- 2 days ago
Davey & Jonesie's Locker Season 1 Episode 10- There's No Place Like Homeostasis - FULL
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I wouldn't even worry about Carl taking so long.
00:13I'm sure it has nothing to do with the deliberation of your case.
00:17He probably has a bathroom problem.
00:20If his stomach's anything like mine is, he definitely does.
00:25Oh boy.
00:27Yeah, I have a gluten issue.
00:34Hey, um, you're not mad at me for reporting you, right?
00:41Because I would hate that.
00:43I really was just worried about you.
00:45You know, as a friend.
00:51Sorry for the hold up, folks.
00:53I had a severe bathroom problem.
00:56So, after extensively reviewing your file and going over the evidence that you submitted, management has decided to remove you from case 6689 effective immediately.
01:09Andy, that case goes to you.
01:11Oh, wow. I mean, yeah, if I could be of help, I'd...
01:15What? Are you serious?
01:18What about Schneider's involvement?
01:20In the meantime, I have recommended that you undergo a full psych eval, followed by a mandatory leave of absence.
01:27After which, you are welcome to reapply for the elite squad.
01:31After you have closed another 100,000 cases for the juvenile department.
01:36And that's, like, normally without freaking out and screwing it all up for everybody again.
01:41I thought it went really well.
01:57I thought so too.
01:58So, we're ready to go back to our boring regular school and the epic mess we left behind.
02:09Let's assuming we don't immediately get separated first.
02:12Maybe they'll see how wise and worldly we've become and forgive us immediately for ruining the dance.
02:21Maybe.
02:25Hypothetically, if there was...
02:27Ow!
02:28Yeah.
02:29All right.
02:30Now, all three of us should be able to go through the portal together.
02:35Now, a reminder, 6689 has been in stasis for a dangerously long time, so its structural integrity is quite fragile.
02:41Unfreezing it could cause any number of anomalies, which would lead Mom directly to us.
02:45All right.
02:46How about we just take our time?
02:49That's a great idea.
02:50You know, maybe we just chill here for a while, right?
02:52Cracking wise, eating fish, and not each other.
02:56Okay, what aren't you telling me?
03:04Yeah, let's go.
03:05Hey!
03:06Hey, you!
03:07You haven't even told us the story of how you ended up here on Bone Zone Island.
03:11It's gotta be a wild story with tons of twists and turns in length!
03:18You went through the locker and everything froze, except for me because I'm not technically of that world.
03:22I went to the lab to try and retrieve my holopen and contact the other Schneiders, but a dad showed up.
03:26I was almost captured, but I managed in the nick of time to rewire the device and beam myself out using an old Mom tech trick.
03:31I picked this universe to hide out in because I knew from the holo chatter that everyone here was already dead.
03:40After I'd taken a moment to mourn the loss of my portal, years of work, and any hope of re-syncing, I got to work.
03:46I rewired my device so that when you finally showed up, I'd be able to send us all back home through the locker, which is the only way to override the stasis protocol and restart 6689 manually without alerting Mom.
03:53And then that, what's that? Yes! Yes!
03:59Then all I had to do was reverse engineer the DNA coding of the locker, put up a beacon, and hope you would eventually show up, which you did. Following?
04:05Never. Never followed a word you said.
04:06It kinda just sounds like you're making up science.
04:08It doesn't matter. It's now time for me, Steven Simon Schneider, to go through my form.
04:14Hey, you know, that dad that you mentioned back in 6689, who was that?
04:18I don't know. They were wearing tactical gear.
04:21Just like a black helmet, terrifying walking style?
04:25Yes.
04:26Cheryl.
04:30Cheryl Mason?
04:31Yeah, she's kind of obsessed with this. From hate.
04:34What about me? Does she know the other Schneiders are involved in your whole whatever?
04:38Yes.
04:39Okay. Okay. We have to go now. We have to go now.
04:42Wait, aren't you gonna tell us about the two of you?
04:46Pass. Let's just go home, shall we?
04:49I sit and watch Chef Liquorice.
05:07Sealdore. Override code Mason 9716.
05:11Cry, cry, cry, cry
05:17I'm smiling through my teeth and I laugh and I judge
05:22I wonder why this isn't a cry, cry, cry, cry
05:41Cry, cry, cry, cry, cry
05:54It's beautiful
05:56Move it, newbie!
05:57Don't puke
06:01I think I know how to go through my own portal, thank you
06:11No more games, Davy and Jonesy
06:17I sit and watch at your current screen
06:21And let lights fill my eyes
06:24Oh, fuck
06:26Yup!
06:27First time I'll do that to you
06:29Then you get used to it
06:30Wow
06:32All faithful
06:33Did all the other Schneiders find you this annoying?
06:35No, they loved us
06:36Everybody does
06:41What was that thing that we optimistically said about everyone not being as mad as we remember?
06:54Good lord
06:55Does this look normal to you?
06:58Because I am performing a manual override here
07:01Every detail needs to be exactly as it was the night of the dance, the very moment before you went through
07:06Even the smallest change, your clothes, your hair, it can make all the difference
07:10The mascot heads
07:12Yup
07:15Where are they?
07:17Did we bring them into the portal with us?
07:19Because they're not in our locker
07:21Who cares?
07:22I mean, he's here, we're here, and the conditions are the same
07:24So, plus, this way we can unfreeze our world without facing any of the horrendous consequences of our action
07:33Okay, I know it sounds morally dubious and wrong when I say it, but I actually think that if I said it in a higher tone it would actually sound...
07:37Dude, I'm already on board
07:39Okay, we're ready
07:41What were you two whispering about?
07:42Tea time!
07:43Um, just changing bodies of young people and how we want to unfreeze our friends and hang out with them
07:48Okay, shall we? Let's go, come on
07:51You ready?
07:52Mm-hmm
07:59Let's do this
08:08You ruined the dance!
08:09You ruined the dance!
08:10You ruined my suit!
08:11This is the last straw girls! That mascot head stunt was beyond the pale!
08:14Oh, I'm so sorry, what? Mascot heads?
08:16Clearly the ones you just put in that locker!
08:18Diptional mascot heads, we could...
08:20Hello?
08:21I mean, look for yourself
08:22Hello?
08:23Hello?
08:24Hello?
08:25Hello?
08:26Hello?
08:27Hello?
08:28Hello?
08:29Hello?
08:30Um...
08:31Okay
08:32Ha-ha-ha-ha
08:33Who's that?
08:38Who's that?
08:42No, stop being...
08:48Why am I morgue?
08:50What is happening?
08:54Come back here, punk!
08:56I don't know! I don't know children! I don't know!
09:00Wait, who's that?
09:05Wait, who's that?
09:10WOOOOOOH
09:12Why the-
09:13Anomaly detected
09:14Anomaly detected
09:15Anomaly detected
09:16Anomaly detected
09:17Anomaly detected
09:18Okay, Cheryl, you're not beating yourself right now
09:20Open the door!
09:21Anomaly detected
09:22Anomaly detected
09:24To Eric
09:29Hold it up
09:30I don't know, but I think what's happening is that elements of other universes are bleeding into this one.
09:44Hello, girls.
09:51Recognize this detainer, Steven?
09:55Quite the powerful modification, isn't it?
09:57Don't worry, girls. I'm not going to send you to detention.
10:01I've got somewhere much more permanent in mind.
10:07Careful with that thing, Cheryl. You know it hasn't been properly tested.
10:10That didn't seem to bother you the last time.
10:27But you once said that the matter in each universe is finite. That's why the other Davian Joneses disappear once we show up.
10:37Yeah, I also said that the structural integrity of this world is compromised due to prolonged stasis, which is why if you try to unfreeze it with matter missing, like, say, two large mascot heads you failed to mention, it totally disrupts the basic physics and it allows anomalies to bleed through.
10:50Does it ever feel like the science rules are just, like, constantly shifting for convenience?
10:55Yeah, there's too much multiversal interference to contact the other Schneiders.
10:59Are you absolutely sure you have no idea what happened to the heads when you first went through?
11:03Oh, I'm sorry. We were just too busy getting sucked into the portal that you put in our locker.
11:07God, I should have known your unformed teenage brains would be far too worried about the irrelevant consequences of your petty little lives rather than the actual consequences of an interdimensional incident.
11:18Okay.
11:19Okay, yeah, well, those consequences are not irrelevant to us because, unlike you, we actually have friends that we care about.
11:26Oh, really? The same friends that you humiliated at the dance then lied to about it, putting their whole universe in jeopardy?
11:32Well, you are one to talk about putting people, places, and things in jeopardy in order to avoid facing personal consequences.
11:41Yeah, like, what is that weird detainer thing that Cheryl's using to zap things out of existence, Stephen?
11:46Nah, it's not technically out of existence. It's just an experimental dimension beyond unknown space-time from which no one has ever returned.
11:52Dude, what?!
11:54Okay, fine. You want to know about Cheryl and me?
11:57Yeah, we ask you every time we see you.
11:59We were not just colleagues at Mom.
12:02Okay.
12:04We were friends. Best friends, actually.
12:09That's the big reveal?!
12:11Oh, my God, why would you...
12:12We were waiting all season for this! Why would you sit on that?
12:14Oh, my... I honestly... I wish I didn't know.
12:16Me either.
12:17Okay. We met at the Academy. And neither of us were really fitting in, no?
12:22Because of your terrible personalities?
12:24Yes. But then, when we met each other, it was just like...
12:28It was like it was you two against the world and you could do anything as long as you did it together.
12:31We wanted to shake things up, you know?
12:36That detainer Cheryl had?
12:38I built that.
12:42It's part of my research.
12:44Into Dimension X.
12:46It would have changed everything. But Mom was too short-sighted to see it.
12:56And so was Cheryl in the end.
12:57Cheryl? Cheryl?
12:59No!
13:00She sold me out.
13:02No!
13:03Turned me in.
13:04You can't do this!
13:05And that's why I was desynced.
13:07Don't do this!
13:08Cheryl!
13:09How could you do this to me?!
13:12And that is the whole... that's the whole story?
13:15Yeah, there's no way that that was the whole story.
13:17All right.
13:18I have temporarily reversed the polarity of the portal, okay?
13:21So when you press this button, it will suck out all the anomalies like an airplane door.
13:24But it'll only last for a few seconds so you have to herd everything to the locker first, okay?
13:28And in the meantime, I'll deal with Cheryl.
13:31Okay.
13:36How are you supposed to do this ourselves?
13:38Hey.
13:39I thought you were the ones with friends.
13:59Look, it's me you want. Just let them go.
14:02I do kind of want them.
14:04Yeah, that's fair.
14:05Run!
14:08Go, go, go, go, go!
14:10Go, go, go, go, go, go!
14:11Go find your friends and run up the anomalies!
14:13You gotta find everyone!
14:21Override code 9214.
14:23Anomaly detected.
14:24Anomaly detected.
14:25Anomaly detected.
14:26Anomaly detected.
14:27Anomaly detected.
14:28Anomaly detected.
14:296-6-8-9?
14:30That should still be in stasis.
14:35Where was I?
14:36Right.
14:37The portal, anomalies, narrow escapes, a million different universes, blah-de-da-de-da.
14:41And that's what brings us to today.
14:44Make sense?
14:46I knew it was you two and those mascot heads.
14:50You are so dead.
14:51Wow.
14:52You're really focusing on the wrong part of the story here, okay?
14:55But yeah, if that helps, it was us.
14:57That was, um...
14:58It was our band, so...
14:59Yes.
15:04Look, we really screwed up.
15:06We shouldn't have ruined the dance, and we shouldn't have called you all sheep.
15:10Wait, that's what your weird performance was about?
15:12Yeah, like why were you dressed like a chicken and a horse?
15:14Yeah, even I thought that was weird.
15:17Okay, you clearly didn't get it.
15:19The point is, you are not sheep.
15:20You are our friends, and we're really sorry, okay?
15:25And we really need your help.
15:27Okay, but how are we supposed to hurt a bunch of anomalies or whatever they're called to your locker?
15:33That's the thing, is that we learned so much about you guys through the multiverse.
15:37Yeah.
15:38You guys are badass.
15:39Yeah.
15:40Like, Emile, we met a version of you that was the general of an army.
15:43Of sociopathic lobsters, but it was still cool.
15:46And, like, Joyce, you were this, like, rebel leader.
15:50And even Ciara, you were a grizzled fighter, and it was sick.
15:54And, Alexis, you were consistently cool in every single universe.
15:59And, Abbott, you were...
16:01You were strong.
16:03Physically.
16:04In a bunch of different ways that were often the same in pretty much just one note.
16:11Yes.
16:12Mm-hmm.
16:13What about me?
16:14No!
16:15No!
16:16No!
16:17No!
16:18Ah!
16:19Ah!
16:20Ah!
16:22Mark!
16:23You were there, too!
16:24And you guys, every time we worked together, we nailed it.
16:27Mostly.
16:28So, what do you say?
16:31Will you help us hurt all the anomalies back into our locker?
16:40You know what?
16:42I'm into the weird. It's very on-brand. Count me in.
16:47I am also in two.
16:50Let's do it.
16:51I'm in two.
16:52Welcome along for the ride.
16:57Looks like my schedule's clear.
17:03So, uh, what's the plan?
17:06I don't know. What's the plan?
17:07Right, what are we thinking? What are we at?
17:08That's scheme.
17:10There's no plan.
17:12Oh, my God, you're kidding me.
17:14Well, we're obviously not the planning types.
17:16Yeah, I mean, that's why we needed someone to rely on
17:19who is really good at planning.
17:23Okay, we'll move to the school and tease.
17:26Abbott, Mark, you take the East Corridor.
17:28Alexis and I will sweep the Southern Hallways.
17:30And Emile and Joyce, you take the Westway.
17:32All in on three.
17:34One, two, one!
17:38Yeah, and you know what? It looks like we've started,
17:40so let's get a move on, people!
17:43We've got some anomalies to get.
17:53Oh, my God!
17:55Yo, come out!
17:55Hey!
17:56Hi, everyone!
17:57I'm going to need you on a hustle out of here, okay?
18:00Hey, look for it.
18:01Over here.
18:02Over here.
18:03All right, go to the locker.
18:05Charge!
18:06Go, go.
18:08Hey, brunch lady, Rhonda.
18:12I am so sorry about this, principal neighbors.
18:16This is really weird for me, too.
18:18We just got to get you back in the locker.
18:19I haven't.
18:20You got this.
18:21Everyone be chill.
18:22Oh, my gosh, that vest.
18:24That is an exact replica of the vest I got in Mallorca.
18:32A bag of wet hair?
18:37There are 14 lighthouses.
18:39I've visited all 14 of them.
18:41Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry!
18:54Oh, not today, you enormous giant spider.
19:01Or my name isn't Mark Redshirt!
19:10Are you okay, buddy?
19:13Okay, that works.
19:29Y'all ready?
19:30Giddy up!
19:31Now you're back to the locker!
19:33There you go!
19:39Just rolling through, girls!
19:42Yikes.
19:43How did he get so big?
19:45I think he may have eaten a lot of people after he left.
19:49Come on, Cheryl! Can we talk about this, please?
19:54Sure.
19:56Why don't we start with how you sold me out and ruined my life?
20:03That's funny. That's not exactly how I remember it.
20:09See, what I remember is we were friends.
20:13And then I made the elite squad, but you didn't make the higher science team.
20:18And then you modified my detainer without my consent, causing me to send a wanted rogue asset to Dimension X.
20:25Wait, again with the Amelia Earhart thing?
20:27Yes, again with the Amelia Earhart thing!
20:30You tampered with my detainer!
20:35Steven, what did you do?
20:37I caught up with her and she burst into particles!
20:41It works!
20:42Yes!
20:43What works, Steven?
20:44Dimension X, like we said!
20:46What?!
20:47We talked about that!
20:48No, we didn't!
20:49Why are you upset?
20:50You used me for your own precious research!
20:53I'll say that.
20:55It was her!
20:57She's gone rogue!
20:58No!
20:59No!
21:00No!
21:01No!
21:02No!
21:03Ask her where Amelia Earhart is!
21:04Check her detainer right now!
21:05You lied to me!
21:07Don't!
21:08You...
21:09Okay, I shouldn't have...
21:10I shouldn't have done that.
21:12But I was not using you!
21:14I just...
21:15I wanted you to...
21:17What?!
21:18I wanted you to notice me!
21:21What?!
21:22After you made the Elite Squad!
21:24I never saw you again!
21:26You...
21:27Oh, you finally fit in somewhere!
21:29Meanwhile, I'm back to being that crackpot Schneider, too unstable for higher science!
21:34Nothing I haven't heard my whole life!
21:35And you...
21:36You just...
21:37You ditched me!
21:38It wasn't like that!
21:39I didn't ditch you!
21:40And you were struggling with that case!
21:42And she kept escaping!
21:43And...
21:45And I thought if I could just make it work!
21:47If I...
21:48If I could just...
21:49Help you!
21:50Then...
21:51Then we could...
21:52You know...
21:53Do what we always talked about!
21:54Take Mom by storm!
21:56Run it together!
21:58We still could have done all that, Steven!
22:01If only you hadn't been so...
22:04So what?
22:08Say it!
22:09You're crazy!
22:12You're crazy!
22:15Crazy.
22:17I am not crazy!
22:20I know.
22:22But you had just betrayed me.
22:24I only betrayed you because you betrayed me first.
22:30No, I didn't.
22:34I didn't turn you in, Steven.
22:37But...
22:39If...
22:42If you didn't report me to Mom, then who did?
22:51Ouch!
22:53Sorry, Office Buddy.
22:54You just went a bit...
22:56Crazy.
22:59Got her, sir.
23:01Yes, I'll find the two delinquents and bring them in.
23:07Ready?
23:08Let's suck up some anomalies.
23:09Let's suck up some anomalies.
23:10Let's suck up!
23:13Please.
23:15No!
23:17No!
23:19No!
23:22No!
23:25No!
23:27Ah!
23:29No!
23:30No!
23:32No!
23:34No!
23:36Get him!
23:40Take my hand!
23:41Take my hand!
23:42Take my hand!
23:43Three!
23:44Two!
23:45Grab it!
24:06Hell yes!
24:19Okay.
24:22Okay.
24:24Now we celebrate!
24:35Okay.
24:37Okay.
24:38Great.
24:39Okay.
24:40Can you?
24:41I can't.
24:42I can't.
24:43I'll be back.
24:44I promise.
24:45See you later.
24:47We're here!
24:54Hey.
24:55Hey.
24:56Guys.
24:57She's not here.
24:58You're alive!
24:59Okay.
25:00Guess what?
25:01We crushed him.
25:02Alright.
25:03You have to go find those missing mascot heads.
25:04Now.
25:05There's another dad here.
25:06And 6-6-8-9 will keep degrading unless the missing matter is returned.
25:11But what about you?
25:12And how are we going to find the mascot head?
25:13You've made it this far.
25:14You'll figure it out.
25:15And if not, one of the other Schneiders is going to have to help you.
25:18Because I have to stay here and handle things.
25:25But what about them?
25:26As soon as you go through, they're going to re-freeze and reset to exactly the way they were before the override.
25:31So we're not going to remember any of this?
25:33We're just going to go back to being mad at us?
25:36Yeah.
25:38Can you give us a minute?
25:40Yeah.
25:41Hey, guys.
25:44That was...
25:46That was really great work.
25:48I have to admit, that was kind of fun.
25:52Yeah.
25:53It was.
25:55But we have to go away for a bit.
25:58And, uh...
25:59But we just wanted to say thank you.
26:03For...
26:05Oh, my God.
26:06What?
26:07It's fine.
26:08We forgive you.
26:09We'll see you when you get back.
26:11Oh.
26:12Oh.
26:13Oh.
26:14Oh, it's...
26:15Okay.
26:16We're all getting in here.
26:18Oh, it's okay to cry.
26:24It's okay to cry.
26:29Davey?
26:30Oh.
26:32All right, look, I've put the coordinates for 6689 on the holo network, so as soon as you get the mascot heads, you can come straight back here, okay?
26:43you can come straight back here, okay?
26:45Whatever happens out there, I'm...
26:49I'm proud of you.
26:52And I've enjoyed getting to know you.
26:54Kind of.
26:55Yeah, man.
26:58Okay.
26:59You too.
27:01Also, could you mention that to the other Schneiders
27:03when you chat with them next?
27:04Because they think we're massive screw-ups.
27:06I thought you said they loved you.
27:07Love is a strong word.
27:08Oh, my God.
27:09Just get the mascot heads and get back here.
27:13Oh, my God.
27:39Hey.
27:40Hey.
27:41Is that Andy?
27:44Didn't we go to the academy together?
27:46Steven Schneider.
27:48Long time.
27:50Oh, man.
27:51Yeah.
27:52So, I mean, any insight into what the heck happened here?
27:56Uh...
27:58Uh...
28:00Um...
28:04Uh...
28:07Yes.
28:08Look.
28:10I built the portal.
28:12With the help of the other Schneiders.
28:14And we've been helping Davey and Jonesy escape Cheryl ever since.
28:17We finally got them home.
28:18And then...
28:19There were these missing mascot heads.
28:20Anyway, I sent the girls back through the portal so they could retrieve them and we could
28:24reset 6-6-8-9.
28:25Then after that, I and the other Schneiders will take full responsibility.
28:30Uh...
28:31For...
28:32For everything.
28:34Steven.
28:35Relax.
28:36None of that is necessary.
28:37Or happening.
28:38What?
28:39Gosh, and to think all those crazy stories Cheryl said about you were true!
28:55Twist alert!
28:57Hey.
28:58It was you!
29:10Oh, farts.
29:13It was me.
29:15So, Cheryl!
29:16What have you done with her?
29:18How did you get that?
29:19Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
29:20Cheryl!
29:21Cheryl!
29:26Oh, boy.
29:28Oh, boy.
29:29Oh, boy.
29:34Disgusting vermin.
29:41Oh, Cheryl!
29:42Got some bad news about your buddy, Schneider.
29:52Oh, farts.
29:58Woo!
29:59So, what you're saying is Cheryl attacked you and murdered Schneider-6689, then locked the universe so the girls can't get back.
30:15You have full discretion to use whatever resources or force is necessary, but hurry and be discreet, because if 6689 stays locked in stasis for much longer, it may have to be decommissioned for good.
30:36Open encrypted file, Andy's dandy manifesto.
30:37Hmm.
30:38Hmm.
30:39Hmm.
30:40Hmm.
30:41Take your time, girls.
30:42I am in no rush.
30:43So, bad news.
30:44We have no idea where the mascot heads are.
30:45That is very, very bad.
30:46That's absolutely garbage.
30:47Full sooth lamentable tragedy.
30:48I got lunch with Pitt.
30:49There.
30:50Uh.
30:51He'srogant.
30:52A little bit.
30:53Hmm, take your time, girls.
31:03I am in no rush.
31:07So, bad news, we have no idea where the mascot heads are.
31:11That is very, very bad.
31:13That's absolutely garbage.
31:15Full sooth, lamentable tragedy.
31:17I got lunch with Pit this morning.
31:20We're gonna get in so much trouble.
31:21My specialty in this situation is panic.
31:23You know, harsh tokes.
31:24This sounds like a YP and not an MP.
31:27Your problem, not my problem.
31:29Understand?
31:30Well, it looks like the girls are going back
31:34into the key change.
31:36Multithel!
31:51It feels like I'm made of glass.
31:57If I could cut you, or you could break me in half.
32:05It feels like I'm made of glass.
32:09If I could cut you, or you could break me in half.
32:14Spending days feeling pain, I didn't know I learned.
32:19Chipping away on the way.
32:20I'm made of land.
32:21It feels like I'm made of land.
32:24It's next time to land.
32:31It can all that matters.
32:34It can't be said.
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