- 3 months ago
- #comedy
- #rowanatkinson
- #newyear
#comedy #rowanatkinson #newyear
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Transcription by CastingWords
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03:05How likely is that?
03:09Well, very likely, actually, darling.
03:11Because I've just built one.
03:14Stuff and stots.
03:15I've heard some rubbish in my time.
03:18Every time I open my mouth, as a matter of fact.
03:20But a time machine?
03:22It's just cobblers.
03:24I can assure you it is not.
03:26This is an original sketchbook by Leonardo da Vinci.
03:29And in the last year, I myself have built a time machine to his exact specifications.
03:35Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest breakthrough in travel since Mr. Rodney Tricycle thought to himself,
03:41I'm bored with walking.
03:43I think I'll invent a machine with three wheels and a bell and name it after myself.
03:48Behold, the time machine.
03:54Well, glaze my nipples and call me Rita.
03:57It can't be real, Blackadder.
03:59It's a practical joke, surely.
04:00Certainly not.
04:01When was the last time I played a practical joke?
04:03Well, there was the time you said you were dying of kidney failure.
04:06And I donated one of my kidneys to save your life.
04:08And then you said it was an April Fool and we had to throw my kidney away.
04:14Well, yes, there has been the odd, hilarious, practical joke.
04:17But not this time.
04:19This is a working time machine.
04:22And to prove it, I suggest a wager.
04:24I will bet you each £10,000 that I can travel through time and bring back any items of historical interest which you choose to nominate.
04:38Darling?
04:39Well, yes, all right.
04:40Yes, if you can travel through time, I'll pay up.
04:44Well, so long as you bring back with you a genuine Roman centurion's helmet.
04:50Well, a Roman centurion's helmet.
04:55No, no, that's much too easy.
04:57What about the actual Wellingtons, actually worn by Wellington?
05:02On the day he won the Battle of Waterloo.
05:05Lady Elizabeth would like the actual Wellingtons worn by the Duke of Wellington on the day he won the Battle of Waterloo.
05:12Anyone else?
05:14Oh, yes.
05:15Ah, yes, I've got one.
05:16I want you to get, I'd like to see you get your hands on these, an ancient, reeking, stinking pair of 200-year-old underpants.
05:2418th century body huggers, that's the ticket.
05:31Very well, I shall be on my way.
05:34This will, of course, take no time at all in your time.
05:36I shall merely step in, there will be a momentary shuddering, and I will emerge triumphant.
05:42Farewell, dear friends.
05:49Well done, Baldus, this is very impressive.
05:52I'm sorry that I didn't have time to build it myself.
05:53Don't worry, my lord, I've followed Mr Da Vinci's instructions to the letter.
05:57Even though you can't actually read.
05:59That's right, my lord, but I have done a lot of airfix models in my time.
06:03Right, so I've got the centurion's helmet.
06:06Very good.
06:07And the boots.
06:08Excellent.
06:10The underpants, where are the underpants?
06:11Oh, here you are, my lord.
06:13They're my very best pair.
06:15And coincidentally, all some are very worst.
06:18So they are, in fact, your only pair of underpants.
06:20That's right, my lord.
06:22Oh!
06:23I'm stuck in the bag.
06:25Oh, my god!
06:31Right, let's get all this stuff going.
06:34Right, my lord.
06:34Yes.
06:36Yes.
06:37Right.
06:38Let's shake it about a bit.
06:40Make it real.
06:41The best New Year's Eve prank ever.
06:50Here we go.
06:51You hide that.
06:52£30,000.
06:53Here I come.
06:54What's happening, my lord?
07:05Well.
07:08For God's sake, do something, Baldrick.
07:13Something useful.
07:15Come on, get something.
07:16Just throw.
07:16Shoot.
07:17Go on.
07:17Go away.
07:18Sog off.
07:30The underpants.
07:32Try the underpants.
07:35Oh, bloody brontosaurus.
07:38You can't kill me, not me.
07:40What?
07:43They slit my skin.
07:46Fascinating.
07:58One of history's great mysteries solved.
08:02The dinosaurs were in fact wiped out by your parents.
08:08Well, brothers, this is a turn-up for the books.
08:11You have built a working time machine,
08:13and are therefore, rather surprisingly,
08:15the greatest genius who has ever lived.
08:17Thank you very much, my lord.
08:18Right, let's get out of here, shall we?
08:20No problem, my lord.
08:27Can you set the date so we can get home?
08:29Yes.
08:30Just turn that there.
08:31Pull that there.
08:32We set that there.
08:33Pull this lever like that.
08:35And the date should come up.
08:36But, unfortunately, it doesn't,
08:40because I was going to write the numbers on in felt-tipped pen,
08:43but I never got round to it.
08:45Right.
08:46So the date we're heading for
08:48is two watermelons and a bunch of cherries.
08:51That's right, my lord.
08:52In other words, we can't get home.
08:55Not as such.
08:57Excellent.
08:58Rather a spectacular return to form
09:03after the genius moment, Baldrick.
09:06Still, I think someone with common sense
09:08ought to be able to resolve this.
09:09All we've got to do is put these controls
09:11back to where they were when we first set off.
09:14I think that was about there.
09:17It was here and here.
09:20There.
09:23And that should get us home.
09:24Excellent.
09:27You threw away our winning items, Baldrick,
09:29but at least we're home.
09:33Typical.
09:34They must have got bored and gone back for pudding.
09:40Right.
09:41Now, you're not going to believe that...
09:45Ah, Lord Blackadder.
09:53Elizabeth...
09:54The first.
09:55You're wearing very weird clothes.
09:59And you're looking rather old and ugly, actually.
10:02Is that right?
10:03Of course it's right.
10:03I'm always right.
10:05Of course it's right.
10:06Elchy.
10:07Ma'am.
10:08Edmund has been very cheeky.
10:10Shall I laugh at him?
10:11Or chop his ugly head off?
10:13Well, one hates to be harsh, ma'am,
10:15but I do think a bit of choppy-choppy
10:17is the only apt reaction.
10:18Very well.
10:19Kill him!
10:20Yes, of course, Eddie.
10:24You've got a present for me?
10:26A present.
10:30Um, yes, certainly, Your Majesty.
10:34A present.
10:35Um, uh...
10:38Quickly, getting bored now.
10:39Ah, yes.
10:41Now...
10:42Now, these may not look much.
10:46They don't.
10:46No, but, um...
10:49Um, well...
10:50Well, let's say...
10:51Let's say...
10:52Let's say that there was a place
10:54where you could buy absolutely everything.
10:57We already have those, Blackadder,
10:59and they're called markets.
11:01Oh, right, right.
11:02Well, imagine that,
11:03but times ten.
11:04As it were, a supermarket.
11:07Now, if you gave someone
11:09at one of these supermarkets
11:11this,
11:12he would give you
11:16some bonus points,
11:18which would mean
11:20that once a month
11:21you could buy
11:23a tin of baked beans
11:24at half the normal price.
11:27Kill him!
11:28Oh, God, no,
11:30that must be...
11:30Oh!
11:31Oh, me!
11:33Hmm?
11:34What are they?
11:35Oh, they're just sort of
11:36sweet, minty things.
11:40I want one!
11:41Yes, sir.
11:43Do you have medicine?
11:45Oh!
11:46It's got a hole in it.
11:48No, they're meant to be like that.
11:49Oh.
11:50That's how they're made.
12:01Blackadder!
12:02You are so naughty!
12:05It's the tastiest thing
12:07in the history of the...
12:08Try one, Melchie!
12:10What a prick!
12:12Oh, yes, indeed, ma'am.
12:13The most pleasant.
12:15Oh, this is incredible,
12:16cos, do you know, Smelchy,
12:18the way it usually smells so bad
12:20it's like you've eaten
12:20a hell's goat for your breakfast.
12:22Well, I am aware
12:22I have a less than orthodox
12:24mouthful odour, ma'am, yes.
12:25Yes, well,
12:26you don't smell like that anymore.
12:28You smell absolutely yummy now.
12:30I've felt torn like a turd.
12:32Oh, what a pity!
12:34Well done, Blackie!
12:35Here, take this!
12:38You sexy blood!
12:41Oh, thank you, ma'am.
12:43Now, go forth
12:45and bring back lots more
12:47minty things
12:48in the next five minutes
12:50or I'll come after you
12:52and crush your skull like an egg.
12:56Certainly, Your Majesty.
12:57I'll be right back.
12:58Thank you very much.
13:04Oh!
13:06Oh, I'm...
13:07I'm so sorry.
13:08I am sorry.
13:12Wait a minute.
13:13You're not.
13:14Will Shakespeare, yes.
13:15Don't say it, I know.
13:17You hated two gentlemen of Verona,
13:18but this one's much better.
13:20Well, bugger my giddy aunt.
13:23You...
13:23You couldn't just, um,
13:24sign something for me, could you?
13:27Well, certainly.
13:28Uh...
13:28Sorry, Sister Byro.
13:38Oh, and just one more thing.
13:39Yeah.
13:41That is for every schoolboy
13:43and schoolgirl
13:44for the next 400 years.
13:46Have you any idea
13:48how much suffering
13:49you're going to cause?
13:50Hours spent at school desks
13:52trying to find one joke
13:54in a midsummer night's dream?
13:56Years wearing stupid tights
13:59in school plays
14:01and saying things like
14:02what ho, my lord,
14:03and oh, look,
14:04here comes Othello
14:05talking total crap as usual.
14:08Oh, and...
14:09Ow!
14:10That
14:10is for Ken Branner's
14:12endless uncut
14:13four-hour version
14:14of Hamlet.
14:17Who's Ken Branner?
14:18I'll tell him
14:19you said that
14:20and I think
14:22he'll be very hurt.
14:28Right, let's get out of here,
14:29boulders.
14:30Certainly, my lord.
14:31By the way,
14:31if we're lucky enough
14:32to get out of this alive...
14:33Yes, my lord?
14:34Remind me to kill you, will you?
14:35Oh, all right, my lord.
14:36Now,
14:37it was down here
14:38when we were at the dinosaurs.
14:39It's in the middle now,
14:40so why don't we try...
14:41Here.
14:42Should do the trick.
14:49Uh, yes,
14:50I suspect
14:50that's a little too far forward.
14:54Back, back, back!
15:01Oh, God,
15:02where are we now?
15:04Oh, dear.
15:06You think it's safe?
15:07I don't know.
15:09Does this look like
15:10a dangerous place to you,
15:11Bouldrick?
15:11this empty wood?
15:20Well, well,
15:21what have we here,
15:22my tough band of freedom fighters
15:23who have good muscle tone
15:25and aren't gay?
15:26Oh, God.
15:27Ha!
15:37Look, lads,
15:38we've captured
15:38Lord Blackadder!
15:39Hey!
15:41Wait a minute.
15:43Are you Robin Hood?
15:45Am I Robin Hood?
15:47Is Will Scarlet a puff in tights?
15:50Is Fryer Turk a fat tub of lard
15:53with a ridiculous haircut?
15:56Is Maid Marian a hot little honey
15:58with thighs like
15:59two halves of a nutcracker?
16:00Yes, I am.
16:01Whoop!
16:01Whoop!
16:01Whoop!
16:02Whoop!
16:02Whoop!
16:04Hooray!
16:06Whoop!
16:07Whoop!
16:08Oh, yes, it's nice to meet you at last.
16:10Because there's one question
16:12I've always wanted to ask you.
16:13Fire away!
16:14One final question
16:15before I impale you
16:16with my magnificent weapon
16:17and I'm not talking about my enormous...
16:19Yes, yes, yes, I know you're not.
16:20Oh, right, sorry.
16:21What puzzles me is this.
16:22You rob from the rich.
16:25Yes!
16:25That's right, yeah.
16:26And then, when you've robbed the rich,
16:29you give it all to the poor.
16:31Yes!
16:32I love giving it to the poor.
16:34Whoop!
16:35Whoop!
16:36Now, that's the bit I don't understand.
16:40You men risk your lives in combat?
16:42Yes!
16:44You risk certain death
16:45if you're caught?
16:47Yes!
16:48You live here in this forest
16:50in total squalor?
16:52I mean, I'd hate to think
16:53what the toilet facilities are like round here.
16:56Not very nice, actually.
16:58And yet you still give every single penny
17:00to these so-called poor
17:03who just sit on their backsides all day.
17:07Oh, shut up now!
17:09Laughing at you, saying,
17:10oh, no need to go to work today.
17:12Robin Hood and his merry men
17:13will be along in a minute
17:13with a big pile of cash.
17:15I said shut up!
17:16I'm surprised they don't call you
17:18Robin Hood and his bunch of complete lunatics.
17:22Right!
17:23That is it!
17:24Shoot him, boys!
17:25I'm great and he's not!
17:27Robin Hood and his band of merry morons.
17:30Ready!
17:32Aim!
17:36Fire!
17:39Can I say that I think you've made the right decision?
17:46So do I, gorgeous.
17:50Ding dong.
17:56Well, Maid Marian was pretty friendly.
17:59So was Will Scarlet.
18:00Really nice guy.
18:03Still, the sooner we get home, the better.
18:06We've started to affect history
18:08and that's dangerous.
18:08We've already wiped out the dinosaurs
18:10and killed Robin Hood.
18:12God only knows what's going to happen next time.
18:25My lord emperor,
18:26I, the Duke de Darlene, bring news.
18:29The English have reached Waterloo.
18:31Good, prepare to attack.
18:32Very well.
18:33But first, I would like to ask,
18:37why do we want to invade Britain in the first place?
18:39I mean, their wine is made of the peepee of cows
18:42and their women all have big beards.
18:45We invade, darling,
18:46because the British think they are so tough.
18:49They think we French are sissies.
18:50They call us weeds and whoopsies
18:52and big girls' blouses.
18:54With respect, my emperor,
18:55we are whoopsies.
18:56We invented the tapas tree,
18:58the souffle,
18:59and the sweet liqueur.
19:01We will be slaughtered
19:02the minute we mince up the hill.
19:04Do not despair.
19:05It is my firm belief
19:07that God hates the British.
19:08He will intervene miraculously
19:10and send us a glorious victory
19:12on this field of Waterloo.
19:15Oh, bravo!
19:17They're lovely uniform today, by the way.
19:19Oh, thank you.
19:20I think it works.
19:21Woo-hoo!
19:26Your Grace, the French are approaching.
19:31Excellent.
19:32I have a superb plan
19:33which cannot fail
19:34but to result in the complete destruction
19:35of the French army.
19:37Oh, splendid.
19:37Well, tell me at once, Your Grace,
19:38and I'll spread the news to the truth.
19:40Very well.
19:40The plan is...
19:42God, I'm brilliant.
19:42Do you know I surprise myself sometimes?
19:44I really do.
19:44Yeah.
19:45The plan is...
19:46Yeah.
19:46...to allow the French
19:47to come within a hundred yards of us
19:49and then...
19:50And this is the completely original
19:51of brilliant part.
19:52Yes.
19:53Then...
19:53Your Grace!
19:56The Duke of Wellington is dead!
20:02Whoops!
20:03Alas!
20:04Alas!
20:05Without the plan, the day is lost!
20:09Pardon me.
20:12Thanks very much.
20:14Might as well try and win that cash anyway.
20:19Why don't we try pressing this button?
20:22Well, fingers crossed.
20:31What can you see, Boulders?
20:32People in very short skirts, my lord.
20:35Ah, excellent.
20:36The 1960s.
20:37At last.
20:38We're getting close.
20:40I might stay a while, actually,
20:41for a bit of hippie free love.
20:43Not that free love
20:44would make a lot of difference to you,
20:45would it, Boulders?
20:46I mean, what would a sheep do with money?
20:48Not girls in skirts, my lord.
20:51Men.
20:51Ah.
20:52Spandau Ballet, 1983.
20:54I think not, my lord.
20:57What?
20:59Hmm.
21:00Romans.
21:02We're still centuries out.
21:04Come on, let's go.
21:06Although,
21:06I might just steal myself a Roman helmet
21:08while we're here.
21:10That's interesting.
21:11The machine seems to be seeking out our DNA across time.
21:14Just brilliant.
21:16What a century.
21:17We're facing a horde of ginger maniacs
21:19with wild goats nesting in their huge orange beards.
21:23Or, to put it another way,
21:24the Scots.
21:25And how does our inspired leader Hadrian
21:28intend to keep out this vast army of lunatics?
21:31By building a three-foot-high wall.
21:34A terrifying obstacle.
21:36About as frightening as a little rabbit
21:38with the word boo painted on its nose.
21:41Ooh.
21:42Oh, come now, Centurion.
21:44I won't have that.
21:44This wall is a terrific defence mechanism.
21:47Why, surely not suggesting
21:48that a rabble of Scots
21:50could get the better of Roman soldiers.
21:52Okay, look at us.
21:56Welcome, General.
21:58Indeed.
22:00Ha, ha, ha.
22:01Good to see you practising your English, Georges.
22:04Sed mihi nun tiatem est
22:07Romanem undique opugnare.
22:09Sed imperator nihil fecise
22:11praetum martrem venavonise
22:13e quumque oxorem tuxisi.
22:15Itaque, sinatus copiace Britannia,
22:18revocari ad suitatum nostrum imperialem
22:20defendem constituent.
22:22Did you hear that, Bordus?
22:23I certainly did, O Centurion.
22:25Back to Rome at last.
22:27Be us.
22:28Say, this is interesting.
22:30There appears to be
22:31a large orange hedge
22:33moving towards us.
22:35That's not a hedge, Consul.
22:36That's the Scots.
22:37Ah.
22:44Pop to the watch, eh?
22:45Shall we run, my lord?
22:47Yes.
22:51Perhaps we could negotiate.
22:53Last one there
22:54gets hacked to pieces
22:54by Rod Stewart's
22:56great-great-grandfather.
22:57Let's get home, Bordus.
23:07We don't know where home is.
23:09We're doomed to float
23:10through time
23:11for all time.
23:13Oh, woe is me!
23:17Shut up, Bordus.
23:18Shut up.
23:18There is one final thing
23:19to push
23:20which may be our salvation.
23:21Or not.
23:24Because it is, in fact,
23:25a lollipop.
23:27Raspberry-flavoured, my lord.
23:29Oh, God.
23:30I'm going to spend
23:31the rest of my life
23:32in a small wooden room
23:34with two toilets
23:35and the stupidest man
23:37in the world.
23:39Wait, my lord.
23:40Do not despair.
23:41For I
23:42have a cunning plan.
23:47Can I say
23:47I'm not optimistic, Bordus?
23:49To be quiet, Frank,
23:50my lord, neither am I.
23:52My family have never
23:53been very good at plans.
23:54So, with suitably
23:55low expectations,
23:57what is your cunning plan
23:58to get us home?
23:59Well, my lord,
24:00you know how
24:00when people drown
24:02their whole life
24:03flashes in front of them?
24:04Yes.
24:06Well, if you
24:07stuck your head
24:08in a bucket of water
24:09and didn't bring it
24:10out again,
24:11then your whole life
24:12would flash in front of you
24:13and you'd see
24:14where all the knobs
24:15and levers were
24:16when we first set off
24:17and then,
24:18if you pulled
24:19your head out again,
24:20just before you died,
24:23you could guide us home.
24:25Bordrick?
24:26My lord.
24:28Good plan.
24:30With perhaps
24:31just one
24:31tiny modification.
24:34Hmm?
24:35Oh!
24:41How's it going?
24:42I'm 18 years old.
24:43I've just left
24:44nursery school.
24:45Okey dokey.
24:45OK.
24:45OK.
24:46OK.
24:46OK.
24:47I'm 25.
24:54I'm back
24:55at nursery school.
24:56Hmm.
24:56Got it!
25:12Got it!
25:13Very good.
25:14I wish...
25:15I wish I flushed the loo first.
25:20Ah, yeah.
25:20As we approach the end,
25:23my lord,
25:24what do you think
25:25we've learnt
25:25on our great journey?
25:28Good question,
25:28Bordrick.
25:29I suppose I've learnt
25:31that I must buy you
25:32a much stronger mouthwash
25:33for Christmas this year.
25:35How about you?
25:36Oh, I don't know.
25:37I suppose I've learnt
25:38that human beings
25:39have always been the same.
25:41Some nice,
25:41some nasty.
25:42Some clever,
25:43some stupid.
25:44There's always a blackadder
25:45and there's always
25:46a Bordrick.
25:48Yeah, it's very profound,
25:49Bordrick.
25:49Also, it occurs to me...
25:51Oh, God,
25:52there's not more, is there?
25:52If you're in the right place
25:54at the right time,
25:55then every person
25:56has the power
25:57to go out
25:58and change the world
26:00for the better.
26:01God, you really are
26:02as thick as
26:03clotted cream
26:05that's been left out
26:06by some clot
26:07until the clots
26:08are so clotted up
26:09you couldn't unclot them
26:10with an electric
26:11declotter.
26:13Aren't you,
26:13Bordrick?
26:13Real change
26:15comes from huge
26:16socio-economic things
26:18that individuals
26:19have no effect on.
26:20Unless you're king
26:21or prime minister
26:22or something.
26:23Oh, yes,
26:23I suppose they can
26:24make a difference.
26:25But for the rest of us,
26:26all we can do in life
26:27is to try to make
26:28a bit of cash.
26:31Which is what I intend
26:32to do right now.
26:34Hang on.
26:36Did you see?
26:38Good Lord,
26:39Blackadder,
26:39what happened there?
26:40Yes,
26:41everything went
26:41sort of squiggly.
26:42I have, in fact,
26:44returned from the past.
26:46You surely don't expect
26:47us to believe that,
26:48Blackadder.
26:49Clearly,
26:49that was all some
26:50sort of cheap
26:50conjuring trick.
26:51On the country,
26:52darling.
26:53Oh,
26:54oh.
26:55Well, bravo,
26:56with big brass bells on.
26:59And as a little bonus,
27:00the crown of
27:01Queen Elizabeth I
27:02of England.
27:03Oh,
27:04fun!
27:07Yes!
27:07Well done,
27:08Blackadder.
27:09But tell me,
27:10all this stuff about
27:11changing history
27:12with time travel,
27:13you must have had
27:14to be damnsome careful.
27:15Oh, I was.
27:16Very careful.
27:17So, Blackadder,
27:18tell us,
27:18did you hang out
27:19with any, you know,
27:20big-time celebs?
27:21Well, yes, actually.
27:22For example,
27:23this belonged to
27:23none other
27:24than Robin Hood.
27:26Who?
27:28Robin Hood.
27:29Never heard of him.
27:30I'll have to do better
27:30than that, Blackadder.
27:31Right.
27:34So, you've never
27:34heard of Robin Hood?
27:36No.
27:37Well, this is
27:39the title page
27:40for Macbeth
27:41signed by
27:42Shakespeare himself.
27:45Oh, no, no, no,
27:46come on,
27:46you've heard of Shakespeare?
27:48He's the fellow
27:48who invented
27:49the ballpoint pen.
27:51Yes.
27:52Well, I might have
27:53had an effect
27:53on one or two things,
27:55but nothing important.
27:56Well, never mind,
27:57Blackadder,
27:57you've certainly
27:57won your bet.
27:58So, here's
27:59your 10,000 francs
28:00and jolly well
28:01deserved to.
28:03What do you mean,
28:03francs?
28:05What do you mean?
28:06What do I mean,
28:07francs?
28:07Well,
28:08surely you mean
28:0910,000 pounds.
28:12Pounds?
28:12We haven't used
28:13those for 200 years.
28:15Not since
28:15the Emperor Napoleon
28:16won the Battle of
28:17Waterloo,
28:17which reminds me
28:18it's time for us
28:19to get to the television.
28:20Monsieur le Président
28:21will be broadcasting
28:22from Versailles
28:23at any moment.
28:23Are you coming?
28:25Uh, no,
28:26I might just go
28:27on one final little trip.
28:29Oh, no, don't go.
28:29You haven't had a bite
28:30of the delicious
28:31garlic pudding.
28:33After which,
28:33I'm going to do
28:34a petit peu de ballet.
28:35Ah!
28:37All the water
28:39up and here
28:41Right.
28:42That's it.
28:45Come on, mourners.
28:46We've got to save Britain.
28:54I thought I'd just drop in
28:56to wish you
28:56good luck with the battle.
28:57You can't lose.
28:58You can't lose.
28:59Hello, darling.
29:05There's one question
29:06I've always wanted
29:07to ask you.
29:08Yeah?
29:09How come you're
29:10so great?
29:12Because I'm mean.
29:16I'm a very big fan, Bill.
29:19Keep up the good work.
29:20King Lear.
29:21Very funny.
29:21Good luck, Blackadder.
29:30What happened there?
29:33Bravo!
29:34And here,
29:35a front page of Macbeth
29:37signed by Shakespeare
29:38himself.
29:39Oh, my God!
29:41That's better.
29:43Well done, Blackadder.
29:45But, Jim,
29:45what about all this stuff
29:46about changing history
29:48through time travel?
29:48You must have had
29:49to be damn
29:50some careful.
29:51Oh, I was
29:51very, very careful.
29:55Intriguing thought,
29:55actually, isn't it?
29:56You know?
29:56The smallest thing
29:57can change history.
29:58Imagine if Wellington
29:59had died before
30:00the Battle of Waterloo,
30:01we'd all be French.
30:02Or if someone
30:02hadn't invented deodorant,
30:04we'd all be smelly.
30:05The tiniest thing
30:06can affect the course
30:07of human history.
30:09Think what turmoil
30:09an unscrupulous person
30:11could wreak.
30:12Yes.
30:15Could you excuse me
30:16for just five seconds?
30:18Yeah, absolutely.
30:21Why don't you just
30:22go upstairs and watch
30:23television?
30:23I'll be back
30:24very, very soon.
30:25Ah, splendid.
30:26But do hurry, Blackadder.
30:27I don't want to miss
30:27the big shindig at midnight.
30:29Don't worry.
30:30I'll be back.
30:33Aldrich?
30:34I have a very, very,
30:35very cunning plan.
30:38It is cunning as a fox,
30:39what used to be
30:40Professor of Cunning
30:41at Oxford University,
30:42but has moved on
30:43and is now working
30:44for the UN
30:45at the High Commission
30:46of International
30:47Cunning Planning?
30:49Yes, it is.
30:50Hmm.
30:52That's cunning.
30:58Right, here goes.
31:00And now,
31:00excitement is reaching
31:01fever pitch
31:02as the final guests
31:03of honour arrive
31:04at the Dome.
31:05Many of the crowds
31:06have been here
31:07for up to 36 hours
31:08waiting for this moment,
31:10and I'm sure
31:10they won't be disappointed.
31:11As the great cast
31:14sweeps into view,
31:16because here,
31:17at last,
31:17is the King himself,
31:19King Edmund III,
31:21universally loved,
31:2298% approval rating
31:24across the country.
31:26And with him,
31:27his gorgeous new bride,
31:28Queen Marion of Sherwood,
31:30the nation's most famous beauty,
31:32beloved by all.
31:34And here to greet them
31:35is the Prime Minister,
31:36unmarried, of course,
31:37but now entering
31:38his fifth term of office.
31:39The relationship
31:41between the King
31:41and his first minister
31:43particularly close nowadays
31:44since the dissolution
31:45of Parliament
31:46two years ago.
31:48And what a great partnership
31:49these two have become,
31:51leading Britain magnificently
31:52into a prosperous
31:53and triumphant
31:54new millennium.
31:55Let joy fill
32:09every Britain's heart
32:11For now
32:12our country's
32:13going to make it
32:15At last
32:16a king
32:17who looks the part
32:19At last
32:21a queen
32:21who looks good
32:22Blackadder
32:25Blackadder
32:27Blackadder
32:28A monarch
32:29with panache
32:32Blackadder
32:34Blackadder
32:35Blackadder
32:36He's got
32:37a nice mustache
32:39Everything he wants
32:43he'll get
32:44The world
32:46is now
32:46Blackadder's oyster
32:48Most Prime Ministers
32:51are wet
32:53But Baldrick
32:55he is even
32:56moister
32:57Blackadder
32:58Blackadder
32:59Blackadder
33:00A dog
33:02who's got
33:03his gold
33:05Blackadder
33:06Blackadder
33:07Blackadder
33:08The bastard
33:11on the throne
33:13Blackadder
33:16Blackadder
33:17Blackadder
33:18His beard
33:19is weak
33:20sweet child
33:22Blackadder
33:23Blackadder
33:24Blackadder
33:25Blackadder
33:26He's going
33:27to rule
33:28the world
33:30Blackadder
33:33Blackadder
33:34Blackadder
33:35Blackadder
33:36Blackadder
33:37Blackadder
33:38Blackadder
33:39Blackadder
33:40Blackadder
33:41Blackadder
33:42Blackadder
33:43Blackadder
33:44Blackadder
33:45Blackadder
33:46Blackadder
33:47Blackadder
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