00:00How does that manifest when you're an adult?
00:02So how would I know, because, you know, I can relate to some of these,
00:05and I'm wondering how that would then manifest in my relationships
00:07or my life as an adult outside of the obvious mental health, you know, situations.
00:12So an avoidant attachment disorder would be someone who can't form meaningful
00:19and deep connections, can't commit, has difficulty committing,
00:24has difficulty trusting in the intimacy and the depth of intimacy in a relationship.
00:32An ambivalent attachment disorder would be someone who's highly, highly anxious,
00:38someone who clings to you, calls you, maybe a woman you've dated in the past
00:44who called you five times a day to check on you
00:47and was worried that you'd be the little fish that swam away, and suffocate.
00:52They suffocate the people they love because they're afraid to let go.
00:57Disorganized attachment, borderline personality disorders,
01:00they tend to be very emotionally volatile.
01:03There's a lot of anger there, and there's a lot of self-harming behavior there.
01:11Do they end up attracting a certain attachment style?
01:16So if I'm an avoidant, do I then end up attracting avoidance,
01:19is there any research on that, on how we then date?
01:22I'm guessing secures go for secures.
01:24Yeah, secures, well, if you're healthy,
01:27you're attracted to reciprocally healthy relationships,
01:30and you trust your environment, so you trust in loving relationships.
01:34And avoidance sometimes are attracted to avoidant people
01:40because there's no conflict there.
01:42So in other words, someone who can't commit with someone also who can't commit,
01:46that can break down those at some point.
01:50So remember that these are pathological defenses.
01:52So we use the word defense because it means to protect one, right?
01:57And defenses help us until they no longer help us.
02:01And so we say attachment disorders are pathological defenses,
02:05meaning they don't usually last a lifetime.
02:08They break down at some point.
02:10And so you might be with another avoidant attachment disordered person,
02:15but at some point one of you breaks down
02:18and then realizes that you need the other.
02:21And then, you know, then you're with in a relationship
02:25with someone who can't give back.
02:27So, yeah, as we say, like levels of water meet.
02:30And so you know, like level here, like level here,
02:44you're with your preference.
02:45You're with it, you're with it.
02:47You're with it, you're with it.
02:50And also, like level here, like level here.
02:52You'd like to have a level here.
02:53Like level here.
02:54And like level here, like level here.
02:55And I think level here.
02:56So that's pretty cool.
02:57Though there is an area, level here.
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