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00:27I don't know how to do it.
00:30Go time.
00:30Ooh.
00:32You look good.
00:33Yeah?
00:33I am proud of you.
00:35I'm proud of you.
00:36I love you.
00:37I love you so much.
00:39And I love you.
00:43And I love you.
00:50Oh, my God.
00:52Let's fucking go.
00:54Yeah.
00:54Do this.
00:56Okay, you better be home by 5.15.
01:02No problemo, babe.
01:07Yo.
01:08Stop.
01:08Stop.
01:09You're going to wake up the whole fucking neighborhood.
01:10Be fucking on time.
01:11Shit.
01:12Are you fucking kidding me?
01:13Yeah, I'm sorry.
01:14You got to give me a sec.
01:15Fucker.
01:15Damn it.
01:17Fucking.
01:18Oh, yeah.
01:18There it is.
01:20There it is.
01:21You get in the fucking car.
01:22You want me to go in that car?
01:23Get in the fucking car.
01:25Get in the car.
01:26Okay.
01:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:29Let's go.
01:30There's just nothing loud yet, all right?
01:33Why are you slamming that for me?
01:35Why do you have to?
01:35Just fucking shut it.
01:36Slame it?
01:37Don't say you did when you did.
01:39Mike, I did this.
01:40Can I show you again?
01:41Yeah.
01:48How terrible is that fucking filth?
01:50Got it from fucking Go-Go's.
01:52It's pretty good.
01:53What is it?
01:53He's not.
01:53They're debit only now?
01:55What if you don't have a debit card, right?
01:57Then you're fucked if you don't have a debit card.
01:58You got the debit card.
01:59You got to pay a fucking fee.
02:00It's going to be fucking in the ass either way.
02:01Yeah, because if they do the credit card, then they got to pay a percentage of the credit card.
02:05I understand, but why fuck the customer?
02:07It's just for no reason.
02:11I got to tell you, Mike.
02:11It's kind of like a little bit of a glass half-empty kind of energy you're working with for this
02:16mission.
02:17Double-O fucking suck my dick.
02:18What do you mean a mission?
02:19Yo, we're fucking transporting some goods across state lines.
02:21We're taking a fucking tape box to Gary, Indiana.
02:24Gary fucking Indiana.
02:25That's where we're going.
02:26What's in the box?
02:27I don't know what's in the fucking box.
02:28It's tape.
02:28I just said state.
02:29You can tell me.
02:33All right.
02:34Fair enough.
02:34I don't need to know.
02:35You're a fucking donkey.
02:36That's what you fucking are.
02:36That's what you are.
02:37You're a fucking...
02:38You don't even know what you're fucking taking.
02:39You're just fucking moving, donkey.
02:41Fucking pecking you a donkey.
02:42I am a donkey.
02:43You ever see where the donkey's pecking downstairs?
02:45You ever see that donkey downstairs?
02:51What's happening?
02:53Stay here.
02:54Is that Jimmy?
02:56Mike.
02:58Mike.
03:01Mike.
03:30What are you doing?
03:31Good.
03:32Didn't I say stay in the car?
03:34What?
03:34Man, I said stay in the car.
03:35Why can't you just stay in the fucking car?
03:37You didn't say stay in the car.
03:38You didn't hear me say stay in the car?
03:39Yeah, you didn't say it.
03:40You just fucking watching me?
03:41I didn't hear you say it because you didn't say it.
03:42It's too much, Rich.
03:43Fucking dog.
03:44Huh?
03:45I'm not a fucking dog.
03:46You can't fucking tell me where to go.
03:48I wouldn't do it.
03:50Yo.
03:51Look what I made last night.
03:55You made a fucking...
03:56Did you make that?
03:57Yeah, I made this.
03:59Toons for Gary.
04:00Come on, baby.
04:01Let's do this.
04:03Oh.
04:04Oh.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh.
04:05Gradual with the volume.
04:06Just, just...
04:07I am gradual with the volume.
04:08Just turn it off.
04:09This is gradual with the volume.
04:10That's exactly what I did.
04:11I swear to God.
04:12Stop it.
04:13Stop it.
04:13Stop it.
04:13Stop it.
04:14Stop it.
04:14Stop it.
04:14Well, this fucking car over, I'm fucking leaving you here.
04:16You understand?
04:16This is not...
04:17This is not gradual.
04:20Like that.
04:21That's not what I did.
04:22I know how to...
04:23I respect the fucking car.
04:26Now I want you to respect the fucking music.
04:28I want you to respect the fucking music.
04:58Stop, stop.
05:02Want to hear some fun facts about Gary?
05:04Can't wait.
05:05This population.
05:0870,000.
05:10It is a Rust Belt city.
05:12It was once known as Magic City.
05:15It was once also known as the City of the Century.
05:18City of the Century.
05:1954% female.
05:20For those of us in the car that are, you know, not married, that might be a pretty fun fact.
05:24All right.
05:26Obviously, John Cooper, Mellencamp.
05:28Michael Jackson fucking rang it.
05:29Michael Jackson's from Gary.
05:30The whole Jackson 5 for that night.
05:32Could have fucking said Tito before fucking John Cooper and Mellencamp.
05:34All right.
05:35Oh shit, Coney King does a piece of puff.
05:37What?
05:38Coney King does a piece of puff.
05:39I thought that was just a Chicago thing.
05:43You're trying to tell me you're not at all excited about traveling more?
05:46Traveling?
05:46Yeah.
05:47You're not just tired of the same old, same old?
05:49This is what I'm talking about, Michael.
05:50This is the fucking mission.
05:51Jimmy's entrusting us with some more responsibility.
05:53We've got the fucking open road ahead of us.
05:55You know, there's a lot of, you know, positive things about this day.
05:58Responsibility, huh?
06:00Yeah?
06:00Yeah.
06:01Feeling respected?
06:02Yeah.
06:03Yeah.
06:04I think the time you'll come to find that this is maybe a potentially transformative day.
06:09All right.
06:10We're on a great day.
06:11Bop down to Gary.
06:13Little bada bing, bada boom.
06:15Bop, bap, bap.
06:15We're fucking home by 5.15.
06:17The latest.
06:185.15, why 5.15?
06:20It's just the thing with Tiff that she's got superstition about.
06:22Superstition about what?
06:23Her mom went into labor at 5.15.
06:25She got it in her head that she's going to, you know, the same thing that's going to happen with
06:28her.
06:28It's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.
06:30I can't.
06:30Why would the same thing?
06:31I know.
06:32Literally, how many minutes are in a fucking day?
06:33There's like thousands of fucking minutes in a day.
06:35Why would it happen in the same time?
06:35Michael, I'm not saying that this makes any kind of sense at all.
06:37So we need to be back by 5.15 because her fucking mother spit her out.
06:40It's a non-issue.
06:42It's a non-issue.
06:42It's a non-issue.
06:43Well, it is a fucking issue.
06:44If you're saying we've got to be back by 5.15, we'll be back by 5.15.
06:47That's why I'm saying it's a non-issue.
06:52You'd rather be fucking serving beefs all day?
06:55Look at open road.
06:59Where's my Kansas City, baby?
07:01And I love my Kansas City wine.
07:06Well, I might take the train.
07:09I might take the plane.
07:11But if I'm to walk,
07:12I'm going just the same.
07:14Going to Kansas City.
07:17Kansas City, here I come.
07:21They got some crazy little women there and I'm going to get me one.
07:27Welcome to Indiana.
07:28You're a fucking world traveler.
07:30Rich, congratulations.
07:31Let's go.
07:32Yeah, you feel different?
07:36Ah, yeah.
07:46City of Magic.
07:48City of the century.
07:51You think this happened overnight?
07:52Oh, yeah.
07:53They just flipped a switch.
07:54And everything just went up to switch.
08:00Definitely don't feel like Chicago.
08:07They just flipped 35 minutes away.
08:10I don't know what to say.
08:12Show change.
08:14Quick.
08:24Here.
08:33Oh, Jenny.
08:38Cool.
08:44You get laid off.
08:45Let's go.
08:45Let's go.
08:45Listen.
08:47Let's go.
08:48Hey.
08:49Hi, hon.
08:50How are you feeling?
08:53Uh, you know, I think I'm good.
08:56What do you mean?
08:56I don't know.
08:57I'm not sure how to describe it.
08:59It's just like...
09:00What?
09:01It's like, I feel like I have to shit really bad, but I don't know.
09:04I can't tell if this is what the doctor said to look out for.
09:07Okay.
09:08Like, contraction?
09:10You think it's like Braxton Hicks?
09:12Uh, yeah, probably.
09:13But, you know, I'll be okay.
09:14It's not close to 515 yet, so...
09:16Yeah?
09:17Yeah, don't worry.
09:18I'm okay.
09:19Okay.
09:19Did you do the drop-off?
09:20Uh, almost.
09:21Uh-huh.
09:22Well, I'm proud of you.
09:23I'm really proud of you.
09:24How's the drive?
09:24Are you having fun?
09:25Yeah.
09:26Yeah, we're having a good time.
09:28And how about Mikey?
09:29Is he okay?
09:30Yeah, he's good.
09:31Okay, that's great.
09:32Don't smoke any cigarettes, though, honey.
09:33Promise me, right?
09:34All right.
09:34Listen, I'm gonna call you back, okay?
09:36Just try me if you need anything, okay?
09:37I love you.
09:38Okay, I love you so much.
09:40What's up?
09:40What do you say?
09:41He said, let us know in a few hours.
09:45Let us know.
09:47What's up?
09:48Like three, four?
09:50Richie, I didn't say it.
09:50He said...
09:53Yeah, hours to killing Gary.
09:54You still feeling respected?
09:57Fuck it.
09:57Let's just...
09:58I don't know.
09:59Let's get something to eat.
10:01You see that?
10:02It's Michael Jackson's house.
10:07Shuttle.
10:08Shuttle!
10:15Shuttle!
10:16Lock the door.
10:18Reach in there.
10:22What are you saying?
10:23Teddy Pendergrass?
10:24Yes.
10:25We're right.
10:25A little TP.
10:26Yes, I love Teddy.
10:27The romantic hot dog place you got here.
10:32to the old school music
10:35and you know what they're saying
10:40hi welcome to Tony King
10:42nice to meet you
10:45how are you
10:45how will your server just let me know if you need anything
10:54you're missing out
10:55how long you worked here
10:58I've been working here five years
11:01business pretty good
11:02I love it
11:05I like working with people
11:07that's the answer right there
11:08Michael hates people
11:10I don't like crowds
11:13I don't hate people but I just don't like crowds
11:16you cook at home?
11:17you like the truth?
11:19yeah only the truth
11:20when I leave here I don't want to go stand in front of a stove
11:24that's it huh
11:24a little bit
11:27sometimes I'll roll some pots and pans
11:29but I don't know not too much
11:30I don't really cook at the restaurant though
11:31so
11:31what kind of restaurant?
11:33similar to this
11:33okay
11:34similar to this family spot
11:35I do some cooking from time to time
11:37what do you do?
11:38what do I do at the restaurant?
11:40yeah
11:40what do you do?
11:42I guess I'm a bit like
11:43I don't know how you say it
11:44like kind of a bit of a song and dance man
11:47there you go
11:47I don't know public relations
11:49forward facing
11:58what do you think of the name
11:59Annie?
12:04throw some names
12:05that you like
12:11call me crazy but I actually like the name Althea
12:15Althea
12:15Althea?
12:16Althea
12:16Althea sounds like the name of like
12:17somebody that's getting their ass kicked off
12:19nah
12:20Althea?
12:20Althea?
12:21he's strong
12:24sounds like a nerd
12:25nah
12:26Althea?
12:28Althea
12:29I'll see you later
12:33I'll see you around noon
12:35I'll see you when I get back from
12:38from the local studies
12:40I'll see you for dinner
12:44I'll see you when I see you
12:59I met this Eva
13:01I liked once
13:03Eva
13:17oh look at these little fuckers
13:19oh these little fuckers are about to get it
13:22what's up girls
13:23oh we're gonna fuck you
13:24okay
13:25yeah sure
13:27alright you little fuckers
13:29ready to get some?
13:31that's my second favorite sport right here
13:34hey we got Knicks
13:37hey what's the score of that game right there?
13:39well you guys who bring you picking daisies
13:42let me and my boy get one of you we run threes
13:44which one?
13:45alright come on Daffodil you ready to win?
13:47yeah
13:47come here young butt what's going on I'm Mikey
13:50what's up buddy how are you?
13:51are we getting our balls like that?
13:53y'all want five points?
13:53what's up Mikey
13:54what's up
13:55alright let's run
13:55I don't even need to warm up
13:58come on Rich let's go
13:59oh shit
14:00start for a little silk and suede
14:02oh shit
14:02y'all about to get some
14:03y'all want Rob?
14:04you sure you don't need to stretch?
14:05I don't need to stretch
14:05I'm about to stretch you boy
14:06hold on let's wait for him
14:07you ready?
14:08yeah
14:08hey good luck youngster
14:10let's go
14:10hold on hold on hold on
14:12come on
14:13come on
14:13come on here here here here
14:14I don't know
14:16I'm sorry where were you?
14:17alright play play play
14:18I got bigs
14:19I got bigs
14:19go out there
14:19stay with them
14:20stay in front of me
14:23that's gonna hurt
14:24let's go
14:25it's man game
14:26it's different
14:27let's go
14:29you know it's the orange circle right?
14:32it's the orange circle
14:33you want to try to get it in that orange circle
14:36everyone's afraid of contact out here
14:37go to the basket
14:38that ain't happening
14:39don't be afraid
14:40come on
14:43good for you
14:44every dog has his day
14:46alright
14:46bring it down there again
14:47it's cause I'm covering three guys Rich
14:48let's go
14:49play ball
14:55it's every time
14:56he's beating in the back fucking door
14:58keep the fucking door shut
14:59do not let him
15:00do not let him get behind you
15:02alright let's go
15:03nice play
15:04oh where you going?
15:07yeah
15:08that's what I'm talking about
15:09hey you gotta hit one
15:09that's one
15:10let's go
15:10hey
15:13hit one
15:14that's a good shot boys
15:16your bank's fucking open
15:17all day long
15:17hey hey
15:19hey
15:19it's a shot that fucking counts
15:21right
15:21let's go play defense hot shot
15:26let's go
15:28you alright?
15:29you alright?
15:30you alright?
15:31let's go play ball
15:32check up
15:33check up
15:33he's crying
15:34I tell you what
15:35they breed him soft out here in Indiana
15:37huh?
15:37this ain't the 80's
15:38it ain't the 80's
15:40it ain't the 80's
15:41let's go
15:42did you change your diaper
15:43before the game?
15:44like do you
15:44or do you just play
15:45what do you got a swimmer?
15:46you play with a swimmer?
15:48let's go
15:49next basket wins
15:50no
15:50set the ball
15:51yes sir
15:51yes sir
15:54yes baby
15:55let's fucking go
15:56listen to that screen
15:57yeah
15:57I'm a fucking lion
15:58I love it
15:59I love you boy
16:00all day
16:01hey good shit
16:01good shit youngsters
16:02good shit
16:03look at that
16:03look at what he's doing
16:05hey young buck
16:05you're not so bad
16:06you should miss a back
16:07how do you miss a back door there?
16:09you see the back of his head
16:10you gotta cut to the back
16:10and you're not passing the
16:11exactly
16:11and that's what I've been
16:12trying to tell you
16:13you guys are fucking garbage
16:14the Indiana guys are fucking garbage
16:16hey such a old bitch ass up
16:18you're negative
16:19you're negative
16:21you know what actually
16:21don't get
16:22no no no no no no no
16:24sorry let him play
16:25let him play
16:25let him play
16:25we love you
16:26we love you
16:26yo your fucking Nikes
16:27look like fucking moccasins
16:34fellas let's be real
16:36we're Indiana
16:45hey you got tall boys
16:47what tall boys
16:48regular boys
16:49like you
16:54what we got here
16:55hey yo yo yo
16:56why you creeping
17:00come on give me some of that OE
17:02let me focus some of that
17:05drink your beer and get out
17:06okay okay
17:07don't drink beyond store
17:08yo
17:09I feel sorry for your mother
17:11no
17:11come on
17:12what you say about my mama
17:15sorry about my friend
17:18two please
17:20let me get a scratch card
17:23crescent kick is a defensive maneuver
17:25that's just you know
17:26clearing space
17:26just to fucking
17:28snap kick is for speed
17:30don't even see that fucker coming
17:32but then if you need power
17:33then you know
17:34it's just fucking psychic
17:35all day
17:36break a fucker's knee
17:37right
17:38that's it
17:39want me to tell you
17:40what the move is though
17:41yeah
17:41dude I don't want to fight
17:42you at all
17:42I'm just going home
17:43that's it
17:43fucking back kick
17:45patakow
17:46right
17:47back kick
17:47I was getting there
17:48power's out
17:49ding dong motherfucker
17:50oh be careful there
17:53don't get it on the list
17:54hey I'm so sorry about
17:55boom
17:56fuck out
17:57and it's like so
17:57it's like a fucking mule
17:58like think about a mule
17:59like that
18:00it's these big
18:00you're actually generating force
18:02with like the big fucking muscle
18:04you know what I'm saying
18:05yeah
18:05it's because you're already
18:06going this direction
18:07then you come in that direction
18:08yeah
18:08just
18:08even like the sight of it
18:10yeah
18:10you know what I mean
18:10yeah
18:21why are we starving
18:25Christmas Christmas
18:30woohoo
18:55yes sir
18:56oh yes sir
18:58you're fucking unbelievable
19:00you got fucking magic power
19:11oh yes sir
19:11and if your fingers start to poppin'
19:13and your feet start to movein' around
19:15and it it start to swing and square
19:17and our band start to play
19:19a real coolin' weigh out sound
19:21almost
19:22Get the can, help me, but you can't sit down.
19:26You feel like you've got to move around.
19:29You need a shot of rhythm and blues.
19:31With just a little rock and roll on the side.
19:34Just for a minute.
19:36Smooth button.
19:37Smooth button.
19:38When you're over by your side, then you know you're going to have a lot of pleasure.
19:42Don't you worry about a thing.
19:44Come on.
19:44Come on, dance and sing.
19:45And chill, boss, come upon you.
19:48And when that rhythm finally hits you, when the beat gets it to you.
19:52Is she not a song?
19:53Huh?
19:54Cousin, you see that sign right over there?
19:55Yeah.
20:00I think...
20:02Did you see it before?
20:04What are you talking about?
20:05I'm saying there is no way.
20:08The two of us are sitting here for over an hour and neither of us have seen that fucking sign
20:13right there.
20:16Yeah, Rich is the fucking sign.
20:19I think that bar just appeared.
20:21Yo, for real?
20:22Is that the fuck?
20:23For real, though?
20:23I think that bar just fucking appeared.
20:26Michael.
20:26Okay.
20:27Bar just fucking appeared.
20:28You don't think that's crazy?
20:29I don't.
20:30It's a fucking bar.
20:32It's a sorry.
20:33Mm-hmm.
20:34It's a sign.
20:36Open.
20:37That sign is a sign.
20:39That sign is a sign.
20:41We're going in there.
20:43Are you fucking regarded?
20:45Are you fucking with me sitting here an hour?
20:46He's going to call any minute.
20:47We're not going in a fucking bar.
20:48What's the big deal?
20:49We run in.
20:50A little fucking shot of rhythm and blues.
20:51We're not going in a fucking bar, Rich.
20:53Just sit down and do your fucking job.
20:54Listen to what I'm telling you.
20:55Michael, that sign is a sign.
20:57Okay, it's a fucking sign.
20:57Some things are bigger than you and me and fucking Jimmy.
20:59We are going in there.
21:00We're not going in a fucking bar.
21:01Oh, man.
21:02I hate when you get like this.
21:04I fucking hate that.
21:04Don't hit the fuck.
21:05What are you doing?
21:06What are you fucking doing?
21:07All right.
21:07You're right.
21:07You're right.
21:09You're right.
21:10We can't do it.
21:11All right.
21:14What are you doing?
21:15Hey, Richie, get in the fucking car.
21:17Rich.
21:18Sir, can you please step out of the vehicle?
21:21Sir, please.
21:21I'm not going to ask you again.
21:22Please step out of the vehicle.
21:24License and registrate.
21:25Okay, that's it.
21:26Put your vagina where I can see it.
21:28Put your vagina right where I can see it.
21:30There's fucking houses.
21:31Stop.
21:31Yo.
21:32Yo, come on.
21:32Come on.
21:33We're not going.
21:34Yo, come on.
21:34Let's just go.
21:35I'm not doing that fucking bar.
21:36No.
21:36Just a little shot of rhythm and blues and we come back.
21:38You're not doing it.
21:39No.
21:39You're fucking here.
21:40You're fucking.
21:41You're fucking doing a shot of fucking cocaine.
21:43You think you're going to fight a fucking tiger?
21:45Come on.
21:46Stop.
21:46It's fucking terrible.
21:47What's terrible?
21:48I'm like genuinely inspired here.
21:50You're just shitting all over my fucking dreams.
21:53It's terrible.
21:54I hope you feel good about yourself right now.
21:57Why are you pressuring me?
21:58Good.
21:59All right.
22:00Fuck you.
22:02I'm going in.
22:02You're going?
22:03I'm going in.
22:05Oh, shh.
22:07Yo.
22:08I'm good?
22:09How do I look?
22:10You look like a fucking barbarian.
22:11You look like my father.
22:13All right.
22:14I'm going in.
22:14Yo.
22:16I'm going in.
22:18Yeah.
22:19All right.
22:21You'll fucking see.
22:23You'll fucking see.
22:25You're going to remember this fucking day.
22:40That's a fucking sign!
23:14I'm thinking of a master plan, this ain't nothing but sweat inside my hands, so I dig into my pocket
23:20all my money spent, so I can debunk, still coming up from Lent, so I can start my mission, leave
23:25my residence, thinking how I could've get some debt press,
23:27I need money, I used to be a stick up kid, so I think of all the devious things I
23:32did, I used to roll up, cause it's a hole up, ain't nothing funny, stop smiling, still on nothing move
23:36but the money, but now I've learned to earn cause I'm righteous, I feel great, so maybe I might just
23:42surf for a nine to five, five to five, five to five, five to five.
23:46You Mike?
23:49Yeah.
23:52Is this true?
23:54What's that?
23:55I'm one of the goalies for the Blackhawks.
24:01Yeah?
24:02E-bug?
24:04That's right.
24:08What is that?
24:09What's a E-bug?
24:11It's an emergency backup goalie.
24:14Yeah.
24:15I never play, but I'm with the squad.
24:18That's cool.
24:19That's cool.
24:24Yeah, your buddy told us about you.
24:26Yeah, he did.
24:28He also said, um, tell you to put your big boy pants on and join us in the bar.
24:37That sounds about right.
24:39Oh, boy.
24:40I'm just a messenger.
24:41I got it.
24:42Okay.
24:42It's pretty fun, though.
24:43Okay.
24:43I think you'll like it.
24:44Okay.
24:44Okay.
25:01Okay, okay, okay, okay.
25:03So, I, one time, after a night out, I got a ride home, but they took me to the wrong
25:09house,
25:10and I was too embarrassed to tell them that I knocked on the door of the house and convinced
25:15them to let me just come inside for a little bit.
25:23Okay, all right.
25:26All right.
25:28Nine years old.
25:29I'm an altar boy.
25:30There you go.
25:31Yo, what the fuck?
25:33No.
25:34Immediately, no.
25:35You guys are fucking good.
25:37All right.
25:38Can I take another crack at this?
25:39All right.
25:39All right.
25:40Okay.
25:41My senior year, I was doing pretty well in school, but with fucking maths.
25:47I'm with my fucking Lambune, you know?
25:49So, my grandma, you see this?
25:53Fucking great.
25:57So, my grandma, she gave me an ultimatum.
25:59She's like, you got to get a math tutor.
26:02And so, she told me about this lady, Rock Solano, who sang in her church choir, who, she was
26:07like a math professor for Cooks County Community.
26:12And I was like, no fucking way, grandma.
26:13I don't want to fucking do this.
26:14I don't want to do the math tutor with some fucking 90-year-old, like, you know, fucking
26:18babushka.
26:18Like, yeah, you know what I'm saying?
26:20Like, so, but she was like, listen, you got to do it or you got to move out.
26:23So, come Thursday, 7.30, I'm at this dude's house, eating his fucking mom's golden lasagne,
26:30you know?
26:31Okay.
26:31And I realized, like, I got to be at Rock Solano's, this tutor's, you know, in like
26:36five minutes.
26:37So, I fucking down my cranberry juice and I fucking sprint over there, bah, bah, bah,
26:41bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, knock on the door.
26:43And this fucking woman that opens the door, I swear to God, like, straight out of Sports
26:48Illustrated fucking swimsuit issue.
26:50This is the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen up to this point.
26:54Jet black hair, long, all the way down, just kissing kind of the top of her butt, you
26:58know?
26:59And we get hit.
27:00What?
27:00What?
27:01What?
27:01What?
27:02What?
27:03You guys willing to factor fix me yet or do you want to hear more of the story?
27:06What?
27:06You want to hear the story?
27:07Yeah, you want to hear the story.
27:08Okay.
27:09All right.
27:09So, we get in there.
27:11We're talking math.
27:12And all of a sudden, I feel my entire insides just turn to liquid.
27:17And I got to take a shit.
27:19Like, bad.
27:20But I know that she got one little bathroom right there, this tiny thing.
27:23I know if I go in there, she's going to hear everything, you know?
27:27And I'm just like, I mean, on the outside, I'm cool as a cucumber, you know, we're talking
27:32math.
27:32And on the inside, I'm just like, come on, asshole.
27:35Don't you fucking fail me now, baby.
27:36And somehow, by the grace of God, I make it through this fucking tutor session, right?
27:44That's not helpful.
27:46So, it's a pleasure to meet you.
27:47I'll see you next Thursday.
27:49You know, blah, blah, blah.
27:49I get outside and I'm like, yes, I'm going to fucking make it.
27:52I start to walk, quickly back up, back down.
27:55And it just comes out.
27:57That's it.
27:58And it's just like, that's what's happening.
28:00And I'm just, I start to pull my drawers down, my pants down.
28:04I look like one of those photographs of the guys that just discovered oil, you know?
28:09Like, stuff is gurgling.
28:10I can't tell what's coming up.
28:11And it's just like, some mud and shit and everywhere.
28:16And it's like, I have this incredible feeling of relief, right?
28:21Until I see her little porch light come on and time slows down.
28:25And I see her doorknob turn and open.
28:28And I look at her and she looks at me very quickly.
28:31And then she quickly looks away.
28:34And I just fucking take off through the hedges.
28:37And I'm just fucking running.
28:39I'm just heading right back to Michael's house.
28:41I'm covered with brambles.
28:42And my balls are slapping on either side.
28:44And I just got like a trail behind me.
28:46And I just can't stop laughing.
28:49And I'm crying with laughter because I know in six blocks down fucking Milwaukee,
28:52I'm going to be at this dude's house.
28:53And I'm going to tell him this story.
28:55And this motherfucker is going to love it.
28:57Back to fiction.
29:02Sadly, sadly, it is a bad.
29:04Sadly, it is a fucking bad.
29:07I love you.
29:11I'm all right, I'm all right.
29:12This is what's on me.
29:13I got to subject you guys too.
29:14All right.
29:15I'll be right back.
29:16I'll be right back.
29:36I'll be right back.
29:48There's something in your eyes.
29:49Yeah.
29:50Fair.
29:51Fair.
29:54You prefer Mike?
29:55Mikey, Michael?
29:58It's got to be your call.
30:00Yeah.
30:01I don't care about it.
30:03Perfect.
30:03Up to the customer.
30:05Oh, yeah.
30:06How about you, Wood?
30:08What's your name?
30:09Can you tell me?
30:10Guess.
30:11Guess?
30:13Oh, man.
30:14Oh, man.
30:14I definitely.
30:15Where'd you?
30:16I don't know.
30:17What?
30:19Oh, boy.
30:20Shonda.
30:21Shit.
30:21Shit.
30:22Fuck.
30:22I don't know.
30:23Sherry.
30:23Sherry.
30:24Okay.
30:26Sherry from Gary.
30:27Oh, hey.
30:27That's the first time I've ever heard that.
30:28Real quick.
30:34You don't want to play the game, huh?
30:36Yeah.
30:38I don't know if that one's for me.
30:39I mean, you want to go?
30:44Sure, I'll go.
30:45Yeah?
30:47Actor fiction.
30:49Like, well?
30:51Okay.
30:54Ask me a question.
30:56You from here?
31:02I am not from Indiana.
31:07I am from Portland.
31:09Maine, not Oregon.
31:11Okay.
31:13What are you doing here?
31:16Needed to start over.
31:18I need to get away from someone, something.
31:21Got in my 88 Honda Accord and started driving west,
31:24and my car broke down not too far from here.
31:27My mom's favorite movie was 11 in the afternoon,
31:31starring Gary Cooper.
31:33She always said she would have named me Gary if I was a boy,
31:35so I saw the sign, and I was like,
31:37all right, ma.
31:39Stayed one night.
31:40It was quiet.
31:43I like a ghost town, you know what I mean?
31:47Capstan.
31:48Work at this jazz joint.
31:50Jazz joint down on Broadway called Dirty.
31:53Dirty?
31:53Yeah, I broke the bar.
31:54You like it?
31:55It's great.
31:56What?
31:59Come on, what's not to like when I'm driving jazz and blues
32:02joint in Gary and Deanna?
32:07Yeah, I...
32:08Let's see.
32:10That is a fact.
32:13Fiction.
32:14No, really?
32:15Yeah.
32:16Fuck.
32:17Fuck.
32:19I carry a Cooper shit, though, so I start like this motherfucker.
32:21No, that's real.
32:22No, that's real.
32:23No, it's not.
32:23No, it's not.
32:23Oh, fuck.
32:26Tiff, it's me.
32:27It's Richie.
32:27Wait, no, I can barely hear you.
32:29Tiff, it's me, Richard.
32:31Oh, how are you?
32:33I'm in fucking Gary.
32:34So loud there.
32:35It's going so good.
32:37You sound like you're in a bar.
32:38Are you in a bar?
32:39We're in a bar.
32:40Why are you in a bar?
32:42Because the clients.
32:44What clients are you leaving?
32:46The clients from Jimmy.
32:48Tiff, it's going so fucking good.
32:50Mikey is so smooth.
32:51It's so fucking smooth.
32:53I can't really...
32:54Mikey is so smooth.
32:55Okay.
32:56We're having such a good time.
32:57Okay, can you hear me?
32:59Because I'm here.
33:00Please hear me.
33:03How are you feeling?
33:05Do it again?
33:07Yeah?
33:07All right.
33:08I was born and raised right the fuck here, Gary, Indiana.
33:10I lived here my whole life.
33:11I love to travel.
33:13Gone everywhere.
33:14But I lived here my whole life.
33:16I love trains.
33:16Do not put me on a boat.
33:19Let's see.
33:19I've got two older sisters.
33:21I got a different dad who I thought was Santa Claus
33:24while I was 11 years old.
33:25I'm not actually thinking about that.
33:28I had ovarian cancer when I was 22.
33:32My mom is okay and my dad is not.
33:37We had a three-legged dog named Lucky.
33:40He was a cool student dad.
33:42And I studied to be an arborist.
33:45An arborist?
33:46Yeah.
33:47You got trees.
33:48I do.
33:49You do? Why?
33:49What are the trees?
33:53Quiet, sturdy, reliable.
33:55They're always there when you need them.
33:57And they're pretty.
34:02That's a fucking fact.
34:05Maybe.
34:08It's a fact.
34:10Maybe, maybe not.
34:12What makes you say it's a fact?
34:14I mean, you just...
34:15No, you're speaking from your heart.
34:18Right?
34:24What are you looking for, Michael?
34:34Anything?
34:46You are a Sarah.
34:55I mean, you just called me Sarah.
35:06Okay, so it's 317 right now. I got enough time to be home by 515, right?
35:14Yeah, yeah. Oh, if the train isn't running
35:28That's the kind of whole operation you say you like work
35:32Hey, I'm self-employed. Yeah, yeah, so you're the boss
35:42There are a lot of people depend on you. I depend on a lot of people
35:48I bet you're a good leader
35:55People like you
35:59People say things about me
36:02And what do they say?
36:04They say that I don't finish things
36:10Fact of fiction, Michael
36:15Do you mind if I do a moment?
36:18I thought you were going to be you
36:23Yes
36:24That's the coolest thing I've ever heard
36:29Do you plan to be there for him?
36:31Yeah, yeah, no, I'm going to be back
36:32We're just down here, one, two, wrapping up some business
36:34And then I'll be back up there
36:36Put my catcher's mitt on
36:37Ready to fucking go
36:39Yeah, yeah, yeah
36:40I can't tell you that
36:42It's not like a birthday wish
36:43No, no, no, I would tell you
36:44But my wife's got all
36:45She's all superstitious about a lot of this stuff
36:47And she was like
36:48She didn't want me to share
36:50Grabbing a girl
36:50I can tell you we're having a girl
36:51Oh, yeah, yeah
36:57I'm good, no, no, no, no
37:03No
37:03And I was just something
37:07When I was a kid, you know
37:09My mom, she used to do this thing
37:11Where like when she was
37:12Like on like the perfect mixture
37:14Of like all kinds of fucking things
37:15In her system, you know
37:16It's just perfect
37:18She'd like come to my room
37:19In the middle of the night
37:20You know
37:20And she'd like scratch my back
37:21And she had like the longest nails
37:22And she just
37:23You know
37:24And she used to
37:24She used to walk me through my day
37:26You know
37:26Like the most fucking minute details
37:29You know
37:30Like describing every little fucking bit
37:31Of fabric of the fucking day
37:32You know
37:33Like what we were going to eat
37:34When we were going to wake up
37:34What I was going to wear
37:35What was going to be on the radio
37:36Like every fucking thing
37:37You know
37:38And just like
37:40It would make me feel like
37:41I don't know
37:41Like I
37:42It would just make me feel so relaxed
37:43Yeah
37:44Yeah
37:45And like no matter
37:46What was going to happen that day
37:47It didn't matter
37:48Like fucking tests
37:49Or some shit bag
37:50I had to fucking deal with
37:51Like I knew that
37:52And she had planned it for me
37:53It was great
37:54And then I remember
37:54There was just one time
37:55And I was like
37:55Hey ma
37:58Hey ma
37:58Will you come in and tell me
37:59About my day tomorrow
38:00And she was like
38:02She got angry
38:02You know
38:03She was like
38:04She was like
38:04Mike you
38:05The fucking difference doesn't make
38:07It's just a day
38:09Like
38:11I did
38:12I just didn't understand
38:13How that could be
38:13Like
38:15Like
38:16Like how that could be
38:16The same person
38:17You know
38:19That's so scary
38:20Yeah
38:25She shouldn't have done that
38:28She tried her best
38:29Can I sit with you
38:32I wish you would
38:37Come on in the water
38:38It's fine
38:38Oh boy
38:40His first impulse
38:41Was the fucking movie
38:43You know what I'm saying
38:44You know what I'm saying
38:45The one without the narration
38:46That's the one
38:48Okay
38:50I gotta call my uncle
38:51Call him
38:52Call him
38:52Let's all
38:53Everyone call their uncle
38:54Jimmy it's rich
38:55Where the fuck are you
38:57All right
38:58Call me back
39:00This is just like
39:03You know
39:03This way of seeing the world
39:04You know
39:04Like this perspective
39:05You know
39:05This lens that I've always had
39:07Like these things
39:07That just bother people
39:08And hurt people
39:09And get frustrated
39:10Or furious
39:11You know
39:12Like to me
39:12It's just
39:13I never got it
39:15Like it can affect me
39:16Like that
39:16No it doesn't fucking
39:17Nothing matters
39:18Nothing fucking matters
39:18Nothing fucking matters
39:20And I get that
39:21Right
39:21It's meaningless
39:22So why
39:24And when I go on that trip
39:26Like I could catch this groove
39:27You know
39:27Sometimes for like weeks
39:28At a time
39:29You know
39:29Like sometimes for months
39:30I just like have
39:31This like bliss
39:32You know
39:33And yeah
39:33I know I'm like
39:35I'm like all fucking
39:36Like babbling and shit
39:37Like here in a fucking bathroom
39:38Like a fucking baby
39:38But I could be
39:39Like I could be a fucking blast
39:41I can be a blast
39:42Like I can share it
39:43You know
39:43And then
39:44All of a sudden
39:45Like out of nowhere
39:46Those same thoughts
39:46Like this kind of meaninglessness
39:48Of it all
39:49You know
39:51It makes me sad
39:53Yeah
39:54Nothing matters
39:55It sets you free
39:56But then where are you
39:57Right
39:57It's the same thing
39:58You know where
39:58It's the same thing
39:59And then I'm like
40:01Like so sad
40:02Like I'm fucking drowning
40:02You know
40:03My jaw feels fucking
40:04Like a million fucking pounds
40:05And I
40:05It's like I don't want to
40:07It sounds exhausting
40:12It must be really tired
40:20It's like I don't want to
40:27It's like I don't want to
40:33It's like I don't want to
40:35It's like I don't want to
40:36It's like I don't want to
40:37It's like I don't want to
40:39It's like I don't want to
40:40It's like I don't want to
40:41It's like I don't want to
40:41It's like I don't want to
40:42It's like I don't want to
40:42It's like I don't want to
40:43It's like I don't want to
40:43It's like I don't want to
40:43It's like I don't want to
40:43I'm just gonna...
40:48I'm just gonna...
40:52I'm just gonna...
40:53Don't you make your ass?
40:56Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on...
41:17Mike, you in there?
41:18Yeah, Rich, I'm good, I'm good, I'm coming.
41:20Alright, we gotta go.
41:22Yeah.
41:23Sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys. Cousin, we gotta go.
41:25Okay, we're going.
41:26Rich, don't do that, I said I'm coming.
41:28Mike, I'm serious.
41:28Okay, we're fucking going!
41:31Cousin, he said he hasn't heard from you all day.
41:34This guy is...
41:35Okay, I heard you!
41:37Cousin, I'm coming!
41:38Fuck you.
41:40That's...
41:57Yeah, I'll come back.
42:13Yeah, I'm coming.
42:39This is the showrich.
42:44Let's go, Tiger.
42:45You got to go.
42:46You look like fucking Ronald McDonald.
42:47What's going on?
42:48Yo.
42:50Yo, your phone is dead.
42:51Huh?
42:52Michael, come on.
42:53What's the name of the phone?
42:53It was a capital crime.
42:55What's the problem?
42:55We got this meeting in 10.
42:56Where's the fire?
42:57Where's the fire?
42:58We're going.
42:59We're going.
42:59Okay.
43:00Okay.
43:02Hey, let's hit it.
43:03Yeah.
43:04Yo, we're out of here.
43:06What about my turn?
43:08Let's meet you guys.
43:09Right?
43:09It's been a pleasure to meet you.
43:10Wow, wow, wow.
43:10Hang on, hang on.
43:11Hey, we're in America, though, right?
43:13Last time I checked, Gary, Indiana, is in the sovereign United States.
43:16Is it not, Vanessa?
43:17Are we not in America?
43:18Everybody get a turn?
43:19Everybody gets a turn.
43:20How great are you fucking people?
43:22How great is this fucking...
43:24This fucking...
43:25This fucking...
43:25This fucking...
43:25This fucking...
43:26That's what I was trying to tell you.
43:28It's magic.
43:29This place is magic.
43:32All right.
43:34And we're just a pair of fucking wired and worried travelers, and we fucking love it here.
43:38We thank you.
43:39We thank you, Gary, fucking Indiana.
43:41We thank you.
43:42Magic.
43:43Magic.
43:44You know, I just want to take this opportunity, because right now, my fine furry cousin right
43:51there, my fucking best friend, any second now, he's going to be a dad.
43:57And not only that, not only that, not only that, hey.
44:01He's happy.
44:03He's happy.
44:05Rich, you're happy.
44:07Right now, I swear, this is the most...
44:12It's like the most healthy, and like, you're, you're, you're full.
44:16You're full.
44:17And I love it.
44:19He's in love.
44:20You know?
44:21Fucker cannot wait to be a father either.
44:23I mean, he can't fucking...
44:25He can't, he can't fucking wait.
44:27I mean, he, he's got this pride.
44:32You're glowing, Rich.
44:36You're glowing.
44:37I love you.
44:37He's my fucking boy.
44:38I love you.
44:39I love you.
44:40I love you.
44:40I love you so much.
44:41I love you.
44:43Look at him.
44:43He's going to be a dad.
44:44Look at him.
44:45Look at him.
44:45Look at him.
44:45That's going to be a father.
44:46That.
44:47That right there is going to be a father, right?
44:49Fucking kid's going to end up abandoned and alone just like he was.
44:53But hey, shit.
44:54Hey, at least you went into it with a good fucking mindset.
44:56Right, kid?
44:57Huh?
44:57I mean, no, no, no, no, no.
44:58It's okay.
44:59No, I love it.
44:59That's, that's the thing.
45:00That's the thing you got to know about Rich, man, is that the one thing that you can absolutely
45:05fucking depend on with this fucking guy is that if he is involved, he's going to fuck
45:09it up.
45:10I mean, he is going to fuck it up.
45:11And everybody knows it.
45:12I mean, nobody says it, right?
45:13Nobody says it.
45:14Everybody's a fucking coward and a fucking liar.
45:16But this isn't going to be any fucking different.
45:18I mean, he's going to fuck this.
45:19He's going to, his entire life is a fucking bed that he took a shit in the middle of
45:23and he just smears it.
45:24And that's what's beautiful.
45:25Look at him.
45:26It's beautiful.
45:27But he's got to fuck this up too, right?
45:29No, no, no, no, no.
45:29It's okay.
45:30It's okay.
45:30Everybody knows it.
45:32They don't say it, but they look, look.
45:34Ooh.
45:35Ooh.
45:36Look at his eyes.
45:37Look at those beady little fucking eyes.
45:38He knows it too.
45:39That's the fucking thing.
45:40All right.
45:40He knows it too.
45:41Well, all right, what?
45:42We got to go.
45:42We got to go.
45:43We got to.
45:43Where are we going?
45:45Where are we fucking going?
45:46Yo, we got this meme.
45:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:48We got it.
45:48You know what you ought to do?
45:49You ought to get in the fucking truck and just start fucking driving.
45:52Just fucking bolt, right?
45:54Just fucking.
45:54You want to do that kid of yours a favor?
45:56Just fucking bolt.
45:57Just fucking hit the fucking road and do not come back.
45:59You want to do him a favor, right?
46:00No, it's fine.
46:01It doesn't matter.
46:03It doesn't matter.
46:03It's the truth.
46:04It's the truth.
46:05What?
46:05You going to be a good father?
46:06Is that what you got to be?
46:07Huh, Ronald McDonald?
46:08You going to be a good father?
46:10Are you going to be a good father?
46:11It doesn't matter.
46:12It doesn't matter.
46:13Just say it.
46:14Just say it.
46:14You're going to fuck it up, right?
46:15Come on, you're not mad.
46:16Don't be mad.
46:17You're not mad.
46:18You're not mad.
46:19Are you mad?
46:20Are you mad?
46:21You're not mad.
46:22You're not mad.
46:22No, just say it.
46:24Stop it.
46:24No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
46:27He's telling the fucking truth, finally.
46:29He's telling the fucking truth.
46:31Say it again.
46:31You hate me?
46:32You hate me, Rich?
46:34You got to fuck this up, Rich.
46:35Just say that and we'll go.
46:36Say it and we'll go.
46:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
46:43Stop.
46:44Is she not lying anymore?
46:45Why are you doing this?
46:46I love you.
46:47Why are you doing this?
46:47I love you.
46:51You're a coward, Rich.
46:52You're a fucking coward.
46:54I'm a coward.
46:55You're a coward.
46:56I'm a coward.
46:59Coward.
47:00Coward.
47:09I'm a coward.
47:10Kid's going to hate you, Rich.
47:14Kid's going to...
47:17This is it.
47:22No, no, no.
47:23Mm-mm.
47:41No, no, no.
47:42I'm a coward.
47:43No, no, no.
48:08I'm a coward.
48:32I don't know.
48:42Hey, one of you, Mikey?
48:49This is for Jimmy.
49:02What's in the box, sir?
49:32What do plastic pump impellers do?
49:37They rotate.
49:47Okay.
49:49Jerome.
49:51Probably not.
49:52FedEx strikes are over.
50:19I would use several of them to throw away.
50:19Now, I will eat them.
50:21They're going to eat it.
50:22They're not going to eat it.
50:24I'm going to eat it.
50:25I'm going to eat it.
50:26I'm going to eat them.
50:29I don't want to eat them.
50:36You can eat them.
50:37I'll mix them up.