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Have I Got News for You (US) Season 3 Episode 2
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00:00.
00:30Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
00:36I'm Roy Wood Jr.
00:37in the news this week.
00:39Court system attempts
00:41to stop Trump's agenda.
00:45Jaws' 50th anniversary
00:47re-release earns over
00:49$15 million at the box office.
00:53Youngest Democrat in the House
00:55celebrates a birthday.
00:57Throw it out.
01:00On Amherstine tonight,
01:01he's a journalist and author
01:02whose new book,
01:03Dirtbag Billionaire,
01:05is all about how the founder of Patagonia
01:07gave away his fortune.
01:08It's like Willy Wonka,
01:09but with more pup tense.
01:10It's David Gillis.
01:14And joining Michael Lera,
01:16comedian, actor, and writer
01:18whose new Netflix thriller,
01:19Wayward, premieres this month,
01:21which I don't think is a spoiler,
01:23it's Mae Martin.
01:24.
01:25Now,
01:28for the biggest stories of the week,
01:31Michael and Mae, watch the clip.
01:33Tell me, what's the story?
01:35Happy birthday.
01:36Oh, it's going to be a fun story.
01:37I like that.
01:38And you're getting a plane trip
01:39with money.
01:40Yay!
01:41Wait a second.
01:42What's this?
01:44It was looking so promising
01:45right up until the point
01:47where there was a manila envelope,
01:48and I suspect this has to do
01:50with Jeffrey Epstein.
01:51Points for you.
01:52Yes, indeed.
01:53It's looking like there's one birthday
01:55that Trump found a lot more exciting
01:57than his own.
01:58.
01:59.
01:59There's nothing more reassuring
02:09than just seeing a president sleep
02:11during explosions.
02:12.
02:13.
02:13.
02:14Earlier this week,
02:15White House Press Secretary Caroline Leavitt,
02:18whose husband is 32 years older than her,
02:20which is not related to the story,
02:22just a fun fact.
02:23I thought y'all should know.
02:24.
02:24.
02:24Leavitt denied that President Trump
02:26ever signed a raunchy 50th birthday card
02:30for convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
02:33The card is actually really more of a book of notes
02:36from Jeffrey's friends,
02:37and it features a drawing of an armless woman
02:40with a text that says,
02:43we have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
02:46And it continues,
02:47a pal is a wonderful thing.
02:50Happy birthday,
02:51and may every day be another wonderful secret.
02:54Oh.
02:54Yeah, and I just want to know,
02:55where in Hallmark do you get that card?
02:57What?
02:57.
02:57.
02:58There's a Valentine's Day,
03:00birthday,
03:01for the pedophile in your life.
03:02There's...
03:03You can't find that in mahogany.
03:05Oh, no.
03:05.
03:06I like black humor.
03:10.
03:11.
03:11You don't think R. Kelly
03:13was perusing a Hallmark story?
03:14.
03:15.
03:16Every time we talk about Epstein,
03:20y'all bring up that one.
03:21That's your one.
03:22.
03:23I'm scared of me.
03:25You don't think Bill Cosby was perusing?
03:26.
03:26.
03:27.
03:27.
03:27.
03:28.
03:28Press Secretary Leavitt says
03:30that the Donald Trump signature
03:33at the bottom of the page
03:34isn't really Trump's signature.
03:36Uh, let's do a side-by-side.
03:38Let's see Trump's actual signature on the left
03:41and on the right.
03:43That is Trump's supposed signature from the birthday card.
03:46And now, if you look at both with your eyes squinted,
03:49it still looks like a match in 3D.
03:51.
03:51Everybody is saying that those signatures match
03:55and that they're real.
03:56Yep.
03:57And the Republicans are going, uh-uh.
03:59They're real.
04:00The Republicans are saying that there's one more thing
04:03that they need to prove that the signature is real.
04:06Photographic evidence that the men knew one another
04:08and were friends during this period?
04:10.
04:11.
04:12.
04:12It's easy to forget how much of this story
04:15happened in plain sight.
04:17Uh, for example, let's take a look at this VH1 clip.
04:20Uh, this thing's from 2007.
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08:23.
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08:25Trump is still walking around unbothered.
08:27Question to the panel.
08:29Why is he not bothered by any of this?
08:31Because he knows the Supreme Court has his back and his front.
08:37Trump is not concerned because he's got these people in his back pocket.
08:43Not all of them.
08:45He's got enough.
08:46Six of them.
08:46That's enough.
08:48Amy Coney Barrett was in an interview earlier this week.
08:51They asked her a simple question.
08:53It's a yes or no question.
08:55Here's what Coney Barrett said.
08:57The 22nd Amendment says you can only run for office for two terms.
09:01True.
09:02You think that that's cut and dry?
09:04Well, that's what the amendment says, right?
09:07After FDR had four terms, that's what that amendment says.
09:11Well, you know what this means.
09:12This means a fifth term for FDR.
09:17I think that's what that means.
09:19I like it.
09:21Amber and David watched the clip,
09:23and you tell me, what is the story?
09:26Okay, this story is clearly about a woman being in labor,
09:30but she doesn't have a job.
09:32So she goes to the Federal Reserve and starts stealing,
09:35but she gets fired and she's unmarried.
09:38I think it's about the state of our economy.
09:41Ooh, la, la.
09:42Yes, points to you all.
09:44Points, points, points.
09:45The story is what's happening with the U.S. economy.
09:47Stocks are up, the jobs are down, inflation's up,
09:50Trump is pissing, deregulation means the billionaires are eating good.
09:54I think we got footage of the billionaires eating.
09:56Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys.
09:59Earlier this week, the Bureau of Labor Statistics put out revised data for the 12 months through March.
10:07Does anyone know how many jobs they'd previously reported went up in smoke?
10:12It has to be less than what actually happened, right?
10:16So they said 12, but it was really...
10:1914 million.
10:20Right.
10:22I just feel like you're just going to agree with David the whole night.
10:24I enjoy him already.
10:27The data showed that employers added 911,000 fewer jobs in the 12 months through March.
10:35Don't worry, the bad job numbers are not bad news for Trump.
10:39Caroline Leavitt, whose husband is 32 years older than her.
10:44Caroline Leavitt had this to say.
10:46About the revised data.
10:47March 2024 to 2025 shows that the job growth was vastly weaker during the Biden administration.
10:54She's not wrong.
10:55The job numbers that were being talked about are primarily through Biden's term.
11:00And she's not wrong.
11:00The job numbers were revised downward several times during his term.
11:06But what she's wrong about is everything else.
11:12She's got a fun energy, though.
11:14She does have a fun energy.
11:15She reminds me of, like, when you're in the bathroom and some stranger at a club is, like,
11:19digging you up and just, like, she's committed.
11:21You get back out there and you get to dancing.
11:24Yeah, that's the vibe.
11:26Leavitt went on to say that this proves we need new leadership at the Federal Reserve.
11:31Does anyone know what roadblock the administration hit this week in their quest for a new Fed?
11:37I believe they were not allowed to fire Lisa Cook.
11:40Oh, yeah, that's true.
11:43Now, look, I know it seems like I'm just saying everything David says.
11:47And to a degree, that is true.
11:50But this time, I do honestly think that what he is saying is right.
11:54For the record, I was just guessing.
11:56For the record, he was just guessing.
12:00I've never seen a team more correct but less confident in themselves.
12:04On Tuesday, a federal judge blocked the Trump administration from firing Lisa Cook,
12:11saying their claims that Cook committed mortgage fraud prior to taking office
12:16were likely not sufficient grounds for her removal.
12:20How many members of the Trump administration
12:22appeared to have committed the same kind of mortgage fraud that they're accusing Lisa Cook of?
12:29Oh, come on.
12:30We know the answer to that.
12:32All of them.
12:32A report last week said that at least three of Trump's cabinet members
12:38call multiple homes their primary residences on mortgages.
12:43Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-Dorema,
12:46EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin,
12:48and Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy.
12:51But not to worry, Trump is filling any empty seats on the Federal Reserve.
12:54His newest pick for the Board of Governors is economist Stephen Myring.
12:58Looking here, trying to hold it together
12:59after losing in a Stanley Tucci look-alike contest.
13:02During his confirmation hearings, he told the Senate Banking Committee that he would
13:08only take an unpaid leave of absence as chair of Trump's Council of Economic Advisors
13:14if confirmed as a temporary Fed Governor.
13:17His term as Trump's economic advisor would be over well before...
13:23Are you counting Trump's third and fourth term?
13:25I am not.
13:26I was not, and I apologize for that.
13:28I didn't take any...
13:29While we're on the subject of houses, which Trump cabinet member did this
13:33beautiful Charleston, South Carolina, stucco mansion belong to
13:37until they sold it earlier this year?
13:40Kid Rock.
13:40It's Treasury Secretary Scott Besson, seen here, watching his favorite TV character say Bazinga.
13:50Does anyone know what Treasury Secretary Scott Besson recently told a fellow administration
13:56official as reported by Politico this week?
13:58I do.
13:59Michael, this is great news for us.
14:00Michael, this is great news for us.
14:01I believe it was something like, I will punch you in the effing face.
14:05Michael.
14:06That's what he said.
14:07There's no way he said that.
14:09It's this man's job to represent us that he's not out there.
14:17Threatening people.
14:19Correct him.
14:21He right.
14:24Besson confronted Federal Housing Finance Agency director Bill Pulte saying,
14:29quote,
14:34Besson was angry that Pulte was talking smack about him to Trump and said,
14:38quote,
14:39Why the fuck are you talking to the president about me?
14:41Fuck you.
14:42I'm gonna punch you in your fucking face.
14:47Then continued on and added,
14:49I'm gonna fucking beat your ass.
14:52People heard this?
14:53Yes.
14:54But that's not the wild part.
14:55Let me show you a picture of the man.
14:57He was talking this mad shit to.
14:59Oh, my God.
15:02Remember the Bulldog from the Tom and Jerry cartoon?
15:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:06Who y'all got in the fight?
15:08Besson and Pulte.
15:09Yeah, the Bulldog.
15:11The other guy looks like Alan Ruck, that actor.
15:14One person went out of his way to avoid a fight in the Oval Office this week.
15:18Which tech CEO was recently caught on a hot mic making sure he didn't anger the president?
15:25It's Elon Musk.
15:26No.
15:27Was it Tim Cook?
15:28Tim Cook.
15:29No.
15:30You're getting closer, though.
15:31Was it Dane Cook?
15:35Was it Zuckerberg?
15:36Zuckerberg.
15:37Yes.
15:38Zuckerberg was with Trump last week during a White House dinner for the titans of Silicon
15:41Valley.
15:42This is what happened.
15:43How much are you spending, would you say, over the next few years?
15:46Oh, gosh.
15:47Um, I mean, I think it's probably going to be something like, I don't know, at least $600
15:53billion through 28.
15:55Sorry, I wasn't ready to do it right now.
15:58I wasn't sure whatever you wanted to do it.
16:01Oh, my gosh.
16:04Whenever I get stressed about the economy, I'm like, did you hear they found a planet
16:09that's made of diamonds?
16:10So why can't we just get that and fix everything?
16:13I just want to get clarity.
16:15Yeah.
16:16Your suggestion for helping the economy is to get the diamond planet.
16:21Yes.
16:22And bring it to Earth.
16:23Yes.
16:24Get the diamond planet, grind it up, boost the economy.
16:28May has a completely different internet.
16:31Zuckerberg seemed to have, you know, was wanting Trump's approval to make sure he got
16:36the answers right.
16:37That was crazy.
16:38But at least Trump didn't ask Zuckerberg if he drinks coffee.
16:40You drink coffee, man, or no?
16:42Nah.
16:43Really?
16:44Yeah.
16:45I mean, you've had it.
16:46I have.
16:47Sometimes on vacation, I'll drink it recreationally.
16:48It's like every once in a while.
17:14Welcome back to Hope I Got News For You.
17:16It is time for the offend-o-meter.
17:18Here's how it works.
17:19This is the offend-o-meter, the index of everyone who's made people mad this week.
17:24Teams have to tell us who's the offender, what they did, and who they offended.
17:29Let's see your offender.
17:32That's Rand Paul.
17:33Indeed.
17:34That is unofficial deputy due spokesperson Rand Paul.
17:39Who did old Rand offend?
17:42He pissed off the Trump administration this week, I want to say.
17:46This was about the boat.
17:47He said, you can't just go around blowing up boats in international waters because you
17:53think they might be carrying drugs.
17:56That is a violation of due process and a war crime.
17:59And the Trump administration was like, come on, Rand.
18:03Have you got the topic?
18:04Who was Rand targeting those words to?
18:06Looking at that picture, it looked like he was saying, I'm a big boy.
18:11His curls are just too cute.
18:13It's cute.
18:15I'm going to go with Secretary of State Marco Rubio.
18:17This week, Rand Paul offended factory reject Labubu vice president, J.D. Vance.
18:26You look like a Labubu.
18:27He really does.
18:29Rand called out the vice president over the government's recent strike on a Venezuelan
18:34boat they claimed was running drugs.
18:37When someone on Twitter told Vance the bombing was a war crime, the VP replied, quote,
18:42I don't give a shit what you call it.
18:45Is that real?
18:46That's real.
18:47What is happening?
18:48It's a war crime.
18:49I don't know.
18:50I can't believe that you guys do this show every, like, do you feel like you're living
18:54in a...
18:55In a nightmare?
18:56Yeah.
18:58It's not supposed to be like this.
19:00Right?
19:01That's how it's supposed to be having fun.
19:03J.D. Vance says he doesn't get a shit about a possible war crime that led fellow Republican
19:07and Senate Homeland Security Chair Rand Paul to post, quote, J.D., I don't give a shit.
19:13Vance says killing people he accuses of a crime is the highest and best use of the military.
19:19Did he ever read To Kill a Mockingbird?
19:23I remember that part, To Kill a Mockingbird, like, oh, yes, and then Boo Radley got hit
19:27with a drone.
19:30Question to the panel, where was the boat headed?
19:33Well, it had to have been headed here because they blew it up.
19:36Just give me a direction.
19:37You know where Venezuela is on the side?
19:39North.
19:40It was coming north.
19:41It was coming here.
19:42How are you sure it was coming here?
19:43Just because it was going north, it was coming here?
19:44You're sure about that?
19:45Yes.
19:46You're sure?
19:47Yes.
19:48You're convinced right now?
19:49Yeah.
19:50You're prepared to tell this courtroom that you are sure unequivocally that the boat was
19:54for sure headed to American soil?
19:56Five.
19:57Not Cuba.
19:58You're under oath, Amber.
19:59I ordered the code red.
20:02The answer is nobody's sure where the boat was going.
20:10At first, Secretary of State Marco Rubio told reporters the boat was likely headed to Trinidad
20:16and Tobago, but then Trump said it was coming to America, so Rubio changed his story.
20:22Rubio then asked Trump for permission to use the bathroom.
20:26All right.
20:27Who's this offender?
20:28That's your dad?
20:29That your dad?
20:30Yeah.
20:31That is retired Army Colonel Mark Beeger.
20:35Who did Colonel Beeger offend?
20:37He offended his bottom teeth by never showing them.
20:44Beeger offended Miracle on the Hudson Pilot, Sully Sullenberger himself, Tom Hanks.
20:49Oh.
20:50By canceling an award ceremony where Hanks was going to receive West Point's Sylvanas
20:59Thayer Award.
21:00The award recognizes citizens who didn't go to West Point, but stand for the ideals of
21:05the school.
21:06Duty, honor, and country.
21:09So, why do we think that Tom Hanks...
21:13America's Sweetheart.
21:15Tom Hanks.
21:16Also, radical communist scum, by the way.
21:20It definitely not because Tom Hanks said anything negative about the Trump administration,
21:24right?
21:25All the Academy has said is, quote, this decision allows the Academy to continue its focus on
21:32its core mission of preparing cadets to lead, fight, and win as officers in the world's
21:38most lethal force, the United States Army, the most respected military force, and we will
21:44now send them to Chicago to pick up trash.
21:47We could say that West Point was trying not to get involved in partisan politics or whatever,
21:54and that might have been fine if Trump didn't then take credit and praise him for it two
21:59days later.
22:00The president posted, quote, our great West Point, getting greater all the time, has
22:05smartly canceled the award ceremony for actor Tom Hanks.
22:10Important move.
22:11We don't need destructive woke recipients getting our cherished American awards.
22:17I'm biting my tongue so hard right now about a certain recipient of the Presidential Medal
22:23of Freedom to, uh, but I'm going to continue biting my tongue.
22:28Ooh.
22:29You know, I would like to bite my tongue.
22:34Mm-hmm.
22:35I don't deserve to finish the sentence.
22:41But, you know, I'm also mad about Gloria Gaynor getting the fucking Kennedy Center award.
22:49You're mad about that?
22:50Yeah.
22:51He survived.
22:52You know what?
22:53I was wrong and you're right.
22:58But what is woke about Tom Hanks?
23:02Maybe in Turner and Hooch.
23:04If Tom Hanks had shot Hooch like Kristi Noam would have, then they would have been like,
23:10we got to get this boy a trophy.
23:15Let's see your offender.
23:17Who is this offender?
23:18Stanley Tucci.
23:19He offended the other countries in Europe by not tasting their pasta.
23:30That is Andy Goldberg, the former CEO of Publishers Clearinghouse.
23:36Who did Andy offend?
23:38Oh, y'all.
23:39I ain't never gonna believe this.
23:41So a little while ago, um, Publishers Clearinghouse stopped giving people money.
23:48Like, remember all those times they were like, you are gonna get $5,000 a week for the rest of your life.
23:52All those people are like, where's my money?
23:55They've quit their jobs.
23:56It's been years since they last had a job.
23:58Too fucking bad.
23:59Your $5,000 a week is gone.
24:02Isn't that bananas?
24:03Wow.
24:04Explain to the people in here under 30.
24:07In olden times, there was a man named Ed McMahon.
24:14Now, everyone in America would receive this big brown envelope and in it, it would say, here's your chance to get $5,000 a week for the rest of your life.
24:23And your mom would be like, ooh, she would fill it out and send it in.
24:27Now, she wouldn't win, but someone would.
24:29They would go live with cameras to their house and a big thing of balloons and the biggest check you ever saw and be like, here, this is your money for the rest of your life.
24:36It would be like if Steve Harvey came to your house and gave you a Venmo.
24:42That's right.
24:43Anyway, this is the guy that they stopped paying.
24:47John Wiley of Southern Oregon figured he was set for life.
24:51Earlier this year, John expected his forever prize payment to arrive, as it always did, $260,000 direct deposit.
25:00But the money never came, and in April, Publishers Clearinghouse filed for bankruptcy.
25:06Now, everybody remembers Publishers Clearinghouse, but besides handing out the big checks, what was their business?
25:11How was it that they were able to get money?
25:13It had something to do with magazines, I know that.
25:14Yes.
25:15Yes.
25:16Magazines.
25:17That's how they got money.
25:18Well, they made all that money by selling magazine subscriptions?
25:20Yes, door-to-door magazine subscriptions.
25:22I know.
25:23Then print slowly died, as in, you know.
25:26Sorry.
25:27I mean, I'm not here to victim blame.
25:30These people got the money, they deserve the money, and you can manage your finances around
25:33somebody promising you that.
25:35But if a dude from Blockbuster Video came to your house, and he goes, hey, man, I'm going
25:41to give you money every week for the rest of your life, Blockbuster Video, and then you
25:46start noticing there ain't no more Blockbuster Video, at some point, you got to be like, hey,
25:52dog, you still got my money, and then you can plan accordingly, no?
25:56I got confused.
25:57I thought we were talking about Social Security again.
25:59That was the Fender Meter.
26:03It's time now for Missing Words.
26:17Here's your headline.
26:20Blank crashes through sliding door, loiters inside of house.
26:25Mother-in-law.
26:27But it's really going to be something like a deer, right?
26:31It's always a fucking deer.
26:32They can't stay outside.
26:34Partial points.
26:35I'll take that.
26:36Wild boar crashes through sliding door, loiters inside of house.
26:41A Florida man named Edward Wells was sitting in his home quietly working when this happened.
26:48Bang before you know it, the door exploded and sounded like a bomb going off.
26:55Edward Wells is face-to-face with this wild boar.
26:58Shattered glass is 14-year-old dog barking in the background.
27:01And this boar wasn't giving hogs or kisses.
27:07This little piggy cried, wee, wee, wee, all the way into this house.
27:12Now, you would figure on its surface that would be a traumatizing enough situation
27:17because wild boars, they are very dangerous creatures, but the family is taking it in stride.
27:22Just listen to that man's daughter.
27:25You just have your whole life go, kabroom, welcome to the Twilight Zone.
27:29There's a giant boar in your house, broken glass and blood on the floor.
27:34And how are you going to deal with this?
27:37I love her.
27:39Can she be our daughter?
27:42Guest next week on this show?
27:45I want a biopic of her.
27:48Yeah.
27:49You mean a biopig of her?
27:51Oh!
27:52Oh, yeah!
27:54Oh, here's your headline.
27:56Canadian man arrested for DUI while driving blank.
28:00Moose!
28:01Moose!
28:03It's gotta be a moose!
28:04It's gotta be a moose.
28:05Canadian man arrested for DUI while driving kid-sized pink Barbie Jeep.
28:11Oh!
28:12Okay.
28:13Is it that big of a deal that you can't drive a kid's power toy drunk?
28:19I don't see how you could drive one sober.
28:21Yeah, true, true.
28:22Barbie Jeep, you're driving that without a martini, you're fucking up.
28:26What?
28:27We got a clip.
28:28Here's the story.
28:29On Friday, a Prince George man was pulled over and arrested right here after he was seen
28:38driving a child-sized pink Barbie Jeep down this busy road.
28:41Man, I just wanted to get the Slurpee.
28:44I got lazy.
28:45I didn't want to walk.
28:46Yeah.
28:47Look.
28:48That's our other guest next week!
28:50Oh, my God.
28:51That is our other guest.
28:52I love that guy.
28:53I love that guy!
28:54So, you want Barbie Jeep Man with Boar House Daughter?
28:57Yes!
28:58Boar House Daughter.
28:59Tell me you wouldn't watch that.
29:00That'd be a good podcast.
29:01Yes.
29:02A minimum.
29:03All right, well, the man is Casper Lincoln, and as he reads his ticket, Lincoln insists
29:10he did the best to follow the law.
29:12Model number?
29:13Barbie Jeep.
29:14Color pink.
29:15I'm going to, like, three clicks.
29:18He's like, I did all, I did my hand signals and everything.
29:26All right, yeah.
29:27Pink Jeep and Boar Lady should meet.
29:29Yeah.
29:30They should have a podcast for sure.
29:33Here's your headline.
29:38Man blank during Cranford Town Hall meeting to protest rising property taxes.
29:45Oh, I saw this!
29:47I saw this!
29:48He breakdances!
29:49Yes!
29:50Yes!
29:53Man breakdances during Cranford Town Hall meeting to protest rising property taxes.
29:59Now, I know what you think, that there's more to this story,
30:02and it's not just what it said.
30:04There ain't nothing else to say.
30:06It's exactly what it is.
30:07Behold.
30:08Mr. Thilly, I started your time.
30:09Wow.
30:10Yeah, boy!
30:11Yeah!
30:12Yeah!
30:13Yeah!
30:14Yeah!
30:15Yeah!
30:16Yeah!
30:17Yeah!
30:18Yeah!
30:19Yeah!
30:20Yeah!
30:21Yeah!
30:22Yeah!
30:23Yeah!
30:24Yeah!
30:25Yeah!
30:30Yeah!
30:33Only one person in that clip respected the artistry.
30:43And if you aren't convinced New Jersey property taxes should be lowered
30:50after seeing that, here's his closing argument.
30:54Did you know I can do the backspin?
30:57Anybody?
30:58You want to see me do the backspin?
31:00I can do the backspin.
31:02I can do the backspin.
31:32One is true.
31:34You have to guess which is the truth and which are awful, heinous lies.
31:38Let's get it started.
31:39Time for three facts about former New York City mayor and human skull some kids found behind a TCBY.
31:49Rudy Giuliani.
31:50Our facts are he makes his dentist sign an NDA.
31:55He once caused an airplane evacuation with his flatulence.
31:58He announced he was separating from his wife in a press conference without telling her.
32:05See, I know it's not number one because look at that picture.
32:09He's not going to the dentist.
32:12It is number three.
32:14His wife did find out about their separation in a press conference.
32:17May?
32:18Yeah, that rings true.
32:20In May of 2000, Rudy Giuliani announced he was separating from his second wife in a press conference in Bryant Park,
32:27which is also how she found out.
32:29Which, honestly, a press conference is the second worst way to find out you're getting dumped by Rudy Giuliani.
32:35In person is number one.
32:39His third divorce, this time from Judith Nathan in 2019, this divorce was also a total mess.
32:46So, watch the clip.
32:47Rudy Giuliani and Judith Nathan's marriage ended in 2019 amidst rumors that, once again, Giuliani was cheating.
32:55Page Six quoted a source claiming Giuliani had boasted of an affair with a woman who was well-endowed.
33:02What?
33:03Wait.
33:05Isn't there a relevant Borat clip about this?
33:08Yes.
33:08Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:09Oh, my God, I forgot about that.
33:11Guys, guys, you've got to go watch Borat.
33:15Fuckin', that did happen.
33:18Do we have that picture of Giuliani?
33:20Oh.
33:29He just lays there and you have to do stuff to him.
33:34Oh, yuck.
33:36Time for three facts about Wednesday actress Jenna Ortega.
33:40Our facts are, she performed autopsies on animals as a child.
33:45What?
33:45She makes snow cones with tomato juice.
33:49Mm.
33:49She made a PowerPoint presentation to ask her parents to give her a sibling.
33:53Aw.
33:54Which one is the truth, Team Michael?
33:56I want it to be snow cones with tomato juice.
33:58That would be disgusting.
34:00Yes.
34:00Yeah, yeah.
34:01Yes, yes, yes.
34:02I feel like I would have heard about autopsies on animals.
34:04You would have heard if she was a serial killer.
34:06Yeah, exactly.
34:07Yeah, yeah.
34:08We're going with sibling.
34:10And here's a PowerPoint on why.
34:14Jenna Ortega performed autopsies on animals as a child.
34:20Here she is explaining in an interview with Wired.
34:23I'm a weirdo in, like, the, uh, used to perform autopsies on little animals when I was younger.
34:30Like, little lizards that I found that were dead in my backyard.
34:32She's incredibly well cast in that role.
34:36Yeah.
34:36Seriously.
34:38All right.
34:39Time for three facts about my Betty Rubble, Rosie O'Donnell.
34:43Mm.
34:44Our facts are she has a collection of over 2,500 Happy Meal toys.
34:49She eats pesto every day.
34:51She holds the patent on fidget spinners.
34:54No way.
34:55One is true.
34:56Happy Meals, McDonald's.
34:58Fun hobby.
34:59Yes.
35:00Yeah.
35:01We're going with Happy Meal toys.
35:03And that's why you're wrong.
35:06Because it is three.
35:08Rosie O'Donnell holds the patent on fidget spinners.
35:12Oh, you're an asshole.
35:13She does not.
35:16Answer.
35:17Rosie O'Donnell has a collection of over 2,500 Happy Meal toys.
35:22All right, let's play a little game.
35:26I'm going to show you a McDonald's toy, and you tell me whether it was worth 10 bucks or
35:32100 bucks.
35:33Oh.
35:33First toy, the Kerwin Frost Golden McNugget Buddy.
35:38Is it $10 or $100?
35:40I mean, it's made of gold, so it's $100.
35:42$10?
35:43We're going to take the under.
35:44Oh, it's a piece of garbage, yeah.
35:45We're going to take the 10.
35:45Yeah, piece of garbage.
35:45Absolute garbage.
35:46A Kerwin Frost Golden McNugget Buddy is $100.
35:51Yeah.
35:53Yes.
35:53You guys know what Kerwin Frost is?
35:55It's none of y'all business.
35:57You can't afford it.
35:58It's $100.
36:00You can't afford it.
36:03All right, next up, what about this little gold McDonald's Happy Meal box?
36:08$10.
36:08$10.
36:09$10.
36:09$10.
36:10It has to be $10.
36:11Little gold McDonald's Happy Meal box is $10.
36:14Fun fact about the Happy Meal box, they put one of those on Trump's pillow every night before
36:20you go to bed.
36:22Okay, what about this sealed Talking Minion Caveman McDonald's toy?
36:28I'd pay $100 for that.
36:31I would pay $101, $102, $103.
36:35It's my listing, so I know.
36:37The Talking Minion Caveman toy is $100.
36:47$100 for a minion.
36:49That price is bananas.
36:52That was Lycurious.
36:54More after the break.
36:54Welcome back.
37:07It's time for Odd One Out.
37:09I'll show everybody four pictures.
37:11You have to guess which one sticks out like a rose in the concrete slab that used to be
37:15the White House rose garden.
37:16Here's your group of four.
37:19We have George Clooney, Kim Cattrall, Elon Musk, and Peter Thiel.
37:23Who was the Odd One Out?
37:25Who's Peter Thiel?
37:26He's a techno-fascist who bankrolls the Trump administration.
37:29Got it.
37:30Okay.
37:30Okay.
37:31I feel like three of them play jazz or something.
37:34Because you know Kim Cattrall does scat.
37:37Have you seen the video?
37:37It doesn't matter.
37:38What does she do?
37:38She does this, like, freestyle.
37:41She goes, I know it off by heart.
37:43She goes,
37:44Like that.
37:49Oh, my God!
37:51Why do you know that?
37:53I don't know.
37:55Guesses on this side.
37:56Who do you think is Odd One Out?
37:57I think it's George Clooney.
38:01Okay.
38:01I'm going to say it's Peter Thiel because he recently told the New York Times that he was
38:04not sure that humanity should continue to exist.
38:07Well, he's right there.
38:08No.
38:11The odd one out is George Clooney.
38:14Kim Cattrall, Elon Musk, and Peter Thiel all have triple citizenship.
38:19Peter Thiel is a citizen of the United States, New Zealand, and Germany.
38:24And he's also a citizen of whatever bacteria he originally sprouted from.
38:30Does anyone know what countries Elon Musk is a proud citizen of?
38:35South Africa.
38:38Canada.
38:38The States.
38:40And I'm just going to take a wild guess and say Germany because they're going to want something.
38:44I was going to say that.
38:46They have a pretty big one that's got going on, you know?
38:48Elon Musk is a citizen of South Africa, the United States, and Canada.
38:53Wow.
38:54In Canada.
38:54And now, in Canada's defense, earlier this year, over 230,000 Canadians signed a petition calling
39:00for Musk's citizenship to be revoked.
39:04In response, Elon wrote on X, quote, Canada is not a real country.
39:09Former Sex and the City star, Kim Cattrall, also has the old citizenship three-peat, Liverpool,
39:17England, and moved to Canada as a baby.
39:19And in 2020, she became a citizen of the United States so that she could vote in that election.
39:25But she does have one talent that wasn't on the citizenship test.
39:32Are we going to see it?
39:34You want to see it?
39:34Please.
39:35Just roll the clip.
39:36I read poetry and sonnets, and he plays the upright bass.
39:55It's kind of a mantra for me at this point that I just sit soothing.
39:59That was Out One Out.
40:06Welcome back.
40:07It's time for Which is Higher?
40:10I'll give you two unrelated numbers in the news.
40:13You tell me which is higher.
40:16The sale price of the original prop lightsaber used by Darth Vader in both The Empire Strikes
40:21Back and Return of the Jedi, or the sale price of Travis Kelce's Kansas City home at which
40:29Kelce posed to Taylor Swift.
40:32It has to be the lightsaber.
40:34It has to be, because nerds make money.
40:39How much could his house in Kansas City cost?
40:42Ooh!
40:45The auction sale price of Darth Vader's lightsaber was $3.6 million.
40:51Wow.
40:51And the 2023 sale price of Travis Kelce's Kansas City home.
40:56His house is worth $5.9 million.
41:00Oh!
41:00Yes!
41:01The sale price of Travis's home is higher.
41:05Is there any piece of movie memorabilia you all would pay a million dollars?
41:10Um, E.T., like the original-
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