00:00You know, I think coffee tastes like shit.
00:02Hey, why don't you try a five-hour energy shot instead, dude?
00:05Same caffeine as coffee, zero sugar, and 17 flavors.
00:09Hey, thanks!
00:10Now what?
00:11I had some garlic bread last night.
00:13You better leave me alone with this mug.
00:25At the line games, they said some guy went out to grab a mouth guard
00:28and showed his whole ass.
00:30Oh.
00:34Was that at the Lions game?
00:35I don't know.
00:36It's banned for me.
00:37It's just not the good time I was hoping to have all the time, you know?
00:41Like I go to a Lions game now, it's green dildos and guys' asses.
00:47No wonder Al had a great time.
00:50I saw that video over the past couple of days,
00:54but I feel like it was before yesterday.
00:56Oh, I didn't see it.
00:58I didn't see it.
00:59I missed it.
00:59Guy's ass out?
01:01He did.
01:02Like, it was those, we were just talking,
01:03because I thought about those low-rise jeans that we were just talking about.
01:06I'm like, oh, you did him dirty.
01:09Yeah, I can't pick up any dildos on the ground in my low-rise jeans.
01:13You can't pick up anything in low-rise jeans.
01:18Oh, my God.
01:19The AI is just, let me do it.
01:21I don't know.
01:22Just, yeah.
01:23No, this isn't.
01:24This is a military union, for God's sakes.
01:27That's not real at all.
01:28Anyways, I saw it out there.
01:31It was one quick little video that went by, and the guy's ass was...
01:38I can imagine a man's ass.
01:38Like, it wasn't just, like, his whole ass or something.
01:41There was a good portion of his ass was out.
01:43And how, and how, like, think about the thousands of people behind you
01:46that have just seen your ass and how embarrassing that is.
01:50Some guys don't care, you know, like plumbers and certain jobs.
01:54Maybe this guy's just one of them.
01:55He just doesn't care.
01:56Yeah, my ass is out.
01:57You gotta care.
01:58You gotta have some...
01:59Some guys don't care.
02:01Ass privacy.
02:02Everyone deserves ass privacy.
02:03Not everyone cares about their ass privacy.
02:06I feel like I can tell.
02:08Oh, I know instantly.
02:10Super aware of the crack.
02:11I have crack awareness, you know.
02:12I have great crack awareness.
02:14Yeah.
02:14At least I hope.
02:15I even put a cardigan or whatever it is behind my chairs
02:21in case my crack is ever out, it won't be on a camera.
02:25Oh, you have a lot of fear, but I didn't know that.
02:27Well, that's what this is for.
02:28This is a crack protector.
02:28I've never seen you ask that.
02:30I know, but that's...
02:31This is why, Lisa.
02:32Because of his crack guard.
02:33This is why.
02:34He's got a crack guard.
02:35Trademark Dave and Chuck the Freak.
02:37Yeah.
02:37This is my sweater crack guard.
02:39I have nothing, so anyone behind me can look right at my crack.
02:42This is...
02:43I never wear this.
02:44This is just a crack guard.
02:45But I must probably 30 times a show,
02:48I will just sort of lean a little forward
02:50and then just pull the old shirt down.
02:53Like, I do a crack check all the time.
02:55Just make sure everything's covered.
02:56All the time.
02:56Be crack aware.
02:57Yep.
02:58Unless you're, like, a hot chick, then don't worry about it.
03:01Yeah, it's not a big deal.
03:02Men, be crack aware.
03:04I appreciate you trying to protect your ass.
03:07Yeah, absolutely.
03:08I mean, you have to see my feet for half the year,
03:10so the least I can do is shield you from my ass crack.
03:12I can't live in a world where you see half of my crack.
03:16No, I've never seen your cracks.
03:18I can't live.
03:19I've worked with you for years.
03:20I know.
03:21I couldn't because I can't.
03:23I can't.
03:24Because we make sure you don't see our cracks.
03:26To know that I let Lisa down like that,
03:29where I was like, oh, I'm really sorry,
03:30half my crack was out today.
03:31But now we're on video, so you really have to be aware of your crack.
03:34Yeah, that's, yeah.
03:36Big time.
03:36Yeah.
03:37Especially if you've got, you know, rear cameras.
03:40Like, you could just manipulate that one right there.
03:42That could just be Chuck's crack cam.
03:44Oh, well.
03:44Don't give us any ideas.
03:45Oh, no.
03:46Let's check into the Chuck crack cam.
03:48Oh, we see it.
03:51It's incredible, actually.
03:53Hey, whatever sells.
03:54People would pay.
03:55Whatever sells.
03:55Yeah, people would pay.
03:57Chuck's crack cam is brought to you by.
03:59Yep.
04:00If someone sponsors it, we will fire up the Chuck crack cam.
04:03That's right.
04:04We're going to need a lot of money.
04:07Just saying.
04:08Yeah.
04:08My crack ain't free.
04:10An exhibition fight between Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather Jr.
04:13has been scheduled for next spring.
04:16When Tyson was asked why he'd even want to fight again, he said he was minding his own
04:21business.
04:21And out of nowhere, Floyd started talking a lot of crap.
04:25Well, perfect.
04:26They know how to try to drum up some interest.
04:28Tyson said his mind was on where we could invest more money in this and do this.
04:33And he wasn't thinking about fighting or nothing.
04:37Everyone is just hoping this will be at least a better show than that lame ass Jake Paul.
04:41Well, it won't, though.
04:42That's the thing.
04:42Like, both of them, they're not really going to fight again.
04:45So, like, why are we...
04:47I don't know why we continue to give these guys all this money.
04:50Don't do it.
04:50Obviously, people don't care.
04:52Look at all the money spent on that last fight.
04:54And people will continue to spend money.
04:55And honestly, it kind of goes hand in hand with everything that's going on right now.
05:01Like, you want to go, hey, do you want to go see the Def Leppard tribute band tonight?
05:05Yeah.
05:06Let's...
05:06Yeah.
05:07Of course we do.
05:09Because it doesn't matter anymore, like, that it's real or that it's not.
05:13It's just like, can we do something?
05:15Are we doing something?
05:17And if you're Mike Tyson, you take all this money.
05:21This guy was broke, like, a while ago.
05:23I want to see his ass again.
05:25Listen.
05:26Now, that was definitely...
05:28He is not crack-aware.
05:29Oh, you didn't care.
05:30Mike Tyson, listen.
05:32He...
05:32That crack made him a lot of money that night.
05:35There it is.
05:36Look at him.
05:37Imagine that.
05:39They put a little black...
05:40Oh, they did blur his crack.
05:41They blew it out.
05:42Oh, I wish they did.
05:44Yeah, there it is.
05:45That's what you got to see.
05:46Imagine...
05:47Oh, man.
05:49I can't even imagine my ass being that out.
05:51No, you're wearing backless undies?
05:55Yeah, it's pretty wild.
05:56It's a wild look.
05:57The joke was on everyone who watched.
05:59It really was.
06:00It really was.
06:01It was like, ah!
06:01At that moment, you knew.
06:03Yep.
06:04Yeah, like, everyone should have been like, okay, none of this is real at this point.
06:08Yeah.
06:08Turn this off.
06:10You know?
06:10But no.
06:10Yeah, once his ass is out...
06:12Yeah, so hopefully we don't get to see ass part two.
06:16And I don't know who is, if it's his manager or trainer right there, dead ass, who's just
06:22like stoic.
06:24Oh, he's seen Mike Tyson's ass a million times.
06:26He doesn't care.
06:27He doesn't even faze him.
06:28But he knows.
06:28He's like, Mike's going to show everyone his ass.
06:31I've got to be dead serious right now.
06:34That's hilarious.
06:35And Mike did.
06:38Oh, man.
06:39I mean, it takes balls to be that confident.
06:44Oh, he doesn't care.
06:45No, he doesn't care.
06:46To walk away and have millions of people see your ass on live TV.
06:50What, he make 30 million or something that night?
06:52It was something ridiculous, right?
06:54Yeah.
06:56Oh, we got our next video idea.
06:57We'll just turn around and walk away from the camera and...
07:00Don't give him any ideas.
07:01He says, what?
07:02For 350 bucks.
07:03You guys, what you'll be doing.
07:05Max.
07:06Get a freelancer in here.
07:08I'm not making crack videos.
07:10Someone's going to have to touch up our asses to make them look good for the camera.
07:13Tasting boy!
07:14Oh, Jesus.
07:15There you go.
07:16Before he comes down here to ask me, no, Court, I am not going to film you walking away from
07:20the camera with your ass hanging out.
07:22I'll film.
07:23I'll be the talent.
07:24I'll do the editing.
07:25Whatever you need.
07:26It's a one-man show.
07:27I'll be the one-man show.
07:27I'll be the one-man show.
07:28I'll be the one-man show.
07:28I'll be the one-man show.
07:28I'll be the one-man show.
07:29I'll be the one-man show.
07:30I'll be the one-man show.
07:31I'll be the one-man show.
07:32I'll be the one-man show.
07:32I'll be the one-man show.
07:33I'll be the one-man show.
07:33I'll be the one-man show.
07:33I'll be the one-man show.
07:34I'll be the one-man show.
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