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S05 E09 >>> https://dai.ly/x9ryouq
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00:00it comes with this 500ml cup if you're making a smoothie or a milkshake for yourself but there's
00:20also an additional 2 litre glass jug for larger amounts it's a great option to have isn't it Tony
00:27yeah absolutely Val and with the crushed ice feature you could you could even knock yourself
00:33up a batch of margaritas and you do know how I love my six o'clock cocktail don't you darling
00:41now blenders like this normally retail at over 100 pounds but today we're selling this for only
00:5059.99 59.99 now Maria I can tell this is going to be very popular absolutely Valentina we've already
01:03sold an amazing 35 units and that's before you've demonstrated how quiet it is yes and I was just
01:09about to do that listen to this and stay tuned after the break for more amazing bargains on the
01:27World Shopping Channel and we're clear who did this who did this oh my goodness get that dirty rag away
01:37Tony I'm here I'm here darling Tina I'm so sorry I was on the phone to the channel what happened
01:43the snap lock seal is broken but I checked it myself earlier I told you Andrew I told you someone's out
01:51to get me now either you saw this or you bring someone else that can or else oh god come on come on
01:59no no I can't look clean you I can't
02:21just so that we can get a full picture of the incident yeah it's been going on for a while now
02:35items Valentina's been using for the live demos have been misbehaving last week a massaging mattress
02:43topper went rogue a rogue massaging mattress ah yeah that's a bestseller isn't it it's perfect for
02:49easing your aching muscles at the end of a working day well this one nearly threw her to the floor
02:54and today's been the final straw I come bearing tea thank you so tell us what is Valentino Orsino
03:02really like she always looks so fabulous not so much there but usually you know who this is yes
03:08it's Valentino Orsino this is her husband Tony they're the face of WSC the World Shopping Channel
03:15ofs they have shows every weekday morning and lunchtime it's the network's prime time slots
03:21and your company um escala studios you make these shows for the past 20 years oh right oh it's your big
03:29birthday bargain bonanza this week isn't it yes which is why I could do without the headache our
03:35contract with the channels up for renewal we really need to smash our sales targets so who has access to
03:41the products before they're uh demonstrated well I do perceive here a divided duty I should get that
03:49excuse me and you've really got no idea who might be trying to humiliate Valentino she's my star talent
03:55but with any great talent comes high expectations bit of a diva she just knows what she wants yeah I
04:03can't go back to her without real answers so I need results and fast well we would need full access to
04:10the studios yes we'd probably need to meet Tony and Maria and just like the whole team so yes we'd
04:18love to take the job thank you and I can count on you to be discreet we can't have Valentino any more
04:25disturbed than she already has been discretion is my middle name right our covers in place yes I am
04:33called Coco I am makeup artist extraordinaire darling I'm gonna be doing Valentino's hair and
04:39makeup I'm so excited all right me old Chinas I'm Simeon Bardolph just moved down from acne starting today as a
04:45junior product fluffer which I pray means that I'll be sorting out the merchandise before it goes on screen
04:52I'm Frank facilities maintenance here to do a service on the alarms which are in fact cameras
05:00I think we've got all angles covered couldn't have chosen a different name excuse me Frank is way more
05:06discreet than Simeon and Corcor oh oh darling you're so kind oh yes I can see why you're like very
05:30very Sophia Loren I know right oh sorry darling we don't want me to be late do we right come on let's get to work
05:45what's that I was told to speak to Jane I'm Simeon oh you're when you fluff are nice to meet you
06:15and you hi I'm Maria I know seeing you on screen tucked away in my booth not for much longer it's the
06:2320th birthday bonanza launch later and we've just heard that Maria is going to be with Valentina and Tony doing
06:29some proper presenting oh yeah congratulations that's mint that is asking Andrew for months even offered to make
06:37a cake for the show well that clearly swung it I don't know he hasn't seen it yet certainly didn't use anything as
06:42fancy as all this like oh it'll be great and so will you right I need to top up I'm on the honey ginger and
06:50lemon ah for the old options your options choice your voice yes yes oh I did a little bit of amdream
07:01back home in acne well I'll leave you in James capable hands she's a legend been here since day one
07:06knows literally everything about all our product oh get away with you serious and remember what I
07:11said you shouldn't let Valentina speak to you like that I've still seen as just stress that's all
07:16yeah I saw that blender thing that was made any uh idea what happened yeah oh I wish I had
07:24I hate it when the products look bad on screen it reflects poorly on me oh Maria we've managed to
07:31misplace the menopause expert for this morning's stroke can you let me check them down just a
07:38little dusting on the t-zone there I know it's not very professional of me to say this but I think
07:45you're amazing do you know a uh a viewer once called me the Elizabeth Taylor of television shopping
07:53who am I to argue well exactly darling shame isn't it about all these recent accidents on air
08:01so they were not accidents that was sabotage and I think I know who's behind it who Maria
08:11what Maria Squire that jumped up admin girl has been angling for my job as if that's ever going to
08:18happen that's not argon oil is it no I was told no cosmetics containing nuts tree nuts specifically
08:26we're ready for you done an okay job I suppose thanks
08:33Val darling hello I'm the new makeup artist Coco I was just admiring these beautiful flowers
08:51so yes they were a gift from me Burton that's a pet name inside joke you know
08:59are you needed back on set oh no no Val's doing the morning show solo it's a it's a special on
09:08the menopause so I'm surplus requirements actually while you're here could I get a touch-up I want to
09:17look perfect for the 20th birthday bargain bonanza launch yes definitely I mean maybe I could redo
09:23your base do you have any breathtaking bronze that's my usual color oh I was thinking of something a
09:31bit more neutral oh no no no I always use that shade it gives such a subtle glow hmm not to worry
09:38I'll find my usual girl okay
09:41oh
09:45oh
09:47oh
09:48oh
09:49oh
09:50oh
09:51oh
09:52oh
09:53oh
09:54oh
09:55oh
09:56oh
09:57oh
09:58oh
09:59oh
10:00oh
10:01oh
10:02oh
10:03oh
10:04oh
10:05oh
10:06oh
10:07oh
10:08Frankie
10:12er
10:13yes
10:14er
10:15Andrew asked me to find you
10:16sorry you're not quite what I expected
10:18yeah I er I get that a lot but rest assured I'm very good at what I do
10:23wouldn't have been booked otherwise
10:24exactly
10:25should we go to set
10:27er does Andrew want me to set up there as well
10:29er does Andrew want me to set up there as well
10:30er of course that's where Valentina is
10:32okay
10:33aren't you gonna bring that with you
10:36er
10:37er
10:38er
10:39er
10:40er
10:41yeah I guess so yeah
10:42it's called the femifan and it works a treat
10:45you just press the power button decide on the power that you want and voila you're good to go
10:52it eases all those hot flushes and it's a bargain at only 4.99 so pick up the phone now
10:59shh
11:00shh
11:01you do not want to miss out
11:02watching her lying in the studio
11:05did you find anything useful out
11:06oh
11:07well apparently Valentina bullies all the staff
11:10I'm delighted to welcome Frankie Cannon of Femi Change UK. It's lovely to meet you, Frankie. Please, take a seat.
11:31That is not Frankie Cannon. That is not Frankie Cannon.
11:35Frankie? A Femi squeeze?
11:38Femi what? Femi squeeze.
11:40Oh, yes, yes.
11:42Unfortunately, urinal incontinence is a reality for so many women experiencing peri or menopausal changes.
11:50But the unique pelvic floor muscle trainer, only £9.99, is designed to combat that.
11:57Why don't you show us how the Femi Squeeze works, Frankie?
12:01Er...
12:03There you go. Easy peasy.
12:11Oh, hello.
12:15Squeeze. Squeeze.
12:19So easy.
12:21Well, I think my pelvic floor must already be shot.
12:25For every Femi Squeeze bought today...
12:27I'm really sorry about that. Oh, sorry.
12:29For every Femi Squeeze bought today, a donation will be made to Femi Change UK and with more exclusive offers after the break.
12:39And we're out.
12:43Valentina, I am so sorry.
12:45Sorry? Who the hell is this oaf?
12:47Hey!
12:48Oh, it really wasn't that bad. Honestly, you were still great.
12:51Who are you?
12:52This is Frank and Lou. They're the people I hired to find your saboteur.
12:56I thought you'd engage experienced undercover investigators, not a second-rate make-up artist and an incompetent fool.
13:06She had people spying on us.
13:08You did this on purpose, didn't you?
13:10No, it was a genuine mistake, I swear.
13:13We just got a wire across.
13:14If you think that you're going to help me with the birthday bug and bonanza after that stunt, you can think again.
13:19And you promised he'd give me a shot at pretending.
13:22Did he now?
13:27I thought we'd spoken about that.
13:32Perhaps you should stay in your booth, Maria, just for the time being.
13:36I am so sick of being surrounded by talentless and dreary people.
13:49Remind me again which one of them is actually the owner of the studio.
13:59Darling, give me a moment.
14:02To get away from all the riff-raff.
14:05She's more worked up than ever.
14:07And you are being live to the nation as a menopause expert.
14:10Is this what Shakespeare and Hathaway class is discreet?
14:13Oh, here you are!
14:20You feeling alright?
14:22I'm getting there, thanks.
14:25I shouldn't let her get to me.
14:27I mean, it's only TV, right?
14:30It's just...
14:32My fiancé broke up with me a couple of months ago.
14:35Oh.
14:36It's been really hard.
14:37I just thought maybe this was my chance to, you know, show him what he's missing.
14:40Hmm.
14:42That's really sad, isn't it?
14:43No.
14:44Breakups are rough.
14:46Thanks, Simeon.
14:48Come on, girl.
14:50It's just...
14:51It's frustrating because there's loads of audience research that shows that viewers like me almost as much as Valentina,
14:56but every time Andrew says he'll give me a chance, she intervenes.
15:01That's out of order.
15:02So, you know, I'd understand if you wanted to cause a bit of Barney rubble, you know, get your own back.
15:08What, the...the sabotage?
15:10No, that...that's not me.
15:13Today was a genuine mix-up.
15:17I would like to buy whoever is a drink, though.
15:19I'm really sorry about her, dear.
15:24I will find Valentina and I will try and smooth things over.
15:28I think the best thing you can do is solve this case, and fast.
15:32Yes. Well...
15:34I'm sorry you should have seen him. I won't do it again, I promise.
15:36Now, I'm sorry, Jane, because I don't believe you.
15:39And we're live in five, four...
15:52And as part of our 20th Birthday Bargain Bonanza, we'll be giving you an additional 20% discount.
15:59Is this something all right? Oh, go and call your amazing products.
16:02We'll be showing you...
16:03However it is, there won't do anything now that we're investigating the case when you're giving them away.
16:08I don't know that I am.
16:09Can you believe that we've been doing this for 20 years, darling?
16:12I know, I know. It's just flown by.
16:15But I think we should celebrate properly.
16:19Don't worry, is it? It's about to happen.
16:22APPLAUSE
16:24Oh, wow, this looks tasty.
16:40It really does.
16:42Ooh, can't we get a slice?
16:43I just want to thank all you loyal viewers for your support. We really would be nothing without you.
16:48Mmm. Now, stick around, as we're going to be showing you the latest tools and gadgets to make baking five showstoppers like this a doddle.
16:57Starting with our deluxe icing bundle with 15 different nozzles for a professional finish.
17:07With your...
17:09Erm...
17:10I reckon she's having an advantage of that.
17:11Where's her EpiPen?
17:12Professional.
17:13Er, should be in her bag.
17:14Get him to go to adverts. Go to adverts.
17:19So, so Val's not feeling well, so, erm, here are the ads.
17:23It's not in here.
17:25There's a spare one in her dressing room.
17:31Quick!
17:32OK.
17:34I can't find it.
17:37Just keep looking.
17:38I mean, what do they even look like anyway?
17:40Oh! Oh! I think I've got it!
17:42It's, er, still late. She's dead.
17:43Oh!
17:44Yes.
17:45Oh!
17:46Can you get me the police, please?
17:47Come on, Gillian, this is not something we could have anticipated.
17:49You lot.
17:50Again.
17:51I might have to arrest you for obstruction.
17:52Er, I think they'll find we were here first.
17:53Yeah, so, actually, technically, you're the one that's obstructing us?
17:54No.
17:55I'm doing my job.
17:56Not as much to it.
17:57Mrs. Orsino had a known nut allergy.
17:58Obviously, she went into anaphylaxis when she ate that cake.
18:00Mmm.
18:01What about that?
18:02I'm doing my job.
18:03I'm doing my job.
18:04Not as much to it.
18:05Mrs. Orsino had a known nut allergy.
18:06Obviously, she went into anaphylaxis when she ate that cake.
18:07Mmm.
18:08What about the missing EpiPen?
18:09Yeah, we're looking into that.
18:10But if I was her husband, I'd be suing the bakery that made that cake.
18:14Actually, Maria, I'm doing my job.
18:16I'm doing my job.
18:17I'm doing my job.
18:18I'm doing my job.
18:19Not as much to it.
18:20Mrs. Orsino had a known nut allergy.
18:22Obviously, she went into anaphylaxis when she ate that cake.
18:26Mmm.
18:27What about the missing EpiPen?
18:28Yeah, we're looking into that.
18:30But if I was her husband, I'd be suing the bakery that made that cake.
18:35Actually, Maria made it for her.
18:38Who's Maria?
18:44Now, I understand you held Mrs. Orsino responsible for thwarting your career?
18:49I think that's a bit of an overstatement.
18:52Still, maybe you deliberately gave her a cake with nuts, hoping she'd have a reaction.
18:57No, I knew how serious her allergy was.
19:00I cleaned my kitchen, like, three times to make sure it was safe, before I started baking.
19:05There's no way that you'll find traces of nuts in that cake.
19:08Well, we'll know soon enough.
19:10Forensics are testing it as we speak.
19:13Well, thanks so much for coming out.
19:26It's, er, quite busy out there.
19:28You're not thinking of going on air again, are you?
19:30The lunchtime show.
19:32What?
19:33But Valentina only died yesterday.
19:36I'd hope fans might need a little bit more time to process things.
19:39The channel are refusing to budge on sales targets. My hands are tied.
19:43However, I'd also like to rehire you.
19:46Why?
19:47No-one's going to sabotage Valentina now, are there?
19:50Mummy's right, though. Why would you still need us?
19:53To find her killer.
19:55Hi, Simeon.
19:57Or should I say Sebastian?
19:59Sorry.
20:00Last night, I was called to the station for a formal interview.
20:05Forensics found the cake had traces of nuts in it.
20:09Why, they let you go?
20:10Well, they found it had been injected with a hand cream that contained nut oil,
20:15after I'd made it.
20:16We think it might be the same person who tampered with all Valentina's other items.
20:21So you want us to find the saboteur and put Maria in the clear?
20:24Please.
20:25The channel are on my back to resolve this farce,
20:27and I can't have my new presenter under suspicion.
20:31New presenter?
20:33I know me and Valentina didn't see eye to eye,
20:36but Tony's given me his blessing.
20:38Who's going to be in the booth?
20:40Oh, how about Jane Foll?
20:43The product fluffer.
20:45Well, Maria, you said it.
20:47She really knows her stuff.
20:48Jane's great.
20:49It's just she's a bit ordinary.
20:52I'm not sure she has that dynamic, capable flair we're looking for.
20:57Hang on.
20:58You said that you did Amdram.
21:00Me?
21:01Or was that just part of your cover?
21:02Oh, no, no.
21:03I have done some Amdram
21:06and a three-year classical training at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.
21:10And he's worked at the RAC.
21:11Perfect.
21:12How do you fancy resuming your undercover role only this time live on camera?
21:18Own whatever the case requires.
21:21Seven, nine, two.
21:27Cheers.
21:28And tell Will at the Mallard that your next pint is on my tab.
21:30So, my contact at the station reckons it's not just the EpiPen that's gone missing.
21:36Valentina's mobile's gone walk about two.
21:37Hello.
21:38Your call cannot be taken at the moment.
21:42It's turned off.
21:43Which means we can't trace it.
21:44Are we getting over the footage?
21:45Yeah, I don't think it is.
21:46Here comes Maria.
21:47She brings the cake.
21:48She pops it on the trolley there.
21:49And then she wheels it out of sight.
21:50You don't think she could have tampered with it.
21:51Yeah, maybe.
21:52I mean, with Valentina out of the picture, she does become lead presenter, doesn't she?
21:56But it's a bit risky, isn't it, poisoning a cake you made yourself?
22:09Yeah, I suppose.
22:10And it puts her right in Keila's line of sight,
22:11out of sight. You don't think she could have tampered with it. Yeah, maybe. I mean, with
22:14Valentina out of the picture, she does become lead presenter, doesn't she? But it's a bit
22:19risky, isn't it? Poisoning a cake you made yourself. Yeah, I suppose. And it puts her
22:23right in Kayla's line of sight. Everybody else come in? Yeah. Andrew. Yeah. Goes out
22:30of sight. And then a few minutes later, Tony. And then all, yeah. Jane. So they all could
22:39have had opportunity. Stop it there. She got something in her apron pocket.
22:53So this gives you the latest sales figures, and this shows you who's waiting on the phone.
22:58But don't worry, they vet all the calls before they go on air. Thank you. And, um, I'm sorry
23:04again for lying about who I was. I won't hold it against you. Much. So? How does it feel
23:12finally getting to present? Well, I'd feel better if it wasn't under such horrible circumstances.
23:19It doesn't feel real. I mean, me, a television presenter.
23:23Marriage and kids with Fabian was all I ever wanted.
23:32This was taken the day he opened his garage.
23:35I was supposed to be head of admin and sales.
23:39Funny how things change.
23:41Well, it's his loss. Because you are about to become the new star of shopping TV.
23:47Lou, with an update.
23:52You haven't seen Jane about, have you?
23:55She didn't come in today. I think she's too upset.
24:08Hello.
24:09Hello.
24:09Well, you're the investigators, aren't you?
24:13Yes, I am Lou. This is Frank. We just wanted to see how you were. We heard you weren't in work.
24:19Yeah, I couldn't face it. No, not after him.
24:21You murdered Valentina Orsino.
24:24Oh, no.
24:26I've got footage of you by the cake in the prep room, and you definitely had something in your apron pocket.
24:32That's not what you think.
24:35You can't believe that...
24:36You'd better come in.
24:43Oh!
24:44Wow.
24:45I bet you're a nightmare to buy full for Christmas, eh?
24:49Once an item's been demoed on screen, it can't be sold.
24:52They just sit, gathering dust in the storeroom.
24:55So you thought you'd bring just a couple of things home?
24:59I was only borrowing them.
25:01I was going to put it all back eventually.
25:02I spent hours researching these products.
25:07So, the thing that was in your apron, is that what you were around with Valentina about?
25:14She saw me slipping it into my bag.
25:16She said she'd tell Andrew I was a thief and get me sacked.
25:19But she never got a chance.
25:20I didn't kill Valentina, I swear.
25:23So why didn't you go into work today, then?
25:25Yeah, I mean, it did make you look a little bit guilty.
25:28Well, look around you.
25:31I am guilty.
25:33I didn't think it was stealing, not really.
25:36But when Valentina caught me like that, I realised I was lying to myself.
25:41I'm going to have to quit.
25:44Maybe not.
25:46It's never too late to make things right.
25:48You've got the electric foot warmer with detachable fur muff.
25:52I really wanted one of those.
25:53I nearly got one, actually.
25:56Sorry.
25:58Oh.
26:00Is that the massage mat that Andrew said went rogue?
26:04Yeah, I brought it back to try and figure out what went wrong with it.
26:07And, um, to give it a go, of course.
26:09Vindaloo?
26:13No.
26:14I recognise that shade.
26:15That's breathtaking bombs.
26:26I had a bit of a thing for Tony back in the day, you know?
26:29When he was, er, on Good Morning Stratford.
26:33Spray on hair.
26:36Fake tan and, er...
26:37Ooh, haemorrhoid cream.
26:41Yeah, I can see why you liked him.
26:42Stop it.
26:45Yeah, that's definitely a match.
26:48Breathtaking bronze, that's what was on the mattress.
26:50Do you think he was sabotaging his wife because she treated him like a doormat?
26:56I don't know.
26:57I feel like it was something more than that.
26:59What do you think you're doing?
27:01We're doing our job, Mr Orsino.
27:04It was you, wasn't it?
27:06You were the one that was meddling with Valentina.
27:09Well, that's ridiculous.
27:11Why would I do that?
27:12Because Burton isn't really your pet name, is it?
27:15It's the name of her lover.
27:17She was having an affair and you found out, didn't you?
27:21Oh, yeah.
27:22You don't know what it's like when you're married to such a vibrant and beautiful woman.
27:31I mean, I've tried to hold the years back.
27:33She's hardly aged since we were married.
27:36I suspected she was seeing someone.
27:39So I bought some spyware for her phone.
27:42I'm not proud.
27:43But I tracked her to a local hotel multiple times.
27:47And did you confront her?
27:50What?
27:50And risk her leaving me?
27:51No.
27:53No, I decided to play some practical jokes.
27:57Always childish and stupid.
27:58I hate myself now.
28:00So is that what the cake was about?
28:02Maybe you didn't mean to kill her, but you just wanted her to swell up on live TV.
28:06That wasn't me.
28:08I'd never risk that.
28:09I might have wanted to humiliate her, but I never wanted her to come to any harm.
28:14Much less die.
28:17This spyware, was it a location-sharing app?
28:22No, it was much more sophisticated than that.
28:24I mean, I could track Val's phone to within centimetres, even when it was turned off.
28:3513 calories.
28:37Rote lozenge.
28:39You've got to protect that voice now.
28:42Thanks.
28:42Um, so do the, er, viewers have to pay extra for the workouts with this, or is there some
28:49kind of monthly fee?
28:51I don't know.
28:52I wish Jane was here.
28:53She always knows this stuff.
28:55There's a contents library of over a thousand workouts.
28:58Jane, you'll pack.
28:59And with that model, you can connect your phone via Bluetooth and exercise to all your favourite
29:04tunes.
29:05Hey.
29:05Tony, you ever thought about presenting, Jane?
29:07Oh, heavens no.
29:09Who'd want to see me on screen?
29:11I'm not exactly glamorous.
29:12Now, I don't suppose you could help me put this lot back on the shelves.
29:22Tony was the saboteur.
29:26Wait.
29:27Is he the killer, then?
29:28We don't think so.
29:31I know this is your studio, but it seemed like you did everything that Valentina demanded.
29:36Why?
29:36I told you, she was our big star.
29:39We needed her.
29:40But audience research showed that Maria was nearly as popular.
29:43You could have replaced Valentina with her.
29:45Made your life a lot easier.
29:47Hmm.
29:47Maybe there was another reason you didn't.
29:50Maybe it's because you and Valentina were having an affair.
29:54Are you crazy?
29:55She'd eat me alive.
29:57Then why do you have her phone?
30:00I don't know what you're talking about.
30:06I turned it off.
30:11State-of-the-art spyware can turn phones on remotely now.
30:18Did you murder Valentina?
30:21No.
30:22I took her phone after she died, yes, but that's it.
30:28She had a video of me.
30:29I needed to make sure no one saw it.
30:31That we have corporate tax.
30:32This significantly reduces our liability.
30:34That's right.
30:36Then let's establish an LLC and get started.
30:40Okay.
30:42Yeah, talk about dull.
30:44Why was Andrew so desperate to get his hands on theirs?
30:46Because they're discussing some dodgy tax avoidance scheme.
30:50Apparently, he got some massive end-of-year bill that he couldn't afford to pay,
30:56so he hired a specialist to do a bit of creative accounting.
31:00I hoped he'd save the studio.
31:02Yeah, Valentina got wind of it.
31:04Recorded one of the meetings.
31:06Yeah, and then Valentina threatened to tell the tax man if Andrew didn't do everything she asked of him.
31:11So with her dead, he's free?
31:13Yeah.
31:13Was there anything else on there?
31:17Well, no, just lots and lots of messages from other men she'd been seeing.
31:21No wonder Tony was upset.
31:23She had, like, more than five of them on the go with proper racy stuff as well.
31:27And all you showed me was some boring tax video.
31:29Listen, I know we know about Burton, but there was also Hilton, Todd, Fisher...
31:35Wilding.
31:36How'd you know that?
31:38Elizabeth Taylor's husbands.
31:40Valentina must have named her lovers after them.
31:42Oh.
31:42She did.
31:43Icon.
31:44We need to have another look on here.
31:46We must be missing something.
31:47Actually, I need to go and prepare for my live television debut.
31:51Wish us some friar.
31:53Huh?
31:54Friar-tuck.
31:56What?
31:56Good luck.
31:57Ah, very good.
31:58Oh, er, er, I'm just getting a call from the chocolate factory.
32:02One of their oompa-loompa's gone missing.
32:03Oh, Frank.
32:05Can't let him go on telly like that.
32:07He's supposed to be giving a tribute to Valentina.
32:10Hey, Tony.
32:12Hi.
32:13Hello.
32:14Do you have a little word about your make-up?
32:16Oh, do I need a bit more?
32:17Um.
32:28Many of you, like me, saw Valentina as a true friend.
32:38She was an integral part of the WSC family, and we will all miss her terribly.
32:42It looks much better.
32:44Well done.
32:45As you know, my wife was extremely excited about our 20th birthday Bonanza promotion.
32:51Our best-selling items with a whopping 20% off.
32:55Valentina was passionate about bringing you the best possible deal.
32:59So, in her memory, we're going to knock another 5% off all prices and throw in one of these
33:05Valentina tribute candles with every purchase.
33:07Really?
33:09We've lost the whole morning, and we need to hit the channel's target.
33:14Besides, it's what she would have wanted.
33:17To take your calls is the lovely Simeon.
33:19Say hello, Simeon.
33:21Hello, Simeon.
33:24He's going to do great, isn't he?
33:25Absolutely.
33:27First up is this state-of-the-art exercise bike.
33:30Tony, would you like to do the honors?
33:33Now, this model has access to an online library of over 1,000 workouts.
33:38Or you can simply connect your phone via Bluetooth, so you can work out to your favourite tunes.
33:44Tony, what do you fancy?
33:45Some soft rock?
33:46Oh, always, Maria.
33:50Oh, that is so smooth.
33:52Just like the music.
33:53Now, this bike normally retails at £299, and we're offering it for £199.99.
34:01But today, with your 25% discount, it can be your...
34:05I think Simeon wants them to go over.
34:07No, no, you can't.
34:08We're live.
34:09We're just to spread the cards.
34:10Okay, stay tight.
34:11It's only Tony and Maria.
34:11Just over £12 a month.
34:13I mean, that's cheaper than a gym membership, isn't it?
34:15And so much of a million.
34:17I'm sold.
34:19I've got to get one of these.
34:20I think I know who the killer is.
34:24We're also throwing in the passport wallet and matching luggage tags.
34:28Is that a bargain or what?
34:30Well, especially with that extra discount.
34:33Now, our next item isn't just a razor.
34:35It's a 15-in-1 total grooming system.
34:39Remember, it comes with all these attachable tools.
34:43What are they doing, huh?
34:44And the post-shave lotions, which do smell fabulous.
34:47Oh, we need to talk to you about Palatina's death.
34:49I'm about to be on camera.
34:51We usually offer it cheese for £99.99.
34:53You think I killed her?
34:55Well, she did destroy your dream.
34:58What?
34:59Being a presenter on a low-budget shopping channel?
35:01No.
35:02No, you're saying.
35:03Hurry up.
35:03Not at the dream.
35:05And the team are calling.
35:06She'll have got some more quieter.
35:07Over to another of our bestsellers and a favourite for all you campers out there.
35:10Isn't that right, Maria?
35:12Maria, you look very different.
35:13Have you changed your hair?
35:14We are the only one going on.
35:15I'm just having a joke with you.
35:17Maria's had to step off for a moment,
35:19so joining us now for the next item is my good friend, Lou.
35:25Read it.
35:28Oh, a bestseller for sure.
35:31Let's talk about bearable, wearable sleeping bags.
35:36What does Fabian have to do with Valentina's death?
35:41He's the mysterious Burton she was having an affair with.
35:44Yeah, at first we were having trouble making the connection,
35:46but luckily Sebastian here is as much a fan of the silver screen as Valentina was.
35:51She named her lovers after the husbands of Elizabeth Taylor
35:54and Richard Burton famously starred in the film Cleopatra,
35:57which is also the name of Fabian's garage.
36:01I think that's a bit of a stretch.
36:03Yeah, that's what I thought, until, er...
36:06when we found this.
36:08Valentina's phone?
36:09Yeah, we, er...
36:10we called up Burton on it and, er...
36:13guess who answered?
36:16Fabian.
36:17He had a lot to say about you.
36:19How he couldn't accept the fact you'd split up.
36:21How you became obsessed with finding out why he left you.
36:24And then you realised...
36:26you were seeing Valentina, didn't you?
36:29And you decided she needed to pay.
36:33It's a great theory, but unless you have any hard evidence,
36:35I really need to get back to that.
36:37You know, for someone who takes such good care of their vocal cords,
36:41I thought it was strange to see you in the smoking shed the other day.
36:45So I asked Frank and Lou to take a look at the cigarette bin.
36:48Yeah.
36:50Did, didn't they?
36:50And, er...
36:52it's not the nicest place to root around, but, er...
36:55then...
36:56we found these.
36:58I wonder what the police will find when they check up the DNA and prints.
37:01We've been planning our wedding since school, me and Fabian.
37:09The only reason I took this job, so we could save more.
37:13Then, a few months ago, he just went...
37:16cold.
37:18Called off the engagement, moved out.
37:22Wouldn't even take my calls.
37:24I knew it was another woman, but I never imagined...
37:27It was after the menopause segment disaster.
37:30I went to Valentina's dressing room and I was going to beg her
37:33to let me help with the birthday bonanza launch.
37:36I found her on the phone.
37:38Fabian.
37:39You can look under my hood any day.
37:41My Fabian.
37:42I couldn't believe it.
37:43Ciao.
37:45So you're the other woman?
37:47How could you?
37:49Well, you tried stealing my presenting job.
37:53So I stole your man.
37:56This is about work.
37:58Do you even love him?
37:59Of course not, darling.
38:01It's just a bit of fun.
38:03You know what he meant to me.
38:04We were getting married.
38:06Oh, no, no.
38:07I didn't tell him to leave you.
38:09That was all him.
38:11He realised he didn't want to be stuck with you for the rest of his life.
38:16Not once he knew what he was missing.
38:17I'm looking forward to trying your cake.
38:22See you on set.
38:28Valentina had a problem with her stupid car and I gave her Fabian's details just to be nice.
38:33Valentina spotted my hand cream when I first started and she went mad because it had almond oil in it.
38:40Banned it from the building.
38:42But I still had it in my car.
38:44You knew someone at the studio was sabotaging Valentina.
38:57You hoped they'd also be blamed for tampering with the cake.
39:00Which is why you begged Andrew to keep us on the case.
39:05I was going to retrieve it after we finished today.
39:09Dispose of them properly.
39:10So, I will need them back.
39:16Oh, I don't think so.
39:18I, uh...
39:19Oh!
39:23That just looks so comfy.
39:25And it's practical too, isn't it?
39:27Yes, Tony.
39:28And it's actually very lightweight.
39:30Tony.
39:31So, it doesn't just have to be for camping.
39:34You could wear this around the house, on the school run, even for popping in other shops.
39:37Well, I don't know about the shops, Tony.
39:41It's a bit warm in here and, um, can't actually move much.
39:44But I love the colour.
39:46Oh, Louie, you're a hoot.
39:47I bet you can't wait to take one of these home, can't you?
39:49Oh, no.
39:52Give me that bag.
39:53Oh, my dead body.
39:54Give her ideas.
39:56Maria.
40:00You saw them, Maria.
40:02No!
40:03Valentina was an evil cow.
40:05She bullied everyone.
40:07She slept with anything that moved.
40:09She didn't care who she hurt.
40:10I did the world a favour by getting rid of her.
40:12Come and breathe.
40:13Ah!
40:15And, thank goodness, this model comes with an automatic shut-off.
40:20It's actually much more practical than it looks, Tony.
40:24Giving it a thumbs up.
40:26Don't know if you can see that.
40:27I honestly don't know how you lot do it.
40:38It's a mixture of sheer stupidity and dumb luck.
40:42I think you'll find it's called good old-fashioned detective work.
40:46Isn't that right, Sebastian?
40:47Yes.
40:48And, actually, it was pretty obvious if you knew where to look.
40:52You too now, is it?
40:53Just what I need.
40:54Hey, Keela, need any pointers?
40:57Just give us a call.
40:58HE LAUGHS
40:59HE LAUGHS
41:00Oh, I'm so sorry about ruining your programme.
41:09Are you kidding?
41:11The sales figures have been off the chart.
41:13The channel are thrilled.
41:14HE LAUGHS
41:15HE LAUGHS
41:15Hey, forget promotions.
41:18That you just unveiled Keela's live on air.
41:20HE LAUGHS
41:20Yeah, too good.
41:22Oh, hey, guys.
41:27Guys.
41:29I'm going to need some help getting out of the...
41:31I can't believe you've got it on again.
41:35It's actually really comfy.
41:37HE LAUGHS
41:37You just have to be a little bit thanks.
41:43A bit creative if you need a wee, you know?
41:45Hmm.
41:46Oh! Oh, it's on.
41:48Seb, turn it up.
41:49Well, I'm sure many of you, like me, can't function without any coffee.
41:53Oh, he looks different.
41:54He's not just a make-up.
41:56Yeah.
41:56Did I tell you?
41:57He sold Valentina's fancy car, gave the money to Andrew to pay the tax bill.
42:01Here she comes.
42:02Jane, this looks like a complicated bit of kit.
42:05Oh, actually, Tony, it's so easy.
42:07Even you could do it.
42:09Oh, look, she's a natural.
42:11You simply fill the water-pressant wire.
42:13You know, we may nearly have been hedge-trimmed to death, but I'm so glad Andrew finally recognised Jane's potential.
42:19Yeah.
42:20According to the forums, the viewers are really enjoying seeing somebody like them on screen, somebody real.
42:26Hmm.
42:27Still got nowhere to stand in the booth, though, have they?
42:29No.
42:31It's funny you should say.
42:34I've actually been offered that job full-time.
42:39Oh.
42:40Oh.
42:41Well, we have been talking.
42:45Yeah.
42:46And, um...
42:46And we were thinking maybe we could pay for you to do the professional investigator course.
42:52Really?
42:53Yeah.
42:54You did really well on this case.
42:55We wouldn't have cracked it without you.
42:56We just thought you might like the chance to hone your skills.
43:00I mean, we can't pay you any more money.
43:03But we can hire someone to cover the phones and that while you're studying.
43:07Would I, um, get a new job title?
43:12Yeah.
43:13Yeah.
43:13Oh, executive, investigative, assistant.
43:20Joven, my stars be praised.
43:22I'd be honoured.
43:24You know, I think my place might always be with Shakespeare and Hathaway and Brudenell.
43:29Brudenell, Shakespeare and Hathaway.
43:31It's got a ring to it.
43:31We don't need to talk about billing now.
43:33I need to work out where I'll put my desk.
43:35Switch that.
43:36Buy some business cards.
43:38Yes, H.
43:39I think we've created a monster.
43:43Okay.
43:52We'll see you next time.
44:00Bye.
44:00Transcription by CastingWords
44:30CastingWords
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