Attachment Styles Explained: Why We Repeat Love Patterns

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Avoidant. Anxious. Disorganized. Secure. Which are you — and why do you keep attracting the same love dynamic?  Watch to see how defenses work, why they break down, and how you can finally grow past them. Follow for more psychology-backed relationship tips.  ©️ All rights and credit reserved to the respective owner(s).  #AttachmentStyles #AvoidantAttachment #RelationshipPatterns #EmotionalHealing #PersonalDevelopment

Transcript

00:00How does that manifest when you're an adult?

00:02So how would I know, because, you know, I can relate to some of these,

00:05and I'm wondering how that would then manifest in my relationships

00:07or my life as an adult outside of the obvious mental health, you know, situations.

00:12So an avoidant attachment disorder would be someone who can't form meaningful

00:19and deep connections, can't commit, has difficulty committing,

00:24has difficulty trusting in the intimacy and the depth of intimacy in a relationship.

00:32An ambivalent attachment disorder would be someone who's highly, highly anxious,

00:38someone who clings to you, calls you, maybe a woman you've dated in the past

00:44who called you five times a day to check on you

00:47and was worried that you'd be the little fish that swam away, and suffocate.

00:52They suffocate the people they love because they're afraid to let go.

00:57Disorganized attachment, borderline personality disorders,

01:00they tend to be very emotionally volatile.

01:03There's a lot of anger there, and there's a lot of self-harming behavior there.

01:11Do they end up attracting a certain attachment style?

01:16So if I'm an avoidant, do I then end up attracting avoidance,

01:19is there any research on that, on how we then date?

01:22I'm guessing secures go for secures.

01:24Yeah, secures, well, if you're healthy,

01:27you're attracted to reciprocally healthy relationships,

01:30and you trust your environment, so you trust in loving relationships.

01:34And avoidance sometimes are attracted to avoidant people

01:40because there's no conflict there.

01:42So in other words, someone who can't commit with someone also who can't commit,

01:46that can break down those at some point.

01:50So remember that these are pathological defenses.

01:52So we use the word defense because it means to protect one, right?

01:57And defenses help us until they no longer help us.

02:01And so we say attachment disorders are pathological defenses,

02:05meaning they don't usually last a lifetime.

02:08They break down at some point.

02:10And so you might be with another avoidant attachment disordered person,

02:15but at some point one of you breaks down

02:18and then realizes that you need the other.

02:21And then, you know, then you're with in a relationship

02:25with someone who can't give back.

02:27So, yeah, as we say, like levels of water meet.

02:30And so you know, like level here, like level here,

02:44you're with your preference.

02:45You're with it, you're with it.

02:47You're with it, you're with it.

02:50And also, like level here, like level here.

02:52You'd like to have a level here.

02:53Like level here.

02:54And like level here, like level here.

02:55And I think level here.

02:56So that's pretty cool.

02:57Though there is an area, level here.

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