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00:00Oh
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster. My name is Jeremy Wells and earlier this year in a secret conclave
00:41I was selected to be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. However, I traded that position in to become something far more powerful
00:49And now I am the Taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are my faithful Cardinals, Alice Sneddon
01:00Bree Thomas L
01:02Jack Anset
01:04Jackie VanVeek
01:06And Pax Asadi
01:10And by my side, as always, is a man who lives his life in the fast lane
01:15Except at the Glenfield Leisure Centre swimming pool
01:18Who is asked to move to the slow lane
01:21It's Paul Williams
01:25Before we get started tonight, I wanted to read a poem
01:28Would that be okay?
01:30Yeah, absolutely
01:39It's really beautiful
01:42Should we get into the prize task?
01:44Sure thing, Jeremy
01:45Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to snap
01:51Pax Asadi, what did you bring in?
01:53I'm just gonna show you
01:56Oh
01:58Chock thins. They snap on multiple levels
02:00They're thin, so they're very easy to snap
02:02And they make a very satisfying noise when they snap
02:05Second level is that this is my favourite biscuit
02:09So they also snap my will to eat healthy
02:15How long's the packet been open?
02:18That has been in my cupboard for a while
02:20I don't think it would be a snap
02:22No, it wouldn't
02:23No, no, no, no
02:24That has been opened recently
02:25Oh, so now you know when it was opened
02:26Yeah
02:28Alice, what did you bring in?
02:29Physical things to snap are exciting
02:31But there's nothing more exciting than sort of an emotional snap
02:36And as a child, what I discovered is that
02:39The ability to provoke a reaction out of one of your siblings
02:43Is bar none the best experience
02:46So I've brought in my sister
02:50Beautiful
02:51Yeah, she doesn't look it but she's a real bitch
02:55Just so you understand the prize task
02:57Your sister is going home with someone tonight who wins the episode
03:01Not only is she going home with someone tonight
03:03But I will tell that person all of her deepest vulnerabilities
03:07Brie, what did you bring in?
03:10Deep down, I'm a country girl at heart
03:12Through and through
03:14Which is why I know the best thing to snap is this
03:19Oh!
03:21Wow!
03:27Do we snap a whip or do we crack a whip?
03:29We crack a whip
03:31Paul, I'd love you to look up the definition of snap
03:34A break suddenly and completely
03:38Typically with a sharp cracking sound
03:41Not bad, not bad
03:44Jackie, what did you bring in?
03:45I realised that by episode 6
03:48Everyone would have been becoming very kind of snappy
03:51And kind of mean-spirited
03:53So I have chosen
03:55It's a snap in heat
03:58Hand warmer that gives you a feeling of warmth
04:00That goes from your palm
04:02Up your arm
04:03Across kind of here
04:04Down around your left breast
04:06Into your heart
04:07And just makes you think
04:09I'm so lucky to be here with you guys
04:11And not snapping at each other
04:13And just feeling like I snapped that
04:15But now I've got a feeling of warmth in my heart
04:17And what does it do to your breast?
04:19Can I just say one last word?
04:20I just want to give one last word
04:23One word
04:26Positivity
04:28That was the best ending you've had so far
04:30I've got to say
04:31At least it ended
04:32Thank you Jeremy
04:33Jack, what did you bring in?
04:34I think the best thing to snap is
04:37These guys
04:39So, using a $250 disguise
04:43Um
04:45I snapped photos of all of these guys
04:48Without them realising
04:49Here is me
04:51Next to Alice coming back from the airport
04:55I will not sign a release
04:59Here is me at Pax's comedy show
05:03Did you remember that?
05:04I genuinely remember
05:06Looking at you
05:08Thinking
05:09Guy looks weird
05:10Here is me seeing Jackie on a walk
05:14With her husband up Mount Eden
05:16And I said to him after we passed you
05:18I was like
05:20And Jessie was like
05:21What?
05:22And I said
05:23The dude with the beard
05:25The next photo is outside Bree's radio station
05:31How creepy is that?
05:33Wow
05:35This is going to be easy
05:37Pax won
05:38I just brought a pack of biscuits in
05:40Yeah I knew it
05:41Jackie 2
05:42Because you swung by Costco again
05:43On the way here
05:453 for Alice
05:46I understand what that's like
05:47To make a sibling snap
05:48That's quite a good feeling
05:50Bree cracking the whip
05:51That's quite sexy
05:52I'll give you 4
05:54And 5 for Jack
05:55Because that's very good
05:57Thank you
05:59Feels good
06:00Feels good
06:01Yeah
06:02Okay I really am ready for another task
06:03What have we got?
06:04Ding dong
06:05Did anyone order a task?
06:06Well here you go
06:15Hi Paul
06:16Hello Jackie
06:17Great to see you again
06:18Hi Paul
06:19Oh my god Paul
06:20Hey
06:21Hey Paul
06:22Oh lunch
06:23You shouldn't have
06:24Sorry
06:26Deliver this burger to the caravan
06:28Easy
06:29Fastest wins
06:30No problem
06:31You may not throw
06:32Or disrespect the burger
06:34Disrespect the burger?
06:37Don't laugh
06:38That's disrespecting the burger
06:39I'm so sorry
06:40Every time you wish to take a step with the burger
06:42You must first complete one of the 50 steps on Paul's scroll
06:47What scroll?
06:48Oh that scroll
06:50You may choose which numbered step from the scroll you wish to complete
06:54You may not look at Paul's scroll
06:56Don't look at it
06:57Oh so I can't even look at it like there
06:59I'd prefer it if you didn't
07:00Your time starts now
07:07Alright who's leading the charge with this one Paul?
07:09Stepping up to the plate first it's Bree and Alice
07:12Number 8
07:13Spin around 5 times without falling over
07:1513
07:16Do heads, shoulders, knees and toes
07:19Oh shit Paul
07:20I do the song wrong
07:22Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, we all got hands together
07:29Was that two steps?
07:30That was one
07:31You stepped with that foot and then you stepped with that foot
07:33I don't believe that to be true
07:35Number 6
07:36Say your name backwards
07:38Eerie
07:39Number 12
07:40Touch two things that rhyme
07:41Red head
07:42Number 1
07:43Smile
07:4515
07:46Balance something on your finger while reciting a nursery rhyme
07:49Mary had a little lamb as we saw as white as snow
07:52Wow
07:537
07:54Recreate a famous painting using only your body
07:5822
07:59Draw yourself riding your favourite animal
08:02It's a huge pig
08:04Number 2 please
08:05Whisper your middle name 10 times
08:07Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
08:0934
08:10Bury an item and give it a moving eulogy
08:13What's that?
08:14It's your pen
08:15Hey
08:16Touch two things that rhyme
08:19Badge
08:2140
08:22Balance four stones on top of each other
08:25What?
08:28Okay
08:30It's balanced
08:31Hold on I haven't even moved the burger once
08:33Yeah
08:34Yeah
08:35What?
08:37Two
08:38Sing your favourite vegetable
08:39Asparagus
08:40Oh
08:42Four
08:43Sit down and then stand up
08:48Cut
08:49Stop the clock
08:50Thanks Paul
08:51I think there was a few things I could have done better
08:53Like what?
08:54The start and the middle and the end
08:56Alice
08:59Alice
09:00You weren't paying a lot of attention to the task
09:02Because there was that point where you'd forgotten to move the burger
09:06With all due respect to the burger I thought I'll let you have a little rest
09:12You take it easy for a bit I'll get the work done and then I'll bring you up to speed as and when needed
09:19Brie
09:20Heads, shoulders, knees and toes
09:21What did you do?
09:22Can you do it?
09:23What was it?
09:24What did you do?
09:25Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:29We all clap hands together
09:31It's in my brain I can't get rid of it
09:33Is that cause in regional Queensland you have extra knees and toes?
09:37Let's talk times
09:39Alice, 12 minutes and 8 seconds
09:41She completed 14 steps
09:43Rhi, 6 minutes and 9 seconds
09:45Wow
09:46She did 11 steps
09:47This is a great opportunity for us all to get our 10,000 steps in
09:51Why don't you wander around the living room while the ads are playing and we'll see you after a couple of minutes
10:06Welcome back to Taskmaster
10:11What's going on Paul?
10:12Our contestants are delivering burgers to the caravan
10:15Up next, Du Bois
10:17Delivering a boiga
10:2148
10:22Find three gnomes in the forest
10:25Oh what?
10:2627
10:27Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
10:31Oh sandwich
10:32Oh
10:33Your lettuce
10:34Mmm
10:35You want that Romeo?
10:36Get that down ya, ya dog
10:39Thank you
10:41Okay
10:4250
10:43Head to the forest on the far side of the lake and find the lost treasure of the Esperanza
10:48All the way down there?
10:49Are you serious?
10:5032
10:51Make a paper airplane and fly it over the caravan long ways
10:55Have you made many paper planes before?
10:57I think this is my third one in my entire life
10:59Wow
11:00Oh, I found an X
11:04Is that it?
11:05Yeah
11:06All for that
11:07The rubber duck egg
11:08I'm gonna YouTube
11:10Really good
11:12Paper airplane
11:13He has quite nice hands
11:14He has quite nice hands
11:15Beautiful hands
11:16Like just the right amount of hair
11:1812
11:19I'll go with 12
11:20Touch two things that rhyme
11:21Ass
11:22Grass
11:23Look at this bro
11:24Honestly it feels like we're in Top Gear now
11:26Are you Tom Cruise?
11:27Is he on Top Gear?
11:28Top Gear?
11:29You mean Top Gun
11:30What's Top Gun?
11:31Sing a one minute ballad about one of the other contestants
11:34Jackie Van Big
11:36You are so sleek
11:47Number 49
11:48Float a marble on the lake for one minute
11:51Four
11:52Sit down and then stand up
11:57What's going in there?
11:5812
12:00Touch two things that rhyme
12:02Grass
12:03And
12:04Do I have consent to touch your ass?
12:07Sure
12:08Ass
12:09I ask for consent
12:11You could also just do your own
12:12Stop the clock
12:21Time
12:22Thank you Paul
12:24I'll be in here
12:25Doing my burger
12:26Doing my burger
12:35Pax, do you regret doing the ass touching?
12:37Straight to the camera operator's ass
12:39That cameraman had badonkadonk
12:44It seemed to me that the tasks were getting more and more difficult
12:49The tasks were ranked in difficulties
12:52Why did you say that?
12:54It was implied
12:57So one being easiest, 50 being the hardest
12:59And these guys liked quite high numbers
13:01Yeah
13:02That would explain why I went to the lake two times
13:06So which Shakespearean character was it that said
13:09You like that Romeo get it down you, you dog
13:15Background peasant ten
13:17Obviously
13:19Obviously
13:20I think we need some stats Paul
13:21So Bree was the fastest so far with 6 minutes and 9 seconds
13:26Jack 21 minutes and 6 seconds
13:29And Pax 36 minutes and 28 seconds
13:32Whoa!
13:33We spent a lot of time on that paper played YouTube video
13:36Right we've got one delivery left Paul
13:38Yes Jeremy let's take a peek at the sleek Van Beek
13:42Okay
13:45That's disrespectful
13:46Not to the burger
13:4727
13:48Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
13:51For sooth
13:53Where if my bread is
13:55Hark!
13:56There it is in the river near Ophelia
13:57I dive
13:59I dive in and capture her
14:02I'm tumbling down the river
14:04Tumbling down
14:05That's a minute
14:06Good, okay, I'm ready
14:08Jackie you're back here
14:09No I'm not
14:10That's what the flag is for
14:12Okay
14:13Are you disrespecting the burger?
14:17Certainly not
14:19So these aren't steps?
14:20I feel like I'm not even touching the foot
14:22Is that a step?
14:23No
14:25Cool
14:26Is that a step?
14:27No Paul!
14:28None of these things are steps
14:32Oh God
14:34Delivered
14:40Did Jackie disrespect the burger Paul?
14:42I don't think so
14:43She was holding it
14:44She didn't crush it at any point
14:46Yeah
14:47Didn't seem to disrespect it
14:48I didn't have any ill will towards it
14:50Have some balls man
14:51Come on
14:53How many steps did she take?
14:55Well she only did one step
14:56It was a Shakespeare monologue
14:57And it was pretty good
14:59Thank you
15:00Jackie was four minutes and one second
15:01Wow
15:02To deliver the burger
15:03Okay so where does that leave the points then Paul?
15:05Do we accept Jackie's?
15:06Oh absolutely
15:08That means
15:09One point for Pax
15:10Two points for Jack
15:11Three points for Alice
15:12Four points for Brie
15:13And five points for Jackie Van Beek
15:16I feel like it's a good time to have a look at the scoreboard for the episode Paul
15:22It's pretty tight
15:23Apart from Pax who's on two points
15:26In first place with eight points
15:28Brie Thomassell
15:30That was a bad guy
15:32Again
15:33So we are now past the halfway point in the series
15:36I think it would be a good time to have a series score update
15:39Leading the pack with 89 points
15:41Brie Thomassell
15:46Amazing
15:47Okay Paul
15:48What's the next task?
15:49In this task the aim of the game is to aim
15:52Paul?
15:53Paul?
15:54Paul?
15:55Paul?
15:56Paul?
15:57Paul?
15:58Oh
16:11Oh
16:13Oh jeez
16:15Oh
16:16You're insane
16:17You poked someone's eye out
16:18You've got glasses on
16:19I said someone's
16:21Oh
16:25What have we got here?
16:26Demonstrate exceptional aim
16:30Best demonstration of aim wins
16:32You may choose which attempt to submit
16:34You have 30 minutes
16:35Your time starts now
16:36So I can choose what to aim for and what to aim with
16:40Yes
16:41Have I got access to a gun?
16:42No
16:43Do we have a crossbow?
16:44I don't think we have a crossbow
16:46A ball
16:47Okay
16:48Should we go look for balls?
16:49Yeah
16:50Okay
16:51Let's go look for balls
16:52You found yours yet?
16:56I'm interested Alice
16:57So if we did have a gun on sight
17:00Yeah
17:01What was your plan?
17:02Have Paul stand under a tree with an apple on top of his head
17:07And I'd just give it my best
17:09One of those
17:11Alright Paul
17:12Which eagle eye contestants are we going to see first?
17:14Two athletes at the top of their game
17:17It's Jackie and Alice
17:19We'll just warm up for a few
17:23Punished
17:24I have set out five cones
17:26One throw
17:27One throw
17:28From each cone
17:31Watch out
17:32Number one
17:34Oh God
17:39That's gone for four into the river
17:41I will now illustrate
17:42My incredible aim
17:47Yes
17:50Oh that's caught
17:51Okay
17:52You come stand here
17:54Yes
17:56So that's two of two
18:00Number three
18:01Are you ready Paul?
18:02Yes
18:03Okay I need you to do one long note for me
18:08Yes
18:09I think pitch that up a little bit
18:12Yeah
18:13Are you ready Paul?
18:14Mmhm
18:16Fantastic
18:20In front of the wicket Paul
18:21Actually let's start without the bat
18:26Do that
18:27Good enough
18:28Let's go again
18:29You can hold the bat this time
18:30Left handed
18:31That was two in a row
18:32For five of five
18:33Five of five
18:40Five of five
18:41I don't think it was five of five
18:42Please don't do that
18:45Blow that
18:47Three in a row
18:49Patrick
18:51Do you want a bowl?
18:52Maybe one
18:53Okay
18:54She really got a hold of that
19:01It's too short Paul
19:02Don't bounce her with the first delivery
19:04What do you think?
19:05Pitch it up
19:12Jackie
19:13You seem surprised that Paul questioned your assessment of five out of five
19:16Considering that your main way of getting the duck off his head was to hit him in the face for the ball
19:20I think it was five of five was it?
19:23It was five out of fifteen
19:26So in terms of you Alice
19:27Yeah
19:28Just looking at the way that you came in you got nice and side on I could see the seam was upright
19:33Not only was the line good that length was outstanding very tidy
19:37And I couldn't disagree with anything you say
19:41Can I just say sorry because I'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic and not so much a kind of duck archery fanatic
19:47But there's a lot of like terminology I don't understand
19:51Alright I'd like to see a few more tosses if that's okay Paul
19:54Yes
19:55Two more tosses
19:56It's Breein Pax
19:58Attempt number one
20:01Success
20:03Oh Paul
20:05Oh
20:07We can do better
20:12So sorry Paul
20:13I just have to commit
20:14Go in and
20:17No!
20:18Paul!
20:19Get some!
20:21That's two in a row do you want to see if you can get a third?
20:25Oh so sorry
20:27I should try a golf ball because that's even more impressive because it's small
20:35I'm really legitimately sorry
20:38Paul
20:39Can you stop flinching? It's putting me off
20:50Sorry
20:55The pinnacle of TV
20:59That's it!
21:00Oh!
21:01Oh!
21:07That was so close
21:08Alright here we go
21:14Are you joking? Did that go in?
21:16Yep
21:20Yes Paul!
21:22Straight down the pot
21:23On the pot!
21:32Paul why did you have a hat and glasses on for Jackie's
21:37But not with what Pax was doing to you
21:40Well Jackie put those on me for protection
21:43I protected Paul
21:45Why did he need to be there with that thing in his mouth?
21:47I don't f***ing know man!
21:49I want to say that the whole of the cone
21:53Was only like two to one and a half centimeters bigger than the ball
21:58You designed the task
22:00You're such a smart man
22:02I think we need some stats Paul
22:04So Pax threw 124 throws
22:07Jeez did he?
22:08A few of which hit me in the head
22:10Brie, only 38 attempts
22:12Four of which went into the bath
22:14Yeah good arm by the way Brie
22:15Thank you
22:16I don't know about the dancing but the arm was good
22:19Alright well we'll make a base camp here
22:21And aim for the summit of this task
22:23On the other side of this ad break
22:26We'll see you in a tick
22:40Nau mai anu, welcome back to Taskmaster
22:42We're currently finding out which of our contestants has the best aim
22:46And so far half of them seem to be aiming for Paul's face
22:50Who have we got next Paul?
22:51He aims to please
22:53It's Jack Ansett
22:55Do you have good aim?
22:56No awful
22:57But aim isn't just aiming for something is it?
23:00You know you could have an aim to like inspire youth
23:03How would you inspire youth?
23:05We could go to the local primary school and I could do a motivational chat in their classroom
23:10There is a school
23:12Yeah but I'm not sure if we'd be allowed to film in it
23:15Might be able to get you near it
23:16Yeah, why not?
23:19Alright, now do it
23:31Believe you can and you're halfway there
23:35Nothing is impossible
23:37The word itself says I'm possible
23:41What does that mean though?
23:43It means that don't say things are impossible
23:46Because the word impossible has I'm possible in it
23:49But that doesn't make sense, I am possible
23:51Live, laugh, love
23:53That's what my mum goes by
23:55It's good to be good and awful to be awful
23:58Okay, well I think I've inspired the youth of tomorrow
24:01Well let's get out of here before the police show up
24:03Okay, so you read some motivational quotes to a fence
24:11Yeah, we did not film them but there were children looking through the classroom window
24:17Going there he is, there he is
24:19And I think they heard me
24:22As someone who was there
24:24I don't think they could hear him but they did see him
24:28One point for Jack, talking to a fence
24:31The crowd is turning on you
24:36Two points for Jackie, for chucking stuff at your face
24:40Three points for Pax, for chucking stuff at your face
24:44Four points for Brie, cause that's a good arm
24:47And you gotta say Alice Snedd and Tidyline and Link
24:50Have you got another task for us Paul?
24:53I do Jeremy, and this task is novel if you get my gist
24:56If you get my gist
25:06Hi Paul
25:07Hello Jackie, hi Paul
25:09Hello Pax
25:13Give it a hoon hey Paul
25:15Get the gist of this book
25:17And then adapt it for the screen
25:19You have two minutes to get the gist
25:21One hour to film your adaptation
25:22Most faithful adaptation wins, your time starts now
25:27The scarlet pimpernel
25:29What's a pimpernel? Like a pimple
25:31Paris, 1792
25:33Fisherman, fisherman?
25:35Secret orchard
25:37That's a good keyword here, vengeance
25:39How does it end?
25:41So it ends in a wedding
25:43Might be a wedding on a yacht Paul
25:45At Lord Grenville's Ball
25:46What did you learn?
25:54It's some kind of French Revolution thing
25:57And her first name's Scarlet
25:59Okay
26:01And her last name's...
26:03What's the book called?
26:05Can't say
26:07Pimpernel, I don't know what a pimpernel is
26:09But I took from that pimple
26:11Have you seen the film?
26:12I was a teenager
26:14And it was a sleepover
26:16I was really trying to impress this girl that I quite liked
26:19She was a nine-year-old Maori girl
26:22Sporty
26:23Okay
26:24Maybe she's sunburned or something?
26:26And that's why your parents...
26:27She's scarlet?
26:28Yeah, okay
26:29Is it possible to go black and white except for her face?
26:31Yes, well Schindler's listed
26:37Okay Paul
26:38So none of us have read the scarlet pimpernel
26:40The scarlet pimpernel?
26:41The scarlet pimpernel?
26:42Is that what it's called?
26:43Yes
26:44That's a bad start
26:46So just a little bit of background
26:48The scarlet pimpernel is a man who leads a double life
26:52One as a useless English nobleman
26:54And the other as a hero who rescues French aristocrats
26:58From the guillotine during the reign of terror
27:01This is gonna be real interesting
27:03Okay Paul, who are we gonna see first?
27:05Up first, it's Jacques Ansette
27:07And sit
27:08I do
27:10Oh...
27:12Yeah
27:14Ah, just another day in my secret orchard
27:15Ah, what a...
27:17Sacret...
27:19Is that...
27:20my beloved and that is the fisherman she will regret this for the rest of her days
27:29i lord grenville invite you to the pharisean ball
27:37pretty crazy uh day we had in the orchard the other day
27:47we yeah we yeah you may yeah i see yeah oh my esteemed guests welcome there's nothing fishy
27:57going on here nothing fishy at all going on here i saw you in the secret orchard what with him
28:06i'm going to react badly now no
28:09vengeance so sweet
28:24why you do that are you all right
28:27that's my ick red noses
28:33he's never going to want you ever again the fisherman i forever now brand you with the name
28:40the scarlet pimple now
28:43we'll see
28:45au revoir
28:47credit where credit's due strong performance from the main french character played by you
29:01thank you yeah i'm not going to say even i know what was going on
29:06i think it was pretty bloody good in fairness to you i'm almost too afraid to criticize it
29:11because i can't remember what i did
29:13who's up next paul here's a silent movie from alice snedden
29:17tudino
29:23hey
29:27you
29:3610
29:37you
30:08So I've written down, there's a sunburnt woman who everyone laughs at, she finds a man to hook up with, she doesn't give him a book, so he calls her a sluzzer, he apologises and she promises to obey him for the rest of her life.
30:38No, I think obviously there's more nuance to it than that. We have loyalty through the betrayal, that theme is represented, we have romance, you know, love, the road to love is rough.
30:50So what did that have to do with the French Revolution?
30:54Oh, it's all just set during it.
30:58We're going to pause right there so that you at home could envision what your life would be like with a brand new car or some heavily discounted furniture. Hopefully these ads will help you with that and we'll see you on the other side.
31:08Welcome back to Taskmaster, the only show brave enough to ask the question, what is a pimpernel? Remind us, what task are we in the middle of, Paul?
31:31Our contestants have been given two minutes to get the gist of a novel, The Scarlet Pimpernel, and then adapt it for the screen.
31:38Now let's get back to Paris with Parisis, with Pa, with Parisa, Paxasati.
31:45I don't want to torture you, you know that, right?
31:50Then don't torture me.
31:51I have to, because I'm British.
31:54I will never join the British.
31:56Also, why is your daughter here?
31:58It's weird for her to be here while I'm torturing you.
32:01She goes everywhere with me.
32:03Papa.
32:05Alright.
32:06What's that over there?
32:07What? What is it?
32:11Oh, blimey.
32:13Papa, we got away.
32:15Yes, we did.
32:16What do we do now?
32:18What we were born to do.
32:20Be French.
32:40It's so fun being French.
32:43I caught ya.
32:45There's only one thing left for us to do.
32:48Baguette fight.
32:49Alright, you're on.
32:51Baguette fight it is.
32:52Hongda!
32:56Stop.
32:57Hold on.
32:57Stop this.
32:59What?
32:59I have to tell you something.
33:01What is it?
33:02I'm in love with your daughter.
33:04Oh my God, you're in love with my daughter.
33:07That's right.
33:08Let's go.
33:10Should we take your father?
33:12No.
33:13Alright.
33:14He seems weird anyway.
33:16He's a strange man.
33:22So the most French things that you could think of doing was to look at the Eiffel Tower,
33:26to smoke cigarettes,
33:27and then to eat pasta, Italian food.
33:30A journey through Europe.
33:32Aren't the dogs that kiss French?
33:35No.
33:37I've never had an audience yell,
33:39no.
33:40Yes, yes.
33:41Aren't they your daughter that you're lady in the tramping with?
33:44Yeah, they're French.
33:46They love incest.
33:49Who's up next, Paul?
33:50Representing the French region of Brie, it's Brie.
33:54Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony.
34:02Alright, I guess we'll do this thing.
34:05Someone sent a poop-a-nickel on the deck.
34:07He's finally got a reddish tinge to it, like they've been drinking a lot of beetroot juice.
34:14And I know Lady Blackney's been on a five-day cleanse.
34:17What?
34:19That's...
34:19That's crazy.
34:21Lady Blackney!
34:22How dare you!
34:23Is this true?
34:24Fine.
34:26It was I.
34:27I decided to ruin this wedding by...
34:30defecating on the deck.
34:32I told you why we can't get married!
34:35We're related.
34:36It'd be weird and shit.
34:38I knew you'd say that.
34:39And so I've been researching our family tree.
34:42It turns out we are all cousins.
34:45What?
34:45Everybody on this boat.
34:48I guess if you guys are cool with it, I'm happy to have a family reunion.
34:52You know what I mean?
34:54Not really.
34:55Like, we just make it a cousin three-way.
34:58Colour me interested.
35:00I'm keen.
35:00You keen for that?
35:01Yeah.
35:01I mean, if you...
35:03Alright, come on, you big bitch.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Just three?
35:05Okay.
35:06Come on, Lady Blackney.
35:09The Scarlet Company.
35:15Okay, Bri, so according to you, the Scarlet Pimpernel was set on a boat in Bermuda in the early 1900s.
35:24Like, um, Alice was saying, there was loyalty.
35:27Please don't drag me into this.
35:30Romance?
35:31There was definitely romance.
35:32Well, the romance was a cousin on Cousin Orgy.
35:34Yeah.
35:35And there would be people watching right now that are sitting next to their cousin, saying, wow.
35:43What they'd be saying, according to you, is, come on, you big bitch, let's go.
35:46Okay, who's our last Pimpernel?
35:54She's our only contestant who has some existing knowledge of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:59It's Jackie Van Beek.
36:00My favourite place in the world.
36:02Video easy Johnsonville, Randy.
36:05I love it as well.
36:06What about this one?
36:08Ooh, it's called the Scarlet Pimpernel.
36:10It's about the French people and then, ah, there's a marriage.
36:14Oh, I love romances.
36:16Do you like romances, Randy?
36:18I love romance.
36:19Oh, this sounds amazing.
36:21Oh, my gosh, can you feel it?
36:23It's shaking.
36:24Oh, don't lose your grip.
36:26I can't hold on, Jackie.
36:27But you're sporty.
36:33Oh, my gosh.
36:38We seem to be in another time and place.
36:39Oh, it's freezing.
36:41This doesn't really make sense, though.
36:42Because, I mean, I thought we were meant to be in France.
36:45Oh, God!
36:46Oh!
36:47I think we've got to go.
36:49Wait, the book?
36:50Yes.
36:50What, the DVD, the VHS?
36:52The VHS.
36:55Go.
36:55Get it.
36:56Oh, God, it's got it!
36:57It's got it!
37:01Randy!
37:03Randy!
37:06Wait a minute.
37:06You're not Randy.
37:07Bonjour, mademoiselle.
37:09I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
37:11But I'm looking for Randy, my friend from Johnsonville from 1984.
37:14I do not know what you're talking about.
37:16All I know is we have to go to the ball now.
37:18Why would I go to the ball with you, though, Scarlet Pimpernel?
37:21Because I love you.
37:22Oh, my God.
37:22And I want to marry you.
37:24Oh, no, but my heart's with Randy.
37:26I do not care about this.
37:27All I care about is you.
37:29My heart's with Randy.
37:30I've just got to find a way to get back to Johnsonville.
37:32So, see you later, buster.
37:34Au revoir!
37:34Au revoir.
37:35Au revoir.
37:36Now, how will I get back to Johnsonville?
37:47What an ending.
37:48Thanks, where it ends!
37:50What an ending.
37:51Okay, I've got a couple of questions.
37:53Where did you go in the...
37:54Where was the intermediate place with the beer?
37:57Yeah, Arctic.
37:58It was the Arctic, yeah.
37:58Why were you in the Arctic?
37:59Because portals are crazy.
38:02I absolutely loved it.
38:04I was riveted, but it is unbelievable that you're the only one of us with pre-existing knowledge.
38:09Okay.
38:10None of them had anything to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:13I kind of have to vote on things that were the closest to the Scarlet Pimpernel, I think.
38:17Right.
38:17In that context, I think, Bree, the fact that you set yours in Bermuda in the 1900s probably
38:23means that you get one point.
38:24Alice, there was no mention of the Pimpernel at all, so you get two points.
38:28That is an oversight.
38:31Three points to Jack, because there was some French stuff in there.
38:35This might seem crazy, but I'm going to give four points to Jackie.
38:39What?
38:39Because it had the Scarlet Pimpernel in it.
38:41How many times in that book does a portal pop up?
38:44I know.
38:46And finally, I'll give five points to Pax, because there was a lot of French stuff going
38:50on, and there was some escaping going on.
38:55Time for an air break.
38:56It will take a few minutes, so it should be enough time for you at home to speed read
39:00War and Peace.
39:01I think that's a good idea.
39:02We'll see you in a moment.
39:03Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:18Can I get a scoreboard update, please, Paul?
39:20Currently a three-way tie, all on 13 points.
39:23Jackie, Bree and Alice.
39:26Wow.
39:27They've picked up.
39:28I've got to say, Paul, what a great group of contestants we've got this season.
39:33And do you know, they're all great listeners.
39:36Very true, Jeremy.
39:37I have a fun story, actually.
39:38Very fun story.
39:40You piece of shit.
39:43Oh, no, what?
39:43What do you know that I don't know?
39:45What have you just done?
39:46Let him finish.
39:48During their tasks at the house, there was a small technical difficulty.
39:53And during that technical difficulty, I told them each an identical story that they all
39:58listened to and loved.
40:00No.
40:01Oh, no.
40:01Could you please put on the air muffs that are under your seats?
40:04Oh, no.
40:05This is like torture.
40:06Oh.
40:07Enjoy my story.
40:09Two Fridays ago, I went to Whangarei.
40:13Oh.
40:14And I went to the supermarket.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Then this elderly woman approached me.
40:19Okay.
40:20Well, she wasn't elderly.
40:21She was...
40:21My age.
40:22She was a 63.
40:24Okay.
40:25A little bit older than me.
40:26And she had this wild pink and purple dress on.
40:30And she asked if I could reach the top shelf.
40:34God, that made you feel good.
40:35And get the boysenberry jam.
40:36Uh-huh.
40:37But then when I got it down, she asked how much it was.
40:40And it was $5.90.
40:42And she only had $3.
40:44I didn't know what to do.
40:45Yeah.
40:46I was like, would the strawberry jam suffice?
40:49Yeah.
40:50So the strawberry jam is only $3.
40:52Right.
40:52Which is how much money she had.
40:54But she didn't like strawberry jam.
40:56So she just left.
40:58Are we ready?
41:04Yes, ma'am.
41:04I would like a pen and paper.
41:06How come?
41:06Because I want to write down your stupid little story.
41:10I didn't tell a stupid little story.
41:11You did.
41:12About a 63-year-old woman in a bread aisle.
41:15I told an interesting story.
41:16Who wanted some jam that cost $5.90.
41:18But she only had $3.
41:19So then you got her the strawberry jam and you were in Whangaday.
41:24You were in Whangaday two weeks ago.
41:26Where you met an elderly woman who was 63 years old.
41:30And she wanted some jam.
41:32But she only had $3.
41:33$3.
41:35Okay.
41:36Wasn't that lovely?
41:37You guys can all take your earmuffs off now.
41:39Wow.
41:40And head up to the stage for the final task.
41:43Oh my God.
41:44Okay, Paul.
41:48Who's reading the task tonight?
41:49Pax Asadi.
41:51Recount Paul's story.
41:52Most accurate recounting wins.
41:55You have 30 seconds to recount.
41:57Headphones on and sit down, please.
41:59Oh my God.
42:01Jack?
42:02For Christmas, I would like...
42:06Sit in the chair.
42:07Yeah, I regret that too.
42:09Paul said to me, in the strictest of confidence,
42:17He said...
42:25He was in London with his flatmates.
42:29In my mother's negligee.
42:31And one of them came into his bedroom late at night.
42:34They didn't have a family dog, so they made him the family dog.
42:38And then they tried to milk him.
42:42They were halfway through, and then he was like...
42:44My mother died in a horrible parachute crash in Nicaragua.
42:54But then it all worked out fine, and he's really happily married now.
42:58And that is pretty much the story.
43:01I believe the story is about how Paul went to Whangarei for two weeks.
43:14He went to a supermarket.
43:15It might have been in New World.
43:17And there was a lady there, and she was wearing a top.
43:20It might have been purple.
43:21And I think something was cheaper at the supermarket in Whangarei
43:25than it was at the supermarket in Auckland.
43:27And I can't remember how much.
43:28I'm going to say $2.15.
43:30And then Paul had a great time.
43:35Did I do it?
43:41Ha-ha!
43:42Killing me that I can't hear!
43:47It was the greatest moment of my life!
43:51All right, everyone can take their headphones off,
43:53and we'll head down and score it.
43:58So what do you reckon about that, Paul?
44:00I mean, one of them was pretty good.
44:03Aww.
44:04I would say one point to everybody other than Alice,
44:08who I think probably deserves five points.
44:10Okay.
44:11Wow.
44:11I'll take it.
44:16So in terms of the episode scores, Paul, where are we sitting?
44:19The winner of episode six with 18 points, Alice Sneddon!
44:24Woo!
44:27Congrats.
44:28Congratulations, Alice.
44:29Please head up to the stage and claim your snappable things.
44:33Woo!
44:34See you next time.
44:37Mā te wa.
44:41That's my sister!
44:43Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:47Yeah!
44:55This is one of the great redemption stories of Taskmaster.
44:58No, no, no, no!
44:59Ah!
45:00I'm feeling deflated.
45:01At least I look cruel in all these tasks.
45:04Oh, please.
45:05I'm a fantastic sports person.
45:09Razzle, razzle, baby.
45:12Yes!
45:13Yes!
45:13Yes!
45:14Finished.
45:15I'm not.
45:15No, no, no, no, no.
45:15I'm just running.
45:16Nice.
45:16I'm not.
45:16I'm just...
45:24I'm not.
45:26I'm not.
45:28I'm not.
45:30I'm not.
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