- 5 months ago
The Jack Benny Program, starring Jack Benny, is a radio and television comedy series. The show ran for over three decades, from 1932 to 1955 on radio, and from 1950 to 1965 on television. It won numerous awards, including the 1959 and 1961 Emmy Awards for Best Comedy Series, and is generally regarded as a high-water mark in 20th-century American comedy.
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00:0065th Street on Broadway. Let them off. Let them off, please. Don't block the aisle. Let them off.
00:13Watch it when you're talking about it.
00:28Hey, did you see me just got off the boat?
00:30Yeah. He's certainly a cheap guy. I asked him for his autograph and he charged me eight cents.
00:43So we're the sportsmen from the radio. We've muttered, we've stuttered, and we've gone berserk to make those lucky strike commercials go.
00:54What we do to us all is really sad. What other business pays you to be bad?
01:03There's no business, like show business, like no business we know.
01:10Rochester, Don Wilson, and Jack Benny. Dinosaur is all the stars you'll meet.
01:17As for money, we get hardly any. We work for Benny, we've got a key.
01:24There's no trouble like our trouble when we try to collect.
01:31We'd be better off if we were home in bed. But no, not us, the television instead.
01:38Here comes Benny, now don't read the words we said. Let's go on with the show.
01:45I'd give a million dollars to know how I look.
02:14Well, it's too late now. But ladies and gentlemen, I must tell you, before we start the show, how I happened to get in television at this time.
02:35You see, all last year, it got to be a little bit embarrassing because, you know, a lot of my fans would write to me and my friends would ask me.
02:42They want to know why I wasn't in television. They want to know if I was afraid of it.
02:47You know, if I was nervous about it, I mean, it was ridiculous, really. I wasn't nervous or afraid.
02:54It was my sponsor who didn't have the nerve.
02:59But of course, now that we're in it, he's really going to plunge this time. I'm going to be on television once every eight weeks.
03:12Every eight week, I'm going to do a television show. So don't expect to see my program advertised on your television page in the newspaper.
03:22You'll probably find it on your calendar under full moon.
03:33But I love it. You know, I love it. I just got in it. I don't know.
03:37But the thing that I like about this medium, it's going to bring me into New York at least four times a year.
03:45And that's the one thing I'm not saying.
03:54I'm not saying this because you're sitting here, you know, but I love New York.
03:58I don't know. You've got to get away from California once in a while.
04:02You see, I love it there, too. But here, there's so much excitement in New York. I don't know.
04:06Guys, I've only been here 10 days, you know, and 30 bucks went like that.
04:16Next time I'm coming alone.
04:22Of course, I know what you're laughing at. You know, you probably listen to my radio program and you think that I'm stingy and miserly.
04:29Of course, that is a character, ladies and gentlemen, that I assume...
04:37No, really, purely for your entertainment because I'm not stingy or anything like that.
04:43Although I must say that while in New York, I do have to be a little bit careful about expenses.
04:48You see, as a matter of fact, right now I'm sort of roughing it here.
04:52I'm living in a modest place. I have a room overlooking the beautiful Sherry Netherlands Hotel.
04:58I thought it was better than paying the Sherry Netherlands prices and overlook the dump that I'm living in.
05:07But I must stay out here too long. I have to sort of be the MC for this. I really don't need these glasses. I just use them for seeing.
05:24Holy smokes, there's an audience here.
05:31But I, um...
05:34Well, you know, most comedians, I know that I meant to say this before, are always nervous.
05:37I've watched their first shows, you know, and most of them are nervous.
05:40But I'm not at all. I feel this way. This way I am.
05:44I mean, if... I mean, this is my character. You see what I mean?
05:48If I'm a success tonight, all right. You know? If not, I'll kill myself.
05:59But the reason that I, um...
06:02Mary, how do I look? Now, the reason...
06:06The reason I have this card here is because during rehearsal, you see, we've changed the show around so many times that I keep forgetting what comes on next, see?
06:15So, ladies and gentlemen, I do want to introduce, next, the, uh, fellow...
06:20Hey, Joe!
06:21Who has been with me for about...
06:23Joe!
06:24Pardon me a moment.
06:25Joe, move light number five a little to the left.
06:30He's getting too much shadow on his face.
06:33And another thing, don't shoot from that side camera.
06:36You can't take a profile.
06:38It makes him look lousy.
06:40Look, look.
06:41Oh, pardon me.
06:42Everything else is okay.
06:43Look, mister.
06:44Hiya, Sophie!
06:45Hey, when are you coming to New York?
06:46Look, what are you doing here?
06:47I'm saying hello to my aunt in California.
06:48Look, this is a live show.
06:49You see, we only go as far as St. Louis or Kansas City.
06:51Doesn't go...
06:52This probably won't reach California for about two weeks.
06:55Well, I was talking to a critic during rehearsal, and he said if the wind is right, they may get it tonight.
07:13You know, if he trimmed his mustache a little, he'd look like Mary's sister, babe.
07:39But anyway, ladies and gentlemen, I started to present, and I know you'll be very, very happy to meet my radio announcer.
07:47Now, I've been in radio 19 years, and he's been with me 17 of those 19 years, Don Wilson.
07:54Don, I was just telling all the folks out there that you have been with me 17 of my 19 years in radio.
08:13Well, thanks, Jack, and I must say those 17 years have been very happy ones.
08:18Well, thank you, Don.
08:19Not fruitful, but happy.
08:23Yes, yes.
08:24Now, Jack, I'd like to add that I hope I'll be with you for 17 years in television.
08:28Well, Don, we can't be sure of that.
08:30I hope so, too.
08:31Well, 17 years, so let's at least make the most of this hour.
08:35Now, of course, I'm not nervous, Don, as I was telling him before about television because of my experiences in the movie.
08:42You see, as a matter of fact, right now I have a 10-year contract with Warner Brothers, and there's a clause in it that permits me to do television shows.
08:52Oh, really?
08:53Yes.
08:54That was good, the way you said that.
08:55Two words and what he made out of it.
09:06Oh, yes, Don, this is right under, this is right under the clause that prevents me from making pictures.
09:14See, I didn't realize when the horn blew at midnight that it was blowing taps.
09:23But, lookit, Don, would you, uh, would you like to...
09:27Well, Jack, getting back to television for just a moment.
09:30I'm glad you got me out of that spot.
09:32I think, uh, I think we're going to find the things we did in radio won't always fit here.
09:37What do you mean, Don?
09:38Well, now, for instance, uh, on radio, you always talked about how fat I am.
09:43Hmm?
09:44And you got laughs talking about how many chins I have.
09:46Uh-huh.
09:47Now everybody can see I only have one.
09:49Yeah.
09:50Well, I, uh, I thought the makeup man did a marvelous job cementing them together.
09:57But, lookit, Don, would you like to introduce the members of the show, the cast?
10:03Oh, yes, indeed, I would, Jack, but right now it's time for a commercial.
10:06Already?
10:07Mm-hmm.
10:08Well, then I'll leave you alone.
10:09Oh, no, no, no, Jack.
10:10Stay right here.
10:11I want you to help me with this.
10:12With the commercial?
10:13Yes.
10:14Do you, uh, have a package of Lucky Strike with you?
10:15Well, I generally have.
10:17I...
10:18That's all right.
10:19I should have a package.
10:20Here's some...
10:21Oh, thank you.
10:28Well, um...
10:30They're always ready.
10:32Always.
10:33Uh, Don, what, what, what do you, what should I do now?
10:35What do I do with this?
10:36Well, Jack, I'll explain it to you.
10:37Just a minute.
10:38Yeah.
10:39Oh, I'll just hold it.
10:40Oh, I see.
10:41Oh, well, go ahead.
10:42Okay.
10:43Right.
10:44Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy your cigarette.
10:48Enjoy truly fine tobacco that combines both real mildness and rich taste in one grand cigarette, Lucky Strike.
10:56Only fine tobacco gives you both real mildness and rich taste.
11:01So, friends, be happy.
11:02Go Lucky.
11:03L-S-M-F-T.
11:05L-S-M-F-T.
11:06That's right, ladies and gentlemen.
11:07For real deep down smoking enjoyment that comes from truly fine tobacco, it's Lucky Strike.
11:13Lucky Strike.
11:14Yes, go ahead, Jack.
11:15Change is perfectly all right.
11:16Okay.
11:17Now, scientific test proved Lucky Strike is milder than any other principal brand.
11:21And why?
11:22L-S-M-F-T.
11:23L-S-M-F-T.
11:24Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.
11:30Well, John, that was just one.
11:32That's the good one, Jack.
11:33You can even have one.
11:35Thank you very much.
11:38That was really great.
11:39And now that you got your little message over, now would you like to introduce some of the
11:43other stars?
11:44Dina, Dina Shore.
11:45Would you like to introduce Dina Shore?
11:46Indeed I would, Jack.
11:47But I thought you told me you were going to have Olsen and Johnson as guests.
11:51Well, we were going to have Olsen and Johnson, but they had some silly comedy idea of blowing up the theater.
11:58I was afraid of it, you see.
12:01So, we're having Dina Shore instead.
12:04Well, it just happened a couple of days ago then, didn't it?
12:06Oh, no.
12:07No, no, Don.
12:08You see, this was about, oh, about three weeks ago.
12:11You see, I was home in Beverly Hills, you know.
12:13And I realized that time was getting short and I ought to do something about getting a television show together.
12:20Sorry!
12:26No!
12:30No!
12:31It's about 2,000.
12:36Hello, Polly.
13:01When Whippoorwill's gone, can't hear them at all.
13:08I'm busy in my blue heaven.
13:14The morning to night, as long as it's light,
13:20I'm working in my blue heaven.
13:26You see my face, I find a place, a cozy room.
13:32Oh, diamond is always playing love in blue.
13:37Mr. Benny and me, and Polly, we're happy in my blue heaven.
13:49Oh, wow, that's not a dream of me.
13:55I'm busy, and I'm busy, and I'm busy.
14:01This is a beautiful day, and it's a beautiful day to try and be kind.
14:06The End
15:06Work, work, work. That's all I do around here seven days a week.
15:18Mr. Buzzi and me and Bobby McSpray.
15:22Ah, shut up.
15:25You can't see or hear anything without repeating it.
15:28Always got your beak in somebody else's business.
15:36Mr. Benny's residence, star, stage, screen, radio, and television during the full moon.
15:51Hello? Hello?
15:53Hello, Rochester. This is Susie.
15:57Oh, hello, Susie.
15:59Rochester, can I talk?
16:01Yeah, Mr. Benny's down at CBS telling the executives what he's going to do on his first television show.
16:06Oh.
16:08Susie, you're not calling off our date for tonight, are you?
16:10Oh, no. I just wanted to know if you can get Mr. Benny's car for tonight.
16:14Well, Susie, I wouldn't use the car tonight. You see, Mr. Benny drove it down to CBS this afternoon.
16:19What's that got to do with it?
16:21Well, we have a rule in this house. If we take the car any place and it brings us back the same day, we don't press our luck any further.
16:29Oh, well, all right, then. I'll meet you at 8 o'clock anyway.
16:33Okay, oh, Jose, Susie.
16:35Yes?
16:36Be sure to wear that same blue satin dress you wore the first night I met you.
16:40But, Rochester, that dress is so tight.
16:45Yeah.
16:45Well, I better hurry and get my work done. The boss ought to be here pretty soon.
17:11All right.
17:15George Washington, Judge Bimmy, and Abraham Lincoln.
17:44Two presidents and the honorary male cougamonga.
17:53Uh-oh, he took a car down.
18:04Oh, I threw him in the pool again.
18:06Mr. Benny.
18:07Mr. Benny, are you all right?
18:09Hey, boss.
18:10Boss, are you all right?
18:12Rochester, what are you yelling about?
18:13Boss, what?
18:15Oh, you're all right.
18:17Yeah.
18:17Oh, how are things going?
18:18See, yesterday's.
18:19Oh, fine, Rochester, wonderful.
18:21Oh, good.
18:21Everybody was trying to be so helpful.
18:23Oh, that's good.
18:23And I appreciate it, too.
18:25You see, this medium is entirely different.
18:28I mean, that's the way they explained it to me.
18:30You see, in television, you're not supposed to be conscious of a studio audience.
18:34You know, you're supposed to look like you're not entertaining anybody.
18:39Boss, I saw your last rehearsal.
18:41You've got nothing to worry about.
18:44Thank you, Rochester.
18:45But one show under my belt and everything will be all right.
18:49I'll have a lot to do right now.
18:50Oh, hello, Polly.
18:55Daddy didn't mean to neglect you.
18:57How do things go today?
18:58Count the fruit.
18:59Count the fruit.
19:03What?
19:04Count the fruit.
19:07Rochester.
19:10Rochester, did you eat a banana?
19:13A banana?
19:15Rochester, answer me.
19:16Did you eat a banana?
19:18Uh, yes, boss, and I might as well tell you I ate an apple, too.
19:25An apple when?
19:26Last July.
19:29Last July.
19:30Well, why tell me about it now?
19:31What's the difference you'll find out about it in January when you take inventory?
19:36Rochester, I don't mind you taking fruit.
19:38I just want you to mark it down in a book so I'll know where I stand.
19:43Ah, Polly, you're going to be proud of Daddy pretty soon.
19:51Daddy's going to go on television, you know.
19:58Oh, isn't that cute?
19:59She laid an egg.
20:03Gee, I hope I ain't catching.
20:09Say, boss, would you like to have me fix you something to eat?
20:12No, just a sandwich is all Rochester.
20:14I'm not very, very hungry.
20:16I'll get the door.
20:16Come in!
20:19Well, hello, Mr. Kitsa.
20:22Good morning.
20:24Well, come in.
20:25Come in.
20:26You better not.
20:28Say, this is really a surprise.
20:31I mean, what are you doing in this neighborhood?
20:32Well, I heard you're going to New York on television,
20:35so I just came by to wish you a very happy video.
20:38Oh, well, thank you very, very much.
20:40Sit down.
20:41Thank you very much.
20:45Oh, my, oh, my.
20:46How I envy you going to New York.
20:49What a city.
20:50What a city.
20:53You come from there, don't you, Mr. Kitsa?
20:55Not exactly.
20:57You see, I was born in a suburb of New York.
21:00A suburb of New York?
21:01Which one?
21:02Ellis Island.
21:05Well, look, you couldn't have been born in Ellis Island.
21:07I thought that's where your immigrants just passed through.
21:10Oh, in those days, they held you up a long time.
21:13Oh.
21:13Oh, my God.
21:16Well, look what we got.
21:17That's all right, Polly.
21:22It's the first time I ever saw a burglar alarm with feathers.
21:27She didn't mean anything.
21:28Really?
21:28Help yourself.
21:29No, thank you.
21:30I don't want to make the Polly nervous.
21:32Well, you really like New York, eh, Mr. Kitsa?
21:34Oh, who, who.
21:37But I wouldn't give to be back in New York
21:39to walk once again down Broadway
21:42to see those theaters and those crowds
21:45and that big electric sign
21:47in front of the Times building.
21:48Oh, you mean the sign that has all the news on it,
21:51you know, that don't die in life.
21:53Yeah, that's the one.
21:54What an invention.
21:56What other corner of the world
21:57could you get hit by a car
21:59and read about it
22:00while you're laying there
22:01waiting for the ambulance?
22:06That's right.
22:06It's the only place it could happen, right?
22:09What are you looking for, Mr. Kitsa?
22:10A cigarette.
22:11Oh.
22:12Oh, here.
22:13Oh, is that empty again?
22:18Just recently empty.
22:20Yes, yes.
22:22Mr. Benny, you got a cigarette?
22:24A cigarette?
22:25Why, certainly, Mr. Kitsa.
22:27Of course, right over here.
22:30Right here.
22:31Right here.
22:41You know from the machine?
22:48Yes.
22:49Right over here.
22:50Maybe in Beverly Hills, it's fashionable.
22:52Well, Mr. Benny, I guess I got to be running along now,
23:02but before I go, I want to wish you again good luck on television.
23:07Well, thank you.
23:07Thank you very, very much, Mr. Kitsa.
23:09It was awfully nice of you to drop in.
23:11Nice to be here.
23:12Well, goodbye.
23:13Goodbye.
23:13Come again.
23:14See me again.
23:20He's such a nice guy, that picture, isn't he?
23:22Mr. Benny, is your sandwich?
23:23All right, leave it right over there, Rochester.
23:25I got to figure out what I'm going to do on my show.
23:28On the first show.
23:29I haven't got it figured out yet.
23:30Now, first, I know, first, I've got to have an overture.
23:35Oh, Miss Higgins, uh, use the bendix on the end.
23:39The others are reserved.
23:46On my first show, I'm going to have to have, um, well, I'll have the overture,
23:53and then I'll, um, Rochester, you've been putting a little too much bluing in my
23:58urine lately, and then I'll have the quartet, and I'll have them sing something
24:05about show business, maybe the quartet, a number about show business, and then,
24:11see, my teeth are beautiful.
24:15Oh, I knew I forgot something.
24:18Hey, Rockets, Mr. Payne, he wanted me to get a guest star, and I promised him
24:22that I'd try and get Dinah Shore.
24:24Let's see.
24:24I know I got her number here somewhere.
24:26See, Dinah Shore.
24:28Crestview, 7-1-1-1-6.
24:31Rrrr!
24:32Quiet, Holly.
24:33See, Dinah Shore.
24:35Crestview, 7-1-1-1-6.
24:37Rrrr!
24:37All right, quiet.
24:39See, oh, here it is, Dinah Shore.
24:41Crestview, 7-1-1-1-5.
24:44There.
24:52It's Crestview.
24:54Crestview.
24:54Crestview.
24:567-1-1-1-5.
25:04What number did you dial, please?
25:07Oh, Crestview 7-1-1-1-5.
25:09That number has been changed to Crestview 7-1-1-1-6.
25:14Okay, ring that number, will you, Operator?
25:25Hello?
25:39Hello, I'd like to speak to Dinah Shore, please.
25:41This is Miss Shore speaking.
25:43Oh, oh, hello, Dinah.
25:44Hello, who's this?
25:46Guest.
25:48Well, I haven't the faintest idea.
25:50Well, try.
25:51Well, look, I don't know who you are, and I'm all...
25:53Now, look, look, I'll give you a hint.
25:54Uh-huh.
25:54About six years ago, you were making pictures at MGM, weren't you?
25:59That's right.
26:00Well, now, who had the dressing room next to yours?
26:03Oh, hello, Ava.
26:09No, no, look, Dinah.
26:10Ava Gardner had the dressing room on one side of you.
26:13Now, who had the one on the other side?
26:15That was the washroom.
26:17Only part of it.
26:20Look, Dinah, this is Jack Benny.
26:23Oh, Jack, hello.
26:24I haven't talked to you in a long time.
26:26Oh, it's been almost a year now.
26:27That's right.
26:28Now, look, Dinah, here's why I called.
26:30Well, look, Jack, if it's about my Christmas cards, I've already called you.
26:32No, no, no, I was going to call you about that.
26:35Now, Dinah, the reason I called is because on October 28th, on Saturday,
26:40I'm going to do my first television show, and I'd love to have you as my guest.
26:45Well, Jack, I'm very flattered.
26:47How'd you happen to think of me?
26:48Well, I saw you on Bob Hope's program about six weeks ago.
26:52I thought you were just wonderful.
26:55And, of course, Dinah, between you and me,
26:58I would have never let you do that last number, you know?
27:01Well, that's the one of them.
27:02Which one was that, Jack?
27:04The one where you were dressed in those tight slacks,
27:07and you kept walking up and down the stage, swinging your hips.
27:11That was Bob.
27:13Oh.
27:15Well, I couldn't get near the screen, you know.
27:18It was so crowded in front of the store.
27:22Well, look, Dinah, how much money would you want to be a guest on my program?
27:26Oh, Jack, I don't think we ought to talk about money.
27:29Now the important thing is to do a good show.
27:31What would you want me to sing?
27:32Well, I don't know.
27:33I imagine you'd be the best judge of that, you know.
27:35Well, those old standards are always good.
27:38Something like, uh, well, like, uh,
27:41let me sing a little bit of one for you and see how you like it, all right?
27:43Yeah.
27:44You remember this one, Jack?
28:00Yeah.
28:01Couldn't tell you how I tried it
28:06Just why didn't you find you
28:11Can you hear me?
28:13Uh-huh.
28:14Oh, fine.
28:14When you went away
28:17You left a glowing spot
28:20Trying to begin
28:24It's just a thing in the dark
28:28I am only
28:31What you make me
28:34Come take me
28:37I'm you
28:41How happy
28:44I would be
28:47To beg and borrow
28:49Or start with you
28:56Even though I knew
29:01Tomorrow
29:03You'd say
29:06What'd you say?
29:08What'd you say?
29:08What'd you say?
29:09What'd you say, Dina?
29:10Dina, what'd you say?
29:11Oh, oh, Jack, I'm sorry
29:13I got scared away
29:14If we drifted north
29:17Then I'll be lost alone
29:21Oh, you used my heart
29:25To start stepping stone
29:28How can I help
29:31Dreaming of you
29:34I love you
29:37I'm you
29:41Jack, what do you think of that one, Jack?
29:56Oh, that was wonderful, Dina.
29:57It sounded swell.
29:58Now, getting back to business,
29:59how much money would you want
30:00to be a guest, huh?
30:02Oh, Jack, I don't know
30:03how much money to ask for.
30:04I'm not much of a businessman.
30:05Well, well, anything.
30:07Just name a price.
30:07I mean, I won't take advantage of you.
30:09Well, uh, Jack,
30:14I think you ought to pay me
30:15what I got on my last television show.
30:17How much was that?
30:18$5,000.
30:20Well, I think...
30:21Jack!
30:28Jack!
30:31Jack!
30:35Thank you, Roger.
30:36You're welcome.
30:37Uh, look, how much money did you ask for?
30:39$5,000.
30:52Uh, Dina...
30:53Uh-huh?
30:54What happened, Jack?
30:55Look, I'm all right.
30:57I'm all right now, Dina,
30:58but look at...
30:59Uh-huh.
30:59Uh, let's...
31:00Let's do this in a business-like way.
31:01I think $5,000 is too much.
31:03Now, I could go as high...
31:05Your time is up.
31:06Deposit five cents
31:08for another three minutes, please.
31:10Oh, Dina...
31:11You called me, Jack.
31:13Oh, yeah.
31:14Yeah.
31:19Now, look, Dina,
31:20won't you reconsider that?
31:21Uh, uh,
31:22I think it's just a little bit too much.
31:24Oh, Jack,
31:24what have you got against $5,000?
31:27Nothing!
31:27That's why I'd like to keep it.
31:29Yeah!
31:32Uh, look at Dina.
31:33Look, Jack,
31:34we shouldn't be talking business.
31:35That's what we have agents for.
31:38Well...
31:38You see,
31:39my agent's name is
31:40Task Driver.
31:41Why don't you have your agent
31:42called my agent?
31:44Well, all right.
31:44That's the way you want her, Dina.
31:45That's the way it'll be, you know.
31:46I think it's better that way, Jack.
31:48Okay.
31:49And thank you so much.
31:50You're welcome.
31:51Bye.
31:51Goodbye.
31:52Oh, oh, Dina.
31:53Yes, ma'am.
31:53Listen, when we do our show,
31:54wear that green taffeta dress.
31:57The blue one!
31:57The blue one!
31:58Rrrr!
32:00Polly,
32:01wear that green taffeta dress.
32:02The blue one!
32:03The blue one!
32:04Rrrr!
32:05All right,
32:06wear that blue dress.
32:07Oh, Jack,
32:08that blue dress is so tight.
32:09Rrrr!
32:19All right, Dina.
32:20Wear anything.
32:21I'll see you.
32:22Huh?
32:23Goodbye.
32:23Goodbye.
32:32Well, anyway, ladies and gentlemen,
32:33as I try to explain to Don Wilson,
32:36that's the way we had Dina Shore.
32:38Now, before I bring it around, though,
32:39I think it's no more than right
32:40that I thank the Anheuser-Busch people
32:43for, uh...
32:45Oh, I look now.
32:48Uh, anything for a laugh,
32:50even if you look cloudy.
32:50But, uh,
32:51I want to thank the Anheuser-Busch people
32:53for giving me these 45 minutes.
32:55And I also would like to thank
32:57my very, very dear friend,
32:58that very fine comedian
33:00who's the star of that show,
33:01Mr. Ken Murray,
33:03personally.
33:03And he's right here,
33:04and I'd just like to have you stay here.
33:05Well, I see you're smoking a cigarette, huh?
33:21Yeah, I got your letter.
33:22Oh.
33:25Ken, I want to thank you very, very much
33:27for being on my show.
33:28I really do.
33:28Well, that's nothing, Jack.
33:30Jack, I would do anything in the world for you.
33:31I'd give you my shirt.
33:32Really?
33:33Yeah.
33:34You do the best laundry in town, don't you?
33:37Oh, are you one of my customers?
33:38I certainly am.
33:39Just take a look at that.
33:40NSM.
33:42Oh, yes.
33:43No starch, Murray.
33:45That's right.
33:46Clean but limpy.
33:48Jack, let me say one word, will you?
33:50You're a little behind.
33:52The fellow just came back and said,
33:53brush it up.
33:54But that's all.
33:54I want to tell you,
33:55I dropped by to wish you
33:56all the luck in the world
33:57to one of the very nicest fellows
33:59in our business.
34:00And good luck to you.
34:01Thank you very much.
34:08Well, ladies and gentlemen,
34:09we really do have to.
34:10Well, it isn't a shame
34:11you never know how to time
34:12these first shows.
34:12I'd like to bring you
34:13my guest star now,
34:14the most popular singer
34:15of popular songs in America,
34:17Miss Dinah Shore.
34:26With $5,000,
34:27you could have walked faster.
34:28You know what I mean?
34:30Well, Dinah,
34:30I'm very happy you're on the show.
34:32Now, tell me,
34:32what are you going to sing
34:33for your first number?
34:34I thought I'd sing
34:34Tess's first song.
34:36Oh, that's wonderful.
34:36But look at, uh,
34:37Dinah, do you think
34:38it would help your number
34:39if I accompanied you
34:40on the violin?
34:42Well, Jack,
34:43that's very sweet of you,
34:44but I don't want you
34:44to go to all that.
34:45Oh, it's no bother.
34:46I have the violin with me
34:47right in my dressing room,
34:48you know?
34:49Well, uh, uh, Jack,
34:50you see,
34:51I've already rehearsed it
34:53with the orchestra,
34:53and I think any added instrument
34:55might make me
34:56a little nervous.
34:57Well, it was just
34:58a suggestion, you know.
35:00You know,
35:00maybe some other time, huh?
35:02Yes.
35:02Well, thanks,
35:03just the same.
35:03You know, good luck.
35:16I had a man
35:19Was a good man
35:25That is, you see,
35:28what I mean is
35:30I thought he was
35:31a good man
35:33I had a friend
35:38She was a good friend
35:43I told my friend
35:47about my man
35:48Cause I thought
35:49She was a good friend
35:52Life was sweet
35:58Didn't I have my man
36:03World complete
36:07Then the power began
36:12Ain't got no man
36:16Ain't got no friend
36:21I'll bet you can guess
36:26Just exactly what happened
36:28That was the end
36:31The end of my friend
36:33The end of my man
36:36And darn near the end of me
36:39That was just wonderful
36:52Well, really, Dinah
36:54That was
36:54That was awfully good
36:56You know, Dinah
36:57What I was thinking, though,
36:58before
36:58It seems that I
37:00I don't know
37:00All week we've been here
37:02rehearsing, you know
37:03And, uh
37:03I don't know
37:04I never got to see you
37:05at all
37:05This way
37:06You'd come in the theater
37:07alone
37:07And you'd leave alone
37:09I was just wondering
37:11That if tonight
37:12Now that the excitement
37:13Of the first show
37:14Is over
37:15I was wondering
37:16If you mind
37:16Maybe if we went out
37:17Together
37:18And I'd take you
37:19Home afterwards
37:20You know
37:20Oh, Jack
37:21I can't see any harm
37:22In that
37:23Oh, I wish you could
37:24Oh, Jack
37:29You're cute
37:30L-S-M-F-E
37:31Oh, I got so many
37:35I just nervousness
37:36You know
37:36That's all up
37:38I know
37:39It's a shame
37:39We have to rush
37:40But look, Dinah
37:40What, um
37:42Why don't you go out
37:43With me tonight?
37:44Well, Jack, you know
37:45I'd like to know
37:46A little more about somebody
37:47When I go out with them
37:48I haven't known you
37:49Awfully long
37:49What do you mean?
37:50Well, there's just a few things
37:51A girl ought to find out
37:52I'd like to ask you
37:53A few questions
37:53Now, uh, for instance
37:55Do you take your tea with cream
37:59And in your favorite dream
38:00Is there a house with a few?
38:02And would your heart go boom-by-boom
38:04If I should walk into the room
38:06I ought to know more about you
38:08If we really have a day
38:12And we can stay out late
38:14Just tell me
38:14What will you do?
38:16Can we try by
38:17I ought to know more about you
38:22Are you really 39
38:25Or are you 49
38:27Or are you 72
38:29And I would like to know so much
38:31If we go out
38:32Do we go Dutch
38:33I ought to know more about you
38:35We're asking questions now
38:39I'd like to know somehow
38:41Just what we're both gonna do
38:43Can I have a real good time
38:45And be back home at half past nine
38:46I ought to know more
38:48I ought to know more
38:49We ought to know more
38:51I'd like you
38:52To think of rent
38:55Do you like
38:56Do you smoke lucky
38:57Striped like all the smart people do
39:00And do you love to pop and pop
39:02Because you know they're never up
39:03We ought to know more about you
39:06I smoke lucky
39:09Like you all
39:10I'm on for Oxidol
39:12Remember my sponsor too
39:13And while you're watching
39:15You'll agree
39:15It's always LSMFT
39:17We ought to know more about you
39:20After all it's said and done
39:24It's like you're two to one
39:25I know but that's nothing new
39:27Say don't you think that's really sex
39:29So round, so firm, so fully fast
39:36See for a minute
39:41I thought they were talking about me
39:43I ought to know more
39:45We ought to know more
39:47We've got to know more about you
39:50Ladies and gentlemen, our time is nearly up
40:10And I don't believe you'd want to leave
40:12Without hearing my theme song
40:13Love in Blue
40:15Thank you, if you please
40:16schon
40:17You're welcome
40:18I got to know more of you
40:19What's up?
40:20If you please
40:21Come here
40:22You're welcome
40:23ああ
40:23Go
40:24Ahí
40:25THE END
40:55Goodbye dear friends, our program ends and now it's time for pardon
40:59Until next time, smoke Lucky Strike, enjoy them by the cart
41:03Be happy, go Lucky, be happy, go Lucky Strike
41:07Be happy, go Lucky, go Lucky Strike today
41:11Yes friends, enjoy your cigarette
41:16Enjoy truly fine tobacco that always combines both perfect mildness and rich taste
41:21In one great cigarette, Lucky Strike
41:25So remember, make your next carton Lucky Strike
41:29Be happy, go Lucky, go Lucky, go Lucky Strike today
41:34This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System
41:42Thank you so much for watching
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