- 4 months ago
Taskmaster NZ S06E06 >>> https://dai.ly/x9pug0i
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00:00Pull!
00:02Pull!
00:12Yes!
00:14Oh, ma'am.
00:16Au revoir!
00:20Yeah! Oh, no!
00:26Ah!
00:30Yeah!
00:34Nau mai piki mai and welcome
00:36to Taskmaster.
00:38My name is Jeremy Wells and if you're watching
00:40this on demand, please
00:42feel free to skip ahead six seconds
00:44to when this introduction is over
00:46and we finally get to the good bit
00:48when I tell you that I am
00:50the Taskmaster.
00:54With me on stage tonight are
00:56five winners of life
00:58and losers of tasks
01:00please put your hands together
01:02for Alice Sneddon,
01:04Brie Thomasell,
01:06Jack Ansett,
01:08Jackie Van Beek
01:10and
01:12Pax Asadi.
01:14And
01:16next to me, as always,
01:18because every principal first violinist
01:20needs someone by their side playing
01:22second fiddle.
01:24It's the one, the only,
01:26Paul Williams!
01:28I am ready for a prize task,
01:30I am ready for a prize task, Paul.
01:32What have we asked the contestants
01:34to do tonight?
01:36This week, we've asked our contestants
01:38to bring in the two best things
01:40that rhyme.
01:44I think we should start with Jack.
01:46Um, musicians, they rhyme.
01:48Would we all agree?
01:50Yes, yes. So, I DM'd
01:52a whole lot of them
01:54and I guess just through my high profile
01:56I managed to get
01:58Susie Kato!
02:04Yes, and famous
02:06New Zealand rapper
02:08Young Sizzle.
02:10Um...
02:12Young Sizzle looks a lot
02:14like young Jack Ansett.
02:16Oh yeah, we hear that all the time.
02:18So they make rhymes.
02:20Yeah.
02:21Oh, but their names don't rhyme.
02:22No, they don't, but they rhyme.
02:24If you've made that one up,
02:26why not go to the effort of giving them
02:28a name that rhymes with Susie Kato?
02:32It feels like I'm really gonna say
02:34see you, see you later to five points here.
02:36But...
02:37Jackie, what did you bring in?
02:38Two things that rhyme.
02:40A nail and some male.
02:42Hmm.
02:43Now, the nail is self-explanatory
02:45and the male, a little bit of a back story.
02:48So, I have a wonderful marriage.
02:51Um...
02:53And my husband and I communicate
02:54very well about all of the big things.
02:56With the small things, not so great.
02:58End of last year, we get a parking ticket,
03:00didn't really sit down and talk about it.
03:02Neither of us paid the fine.
03:04Then, I come home,
03:05there's a letter from Bay Corp
03:06on the table opened.
03:08Threatening court action,
03:09if I don't pay it.
03:10So, yet again,
03:11Jessie and I don't communicate about that.
03:14Um, but we both pay it.
03:17And then, we got sent this letter.
03:19I've never seen a form from Bay Corp
03:21saying, please stop paying.
03:24And I am willing to give this
03:26to the person who wins this F.
03:28And if you can be bothered filling out the form,
03:30you get the refund.
03:31Wow.
03:32Great.
03:33That's good.
03:34Yeah, that's good.
03:35So generous.
03:36Okay.
03:37Pax, what did you bring in?
03:38We all agree that immigration is a good thing.
03:40Absolutely.
03:41Yeah.
03:42Paul was saying something.
03:43Yeah, I know Paul's beliefs.
03:45I know Paul's beliefs.
03:46But I believe that without immigration,
03:48you guys would mostly just be eating mashed potatoes.
03:51Shepherd's pie.
03:52Yeah.
03:53Like, we hate white people food.
03:55You hate mashed potatoes?
03:56We pretend to like it for employment reasons.
03:59Anyway, so what I've brought is two things
04:02that my people have brought to New Zealand
04:04that have enhanced the culinary experience.
04:06And that is rice and spice.
04:11They're wrong.
04:13They're wrong.
04:15Saffron.
04:16Honourly with you, I do not know what saffron is.
04:19And you know what, Jack?
04:21That checks out.
04:24Alice, what did you bring in?
04:25Yes.
04:26Well, Jeremy, I think you'd agree
04:28one of the things we share in common is a love
04:30for 90s sitcom star Christina Applegate.
04:35Yeah, there she is.
04:36Truly the best at what she does.
04:38I mean, could you name a better actor in her field?
04:42There you go.
04:43That's exactly my point.
04:45And you know, I thought,
04:46what could possibly rhyme with her
04:49that would live up to the standard that she sets?
04:51And then it hit me.
04:53Christina Applegate and the Sistina Chapel, mate.
04:58Oh, yeah.
05:00So, are you saying that that's the Sistina Chapel?
05:03Like the...
05:04No, I'm saying Sistine Chapel,
05:06but I'm doing the respectful thing
05:07and doing a bit of an Italian accent.
05:10Oh, wow.
05:11Sorry, Brie. Apologies.
05:12I'm okay with it.
05:13Okay, great.
05:14Sistine Chapel!
05:15I think go harder.
05:16Yeah, go harder.
05:17Yeah, go harder.
05:18Yeah.
05:19Brie, what did you bring in?
05:20This is easy for me
05:21because my two favourite things in the whole world
05:23actually rhyme,
05:24which is art
05:26and, of course,
05:27fart.
05:28Oh.
05:30Oh.
05:31Hold on, that's just a jar.
05:32Now, hold on, hold on.
05:33You might think that
05:35this is just a fart in a jar.
05:38And on one hand, you'd be correct.
05:40But it needs more context as to why it is art.
05:51Oh, my God.
05:56Incredible.
05:57That's amazing.
05:58It's an art fart.
06:00Wow.
06:01Yeah.
06:02No, that's five points right there.
06:04Yes!
06:08Pax, four points for you.
06:10Yes!
06:11Anything that nourishes billions is worth four points.
06:13I agree.
06:14Susie Cato and Young Sizzle,
06:17I'll give you three points for that, Jack.
06:19Wow.
06:20Nice, Jack.
06:21Nail and nail.
06:22Jackie, it rhymes,
06:23so I'll give you two points.
06:25And then one point for Alice
06:26because it didn't even rhyme.
06:27Oh, wow.
06:28So at the start of episode five,
06:30Brie is running away with it in first place
06:33and Alice is leaving it where it is
06:35and having a lie down.
06:37Right.
06:38Let's get to the first proper task of the episode, Paul.
06:42It's one that will separate the poses from the athletes.
06:54What are you doing?
06:55You could have done this before I came through the sheet.
07:01There's nothing on it.
07:03What are you doing there?
07:05It helps.
07:06That's what you do, isn't it?
07:07Oh, okay.
07:09Take the most...
07:12Mind-blowing photo...
07:13On the camera on the tripod.
07:15Most mind-blowing photo wins.
07:18The camera will take one photo exactly...
07:24Five minutes after Paul says the phrase...
07:27Great day for it.
07:29I can't read the next bit.
07:31Maybe we could just read it from the task in your pocket.
07:33No.
07:34Should I just give you this one?
07:36Oh, that's nice.
07:37Your time starts during the next task.
07:41Oh, wow.
07:42So I don't do it now.
07:43I do it during the next task.
07:44I have to take the most mind-blowing photo.
07:45Mm-hmm.
07:48Okay.
07:49See you soon.
07:50See you soon.
07:55Hello Jack.
07:56Hello Alice.
07:57Welcome.
07:58You don't need to welcome me.
07:59Well, I just did.
08:00You're welcome.
08:01No, no, you're welcome.
08:02You're welcome.
08:03You're welcome, man.
08:04Welcome.
08:06You welcome.
08:13Kick the ball into the caravan.
08:15Fewest kicks wins.
08:17You may attempt this as many times as you want.
08:21However, if you start again, all prior attempts are wiped.
08:25You must start from the spot in the study.
08:28You have 20 minutes.
08:29Your time starts now.
08:34So in terms of the task, Paul.
08:36Yes.
08:37There's two parts to it.
08:38There is.
08:39Kick a ball into the caravan, as few kicks as possible.
08:42And then during that task, at some point, I'll say the phrase, great day for it.
08:46And then they have five minutes to get to the lab and take the most mind blowing photo.
08:49Okay.
08:50Excellent.
08:51Right.
08:52Whose minimum kicks and maximum looks are we going to see first?
08:55By the way, Paul.
08:56Mm-hmm.
08:57You're welcome.
08:58All Jokes Asadi is one of my favorite comedians.
09:03Please welcome Pax Asadi.
09:05Yeah.
09:07Get in.
09:08Get in.
09:10That's one kick.
09:11Yes.
09:12That's five.
09:13That's six.
09:14You've got 14 minutes.
09:15Okay.
09:16That turned the wrong way at the end.
09:17That's seven.
09:18Get over.
09:19Glenfield Rovers.
09:20Under 12's top goal scorer.
09:21It went in.
09:22That was good, eh?
09:23Yeah.
09:24It went in.
09:25That was good, eh?
09:26Yeah.
09:27Yeah.
09:28Yeah.
09:29Thanks, Paul.
09:30Wait, you... you don't want to try anymore?
09:44Do another one and wipe that one?
09:45No way.
09:46That's a great day for it.
09:49That's the phrase.
09:50What is?
09:51Either it's a great day for it or it's a mistake for this,
09:55What is?
09:55Either it's a great day for it or let's go fishing.
09:58And I feel like you haven't said let's go fishing,
10:00so it must be that it's a great day for it.
10:02Let's go fishing.
10:03What?
10:04I'm super keen for fishing.
10:05Paul, get in here.
10:06I can't remember how much time I had.
10:08I'm not sure either, sorry.
10:11Let's just practice.
10:11Three, two, one.
10:14That's good.
10:16Okay, now what do we do?
10:17Well, I don't know when it's gonna go off, so...
10:19We're just gonna just...
10:20Do we have to constantly jump?
10:22I guess so.
10:23I also don't know if the phrase is let's go fishing
10:27or it's a good day for it because you said both.
10:32Was that it?
10:34Yeah.
10:41Okay, so what was gonna be mind-blowing
10:43about two guys on a mop?
10:48Nothing.
10:50I'm quite happy with my kicks, though.
10:51Yeah.
10:52Glenfield Rovers, under 12?
10:53Under 12's top goal scorer.
10:54Yeah, I can see why.
10:56What sport was Glenfield Rovers?
10:58Soccer.
10:59Oh.
11:02Burn.
11:03What does that mean?
11:04I've said all I need to say.
11:08All right, get ready.
11:09We're going to take a photo of you
11:11as soon as the ad break is up,
11:13so you better be back here by then,
11:15and you better be looking your best.
11:17Your time starts now.
11:19Now.
11:19Welcome back to Task Mastered.
11:35Right, what were we doing, Paul?
11:36Our contestants were trying to complete two tasks at once.
11:40They had to get the ball in the caravan
11:42with as few kicks as possible,
11:44and five minutes after I said the phrase,
11:45great day for it,
11:46they had to pose for the most mind-blowing photo in the lab.
11:50Right, whose kicks and snaps are we gonna see next, Paul?
11:54It's ladies' night.
11:56Go off, queens.
11:57It's time for my gals, Alice, Bree, and Jackie.
12:01Should we start?
12:03Mm-hmm.
12:06Would you consider this a kick?
12:11Is that a kick?
12:12Didn't think so.
12:15Okay, I'm gonna start again.
12:19Shit.
12:24Because my foot's not...
12:26Oh, shit.
12:33No, that's gone badly.
12:35Okay.
12:36Great day for it.
12:37Oh, come on.
12:39Great day for it.
12:43It's a great day for it.
12:44It really is.
12:45Okay.
12:49That's four.
12:50So what are you doing, setting a timer?
12:52Yeah.
12:54That's five.
12:55I'm going again.
12:59Don't look at me like that.
13:04You've got 14 minutes, 45.
13:06Far out!
13:07Time management.
13:14Oh, pretty good, Paul.
13:16Okay, let's go.
13:17Photo time, Paul.
13:18Three.
13:21Let's go take a photo.
13:24Are you sure?
13:25Positive.
13:26Oh, shit.
13:28Will we know if the photo's been taken?
13:30It'll be flash.
13:31Oh!
13:37Oh, no.
13:38I don't think this is possible.
13:39Ah!
13:40Oh!
13:41That's gonna be one hell of a photo.
13:42Okay, quick, Paul.
13:43Back up here.
13:44Okay.
13:45Not bad.
13:46Rugby plays do it.
13:47Oh, man.
13:48This might be my greatest moment on Taskmaster yet.
13:49Count me down from 10.
13:50You want to wait till there's 10 seconds left?
13:51Yep.
13:52So you're trying to give yourself more pressure.
13:53Yeah.
13:54Yeah.
13:55Eight.
13:56Seven.
13:57Six.
13:58Five.
13:59Five.
14:00Happy with that.
14:01Five.
14:02Five.
14:03Five.
14:04Five.
14:05Five.
14:06Five.
14:07Hai.
14:08Brie.
14:09You went for the dail.
14:10So...
14:11eight.
14:12Eight.
14:13Two.
14:14Eight.
14:15One.
14:16All three.
14:17Sky.
14:19One.
14:20Eight.
14:21Three.
14:22Three.
14:23One.
14:24Five.
14:25Five.
14:26One.
14:27Three.
14:28Three.
14:30Two.
14:31Three.
14:32Two.
14:33You went for the down-on-your-knees blowing technique.
14:38You wanted a mind-blowing photo.
14:41I gave you the opposite in the other task.
14:44Jackie, in terms of kicking the ball,
14:47can you define what a kick is?
14:49So what I was attempting to do there was I wedged it in between my two ankles,
14:54kept the contact going, so I'd started the kick, but I hadn't finished the kick.
14:57So it was still kick one.
15:02That's one kick.
15:03Yeah, no, we get the idea.
15:05But I was really excited about my photo.
15:07I'm feeling pretty good about my photo now.
15:11Before we get to the photos, how about kicks?
15:13So Pax was nine kicks.
15:15Alice, her final attempt, five kicks.
15:18Wow.
15:20Brie, five kicks.
15:23Jackie, there was some hopping.
15:26A little.
15:26But seven kicks.
15:28Yeah, I really thought my nine kicks was good.
15:30It is good, Pax, just not as good as five.
15:32Yeah, or seven.
15:34I'll tell you what the good news is, that there's still one person to go.
15:37And he is unbelievably uncoordinated.
15:40Ready and set and go.
15:43Okay.
15:44Okay.
15:45First kick.
15:48I'm going to hit it over there.
15:51I'm just going to do what we call in the business a trick shot.
15:56Okay.
15:58Don't count that, Paul.
15:59I'm counting every kick.
16:01Whoa, okay.
16:04And we go down.
16:05Kick the ball into the caravan, they say.
16:07Yes, simple task.
16:09Great day for it.
16:13Oh, shit.
16:14Sorry, Paul.
16:20It's 20.
16:21Do you reckon I should try that again?
16:23Probably.
16:23I'm going to try it again.
16:24Okay, through the kitchen.
16:27Shit.
16:28Through the kitchen.
16:30Through the kitchen.
16:31Through the...
16:33Through the kitchen.
16:39Okay, then.
16:41Have you got that?
16:43Shit.
16:44No!
16:46Through the kitchen.
16:47Yes!
16:48Yes!
16:50Two.
16:53That's three.
16:54Yes, yes, yes.
16:55Three.
16:56Four.
16:57Whoa!
17:03That was the most successful moment in the history of this f***ing show!
17:16Oh!
17:18Yes!
17:19Oh!
17:20Thanks, Paul.
17:21Thank you, Jack.
17:24Oh!
17:28I don't even care.
17:31Great work from you, Jack.
17:32Great kick.
17:32Yeah.
17:33But you obviously missed the second part of that task.
17:36Are you happy with that?
17:38It was an abstract shot?
17:40I don't know if you know much about the photography field, Jeremy,
17:43but sometimes silence speaks volumes.
17:46Yeah.
17:47So, in terms of the kicks...
17:49Jack, four kicks.
17:51Wow.
17:52Yeah, well, that's good.
17:53All right.
17:54He restarted 22 times.
17:55Yeah.
17:56Okay, so one point for Pax.
17:58Yep.
17:58Two points for Jackie.
18:00Three points for Bree and Alice.
18:01And then five points for Jack.
18:04I think that's fair.
18:07Okay.
18:08Should we take a look at these mind-blowing photos and judge them?
18:11Yes.
18:12Wow.
18:13I look like I'm birthing Paul.
18:15And that's pretty mind-blowing.
18:19Jackie, what have you got on underneath that jacket?
18:21Nothing.
18:22Good.
18:22Okay.
18:23It's pretty clear to me.
18:24Obviously, Jack is one.
18:26Okay.
18:27Alice is two.
18:28Ewan Pax on the mop.
18:31Three.
18:32Okay.
18:33Bree birthing you.
18:34Four.
18:35Yes.
18:36And Jackie with no clothes on, with an overcoat.
18:38Five.
18:39Okay.
18:40Thank you very much.
18:41Thank you very much.
18:42Okay, so how has that affected the overall scores then?
18:44Leading episode five with 12 points, Bree Thomas-L.
18:51Early days.
18:52Early days.
18:53Let's keep it moving, shall we?
18:55What have you got next for me?
18:56Hear my voice, I entreat.
18:58It's time for another task.
19:00Oh, Paul.
19:10Paul Williams.
19:12Hello, Paul.
19:13Ooh, patriotic.
19:15Mm-hmm.
19:16Boom.
19:18Improve our national anthem.
19:21Biggest improvement wins.
19:22You have 40 minutes.
19:24Your time starts now.
19:26Oh, boy.
19:28How does it go?
19:28God of nations, at thy feet, in the bonds of...
19:36Maybe we bleep every word or reference to a thing that I'm not comfortable with.
19:43God?
19:44Beep.
19:44From the shaft?
19:46What shaft are we talking about?
19:48Shafts, absolutely not.
19:49The national anthem, when does it play?
19:52Before epic sporting moments.
19:54Do you remember an epic sporting moment?
19:57Um, from any of my tasks recently.
20:01I think we need to scrap the English.
20:03Do you speak any other languages?
20:05I speak Farsi.
20:06Okay.
20:06Which is the language of Iran.
20:08I think New Zealand would be, like, on board with that.
20:10I feel like we go for, like, a pit bull type of vibe.
20:13Because nothing gets me more hyped than Mr. Worldwide.
20:16Agreed.
20:18Kulo.
20:23You don't look particularly excited about watching this task, Brie.
20:26This is the one task that I hope would be cut from the show.
20:30Brie has said that to us in the Green River Times.
20:32She says it every morning.
20:34I've lived here for eight years and I've done a lot of stuff that I thought would get me deported,
20:39but I'm pretty positive that this will be it.
20:43I've also done a lot of stuff that could get me deported, but I was born here,
20:46so you can't do anything about it, suckers!
20:49Whose anthem are we going to hear first, Paul?
20:51It's Alice Sneddon.
20:55The New Zealand National Anthem.
20:58It's just not good enough.
21:00I have reconstructed it, both to give it a sicker beat
21:03and to get rid of any language I deemed offensive.
21:09I should have done a mihi.
21:16A f*** at thy feet
21:20In the bombs of love we meet
21:24E-V-A-T
21:25Hear our voices
21:27We ask of you
21:29F*** our free land
21:34F*** our free land
21:34F*** our Pacific's triple star
21:39From the f*** of Ant
21:43Make a
21:45F*** our
21:46F*** our
21:47F*** our
21:49F*** our
22:01F*** our
22:02F*** our
22:02それ
22:03Let me congratulate you for adding that sick beat.
22:07Could we go through some of the words that you
22:08took issue with and cut out?
22:10Yep.
22:11Firstly, the word
22:12nations, which is quite important I guess
22:14if it's a national anthem.
22:17Well, I just think, you know,
22:19what's nationalism ever done for us?
22:22What about the word guard?
22:24Guard was gone?
22:28Because I think, why be guarded?
22:32Vulnerability is the most powerful thing
22:34that you could ever have, you know?
22:36Like guarded from the truth.
22:37And then you replaced the word meat with meat.
22:40Yeah, that's just a personal preference.
22:42I'm ready for another anthem, Paul.
22:46Draped in a flag with the Union Jack,
22:48it's Union Jack Ansett.
22:53God of nations at thy feet
22:59In the bonds of love we meet
23:05Hear our voices we entreat
23:11God defend our free land
23:17God, Pacific's triple star
23:22From the shores of stride and war
23:28Make our praises heard of fire
23:35God defend New Zealand
23:41God defend New Zealand
23:43Thank you!
23:53I think I along with a lot of people at home
24:00will be asking the question there Jack
24:02In what way is that an improvement?
24:04My amazing kick was included
24:07What's happening at any sporting event
24:10you're turning up to
24:10Say the All Blacks are playing
24:11Yeah
24:11You sing the anthem
24:12and then on the big screens
24:13they play you kicking a ball
24:15in Taskmaster
24:15into a caravan
24:17Jack, Jack, be honest
24:18Is it just because you wanted us
24:20to see your awesome kick again
24:21because it was an awesome kick
24:22I just think you guys are all
24:24ganging up on the young guy
24:25because I'm an easy target
24:26and that is a reflection on you
24:28as comedians
24:29you get the low-hanging fruit
24:30Only you could make being a straight
24:33white man in comedy
24:34the low-hanging fruit
24:37I'm just not listening
24:41you guys carry on
24:42I'm just going to play on my phone
24:43We carry on
24:43We've got three more national anthems to go
24:47but first
24:47let's enjoy the global anthem of ads
24:51it's time for more of them
24:52I'll see you in a moment
24:53Welcome back to Taskmaster
25:08The five comedians are working as hard as they can
25:11to win Susie Cato
25:12and Art Green's fart
25:14What were we doing before the break, Paul?
25:17Our comedians were attempting to improve the national anthem
25:20So far we've seen Alice Sneddon censor half the words
25:23and Jack Ansett turn the celebration of our nation
25:26into the celebration of himself
25:28Excellent stuff
25:29and as always
25:30please address all of your complaints
25:32to those comedians directly
25:34Thanks very much
25:35Who's up next, Paul?
25:37Up next with some light treason
25:38it's Pax Society
25:40Are you ready?
25:42Yeah
25:42Are you proud of what we've created?
25:43I'm not sure what you've created
25:45Well, I'm going to be honest with you
25:46I've gone in like a slightly different direction
25:49Okay
25:49But still, I think
25:51Middle New Zealand and the South Island are going to love it
25:53And you wholeheartedly endorse everything I'm about to sing, yeah?
25:56I don't know what you're about to sing
25:58But just yes or no?
26:01Yes
26:01Okay
26:02Unravel the flag
26:03Music!
26:04Music!
26:05Music
26:18Oh
26:48So Pax, did you improve the national anthem or did you write an anthem for a new quasi-Iranian
27:09military dictatorship?
27:10Yeah, it's a national anthem for a new state that is located in Newlin, where I live.
27:19The beret was an interesting move.
27:22It felt quite Gaddafi-esque.
27:24It suited you way too much.
27:26Yeah, yeah.
27:27And, you know, I miss Gaddafi.
27:30Oh, sorry.
27:31I miss Gaddafi.
27:32I think I'm ready for another anthem, Paul.
27:40Wobbledy-dabbedy-freeish is Jackie Van Beek.
27:44Hello.
27:45You may not recognize me, but my name is Jackie Van Beek.
27:48I'm just wearing a wig.
27:49We are going to sing the national anthem for you, but this version will be entirely in gibberish,
27:54a language that everybody loves and knows.
27:57Okay?
27:58Hit it, Paul.
27:59Give me my starting note.
28:00You may be a road worker.
28:30Melissa Multicating singing singing singing mél K-upada-like singing singing
28:32Sing it, let it go.
28:33Dominican singing singing singing singing singing allesantine singing singing
28:35Welcome to Madame C-upada-like singing-Yay-Yay-Yay- College singing singing singing
28:37because we must hear a song apparently a song�� voices for her voice for him and be
28:42over.
28:43Can you read a song?
28:44Is that German?
28:46No.
28:47Gimberish.
28:47Ciao.
28:48Ciao.
28:49Or should I say, Auf Wiedersehen.
28:50Huh?
28:51beautiful thank you i'm sure you won't mind me asking jackie what the hell was that
29:00i've tried to make our national anthem more accessible something that everybody can sing
29:05you can improvise it you don't need to learn the words jackie i don't know if you've been to like
29:10a school assembly in the south island but that's how they sing the national anthem already okay
29:15you've got one more national anthem for me paul she's here to answer the question we've all been
29:21asking for years what if instead of being written by the irish poet thomas bracken in 1876 our national
29:28anthem was written by the cuban-american rapper pitbull finally we'll know for sure here she is
29:34brie thomasell we're going down under for this one with a hug who is it
29:44we love y'all mrs 0610 in the house and that's paul culo
29:54culo team of legends cody's neat hear our voices we entreat beyonce defend our free land
30:06guard our pies and local tans from those wallabies and english clans beyonce defend new zealand
30:13go paul let's see you shibby
30:18new zealand
30:21we out
30:28stay golden pony boy
30:31that was impressive work i mean i never would have thought of rhyming tans with new zealand
30:39i'm a lyricist
30:42why was beyonce defending new zealand that's the only question i have to ask
30:46look uh i had a full-blown panic attack writing the lyrics and it was the only person i could think of
30:53replacing god i believe oh okay yeah so for me it's who did the the least damage to the national
31:01anthem not who improved it i don't think anyone improved it okay i'll be honest not only did i did
31:05audible audio damage but i also probably did a lot of political damage so um that's an issue i'm pleased
31:11you say that and that's why i'm going to give you one point jackie i'll give you two points jack
31:16three points for you okay i think every sporting triumph that we've ever had was humiliated by
31:23what you did but still that's fine four points for you alice because it wasn't as crap as the
31:30other ones and then believe it or not brie you're going to get five for vibe
31:34we need to take a quick break so that we can formally write to the new zealand government
31:43and apologize for what we've just done we'll see you after this
31:53welcome back to taskmaster the only show brave enough to admit that writing the new zealand
32:03national anthem is harder than it looks i think it's best that we move on to another task paul
32:08jeremy this task involves clowns but enough about the contestants here it is
32:14hi paul hello jack how are we not good oh uh huh jackie oh you found your siblings
32:37that's not nice i was just going to go and check out the uh gold rush time for a task
32:43all righty get a ball into a clown's mouth that's disgusting if attempting from the closest spot
32:56you may use the spoon if attempting from the furtherest spot the clowns will not be moving
33:01if successful from the furtherest spot your time will be halved you may not move the spots
33:08both feet must be on your spot your time starts now okay can i do one and then decide to do another
33:14one you can switch sweet so this doesn't seem too difficult this task no really straightforward
33:21get one ball in the clown's mouth okay who's feeding the clown's mouth first paul they're the
33:27only parents this season so hopefully they've had some experience feeding a human being
33:31it's jackie and pax quick question if i throw you the ball you could pop it in for me you could
33:37try here we go so just okay it's not very cooperative it's a confidence game
33:45maybe it'd be better if i closed my eyes
33:50get in the mouth it's a weird thing to yell paul could you just put the scurry around and collect the
33:56balls moving can i change my choice you can just a couple more tries
34:00okay i change oh okay i think i'm gonna i'm gonna change tack so can i have the clowns moving and not
34:08use the spoon you may use the spoon but you you don't have to okay well now that you say that i want
34:13to use the spoon
34:14okay i'm gonna throw all i can hope is that everyone else is unbelievably uncoordinated
34:24come on man okay
34:28spoon this is going really badly
34:35time for scrummy
34:39this is much harder than it looks this is really bad time for scrummy
34:45yes stop the clock ah i mean beat that thank you jack okay
34:54i imagine pax that that ball would have been on the ground a couple of times actually before you
35:09fed it to paul yeah that ball went to a lot of strange places before it went to paul's mouth but
35:13um that task was weirdly difficult yeah but the mounting frustration from even just watching that
35:20task was incredible yeah jackie you were clearly struggling with the throwing but then at one
35:25stage you thought maybe you'd be better if you closed your eyes often i am if i just kind of free
35:30my mind close my eyes and just go for it yeah i have seen her drive it's terrifying
35:35so in terms of times paul what are we looking at there jackie three minutes 41 seconds happy with
35:43that pax six minutes three seconds not as good it felt longer so both went from the closest matt
35:52who have we got next paul brie and jack i'm just gonna try get a few in
35:59from a softball days paul do i have to have both feet on the mat ah yes okay
36:12don't worry paul we won't need too much more of those you know what i love paul
36:15i love a montage cue montage
36:18oh yeah
36:26no quitter paul when i get this in i want it played at my funeral can you see to that what kill you
36:36do you want to like just google some quotes like about success there might be a few dumbledore quotes
36:42it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live
36:46wow you getting hungry paul yeah yeah i'm pretty hungry too tell you who's very hungry yeah
36:53this guy you guys want me to cave and do the spoon don't you i'm not caving i know
37:06thanks mate thank you brie see ya bye oh my god they're getting another uh memory card
37:12that's how you know you're taking too long ah we're in those quotes paul
37:23yeah i've got a plan i'm gonna get some blocks and i'm gonna make a funnel okay
37:28just need to push it in push it in push it in with one more come on one last push i've stopped the clock
37:46oh my god thank you wow jack what was it about this task that made you bring up your death multiple
38:00times i don't think that footage reflected how painful that was i will forever be haunted by
38:06hearing you say push it in push it in come on just one more put
38:12brie you look like a clown had done something to you at some stage like the idea of biffing them
38:16that hard did you think that was going to help them go in honestly i could not wipe my ass for three
38:22days my arm and shoulder was so sore from like throwing so many balls and then i'm not joking
38:30got it in first go with the spoon who would have known okay so brie took 29 minutes and 36 seconds
38:39which was 186 attempts jack 55 minutes and eight seconds oh yes which was 639 attempts
38:47but he did get it from the furthest spot yeah which means it's half to 27 minutes and 34 seconds
38:56i mean i've got to say the funnel was quite a feat of ad hoc engineering thank you thanks
39:01well i would actually like to say a couple more things oh you will okay the task did say both your
39:06feet had to be on the spot oh for god's sake roll tape i wouldn't say that's in the mouth
39:17it's in the mouth it's in the mouth it's in the mouth that's definitely disqualified
39:29if it's any consolation lovely calves they look great lovely beautiful it's break time now but
39:36we'll be back soon with more from the mouthy clowns and also the rest of the task we'll see you shortly
39:47welcome back to taskmaster where comedians are trying to force food into the mouths of clowns
39:59in what i'm sure for one young viewer at home is a formative moment
40:03and the beginning of a lifelong fear who's the contestant heading to clown town next paul
40:09it's alice snether your time starts now okay
40:16can i change my mind yeah
40:26always people on the mat yeah do you think that'll be a good time no what would you consider a bad time
40:34anything above 10 15 seconds okay thank you alice
40:46i mean sorry is it that's how you do it but you had to use the spoon no no okay
40:52i think it said you may use the spoon every time i succeed on this show jack loses years of his life
41:02if it was a soccer ball i would have just
41:03so jack disqualified brie 29 minutes 36 pax six minutes oh three jackie three minutes 41
41:14alice two minutes 28. so that's zero points for jack two points for brie three points for pax four
41:21points for jackie and five points for alice snedden
41:23good show good show okay how are the episode scores going paul in first with a four point
41:32lead over second it's brie thomasell
41:37okay you guys head up onto the stage for the final task of the show
41:47okay paul who's reading the task tonight
41:49pax society count the popcorn popped closest to the correct amount wins simultaneously the task
41:57master will conduct a pop quiz you must pop a balloon of your assigned color to submit an answer
42:02each correct answer will offset your popcorn count five pops closer to the correct amount
42:07each wrong answer will take your answer five pops further away from the correct amount okay
42:13okay are you ready yes in what ocean is the bermuda triangle located
42:22pax uh the atlantic ocean correct what is the name of the main character in the movie home alone
42:30brie kevin kevin mcallister correct the grand canyon lies in which american star yes arizona correct
42:40which band is made up of members with the names larry adam the edge and bono oh maroon five no how
42:50many states are there in the united arab emirates alice 12 no have there been less or more than 1628
43:03all black all blacks jack less correct what colors are on the flag of the ivory coast
43:12packed i'm dizzy um orange white and green orange white and green correct
43:20oh that was horrific landed it wow on your spots please write your answer please
43:35okay alice 236 pops brie i just went with 301 whoa jack 76
43:45jackie closer to what i had i had 107 i went with 200 okay we've got all those come on down and we'll
43:55score it
44:00so the correct number of popcorn 371 oh so after the quiz adjustments alice 231 jack 81 packs 210
44:15jackie 107 and brie 306
44:21that means one point for jack two points for jackie three points for pax four points for alice and five
44:27points for brie wow wow honestly so let's talk about the episode scores then paul the winner of episode
44:36five five is brie thomasell congratulations brie please go and enjoy your rhyming item
44:45oh
44:51oh so sorry oh that's a bad start we can do better ding dong did anyone order a task oh
45:12blimey
45:18who's that i'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic and not so much a kind of duck
45:24archery fanatic
45:26you
45:30you
45:32you
45:34you
45:36you
45:38you
45:40you
45:42you
45:44you
45:46you
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