- 8 months ago
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00:00name your consultant what what time's your appointment no I don't actually have one if
00:20it's an emergency best go to A&E I'm afraid we don't offer a drop-in service no I know sorry
00:25it's just I've only just worked it all out you see I've got this online I've saved the link hold on
00:33just too much of this is matching up I knew that there was something seriously wrong with him I
00:39knew it it's just the way he's reacting or actually he's not really reacting and it does say on here
00:46that if it isn't his eyes then it's most probably something to do with his brain so so what I go to
00:52A&E and I sit there for 10 hours and then I just I'm just gonna get told to come back here aren't I
00:56so I need we need to see a consultant and I need to get him checked out okay you will need an actual
01:04referral well you do emergency appointments here don't you yes all right okay well can I get one
01:11of them then please his name's Jimmy Bill he should be there because he's literally only two weeks old
01:16I appreciate you baby stressful times Mrs Bill Brannon miss this isn't me just being paranoid look I'm sorry
01:26I'm sorry I know I know babies don't usually focus this early and they develop at different times
01:31this
01:33this is different okay I can feel it I know it's different we strongly suggest as a start
01:41if mum is worried she contact her health visitor for God's sake no it's not me that needs help it's
01:48him it's my baby this is urgent
01:50listen mate I need a word your mum is I'm not saying she's um she's ill
01:59um and there's nothing to worry about me but a lot of women can feel quite strung out and sad
02:05right after the baby's born it's just gonna be hardest on your mum
02:09you know so let's just let's be nice to her don't kick the football against the front door
02:14yeah and that
02:16all right come on
02:18Lauren
02:21babe
02:25oh the pram's gone
02:29if she's taking Jimmy for it that means she can pick up some milk
02:32why don't you take your tablet
02:34what
02:35under the sink
02:36what do you mean
02:37how do you mean what tablet
02:39what tablet
02:42Louie
02:43Louie
02:46when did you last see your Montague tablet
02:49right two minutes break don't go anywhere Louie stay there yeah
02:55Linda
02:59Linda
03:00Linda
03:01Linda have you seen Lauren I can't find her
03:03well Lauren could be having a lie down upstairs if
03:07well she's not there she's not in and you don't understand the health visitor thought she might have postnatal depression
03:12okay but it's not that though is it
03:14does the health visitor know that Lauren
03:16not that is it you can't hang on hang on there's no way she's chasing up a stash
03:23what
03:23that's what Louie says that it must be morphine again
03:26what she's got drugs in the house
03:28grand shut me down but it makes sense that's why she's all over the place
03:31Peter
03:31there's tablets under the sink
03:33that's what Louie told me but they're not there anymore dad
03:36they've gone
03:37I took her at face value
03:38just just hang on
03:39all right
03:40Lauren talks to you
03:41doesn't she
03:42you can't just go on the say so of a nine-year-old
03:46why would Louie make it up
03:47I mean once an addict
03:49always an addict
03:50I'm sorry Linda no offence but
03:52it's easy to have a relapse
03:54I told you I've already seen my health visitor
04:00and she didn't pick up anything with your son
04:02oh Dave
04:03Bob's going in the disabled loos again
04:05maybe she just got distracted
04:10or jumped to conclusions
04:11we do have a waiting list
04:13what's that going to be for an urgent appointment
04:14what six months if I'm lucky
04:17have you got any idea how hard that is going to be to wait for
04:20for us
04:22for him
04:23for me
04:24doctors were happy
04:25otherwise they wouldn't have discharged you
04:27if you're not satisfied with your health visitor
04:30you need to make an appointment with your practice
04:32if necessary
04:33the GP will refer James to us
04:37and an appropriate consultant
04:39it is not James
04:40it is Jimmy
04:42and that is just not good enough
04:45well that's how the system works
04:47well I'm just his mother
04:48what do I know
04:50no do you know what
04:57I want to speak to your manager
04:59and then I want to speak to your manager's manager
05:02I'm sorry guys I'm sorry
05:04but we just
05:04looks like we're going to have to wait
05:05a little bit
05:06for as long as it takes
05:09because I am not moving
05:12go on then
05:14call security
05:16hope you don't mind your face all over social media then
05:19we do not
05:21tolerate
05:22threatening behaviour
05:23you need to listen to me
05:25just
05:27listen
05:28okay
05:28I know
05:30that you probably end up with all sorts in here
05:32and you
05:32you probably have
05:34had a gutful
05:35this is not just my job
05:39this is my life
05:40my baby
05:42and for all we know
05:45every second that you spend
05:46just fobbing me off
05:47he is getting worse
05:49I am not some
05:52crazy hysterical mother
05:53that you get to patronise
05:55I'm not
05:55my son needs help
05:58he needs help
05:59so you
06:00you need to help him
06:01help him
06:02help him
06:03now
06:04Lauren
06:05after everything she said
06:13right
06:13after everything she promised
06:15I mean that girl
06:16is a walking disaster
06:18I mean
06:18lack of sleep
06:18stressed
06:19I mean
06:20you go and look it up
06:21right
06:21it is all classic signs
06:23of morphine addiction
06:24withdrawal
06:25I mean she's been at it again
06:26right underneath our noses
06:28or new motherhood
06:29Ian
06:29I can spare an hour
06:31go and check up the park
06:32I should have trusted my instincts
06:34alright
06:34I mean she's a brownie
06:35you want to watch out for your little girl
06:37with her genetics
06:38Lauren loves her boys
06:40according to Peter
06:41my grandson
06:42is losing weight
06:43because she can't even breastfeed him properly
06:45what did you just say?
06:46I'm just saying how it is
06:48alright
06:48I mean I've had enough of this woke stuff
06:50well I can only apologise to my son Linda
06:53it's his age
06:54I've spent too much time following powerful men online
06:57and liking their nonsense
06:58I don't need any more grief
07:00look
07:00any money
07:01Lauren will be back before tea time
07:03it's exactly what I said
07:04hello
07:05hospital
07:08it's the hospital
07:09yes
07:12no
07:13well I've managed to calm her down a little
07:16if someone can come to pick them up
07:18I can try to stay with her until then
07:19no
07:21not at all
07:22it's not unusual for new mums to worry
07:24particularly when there's been issues with feeding
07:25Lauren clearly just
07:27sorry
07:29what do you mean?
07:34it's okay
07:37it's okay
07:39don't cry
07:39don't cry
07:42you hungry little boy
07:43I know
07:44it's okay
07:46we can try again
07:48can't we?
07:49yeah
07:49we can try again
07:51I'll never stop trying
07:54Lauren
07:57can you open the door please?
08:00Lauren
08:00can you hear me?
08:02yeah
08:02have you got someone?
08:03have you
08:03have you found us a consultant?
08:08I'm very sorry to be blunt
08:09but I'm afraid I have to ask
08:11Peter is concerned
08:12are you taking any unprescribed medication
08:14your family weren't aware of?
08:17what?
08:18Peter thinks I'm relapsing
08:20something your older son told him
08:22tablets you store under the sink
08:24here
08:27hello
08:33Penny said everyone's up to dash off
08:36I thought we could have our dinner out
08:38at a proper restaurant
08:39weren't you now Kim?
08:42what?
08:43you heard what I said
08:43Louis was left here
08:45Louis stays here
08:46oh right
08:48and what are you going to do if I don't agree?
08:50hospitalise me
08:51we've already got our nuggets in the oven
08:53haven't we darling?
08:54is mum ill again?
08:55is that why you're whispering?
08:56no
08:57no
08:57no
08:57no
08:58do you know what
08:59they do brilliant ice cream in that restaurant too
09:03we've got ice cream
09:04are you staying grandma?
09:06can she stay gran?
09:08of course
09:08oh
09:09excellent
09:11nuggets
09:12your gran's best dish
09:14hey
09:29hey little man
09:30you alright?
09:31sleepy
09:32you okay?
09:32is she okay?
09:35alright there's these tablets
09:38she's been taking these tablets
09:39I think Lauren should explain
09:40have you any idea how disappointed we are?
09:42it's folic acid
09:42I mean what is that?
09:44it's folic acid
09:45it's folic acid
09:46it's just what every
09:47pregnant woman
09:48takes
09:49every breastfeeding woman
09:50would take
09:50if they're trying to do the best for their kid
09:52it's a supplement over the counter
09:53so why is she hiding it under the sink then?
09:57I don't know
09:57I've got no idea
09:59have you ever given birth
10:01Ian?
10:02had to look after a whole household
10:03and the other child
10:04all while
10:04you're wearing a maternity pad
10:06the same size as a pillow
10:07and then
10:08your boobs are just leaking
10:10I think
10:14I just
10:15I put them next to the
10:17the nappies
10:17I did
10:18I just
10:19put them next to the nappies
10:21I
10:21I don't know
10:22I could be lying
10:23because I don't
10:24I honestly do not remember
10:26the last time I had a shower
10:27I don't remember the last time
10:28I brushed my teeth
10:29I'm sorry
10:30no don't
10:30don't touch me
10:32I don't want you anywhere near me
10:33we're meant to be doing this together
10:37out of everyone
10:38you are meant to be on my side
10:40perhaps we could give mum and dad a minute
10:43well you don't exactly make it easy
10:44don't you
10:44shut up Ian
10:45look
10:47Lauren
10:48I thought you might
10:49need some more express milk
10:51I wasn't
10:57I didn't
10:58postnatal depression
10:59would anyone actually be surprised
11:02I mean your whole family
11:04talking down at me
11:05you're always looking for a problem
11:07as long as it's mine
11:08you blame us
11:09I am not
11:10Cindy
11:11I'm not your mum
11:14I stand by
11:17my kids
11:18I
11:19I
11:20I raised Louis
11:21on my own
11:22for years
11:23do you know what
11:25I'm done
11:28I'm done
11:30you win
11:32I'm not trying to win anything over your love
11:34I've just lost it
11:34it's my hormones
11:35I'm just
11:36some pathetic
11:37ex-addict
11:38some little woman
11:39that you've just got to try and control
11:40that's not what I think of you
11:42no it is
11:42no it's not
11:43yes it is
11:43you just fake
11:45like you're listening to me
11:46and you just
11:47you just smile
11:48and you nod
11:49anything for an easy life Peter
11:50I have said it
11:52over
11:53and over again
11:55and you still
11:56haven't even looked at him
11:57you haven't
11:59not properly
12:00not once
12:01why are his eyes like that?
12:04because he can't focus
12:06his gaze just sort of drifts off
12:10hey
12:11you're awake now
12:13it's like that
12:14it's like that all the time
12:15it's constant
12:15you have to really really look for it
12:17right
12:18but it's just
12:19it's like his eyes just wobbling
12:20okay
12:25might be worth
12:27getting someone to have a little look
12:28as you're here anyway
12:29can you put a call up to Ms.RU
12:39now please
12:41what do you have a minute?
12:45you know what
12:45the amount I've paid in parking fees
12:47they should give me my own space
12:48latte or cappuccino
12:50well it's not going to make any difference to the taste is it?
12:58one step at a time eh
13:00one step at a time
13:03it just seemed to be alright
13:06I'm sorry
13:18I've got an addictive personality
13:25you've always known that about me
13:28but it's like every time I say it
13:31it just doesn't land with you
13:33the morphine
13:35it didn't just kick off
13:37because I went wandering
13:38about the streets
13:39looking for it
13:39and that is not me saying
13:42that none of this is my fault
13:43I know
13:44I broke your trust
13:47and I'm not proud of myself
13:49I'm just not sure that
13:52this is going to be something that we can get over
13:55is it?
13:58every time that you expect the worst of me
14:01well you just ignore me
14:04you break my trust
14:07not one of our parents has ever just
14:14stood by each other
14:16maybe loyalty just isn't in our DNA
14:20we'll be better
14:25and our boys will
14:27they will have it better
14:29I'm sorry
14:31well and I panicked
14:34I'm sorry
14:35you know ever since Lucy died
14:38I
14:38the only time I don't feel like half a person
14:42is when I've got you by my side
14:44it's the only time
14:45I just want you
14:49me
14:50the boys
14:51I just
14:51I want
14:52I just want a normal life
14:54mum
15:06I can't answer
15:07what I don't know
15:08all right
15:10um
15:11maybe
15:13it wasn't drugs
15:14all right
15:14I mean she was still pretty hysterical
15:18yeah the midwife said
15:23might as well do some tests
15:24seeing as we're here
15:25let's have a look
15:27to be honest
15:30I think they're
15:30I think they are just humouring Lauren
15:33yeah his eyes are a little bit slow
15:37but I mean
15:37there's
15:37there's nothing unusual in my experience
15:40I mean give the poor little fellow a chance
15:42I mean he can't even lift his head up yet
15:43can he
15:44that's right
15:45oh
15:46I mean all he's meant to be able to do is
15:49eat sleep and
15:49yeah
15:50exactly
15:51well
15:53if the hospital were that worried
15:55like they'd have had him in straight away
15:58wouldn't they
15:59I can't see anything wrong with his eyes
16:03yeah they're going to do some non-invasive tests
16:09you know
16:09just check little Jimmy out
16:11and put their minds at rest
16:13yeah and get Lauren off their backs
16:18okay
16:20yeah well I'm
16:22I'm sure you're right
16:23well we
16:25we just have to wait and see won't we
16:27all right
16:29bye
16:30we just have to wait and see won't we
16:32we just have to wait and see won't we
16:33we just have to wait and see won't we
16:34we just have to wait and see won't we
16:35we just have to wait and see won't we
16:36we just have to wait and see won't we
16:37we just have to wait and see won't we
16:38we just have to wait and see won't we
16:39we just have to wait and see won't we
16:40we just have to wait and see won't we
16:41we just have to wait and see won't we
16:42we just have to wait and see won't we
16:43we just have to wait and see won't we
16:44we just have to wait and see won't we
16:45we just have to wait and see won't we
16:46we just have to wait and see won't we
16:47we just have to wait and see won't we
16:48we just have to wait and see won't we
16:49I told you I don't do politics.
17:17I'm just saying, I mean, when we were growing up, all right, being a powerful man didn't make him toxic, did it?
17:25I mean, what is wrong with wanting to try and get out what you put in?
17:29I mean, that's my point. I mean, I pay my taxes.
17:32I mean, by rights, you could say I bought this for the NHS.
17:36Well, you've killed off their plastic pot plant.
17:38Obviously, I'm not going to ask them for it back, but if I did own this, I would have fixed it.
17:43Obviously, that's a design flaw.
17:49And people wonder why the NHS is on its knees.
17:55You all right? Are we done yet?
17:57Or do I have to go and stick another second mortgage on to pay for half an hour of parking?
18:00Peter?
18:06We can take five if you'd like to go after him.
18:09Let Peter catch his breath.
18:13Why don't I find some literature that might help?
18:15So, as I explained, Jimmy has optic nerve and chorio-retinal coloboma,
18:22which means that the back of his eyes hasn't properly formed.
18:26Back of the eye is vital to give the brain the information it needs to make a picture of the world.
18:32We will need to do further tests.
18:35This is such an unusually early diagnosis.
18:39Wouldn't normally have been picked up until Jimmy was several months, but...
18:43Can't see.
18:43I would suggest that we register Jimmy as severely sight-impaired.
18:56He's dying.
19:02He can't see.
19:08He can't see.
19:09He can't see.
19:13Right, so what now?
19:17Peter, you need to man up.
19:19No, no, this doesn't make any sense, all right?
19:21I mean, how could this happen?
19:22I mean, how could my grandson learn anything?
19:26Right, how's he going to read, drive, dress himself, feed himself?
19:29How is my grandson going to have any sort of normal life when he can't see?
19:32It's his eyes.
19:36It's not his brain.
19:38Right, you need to get back in there, right, and see that Miss A up, okay?
19:42Tell her that we are going to go private.
19:44Look, I've got a pension that I can access.
19:46We are going to get a second opinion.
19:48We are going to get every treatment.
19:50We are going to get every operation.
19:51We are going to fix Jimmy.
19:52Jimmy!
19:52Unfortunately, there is no operation.
19:59In some families, coloboma can be inherited, but many cases appear without any previous family history.
20:09No, this is mine.
20:09The methadone you were prescribed cannot have caused this, Lauren.
20:14It can be environmental factors, infections, or harmful drugs during pregnancy.
20:28I did this.
20:29We will need to carry out further tests.
20:32We'll have a much clearer idea when those results come back in six weeks.
20:36I did this.
20:37I did this.
20:45This is my punishment.
20:48This is what I deserve, but not him.
20:51I mean, how can you play Russian roulette with a little tiny baby's life?
20:57No.
21:00What sort of mama does that?
21:02Lauren.
21:06Selfish.
21:07Screw up.
21:09Now he's the one that loses.
21:11Okay, listen.
21:12We can't know the cause at this stage.
21:20But he's just like...
21:22That's what you're telling me.
21:26For definite.
21:27Yes.
21:29Yes.
21:33But he is.
21:35This is all my fault.
21:40My baby is disabled.
21:44For the rest of his life.
21:46A disability is not a death sentence.
22:07Details of the ICA liaison officer we mentioned, and charities.
22:14There are some really great advice teams.
22:16Once things start to sink in, you and Lauren are bound to have questions.
22:19Could you just take me out?
22:23Could you just take me out?
22:26Right.
22:27Right.
22:28Okay.
22:29Well, I'll make sure that Lauren gets back okay.
22:33Thank you for being so kind.
22:35They just need to give themselves some time.
22:38Peter is shell-shocked.
22:39They all are.
23:12Oh, my God.
23:42Oh, my God, forgive me.
23:50Please, please forgive me.
23:55I'm so sorry.
23:58I'm so sorry, Jimmy.
24:05Everything.
24:08Everything that I've taken away from you.
24:12You can't see.
24:18You can't see me.
24:21I would do anything.
24:23I would give anything to take it all back.
24:27I promise you, I am never going to take not even a paracetamol ever again.
24:34The future that you don't have.
24:41How?
24:44How?
24:45How could I do this to you?
24:46You deserve so much better than this.
24:51I love you.
24:57I love you so much.
24:59God, I'm scared.
25:10I'm scared.
25:12I don't know how to do this.
25:15I don't know what you need.
25:16I never meant for any of this to happen.
25:28That's it.
25:30That's all well done, you beautiful, beautiful baby boy.
25:34I never got there in the end, didn't we, eh?
25:45You and me.
25:45Because it is.
25:48It's you and me.
25:50It's you and me now.
25:52Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
25:55And I owe you.
25:58I've got to work this out.
26:02I will.
26:03I will work it out.
26:04I am never going to stop fighting for you.
26:09I am going to be right there with you.
26:19In the dark.
26:27Because we are, isn't it?
26:28We're in the dark together.
26:32And I don't know.
26:34I don't know how we're going to get through it.
26:37And I can't say that everything's going to be okay.
26:39I can't.
26:41I swear to you.
26:44You're not on your own.
26:46You're not.
26:47Mummy is right here with you.
26:51Mummy's right here.
26:55We're going to do this together.
26:57We're going to do this together.
26:58We're going to do this together.
26:58We're going to do this together.
26:59We're going to do this together.
27:00We're going to do this together.
27:00We're going to do this together.
27:00We're going to do this together.
27:01We're going to do this together.
27:01We're going to do this together.
27:02We're going to do this together.
27:02We're going to do this together.
27:03We're going to do this together.
27:03We're going to do this together.
27:04We're going to do this together.
27:04We're going to do this together.
27:05We're going to do this together.
27:06We're going to do this together.
27:07We're going to do this together.
27:08We're going to do this together.
27:09We're going to do this together.
27:10We're going to do this together.
27:11We're going to do this together.
27:12Oh
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