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  • 7 weeks ago

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00:00Of course we need to show Holyrood that we want to save the planet,
00:05but it would be inconceivable for me to do my job without my official car.
00:11What do you expect me to do, cycle?
00:13A lot of our officers cycle, sir. I cycle.
00:15That could work for comms. The Green Chief, Blue Light, Green Bike, Turquoise Fire.
00:19You could cycle, Katuna, cos you're not a terrorist target.
00:23Where was I on that list they found, Paul?
00:24Er, 13th.
00:2613th? No, I was higher than that, wasn't I? I thought I was 9th.
00:28No, no, 9th was Big Jerry Butler. You were 13th, just behind the full crook wheel.
00:33Look, it's not about me, it's about the dignity of the position.
00:40What are the nation's BAMs going to think if they see Scotland's number one cop
00:43turning up for work on the number 26 bus?
00:45Man of the people. Relatable.
00:47And a money saver. Trouble free now, aye?
00:50Lose your car, sir, and I could get uniform 100 rechargeable tasers.
00:55A thousand if we source them from Albania.
00:56I don't think they're human rights compatible.
00:59Aye, but they'll do the job. Power to the police, literally.
01:02We need to show government we've made some progress, eco-wise.
01:05Well, the tasers are eco-electric.
01:07Yeah, you want more tasers, Katuna, I understand.
01:10But these MSPs are going to grill us about what action we've actually taken.
01:15What happened to our plan to give every traffic cop an eco-cup?
01:18Plastic was toxic. Ended up in a dump near Edrey.
01:21Solar panels?
01:22Our target is 40% on station-based by year-end.
01:25But where are we at as off now?
01:27We done drum the rocket.
01:30The chief of the Scottish police force ditching his car is a big splash.
01:34I do look good in Lycra.
01:41OK, OK, let's throw them the bone.
01:44We'll dump the car. I'm on my bike.
01:51OK, car is gone.
01:53We are going big bike energy.
01:55PCs on wheels, singing that Queen song for TikTok.
01:57Adios, amigo.
02:00Hola, Cameron Bichleton.
02:09In this time of eco-emergency,
02:11the Scottish police force could not be more eco-conscious.
02:16Today we are proud to announce the completion
02:19of the installation of solar panels
02:21on every police station
02:24in vast swathes of the Skye, Badenoch and Loch Harbour region.
02:32But the green jewel in our sustainability crown
02:35is that I personally have just taken the decision,
02:39the very bold and brave decision,
02:41to retire my official car.
02:44A major sacrifice.
02:51I'm sure you'll agree, because I...
02:53Very interesting.
02:55Just before recess,
02:56perhaps you could tell the committee
02:58the Scottish police force's position
03:00regarding the Second Chance Initiative.
03:05The, uh, the Second Chance Initiative.
03:09Uh, yes, we are, we are currently, uh, currently, uh,
03:15formulating, uh, our final position, uh, on that initiative.
03:21Good.
03:21We look forward to you enlightening us on that position.
03:25VCS is called.
03:29What's the Second Chance Initiative?
03:31I thought we were just getting an eco-grilling.
03:32Uh, charity-led government rehabilitation scheme
03:35to get ex-offenders back into employment.
03:37Oh, shite.
03:39It's another one of the daft schemes.
03:41Ah, they've been trying this since the 80s.
03:43It's just a reboot of give-a-lag-a-leg-up.
03:45The Second Chance Initiative
03:46is part of the national conversation on mental health.
03:48We are the police.
03:50The best way for us to deal with your mental health
03:51is to nab the rock at the store
03:53with your tail and shat in your rug.
03:54Hold on.
03:55They're not actually expecting us
03:56to hire ex-convicts, are they?
03:58We are not giving the keys to the castle
03:59like a bunch of rajis.
04:00So we support it from the sidelines?
04:02We support it from Rosette of the stand.
04:04We listen, we nod, we agree,
04:06and then we give the whole thing a body swerve.
04:08If we have to pay at lip service,
04:10we'll put a bam in a boiler suit
04:11and bug him in the garage.
04:13Ah, there he is.
04:14Ah, Una.
04:16Still behaving yourself, Chief?
04:18Oh, always on my best behaviour
04:19for the Justice Minister.
04:21Minister?
04:23Scrapping the car, eh?
04:25Is there nothing this hero
04:26won't sacrifice for his nation?
04:29It's an eco-emergency, Una.
04:32But as ever,
04:33my selfless benefaction
04:34seems to have gone unnoticed.
04:36And the Second Chance Initiative,
04:39where do you stand on it?
04:41Well, you know,
04:42there's pluses and minuses,
04:43swings and roundabouts,
04:45pros and cons.
04:45It's the First Minister's latest obsession.
04:47On balance, though, more pro.
04:49Ah, yeah.
04:50Yeah, we've got the pound shops
04:52and the call centres on board,
04:54but it's all about Highland League.
04:57The FM would love
04:58some more high-profile traction
05:00for the scheme.
05:02Maybe one of the big guns
05:03in the public sector
05:05could lend it some gravitas.
05:06Now there's an idea.
05:08A policing pet guardiola
05:10to promote the initiative
05:11up to the Premiership.
05:13And with your annual contract
05:15up for renewal,
05:17it wouldn't do you any harm
05:18just to remind everyone
05:19of your worth.
05:20Right, yes, of course.
05:22Although do we need
05:23to remind everyone of my worth?
05:24Well, no, I'm sure
05:25it's a rubber stamp,
05:27but, er...
05:28Belt and braces, Chief.
05:30Belt and braces.
05:31Oh, there's the Champions League theme.
05:33Good luck, Pep.
05:34Ha-ha-ha!
05:35So, before recess,
05:39we ask the police position
05:41on the...
05:42Second Chance Initiative.
05:43Yes, a wonderful initiative.
05:46Hugely important.
05:47The Scottish Police Force
05:48are 110% behind it.
05:50Indeed, I will recruit
05:53a key individual
05:54from the Second Chance Initiative
05:56into my personal team.
05:59Really?
06:00What role would they play
06:02in your personal team?
06:04My driver.
06:07I thought you said
06:09you were retiring your car
06:10to save the environment.
06:12Oh, well, my gas-guzzling petrol car
06:14to be replaced
06:15by a sleek electric limousine.
06:17Yes, I will personally
06:20mentor a second chancer
06:21and put rehabilitation
06:23quite literally
06:25in the driving seat.
06:27Well, that's them
06:35finally off our backs.
06:37Got there in the end.
06:38For the Parliament pastries.
06:40Ah!
06:41Well done, everyone.
06:42Team effort.
06:43Sir,
06:43what happened to Bam
06:45in a boiler suit?
06:46A new car
06:46and a new driver?
06:48Nice pivot, Chief.
06:49It's a directive
06:50straight from government,
06:52Katrina.
06:52My hands are tied.
06:53OK, sir.
06:54Back to work.
06:56We're away to raid
06:57that meth lab
06:57in Cardonald.
06:58Just give me the nod
06:59and I'll hire the ringleader
07:01to come and make
07:01the peach melba
07:02in a canteen.
07:03Bend the bikes,
07:04drop the Queen song.
07:06You happy to get
07:06on the phone-ins?
07:07Always happy to engage
07:09with the great
07:09Scottish public, Ryan.
07:12Hiring criminals!
07:14The police should be
07:15locking them up!
07:17And knowing those
07:17fancy five-star
07:19Bam hotels
07:20you call prisons!
07:22Well, good morning
07:22to you too, Derek.
07:24Now, if you'll
07:25forgive me,
07:26that's exactly
07:27the sort of
07:27negative stereotyping
07:29that this initiative
07:30is designed to counter.
07:32These people are
07:33ex-Bams.
07:35Bams?
07:36Chief Commissioner,
07:36surely that's the type
07:37of negative stereotyping
07:39you're trying to avoid?
07:40Of course, yes.
07:41You're absolutely right.
07:42My bad.
07:43We don't use
07:44the word Bam
07:44any longer.
07:45We are an inclusive,
07:47progressive police force.
07:49I was merely saying
07:50that people see
07:51a B word
07:52and they tar
07:54that B word
07:55forever.
07:56But with,
07:56you see,
07:56with this scheme
07:57we can begin
07:58the process
07:59of de-B wording
08:02the B words.
08:04I'll tell you
08:05who's a bastard
08:06in B words.
08:07Thank you very much
08:08for that, Derek.
08:09I mean,
08:10we've heard what
08:10Derek's had to say.
08:11There's some fierce
08:12criticism there for you.
08:13Well,
08:14every pioneer
08:14of social change
08:16attracts flack,
08:17Connie.
08:18This initiative
08:19is about giving someone
08:20a brighter future
08:22and I am humbled
08:23to be able
08:24to give that
08:25to him.
08:26Or her.
08:27He could be a she.
08:29Or them.
08:30He could be a them.
08:31She could be a them.
08:32They could be a them.
08:35Chief Commissioner,
08:37thank you very much
08:37for your time
08:38this morning.
08:39We've got
08:39the Justice Secretary
08:40Unis Struhn
08:41on the way
08:42after the news
08:43at 9.30.
08:44Stay where you are.
08:45Got everything you need?
08:46Thank you for coming in.
08:47Well, if you ever
08:47want a one-on-one
08:48kind of in-depth
08:49personal profile,
08:50then you know where to...
08:51Oh!
08:53Oh, my God.
08:54Just be keeping
08:55the hot seat hot
08:55for you.
08:56Ah, my warm-up man.
08:57My fluffer.
08:59There we go.
09:00Now for the headliner.
09:02How are you doing?
09:03Nice to meet you again.
09:05And you.
09:06Yeah, thanks, Chief.
09:08Bye.
09:09Oh, and your
09:09high-profile
09:10second-chance hiring
09:11hasn't gone unnoticed
09:12by the FM.
09:14Oh, right.
09:14Yeah.
09:15By the FM?
09:15Oh, that's...
09:17Okay.
09:17Okay.
09:18What exactly did the FM
09:19say?
09:20A general thumbs up?
09:22An A-OK?
09:24Chef's kiss?
09:25Was it more a gesture
09:26than a...
09:27Oh, it was Cullen's skink?
09:41Oh, it was Cullen's skink?
09:55What was it, organic.
09:57Did you have it delivered
09:58to the gallery by Ocado?
09:59The world's on fire.
10:01Yeah, I'd like to stop oil, too.
10:03It'd stop that wee bam
10:04ram-raiding every Tesco
10:06in Dundee.
10:06The ram-raiders
10:07aren't the real criminals.
10:09How many times
10:10have I told you
10:11keep your mouth shut,
10:13no comment?
10:14Look,
10:15can I go?
10:16Is that within my rights, Dad?
10:18You know,
10:20it'd be nice to see you, Ellen,
10:21just one time
10:22when you haven't been arrested.
10:23Oh, I wasn't arrested.
10:25Only cautioned.
10:27Anyways,
10:27you never get in touch with me.
10:29What, you're off-grid?
10:30You live in a van?
10:31You could still find me.
10:34What,
10:34you want me to run
10:34a licence plate check
10:36every time I want to see
10:36my own daughter?
10:40What,
10:40nothing else to say
10:41to your old man?
10:42Smash the patriarchy!
10:52Free for a pre-meet?
10:54Ah,
10:54Lindsay,
10:55I always have time
10:56for a pre-meet meet
10:57with my head of diversity,
10:58equity and inclusion.
10:59Happy to include you.
11:01Glad to be included.
11:03Got your little stumble
11:04over the B-word
11:05on the radio,
11:06but
11:06you own the error
11:07and embrace the toxicity.
11:09Your training away date
11:09paid off.
11:11Proud to be a
11:11toxic embracer.
11:13So,
11:14Jamie Carmichael
11:14is the head
11:15of the Second Chance
11:17Initiative Charity.
11:18He'll tell you more
11:18about your potential
11:19new driver.
11:20Now,
11:20some crucial
11:21do's and don'ts
11:22before the meeting.
11:23No questions
11:24about crimes committed,
11:25that's all in the past.
11:26No questions
11:27about the preferred
11:28candidate schooling.
11:29People are not defined
11:30by where they come from.
11:32We don't even need
11:32to know the driver's surname,
11:34as that may reveal
11:34a religious background.
11:35Where they live?
11:36Your current
11:37socioeconomic status
11:38is not relevant.
11:39Ah,
11:39so that leaves me
11:41with
11:42their first name.
11:43Yes.
11:44But don't read
11:45too much into that.
11:46Exactly, Lindsay.
11:47I mean,
11:47I thought you were a bloke
11:48until I first met you.
11:49I mean,
11:50you still could be,
11:51but I'm not allowed to ask.
11:52No.
11:52And I won't.
11:54So there's...
11:54a car brochure, sir.
11:55Oh, is this the S model?
11:57The 75D.
11:59Oh, the 75D, Paul.
12:01Very nice.
12:03One final point.
12:04Hmm?
12:04So Jamie is actually
12:06visually impaired,
12:07so refrain from using
12:08the C word.
12:10Why would I call him that?
12:11No.
12:12No.
12:12C.
12:13S-E-E.
12:15Or anything vision-related.
12:17It's disrespectful.
12:18I see.
12:19I see.
12:20Just letting it all out.
12:23And at the top of the meeting,
12:24it's also non-exclusionary
12:27to describe what we're wearing.
12:28Okay.
12:29Okay.
12:30Hello there.
12:32So.
12:33Hi.
12:33My name is Chief Commissioner
12:35Cameron Mickelson,
12:35and I am wearing
12:37a black uniform
12:38with epaulettes
12:40which denote
12:40my senior rank.
12:42Not that that's important,
12:43of course.
12:43Um, I'm Lindsay McLeod,
12:45wearing a green dress
12:46with white shoes.
12:47Pumps.
12:48Good to meet you,
12:50Jamie.
12:50Chief, Lindsay,
12:51I'm wearing...
12:53Well, I haven't a clue
12:54what I'm wearing.
12:54LAUGHTER
12:55LAUGHTER
12:55It's got a sense.
12:57LAUGHTER
12:58Well, Jamie,
13:01your organisation,
13:02like me, I understand,
13:04wants to remove the stigma
13:06of a criminal record.
13:07Am I right?
13:08Oh, got it in one, Chief.
13:09People who make bad life choices
13:11can still make good employees.
13:12Exactly.
13:13Over 89% do not re-offend.
13:16Uh-huh.
13:17And of the 11%
13:18that do re-offend, though,
13:19they are re-offending
13:20at a slower rate than before.
13:23And the crimes committed,
13:24generally lesser offences.
13:25Oh, cooler.
13:27Exactly.
13:28It acts as a coolant
13:29to the criminal urge.
13:31So, with the support
13:32of a high-profile institution,
13:34such as the police,
13:35we believe the Second Chance Charity
13:37will go from strength to strength.
13:41Everything OK?
13:42Yes, perfect.
13:44Jamie, could you tell us
13:45a little bit about
13:46the preferred candidate
13:47to be the Chief's driver?
13:48Sure.
13:49We carried out
13:51a thorough selection process,
13:53and we believe our nominee,
13:55Davey,
13:56to be an excellent choice
13:57for the position.
13:58Davey.
13:59OK, so,
14:01it's, uh,
14:02man?
14:03Yes, so,
14:04no worries about parking.
14:06Very good, yeah.
14:11Well, uh,
14:13Jamie,
14:13we do have to run
14:14some of our own checks,
14:16just to get sign-off,
14:17but it's basically
14:18a box tick,
14:19so, uh,
14:20no harm in Davey
14:22digging out
14:22the old driving gloves.
14:23Music to my ears, Chief.
14:25Well,
14:25nice to meet you, Jamie.
14:26Uh, Lindsay,
14:27uh, C,
14:28show.
14:29Jamie, out.
14:32Pump it.
14:33Get your pump on.
14:35Pump it.
14:36Pump it.
14:36Pump it.
14:37Pump it all the way.
14:38Don't let them catch you, Chief.
14:39Come on,
14:40get your pump on.
14:40Ooh!
14:41Get your pump on.
14:42Yes!
14:42Pump on.
14:43Yeah!
14:43Get your pump on.
14:44Pump.
14:45Pump.
14:46Pump.
14:56Hey, Dad.
15:01Road tax has run out.
15:02Need to off-road for a bit.
15:04What?
15:04You're planning to do that
15:05here?
15:07No comment.
15:09Cup of tea?
15:14I was going to go
15:16and stay at Mum's,
15:17but Malky's
15:18pretty much moved in.
15:20He's such a
15:21freaky wee skinny rag.
15:23I saw him coming out
15:23the shower once
15:24and he looked like
15:25one of those
15:25hairless cats.
15:27Yeah.
15:28That's Malky.
15:30One time,
15:30I came in from the shop
15:31and he was sitting on the...
15:32Sorry,
15:33sorry,
15:33I have to take this.
15:35It's my boss.
15:36I thought you
15:36were the boss.
15:37I am the boss,
15:38but, you know,
15:38I have a boss
15:39within the hierarchy.
15:41There's a structure.
15:41You'll understand
15:42if you actually ever
15:43get a job.
15:44I've got a job.
15:45Gluing yourself
15:46to a vetriano
15:47isn't a career.
15:48Better than being a puppet.
15:50I'm an agent of change.
15:51Screw the patriarchy.
15:53That's the spirit, Chief.
15:54Get your bra burned.
15:56Oh, no, yes.
15:58Hello.
15:58Sorry.
16:00Crossed wires.
16:01I'll call you back
16:01in five minutes.
16:08Yeah,
16:09the FM wants us
16:10to go balls deep
16:11on the unveiling
16:12of your driver.
16:13Full,
16:13holy trinity,
16:14police,
16:15charity,
16:16government.
16:16Not quite
16:18Beyonce
16:18and her glitter cannons,
16:20but, you know,
16:20bigger show
16:21as the Scottish
16:21government can afford.
16:23One proclaimer
16:24and a Roman candle.
16:25Gotcha.
16:26I'll do my best
16:26tight tent.
16:27Yep,
16:28razzle-dazzle them,
16:29Chief.
16:30Listen,
16:31is that your house?
16:33What?
16:34My new apartment,
16:35yes.
16:36Not a fan
16:37of furnishings,
16:37then?
16:38I haven't unpacked
16:40yet,
16:41is all.
16:42How long
16:42have you been there?
16:43About a year and a half.
16:45I haven't fully
16:46put my roots down
16:46since me and the X split.
16:48You're breaking my heart,
16:49Chief.
16:49Right,
16:50I'll see you
16:50at the presser,
16:51OK?
16:51And by the way,
16:52get yourself a yucca
16:53or something,
16:53eh?
16:56Oh,
16:57Mikkelson!
17:05The Police Federation
17:06have let us know
17:07what they think
17:07of the Second Chance
17:08initiative.
17:09They're happy?
17:10Keech.
17:11They think it's keech.
17:12Ah,
17:13the Police Federation
17:14are against all progress.
17:16If it was up to them,
17:16they'd force you
17:17to still wear a skirt
17:18and you need my permission
17:19to open a bank account.
17:21What's their problem?
17:21They've got their members
17:22to consider.
17:23Rank and file
17:24feel it discriminates.
17:25Against who?
17:26Them.
17:27But it's for criminals,
17:28not the police.
17:29Ah,
17:29but there are some police,
17:31a few bad apples
17:32who've gotten
17:32the wrong side of the law.
17:34It's only fair
17:35that a reformed
17:36ex-convict
17:37police person
17:38should be up
17:39for the job.
17:40But we can't go
17:40against the police
17:42code of ethics
17:43and hire a bent cop.
17:44We're ignoring it
17:45by hiring an ex-con.
17:47Yeah,
17:47well,
17:48we have to adhere to it
17:49to not hire a bent cop,
17:51but ignore it
17:52in order to hire a con.
17:54An ex-con.
17:55It would be someone
17:56who's done their time,
17:57reformed.
17:59It has to be somebody
18:00from the Second Chance
18:02initiative.
18:02We can't hire
18:04one of our own.
18:05Well,
18:05can we get her
18:06on the initiative?
18:07Her?
18:08Sorry,
18:09do you have somebody
18:10specific in mind?
18:11Kimberly Naismith.
18:12You remember her?
18:14Yes.
18:14Good fun.
18:15Never off the mic
18:16at the Interforce
18:16Christmas karaoke.
18:17Yes,
18:18always sang
18:19I Fought the Law.
18:21Yeah,
18:21nice lassie.
18:23Now,
18:23but didn't she
18:24properly lamp
18:24a bouncer,
18:25though?
18:25It wasn't far short
18:27of GBH.
18:27She's done
18:28her anger management.
18:29Can't be,
18:30Kimberly.
18:30Shocking optics.
18:31Screams corruption
18:32if the gig's
18:33an inside job.
18:34Look,
18:35just put her
18:36on the list.
18:37Keep the Federation
18:37happy.
18:39There is
18:39another wrinkle.
18:41Lindsay,
18:42what now?
18:43Any appointment
18:44that only considers
18:45ex-cons
18:46could be
18:47construed
18:48to be discriminatory.
18:49Against who?
18:51Non-cons.
18:52But
18:53it's
18:54for
18:55ex-cons.
18:56That's the whole point.
18:58We can't
18:59give somebody
18:59a second chance.
19:00only for it
19:01to turn out
19:02to be
19:02a first chance.
19:03Legally,
19:04we simply
19:05can't
19:06ring-fence
19:06candidates
19:07and
19:07technically
19:08it's
19:09beneficial
19:10for the police
19:10to stay
19:11within the law.
19:12What is
19:13this obsession
19:14with the law?
19:18OK,
19:19OK,
19:19the law
19:19wins.
19:22Put a
19:22non-con
19:23one
19:23on the
19:24shortlist.
19:28New
19:28cars here,
19:29Chief.
19:29Oh,
19:29excellent.
19:30We'll reconvene
19:31tomorrow.
19:33What colour
19:33is it?
19:34Ultramarine blue.
19:35Ultramarine blue.
19:36Excellent,
19:37Paul.
19:39I
19:40would
19:40shoot
19:41my
19:42granny
19:42for a
19:43vag.
19:45Very nice,
19:46Paul,
19:46very nice.
19:51Ah,
19:52there's
19:53the mini
19:53fridge.
19:54Perfect
19:55for my
19:55guava water.
19:56Oh,
19:57check this
19:57outside,
19:58sir.
20:01Oh,
20:02heated
20:02seats.
20:04Oh,
20:05what a
20:05wonderful
20:06treat.
20:07Once you get
20:08past the feeling
20:08you've peed
20:09yourself.
20:10Siri,
20:10sir.
20:11Oh,
20:12Siri,
20:13give me the
20:13weather.
20:14Now playing
20:14the weather
20:15girls,
20:15it's raining
20:16men.
20:17No,
20:17no,
20:17not the weather
20:19girls,
20:19the weather
20:19outside,
20:20the Scottish
20:20weather.
20:21Give me the...
20:21Actually,
20:24no,
20:24leave it.
20:25Haven't heard
20:26this one in years.
20:28Stone cold
20:29classic,
20:30Paul.
20:46Well,
20:46blast it.
20:48Stuffed in this tin can.
20:50Thanks for the lift,
20:50Paul.
20:51Pleasure,
20:51sir.
20:52Never heard a
20:52football thorn in
20:53before.
20:53We'll be taking
20:54close.
20:54Much anger.
20:56Come out.
21:17Come on.
21:18So,
21:29I've made up the
21:30spare room
21:31for if you want
21:33to stay.
21:34For a night.
21:36Or two.
21:38Thanks,
21:39Dad.
21:40Hey,
21:41remember when
21:41you made me this?
21:44Yeah.
21:44Yeah.
21:55Oh,
21:56seriously,
21:57Dad?
21:58These are the
21:58authors you have
21:59on display.
22:01Canceled.
22:01Ellen.
22:02Canceled.
22:02Should be cancelled.
22:03Ellen.
22:04Ellen.
22:04Ellen.
22:04Please.
22:05If you're going to stay,
22:06don't police the flat.
22:08And don't police me.
22:09Come on.
22:10Kick back.
22:11Let's watch some
22:12telly.
22:12Come on.
22:15There's a documentary
22:16on YouTube,
22:17if you fancy it.
22:18Okay.
22:20Mary Somerville.
22:22She was the first
22:23female member
22:24of the Royal
22:25Astronomical Society.
22:26I know who Mary
22:29Somerville is.
22:32Go on.
22:35Or the
22:37golf.
22:39Okay,
22:40everyone.
22:41Decision time.
22:42Three candidates,
22:44one job.
22:45First up.
22:47Kimberly.
22:48She's a perfect fit
22:49for the police,
22:50seeing as she used to be
22:51actual police.
22:52She's a safe
22:53pair of hands
22:54and a tidy
22:55pair of hands
22:55doing a tight spot.
22:57I can look
22:57after myself,
22:59thank you very much.
23:00Next.
23:02Alistair,
23:03his inclusion
23:04reflects the position
23:05that a lack
23:06of criminal convictions
23:07should not
23:08be a barrier
23:09to employment
23:10within the police force.
23:11I anticipate
23:13pushback
23:13from the government
23:14due to us
23:15not actually doing
23:16what they're asking
23:17us to do.
23:18Which brings us
23:19to our second
23:19chancer.
23:21Oh, shite.
23:23I recognise
23:24that mugshot.
23:25He's a McConaughey.
23:26No surnames,
23:28no confirmation bias.
23:29They're notorious.
23:30There isn't a McConaughey
23:31that I haven't cuffed.
23:32Even lifted old
23:33Granny McConaughey.
23:34Legs in the
23:35Zimmer frame
23:35stuffed wee Charlie.
23:36Look at that fizzer.
23:37I love him,
23:38I fear him,
23:39it screams true crime.
23:40Excuse me,
23:41that's a prejudice
23:42this initiative
23:42is designed
23:43to counter.
23:44Oh, come on.
23:45It sure helps sell it
23:46when the bam
23:46looks that big a bam.
23:47The B word?
23:48All right then,
23:49when the bastard
23:49looks that big a bastard.
23:50That is obviously
23:51not what I meant.
23:52Come on,
23:52he's a tall and shruggy bean.
23:54Raj to redemption,
23:55Chris messaging.
23:56I prefer Kimberly.
23:57Maybe we should
23:58extend the process
23:59clearly.
23:59He's a criminal.
24:00Okay, okay.
24:03The process
24:04has benefited
24:05from this full
24:05and frank discussion.
24:07Your input
24:08has been invaluable.
24:10But I believe
24:11that the outstanding
24:12candidate
24:13to drive my limousine
24:14for rehabilitation
24:16is Debbie McConaughey.
24:22She's electric
24:24with a capital E,
24:25that one, yeah.
24:26That's a planet saber.
24:29Ah,
24:30there you are.
24:33Welcome aboard,
24:34Debbie.
24:35I just want to say
24:36thank you.
24:37I'm made up.
24:38Honest to God,
24:38Chief, sir.
24:39I lost my way
24:40for a bit there.
24:41I done some bad things.
24:43Or things I'm no proud of.
24:45But this man,
24:47this man
24:48saw something in me.
24:49Saw something in me.
24:51Sensed.
24:52Something in you,
24:53Debbie.
24:53Sensed.
24:55Well, look.
24:56Let's just get
24:57the unveiling out of the way,
24:58Debbie,
24:58then we'll crack on
24:59with the carpool karaoke.
25:00See being inside?
25:01It sorted my head out.
25:03Gave me an education.
25:05Look at that, Chief.
25:07To go wrong
25:08in one's own way
25:09is better
25:10than to go right
25:11in someone else's.
25:12That's for claiming
25:13punishment,
25:14Dostoyevsky.
25:15Man,
25:16I love Dostoyevsky.
25:17Do you need him,
25:18Chief?
25:18I've read a couple
25:19of Dostoyevsky,
25:20yes.
25:20Very good.
25:21Very good.
25:21Socrates said
25:22education
25:23is the kindling
25:24of a flame.
25:25Yeah,
25:26David,
25:26we're going to have
25:27a lot of time
25:27to chat later on,
25:28but right now
25:29I really have to,
25:30would you excuse me?
25:31Oh, aye,
25:32on you go,
25:32Chief,
25:33you're a busy man.
25:34Yes,
25:35right,
25:35order a soon
25:37approved partition
25:37for the car.
25:39Ladies
25:39and gentlemen,
25:42I'm delighted
25:43to welcome you
25:44to the launch
25:45of the Scottish
25:46Police Force's
25:47direct involvement
25:48in the government's
25:50second chance
25:51initiative.
25:52I'd like to pass you
25:53over to one
25:53of the key stakeholders
25:54in this initiative,
25:57the Justice Minister,
25:58Bouda Strewett.
26:04Thank you,
26:05Chief.
26:07This initiative
26:08is crucial
26:10in six ways.
26:11Sir,
26:12firstly,
26:12as part of the new
26:13Scotland,
26:14there's an issue.
26:15What issue?
26:17McConnachie,
26:18he's re-offended.
26:19It's what?
26:20When?
26:20Last night,
26:21quarter past nine,
26:22robbed an off-licence
26:23in Gart Cosh,
26:24scarpered,
26:25but we got him in CCT.
26:26Are you sure it's him?
26:27Oh,
26:30it's just an offie.
26:31Come on,
26:32there's a couple
26:32of balls of mad dog.
26:33Can we live with it?
26:34He wasn't armed.
26:35Can we pay for it?
26:36You know,
26:37just say it was
26:37for a party or something.
26:38His mother's birthday.
26:40Sir,
26:40we are the police.
26:42What are we going to do?
26:43We can't arrest him
26:44in front of the press.
26:46That's terrible optics.
26:47Maybe that's good optics.
26:49The Scottish Police Force
26:49always gets our man.
26:51Yes,
26:52yes,
26:52if we hire
26:53an ex-criminal
26:54that turns out
26:55to still be a criminal,
26:56then we will arrest
26:57that criminal.
26:59Successful
26:59second-chance
27:00recruitment candidate,
27:02David McConaughey.
27:05Oh,
27:05no.
27:06Today I feel humbled.
27:08Humbled
27:08and gratificated.
27:10But as a student
27:11of the great
27:11Alexander Solzhenitsyn,
27:13I would like to say...
27:14Sir,
27:14we have to stop this
27:15now.
27:16But from here on in,
27:18I am fully committed
27:19to doing the right thing.
27:21Tolstoy,
27:22he...
27:22David McConaughey,
27:25everyone!
27:25Ah,
27:26that way we are.
27:28Yes,
27:29a man about to have
27:31his future guided
27:32by the Scottish Police Force.
27:34And that future
27:34starts
27:35right
27:36now.
27:37Nae chancey,
27:38a third chance,
27:39Chief?
27:39No, David.
27:40As Albert Camus said,
27:42vuzet and bam.
27:44Returne elebicus.
27:49Interestingly,
27:50my new driver
27:50is a woman,
27:51which is a good thing.
27:54Women, as you know,
27:54I wouldn't say
27:55they're all the rage,
27:56but they've never
27:56been more popular.
27:58Kimberly Naismith,
27:59the former police officer.
28:01Yes,
28:01but also a former criminal.
28:03And that's what's important
28:04with the second-chance
28:06initiative.
28:06Kimberly?
28:07This appointment
28:08allows us to
28:09rehabilitate
28:10the entire
28:11rehabilitation scheme.
28:13This way,
28:14we give the
28:15second-chance initiative
28:16a second-chance.
28:19Music, sir?
28:20Hit the sounds, Kimberly.
28:22Hit the sounds.
28:23MUSIC PLAYS
28:27MUSIC PLAYS
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