- 13 hours ago
- #mormonchurch
Excommunication from the Mormon Church
#MormonChurch
#MormonChurch
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You were only 34 when you became a widow.
00:03How did you manage to survive that loss, especially with four kids?
00:07That must have been like so incredibly difficult.
00:11I can't even imagine.
00:12Yeah, no, it was.
00:15I had a good group of friends and I had, at the time, the support of the church.
00:21And so they did things that I couldn't.
00:24And leading up to his death as well, like they brought meals every day.
00:30For months, I didn't have to think about cooking or food in the house because they brought it.
00:37Or they'd be like, oh, let me take the kids to their sports activities.
00:41Because some days I just couldn't.
00:45I just couldn't.
00:45Yeah.
00:46Right.
00:46It was really difficult.
00:47Yeah.
00:48But I think when something like that happens, leading up to it, you think like, there's no way I can get through this.
00:56I can't do this.
00:56And then somehow, you do.
01:00Yeah.
01:00But yeah, I'm not going to say it's easy.
01:01But yeah, somehow you just, you do.
01:04You do go into survival mode.
01:05Yeah.
01:06I mean, you don't know what you can get through until you're faced with it.
01:09Yeah, exactly.
01:10And then especially when you have kids, it's like you have to.
01:13You have to.
01:13Yeah.
01:14You have to get through it.
01:15There's no choice.
01:15You don't have a choice.
01:17Right.
01:17You know?
01:18Yeah.
01:18So you said that, so you were in the Mormon church then at the time.
01:24And so they really like gathered around you and like supported you.
01:26That must have been one of like, for me, I'm not a religious person.
01:32In fact, I was raised atheist.
01:33But I love the way that the church creates a community of people that really come together
01:38and support each other.
01:40Yeah.
01:40And I think that that's something that is missing in society.
01:43Definitely.
01:44These days.
01:44Yeah.
01:45Everyone is just like for themselves.
01:46Yeah.
01:46Like we don't really, like people don't have something that centers them.
01:51Yeah.
01:52And something to like focus around.
01:54And even though I'm not religious, I see how like that has value with the church.
02:00So that must have been, you must have felt like so grateful for that.
02:04Yeah, definitely.
02:05I mean, they even came to me and said, okay, we know that you can't do this.
02:08So just tell us like what flowers you like.
02:10They did absolutely everything for the funeral.
02:13They paid for it.
02:14Wow.
02:15They put the service together.
02:16I showed up.
02:17Did your faith help you get through that?
02:19It did because I felt like, okay, I'm going to see him again.
02:24Because I, you know, I really believe that.
02:26So I'm like, okay, I'm going to see him again.
02:28So I had that comfort.
02:29I knew, okay, he's with God now.
02:31I had that comfort.
02:33And so that helped me quite a bit.
02:34Just knowing like he's a piece.
02:37I don't need to have any guilt about that.
02:39And that, you know, for me, like everything is going to be okay.
02:44That's another thing that I actually, uh, makes me a little bit jealous about people who have faith.
02:49Like that, that truly like feeling that comfort and thinking that you're going to see that person again.
02:55Yeah.
02:55Or that they're, they're okay.
02:57That their spirit like resides somewhere.
02:59Yeah.
03:00Um, because you know, when my father died, like that was like the worst thing for me.
03:05Yeah.
03:05And I didn't have that.
03:08That.
03:08He was just gone.
03:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:10You know what I mean?
03:11Like there's just nothing.
03:11Right.
03:12Like he's gone.
03:12Right.
03:13And I'm never going to see him again.
03:14Yeah.
03:15I think whether you're religious or not.
03:17Yeah.
03:17Um, and if you don't have that, you can know that, well, they're not physically suffering.
03:22Yeah.
03:23Right.
03:23Yeah.
03:23They're not suffering.
03:24Yeah.
03:24Whether you believe or not, you know, in the other stuff or not, regardless of what you believe, they're not suffering.
03:31Yeah.
03:32And so you don't have to carry that burden.
03:34Right.
03:34Yeah.
03:35Yeah.
03:35Just the idea of non-existence to me is like the most terrifying thing ever.
03:39It is.
03:39It's strange.
03:40Yeah.
03:40Yeah.
03:40I like sit in the dark and think about these things.
03:44Well, if you've gone through that, yes, you do.
03:46You think about those things because it is strange to know someone your whole life and to have someone be a constant and then they just don't exist.
03:55Yeah.
03:55It's strange.
03:56And it's not something that you think about unless it happens to you.
03:59Right.
03:59Yeah.
04:00So now you ended up being excommunicated from the church.
04:06Yeah.
04:06Right.
04:07So what happened there?
04:09So I think it was, I told you I was on that talk show, The Daily Blast Live.
04:14Well, that aired, I don't think they're on the air anymore, but I think they aired in like 20 states and it was this live talk show.
04:22And then that was put onto YouTube.
04:25And so it circulates.
04:27So I don't, and so you went on that talk show about your career.
04:30Yeah.
04:30Okay.
04:31I think I was, you know, after being featured in the New York Post, they contacted me and said, hey, we'd like to have you as a guest on our show.
04:40Would you like to do that?
04:40I'm like, sure.
04:41And then after it was televised, they put it on YouTube, someone, I don't know who, someone in the church saw that and said, recognize you.
04:53And they sent that to the bishop of the church.
04:57And so I got a text one morning, and this was after another article had come out in the New York Post.
05:03And I thought, oh, he saw it.
05:05I had a text at like 5.30 a.m.
05:08I need to meet with you.
05:09It's important.
05:11Can you come and meet me at the church?
05:13I've never had a text like that in my life.
05:15So I knew, who knows?
05:19And so, of course, I'm like, I'm really busy.
05:22Can we just talk about this over text?
05:24And he's like, it's really important.
05:26I'd rather do this in person.
05:28And so I avoided him for a while.
05:30And then I decided, okay, he's going to see me in attendance this Sunday.
05:35Let's just rip the Band-Aid off.
05:36So I did, I let him come over.
05:39And we had the most awkward interaction conversation ever.
05:43You know, he's not really into social media, right?
05:46And I don't know if he has Instagram, but he certainly doesn't know anything about the adult industry.
05:54While it's still none of his business, and I still, you know, I don't see anything wrong with if I were on the other side of the business as, you know, an adult, in adult entertainment film star.
06:06But he assumed that's what it was.
06:09And he went off on some spiel, some tangent about how, you know, like negative that is and, you know, not great for, you know, myself or my family.
06:20I didn't correct him.
06:21I just sort of like the smile and nod, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:25He gave me an ultimatum.
06:27He said, you can't do this and be a member of the church.
06:30It just doesn't work.
06:31Those two things just don't coexist.
06:34You can have your career and your life, or you can come and attend and be one of us, basically.
06:45And he asked me if that's, you know, do you want to still attend and do you want to be a member?
06:51And is this what you want?
06:52And I said, yes.
06:54You know, I just wanted him out of my house.
06:57I'm thinking towards the end of the conversation, I'm thinking, wait a minute, why are, wait, why are you here right now?
07:04Why did I let you come over again?
07:06But you're conditioned from a young age because in the Mormon church, you have to, you attend an annual meeting where you're asked questions about, you know, your faith and if you still have the same beliefs that you did and if you've been living a pure life to get permission to go to the Mormon temple.
07:31So you can't just walk into the Mormon temple.
07:33You have to have the recommendation from the bishop.
07:37And so, you know, you're, if you're a member, then you're used to this.
07:42You're used to asking for permission and wanting and needing acceptance.
07:48And so that's why to anyone else, they're like, you know, why did you let him in your house?
07:51Like, that's none of his business.
07:53But if you're used to that and having those conversations, then it's just sort of a knee-jerk reaction to say, okay, dad, you know, come over and we'll talk about it, right?
08:03But yeah, towards the end of that conversation, I'm like, wait a minute.
08:08This is really strange.
08:09This is not normal.
08:10Why are you here?
08:11This is none of your business.
08:12You know, I, when I'm in attendance on Sunday, which I am every Sunday, I act normal.
08:18Like, I dress conservatively.
08:20I'm nice.
08:22I sit quietly and I listen and then I leave and I go home.
08:27So where it led from there was he wanted an update.
08:32Like, every couple of weeks, he was texting me like, hey, I'd really like to have an update from you.
08:37Where are we at with things?
08:38Because he wanted to know, are you still continuing your shenanigans on OnlyFans or have you changed your ways?
08:46And of course, I haven't changed my ways.
08:48I'm making bank.
08:50Making a lot of money.
08:51Like, you can't stop this trade.
08:52Don't you have to give 10% of your income to the Mormon church?
08:55You don't have to, but it's frowned upon not to.
08:59Yeah.
08:59So if he wants his 10%, then maybe he should let you do OnlyFans.
09:02Right, yes.
09:03You get a much bigger 10%, I'm just saying.
09:05Right, yeah, exactly.
09:07Yeah, I thought it was dirty money.
09:10Yeah, so, you know, he's really after me, wanting an update.
09:13And I didn't want to give it to him because I wanted to just do my thing and, like, leave me alone, right?
09:19So I was moving to another state.
09:23And it was known because I was asking for help to carry furniture and do things.
09:30And so, not him, but other members in the church.
09:32So, you know, the talk happened that, okay, she's moving.
09:36And he didn't want this to be—I think what happened is he didn't want this to be another bishop's problem.
09:41Because when you move, you have a record number.
09:44You have a record with the church.
09:47So if I move and I attend, they're going to ask, okay, what's your member ID?
09:52And then they're going to find out.
09:54And then we have to have that conversation.
09:56So I think he just thought, let's just close business here.
09:59You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing.
10:01Your Instagram's still there.
10:03Your account's still there.
10:04Your link is still in your bio.
10:08And so I'm just going to make the call.
10:10And so he took away my membership.
10:13So he excommunicated you.
10:14Yes.
10:15Yeah.
10:15You know, it says in the letter, which I did get an official letter,
10:19that, you know, I'm still welcome to attend, but I can't take part in sacrament.
10:25I can't attend the temple.
10:26I don't have any of the same privileges.
10:28So you're allowed to sit there in the pew and be shamed if you'd like to still attend.
10:34You know, if you'd still like to show up and have everyone stare at you.
10:37Because it's quiet.
10:40Like, if somebody passes gas, 200 people are going to know.
10:44Like, it's quiet.
10:45When they pass that bread in that water, everyone is looking around,
10:51and everyone takes the bread in the water.
10:54But if I'm not allowed to, it's going to be noticed, right?
10:57If I don't.
10:59It's like, I'm not—come on, this isn't—I'm excommunicated.
11:02I'm out, you know?
11:03Yeah.
11:03So what did you do after that?
11:05I moved, and then I just went about my life,
11:09and I started recently thinking about going back.
11:13Okay.
11:14Because I just wanted to, like, regroup, you know, restart my life,
11:19which I wasn't moving because of that.
11:21I wanted out of bad weather.
11:22Mm-hmm.
11:22But I'm glad I'm away.
11:25I mean, I don't want those people as neighbors, right?
11:27Yeah, right.
11:28Yeah, so I'm now—because my kids, you know,
11:33they grew up attending every Sunday, and it's kind of weird.
11:36It's like there's this hole, and things are just different.
11:40And so I've thought about, well, maybe I do just go back,
11:43and then I fight for my membership.
11:46I'm just not really sure what my move is going to be,
11:48but that's a potential.
11:49All right.
11:49Let's do it till we need it.
11:50All right.
11:50We'll see you next time.
12:13See you next time.
12:14Bye.
12:15Bye.
12:16Bye.
12:17Bye.
12:18Bye.
12:19Bye.
Recommended
52:55
|
Up next
4:03
55:33
1:28:42
0:37
3:16
4:46
11:17
11:08
3:50
5:55
Be the first to comment