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Taskmaster.NZ.S06E02 >>> https://dai.ly/x9p1ws8
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00:00PULL!
00:12Yes!
00:14Oh, ma'am.
00:16Au revoir!
00:20Yeah! Oh, no!
00:26Ah!
00:30Tēnā koutou katoa, nau mai, haere mai, and welcome to a brand new season of Taskmaster New Zealand.
00:43My name is Jeremy Wells, and every year, as part of my charity work in the Big Buddy Little Buddy program,
00:50I arrange for five comedians to spend time with my little buddy Paul here,
00:55completing a series of tasks that feel surprisingly high stakes,
00:59considering the fact that none of this matters in the slightest.
01:04These comedians aren't just here out of the goodness of their hearts.
01:07They're here for this.
01:10My golden head.
01:11So, let's introduce the five comedians who for the next ten weeks will be gaining points and losing dignity.
01:19Please, put your hands together for...
01:21Alice Sneddon!
01:23APPLAUSE
01:25Brie Thomassel!
01:27Jack Ansett!
01:29Jackie Dambique!
01:31And Pat Sasadi!
01:33And joining me, as always, is the man who calls me his best friend for life,
01:40and who I'm proud to call an occasional colleague.
01:43It's my assistant, ladies and gentlemen, Paul Williams!
01:51How's it going, Paul?
01:59Paul has taken a two-month vow of silence.
02:03So, how long has you got to go?
02:07I'm good.
02:09OK.
02:11Thank you, Lachlan.
02:14Wow.
02:16Good to be back.
02:17That monk's name is Lachlan?
02:19Yeah.
02:22Wow.
02:24First up, as always, we'll be beginning with the prize task.
02:28Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the thing that gives them the most street cred.
02:34And whoever wins tonight's episode will take home all five things and the respect of the streets.
02:41What did you bring in, Alice?
02:43There's nothing that gives you more street cred than drugs.
02:46But I wasn't allowed to bring in any of those, so I thought, what's second best?
02:54And that is a list of people who both do drugs and are successful.
03:01But what's incredible about the list is the company I'm in.
03:05Up the top, Elon Musk.
03:07Wow.
03:09So, obviously, this list was created a while ago, where that was actually a bigger get.
03:13Number four, Barack Obama.
03:17And then coming in at number three, Alice Sneddon.
03:20How did you end up on this list?
03:22Have you openly been a weed smoker?
03:25Yeah.
03:26Have you openly been successful?
03:28Oh, Pat.
03:30That's actually something I prefer to keep private.
03:33Brie, what did you bring in?
03:35Look, Jeremy, I thought, what gives me the most street cred?
03:38It's my personalised number plates.
03:40Oh.
03:41Oh my God.
03:42Flashball.
03:44I wish I was joking.
03:46Yeah.
03:48So you do realise that if you don't win this prize task, those number plates go to the person who wins the episode.
03:54And that's why I think everyone will let me win tonight.
03:57And I would actually like to withdraw from competition.
04:01Jack, what did you bring in?
04:02I emailed New Zealand's longest-running soap opera, Shortland Street, and I asked if I could be on an episode, and they said yes, and I got an actual street cred.
04:13There we are.
04:14There you go.
04:15Thank you, yeah.
04:16Congratulations.
04:17Very impressive.
04:18I also have been on the street.
04:21I've also been on the street.
04:23Oh, for f***ing sakes.
04:24Has anyone not been on Shortland Street?
04:26Everyone's been, everyone here has probably been on Shortland Street.
04:29Anyone in the audience been on Shortland Street?
04:30Yeah, there's a few there on, too.
04:35Jackie, what did you bring in for the prize task?
04:37So, I freaked, and I went to the internet, and I just typed in, like, you know, what could give me street cred.
04:44It said, there are a few ways you can get street cred without being in a gang.
04:49So I thought, great.
04:51Always be honest in your business interactions.
04:54No one wants to buy molly from a guy who's known to cut it with meth.
04:57So, that's good.
05:00This is my research.
05:02But, but, but, but, but, but, here we go.
05:04A better idea is not trying to get street cred.
05:08It doesn't really get you anywhere later in life.
05:10I'm 49.
05:12It's way safer, more profitable, and ultimately more respectable to stay on the straightish and narrowish.
05:18Hmm.
05:19So I actually, um, yeah, I chose to put up reading glasses to kind of go against the street cred.
05:28Oh.
05:30Weirdly, I still think this is better than Jack's.
05:32Oh.
05:33Oh, a hundred percent! A hundred percent!
05:35Pax, what did you bring in?
05:37Something that I think gives you a lot of street cred is breaking and entering.
05:42Um, and I've stolen something that you may recognise.
05:46Oh.
05:48Oh.
05:50Oh.
05:51Oh.
05:52Oh is right.
05:53Oh.
05:54What happened to the bat?
05:56Where's the, where's the bat gone?
05:57You broke it.
05:58You broke it.
05:59There's only 200 of those in existence.
06:00Well, there were when they were made.
06:02Yeah, uh, it was already like that.
06:05I also have footage of me stealing it if you'd like to see that.
06:07Could have you not least stole the Mike Hosking puppet?
06:11No.
06:12I found that terrifying.
06:14I feel really guilty and I have to show, I did more.
06:19Oh you are.
06:20Oh no.
06:22Oh that's what he's doing.
06:26I just couldn't resist.
06:28I couldn't resist.
06:29It's gonna be hard for me to judge this.
06:31Who do I give one point to?
06:33It's hard to know who not to give one point to.
06:37I think I'm gonna go Jackie's glasses one.
06:41Two points for Brie and the number plates.
06:44That's fair.
06:45God help me.
06:46Three points for Jack.
06:47Easy tiger.
06:48I'm gonna go four points for Alice.
06:51And it was an impressive effort from you Pax.
06:53Despite the fact that you've stolen one of my most treasured possessions.
06:56Five points for Pax.
07:02Okay enough admin.
07:03I'm ready for the first proper task of the show Paul.
07:07Sure thing Jeremy.
07:08Oh my god I'm so nervous.
07:09In a Taskmaster New Zealand first.
07:11This season our contestants completed some of their tasks at a new location.
07:17That location.
07:19Rainbow's End.
07:21New Zealand's best and only theme park.
07:24Here is one of those tasks.
07:27And this one has our contestants bouncing off the walls.
07:37Oh.
07:39Is that you Paul?
07:40Yeah.
07:41Hello Paul.
07:42Hello Brie.
07:43Hello Alice.
07:44Hello Paul.
07:45Hello Jackie.
07:46Hello Jackie.
07:52I just wanted to keep it traditional.
07:55Alrighty here we go.
07:57With one roll bounce this ball off the walls as many times as possible before knocking over the toilet paper tower.
08:07You may not touch the ball in any manner once you have rolled it.
08:12Most times the ball hits a wall before it knocks over the tower winds.
08:16You have 18 minutes to prepare and then one official attempt.
08:20To signal your official attempt say the phrase let the good times roll before rolling your ball.
08:26Your time starts now.
08:28Okay that's a piece of piss.
08:30You can practice but you have one official role.
08:33And I can use these?
08:34Mhm.
08:35That is what they're for?
08:36Okay.
08:37Alright thank you Paul.
08:43Seems pretty simple.
08:44I guess we need to address a couple of things firstly.
08:47Jack.
08:48Yeah.
08:49Any reason why you're dressed like David Bain representing Dunedin in Top Town 1986?
08:54Wow.
08:55Wow.
08:56Jeremy I'd argue I'm always dressed like David Bain.
08:59Yeah I actually dressed as a runner.
09:02Did that not come across?
09:04He used to do a paper run.
09:10I actually auditioned to be a young David Bain in the David Bain TV show.
09:14Yeah.
09:15I don't know if you've ever been in a waiting room full of David Bain lookalikes before.
09:20But yeah there haven't been that many Bains in one room since 1994.
09:25But anyway.
09:26Um.
09:27Sorry.
09:28Okay.
09:29Um.
09:30Okay Paul.
09:31Whose blue roll bowling are we going to see first?
09:33What do Mad Men, Scream 4 and the Lego Movie all have in common?
09:38It's Alison Brie.
09:39Woo!
09:40Well I'm just going to give it a go.
09:42I just want to give it a hoon and not touch any of this stuff.
09:45No that's not going to work.
09:48Okay.
09:49Well that was shit.
09:50No.
09:51Okay.
09:52Do I have to get that ball?
09:53Ideally.
09:54Oh shit.
09:55I'm going to make like a tunnel and then just whip it.
10:00Paul, if ever my ass doesn't look good you tell me okay?
10:04Okay.
10:05This is what tradies must feel like on the job.
10:14Yeah.
10:15Hard day's work.
10:16You've been going for about seven minutes.
10:18Okay what do you reckon?
10:19That looks pretty good.
10:20I could have a practice right now.
10:22Yes.
10:23Oh shit.
10:24You little shit.
10:25Oh.
10:26What am I missing?
10:27On that time you missed the tower.
10:40Well that wasn't good was it?
10:46Just quite a lot of wall touches.
10:51Yeah.
10:52Okay.
10:53Cool.
10:54Great.
10:55We'll do one.
10:56What's the phrase?
10:57Let the good times roll.
10:58That's one.
10:59That's two.
11:00That's three.
11:01That's four.
11:02That's one.
11:03That's six.
11:04Let the good times roll.
11:05Okay.
11:06So task number one.
11:19How many tasks are we going to expect you to be starting with the words let's give this
11:26a home?
11:27I'm afraid too many.
11:29I can't tell you how confident I was going into this and how already that confidence is
11:37shattered.
11:38Wow.
11:39Brie seven minutes doing a task and you're talking about a hard day's work.
11:44I've got asthma but I was genuinely puffed and I was like how can I stop from running
11:50as many times and I just thought make it more narrow and hopefully get more bounces.
11:54Obviously planned in turn out.
11:56You know and that's life.
11:57Wow.
11:58That's actually beautiful.
11:59Yeah thank you.
12:00I like that.
12:01That's an inspiration to all kids out there with asthma.
12:04Yeah.
12:05So Brie obviously built walls.
12:08Thoughts on that?
12:09I think that's fine.
12:10Okay.
12:11I felt like that was okay.
12:12So just to clarify Paul how many wall touches have we got for Alice and Brie?
12:16Uh Brie four.
12:18Four?
12:19Alice.
12:20Yes.
12:21Are you sure?
12:22Yes.
12:23Fair enough.
12:27Wow.
12:28Back down quickly there.
12:29Alice eight.
12:30Oh wow.
12:31Okay.
12:32Alright.
12:33Good news.
12:34It's time for the first ad break of the season.
12:36Make sure you savour every moment because after this there's only 39 more to go.
12:42See you soon.
12:52Welcome back to the season six premiere of Castmaster Museum.
13:02Where were we Paul?
13:03Our five contestants are attempting to bounce a ball off some walls as many times as possible
13:08before knocking over a toilet paper tower.
13:11Up next it's time for a PB&J sandwich.
13:15Pax, Ball and Jackie.
13:18So you're going to move the tower?
13:20Yeah.
13:21Where are you moving it to?
13:22Don't talk to me right now Paul.
13:23I feel like I need probably about 200 more of these.
13:26Okay.
13:27Is that a possibility?
13:28No.
13:29You're not a yes guy.
13:30Oh sorry.
13:31But I would argue yes I am.
13:33So you're building your own walls?
13:35Yeah.
13:36My therapist told me that I need to stop building walls or else my marriage is destined to fail.
13:40So you're still building walls?
13:42Yeah.
13:43My marriage.
13:44It's going well actually.
13:45Okay.
13:46We did it recently my wife and I.
13:48Did what?
13:49Sex Paul we did sex.
13:50Wow.
13:51What are you doing?
13:52I'm frozen in panic.
13:53Okay.
13:54How to let the good time.
13:55What?
13:56Gotta let the good times?
13:57I don't know sayings.
13:58I don't know white people sayings.
13:59Oh just let the good times roll.
14:00Let the good times roll.
14:01Got that one.
14:02Kind of touching it.
14:03Oh two.
14:04What?
14:04Gotta let the good times?
14:07I don't know sayings.
14:08I don't know white people sayings.
14:09Oh, just let the good times roll.
14:21Let the good times roll.
14:29Got that one.
14:30Kind of touching it.
14:31Two, two, three, four.
14:34Come on, you ripper.
14:36Bang.
14:45There is a rage within me, Paul.
14:46That is a torrent right now.
15:00Alison, Bree, you must be feeling a lot better
15:02about your attempts now.
15:03Oh my God.
15:04I feel so smug.
15:05My marriage has gotten worse since then.
15:10I mean, Pax.
15:11I know.
15:12I mean, I didn't think that you were smart,
15:14but I didn't think you were that stupid.
15:16I panicked.
15:17I didn't think it through.
15:18I was thinking about sex and my wife.
15:21It distracted me.
15:22My memory is so shot that I, just watching that now,
15:25I was like, this is going so well.
15:27I was like, oh my God, I could be the winner.
15:29And I'd forgotten that I didn't get any of the toilet paper
15:32wrong.
15:33That was like a live experience for me just then.
15:34That was heartbreaking.
15:35The good news for everybody is there's one more attempt.
15:38Oh shit.
15:40All he has to do is knock over the tower
15:42for a podium finish.
15:43It's Jack Ansett.
15:44Hi, Mum.
15:45Is your mum going to watch this?
15:46No, she hates this show.
15:47Oh yeah.
15:48Okay.
15:49Is that the no vaping sign?
15:50Okay.
15:51Where's that ball?
15:52Oh God.
15:53Where did I put the ball?
15:54Have you heard on the ball?
15:55Oh.
15:56Oh.
15:57Oh.
15:58Oh.
15:59Oh.
16:00Oh.
16:01Oh.
16:02Oh.
16:03Oh.
16:04Oh.
16:05Oh.
16:06Oh.
16:07Oh.
16:08Oh.
16:09Oh.
16:10Oh.
16:11Oh.
16:12Oh.
16:13Oh.
16:14Oh.
16:15Where's the ball?
16:16Oh.
16:17Oh no.
16:18I've lost the ball.
16:20No.
16:21I've lost the ball.
16:22You've got five minutes.
16:24This is part of it.
16:25This is your little, these are your little tricks.
16:27You've hidden it.
16:28Where would they have hidden the ball?
16:30You.
16:31Where is the ball?
16:32Hey.
16:33Hey.
16:34Hey.
16:35Where's the ball?
16:36$300.
16:37You've got 93 seconds.
16:3893.
16:39I want to reimburse this.
16:43That might damage someone's drink bottle.
16:45These people don't care.
16:46I offered that guy $300.
16:48They honestly couldn't care less.
16:49He might want to get out of the way Paul.
16:51Let the good times rule!
16:54You took the ball!
16:55I looked there!
16:56He did not.
16:57He did not.
16:58Hey Jeremy.
16:59What were you saying about me being not that bright?
17:00I have been thinking about this so much.
17:04You took the ball!
17:06I looked there!
17:07He did not.
17:08He did not.
17:09Hey Jeremy.
17:10What were you saying about me being not that bright?
17:25I have been thinking about this so much whether you took the ball whether you
17:31didn't take the ball I looked everywhere I looked in the bushes I think it's
17:35clear there's one place you didn't look I will also say Zane our crew members
17:41drink bottle cost $79.90 Jack never reimburse so this is pretty clear to me
17:50Jack gets zero because he didn't even roll a ball the fact that Jackie and Pax
17:55didn't knock over the tower but I had them I had those concrete walls or Jackie
17:59also did hit the tower she had the tower knock over so I think Pax should get one
18:06okay I think Jackie should probably get two okay happy with that and then we go
18:11up a lot to Bree who should get four yep and then I think it's fair to say that
18:17Alice should definitely get five that makes sense so Paul where does that leave the
18:26points for this episode so far out in front with nine points Alice Sneddon let's get
18:34to the next task let me address the elephant in the room and stop beating
18:38around the bush once in a blue moon a task comes along that is truly not a piece of
18:42cake will our contestants hit the ground running pass with flying colors and end up
18:46on cloud nine or will they drop the ball bark up the wrong tree shoot
18:50themselves in the foot throw the towel in and watch five points go up and smoke
18:54here it is
19:04hey Paul hello Alice Paul hello Bree oh dear this is a mess oh no don't get upset
19:16okay here we go film an origin story for your favorite idiom you have 40 minutes your time
19:28starts now idiom what is it idiom like a saying mm-hmm like don't go crying over spilt milk there
19:36any that you use a lot kick it in the dick have you heard of that one no can you just type in like
19:41examples of idioms please okay break a leg beat around the bush cut somebody some slack cutting
19:48corners just slow down easy does it you could have said easy does it none of these are working for me
19:55okay I want you to google random idiom generator okay generate me a random idiom that's the one
20:01we're doing go flea market
20:04I was interested that's two contestants first instincts when they see spilt milk on a table was
20:16to table suck and I'm lactose intolerant yeah also also that was PVA glue I was quite
20:25relieved I'm ready for some idiom origins Paul who is going to start us off Alice in the hand is
20:38with Sneddon the bush it's Alice Sneddon all right lads big day today okay you know we're t-minus 15 seconds
20:49away from launch here we go certain there's a problem what Williams speak to me I'm sorry sir
20:59I'm really struggling here I just can't get my sock on get it on now what's wrong come on hurry up I
21:05know it sounds crazy but it's really hard like I'm not very flexible and I'm like lying in my back and I'm
21:11all strapped in we're t-minus 5 seconds it's really tough damn it boy it's not rocket science it's true
21:20so you lost Paul in an unfortunate incident and then your first thought was I'm going on smoker yeah I
21:45was smoking the whole time but back in the day at NASA they they encouraged that yeah because smoking
21:50actually helped you fly yeah interesting but for me was you had issues with your sock but I couldn't
21:55get my sock on you already seem to have a sock on yes that is correct I mean that was mainly I just
22:00didn't want people to see my feet yeah that was a creative difference that Paul and I had I really
22:06wanted him to get his feet out and he declined currently on wiki feet my feet are at a 3.5 so if
22:14you're at home if you could help get those numbers up I can think of one way mate that you would have
22:19really driven that score up okay who's that even are we gonna see next she has an amazing birds kill
22:25to stones thrown ratio it's Jackie van Beek hello Barry oh hi Cheryl what's this poor sod done then
22:37oh yeah technically nothing but you know I've just got so much frustration because basically I'm addicted
22:43to killing and I can't sleep unless I kill somebody I've not slept in a week but it's not fair like
22:49well he's done nothing it's just a poor innocent bloke yeah but you're not hearing me I can't sleep
22:54yeah I'm hearing you I'll tell you what I want you to stop killing people stop killing innocents and I
23:01want you to give my sack a nice big hit you want me to hit the sack yeah three times that's it how do
23:10you feel oh my gosh he's fallen asleep look at this would you I think you're gonna be free I think
23:20everything's gonna be okay oh okay and that my friends is the origin story of hit the sack thank you
23:30very good Jackie very good really good beautiful some fascinating character development there just
23:41give us the origin stories of is it Barry and Cheryl yes is that right yeah so Cheryl was an old wise
23:48hag that lived in the woodlands and Barry was a very aggressive executioner I feel like there was
23:55chemistry there I think so yeah I felt I felt like Paul fell asleep in quite a horny way wow I was
24:04disappointed at the end that Cheryl broke the fourth wall because oh how obvious did you need to make it
24:10it's it's education it's educational so of course the audience need it as I'm doing right now you know
24:15you speak you speak to them that is a rapport so it's like we put on a brilliant piece of cinema but
24:20we also educate it's a relationship we've got three more origin stories to go but first it's time to
24:27watch the origin stories of some excellent goods and services we'll see you after the break
24:31welcome back to taskmaster the only show on television brave enough to show Paul Williams burning to
24:51our contestants are showing us the origin stories of idioms up next proving that the apple doesn't
25:00fall far from the Brie it's Brie Thomas L come on Tenzing we've done it the summit of Everest and look
25:11I just got 10,000 steps congrats only one thing left to do yes Tenzing I've done it my greatest achievement ever
25:24yes let's go you kicked me in the dick you're right you're right Tenzing I indeed kicked it in the dick
25:35me sir Edmund Hillary dick kicker firstly I'd like to say what a beautiful tribute to the great sir Edmund
25:49Hillary and the great Tenzing Norgay the first thing I did and I'm not joking is I got back to
25:55the room and googled whether sir Edmund was dead or not because I was so worried about him seeing it
26:00did she actually kick you in the private parts it was good acting it was a bit of movie magic okay
26:06yeah he shoved a pillow down his pants oh so you committed to that yeah it was a small pillow but
26:12there was a pillow yeah some pretty brave casting I'd say of Tenzing there you know I would have
26:19thought that you'd get a Nepalese actor I can famously do any accent and and people say Paul you can't do a
26:27Japanese accent and I'm like you don't believe I'm that capable Invercargill accent go purple
26:37bang on yeah it's actually bang on pretty good it was really good you nailed it whose idiom origin story
26:47we're seeing this Paul it's raining packs and dogs it's pack society oh my favorite place in
26:54the world the Avondale markets well well well my old nemesis you know that this used to be my
27:02table when I would deal fleas and sell fleas to people the flea industry collapsed why would I ever
27:08want to play I don't know you want to make your dog thinner you cover it in fleas it'll lose a bunch of
27:14blood and it'll be a thinner sexier dog oh okay yeah I do want my dog to be sexy I'm gonna start
27:21my own market and we're gonna deal in all types of very small insects what are you gonna call this
27:30thing I guess I'm just gonna call it a flea market
27:36that'll make sense by 2003 okay so plenty to unpack there can you explain the glasses not really no I
27:59I found them on my way to shoot the scene and I put them on I thought they were meant to indicate
28:04that you were a flea they were meant to indicate that I was a flea flea market is not an idiom
28:12we're all ignoring the elephant in the room that's a good idiom I just cursed all of you okay on all
28:25your children it's my daughter's birthday I can't take it back so it is technically a noun oh you made an
28:38incredible film for the origin of a noun yeah I reckon you'd win if it was that category makes sense
28:45we've still got check to go yes he's a jack of all trades master of all trades it's jack ansett
28:51okay Paul I've got an idea let's go for a walk go for a walk yeah you've only got 26 minutes
28:59well hurry up come on okay yeah come on let's go so do you have an idea an idea yeah yeah I've got an
29:08idea Paul yeah well we're just enjoying a nice walk together right now what was that I don't know
29:14just the kind of thing friends do okay take a step back Paul wow I really think we should get back on
29:26task get back on task yeah okay yep I give in I really feel like we should get back on task yeah okay
29:48let's cool sorry sorry about that yeah um you're almost out of time to do the the task hey Paul look at
30:00me slow and steady wins the race so what we had there was a romantic walk you played some golf you had a
30:18shirtless wrestle yes I like that then you had a romantic meal for two yes correct that's the
30:24origin of slow and steady wins the race you don't know that so I did look up the the origin and it's
30:31from a pretty famous race between a tortoise and a hare yeah don't think this was gonna go this way out of
30:38interest which way did you see it going everyone would applaud and standing ovation five points to be
30:44honest with you Alice so in terms of marking I'm gonna give one point to Pax it wasn't even an idiom
30:52two points to you Jack but for the shirtless wrestling because I thought that was quite good I did love
30:57that yeah great I'll give you three points because unfortunately you besmirched a national icon four
31:03points for Jackie great character development there and Alice that gives you five points at the end
31:09so now it's time for one of my favorite commonly used phrases we'll see you after the break bye for me
31:18welcome back to taskmaster if you just joined us you are late and I'm afraid you're going to have to
31:35stay behind after this episode and help us clean up the studio now it's time for another task Paul I
31:41believe it sure is Jeremy and this one's a whole lot of fun oh hello Jackie hello hi Paul hello Brie
31:56hello Pax I need a fart done get this balloon through the hole and into the jar you may not touch to the
32:09balloon in any way other than popping it with the pin you may not touch the string or the tissues in
32:17any way other than cutting the tissues with the scissors you may not touch the whole wall the whole
32:24wall of the whole wall in any way gosh so this is the whole wall yeah I'll move I assumed that fastest
32:34winds your time starts now far out this is a bit of fun isn't it what's happening here so it's so
32:42it's helium mm-hmm so it'll go up to the sky if the tissues are lighter
32:46have you got it Alice it's there's quite a lot in this task yeah it's one of the more confusing ones
32:59that we've done balloons gaps through holes a lot going on yeah yeah tissues on the bottom yeah it's
33:05also one I had no idea if it's possible I mean the word that really kind of springs out to me when I
33:12watched rewatch that is fastest that's the word that sticks with me just to say that's beautiful
33:17and it does it does it stick with you in a positive or negative way incredibly positive but just that
33:23word all right shall we see the first one it's the three contestants who don't have Jack in their name
33:31Brie Alice and Pax who comes up with this shit Paul it's not shit is this what you wanted me down on all
33:41fours cutting tissue like this I told you needed a fire okay come on oh oh no no come back to me
34:11it's too heavy again I know Paul yes yes okay okay went through the hole I did
34:31through the hole
34:35oh no oh no oh no what do I do now I think the tissues got quite heavy yeah no shit Paul
34:47no how does science work
34:55if I had a baby this is what I'd sound like
35:01go in the jar
35:13so in the jar
35:21did anyone actually get the balloon in the jar of those three no okay Alice you you grabbing the jar
35:45was brilliant yeah unfortunately it didn't lead to success yeah because I'm actually quite afraid
35:51of why don't like loud noises that catch me off guard so she's not lying sorry I mean it was you that
36:04popped it yeah I got a big fright yeah as I popped it I think I actually moved the jar away who's
36:12attempt that we're gonna see next Paul in this task the jar is key it's Jarkey Van Beek
36:34stop the clock
36:39maybe not the most entertaining but certainly fastest I would get clinical you would describe that as
37:01clinical you know what I thought to be entirely honest I did think I bet everyone else's videos are gonna be fun and entertaining and crazy and zany
37:10mine's mine's gonna win
37:12you know I mean
37:14mine wasn't any of that anyway and it's still lost
37:16I would trade what I did for what you did any day I think I've fallen in love with you
37:20okay how long did that take Jackie it was very fast two minutes and eight seconds
37:27wow who have we got left Paul continuing his trend of always going last it's Jack and Sam
37:35okay
37:36oh
37:37oh
37:38oh my god
37:40oh
37:41oh
37:42oh my god
37:44oh
37:45oh
37:46oh
37:47oh
37:48oh
37:49oh
37:50oh wow
37:51oh wow
37:52oh wow
37:53oh wow
37:54oh wow is that supposed to happen is what supposed to happen is that supposed to pop
37:55oh I mean you were the one doing it
37:56oh it's in the water oh great
37:58oh
37:59oh
38:00oh
38:01oh
38:03look at that
38:06Hawking hold this while I say come around the corner
38:08thanks
38:09it's amazing how things like this just work out sometimes though
38:18wow
38:19top of the clock
38:20pretty good
38:21baby
38:22you're smiling
38:23it's pretty good
38:24wow
38:25it's up the clock
38:27You seem genuinely surprised that a helium balloon, when you cut the string, goes up
38:35to the ceiling.
38:36I was worried for a moment that you were going to lose the balloon.
38:38I genuinely thought, oh no, he's going to, but no, but you've got it.
38:40No, no, no.
38:41Just a fate, from some fate of the gods that landed in the fishbowl, and voila, and, yeah.
38:47Wow, this is like a make a wish.
38:50Okay, so Jackie's time was two minutes and eight seconds.
38:55Incredible.
38:56Jack?
38:57One minute forty-nine.
38:58Wow.
38:59Yeah, but still, it's not everything, is it?
39:04Was fastest not the key word?
39:05Fastest wins.
39:06Yeah, fastest wins.
39:11I'm sorry, but can I just say?
39:13Terrific.
39:14This one's not too hard to judge, to be honest, because I think there's two categories.
39:17There's the people who got the balloon in the jar, and there's the people who didn't.
39:21So, zero points for those guys.
39:24Okay.
39:25Okay, so that's four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack.
39:29Okay.
39:30Wow.
39:31How good does that feel?
39:32You've been there.
39:33You've been there.
39:34I have been there.
39:35It feels good.
39:36It feels good.
39:37I have been there.
39:38I'm going to go to the end of part four.
39:39Come back soon to see which of our comedians will win a pair of old reading glasses and
39:42some 1970s paste bowler memorabilia.
39:45The stakes could not be higher.
39:46We'll see you just after this.
39:48Welcome back to the last bit of the first F of the sixth season of Taskmaster.
39:54Now we've just got one live task to go, but before we get there, Paul, can I have a scoreboard
40:01update, please?
40:02Leading the pack with 14 points, Alice Sneddon.
40:03All right, you guys.
40:04If you can please now head up to the stage for your first live task of the season.
40:06All right, Paul, who's going to read out the task?
40:08Paxasadi.
40:09Throw fish into the barrel.
40:10Most fish successfully thrown into the barrel.
40:11We've got one live task to go, but before we get there, Paul, can I have a scoreboard
40:14update, please?
40:15Leading the pack with 14 points, Alice Sneddon.
40:18All right, you guys.
40:22If you can please now head up to the stage for your first live task of the season.
40:27All right, Paul, who's going to read out the task?
40:32Paxasadi.
40:33Throw fish into the barrel.
40:36Most fish successfully thrown into the barrel wins.
40:39You have 30 seconds, minus the number of fish you wish to throw.
40:43You may throw the same fish more than once.
40:46You must throw from the spot and must not move the spot or barrel.
40:51Okay, from the top?
40:52I can't understand anything you've just said.
40:54Yeah.
40:55I'm starting to see how you couldn't find the ball.
41:00Please pick up your blackboards, write the amount of fish, and then minus that number
41:05from 30, and that's your time.
41:06Oh, no.
41:07So 10 fish, 10 seconds.
41:09No, 10 fish, 20 seconds.
41:1010 fish would be 20 seconds.
41:11Stop!
41:12Stop it!
41:13Yeah.
41:14Stay in school, kids.
41:15Oh!
41:16So if I'm going four fish, no chips.
41:18No chips?
41:19If I go four fish, no chips, how many seconds?
41:2226 seconds.
41:23On the count of three, reveal your fish.
41:26One, two, three.
41:28I love how Paul's entered angry teacher phase.
41:32We're going to throw an order of the scoreboard.
41:36Everyone except Alice, please take a seat on the bench.
41:39Alice selected 15 fish in 15 seconds.
41:43Begin.
41:4410 seconds.
41:45Yeah!
41:468 seconds.
41:47Yeah!
41:486 seconds.
41:494 seconds.
41:50Oh, no!
41:51Oh, no!
41:52Oh, no!
41:53Alice scored two fish.
41:54Up next, Jackie Van Beek.
41:55Are you going to do a backflip?
41:56Yeah.
41:57Four fish, 26 seconds.
41:58This is her Olympics.
41:59Three, two, one.
42:00Fish.
42:01Oh!
42:02I forgot she can run.
42:03No, no, no!
42:04Do I have to come back up here?
42:05You've got to throw from there, yes.
42:06Oh, I didn't know that!
42:07I didn't know that!
42:08I didn't know that!
42:09Oh, no!
42:10Oh, no!
42:11Oh, no!
42:12Oh, no!
42:13Oh, no!
42:14Oh, no!
42:15Oh, no!
42:16Oh, no!
42:17Oh, no!
42:18Oh, no!
42:19Oh, no!
42:20Oh, no!
42:21Oh, no!
42:22Oh, no!
42:23Oh, no!
42:24Oh, no!
42:25Oh, no!
42:26I didn't know that!
42:27Oh, Jackie!
42:28Ten seconds.
42:31Seven.
42:32Six.
42:34Oh.
42:36Oh!
42:37Don't get them!
42:38Don't get them!
42:39Jackie!
42:40Jackie scored zero fish.
42:42Up next, Jack Anset.
42:44Yeah.
42:45Five fish, 25 seconds.
42:46Three.
42:47Let's do it.
42:48Two.
42:49One.
42:50Fish.
42:51Oh, for sake.
42:54Yay!
42:55Pop them in!
42:56Pop them in!
42:57Pop them in!
42:58Just pop them in!
42:59Pop them in!
43:01You've got ten seconds.
43:06Don't panic!
43:07Don't panic!
43:08Two seconds.
43:10Yeah, I killed.
43:12Nice chewing.
43:14Nice chewing.
43:15Nice chewing.
43:16Jack scored two fish.
43:17Up next, Brie Tomasel.
43:18Go, Brie.
43:19Brie selected 15 seconds and 15 fish.
43:22Three.
43:23Two.
43:24One.
43:25Begin.
43:26A lot of gusto.
43:27To the left.
43:28To the left.
43:29To the left.
43:30To the left.
43:31To the right.
43:32Oh!
43:33Oh!
43:34What?
43:35Oh!
43:36Oh!
43:37Three seconds.
43:38Oh!
43:39Yes!
43:40Yes!
43:41Yes!
43:42Yes!
43:43Oh!
43:44That was great.
43:45Three scored two fish.
43:46Last up, Pax Asadi.
43:47Pax selected 15 fish in 15 seconds.
43:50Three, two, one, fish.
43:52LeBron!
43:53Oh!
43:54No!
43:55Kobe!
43:56Oh!
43:57No!
43:58Yes, Pax!
43:59No!
44:00Yes, Pax!
44:05Wow!
44:06What an arsehole!
44:09All right, everyone.
44:10Come on down and we'll see how that's affected the scores.
44:15All right, Paul, I am ready to find out who won the live task and who won the episode.
44:25Okay, so in terms of fish, Jackie, zero fish.
44:29Alice, Bree and Jack, all two fish each.
44:31And the winner, with three fish, out of three throws, Pax Asadi.
44:36Incredible.
44:38You can't be stopped.
44:39One point for Jackie.
44:40Okay.
44:41Three points for Jack, Bree and Alice.
44:44And five points for Pax.
44:46Okay.
44:47Thank you, Charles Master.
44:48Yeah.
44:49Can I get that footage of me throwing fish, by the way?
44:51It's gonna go on TV.
44:52Oh, yeah, cool.
44:53Oh, right.
44:54Oh, yeah, sick, sick, sick.
44:55That means the winner of episode one, with 17 points, is Alice Sneddon.
45:03Congratulations, Alice.
45:05Please head up to the stage and enjoy your newfound street credentials.
45:10We are already 10% through the series.
45:13But what have we learned from episode one?
45:15Well, we learned that Alice Sneddon is one better than Barack Obama.
45:19If you can't find a ball, then we haven't hidden it.
45:22Most importantly, we've learned that the winner of episode one is Alice Sneddon.
45:27We'll see you next time.
45:28Let's go.
45:29Let's go.
45:30You cannot get through this without crying.
45:36Oh, g'day, guys.
45:37G'day, Paul.
45:38How's this?
45:39I miss my kids.
45:40I'm so sorry about what happened.
45:41This is how we can do this.
45:42Let's go.
45:43Let's go.
45:44Let's go.
45:45Let's go.
45:47Let's go.
45:48Let's go.
45:50Let's go.
45:51Let's go.
45:52Let's go.
45:53You cannot get through this without crying.
45:54Oh, g'day, guys.
45:55G'day, cool.
45:56How's things?
45:57I miss my kids.
45:58Oh.
45:59I'm so sorry about what happened.
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