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Gastronauts S02E04 (2025)
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00:00Tonight, three culinary professionals compete in cooking challenges prepared by your favorite comedy podcasters.
00:05We, the asteroids, them, the gastronauts!
00:15I'm your host, Jordan Myrick, and joining us in Mission Control tonight are Scott Ackerman.
00:20I might need to put another notch in my asteroid belt after this.
00:26Lauren Lapkus.
00:27Let's see if these chefs can bring home the beacon.
00:31And Paul F. Tompkins.
00:32Nothing is faster than the speed of light except the service of this place!
00:35Mission Control, are you ready to meet your gastronauts?
00:38Yes!
00:39Please welcome Bita Mohajiri, chef and founder of Beats Eats Kitchen.
00:43She's cooked for celebs like Lenny Kravitz and Tyra Banks, so it's safe to say that we're the hottest people she's cooked for.
00:48Chef Bonotto, chef and co-owner of Embers and Ash.
00:51He left his professional kitchen to merge his love of barbecue with the outdoors and now with outer space as well.
00:56And Anthony Rodriguez, chef and culinary instructor.
01:00Growing up as a Navy kid, he found comfort in family meals.
01:03Well, chef, like we always say, when you're here, we're family.
01:07Gastronauts, your challenges today will take you through the cosmos of cooking.
01:10And if you succeed, you'll walk away with an actual, literal, real-life piece of the moon.
01:14What? Did we get that too?
01:17That's amazing.
01:18Gastronauts, your first challenge comes from Scott.
01:21I really enjoy doing word puzzles, but my wife hates it when I do them at the table.
01:27So my challenge to you is to make a dish that incorporates a puzzle that I can solve while I eat it.
01:34This is called a delicacy wrapped in an enigma.
01:42Gastronauts, you will be judged on taste, creativity, and if Will Schwartz would like this meal.
01:46You have 30 minutes starting now!
01:55How often do the chefs fall in love?
01:57You know, I don't know because we don't do much follow-up, so it could be 100% of the time.
02:01But how much do you see it happening?
02:03Most of the times, at least one judge will try to get with at least one chef.
02:07That makes sense.
02:07So if any of you are looking for new love today...
02:09Sure, why not?
02:10Yeah!
02:10This is a professional environment.
02:12My wife and I have a thing where...
02:13You can have sex with anyone you want.
02:15No, our marriage is closed unless one of us goes on a cooking show.
02:19What are you making, Chris?
02:20I am making...
02:22Making a meatloaf cupcake.
02:24With the frosting?
02:25The frosting's gonna be the whipped potatoes.
02:27Oh, I love it.
02:28And I'm gonna inject it with my gravy.
02:33Okay, we got some meat going.
02:36Is there any ingredient that you really hope someone uses in this challenge?
02:39I hope they apply heat to some of these ingredients.
02:41Okay.
02:42As to cook them, probably.
02:44Now, are they not wearing the big hats because they...
02:47You're not...
02:47Obviously, you would be concealing a rat.
02:49And where are the rats that are helping them?
02:51The rats are underneath them.
02:52I see.
02:52So it's a reverse ratatouille where they're pulling the leg.
02:54Exactly.
02:55Yeah, so they're on the shoulders of the rats.
02:56It's a Tudorati.
02:57Yeah.
02:57It's a Tudorati.
03:00My interest in puzzles is...
03:04I'd put it maybe at the beginner to intermediate.
03:07I love them.
03:07I'm not good at them, per se.
03:09I knew most of my brain time was gonna be taken up with trying to figure out what to do.
03:13So I just decided to go very, very simple.
03:16We're gonna do a really good Meyer lemon tart, a little Swiss meringue,
03:19and then a really good sugar cookie down on the bottom.
03:21I'm seeing rock tuna.
03:23I see it, too.
03:24Scott, what kind of puzzles do you like to do?
03:26I do crossword puzzles.
03:28I do the wordle, the spelling bee.
03:32Why do you like them so much?
03:34I'm trying to stave off Alzheimer's.
03:38Chef Rodriguez, what are you stirring?
03:40This is lemon curd.
03:41Can I ask what is a curd?
03:43Hold on that.
03:43I'm gonna go to the kitchen and find out, and then I'll bring that information back to you.
03:46Thank you very much.
03:47I need some intel on that.
03:47Just talk amongst yourselves while I'm gone.
03:48Can you just ask what has occurred?
03:50What has occurred?
03:51In all of human history, what has occurred?
03:54Hello, chefs!
03:55Hello!
03:56What are you making today?
03:57I am doing a Chinese five-spice sesame seared ahi tuna and a smashed cucumber salad, and
04:02then we have three different sauces.
04:03So one is black garlic balsamic, the other one is a yuzu aioli, and then we'll do an avocado
04:09cilantro crema.
04:10And you'll have to, like, guess what the sauces are, and then also the words will be jumbled up, so they'll have to, like, puzzle piece the letters and hope for the best.
04:19Do you guys know any riddles?
04:20Yes.
04:20What has four legs today?
04:23Even better.
04:23Two legs tomorrow.
04:24Oh.
04:25And then three legs for the rest of your life.
04:28What crawls in the morning.
04:29Yeah, what crawls in the morning.
04:30What crawls in the morning.
04:31Sits at noon.
04:32Gets up at 12.15, falls down at 12.16, presses their life alert button at 12.17, and rides off in an ambulance at 12.30.
04:43A worm.
04:45Oh, you guys are really good at this.
04:46Yeah.
04:47Treppanotto.
04:48Hello.
04:48How are you?
04:48What's going on?
04:49How you doing?
04:50Look at this fun apron.
04:52What are we doing here today?
04:53So I got everything's cooking right now.
04:54Okay.
04:54I got potatoes going and a bear monte.
04:57I'm going to whip the potatoes up with a bear monte.
04:59Do you like puzzles and word games?
05:01I like, like, fun brain teaser type stuff.
05:03You know, I don't think I set out and read my little puzzle book.
05:06Sure, like a nerd.
05:07It's fun, you know?
05:08I got to stay sharp mentally, you know?
05:10Yeah.
05:10So, like, try.
05:12I enjoy it.
05:12The biggest reason why I wanted to book you on this show is because you used to work
05:16at the Beetlejuice restaurant.
05:17Yes, I was the corporate chef for that company for almost six years.
05:20People kind of call me the Beetlejuice of this show.
05:22Really?
05:23I love that.
05:23Yes.
05:24What did you do for Beetlejuice that you will also be doing for me?
05:27Anything you want.
05:28I mean, you know.
05:29And that's what I like to hear.
05:30Anything you want.
05:31Perfect answer.
05:32All right.
05:33Are you baking?
05:34I am baking.
05:34What are you baking?
05:35We're making sugar cookies.
05:36Very, very bold to bake in such a short period of time.
05:38It's an easy recipe.
05:40You know, there's only three or four things in here.
05:41So, I'm not too worried about it.
05:43And what goes better underneath, like, some curd and some berries than just, like, a nice
05:47crispy tart or cookie?
05:49Lastly, I want to know.
05:50I heard that you have fun riddles or brain teasers for people.
05:54Sometimes.
05:55Okay.
05:55I want to take one back to the judges.
05:57Do you have a hard one I can take back to them?
05:59Fantastic.
06:00It's the riddle of the sphinx.
06:01Okay.
06:03Okay.
06:03I brought a riddle back.
06:05I brought a riddle back.
06:07It's from Chef Anthony.
06:08Okay.
06:09She Anthony.
06:09What walks on four legs in the morning...
06:12Did you already do this?
06:15Four legs in the morning.
06:16This is brand new.
06:17What is it?
06:17Okay.
06:18Four legs in the morning walks on two legs in the afternoon, and it walks on three legs
06:25at night.
06:25Can we say it at the same time?
06:27A guy with a huge dick.
06:29Chefs, you have 15 minutes left
06:33Just waiting for things to cook
06:35I can't cook it any faster
06:37Everybody get your steps in today
06:42Anthony is baking a tart, a cookie of sorts
06:46He says it'll only take him 12 minutes to do
06:49When I was in there, he was just starting to mix up the batter
06:52Did you find out what a curd was?
06:54No, I forgot, I'm sorry
06:55Am I doing a bad job on this episode?
06:57Am I?
06:59So here I'm injecting the gravy inside the meatloaf
07:04Chef Benojo wouldn't even tell me what he was making
07:07He wants it to remain a riddle for all of us
07:10Oh wow, so we're supposed to guess what it is when we get it?
07:12Maybe, I'm sure he'll explain more when he delivers
07:14But I know that there's a whipped potato
07:17Yum
07:17And that it's going to be very delicious
07:19Great
07:20Chef Bita is doing tuna with multiple different types of sauces
07:24And I know the sauces play into the puzzle of it all
07:28Okay
07:28Oh, puzzle sauce
07:30You guys ready to blast off with this brain teaser puzzle making beast of a dish or what?
07:37I hope so
07:38Chefs, you have five minutes left
07:40You ever just cooked a perfect potato?
07:46What is Chef Anthony painting onto what appears to be a napkin?
07:51Anyone else freaking out?
07:52No, no, you're good, Chef
07:53Are you okay?
07:55All right, Chefs, you have one minute left
07:58It looks like cupcakes that Chef Bonotto is doing
08:00But he keeps saying mashed potatoes
08:02Is the riddle, how is a cupcake like a mashed potato, Batman?
08:10Chef, can I help you with anything?
08:11Yes
08:11What can I help you with?
08:12Oh, this is so sweet
08:13Chef Bonotto is helping Bita right now
08:15Oh
08:15That's really nice stuff
08:17Helping each other
08:19All right, you want to count them in from ten?
08:22Yeah
08:22Sure
08:22All right, Chefs, you have ten
08:25Nine
08:26Eight
08:27Seven
08:28Six
08:29Five
08:30Four
08:31Three
08:32Two
08:33One
08:34Hands down
08:36Dishes down
08:37Hands up
08:38Also
08:38I like it
08:39Well done
08:40Good job, Chef
08:40Thank you
08:42All right, Scott, are you ready to try your dishes?
08:44I'm so excited
08:45Okay, all right, everybody follow me
08:46We're going to go to the dining pod
08:48Gastronauts, your challenge was to create a puzzling dish for Scott
08:52Let's see what you did
08:53Bita, you're up first
08:54So I have made a Chinese five-spice sesame-seared ahi tuna
08:59with a smashed cucumber salad
09:00And then you have three different dipping sauces
09:02But you are to, one, unscramble the letters to figure out the mystery word
09:06And also guess what the three sauces are
09:09Okay
09:09Well, get to unscrambling, Scott
09:11Yeah, it's your favorite thing to do
09:13Okay, let's see
09:13I see
09:15Is there a C here?
09:17No
09:18No
09:18Okay, because it had all the elements of Scott
09:20Can I give you a hint?
09:21Sure
09:22You know?
09:22Yeah
09:23I'll put what goes first
09:25Okay
09:26That's your first one
09:30Groundhog
09:33Gastronauts!
09:34Yeah!
09:34That's so fun!
09:38Okay, first of all, the tuna is perfectly cooked
09:40I'll start by saying that
09:41Thank you
09:41Green, the green sauce is dill?
09:45No
09:45I don't know
09:45I'm so sorry, no
09:46Is it boogers?
09:48Could be
09:49I'm getting some balsamic out of this
09:51Close
09:51Balsamic vinegar?
09:53Is that closer?
09:53Getting warmer
09:54Balsamic vinegar from the store?
09:57That's it, you got it!
09:58Okay, so the black sauce is a balsamic and black garlic
10:03And then we have, the yellow one is a yuzu aioli
10:08And then we've got a charred jalapeno and cilantro avocado green
10:13I think this is so fun
10:15Also, I would say sauce is probably my favorite category of food
10:18Yeah, I'm a salty girl
10:19Yeah, so having three different sauces
10:21I think is not only delicious, but really fun
10:24I thought it was so delicious
10:25And I liked the puzzle
10:26I just loved it
10:28This is a home run all the way around
10:30Vita, what a wonderful job
10:32Thank you so much
10:32Great job!
10:35Chef Bonotto, what do you have for us?
10:37Alright, so this is kind of more of like a brain buster, brain teaser
10:40I'm giving you food that looks like something that it's not, okay?
10:44You gotta figure out what it is
10:45So I'm calling this a savory cupcake
10:47So it looks like I'm eating a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting
10:52Yes, I like that
10:53I'm gonna be surprised
10:54Eat it
10:55I mean, the idea is it should taste like a home-cooked meal
10:58That you all have probably had at least once in your life
11:00Is it meatloaf?
11:01Meatloaf and mashed potatoes
11:03Nailed it
11:03It's so fun
11:05Nailed it
11:05It's yummy
11:05It's delicious
11:06It's really hitting the spot for me
11:09Thank you
11:09It's really good
11:10Thank you
11:10I injected the meatloaf with an awful gravy
11:13So you gave this a hot beef injection
11:15A hot beef injection
11:17We've all had those
11:18They're very big in Hollywood
11:19I think it might be the best meatloaf I've ever had
11:21Because I do think you think of meatloaf as being kind of like
11:23Oh, it's meatloaf
11:25And this is really good
11:26Thank you so much
11:27Definitely giving me warm feelings of days gone by
11:31It's not really much of a game
11:34But it is, like the presentation of it is beautiful
11:38Chef Bonotto, thank you so much
11:39Thank you so much
11:40Anthony, you're up next
11:41So, I really thought about doing a lemon curd tart
11:46And while I was putting everything together
11:48I dropped it all and it landed on the sheets
11:51And I had the order of how to make it
11:54And then I lost it
11:55So your mission is to discover what ingredients to use
12:00And what order to stack it
12:01And if you get it correct, I will set it on fire for you
12:04Whoa, how cool
12:07Wow, there's a clue next to me, which is this very hot iron
12:11There is
12:12So underneath your napkins, a little stack of napkins
12:14There's a message on there
12:15Maybe put it under some of the towels
12:17And then use the iron to reveal
12:20Whoa, it's invisible ink
12:22Oh, wow
12:23How fun, right?
12:25Yeah, yeah
12:25And so give it a nice little heating
12:27I have never done this in my life
12:29I can tell
12:30Never
12:30I was going to say
12:32Am I doing it right?
12:33You're fantastic
12:34The technique is amazing
12:35That's going to be the most pressed napkin in the world
12:38Okay, this is one D
12:39Yeah
12:40So D we have
12:41Oh, so it's one D
12:42Okay, okay, so one is D
12:44Hurry, put a cookie on your plate
12:47I don't have a plate
12:48We need two more plates
12:49We only have ten minutes of air
12:51That's not a P, Lauren
12:54That's not a P, that's an R
12:55And this is R, that makes sense
12:58You deserve it
12:58Okay, got a little curd
13:00Three P, four
13:02Derp
13:03Three P
13:04So that would probably be this
13:06Oh, berries, okay
13:07Yeah, so those are macerated berries, yeah
13:09Some of these are red herrings
13:10That is correct
13:11We're not eating the lemon
13:11Not all of those ingredients are being used
13:14The baby have berries
13:15Okay
13:15Baby needs berries
13:16All right, okay
13:17And if you've solved it, I get to finish it
13:19Oh, great, come on over
13:20Start lighting them on fire
13:21Yay
13:22I'm going to go ahead and take this
13:23And we're going to get this going
13:25And we're just going to torch that marshmallow cream
13:28Oh, this is fun
13:31What a reward
13:32I love it, it's very tasty
13:34And I really love
13:35I love the puzzle
13:36The puzzle was really fun and exciting
13:38I thought it tastes delicious
13:40I thought you really went ham on the puzzle situation
13:43Anthony, I think you did a great job
13:45Thank you so much
13:45Thank you very much
13:46Thank you, thank you
13:46And chefs, you all did a wonderful job
13:48Thank you so much
13:49Get back to the kitchen so we can do the next round
13:51Yes
13:52Go, go, go, go
13:53That was all really yummy
13:55I thought that they did a very successful job with those puzzles
14:02I agree
14:03Yeah, it was really fun and tricky
14:06I do think Anthony went the hardest
14:09Ironically, I felt like Chef Binotto
14:11Who did the weakest at the puzzle
14:12I enjoyed his food the most
14:14What's more important to you, the challenge or the taste?
14:17I don't know that any of this is important to me
14:19Well, with that, let's see if Lauren cares
14:21We'll see what happens
14:23Chefs, your next challenge comes from Lauren
14:25I'm a busy mom of two
14:27And I often find myself eating my kids' food
14:29Make me an adult gourmet version of a kid's meal
14:32Something that can go in the microwave
14:34And be heated up in mere seconds
14:35This is Lunchable Dolt
14:37What?
14:40Gastronauts, you'll be judged on taste, creativity, and microwaveability
14:44You have 30 minutes starting now!
14:46Now!
14:49What they're essentially recreating today is a kid's cuisine
14:56You're all familiar?
14:58Yes, I remember those commercials
14:59No!
14:59No, what is it?
15:00Really?
15:00Yeah
15:01I don't know what this is
15:02A kid's cuisine is a frozen meal
15:03The box is blue
15:04There's a penguin on it
15:05You've probably seen it at the store
15:06Does it come in a tray like that?
15:07It comes in a tray like that
15:08Which they will be plating in today
15:10Oh!
15:11So they'll be plating in a kid cuisine tray
15:13With multiple different sections
15:14And they will have to microwave the entire dish
15:16Dessert, sides, entree, everything
15:18Wow!
15:23I totally remember eating these kids' cuisine
15:26With a penguin on it, right?
15:27I super remember those as a kid
15:29So this is definitely my recreation of the one that I always used to have
15:33With the chicken nuggets, the brownie, pretty classic
15:37Typically the families that I work for, they always have children
15:40And it's like, oh, make something fun for them out of this pancake
15:43My parents would leave my brother and I alone as children
15:48And we were allowed to then cook our own TV dinners with an oven, you know?
15:54Gen X was a generation without babysitters
15:56It was just like, don't do anything wrong
15:58Seems like it would be kind of fun
16:00Oh, it was, don't get me wrong
16:01I had a great time
16:02Yeah
16:03I started my own business
16:04What was your business as a kid again?
16:05I was selling insurance to local, it was extortion
16:09It was a protection racket, it sounds like
16:11Alright, well I'm gonna head to the kitchen and see if the chefs need any insurance
16:14And then I'll be back and let you know
16:15Okay, great
16:16Are you really going there or are you just trying to get away from us?
16:19Oh my god, she hates us
16:21Hello, chefs
16:23Hello
16:23Okay, we're putting flour on meat
16:26Corn starts, yeah, we're making chicken nuggets
16:28Any seasonings?
16:29Yes, so we've got onion powder, garlic powder, a little paprika and mustard
16:33Delicious, okay
16:35And are you gonna serve them with a dipping sauce?
16:36Dipping sauce, hot honey
16:37I wanna know, do you eat food out of the microwave at home a lot?
16:40All the time
16:41Do you think the microwave is a good chef's tool?
16:42I do
16:43I love it, okay, I agree with you
16:44Alright, I'm seeing meat over here
16:46Chef Vinodo, what do you got going on over here?
16:48So, um, as a kid, I remember the kid's cuisine, you know, the little penguin on there
16:53Yeah, of course, I was obsessed
16:54And I remember the one with the nuggets
16:56Yes
16:57And the brownie
16:57Yes
16:58And the mac and cheese
16:59Yes
16:59I'm doing a street corn elote, so that's my play on the corn
17:02Delicious
17:02Doing a truffle mac and cheese
17:04And, um, I got a fudge brownie, and I'm gonna do a ginger caramel sauce for you
17:09Okay, Chef Vinodo, thank you so much, that's good to know
17:11Thank you, thank you
17:11Anthony, what are we working with over here?
17:13We're making a cake batter
17:14Yum, what kind of cake?
17:16From scratch?
17:17Yes, from scratch
17:17You're not using a box mix
17:18No, not at all
17:18Is that to shade your other competitors?
17:21100%
17:21Okay, I love that
17:22I also see tacos
17:23Go big or go home
17:24Yes, so fish tacos, I love fish tacos
17:26And I remember kids' cuisines having fish sticks
17:28Fish sticks, yes
17:29Yep
17:29I do want to know, a lot of people have big feelings about fish in the microwave
17:32You know what?
17:33If it's a kid cuisine and we're making it a little nicer
17:35It's gonna be fantastic
17:36Okay, chefs, well, everything smells and looks great
17:39I'm clearly in the way
17:40So I'm gonna head out, okay?
17:41See you later
17:42Bye
17:43Bye
17:48Caviar
17:48Okay
17:51Yeah, that's very sweet
17:52It was almost every night
17:53Okay, judges
17:54Oh, jeez
17:55We weren't doing anything
17:56All right
17:57We weren't talking about you
17:59Were you?
17:59No
18:00No
18:00I have a question for all of y'all
18:02Yeah
18:02How do we feel about fish in the microwave?
18:06Nasty, nasty boys
18:08Nasty, nasty boys is the response to the microwave?
18:11Yeah, I think that's actually really gross
18:12And I hope it's not happening right now
18:14Fish sticks are fine
18:15I remember I had a day job as a telemarketer
18:18Which was one of the bleakest periods of my life
18:21And I was in the break room
18:24But I remember I was heating something up in a microwave
18:26And an older gentleman
18:27Who was one of my colleagues
18:29Said, oh, you shouldn't do that
18:33You shouldn't do that
18:33Because it keeps cooking inside of you
18:35And I've never stopped thinking about it
18:38Chef, you have 15 minutes left
18:40With the Japanese karage-style fried chicken
18:44Usually you're using rice flour
18:46Which allows it to be a lot more flaky, lighter, crispy
18:51Also, instead of like cornstarch
18:53You can use potato starch
18:54Katakuriko
18:56So yeah, just a little bit difference in the ingredients
18:59I am just going to cook some tasty broccoli
19:03Because I feel like broccoli has such a bad rep to it
19:06It's like known as like the, you know
19:07The thing that nobody wants to eat
19:09But really it's so good
19:10Two different chefs are doing preparations of elote
19:15As their corn element
19:17I don't know what that is
19:18Oh, I love that
19:19It is a Mexican corn dish
19:20Where you take corn
19:21You fire roast it
19:23You can slather it with some butter
19:24Some mayonnaise
19:25Some cheese
19:25Chili powder
19:26I've seen it written down
19:27But I've never heard it out loud before
19:29Chef, about how long you got in that fryer?
19:31Do you need the fryer too?
19:32Yeah, buddy
19:32Two minutes at the most
19:34Apparently every single one of the chefs needs the deep fryer
19:38There's only one?
19:39There's only one deep fryer
19:40So they're not fighting per se
19:43But things are getting tense in the kitchen
19:43This is where it gets Lord of the Flies
19:44We're going to get a long jam
19:46Chef, you have ten minutes left
19:48Chef, can I get in somehow?
19:51Yes
19:51Only if it's cooked
19:52If it's raw
19:52Yeah, let me check
19:53But I want to
19:54The idea is coming back
19:56Yeah, they're good
19:56I want to come back at the very end
19:58If that's okay
19:58When you guys are done
19:59Yeah, you guys
20:00Thanks, chef
20:00Well, what's that being chopped in the upper right?
20:03Jalapeno
20:04Uh-oh, I'm worried about that
20:05Why?
20:06Well, sometimes things are too spicy for me
20:07Too spicy
20:08It seems like they're making everything spicy these days
20:11Oh, this is a good bit
20:12This is a good bit, too
20:13I like spice
20:13Okay, so
20:14Okay, these days
20:15Everything's spicy these days
20:17Especially when it comes to our politics
20:19People up in Washington are just like
20:23Up in Washington
20:24Where are we?
20:27Right?
20:28I'm seeing a tiny bag being sprinkled into a bowl with Kewpie mayo
20:32What's in that bag?
20:33What's in Chef Anthony's tiny little bag?
20:35Also, what's Kewpie mayo?
20:36Kewpie mayo is a Japanese-style mayonnaise
20:38That's a little bit richer, a little bit sweeter
20:39I've realized I don't know a lot of food words
20:42Okay
20:43When I was trying to guess the sauce
20:44And I said, I'm getting a balsamic
20:46And Chef Bita was like, very close
20:49And then the other thing that I was missing was black garlic
20:53Yes
20:53I didn't know that was a thing
20:54Yeah, it's a type of garlic that almost has a balsamic-like flavor
20:58Then why would you blend them together?
21:01Okay, Gastronarchs, you have five minutes
21:03Let's bring in those microwaves!
21:16All right, so they're flying the microwaves in
21:20And soon they will be microwaving their lunch adultables
21:24I think we changed it to adult cuisine
21:26Adult cuisine
21:27Actually, kid cuisine?
21:29More like adult cuisine
21:30Carmel, baby
21:33Oh my god, you guys
21:36My Rice Krispie is not crispy
21:38Chef Anthony's eating something
21:42I think that's cheating when you're a chef
21:43So when I watch, I think that any time I see a cooking competition show
21:48It's like you're getting the answers before a test
21:51That's actually maybe the hottest food take I've ever heard in my life
21:54I don't like the idea of, like, I'm about to eat something
21:57And a chef has stuck their dirty fingers into it
22:00Now why do you think they have dirty fingers?
22:02I see that, though, on other competition shows
22:05Where they're just like, okay, this is good, this is good
22:08And then they're waving it over the pot
22:10Oh, were you watching No Utensils?
22:11Yes
22:12Yeah, that show's wild
22:13One deep fryer
22:17That's the clincher to this challenge
22:19Chefs, you have one minute left
22:23Chefs, finish up those dishes because time is nearly out
22:27I see a nugget
22:28I see pizza's doing a homemade nugget
22:30I'm very interested in that
22:31I think it's playing it safe a little bit
22:33Having a fried, breaded thing
22:36Sure
22:36But just saying it is making me hungry
22:38You're excited to eat it
22:39Scott, I don't want to disappoint you
22:41They're all tasting their food
22:42Everybody's eating that
22:43Ah, cheaters
22:44Okay, do you want to count them in from ten?
22:46Yeah
22:46Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
22:57Hands up, microwave doors closed
23:00Let's have a meal
23:02All right, Lauren, are you ready to try your adult kid cuisine?
23:14I'm really excited
23:15Okay, let's go, let's all go
23:16Gastronauts, your challenge was to create an adult-pleasing kid's meal fit for the microwave
23:21Let's see what you did
23:22Anthony, you're up first
23:24So what we did was a fish taco
23:26With some pickled jalapeno and carrot on top with some cotija cheese
23:30Those are esquites, which is roasted corn
23:32You've got some cheese, mayonnaise, cayenne, chili powder
23:36And then I have a brown butter and vanilla siphon cake
23:40That cake was made in the microwave
23:42It's very light, very fluffy
23:43And then a tres leches sauce pour over top
23:46You've always got like a cake and something to put on top
23:49Is there Mexican oregano in the elote?
23:51Yes, there is
23:51Really nice touch
23:52I can taste it, I think that's so delicious
23:54But it's also an ingredient
23:55Really easy to go overboard with it
23:57I think it's delicious
23:59Also, I think this fish tastes great in the microwave
24:02I'm shocked
24:03I'm very shocked as well
24:04If there was a microwave that was big enough for a human to step in
24:08Would you be tempted to go inside?
24:10I would just want to see it for like 10, maybe 15 seconds
24:13And then
24:13It couldn't be that bad, right?
24:15Probably not, no, yeah
24:16The fish taco
24:16I'm not a fish taco person
24:18But I did eat it
24:20And it is good
24:21Oh, okay
24:21And the corn is really delicious
24:23I love elote
24:25And the cake was really spongy
24:27I'm really surprised that was made in the microwave
24:29I'm also not a fish taco guy
24:31I thought it was delicious
24:33Thank you
24:33And it made me feel immediately nostalgic
24:36Slash like I was in the hospital
24:38Every element of it is really, really good
24:40I think there could have been something on the fish taco
24:42To make it like a little more moist or seasoned
24:45Just because it is going in the microwave
24:47But overall, I would buy this frozen meal
24:49I thought it was really tasty
24:50Thank you very much
24:51Yeah, Chef Anthony, thank you so much
24:53Thank you
24:54Chef Bida, what do you have for us?
24:57So today I have made for you guys a chicken nugget with real chicken
25:00Hot honey sauce on the side
25:03Some garlic broccoli
25:05And an adult Rice Krispie
25:06So the Rice Krispie treat has ruffled chips and rosemary in there
25:10So it's almost like a savory, sweet, salty
25:12That's so fun
25:14So your variation on a chicken nugget is to use real chicken?
25:17Yes
25:17That's so interesting
25:19I think it tastes so good
25:20It almost tastes like dumpling filling
25:22Nice
25:22Like if you were to get a really good potsticker, gyoza
25:25Something like that
25:25Because that dark meat is so rich and delicious
25:28Also, broccoli
25:29Perfectly cooked, perfectly seasoned
25:31Thank you
25:31I think it all tastes really good
25:34This is another one that I would buy this
25:36I would eat this every day
25:37Oh
25:37Lauren, does this accomplish your challenge?
25:40Oh, hell yeah
25:40And I think my daughter might come close to this one
25:42Absolutely delicious
25:43Thank you so much, Chef Bida
25:44You're welcome
25:45Chef Bonotto, you're up next
25:47Hi, friends
25:48Sucking up to us already
25:49So as a kid, I remember the classic kid cuisine with the nuggets
25:55The brownie, the corn, the match
25:57So what I did for nuggets, it's karage style, Japanese style fried chicken
26:01With a little togarashi spice on there
26:03The mac and cheese is a three cheese blend
26:06There's truffle in there
26:07The brownie has a ginger caramel and smoked salt on it
26:12And then there's a street corn elote
26:15I think you said these have togarashi on them
26:17Yes
26:17I think it's a great move
26:19It's fun, it's spicy, it looks cute, I love it
26:22Oh wow, these have so much more flavor than I expected
26:24I'm from Detroit, so we know how to fry some chicken back home
26:27I didn't realize that was a stereotype of Detroit people
26:30Oh yeah, 100%
26:30I really love the strong chipotle flavor in your elote
26:35I think it's nice and spicy, it wakes you up
26:38And it is exactly what I think of with the classic kid's meal
26:41Thank you
26:41I think this one looks the most like a kid's cuisine
26:44But it's so elevated, which is really fun and exciting
26:47And that ginger sauce on the brownie is like
26:50I mean the brownie is so delicious and dense
26:52This was wonderful
26:53And the brownie, that's the dessert that I most associate with these
26:57And so it's great to have a take on those
26:59Thank you
27:00Lauren, how do you feel about the whole taste it?
27:03The whole thing was so fun
27:04This is like my dream come true
27:05Thank you so much chefs, you all did a wonderful job
27:08Now get back to the kitchen because you have one more round
27:10I'm really impressed with that children's cuisine
27:17Yeah, pretty incredible
27:18Delicious
27:18Do we have any frontrunners so far where we're like
27:21This is the person in my mind that I think might take this thing home
27:23I have a frontrunner in terms of flavor
27:26Tell me
27:27Which is Chef Binotto
27:28But ironically he was the worst in the puzzle
27:30So I don't know whether to disqualify him
27:33I have a frontrunner
27:35And the name goes Chef Bita
27:38That's actually what I was going to say as well
27:40But I thought that Chef Anthony did an amazing job with the first challenge
27:45Having to weave in a puzzle
27:47It sounds like it's kind of a three-way tie
27:49And we're going to put a lot of our eggs in the basket of this last challenge
27:53Paul, are you ready to explain your challenge?
27:55I am
27:56Gastronauts, your challenge comes from Paul
27:58Chefs, let me set the scene for you
28:01A summer night at the hour the lightning bugs come out
28:07That is the challenge
28:10This is a summer night at the hour when the lightning bugs come out
28:15There you have it, Gastronauts
28:18Your challenge is to do what Paul just said
28:20I don't understand it, so please don't ask me any follow-up questions
28:24You will be judged on taste, presentation, and summer nightness
28:28You have 30 minutes starting now
28:31Okay
28:32All right, so question
28:35Fireflies or lightning bugs?
28:36What?
28:37Aren't they the same?
28:37Fireflies or lightning bugs?
28:39Oh, it depends where in the country you're at, Chef
28:41That's what I'm saying, you guys
28:42If you're down south
28:43And in there, lightning bugs
28:45That's so beautiful and poetic
28:48What does that mean to you?
28:50What flavors do you expect?
28:51I don't know, because I'm not a fucking chef
28:53You know when you would catch lightning bugs as a kid
28:55And maybe not everyone relates to this
28:56But maybe you do
28:57We sometimes would squish them, okay?
29:00I'm picturing a sort of smushed neon color
29:03Oh, wow
29:03You know how, like, cool restaurants
29:05They'll put, like, a sort of, like, design on your plate
29:07Yeah, I know, but
29:08You don't like that?
29:09I don't want
29:10That's not the aspect that I want evoked
29:12You don't want a bug's ass on your plate?
29:15Hold on, I understand that
29:16You're doing it, Peter
29:19You're doing it
29:21I see some brown sugar being sprinkled into a bowl
29:23I see more corn being grilled
29:25I'll never be mad at that
29:26Feels like summer flavors
29:28I think I'm imagining something light
29:30But kind of comforting
29:31Which, if you're eating a meal around this time
29:34It's probably right before dinner, right?
29:35You're playing outside
29:36You kill all those bugs like Lauren did
29:38And then you go inside to your parents
29:39Now, Paul, you did play a bug
29:41On a different dropout show
29:42As a matter of fact, I did, Jordan
29:44I played David Hoyle Jr.
29:47A Midnight Louse
29:48On Very Important People
29:50Hosted by Vic McAless
29:51Did that inspire this challenge?
29:52Yes, because people were saying
29:54It was the best episode that's ever been done
29:55And I said, well, I want to honor that
29:57Of anything, yeah
29:58Wow
29:58Yeah, beat the Cheers finale
30:00Wow
30:00That's my favorite TV show ever
30:02I watched that over and over again
30:04I'm going to go to the kitchen
30:05I'm going to talk to the chefs
30:06About what they thought of Paul
30:07In the Cheers finale, okay?
30:08Okay, and we're definitely
30:09Not going to talk about you
30:11When you're gone
30:11Hello, chef!
30:13Hello!
30:14How's it going?
30:15How are you doing?
30:16Oh, we're seeing one of my favorite ingredients
30:17Scallop
30:18Oh, and tonic water
30:19Is that because tonic water can glow in the dark?
30:21It does
30:21Okay, I'm getting the bugs at night
30:23What are we doing here?
30:24I see scallops
30:25I see a beautiful brunoise
30:26Happening on these cucumbers
30:27I am doing a seared scallop
30:29With like a cucumber
30:30Pomegranate relish
30:32I think this feels really light
30:33And bright and fresh
30:34And summery
30:35And that is something that we were saying
30:36This kind of evokes that feeling
30:38Awesome
30:39Love it
30:39All right, hello!
30:40Hi!
30:41How's it going over here?
30:42Fantastic
30:42Is that graham cracker?
30:44Yes, ma'am
30:45Is this chocolate?
30:45Yes, ma'am
30:46Is it a pie?
30:47We're doing a play on a s'mores
30:48Okay
30:48So I'm going to do a brown butter
30:50Graham cracker crumble
30:51Yum
30:51I just whipped up our Nutella chocolate mousse
30:54Oh, yum
30:55And I'm going to
30:56Next step
30:57I'm going to make some marshmallow fluff
30:58And, you know, it's simple
31:00But like an elevated play on s'mores
31:02Do you have any lightning bug experience?
31:04You know, I'm from the Midwest
31:05And I do a lot of outdoor camping
31:08And things like that
31:09So when I heard that
31:10That's what I thought of
31:11I thought of sitting around a campfire
31:13With some friends
31:14You know, cooking some s'mores
31:15When the lightning bugs come up
31:17I love that
31:17That's delicious
31:18Okay, thank you so much
31:19I'm so excited
31:20Thank you
31:21Paul, this is such a generic challenge
31:22Is there
31:23It's a generic challenge?
31:25It could go in so many different directions
31:26Is that a better way to say it?
31:27If you buy generic soda pop at the store
31:30It doesn't go in so many different directions
31:32It goes in front of that
31:32I could only afford generic soda pop
31:34God, I'm so sorry, President Select
31:36But, Paul, is there something
31:37That you would be disappointed by
31:39If it were to be put on a plate?
31:40I don't think so
31:41I think this is
31:42As we like to say
31:43Much like pornography
31:44I'll know it when I taste it
31:45And you taste it
31:46What?
31:46All the time
31:47All right, this is peach
31:50This is peach
31:51Very, like, end of spring
31:53Early summer kind of vibe
31:54I think this challenge
31:55Feels very romantic to me
31:57In a weird way
31:58It's a very romantic idea, isn't it?
31:59Yes
32:00What do you think
32:01Is the most romantic thing you can cook?
32:04Oysters
32:04Oysters
32:05And you're cooking them
32:06Or you're leaving them raw?
32:07So, raw oysters are fantastic
32:09But if you've ever done
32:10Like a grilled oyster
32:11Yeah
32:11With the lemon and some hot sauce
32:13To make it spicy
32:13Okay, I haven't
32:14But I would love to
32:15All right
32:15Well, we'll talk later
32:16Okay, we'll talk
32:17Okay, you're right
32:17Okay, he's sending me away
32:19Okay, we'll talk later
32:20All right
32:20Thank you so much, everybody
32:21Okay, bye
32:23Bye
32:24This is a good bit
32:26That will not offend anyone
32:28No, people are gonna love it
32:29When they see it
32:31On the cutting room floor
32:31Oh my gosh
32:32Jesus Christ
32:34Gastronauts, you have ten minutes left
32:39Paul, do you have something in your mind
32:49That you hope
32:50Or initially envisioned
32:51As being part of this challenge?
32:53I think a chef has the soul of a poet
32:56And I think that they are going to understand
32:59What I'm talking about
33:02I disagree
33:03I think chefs don't have souls
33:05Wow
33:05I think they're soulless demons
33:07Okay
33:07And they will reside in hell
33:09After we're all gone
33:10You're very religious
33:11Yeah, you think most things are demons
33:13So did anyone here
33:20Like used to catch lightning bugs as a kid
33:23Or
33:23Wasn't that the sign of being a serial killer?
33:25I don't know, man
33:26That's pretty
33:27Yeah, yeah
33:30I used to
33:30Like in the backyard
33:31It'd be fun
33:32You try to catch them
33:32Put them in jars
33:33Yep
33:34Then you have a little lantern for yourself
33:37Would you ever want to compete on this show
33:40And someone else host it?
33:44No
33:44Put those glasses back on
33:46I am getting in my ear
33:48That they are wanting you to
33:49Like try out an audition to this show
33:51Like if you were to audition for this show
33:52What would your audition look like?
33:53Okay, Gastronauts
33:54You have five minutes remaining
33:56Did you press the button?
33:57Oh, shit
33:58Yeah
33:58Yeah
33:59Not so easy
34:00Okay, and then you broke the desk
34:01All right, Gastronauts
34:02You have five minutes remaining
34:03Again?
34:04What?
34:05He did the exact same thing
34:06I'm doing what you said
34:08Just take it and throw it away
34:09Can I audition now?
34:10I start back there
34:11All right
34:13Do you start like here at this thing?
34:14Yep
34:15And then you're just going to make your way to your seat
34:16Okay
34:16Now I'm going to do it like I'm talking to somebody over here
34:19But then I get interrupted
34:20Okay
34:21Ha, ha, ha, ha
34:23To niggit
34:25Three culinary professionals
34:29Compete in cooking challenges
34:32Prepared by your favorite comedy pukalsters
34:35We
34:36That's the steroids
34:38Damn
34:39The Gastronauts
34:40The Gastronauts
34:41Chef, you have one minute left
34:48Chef, you have one minute left
34:49Chef, you have one minute left
34:51Do you think the viewers like us?
34:55Oh, yeah
34:56I think the feedback on this episode is going to be that I was too mean to you guys
35:00Oh, really?
35:00Yeah, I think
35:01Are you usually nicer?
35:02No
35:02Okay
35:03That's just the feedback you get constantly?
35:06Yeah
35:06Okay
35:06Chefs, you have 30 seconds left
35:13Okay, so I'm seeing a liquid being smeared onto a plate
35:16This s'more does look very elevated
35:18I mean, it's literally elevated
35:20It's on top of a thing
35:21Okay, the blowtorch is out and they only have 10 seconds left
35:23Do you want to count them in with me?
35:24Yeah, here we go
35:25All right, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
35:34Hands down, blowtorches off
35:41Paul, are you ready to get into the ambiance of your challenge?
35:44Yeah, man
35:44All right, let's go
35:45Come on
35:46Wee
35:47Gastronauts, your challenge was to create a dish
35:51Based on a regional insect and a certain time of day
35:53Let's cue the lights
35:55Oh
35:57Yeah
35:58All right, Chef Bonotto, what do you have for us?
36:01So, what I have for you guys tonight is my take on s'mores
36:05There is a little campfire essence
36:07So, there is a brown butter graham cracker crumble
36:10Then a Nutella chocolate mousse
36:12And some homemade marshmallow fluff that I toasted for you guys
36:16Smoky campfire essence from the smoke underneath
36:19Now, Scott, I'm curious, you were not impressed by this plating
36:22Give me more
36:22You were not impressed by the plating initially before all the stuff was put in it
36:27Don't put words in my mouth
36:28You were being really, really, really rude
36:31You said whoever made this should go to the electric chair, is that correct?
36:34I wondered why it was being plated this way, and now I see the answer
36:38My only note is that the Nutella is a very strong flavor
36:43So, I feel like I lose the flavor of the brown butter and the marshmallow a little bit
36:48But that's like a picky technical note
36:50I think the dish is absolutely delicious, and the plating is beautiful
36:53Yeah, it looks so cool
36:54The plating was so cute
36:55And I like that the graham is all crumbly
36:57It's very fun to eat
36:59I would say it doesn't taste really like a s'more to me, for whatever reason
37:03Maybe there's not enough of the crumble, or maybe I wanted it to be a little more substantial
37:09It still evokes the s'more to me
37:11I know what Scott's talking about
37:13But texture-wise, crumbly cracker, the Nutella, and the fluff
37:19I think they all work together really well, and it's absolutely lovely
37:22I mean, I think this dish was just truly delicious
37:24Chef Minotto, thank you so much
37:26Thank you so much, guys, thank you
37:27Chef Anthony, you're up next
37:29So what I made was grilled scallops that I marinated with some citrus, honey, and a little bit of sriracha
37:35On the bottom of the plate is a roasted corn and carrot puree
37:39And then some microgreens with some flowers
37:42And you have some little pieces of gelée on the top of the plate that are a citrus gelée
37:48Kind of meant to mimic seeing fireflies in the sky
37:50Now when you say microgreens, do you mean small greens?
37:54I do, actually, it's very scientific
37:55They were specific when they named it
37:57The gelée is a really interesting texture
37:59Yes, it sure does
38:01Is gelée a fun way to say jelly?
38:04It's 100% a fun way to say it, yep
38:06When I first saw it, I thought it was beautiful
38:08Then I heard it was gelée, and I was like, I don't want to eat that
38:12But I really like the citrusy flavor of it, I think it's nice and bright
38:15Yeah, it's very, um, has a nice, like, fresh pop to it
38:19This is really doing it for me
38:21It, the combo of the scallops and the, um, the gelée and these microscopic greens
38:27Is really giving me a summertime taste
38:31Tell me if I'm crazy
38:32This is giving me more lunch, though
38:35Not dusk
38:37I would eat this up to probably 5.30pm
38:40Okay
38:40I would eat this as the sun sets
38:42It's giving me dusk
38:43Okay, so then I am wrong
38:45Yeah
38:46All right, well, this was absolutely delicious
38:48Chef Anthony, thank you so much
38:50Thank you very much, thank you very much
38:51Chef Tito, what did you make for us?
38:53And what is the interactive element I've heard about?
38:56So, I have made for you guys, um, some seared scallops
38:59With, uh, miso butter underneath
39:01A little bit of fried golden rice paper
39:03It's kind of like your summer blanket
39:05So you're gonna take the blanket off
39:06And give it a spray with what's in the spray bottle
39:09Um, and then we have a cucumber, pomegranate, and green apple relish underneath
39:13If we can get a blacklight going
39:15Oh, you can spray it now
39:16Oh!
39:17Oh!
39:18Okay, I see, I see
39:19Spray the top of this
39:20Spray the top
39:20Oh!
39:22Wow
39:22Oh!
39:24Cute!
39:25That's cool
39:25And what is giving this effect?
39:27The spray bottle has a tonic water in there
39:29And the tonic water actually glows in UV light
39:32Mmm
39:33I think that's delicious
39:36It's so fresh
39:37The miso butter with the yuzu in it
39:39It really needs that citrus
39:41Because it just livens up the whole dish
39:43It brightens the vegetables, but it also cuts through
39:45That kind of fatty richness of the scallop and the miso butter
39:48I think it's absolutely delicious
39:49It's wonderful
39:50The relish is also a little bit crunchy
39:52Yeah, it's cucumber, green apple, and pomegranate
39:54It really evokes summer to me
39:57The presentation was incredible and fun
40:00And, you know, it really does strike a mood for me
40:05That is really lovely
40:07Thank you
40:08Can I say that her touch with the glowing light
40:12Reminds me of my suggestion of what should appear on the plate
40:15At the beginning
40:16You all acted like I was so crazy
40:17She was talking about when she used to kill fireflies
40:20Yeah, that's why we didn't want to bring it back
40:22And the ooze of it
40:23Yeah
40:23Why isn't that big of a deal?
40:24It's horrible to think about
40:25Oh my god
40:26Well, I thought it was pretty
40:27All they want to do is light up the night
40:29Look, Chef Bita, thank you so much
40:32And thank you to all of our chefs
40:33This was so, so delicious
40:35Good job
40:36So fun
40:36It was so good
40:37Thank you
40:38Fantastic
40:38Gastronauts, you've made it
40:40But only one of you can soar as today's culinary comet
40:42And take home an actual, literal, real-life piece of the moon
40:45The judges will now conspire together to determine a winner
40:48And then whoever you choose, you'll come whisper to my ear, okay?
40:51Yeah
40:51Can we say confer instead of conspire?
40:53No, it's evil what you're doing
40:55Thank you so much
41:05Yeah, man
41:06All right, can I get a drum roll, please?
41:08All right, and the winner of today's episode of Gastronauts is...
41:15Bita!
41:17Yay!
41:18Yay!
41:19Good job, Chef Bita
41:22You did an incredible job
41:23Thank you
41:24How do you feel?
41:25I feel great, this is lovely
41:26I'm so glad you like your trophy
41:28I love it
41:28And congrats on your win, judges!
41:30Yes!
41:31Did you know that you've been being judged this entire time?
41:34No
41:35That's right
41:36The chefs have conspired together to determine which judge had the most fun and creative challenge to prepare
41:43So chefs, please conspire together for a moment to determine who is the winner of this
41:47And that person will take home an actual, literal, real-life piece of the sun
41:51All right, can I get a drum roll from the chefs, please?
41:55And the winner today is...
41:58Lauren!
42:00Lauren, come on!
42:01I'm so excited
42:03How does it feel to be a winner, Lauren?
42:05It feels absolutely incredible, thank you so much
42:07There you go
42:08Wow
42:09Wow
42:09Cheers to you
42:10Well, congrats to our champion and a big bang of applause to everyone involved today
42:17And remember, home gastronauts, whether you are gliding through the galaxy of edible goodness
42:21Or just grating cheese on top of a bowl of chili, boldly cook what no one's cooked before
42:26Good night!
42:26Yay!
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