

28:26It's art of an egg.

28:26Who let you out of the house?

28:29I'm going to go check in with the chefs and see if any of them are doing art.

28:32And will you tell them, sorry?

28:33Why?

28:34I think they're better than this.

28:35I think you're better than that.

28:37Yeah.

28:38All right?

28:38This is a great challenge.

28:39There's nothing wrong with this challenge.

28:40Angela, I love this challenge.

28:42Okay.

28:43This is the quietest I've heard any of you freaks.

28:46What's going on?

28:47Hyper-focus?

28:48Hyper-focus.

28:48Does this challenge feel harder?

28:50I think it was just the least, I was not expecting it the most.

28:54Okay, it was the biggest loop.

28:56What do we got going on over here?

28:57This is provolone?

28:58This is actually puff pastry.

29:00I'm making a little point to a crown.

29:02Oh, a crown is jewelry?

29:03That's right.

29:04Okay, that makes sense.

29:05Wow.

29:05A tiara.

29:06Okay, because a crown is jewelry and not a hat, you're saying?

29:09For sure.

29:10I don't know.

29:10There's gems and jewels.

29:11You want olive before I get my cheese and hands all in there?

29:13And that's what you knew.

29:15I wish you could go to a bar and just order a martini glass full of blue cheese stuffed olives.

29:20I think that would be sick, and I think that could be your new concept.

29:22I understand.

29:23You know, I also want a little piece of blue cheese.

29:24Get in there, mama.

29:24I'm sorry.

29:24That's just my truth.

29:25I'm sorry I didn't ask.

29:26No, you're doing a great job.

29:29Joy, are we going sweet?

29:31Yes, we're going sweet.

29:33We're going salty.

29:34We're going savory.

29:35We're going to go all the places I can take your mouth, you know?

29:38Joy, this looks absolutely delicious.

29:40Pistachios are one of my favorite ingredients in the world.

29:42Okay.

29:43I'm going to let y'all get back to what you're doing.

29:45I'm really excited.

29:46Everything looks really good.

29:47And if you need me, I am in the other room.

29:51Like pants?

29:53Yep.

29:53We saw you ate an olive.

29:54I did.

29:55I ate an olive and a little bit of blue cheese.

29:56What's going on in there?

29:57We got two savories.

30:00One sweet.

30:01And joy is sweet.

30:02Joy is sweet.

30:03What I will say as a judge is when I'm trying this, it already has to be jewelry.

30:07We know it's going to be sweet.

30:08I'm like, what's the charcuterie element?

30:10Exactly.

30:10I want to see it.

30:11I want to experience it.

30:12I want to be like, oh, this is just like charcuterie, but it's sweet.

30:15And on me.

30:16And on me.

30:17On Angela.

30:17And we're going to eat it off you.

30:18Yeah.

30:19So in here I have a little sugar and almond paste.

30:23And I'm going to add in some almond flour, eggs, some nuts, and then we're going to make

30:28a dough.

30:28And I'm just going to make some almond horns with that.

30:32Oh my gosh.

30:32Irene's making a rose with the salami.

30:35You put it around the cup.

30:36That's a classic charcuterie board thing.

30:37Yeah, but where's it going on in your body?

30:39I don't know.

30:40Let her cook.

30:41Look at it, Mac.

30:41Oh, we've got a thread.

30:42I think he's doing it to pre-say.

30:44Oh my gosh.

30:45Is that mochile?

30:46He's got mochile.

30:47It's mochile as a pearl.

30:48Well, okay, how are we feeling about time?

30:51Because if I'm being honest, I'll be vulnerable.

30:52I'll be brave.

30:53I'm not feeling good.

30:55I'm scared.

30:56Well, yeah, you're making a pre-say necklace.

30:59What the hell?

31:00Oh my God.

31:01This is a necklace.

31:03That looks like a necklace.

31:04Yeah.

31:05Wow.

31:06But here's the tricky part.

31:06Okay, where's the beginning of the balsamic?

31:08Maybe there'll be a little thing for you to like lean into.

31:10And dip it a little.

31:12A little like.

31:13Into a.

31:13Yeah, you go like this.

31:14And yeah.

31:17I want to know what joy is molding.

31:19It seems like there's sliced almonds in it.

31:21And it's a donut shape.

31:23But it doesn't look like donut dough to me.

31:26That's a bangle, maybe.

31:27You have a melon entering the chat, which is kind of classic.

31:29I'm assuming we're going to maybe see some prosciutto.

31:31The way that Irene is slicing that melon,

31:35I don't think you would slice that melon that way

31:38if you weren't going to use it in that shape.

31:40In that shape.

31:41Max told me he's making a tiara.

31:42Oh, okay.

31:44So you're going to put cheese on your head.

31:47Angela?

31:48You okay?

31:48My face when someone's making me a tiara made of salami?

31:52That's a meme.

31:53Do the face.

31:53Do the face so we can clip it.

31:55And then they'll put my face when someone's making me a tiara out of salami.

31:59All right, chefs, you have ten minutes left.

32:01Originally, I was going to try to do three pieces.

32:04But the way it's looking, she's giving two.

32:07But your wrist couldn't fit in that.

32:09Oh, no.

32:09No, that's that.

32:11You know what?

32:11I don't think it's a bangle.

32:12I don't know what that is.

32:13Maybe it's a big, big charm.

32:15Guys, they got me really fancy salami.

32:17So if anyone needs a snack.

32:19Oh, give me a bite.

32:20I mean, literally.

32:22Yum.

32:24Oh, look at that.

32:26Oh, that's sweet.

32:27Hey, guys, that was really sweet.

32:28That was really cute.

32:28That was so cute and sweet.

32:30Oh, I'm hearing that maybe the salami is on an earring backing.

32:32Max just took something out that looks great, looks big.

32:39This might be his tiara.

32:41I think the biggest thing about this challenge is making sure that whatever you're doing doesn't break before it gets to the judges' table.

32:47Yeah.

32:48Absolutely.

32:48And I think you have to wear it, like, for the night and see how long it lasts.

32:52Yeah, you should take it out when we eat.

32:53That's not a part of the challenge, Amanda.

32:54I didn't change your challenge.

32:55Chefs, you have five minutes left.

32:58Oh!

32:59Look at Max.

33:00We're doing an olive necklace.

33:02I love this.

33:02Oh, my God.

33:03Do you think everything needs to taste good together?

33:06I was about to ask you that.

33:07If we're not judging them based off of the together taste, then what did they do?

33:12I think that some of the elements have to work together, but not all of them do.

33:16And I think that they should all be kind of cohesive.

33:19Like, maybe they're all from similar regions of the world.

33:22Yeah, I love that.

33:22Or they're all similar.

33:23Love that.

33:24Like, you know, like something that makes it cohesive.

33:27Yeah.

33:27But I don't need, like, an olive to taste good dipped in jam.

33:31But I want, like, some of the meat and a cracker to taste good dipped in jam.

33:34100%.

33:34So it's, like, as if it's all from the same board.

33:37All right, chefs, you have one minute left.

33:41Oh, gosh.

33:42Oh, my God.

33:43Oh, my God.

33:44I really still have no clue what's happening with Joy.

33:46I'm seeing what she's doing, and I've spoken to her about it.

33:49And still, not one singular clue.

33:52And that's awesome.

33:54If she thinks I'm going to put that melon on my head, she's right.

33:57All right, chefs, you have 30 seconds left.

34:03What is she going to do with that rose?

34:04It looks like she's making a sailor's hat, almost.

34:07Or, like, one of those little Krispy Kreme hats.

34:09Yeah, so, like, a little, like, yeah.

34:10That's a brooch.

34:12I'll tell you what.

34:13That's a brooch if you try hard enough.

34:16All right, are you ready to count them down?

34:18Yeah.

34:18Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

34:30Chefs, hands up, jewelry on, breakfast at Tiffany's.

34:35Crazy.

34:38Angela, are you ready to get all dolled up?

34:41Yes.

34:42All right, let's go.

34:44Okay.

34:45I'm so excited.

34:47Gastronauts, your challenge was to make an edible, wearable charcuterie board for Angela.

34:52Irene, what have you made for us?

34:54Judges, I have made a blue cheese stuffed olive necklace with a salami rose brooch and a prosciutto-wrapped melon bangle.

35:06Irene, will you come...

35:07Munga.

35:08...place these on Angela the way they're supposed to be worn?

35:11Are we sure about the white shirt?

35:14Blue cheese is white.

35:15The salami brooch, you really have to kind of want it to be a brooch.

35:18Oh, okay.

35:20That's gorgeous.

35:21And may I have your wrist smelly?

35:24Yes.

35:25Okay, gorgeous.

35:26Oh.

35:27Good.

35:27I'm sorry.

35:28You're jealous as hell.

35:29Look at that.

35:29All righty.

35:30So you're going with the white shirt.

35:32And you're still going with this?

35:33Yes.

35:34Tank top's washed.

35:35Oh.

35:35Oh, you can leave it right there.

35:39No, that's actually beautiful.

35:40No, that's...

35:41I think that's how it should be.

35:42That's stunning.

35:43Thank you, Irene.

35:44Wow.

35:46This looks absolutely beautiful on you.

35:49And how's the salami, Angela?

35:51Yeah.

35:53Perfectly salami.

35:54Can I take a bite of your bracelet?

35:55Please.

35:56Oh, look.

35:59I would love an olive off your head.

36:02You can look at my jewels.

36:03Thank you so much.

36:04It's like a take on the, like, edible candy necklace, but, like, a dull version.

36:08No, I love that.

36:08And that's what I'm thinking, too.

36:09I will say, I am missing some elements of a classic charcuterie board.

36:13Of course.

36:13I'm missing a cracker.

36:15I'm missing some kind of jam or sauce.

36:18I could use a little more cheese.

36:19I'd argue most elements of a charcuterie board are missing.

36:22I didn't want to say it, and I'm glad you didn't.

36:24But what's there is cheese and meat, which is fun.

36:28I also like that you made so many different elements.

36:31You certainly didn't have to, and I think that's fun and ambitious.

36:35And all of them, a little bad.

36:37Do you feel like this fulfilled your challenge, Angela?

36:39I think you did an incredible job.

36:40All right, Irene, incredible job.

36:42Hold on.

36:42Thank you, thank you, thank you.

36:43There's no way I want my wrists to smell other than melon and prosciutto.

36:46All right, Joy, what did you make for this challenge?

36:49So here we have some almond horn earrings sprinkled in a little sparkly dough.

36:54And we have a salami and prosciutto, grape, blue cheese, and cheddar bracelet to go with the earring.

37:04Get your hand in there, Angela.

37:06It's flinging bites.

37:08Oh.

37:10That's okay, that's okay.

37:12Beautiful.

37:13Gorgeous.

37:13So this is like the board, and then this is a little afterboard treat.

37:16Correct.

37:16And so you have some sweet, you have some savory, and so those are the earrings.

37:21Yeah, we got to put these on her.

37:22I didn't realize that these had little earring clips on them.

37:25Oh, my God.

37:25Whoa, whoa, whoa.

37:26Hey, hey, I'll just give you a second hole.

37:28And this is something that you baked from scratch.

37:31Yes.

37:31You feel good about this?

37:33I'm obsessed.

37:34Okay, all right.

37:36Okay, the jewelry element of it is, you know what, not perfectly holding up.

37:40There we go.

37:42Oh, that's yum.

37:42It's just so robustly full of nuts.

37:45You have the sliced almonds, you have the pistachios.

37:48I get a nice almond extract flavor that's almost a little, like, cherry-ish.

37:52Yes.

37:53It's really nice.

37:54I like its gooeyness.

37:55I'm a fan of the goo.

37:56I feel like a princess.

37:58Chefs, how do we feel about this challenge?

38:00Difficult.

38:00This was hard.

38:01For sure.

38:02It was a challenge in every sense of the word.

38:05Definitely a lot of detailed work that's hard to do under pressure.

38:09Okay, well, I'm excited to see what you were able to do under pressure.

38:13Max, what do you have for us today?

38:15So I have the salami and olive antipasto earrings.

38:19To go along, I got the caprese necklace with some bread, some tomatoes, basil, and the bocancini

38:25mozzarella.

38:26And then I have a tiara or crown made of puff pastry with some strawberries, some little

38:32pickled peppers, some nice flowers, some parmesan.

38:35And then the pointy one is one of my favorite cheeses of all time.

38:39It's Pleasant Ridge Reserve.

38:40It's a cow's milk cheese from America.

38:44No.

38:45Molto bene.

38:46Holy shit.

38:48Okay.

38:50Permission to put on?

38:51Permission granted.

38:53Oh my God.

38:54Angela, get it in your hole.

38:56No way.

38:57No way.

38:57And it's really good.

38:58Wow.

38:58Your favorite cheese?

39:02One of my favorites.

39:03I gotta put the crown on.

39:04I need a little salami with that cheese.

39:05That's good cheese.

39:06Okay.

39:07Be careful.

39:07It's delicate.

39:09This is unbelievable.

39:11Don't cry.

39:12Try not to cry.

39:12She's our queen.

39:13No, no.

39:13Don't cry.

39:14She's our queen.

39:15No, no.

39:16You deserve it, honey.

39:17You worked really hard and you worked for world peace.

39:19Oh, she looks beautiful.

39:23All right.

39:23I gotta try this head crown.

39:24Yeah, get that off.

39:25This is fucking stunning.

39:26Take a bite of the puff pastry.

39:28I'm gonna go.

39:29Yeah.

39:30Yeah.

39:31Wow.

39:32That's right.

39:33Wow.

39:33Good?

39:34Oh my God.

39:35It's so good.

39:36I feel like I'm absolutely covered in it.

39:38Oh.

39:39I know.

39:40You look incredible.

39:41Max, what was your inspiration for this dish?

39:43You know, I wanted to go the Italian route and then I really wanted to have a headpiece,

39:48so I made a crown happen.

39:50Chefs, we're absolutely filthy.

39:52The show has to end.

39:53Thank you so much for everything you've done today.

39:55These foods have been incredible.

40:00Gastronauts, you've made it.

40:01But only one of you can soar as today's culinary comment and win an actual, literal, real-life

40:06piece of the moon.

40:08That's crazy.

40:09Our judges will conspire to determine a winner and then one of you will come whisper it

40:12in my ear when you're done.

40:14Okay, we can talk amongst ourselves.

40:15Great.

40:22All right.

40:23Thank you so much.

40:24And our winner for today, can I get a drum roll, please?

40:33It's Max!

40:36Max, come get your trophy.

40:38Your food was so incredible.

40:40It was hard to choose, but easy at the same time.

40:42Everyone did such a wonderful job today.

40:45And I have one more thought.

40:46Judges!

40:47Yes?

40:48Did you know that you've been being judged this whole time?

40:50What?

40:51Oh, no.

40:51That's right.

40:52The chefs have joined together to select a winner of the most fun and creative challenge.

40:59Oh, they hated me too.

41:01Oh, they did.

41:02It was creative, but it was hell for them.

41:03You're not going to win.

41:04And the one of you that wins that will win an actual, literal, real-life piece of the

41:09sun.

41:10Wow.

41:11Max, can you whisper in my ear who won the judges' challenge?

41:16Thank you so much.

41:17All right.

41:18Chefs, can I get a drum roll, please?

41:21Okay, on the trophy.

41:22And the winner is...

41:25Amanda!

41:27Yeah!

41:29These chefs were absolutely horny for your challenge.

41:31Oh, my God.

41:32Horny people.

41:33They exist.

41:34I thought so.

41:35There you go.

41:36That's our friend.

41:37How are you feeling, Amanda?

41:39I'm feeling like I have the piece of the sun, Jordan.

41:41Perfect.

41:42Well, everyone, you did it.

41:44Congratulations to our champion and a solar-worthy salute to all of our chefs and all of our judges.

41:51Remember, home gastronauts, whether you're blasting through a baking black hole or simply reheating

41:56a slice of pizza, boldly cook what no one has ever cooked before.

42:00Good night!

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