- 3 months ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh, my God.
00:01Whoa!
00:03Previously on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
00:06So you didn't purchase sperm?
00:07That's what I need you to help me with.
00:08I'm about to pull up the website.
00:10The sperm has been ordered.
00:11He's 6'7", 218.
00:13That's our boy.
00:14And now I am one step closer to becoming pregnant.
00:18You're going forward?
00:19The sperm is going forward.
00:22I'm about to inseminate myself.
00:25Things are getting really real.
00:27My big, big boy.
00:28I need to put you in charge of his memorial.
00:30Celebrating Henchy's life is really important to me.
00:33I love that cat.
00:35How many are going to be in attendance?
00:36If it's Ashley, then it can't be Tal.
00:37If it's Tal, then it can't be Ashley.
00:39Tal and Ashley had this falling out.
00:41But this is Henchy's feud.
00:43And I will not be having a cat fight.
00:45We're right.
00:46Meow.
00:47Meow.
00:58Meow.
00:59Meow.
01:00Meow.
01:01Meow.
01:02Meow.
01:03Look at that.
01:04Dad, you're so fluid with it.
01:05His form's good.
01:06You really are.
01:07His back's feeling good.
01:08He's getting stronger.
01:09You look good on the cusp of your 79th birthday.
01:12I honestly cannot believe that my dad is turning 79.
01:17Like, he is in not only amazing mental shape,
01:21but really good physical shape.
01:23He has got the constitution, the discipline,
01:25and the knees of a person half his age.
01:27The man is a machine.
01:29I bet he can get up faster.
01:30You want to test who can get down and up faster?
01:33Y'all don't need to embarrass yourselves like that.
01:34Let's do it.
01:35Turning 79 feels a lot like turning 78.
01:39Unfortunately, as you get older,
01:40you don't have as much mobility and you can't spring
01:43to your feet as you'd like to, but I think I can take Whitney.
01:47Hands by your side.
01:48First person to get on two feet.
01:50Like this?
01:51Wait, he's not got his hands in the right place.
01:53Both of y'all have your hands in the same spot.
01:55Put them down by your sides.
01:57I'm sick of y'all already.
01:59Dad, did you know that when you're working out,
02:01if you say a cuss word, it increases your performance?
02:03No, it doesn't.
02:04You want to try a cuss word?
02:06Just try like .
02:08Try.
02:09No.
02:11All right, y'all ready.
02:12Three, two, one, go.
02:19That was a tie.
02:20That's embarrassing.
02:21That was a tie.
02:22Glen, I'm very impressed.
02:24A tie in this instance is a fail.
02:27The man is practically 80 and I don't even have a physical condition right now,
02:32except for being a badass that I can blame it on.
02:36We're just getting started.
02:39I just threw up in your parking lot.
02:40Is it a pregnancy throw up?
02:42Are you pregnant?
02:42If I'm pregnant, I don't think I would know yet.
02:44Yeah, let's hope that wound ritual worked.
02:48It's way too early for me to be testing positive on a pregnancy test right now,
02:51but I have to be honest, I do not feel good.
02:55So if that's any indication, I might really be pregnant.
02:59All right, Glen, we're going to finish on a sled.
03:01It's funny because the waiting to find out if you're pregnant or not has always made me extremely
03:06nervous, but this is the first time that it's also made me excited and hopeful,
03:11and then like, but still scared, but for a different thing.
03:16Come on, Glen, almost there.
03:19Perfect.
03:19Okay, rest for one minute.
03:23Dad, just try that.
03:24Mother .
03:24Quit peffing with me.
03:29Needs work.
03:29Needs work.
03:31Do you know what you want to do yet for your birthday?
03:33Do what?
03:34For your birthday.
03:36Do you know what you want to do?
03:38For years, all we ever did for our birthdays is go to the restaurant and eat dinner.
03:43So anything beyond that is going to be wonderful.
03:45Extravagant.
03:46Angie and Karen are going to be here.
03:48Oh, well, that's all he needs.
03:49He doesn't even need dinner.
03:50I know.
03:51He don't even need Angie, just Karen.
03:53Just Karen.
03:54That's all he needs.
03:55We're celebrating Dad's birthday with the fam, you know, everybody that he loves the most.
04:01So Hunter, Karen, of course, Angie is coming up from Alabama.
04:05We are taking him out on the town and we're going to have some fun.
04:08Whitney, go get on that sled.
04:10He couldn't push it.
04:11I bet he could.
04:12You couldn't push it.
04:13Yeah, I could.
04:14With me on it?
04:15With you on it?
04:15Let's do it right now.
04:17I don't believe that.
04:18We're about to test it.
04:20Absolutely not.
04:22Jessica Powell, I don't think that you can.
04:25Get on there.
04:26You cannot do it.
04:26No, I can.
04:27No, you can't.
04:30Is that how you're going to stand?
04:31Yeah.
04:32Okay.
04:32No way, Jess.
04:37Try me.
04:42Damn, quad queen over here.
04:44You crazy.
04:45You're crazy for thinking I couldn't do this.
04:48Feel the breeze in your hair?
04:59Damn, bitch.
05:02You coming with mommy?
05:14Yeah.
05:17Well, I can't decide on my rug.
05:20I thought this was it, but it's not.
05:22It's got orange in it.
05:24I'm getting rid of all the bold.
05:26Getting rid of all of what?
05:27The bold.
05:28Oh, oh.
05:29You see how we're neutralizing?
05:31Mm-hmm.
05:32And in here, all this has got to go.
05:34I woke up this morning still not feeling right.
05:39I just feel like something's off or I feel unsettled.
05:43That gold, all of it.
05:46I just feel like I am ready for everything in my life to change.
05:50I mean, I'm looking around my house and I'm like, ew, throw it all away.
05:53The pregnancy forums do say that, like, the urge to change and reorganize everything in your life is,
05:59like, called nesting syndrome. So it's really making me wonder if that's why I'm feeling like this.
06:05Well, that all looks good to me.
06:06It's going to go.
06:08Oh, is that Henshey's? Oh, I didn't know you got it back.
06:12Yeah.
06:13We're going to have a memorial service.
06:15The theme is plastics because Henshey loved his plastics.
06:18So everyone must come with an offering of plastics.
06:21Not only am I planning dad's birthday party, but I do have to host family from out of town,
06:26Karen and Angie. And then after that, I have to get the house ready for Henshey's funeral,
06:30which everyone will be attending. But at this point in time,
06:32I have two lifelong friends, Ashley and Tal, who may not even feel comfortable
06:36reuniting for the sake of it. So I am extremely confusion, stress, and overwhelmed.
06:44What is that?
06:45I don't know.
06:47It looks like...
06:47Looks like a...
06:48Some kind of thermos or something.
06:49Looks like a big water jug.
06:52Yeah.
06:53Like, who can even hold that and drink out of it?
06:56Oh, it looks like a little butane something. I think it does fire.
07:01And I love my new table. You didn't say anything about the new round dining table.
07:03I hadn't got it all set up.
07:05Hey!
07:05Hey!
07:06Hi!
07:08Yay!
07:10Hello.
07:12So you made it up for my birthday, huh?
07:14I absolutely wouldn't miss it.
07:16We can't miss your birthday.
07:17Is Karen coming up?
07:18Yeah.
07:19She's going to come up.
07:19Good.
07:20Have we found out if you're pregnant or not?
07:22Oh, oh, no. Yeah, no.
07:24It's too early to test, but fingers crossed.
07:27Did you see that tank in the, um, bedroom?
07:30That's what they send the sperm in.
07:33You popped the top of your...
07:34Like, he was looking at it.
07:36I thought it was like a big thermos, like...
07:38I've already used that sperm, so it's okay, but don't touch my sperm tank.
07:43I thought it was like...
07:44Dad, tell my brother to stop touching my sperm tank.
07:48With Whitney's journey to have a baby, I'm so excited for her.
07:53You see great Addie Glenn?
07:55I see Whitney with other kids, especially with Maddie, and she's so good with her.
08:00She'd be a great mom.
08:01Yes, she needs a baby.
08:04That's way too big for sperm.
08:05But I already...
08:06Do they not know how much sperm?
08:07I know.
08:08The sperm is only this much.
08:09I know, so why do they need something that big?
08:11I guess you don't need a lot.
08:11I know, why is it that big?
08:13I don't know.
08:13Look at Dad's brain is going.
08:15What were you thinking of, Dad?
08:17That's a little too much, uh, science for me.
08:19Dad don't know about the science.
08:20He'd just be getting people pregnant.
08:21That's right.
08:22Dad'd just be having babies.
08:23He doesn't know how it happens.
08:24Maybe if Dad knew more about this stuff, you wouldn't exist.
08:26You wouldn't be here.
08:28Well, I'm glad you don't know then.
08:31I mean, perhaps you can come in one morning and say,
08:33you know, I'm in my obligatory cycle.
08:36I promise you, she might not have told you, but women know those things.
08:40Dad, how many days does a period last?
08:46Three.
08:48Three to seven.
08:49That's funny.
08:50Let's ask Dad this.
08:51How many tampons do you think a woman uses every day when she's on her period?
08:55Well, it depends on whether you're using heavy flow tampons or light flow.
09:00Oh!
09:02If my dad had a period, it would be very efficient.
09:06It would be one to two days, light to medium flow, done.
09:12Do you have a light flow or a heavy flow?
09:14Let's talk more about my birthday.
09:16Well, why don't y'all go in the other room and let us have girl talk?
09:20He would also never take a painkiller for cramps.
09:23He would be at work every day.
09:25Like, nothing would stop Glenn Thorpe, even if he had a heavy flow.
09:28No.
09:29Do you ever just want to change your whole life?
09:31Do you ever get tired of everything?
09:33Well, yeah, but I don't just redo the whole house.
09:38I mean...
09:38What do you do?
09:39Get married?
09:40No.
09:41You really like that, don't you?
09:51Well, is there anything I can do to help with you or...?
09:56So I just inseminated and then, you know, you got to wait a few weeks.
10:00I mean, I'm about to be 41. Like, I do not have any more time.
10:05That's unfortunately...
10:06I'm not... I have to get something to drink.
10:08I can't stop coughing.
10:12I can't talk.
10:14Thank you. I mean, I'm for real. Like, this is...
10:19Is that good enough?
10:20I don't know.
10:23Oh, God.
10:24There's some... Something's going on.
10:27I feel like I need an ice pack. We got the heat on in here?
10:30I'm about to vomit.
10:32I'm serious.
10:32Woo! Uh-oh.
10:39There it is.
10:40You okay?
10:43Let me get your paper towels.
10:46She's throwing up.
10:48I'm choking near to death.
10:50Whitney's puking in a bucket.
10:54We are a complete hot mess.
10:56Let me get you another rag.
10:58She is really throwing up, like, a lot.
11:05I am so sorry.
11:06No, don't be sorry. Don't say that.
11:08That is so gross. I'm so sorry.
11:09No.
11:11She hit me out of nowhere.
11:14I'm so sorry.
11:15Well, let me get you to your room.
11:17Let's...
11:17Maybe just lay down or something.
11:20I don't know what is happening right now.
11:22Like, I don't know if this is a stress symptom, but I feel weird.
11:28I'll clean all this so I don't worry about it.
11:34If I can find a geographic location where the men are looking good, I'll just go there.
11:39I know that I'm happier when I don't live here in Greensboro.
11:43I don't want to be here anymore. I want to get pregnant.
11:45I still want to meet someone. It's all just...
11:47Up in the air.
11:48I feel like I'm more at a crossroads now than I've ever been.
12:06I don't know how we're going to do this without some white rum, but okay.
12:10I'm not used to doing mocktail.
12:13So you're drinking, like, a Mojitos?
12:16Without alcohol?
12:17Yeah.
12:18Hey.
12:21You look like you're feeling better.
12:23Just a little bit.
12:25I am not feeling well, but Karen came into town for my dad's birthday celebration.
12:29Angie's here. I mean, I have to at least put my game face on.
12:33Normally, I'd be throwing up after a night out, but today I've been doing that all before.
12:38We brought over a few things.
12:40I see that.
12:41What do we have?
12:42Well, we thought we would do a mocktail.
12:44I thought y'all were having alcohol. I didn't realize that.
12:49Oh, well, if it's okay then. Hold on.
12:51Karen, you just towed it around me in your purse?
12:55Of course it's okay.
12:55Well, I just wanted to be supportive of your journey.
12:58I don't care if y'all drink.
13:00I was surprised to hear that Whitney had already inseminated herself and that she could be pregnant
13:06now. Last time I talked to her, she was just thinking about the idea that she was going to
13:09take out a sperm donor. I didn't realize, you know, we were going full steam ahead on this,
13:13but I'm happy for her. She's 40. She doesn't have a man. She wants a man. But I think she's taking
13:19the card she's dealt and she's making her own right now. And I think that's great.
13:23Let's take the fireball lemonade.
13:26Okay.
13:26Are you girls night?
13:28Well, what's Goosey drinking?
13:29What can dogs drink?
13:33You sweet girl.
13:35See if she'll eat the watermelon.
13:37She will.
13:37Goosey, you love watermelon.
13:41Sissy gonna feed it.
13:42Yay!
13:43It's the lime.
13:45Good girl.
13:46Here, Karen.
13:48What am I doing?
13:49You should put it on.
13:50Okay.
13:50Angie, you want one?
13:51Well, okay.
13:52Our original plan was a girls night out.
13:55I can't get it out.
13:56But Whitney's in a delicate state with her issues with the puking.
14:02So I figured we'd just stay in and do mocktails.
14:05So she'd be close to, you know, the commode.
14:10Okay, but can we talk about the apps for a second?
14:13I have 1,250 likes and I'm telling you there's not a single one here that I-
14:17That you're interested in?
14:18No.
14:19Nobody?
14:20Guarantee you it's no.
14:21You swipe.
14:22See if you see a single thing you would swipe on.
14:24If you see a single thing you would swipe on.
14:26What's your age range, dude?
14:28I think it's like 28 to 50.
14:31Okay.
14:32And if you tell me I'm too picky, I will lose my .
14:34I'm not going to tell you that because people used to tell me that.
14:36And then you ended up with my brother, so there you go.
14:39As someone who used to be on the apps, it's easy to just like no, no, no, and disregard somebody.
14:45But I definitely don't think Whitney is picky.
14:47I think she just has standards.
14:49Song lyrics is your bio?
14:51No.
14:51This person she's picking, she has to spend time with and be with.
14:55And you don't want to be with somebody who gives you the ick.
14:58He's on a camel.
15:00See, I picked the camel.
15:04Uh-oh.
15:05He says his nickname that his friends have for him is Johnny Hot Dogs.
15:08I don't know.
15:08Maybe not him.
15:09Like these are grown men.
15:11How far is your location?
15:1360 miles outside of Greensboro.
15:15And what kills me is sometimes it'll tell me, you know, there's 400 plus people who like you
15:20right outside of your filters.
15:21Adjust your filters.
15:22I know it seems weird that I'm even on the apps right now considering that I'm actively also
15:26trying to get pregnant.
15:26The thing is, there's of course no guarantee that artificial insemination is going to work for me.
15:32I don't know if I could ever naturally get pregnant no matter what method I tried.
15:36And I still don't have any time to waste, even if I just want to find a man.
15:40So I'm going to pursue both things at once and hope at least one of them sticks.
15:44However, I'm just pretty sure that I'm not going to meet someone in Greensboro.
15:49If I can find a geographic location where the men are looking good, I'll just go there.
15:55I mean, why don't you really consider moving to Alabama?
15:58Like, because Glenn's fixing to turn 79.
16:01You're trying to get baby.
16:02Correct.
16:03Cousins could be around each other.
16:06Don't you want me to help you with Glenn?
16:08Well, daddy doesn't need help now.
16:09He doesn't need help now, but eventually one day he was close by.
16:13No, I wouldn't want him to be alone regardless.
16:15No, just like if something happens, like what happens if like you just,
16:17I mean, anybody can fall and hurt themselves, you know, you just don't know.
16:23I do understand that a bigger city would have more options for Whitney,
16:27because I do understand how she feels lonely and frustrated.
16:31But as far as Whitney moving away from Glenn, I don't see that happening.
16:36That's my opinion.
16:40Because I'm a caretaker, Whitney is also a caretaker.
16:43So she's not going to be away from Glenn because she wants to take care of Glenn.
16:48You got a lot on your plate.
16:49Right. I was like, this is a lot happening.
16:51A lot to think about.
16:52Oh my God.
16:55But maybe focus on his birthday party first.
16:57Yeah.
16:57And we'll go from there.
16:58I don't feel like anything is stable.
17:03Right.
17:03It's like, I don't really like, I don't want to be here anymore.
17:07I want to get pregnant.
17:08I still want to meet, meet someone.
17:09And none of it, there's not one thing that's like, it's all just.
17:13Up in the air.
17:15I really just, I don't know.
17:20The thought of moving away from Greensboro has been in the back of my mind ever since I got home from London.
17:25Then you add on me thinking about never meeting someone, never having a partner.
17:30And the chances that I could ever find that in Greensboro are close to zero.
17:34Like, I know that I'm happier when I don't live here.
17:38But if I'm pregnant, I'm going to want to especially stay here with my dad.
17:42So I kind of just am looking at myself thinking, what am I doing?
17:45So I feel like I'm more at a crossroads now than I've ever been.
17:52What?
17:53What is that?
17:54I did a lot.
17:55You're not.
17:56I thought.
17:57What?
17:58I know that Buddy did not bring a new cat to Henchy's funeral.
18:12You got it?
18:15I got it.
18:16Oh, you got it.
18:17Whoa.
18:18Oh, God.
18:19Did you just drop?
18:21That does say 79, doesn't it?
18:22Okay.
18:23It does.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Well, howdy.
18:26Hi, Daddy.
18:27Hey, hi.
18:28Well, it looks like there's a party going to happen.
18:31Oh, you look gorgeous.
18:33Mwah.
18:34We're doing my father's birthday at George's Garage, and I think this is the perfect spot
18:46we could have gone to.
18:48It's got pool, basketball, and all these games.
18:51And my dad loves sports, so this is perfect for him.
18:5497.
18:55You want to go play pool?
18:59Yeah.
18:59Just being here for my dad's 79th birthday is the best gift I can give him.
19:04He loves celebrating with family, and the fact that I brought Karen,
19:07which is his favorite person in the world, is like the cherry on top.
19:12Are you going?
19:13I can not can't hit anything.
19:15Okay.
19:15Yeah, you can.
19:16Oh, I can't reach that.
19:17Oh, how do you do it?
19:18Can you get on the table?
19:19If you have one foot, one foot on the ground.
19:22And then you can lift your leg up.
19:25Okay.
19:26I mean, she's doing it.
19:31Okay, I've got my toe.
19:32I've got my toe now.
19:33She's got her toe now.
19:34She's good.
19:35Regulation.
19:36Just give it a good heat.
19:39Yes!
19:40You got it!
19:43There you go.
19:45There you go.
19:47I'm shocked.
19:52Whitney is playing better than my dad and me right now.
19:58Where has she been hiding this game?
20:01Ow!
20:01Ow!
20:02Whitney!
20:03Where'd I go?
20:04Trust Whitney to be like, I don't know what I'm doing.
20:06I don't know how to play.
20:07And then run the table.
20:08What is going on?
20:10Well, I'm impressed.
20:11I'm a pool shark.
20:11I think she's been home practicing.
20:15Come on, Dad.
20:15Oh, my God.
20:17Ah!
20:17Ah!
20:18Ah!
20:18Dad!
20:20Bring it home, baby.
20:21Happy birthday!
20:25What I wanted for my birthday was to be able to meet my kids.
20:29Unfortunately, that didn't happen.
20:38Good job!
20:39That was cute.
20:40The biggest gift to me, in my opinion, is having my family around me,
20:44having Hunter, and Whitney, Angie, and Karen, my hopefully-to-be daughter-in-law,
20:49all that makes me very, very happy.
20:52I love you.
20:52I love you, too.
20:54So, you know how, like, your dad's your hero and stuff?
20:57And so you have all these, like, mythical stories about him.
20:59You know what memory just came to my mind?
21:00What?
21:01I was in, like, uh, ninth grade.
21:03Katie Lester's mom was dropping me back off.
21:06There was dad naked.
21:09No way.
21:09Yes, he was.
21:10Outside?
21:11Trying to put his underwear on.
21:12The driveway.
21:13That was one of my mom's favorite stories.
21:15But how do you-
21:16Well, he's on his property.
21:17He was changing his clothes for some reason.
21:19I don't know that we ever did find out.
21:20Did we ever find out why?
21:23He's like, but now it's not the time.
21:24I think I was all muddy or something like that.
21:27Or the time on my birthday that when he fell through the window.
21:30When he had to clean the gutters before the birthday party,
21:32and then he fell through the window and cut his arm it out.
21:35Oh, wow.
21:36Uh-huh.
21:36Oh, yeah, he was in a cash for like a year.
21:38Yeah.
21:38Climbed up on a ladder.
21:40I was washing the eaves, and all of a sudden,
21:42the ladder started slipping.
21:44And when it did, I fell through the window.
21:47And Whitney says,
21:48Mom, Dad broke his hand.
21:51And there's blood everywhere.
21:53Got a pin in one finger.
21:55They connected the tendons back to the bones.
21:58And there's going to be three months of rehabilitation for my fingers.
22:02It was certainly worse than a broken arm.
22:04Yeah.
22:06You do know about a sack, don't you?
22:09Dad's sack.
22:09Ow.
22:10Wow.
22:17There are some visuals I don't necessarily need.
22:20And that's the idea of Glenn's, my future father-in-law's sack in my brain.
22:26And I'm not really sure I want to be hearing this.
22:30Dad was on a double date.
22:31He went to drop the girls off.
22:33This guy behind him was giving him trouble.
22:34And Dad always said, if you're looking for a problem,
22:36when you find me, you're going to find one.
22:38So Dad got out of the car, beat the one guy up,
22:41and threw him down a hill.
22:42And then he was in the process of beating the other guy up.
22:44When the first guy didn't come back up the hill,
22:45came up behind Dad like this with a knife, punctured him in the heart sack,
22:50just centimeters away from that sack.
22:54Wow.
22:54Knifing him right in the heart.
22:55He was in intensive care.
22:57I was very confused what we're talking about.
22:58One thing about Glenn Thor that most people don't know is how savage he was back in the day.
23:02He's an ex-Marine who loved to get into fights just for the fun of it.
23:08Everybody knows him now as this cute old man.
23:11He was gangster back in the day.
23:13Dad's infamous sack.
23:15I'm pretty sure that would be painful.
23:17I actually didn't feel much of anything.
23:19That makes it way less metal, Dad.
23:22Whitney likes to over exaggerate and tell everybody that I got stabbed in my sack.
23:27And they had to put a bunch of, I don't know what they did.
23:30They fixed it.
23:30Well, actually, it kind of healed on its own.
23:32No.
23:33I really got stabbed in my pericardium, which I should have said to begin with,
23:38and not the sack around your heart.
23:40So it wouldn't have become such a folklore
23:47as time has gone on.
23:48Did that girl you were on a date with come see you in the hospital?
23:51At least she could have done.
23:52Right.
23:53She ghosted you after that?
23:54My best friend who was with me took off running.
23:57Yeah.
23:58He got out of there real quick.
23:59He got out of Dodge.
24:00Did they go to prison?
24:02No.
24:02We went to court and they got a plea deal and paid all my doctor's bills and that kind of stuff.
24:08Oh.
24:09In hindsight, he didn't pay nearly enough for almost killing me.
24:14Right.
24:15Pain and suffering.
24:16Right.
24:16Of Dad's sack.
24:17What a story.
24:19Have you got that story out of your system?
24:21No.
24:23For my brother and me, my dad is like 100% hero.
24:29Cheers, guys.
24:30Cheers.
24:30Cheers.
24:31Happy birthday.
24:31Happy birthday.
24:32Happy daddy.
24:33Love you.
24:34Like, there is not another man as dedicated to his family with as much integrity, understanding.
24:40It brings tears to my eyes.
24:43How's your water?
24:44Really good.
24:44Amazing.
24:46And in one way, I feel so fortunate that I have him as my father.
24:50Then on the other hand, I'm like, this totally wrecked me because I will never,
24:55ever find a man that even halfway lives up to him.
25:00On your birthday of 79 years, we salute.
25:02Yeah, with the sack.
25:03With the sack.
25:07Please enter solemnly.
25:08We are here to remember Henshi.
25:11I was told to dress in black formal attire for a memorial service for a cat.
25:16Gum.
25:17Gum.
25:17There's no gum at funerals.
25:19Give it to me.
25:19Spit it out.
25:32Well, you look just right enough.
25:38Just beautiful enough for Henshi's fune.
25:40Well, you know, he always loved blue.
25:42Where is everybody?
25:43I know they're not going to show up late to a GD funeral.
25:45Oh, sucking in too.
25:47Oh, I'm the worst at this.
25:49Todd, you might have to do this.
25:51I am, I don't know why, but I like, do I literally have like too small of a hand or
25:55like I, it, see, I can never do it.
25:57Huh?
25:58Wait a minute.
25:59You hold this one down first?
26:02You can.
26:02Oh, I did it.
26:03Now that we have celebrated dad's 79th birthday and Angie and Karen have gone back home,
26:08it's time for me to pivot and focus on honoring the passing of my beloved big fat Henshi made.
26:16I got his favorite flowers.
26:17Which is all, all flowers?
26:18Mm-hmm.
26:19You're going to eat them?
26:19Mm-hmm.
26:21Dad, be careful.
26:21Wanda's in there.
26:24Before you enter, come.
26:32So what is this doing?
26:33It's cleansing.
26:34Cleansing me, huh?
26:35I think it's important at the beginning of this funeral service
26:39that everybody will be cleansed, pure, and focused.
26:44Oh my goodness.
26:46Please enter quietly, solemnly.
26:49Please stop.
26:50Do not cross the boundary until...
26:53It's not a visible boundary.
26:54You have been cleansed.
26:56What the hell have I just walked into?
26:58I was told to dress in black formal attire for a memorial service for a cat.
27:04You need to get cleansed off.
27:05Meow.
27:06Go ahead and close your eyes.
27:10Jessica?
27:10He's meowing.
27:11Please hold a solemn picture of Henshi in your mind.
27:18Gum.
27:19There's no gum at funerals.
27:20Give it to me.
27:21Spit it out.
27:21Who else is chewing?
27:30Everybody.
27:30We all are.
27:31I know.
27:31We all.
27:32Let's spit mine out.
27:35It means so much to me that everyone is here.
27:38Buddy, Todd, Tal.
27:40I mean, at some point over the last 17 years, Henshi was everyone's roommate.
27:45Unfortunately, Ashley is sick and she couldn't make it.
27:49But I'll be honest, maybe that was for the best because Tal is here as well.
27:53Anything for the little man.
27:54And I don't want to make anything awkward or uncomfortable for him.
27:58This funeral will be filled with love and light and cat fur.
28:03I haven't seen you in a year.
28:05How are you?
28:05A year.
28:07My cat's gonna die for you to come back around.
28:09Where do you hold the spirit of Henshi?
28:11In every fiber of my being.
28:12That's the right answer.
28:14I had to be here to pay my respects to the little guy.
28:17Henshi was Whitney's everything.
28:20And knowing Whitney, I never had any doubt she'd go all out on a memorial for Henshi once he passed.
28:26I've never had a funeral for a pet myself.
28:28But yeah, this is the first.
28:37We are here to remember Henshi.
28:41And if you would turn your cell phones.
28:43If you would please turn your cell phones off.
28:46Yeah.
28:48Todd, if you would please start this with Tal.
28:52You may hold it for as long as you need.
28:55As you hold Henshi's snout for one last time, I want you to close your eyes.
29:01And if you just believe you will smell his breath coming through and into your nostrils.
29:08Todd, please pass.
29:11I still to this day, I'll never understand that Whitney loved cat breath.
29:15I caught Whitney smelling breath all the time.
29:18Oh, the breath.
29:21I never used to it.
29:22It is inappropriate and it always looked inappropriate.
29:26You know what I mean?
29:28I feel like I'm one of the only sane people here.
29:33This is from my personal collection.
29:36You may take a small piece of fur and pass, but this is not for keeps.
29:40This is only for vibes.
29:42A small piece and pass.
29:43It's really hound.
29:44It is.
29:51Now, Henshi loved a lot of things in this world and plastics were at the top.
29:55It did not matter if you were from a delivery service, if you were from a bag.
30:04Henshi.
30:04If you were picked up off the side of the road, Henshi would love you if you were plastic.
30:16If he had discriminated, he would have missed out on all those plastics.
30:19Now, one by one, come to the offering plate and deposit your own unique piece of plastic
30:26for Henshi to play with in the ether forevermore.
30:31Dad, we'll start with you.
30:33We have bubble wrap.
30:36Well, Henshi came into our life when Whitney returned from South Korea.
30:44And as Whitney stayed at our home for a number of months...
30:49Dad, you don't have to include that part.
30:51This is about Henshi.
30:52Well, Henshi was at our house and became maybe the most favorite cat we'd ever had,
30:59especially with Babs.
31:01Henshi liked to lay on the pillow behind Babs's head and she loved that cat so dearly.
31:10Henshi was orange and he always looked mad even when he was happy.
31:14Here is a deli container for the afterlife.
31:19That's his ultimate favorite.
31:23See? Yeah, man.
31:24It's a peanut jar wrapper.
31:28It was a good cat.
31:30I brought Henshi some dry cleaning plastics.
31:33He is the cat that taught me to love cats.
31:37This is some shipping plastic.
31:39He loved that.
31:40Freshly delivered.
31:44Flower plastic.
31:45Flower plastic.
31:46He loved it more than the flowers.
31:49Henshi will see you again someday, buddy.
31:52I have here plastic from the grapes.
31:56He would just sit there and lick and lick and lick with the whole thing in his mouth.
32:00Yeah.
32:04Tal and Todd will please join me behind the altar.
32:08We will now have a short musical performance.
32:12Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
32:23We're meowing Amazing Grace.
32:26Is this blasphemous?
32:28I mean, what are we really doing here?
32:31Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
32:38and she was my big fat boy yeah he was my baby the beast from the east where did you get him
32:46at south korea hey from overseas i had him throughout almost my entire 20s and all of my
32:5230s and into my 40s are you mommy's big boy the megatorty with the micro snout and there will
32:57never be another mommy loves you he was my child do you still love mommy no i love granny and now
33:06that i don't have him i just feel like part of me is gone oh my god and that's the thing once you
33:13go persian there'll never be another version
33:16thank you for coming to the service and on that note it will conclude
33:33actually i have something in the car i'll be right back
33:35whitney and henchy and i go way back and uh it felt like we were a crew for years so i felt like i
33:45really needed to make a grand gesture i hope whitney likes this thing and doesn't freak her out or
33:51anything pass his ashes oh what what is that is it alive you're not i thought what's going on here
34:03what oh my god i know that buddy did not bring a new cat to henchy's funeral what
34:13wait a minute you're not serious
34:34get him out
34:36what
34:43it's uh oh oh my god
34:50came out a little burnt but
34:53looks just like him
34:58what is this did you steal someone's dead cat that's not what i was thinking it was gonna be
35:08that cat looked like it died from shock
35:10that thing looks wrong to me we need to check it may be somebody's cat
35:16it doesn't feel stuffed it feels taxidermied
35:19i guess it's the thought that matters
35:21i'm just not sure that this isn't him i'm pretty sure it's no to me it's immediately obvious it's
35:29not henchy but it does look like a real cat so my question is where did buddy get this cat from
35:36is it a real cat
35:38i remember you saying that you wanted him taxidermied so it's got his name on the butt too
35:45it says henchy
35:47for a minute i thought that buddy had literally like contacted the vet and was like don't cremate
35:59because i look at his face i don't think that that's how it looks like once you're dead you're
36:03not going to look the same so i could i could literally believe that that is truly henchy but
36:09except he doesn't have glass eyes but still i'm looking like regular eyes actually they're the wrong
36:13color they're green henchy's eyes were pickled juicy yellow
36:15this is the best thing that's ever happened to me
36:19buddy you outdid yourself yeah go buddy
36:22buddy really knows whitney because none of us would have thought to do that
36:27thanks buddy
36:30whitney always said when henchy eventually went that she was going to have him taxidermied
36:37but obviously i couldn't do that without her knowing so
36:40there's a company on the internet that makes stuffed exact replicas of your pet just using a photo
36:46the internet has everything
36:48here take him to his dad
36:52no no for his daddy
36:53oh
36:54his daddy
36:55well this was lovely
36:57this was absolutely lovely
37:00wouldn't it just
37:01he would have hated it
37:02he would have loved it
37:04you think i'm sure he expected all this
37:09i am so grateful for everyone being in attendance tonight for henchy's fune
37:13honestly it gave me some closure it was a beautiful send off the plastics the gifts i couldn't be happier
37:21and it's unfortunate you know when dead cats are the only thing that get you all together again but it was still a perk of the evening
37:28have you taken a pregnancy test
37:30not yet
37:31i don't know i don't think it's been enough days yet
37:35do you want
37:37i don't think it's been enough days yet
37:38you don't want to be in on this one
37:41we're talking about getting pregnant
37:44oh okay
37:45both of you
37:47we did a ceremony
37:48did you not know that
37:49to clean to do womb cleaning
37:51in preparation
37:52not womb cleaning but womb cleaning
37:54it ended in
37:55insemination
37:57of the artificial type
38:00i bought it off the internet
38:02somebody's specific genetic material
38:05isaiah picked it
38:06he's about six seven six eight
38:09at the sportsplex
38:09we got us a d1 athlete
38:11whitney told me she was going to try insemination
38:14but i didn't know she had actually gone through with it
38:17she's gonna have the biggest baby available
38:19well like mother like son
38:21holy moly i guess you blink around here and you miss a lot
38:25i knew whitney wanted kids but i didn't know she was doing all that
38:28whitney will be retired soon
38:30we should find out in a day or two if the ceremony works
38:32i've already got scholarship offers in the mail
38:34now where is todd i was gonna say it's been so long since we've all been together
38:39but todd done left
38:40well i will hit this threshold
38:43poor ashley's got covid
38:44oh yeah she couldn't come
38:47dang
38:48but
38:49i wasn't sure that you were gonna show me the funeral
38:52well i never would have missed this no matter what
38:55ashley and i have not seen each other since we had our big falling out
38:59and you know i'm ready to move on
39:01it's water under the bridge for me at this point
39:03so i hope that i do see her sometime soon
39:06last time we all saw each other was probably mom's funeral
39:08no i think it was the christmas party
39:11oh that's right it was a year ago
39:12you know we definitely don't need to reserve getting together for funerals and christmas parties
39:17i said it sounds almost like how often people go to church that kind of thing
39:20oh that's right yeah
39:22good lord
39:24it's really crazy to think
39:27that the last time we were all together was a year ago
39:31i mean i get it like you know our lives are different
39:34some of us have children some of us have marriages
39:36we all have different priorities some of us can't be in the same room with each other right now
39:41but it's so different than the past like 25 years have been
39:46so it's weird
39:47i'm always down to try and get you out of the house
39:49well and i don't and i'm well i don't leave the house
39:52you were so active when you were in london
39:54that's true
39:54i met some people in london but
39:56i feel like when you're 40 and you're in your hometown like
39:59how about make new friends
40:01she's already met all the people here
40:02i have greensboro's been ran through
40:05yeah i think it's i think i gotta get i think i gotta get out
40:08if i'm actually pregnant
40:11there would be no argument i would stay here in greensboro
40:15but if i'm not
40:16the world is wide open
40:18i don't think i need to be here
40:21because i don't have a husband here
40:23i don't have children here
40:25i don't have a job that ties me here
40:27honestly the only thing in greensboro that i can't imagine living without is my dad
40:32that's it
40:33so if i can't get pregnant
40:36i'm leaving
40:38next time on my big fat fabulous life
40:53you said unhinged
40:54off man
40:55what
40:56tal came with me personally
40:58so i went at him
41:00isaiah has a friend
41:03would you be interested in going on a double date
41:05is he cute
41:05i don't know i've never met him
41:07going out with someone that you have literally never seen
41:09sounds like the most horrible thing i can possibly think of
41:12is he walking in
41:13yeah
41:14oh he's here
41:15do i okay i'll tell you so do i stand up
41:16john what's up my friend
41:18i brought some pregnancy tests
41:21this is like a crazy moment
41:23i'm so excited
41:24three
41:25two
41:27one
Recommended
1:59:52
|
Up next
41:31
42:31
42:31
43:05
41:31
41:31
42:38
42:31
42:31
42:31
42:31
42:31
42:31
1:24:25
3:52:29
36:50
23:17
46:21
47:33
46:55
57:20
41:13
39:34
Be the first to comment